What if softness wasn’t an escape, but a strategy for days that won’t slow down? Tajuana opens up about rebuilding calm inside a loud life—motherhood with two energetic boys, a body moving through hormonal phases, and a schedule that never quite empties. Instead of chasing an idealized version of ease, she walks through a practical soft-life toolkit: habit stacking that keeps essentials on autopilot, cycle-aware planning that honors shifting energy, and tiny joy rituals that reset the nervous system in minutes.
We unpack how stress tricks us into dropping the routines that work, and how to make them frictionless again by anchoring new behaviors to ones you already do. Think: checking your cycle phase before email, journaling after skincare, and slipping in a short meditation without re-negotiating with yourself. Tajuana also shares what she’s learning about menstrual phases—why luteal days call for warmth, simpler tasks, and more rest—and how period tracking apps can guide food, movement, and focus choices without becoming rigid rules.
This conversation gets specific about micro-moments that matter: a quiet lap through a bookstore, fresh flowers on the counter, a vegetable-heavy salad that sparks genuine delight, and the grounding power of breath and mantras when the room turns rowdy. The theme isn’t perfection; it’s pattern recognition and kindness—choosing inputs that soothe instead of spike. If you’ve felt “always on,” this is a gentle blueprint for building calm into the cracks of a busy day, protecting your energy with boundaries, and finding pockets of peace that actually fit your season.
If this resonates, tap follow, share it with a friend who needs softer edges this week, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find the show.
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Episode Transcript
Hi guys.
Welcome to another episode ofTurn the Page Podcast.
This is one of your co-hosts,Tawana Page.
It is just me today.
I was saying on the other fewepisodes before this.
Um I have a bunch of recordingslined up today.
Sherry wasn't able to join metoday, but I just have a bunch
(01:07):
of things I wanted to share withyou guys and to talk about.
I was like, why not just hop onhere and share it with you guys?
Uh yeah, here we are.
So haven't we ever talked aboutthis topic, but we're gonna talk
about it today.
So this is just like a it mightbe new for both of us, all of
us.
Um we're gonna be talking aboutthe soft girl era.
(01:30):
So essentially, not even softgirl, but like soft life, soft
life, um, in this current seasonof life, like real life, and
what that looks for me rightnow.
So obviously, if you know me, ifyou don't know me, I'm a mom of
two, six and three-year-old,both boys.
So I also just did an episodelast week, um, and it'll come
(01:53):
out before this one, about beinga boy mom and how I'm the only
girl in the house.
Um, and how their dad and bothof them are just like all three
like the boyest boys ever.
And I am like the g not thegirlest girl ever, like there's
more there are some girls outhere that are girlier than I am,
but I'm closer to a girl than Iam a boy in that sense.
(02:18):
But this is just like my nervoussystem is always activated when
they are around because they'rejust like running all over the
place.
So like wrestling, jumping offthe bed, jumping off the couch,
and I'm just like I my anxietyand my nervous system cannot
keep up.
Um playing ball in the house andjust like and just like running
(02:40):
over to like hug me and tackleme and um like unprompted out of
nowhere, which is precious, butit I just need some warning.
But yeah, needing a soft lifecurrently lying in bed, or like
I'm sitting up recording this,but full disclosure, since I am
a woman, I still bleed, I'mgetting my period this week, and
(03:00):
for some reason, this month,this period, I am feeling it all
over my body.
So I'm just not feeling the bestright now, but I still had to
show up for you guys.
So that's an example of a softerror.
I am home by myself right now,the house is quiet and empty,
and I can think.
Like I just want to do all thethings, but really want to do
(03:20):
nothing because I like this isso rare.
So this is like my soft liferight now in a house full of
chaos, and then my nervoussystem can it finally remembers
this is what peace feels like.
So that actively working onsetting boundaries, like I've
been therapy again, just likeall the things I've been doing
acupuncture more, like life hasjust been really it's been life
(03:44):
and lately, lightly.
It's been lifing lately.
It's been quite challengingrecently and lately.
Um, I feel like the whole worldhas just activated lately, and
my life is as well.
But I'm trying, guys.
I mean, I'm only human, I'mtrying.
For me, like the soft life usedto literally mean because like
before kids, it was just like,oh, I can just like lay around
(04:07):
and watch TV all day, binge onNetflix, and just like do all
the things, go to Target.
But now, since being a mom,can't do that.
I mean, even when like I'm homeby myself, I have no desire to
lay around and watch TV.
I have a desire to lay aroundand read and record and work on
my blog and write and likethat's just different, right?
