How the Girl Scout Cookie Crumbles (2/26/25)

Two consumer groups released a recent lab report on Girl Scout cookies titled “Danger in the Dough: Unveiling the Toxic Contaminants in Girl Scout Cookies.” The results demonstrated that every single cookie tested positive for glyphosate and likewise for one or multiples of various heavy metals like lead, arsenic, and mercury. In conclusion this poses “profound ethical and public health concerns.” 

Girl Scouts of the USA did not refute the claims, but instead dumped responsible for these findings on naturally occurring “environmental contaminants.” The FDA confirmed, stating that this is just a “reality about our food supply.” GS-USA then reminded consumers, that the cookies “are safe to consume,” and every cookie purchases helps little girls - a typical emotional appeal. 

This issue even made it on the Joe Rogan podcast. However, what is not being discussed widely is that the cookies have lengthly ingredient lists that are arguably far worse than what the lab analysis found. All of the cookies are made, obviously, with wheat, but are primarily comprised of multiple forms of sugar, a mixture of seed and other oils, and numerous versions of corn and soy. In other words, they are as subsidized as they are unhealthy on the face of the box. It is therefore no surprise that the FDA would dismiss such concerns, considering the incredible lobbying power of the groups responsible for the chemical, genetically modified, trash pumped into the food system. 

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