Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
You unlocked this door with the key of imagination. Beyond
it is another dimension, a dimension of sound, a dimension
of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a
land of both shadow and substance of things and ideas.
You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Cooper Corporation, How may I direct your call just a moment?
Cooper Corporation.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Coffee coming through.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Ordered coffee with seven two cranes right here, Thanks Louie.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
You got it.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Coffee here?
Speaker 7 (01:01):
Do you have any Danish this morning?
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I got Brand muffins, granola bars and trail mix.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
Oh no, what happened to the Danish?
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Mister Cooper's artist, Mister Cooper, how come he's on a
health kick? Says Danish is bad for you, for the
whole office, everybody on the floor. He wants more work
out of you.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh well, I suppose I'll have one of those granola bars.
Speaker 8 (01:24):
Is it chocolate coated k rib?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Sounds positively yummy. I guess I'll give it a try.
Speaker 9 (01:34):
Hey, that's wrong, you know what day is mcnaughthee Well,
the pastries are bad for the brain, Truther, mostly sugar
and starch, and so are muffins.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Huh.
Speaker 8 (01:43):
Granola bars. Granola bars have as much fat as thirteen
strips of bacon?
Speaker 6 (01:46):
Did you know that?
Speaker 8 (01:48):
And trail mix forget it?
Speaker 10 (01:51):
Forget it.
Speaker 9 (01:52):
There's so many calories and century the fast you might
as well eat a tub of popcorn.
Speaker 8 (01:55):
Huh with butter?
Speaker 6 (01:59):
Well, mister Cooper wants to improve productivity.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
All I know is I got coffee with cream, cream
and sugar, cream by itself, sugar by itself or artificial sweetener,
and that old favorite all black.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
Take your pick, ah, dear versification.
Speaker 10 (02:14):
Now you you're on the right track.
Speaker 6 (02:17):
As I always say, you can't run a business standing still.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
A business has got to move. A business has got
to progress.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
You think about that now.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
Excuse me.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
I gotta progress through the.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Office, so do I?
Speaker 10 (02:28):
We all do.
Speaker 9 (02:29):
A business has got to keep pushing, keep punching, keep priding,
keep moving forward.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
That's what a business has gotta do.
Speaker 10 (02:35):
You think about that?
Speaker 11 (02:37):
Personally?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I gotta get a drink of water.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
You coming get ruth?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, I mean I think I better go with you.
Speaker 10 (02:48):
Sounds good?
Speaker 6 (02:49):
Think come along too? Hey, did you know that water
is the most important part of a healthy guy? We're
almost all water, I mean.
Speaker 9 (02:57):
Ourselves feet off of it right, Hey, you see the
suggestion box on the wall. I personally told mister Cooper
to get better quality bottle water.
Speaker 11 (03:06):
Huh huh.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
But the chemicals they put in it these days. I mean,
think about it now. It's a disgrace not to.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Mention submitted for your approval, or at least your analysis.
One Patrick Thomas mcnufty, who, at age forty one, is
the biggest bore on earth. He holds a ten year
record for the most meaningless words spewed out during a
(03:35):
typical coffee break. And it's very likely that as of
this moment he would have gone on through life in
precisely the same manner, a dull, argumentative big mouth who
sets back the art of conversation at least a thousand years.
I say he very likely would have except for something
that will soon happen to him, something totally unexpected that
(03:58):
will considerably alter his existence and ours. You think about
that now, because this is, after all the Twilight.
Speaker 12 (04:08):
Zone, and now the Twilight Zone and our story a
kind of stopwatch starring lou Diamond Phillips with Stacy Keach
as your narrator.
Speaker 9 (04:39):
God gown, you can taste the impurities we need clean
air too. Helpa Filter's air ion eyes was a whole bit. Ah,
you know, and these rooms need a new paint job
while they're at it, you know, I mean a nice
soothing collar.
Speaker 13 (04:51):
Come on, Angie, let's go to the powder room.
Speaker 9 (04:54):
Yeah, I'm with you, because we've got to keep this
company on track.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
You think about it now, we well, McNulty right here,
mister Cooper would like to see you.
Speaker 13 (05:06):
Well what.
Speaker 6 (05:09):
You hear that?
Speaker 9 (05:10):
Everybody, mister Cooper would like to see McNulty.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
And all because of that box right there.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
You know one mister Cooper wants to see McNulty because
McNaughty has been feeding him suggestions that box for eleven months.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Now did I see suggestions?