It's different for me now.
(04:28):
Like that's my soft life now.
And when life gets hard, likestill have the kids to take care
of, still have bills to pay, ofresponsibilities.
I feel like that is my motivatorthough to like lean into my soft
life because it's like none ofthat will stop the bills,
disabilities, and like takingcare of the kids, like none of
(04:48):
that will stop.
But it's like especially like mykids, because obviously they
need me so much right now.
Um, it's like my motivator justto like go into my toolbox of
things and life gets really hardto help me because when life
gets hard.
Like I don't know if I do itintentionally, but like I
usually stop doing the thingsthat are working because I feel
(05:10):
like it's just too much effortat that point sometimes.
And I'm like, I just don't feellike doing XYZ when I know that
it'll actually help me and helpme feel better.
Some reason my brain is justwired to be like, uh, we're not
gonna do this when you feel notyour best, even though we know
that it helps.
So I'm trying to like workthrough that and just like honor
what my body needs, and alsothis is just like an off week
(05:31):
anyway, because I'm getting myperiod.
So I've also been learn thisthat also looks different for me
now in my soft life.
I've been researching andheavily learning about hormones
and the different cycles andphases that women have, and how
men's cycles are literally 24hours and they reset every day.
Like a woman's cycle, like onaverage is 28 days.
(05:51):
And I say on average becauseevery woman's different.
Some of some of the cycles arelonger, 35 days, or some of them
are shorter.
Like every woman's cycle isdifferent, and within those
cycles, there's four phases thefolliger, the luthial, the
menstrual, and the ovulation.
Set them out of order.
I know the menstrual is yourfirst one because it's day one
(06:12):
to five.
Um, and the one, the last one isthe luthial, because it's right
before your menstrual.
That's the last one.
And I think ovulation is beforethat, and then the folliger.
Yeah.
So I knew none of this inschool, none of it at all.
They teach a sign health class.
But anyway, my soft life now ishonoring where my body and my
mind both are in those fourdifferent phases of my cycle.
(06:37):
And I track my period so ittells you like what cycle and
what phase you're in.
So that has not been a problem.
That's been really easy,actually.
But if you don't have if youdon't want to track it on the
app, you can like write downyour journal, like when you get
your period, and like how you'refeeling that week, and then like
the week after, and the weekafter and the week after, and
like just make see the pattern.
But having the app helps.
There's so many different apps.
I use Lively, which I've talkedabout before in the podcast.
(06:59):
There's what's the other one?
Flow, F L O.
Great.
But you can also use the app totrack your period.
Um, there's tons of apps outthere in track your period.
Like just go to your either ifyou have Android or Apple, go to
like the App Store, whatever itis on your phone, and just type
in like period app.
And it'll bring up somany, 'cause there's so many,
(07:21):
and most of them are free.
Like until you have to like getinto like the different features
you want to use.
But some people pay for itbecause it's like helpful for
them.
But lively is free and it trackseverything.
And then it um tells you what toeat, what to do, and like how to
move your body during like I'min the luthial phase now.
(07:43):
Um my period is due tomorrow ona twenty-eight-day cycle.
So for example, like the eatingthat's best for this phase are
bananas, probiotics, guava,black beans, corn, just like
random things.
And if you click on it, it'lltell you why it's beneficial
during that phase.
Warm tea.
(08:04):
So, for example, warm tea.
Do this men soothes menstrualcramps, it supports digestion,
it promotes relaxation andsleep.
It's an antioxidant property.
Yeah, so that, and then let mesee.
Oh, for the doing during thisphase.
Vision board, organizedworkspace, live concert, prep
night, double check, takebreaks.
(08:25):
That's funny because it saystake breaks when it tells you to
go to a live concert.
And there's tidy up, shareresponsibilities, board games,
self-care night, skinexfoliation, simple tasks, deep
work.
Some of these podcasts was oneof them.
That's funny.
Always podcasting though.
It's saying that it's audiomotivation, it expands your
mind, it's an emotional uplift,it's learning on learning on the
(08:47):
go, it's community connection.
So this is either tuning intoone, but I'm recording one now,
so I don't know if that was thesame.
But anyway, that and then formoving my body during this time,
it has suggested running, lowintensity workout, Pilates,
stretching, skating, naturewalk, hiking, walking, yoga,
bar, swimming.
(09:07):
So today's the last day of mycycle, and if my period starts
tomorrow, it'll be day one.
So the first day of your periodis day one of your cycle.
But yes.
So it's definitely helped metremendously.
So I consider this part of likemy soft error because I am
(09:28):
learning about my period and myhormones and just how like
things make me feel and justeverything.
And I just love it.
It has helped so much for me.
Um, you can also track yoursymptoms if you need to in the
app.
I do not.
(09:49):
Um, I don't know why.
I just don't.
But it has helped so much and Ilove that that is now part of my
soft life error because I againnever learned about this until
no idea, just knew that it waslike one week out of the month.
But I was like, great, this isgonna be hell for a week.
(10:09):
But then also the week beforewas also hell, like PMF, but
also recently I've realized thatlike the week before my period,
I get really depressed, likesuper depressed.
It seems like it comes out ofnowhere, but it's like the
beginning of that week before,and then it's all the way until
the first day of my period,which is like the following
(10:31):
week.
So that sucks, super sucky, butI've been talking to my doctor
about it, and we're gonna dosome things, but something I'm
also learning about myself, it'snot just oh, you're crazy during
this time.
It's like for various reasons,and I've been journaling more,
and that's part of my soft era.
I've been journaling more, I dothat in the morning, I've been
(10:52):
trying to meditate, been tryingto add that in.
I don't know if you guys haveheard of habit stacking.
I've heard of it a lot in thepersonal development and
wellness space.
But if you don't know what itis, it's essentially like you
already have a habit of, youknow, like brushing your teeth
in the morning and brushing itat night.
Brushing them at night.
Uh especially definitely likebrushing them in the morning.
(11:15):
That's like you just you're anautopilot, you just do it, you
don't think about it, you justdo it.
So for mine, it's brushing myteeth and taking my birth
control and my allergy medicinein the morning um before I get
in the shower.
When I get out of the shower, Ido my face um routine and my
skin routine, and then I take myvitamins.
So those are all things that Ido in the morning that I don't
think about, I just do it.
(11:36):
So if I wanted to add likesomething new to my morning
routine, I would add it in ontop of like the habits that I
already do and don't have tothink about.
So it's like I'm just moving onto the next thing.
That actually like helps ifyou're trying to add a new habit
into you your life.
And that's what I've been doingin the morning.
Like I'll journal on my phoneand I'll look at the period
(11:57):
tracking app to see like whatphase I'm in, to see like what
they're suggesting for thatphase and see if how that's
gonna like intertwine with myday.
Um, I check a few horoscopeapps, which are just like fun to
me, and then I journal.
And then my ideal plan was tomeditate like after journaling.
I have not been doing that, butthat's essentially what I want
(12:19):
to do.
So I will again try to add thathab stack that habit onto that.
And then I will go brush myteeth and take my birth control
and take my allergy medicine andthen shower and then come out
and do my skincare routine andthen take my vitamins and
address and start the day andget my water.
So it's like if I wanted to addsomething like meditating, I can
(12:43):
throw that into like somethingon top of the habits that I
already have in the morning thatI don't think about anymore.
Just do.
I'm just an autopilot.
Um, so if you're looking to adda new habit to something that
you already just to your life,think about the things that you
do without even like thinkingabout you just do it, there's no
question.
Like if you want to startflossing maybe at night and you
already brush at night, maybeyou can floss before or after
(13:05):
you brush, probably before.
Or I just like see where itworks for you, just like adding
that habit in.
You can just grab your waterbottle and just start chugging
your water.
So, yeah, this is just my softerror.
I've been trying to read more,just did an episode about what
I'm reading right now and stuff.
And I also haven't watched TV inlike months, which I'm very
proud of.
It wasn't intentional, just likeI haven't had time and I've just
(13:27):
prefer to read when I'm notrecording or writing or working.
Just prefer to read more.
That's part of my soft error aswell.
And getting into like new genresof books, I can talk about
fantasy, and I just ordered twobooks about our African history
and getting into that.
I don't know.
Please share with me uh andCherie and us if you are in your
(13:51):
soft error, if you ever havebeen, and what you did and what
you're doing and what thatentails for you.
So, like I said, my nervoussystem is like always activated
when my children are around justbecause they're just boys and
their kids.
But like obviously our nervoussystems were not meant to always
be on.
Um because it's bad for you.
Cue, anxiety, depression.
(14:13):
So we all deserve to feel likesoftness even in the chaos, and
that there's like something likeeven little you can do in the
middle of the chaos.