Speaker 9 (05:31):
Wrong word suggestions any clode can give, but dynamic blueprints
for the future only McNaughty can give.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
He you just think about that.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Mister Cooper's waiting, mister McNulty.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
I don't suppose you'd be free for dinner, wouldn't you?
Speaker 13 (05:52):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (05:53):
I was thinking we could, you know, nine and some cozy,
little out of the way place.
Speaker 14 (05:58):
Nice and internet and no maybe I trip the light.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Fantastic if I were starving to death and you were
the last man on Earth, and it meant whether I
live or die. I might be, but I'm not. You're not,
and it doesn't. So buzz off buster.
Speaker 15 (06:17):
In here MacNulty.
Speaker 10 (06:20):
Bye, mister Cooper.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Do you know what I've been doing for the last
half hour?
Speaker 9 (06:29):
You've been looking through the suggestion box. I knew it
was gonna happen one of these days. Mister Cooper had
been expecting it.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
You see.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
The thing of it is it takes a very special
kind of employer to recognize that one of his men
has got it.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
And obviously MacNulty does.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Truer words McNulty have probably never been spoken here or
anywhere else. You've just gone through the residue of the
suggestion box covering the past three month period.
Speaker 13 (06:58):
Here is your suggestion.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
D Did March thirteenth make hot dogs flats so they
can fit more easily into a hamburger?
Speaker 15 (07:06):
Bud?
Speaker 6 (07:06):
Well, how about that?
Speaker 13 (07:08):
Now?
Speaker 10 (07:08):
You think about that, now, mister Cooper.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Make tin cans square so they can be stacked together
more easily.
Speaker 9 (07:17):
Well, huh, isn't that a gas?
Speaker 10 (07:20):
You think about that too.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Put small pontoons in field packs of soldiers so that
when they crossed rivers they can.
Speaker 9 (07:30):
Float that's worth a million bucks as it stands. Huh,
I mean that want little suggestion. You see the soldiers,
they go into the water in the cans, wild cans,
they're full of air season.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Mister mcnughty. The Cooper Corporation makes Ladies Foundation garments. That
has nothing whatsoever to do with Hamburgers, hot dogs, tin cans,
or national defense. Not a single one of your three
hundred and forty suggestions, repeat, not one of them has
anything remotely to do with this company's product.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
Right see.
Speaker 6 (08:02):
I wanted to talk to you about that too.
Speaker 9 (08:05):
What you ought to do is focus on new inventions
for our customers.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Our customers.
Speaker 9 (08:13):
Well, I've been doing some reading about pressure and leverage,
the principles of engineering, and one of the greatest engineers
of the twentieth century was Howard Hughes. Why did you
know that he invented the cantilever brazier. He invented an
under government that I actually defied the laws of gravity. Huh,
like a suspension bridge. And if it weren't for his
(08:34):
little invention, nobody would have ever heard of.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
Jane Russell. Did you know that?
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I believe this company is well aware of the history
of our product lines, and they don't have anything to
do with nineteen forties movie stars or eccentric recloses with
mental delusions.
Speaker 8 (08:55):
Exactly.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
The key to a successful business is dev pasification, more
products for more kinds of customers.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Now you think about that.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I have thought about it, McNulty.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
Now you think about this, Yes, sir, you're fired.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Another round McNulty and I'm still working on this one.
Speaker 13 (09:35):
Now overhead, Joe, i'ming right up.
Speaker 9 (09:38):
You know something, Here we go again with the long
ball hitter as opposed to the consistent clutch.
Speaker 10 (09:44):
Hitter with a big average.
Speaker 8 (09:46):
I will take the ladder.
Speaker 13 (09:49):
Well, that's very nice of you to tell us MacNulty.
Speaker 8 (09:52):
Well, it's a fact that at no time, at.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
No time has the home run leader in either league
the league in batting at no time, which should tell you.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Ted Williams won the batting Championship and led the league
in home runs in nineteen forty one, forty two, and
forty seven.
Speaker 9 (10:14):
The exception to the rule. Think about that, now, the
exception to the rule.
Speaker 12 (10:21):
You know something, My sister's got five kids.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
A six to four walk up A little bitty.
Speaker 12 (10:25):
TV said an air conditioner. But don't work, But I'll
tell you what else it don't have it, don't have
mcmaulty me, I'm.
Speaker 8 (10:33):
Out of here, like I was saying, the exception that
proves the rule.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Let me ask you something, macmulty. How come you're in
here so early tonight? You've been sitting here now for
three and a half hours.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Well, for the simple reason that, Yeah.
Speaker 10 (10:54):
I quit my job, no kidding. Yeah, I went into.
Speaker 14 (10:57):
Mister Cooper's office and I read him off just like that.
Speaker 10 (11:01):
Yeah, Cooper, Ice said.
Speaker 13 (11:02):
Don't tell me mcmeelty, you got canned.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Well, in a manner of speaking, you might say, well, yeah,
we mutually agreed that I wasn't gonna work there anymore.
Speaker 16 (11:18):
Let me ask you something, wouldn't wouldn't you think that
after one year of putting suggestions in the suggestion box,
after one whole year, I get noticed?
Speaker 13 (11:32):
Macmulty. You want to know something. Getting noticed and getting
liked are two different.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
Things, buddy, You know about it.
Speaker 13 (11:40):
Nothing mcmeelty, Not a thing.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
All I know is that every week of every month,
except election day, you come in here and drive everybody
out of their skull walking on your lower lip.
Speaker 13 (11:51):
Now you think about that little thing.
Speaker 10 (11:53):
Will you for my sake, where's my other beer?
Speaker 13 (11:59):
Right here?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Thank you for keep.
Speaker 9 (12:03):
If you don't mind, I think I'll find myself a
nice quiet table to sit at. Goodbye, excuse me, my
good man?
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Is this seat taken?
Speaker 13 (12:20):
Is now?
Speaker 17 (12:21):
Sir?
Speaker 10 (12:23):
What do you say? Old time?
Speaker 15 (12:25):
I say fifty four forty your fight?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I also say damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead,
and on occasion, on no occasion, I have been known
to say it takes a heap of living to make
a house a home.
Speaker 10 (12:45):
You want another one?
Speaker 13 (12:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 15 (12:49):
I would consider it the kindness on your part.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
He one more over here, please?
Speaker 10 (13:01):
So what's your name?
Speaker 13 (13:03):
What's my name?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Potts? Pots? Potts.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
That's such a bad name.
Speaker 15 (13:09):
It is the one I was born with.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Seems to me it was the third basement played for
the Phillies one year. It seems to me his name
was Potts. This seems lou Pots, Frank Pats? Could it
have been Bots?
Speaker 8 (13:22):
No?
Speaker 6 (13:23):
Pots?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You paying MacNulty because this old rummy already gave me
his last dollar.
Speaker 9 (13:32):
This man is my friend, and I like a little
respect from you while you're at it.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I bet you would, MacNulty, and you getting respect from
me would be about as easy as flagging down a
cab on forty six in Broadway at eight o'clock on
New Year's Eve in the rain.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Here you go.
Speaker 9 (13:55):
So you want to talk about you wanna wanna talk
about baseball?
Speaker 6 (13:58):
Well it is.
Speaker 15 (14:00):
This is a great American pastime.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And I am so glad that Abner Doubleday saw fit
to invent it.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
To your health friend.
Speaker 15 (14:09):
And now, to show my appreciation for your generosity, I
have something for you. Consider it a gift, a small
remembrance of our friendship.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
Ah, what is it.
Speaker 15 (14:23):
It's an old family heirloom, a kind of stopwatch.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
You might say, what do you care around?
Speaker 10 (14:33):
I mean, you know, if it's just a stop warts,
it doesn't keep.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
Keep time right, that is a fact. But it's all yours.
Speaker 15 (14:44):
Nonetheless, someday you might own a racehorse, or you might
want to run the four minute mile.
Speaker 13 (14:51):
Who knows.
Speaker 15 (14:52):
Now you've got to stop watch to time yourself.
Speaker 13 (14:56):
I've been looking.
Speaker 15 (14:57):
For someone to give it to I myself.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
Them finally finished with it.
Speaker 15 (15:04):
Good bye, old pal.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
E bar of us on them. M hm, hey hey
you didn't finish sha beer?
Speaker 13 (15:25):
You done for the night?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
MacNulty, There ain't no more ears in here you can bend.
You bored ten people to death, and you emptied this
place faster than a smallpox sign.