Maybe if it's like deepbreathing or just like reciting
mo things to yourself over andover again, or just like a
mantra or an affirmation you canrecite to yourself either out
loud or like in your head tolike bring you back down, bring
(14:35):
you back down to being groundedin the midst of like that chaos,
or if it's just like not achaotic moment, but like your
life feels chaotic at themoment, or is chaotic at the
moment, and you just have somuch going on, but you still
have responsibilities, children,bills, like it's just like
that's just how life is.
It's like your life is chaotic,but you still have all these
other things going on, likethose things don't stop.
(14:57):
So sometimes it's gonna feellike it's a lot, and you just
need to take a beat and take astep back and be like, Okay,
what can I control right now?
And when can I not control?
Um and most of the time thecontrol answer is you.
You can control yourself, andwhat you cannot control is other
people.
So what can you do to controlyourself in the chaos and in the
(15:20):
mess?
Like I said, deep breathing, orif it's like even if it's like
ten minutes before you usuallywake up just to do some yoga,
just to move your body, or likewhatever you need whatever that
looks, whatever that softnesslooks like for you.
Because our nervous systems werenot made to be on 24-7 like they
(15:40):
are currently.
It's just it's awful.
And you feel I feel it in mybody personally, um, just
getting ramped up and justthere's a lot going on, but it
doesn't mean that we have tolike be swallowed by it.
Like we can still find likelittle joy.
Speaking of that, yesterday Ineeded to um did I record her?
(16:02):
No, I did not record yesterday.
I was editing yesterday, editingepisodes yesterday, and I needed
a break.
And that for me involved likegetting out of the house.
So I went to Barnes and Noble towalk around.
It was absolutely delightful.
And then I walked to TraderJoe's and brought myself fresh
flowers.
Absolutely delightful.
And then I walked to get a saladat Chopped, and that was also
delightful.
And it was just nice to get outof the house, like alone, and I
(16:25):
brought fresh flowers, broughtthem home, put them in a vase,
two vases, vases, vases, and itwas amazing.
I didn't buy a book from Bartsand Noble, but just like walking
around there and like differentlooking at the different
sections and just like like timejust stopped, and it was just
amazing, and that calmed medown, it calmed my nervous
system down, and it was a softit was a soft piece for me in my
(16:49):
day.
And it's like the small thingslike fresh flowers, it was just
like the small joys.
And the chopped salad wasabsolutely phenomenal, not an
ad, but I have been trying, Ihave been slacking on meal
prepping and eating fruits andveggies like I used to, as in
like a couple weeks ago.
Been slacking majorly becauseI'm human, life, I'm human.
(17:11):
But the salad that I hadyesterday was literally all
vegetables and sweet potato, andit was so good, so good, and
with like their choppedvinaigrette or something, I
forget what it's called.
Oh my gosh, it was so good.
I have never been so like amazedby a bowl of vegetables, and
(17:32):
then I had like a bag ofbroccoli a whole bag of broccoli
with my dinner.
Like it was, guys, that saladwould be dreaming about it.
It was so good.
It was their chopped blend forthe base.
It was like red cabbage, kale,arugula, spinach, romaine, and
then I got broccoli, roastedbroccoli, sweet potatoes,
(17:54):
tomatoes, and parmesan cheese.
That was only non-vegetable forparmesan cheese.
Oh my gosh, when I tell you thathit the spot of it filled the
void of my veggie void.
It was amazing.
It was so good.
Probably won't buy it againtoday because it was kind of
pricey, but it is just what Ineeded yesterday.
(18:14):
It is just what I needed.
And sometimes it's like justrandom things like that.
Like I literally was like, Ineed to leave the house.
I was like, Well I'm gonna goget a salad.
So it doesn't always have to beplanned, it could just be like,
you know, a random adventurousthat could be adventurous, like
I walked to the bookstore, likethen I walked to Trader Joe's,
and then I drove to get a salad.
(18:35):
But it was beautiful, it wasamazing.
And if I could like find thingslike that throughout my day to
do like even like half of that,even if that's just like taking
a little bit more time to writein my journal, or like writing a
second time in my journal, orgoing for a walk, something like
that, like those little pocketsof softness are literally what's
(18:57):
keeping me sane and afloat rightnow during this season of my
life.
But this two shell passed,nothing is permanent, and here
we are.
Guys, thank you for joining meon my rant about my softness
error that I had just it's thefirst time I've talked about it,
so thank you for sticking withme.
If you have lasted this long,guys, in the 24 minutes that
(19:19):
I've been talking, please like,listen, share, subscribe, and
review.
And I'd you know, we'd reallylove a five-star review on this
pod.
Like we are five star women,okay?
We just we love it.
Yep, I'll talk to you.
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