Speaker 10 (15:38):
Fin out the watch anyway, I hate to go home, Joe.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
I mean, jeez, you know, I mean I already saw
the picture on the Late Show. I mean I even
saw the one on the Late Late Show.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Hey Macnaulty, do me a favor, would you? Whenever you
get the thirst go to some other bar?
Speaker 10 (16:07):
Sometimes? You know, I wish I was I was married, because.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
So I wouldn't have to go anywhere. You ever get
that feeling? Huh uh?
Speaker 10 (16:19):
Like this push my copy?
Speaker 13 (16:23):
And another thing about you, mcdulty.
Speaker 10 (16:25):
You make me nervous.
Speaker 13 (16:27):
First you come in here, and then.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
What what what's going on?
Speaker 8 (16:34):
Joey?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Hey, hey, hey Joe, why ain't you moving?
Speaker 18 (16:41):
Joe?
Speaker 9 (16:42):
Joe, why don't you say something? I mean, I mean,
it's it's it's like he was was frozen.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
What's what's the TV?
Speaker 8 (16:56):
It was a game on?
Speaker 6 (16:57):
The guy started the pitching and.
Speaker 14 (17:02):
You look at that.
Speaker 10 (17:04):
Balls just hang in there?
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Did the TV freeze up or something?
Speaker 10 (17:11):
To say?
Speaker 13 (17:12):
What is this?
Speaker 6 (17:15):
Something was going on?
Speaker 9 (17:16):
All I was doing was tell you about how bored
I was, And then that crazy Gleat gives me this
watch here and I to push the button on.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
It like this, and you bore people to death, and
then you start to make me so nervous my packages.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
And.
Speaker 10 (17:33):
Hey, I gotta like this.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Furthermore, it's getting so people don't stay very long in
my establishment when you're around to catch my drift. They
stick the heads in, see you sitting here, and move on.
In other words, you're costing me business with nalty.
Speaker 13 (17:50):
Do I have to make it any plainer?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
So, like I say, take it somewhere else, Okay, pal,
it's nothing personal.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
I make you nervous.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You don't suppose.
Speaker 10 (18:02):
You don't suppose this watch here?
Speaker 13 (18:05):
You know something McNulty.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
You're the one guy who makes me wish they never
repealed prohibition.
Speaker 9 (18:10):
And you know what I think, Joe, I think this watch,
this watch, this watch is a very unusual one.
Speaker 10 (18:18):
That's what I think, A.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
Very very unusual watch.
Speaker 19 (18:24):
Ah, hey, body, just watch where you're going.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Sorry, sorry, my goodness, yea excuse me begging your.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
Pardon, officer, officer, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
That man over there, I think he's drunk.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Oh he is.
Speaker 6 (19:15):
He bumped right into me.
Speaker 10 (19:17):
You can see the way he's staggering.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
He can hardly stand up.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
It's a disgrace.
Speaker 20 (19:23):
No, we'll just see about that. Helo on there, fella. Yes,
officer had a little too much to drink, did we.
Speaker 17 (19:31):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (19:32):
I wouldn't say that, not enough.
Speaker 20 (19:34):
It's more like, why don't you just go home and
sleep it off. You'll feel better in the morning.
Speaker 10 (19:40):
Yes, of course, of course, I'm on my way home now.
Speaker 20 (19:43):
As a matter of fact, walking I am, i'd say,
you're in no condition.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
You know you're You're right, officer, I was. I was
just thinking about that.
Speaker 7 (19:52):
Well, I'll get along with you.
Speaker 13 (19:53):
Now.
Speaker 10 (19:54):
Why shouldn't then have to walk at all?
Speaker 21 (19:56):
Right?
Speaker 6 (19:56):
He could fall out and get hurt.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Now here's an idea for you. You make the sidewalks
out of rubber. Think about that now, no more injuries
you fall, you about right back and get all the
money the city could save, no more broken arms and
legs to fix, while the hospitals would save millions, not
(20:21):
to mention the the insurance companies.
Speaker 7 (20:25):
I think I better call you a cab.
Speaker 10 (20:27):
Okay, I'm a cab.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
You get it.
Speaker 9 (20:35):
You said I'll call you, and then I said, well,
no more kidding, no none at all.
Speaker 10 (20:41):
I don't I don't want a cab.
Speaker 9 (20:43):
In the first place, I never stopped for you, and
in the second place, it takes too long on account
it there's too much traffic in this city in the
first place.
Speaker 10 (20:51):
Am I right? Or am I wrong?
Speaker 6 (20:52):
You tell me that.
Speaker 7 (20:53):
I'm not telling you nothing, and I'll listen.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you know what they
are to do.
Speaker 10 (21:01):
Put in moving sidewalks.
Speaker 9 (21:04):
Ah, that way, all a man has to do is
standing in one place, not even us a single muscle,
and before you know it, he's home.
Speaker 10 (21:16):
You think about that.
Speaker 7 (21:17):
I'm serious. If you can't afford a cab, the subway
is right at the end of the block. Now run along.
Either that or I'll haul you in right now.
Speaker 10 (21:25):
On what charge, may I ask?
Speaker 20 (21:27):
Public intoxication. Plus, you're making a real nuisance of yourself.
Now quit flapping your lips and get a move on here.
Speaker 10 (21:35):
Of course I do, officer.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
I hear the wisdom of your words, and I have
enjoyed this conversation immensely.
Speaker 10 (21:45):
A good evening to you, sir. Just move along now, someway.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Well, I guess it's an okay way to get around
for now. Of course, if anybody would listen to McNulty.
Speaker 13 (22:14):
Hurry up, will you?
Speaker 15 (22:15):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (22:15):
Hey, well, what's what's the matter with this turnstile? I'm
pushing but it doesn't turn.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
You gotta put a token in? Oh, yes, of course? Next?
How many?
Speaker 10 (22:32):
What?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Oh? Uh?
Speaker 10 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (22:35):
Just one? One token?
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Where's your money?
Speaker 10 (22:38):
I I don't have any small bills.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
No money, no token, but I have to get home.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Well, don't go trying to jump the gate, or the
guard will find you a good next.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Come on, buddy, next.
Speaker 10 (22:53):
Can't you just wait?
Speaker 11 (22:55):
You over and dick and token off the top of
that stick and hand it to me.
Speaker 14 (23:00):
See, nobody will notice he's just a swatch.
Speaker 13 (23:03):
What's with that guy?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Of all the nerve?
Speaker 15 (23:06):
I think there's something wrong with him?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Next person in line?
Speaker 6 (23:10):
Wait?
Speaker 10 (23:10):
Uh?
Speaker 9 (23:12):
In that case, I may have a solution to this,
this little dog, this little impasse.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Holrighto, will you?
Speaker 10 (23:21):
It's just this switch here on.
Speaker 19 (23:23):
Top of for crying all out?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Now he's set in his watch.
Speaker 18 (23:27):
Yes, he sees this is the button I pushed before. Ah, not, well.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
What do you know?
Speaker 6 (23:43):
Looks like I don't need a talking to get through
the gate. After all. I'll just climb over right under
your nose.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Mister security guard. And when I'm safely aboard my train.
Who wait, wait a minute, Oh no, no, no, why
take the train at all? Why when there are other
modes of transportation available, other much more comfortable kinds.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
Now, I'll just click this up watch one more time.
And I have to do is wait? Did I see
what I'm looking for?
Speaker 7 (24:38):
You again? I thought he was getting on the subway.
Speaker 10 (24:41):
Oh I was off, Sure I was, but you know
he's as much too crowded. I decided to take a
cab after all.
Speaker 7 (24:48):
What are you trying to pull?
Speaker 13 (24:50):
Why?
Speaker 9 (24:50):
Nothing, officer, huh, It's just that I thought of another
way to get home.
Speaker 7 (24:56):
You even got enough money for a cab? What did
you drink it?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
All?
Speaker 10 (25:00):
Money?
Speaker 6 (25:02):
What an old fashioned concept?
Speaker 9 (25:04):
I don't really think that's necessary now, No, not necessary
at all. No, no, not as long as I can
stop a cab. Of course, that's hard to do on
a corner like this.
Speaker 7 (25:13):
Let's go. I think I better take it down to
the station office.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
But why bother?
Speaker 13 (25:17):
Huh?
Speaker 10 (25:17):
I mean, you know, as long as I can hail
a cab.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Let me let me.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
Show you Macnalty's method.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
You watch and you think about it, now.
Speaker 22 (25:24):
Okay, tasy.
Speaker 6 (25:32):
There?
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Yeah, I think I can see a cab now, that
one in the middle of the street.
Speaker 10 (25:40):
How nice of the driver to stop just for me.
Hell there, driver, what not speaking?
Speaker 9 (25:56):
Huh well, let me see what I can do to
fix that.
Speaker 13 (26:02):
Well, hey, who are you? How'd you get in my car?
Speaker 11 (26:05):
Never mind, I'm here now, aren't I?
Speaker 13 (26:08):
Okay? Okay, we're to home.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Driver, Take me downtown by the shortest possible route.
Speaker 10 (26:14):
And you think.
Speaker 6 (26:15):
About it now, sure thing? Hey, hey, hey, hey, have
you ever thought about this?
Speaker 9 (26:29):
Ban cars completely, you know, in in the in the city,
at least for starters helicopters.
Speaker 10 (26:35):
Now that's the future. Your private cultures.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
Are okay, each one big enough to hold one person.
Speaker 10 (26:42):
You think about the savings in in gas.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
Pollution and traffick. You have not to mention police metamates
and no parking.
Speaker 15 (26:48):
Zones anything, you say, buddy, yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:50):
Yeah, you see, you see all you all you do
is you take some electric golf cars and you're retrofitting
with propellers on top, and you plug them in and
you charge them up and there you go.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
Now you think about what I said.
Speaker 9 (27:10):
Now, the only way to make a really comfortable car
seat is to build it horizontal like those What do
you call them a luge guys in the Olympics, right right, eh?
See that way you just lie down and you still
looking into a mirror, the same as that periscope. You
(27:32):
think how low to the ground all the cars would be.
It's a better center of gravity, it's much better. Plus
you can see across the street without having a strain
in your neck. And when it comes to getting out,
you know, all you do is you roll like in
your bed right now. That would be a big improvement.
Speaker 7 (27:50):
This here is it?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Mister fire as I go, I think you're gonna pack
it in for the night.
Speaker 10 (27:57):
Thank you, my good man.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
That's seventeen eighty.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
How's that the fair?
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Make it eighteen bucks plus something for the wife and kids?
Speaker 10 (28:05):
Now, you see, that's just my point.
Speaker 6 (28:07):
All that money, and for what I say, banned the
internal combustion engine. Springboard shoes would work just fine. All
we need is a company, the manufacturer prototype.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
You're gonna pay me or talk me to death?
Speaker 6 (28:18):
Neither I tell you that she do?
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Do you have the time? The time?
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Here?
Speaker 10 (28:29):
Let's have a look at my pocket watch.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Shally Have I told you about it?
Speaker 21 (28:33):
Yea?
Speaker 9 (28:33):
This is really very unusual. Watch it kind of stop watch. Literally,
allow me to demonstrate.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Don't try to con me.
Speaker 13 (28:47):
All I want is for you to pay up.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
If you don't, I'm calling this sin.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
It's a violation of the city code.
Speaker 13 (28:52):
The defrauded.
Speaker 6 (28:54):
There isn't that better?
Speaker 10 (28:57):
So much more RESTful? I think I'll go inside. I
don't lie down.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
No, no, no, no, don't. Don't you worry about it.
Speaker 9 (29:11):
As soon as I get to my apartment, I'll open
the window and hit the button on this stopwatch again,
and you'll be on your way and.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Tomorrow morning, so will I.
Speaker 9 (29:22):
In fact, from the way things are going so far,
I say that your friend and mine, the one and
only Patrick T. Macnaulty, is going to be the life
of the party. You be sure to think about that, now,
won't you stand back?
Speaker 22 (29:38):
World macnaulty is walking through the universe.
Speaker 10 (29:52):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
The good good morning to your listeners. We'll be bringing
you the eye of all news at seven twenty seven.
Speaker 10 (30:16):
Forgot to turn the blast and alarm off?
Speaker 6 (30:18):
Well for now, here's an update from weather Central. Some
overcast this morning, was scattered cloud this afternoon. And now
back to this morning's casual concert.
Speaker 21 (30:26):
With us swigging said, ain't wrong there is nothing moderate
about today, because today is the day that people start
listening to mcmilty.
Speaker 10 (30:38):
Unless, unless it was some kind of dream. Now, where
is that crazy? Watch a half here? All right? Now,
let's give it the old test.
Speaker 9 (30:57):
Ah, my kind of town, millions of people going to work,
no imagination. But mcmelty, now that's a different story. A
man who's just full of ideas, so original. They don't
have a word for him yet.
Speaker 13 (31:12):
But they will.
Speaker 10 (31:15):
If this thing works. Well, here goes.
Speaker 8 (31:24):
It's not a dream, it's not a dream.
Speaker 21 (31:26):
It's the Cuds, the real deal, this wonderful, gordgeous watch.
Speaker 10 (31:32):
I just push the button and everything stops.
Speaker 23 (31:38):
I need everything, The whole world stops for me. Eh
get ready there neck note they steps up to the plate.
Speaker 22 (31:57):
He swings and there's lots of clean out of the park.
Speaker 17 (32:12):
Oh no, not McNulty again, what's doing You's.
Speaker 10 (32:16):
Gonna shoot up the place.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Good morning, Angie MacNulty.
Speaker 10 (32:20):
You look lovely this morning, as always.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Wants a suggestion this time because if you haven't got one, handy,
I've got one for you.
Speaker 9 (32:30):
Yes, why don't you jump off a bridge?
Speaker 6 (32:36):
Honey baby, you don't mean that. Wait, do you see
what I got in my packet.
Speaker 10 (32:42):
It'll put a dad in your eyeballs.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Try the Brooklyn Bridge at midnight.
Speaker 10 (32:48):
You think about this.
Speaker 9 (32:49):
Now, you think about a stopwatch that if somebody pushes it,
everything stops in midy or everything?
Speaker 10 (32:58):
Eh? Eh, they about that.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Without a life jacket. McNulty, Why don't you get lost?
Speaker 10 (33:06):
What's the point? You see this little gimmy.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
It's a watch.
Speaker 9 (33:10):
So so last nine, I'm sitting in Joe.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
Palucci's bar, figures, we're.
Speaker 9 (33:16):
Talking about this and that, and this funny little leap
comes in and gives me this watch without thinking about it,
and I gave it a push. This little button ran
here and everything stops dead. Polucci stops, the ballgame stops,
you know what else? Everything that's what stops. You think
about that?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
No kidding, Joe Palucci and the TV too, well, thanks
for the entertainment. Now get out of here.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
After I see Cooper, it's time to diversify.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Now you wait just a minute, McNulty.
Speaker 8 (33:48):
Mister Cooper's in conference.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
You bet he is.
Speaker 10 (33:51):
He's in conference with me.
Speaker 7 (33:54):
I thought I fired you.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
McNulty. What are you doing back here?
Speaker 6 (33:59):
Mister Cooper barged right in.
Speaker 8 (34:01):
I couldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Well, if he barged right in here, bards right out again.
Speaker 9 (34:05):
Hey, listen, Coop, Coop, you can't afford to fire me
this time.
Speaker 10 (34:12):
I got more than a suggestion.
Speaker 8 (34:14):
I got the goods, You figured out how this little
do hickey works, and you got yourself all the money
in the world.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Mcnothy. Once more, I remind you we make ladies foundations,
nothing else.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Did you hear me?
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Nothing else?
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Now I'll give you fifteen seconds to leave this room,
twenty five seconds to reach the elevator, forty five seconds
to vacate the building, and you may use that watch
to time yourself is in fact.
Speaker 10 (34:44):
All right, then I'll go.
Speaker 11 (34:47):
Just remember you lost a fortune today why they gleaped?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
And even let me show him McNulty. If you're not
out of here in one minute, I'll call the police.
Speaker 6 (35:05):
So what am I waiting for?
Speaker 10 (35:08):
I'll show him anyway.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
I'll show you all.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Hello, operator, get me.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Now, you put that phone down and come with me.
That's right in here.
Speaker 10 (35:27):
Right on Cooper's lap. How about that.
Speaker 9 (35:34):
Nice coffee right in the middle of porn and huh.
Speaker 8 (35:39):
And you a sweetheart?
Speaker 6 (35:41):
I like your typing.
Speaker 8 (35:42):
Don't your hands get tired up in the air like that.
Speaker 24 (35:44):
Eh.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
That so it's good for a laugh.
Speaker 14 (35:51):
Maybe there must be something else I can do with
this thing.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Wow, what do you think you're going?
Speaker 10 (36:16):
Who's up next?
Speaker 13 (36:17):
Don't look now? It is the cleanup man.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
The guy could empty a baseball stadium, not to mention
a bar. If you don't spend three hours telling us
how he'd run the Mets, he'll keep ootsing me about
how I should run my own place.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Hey, Joe, Hey, you want to hear a good idea.
Why don't you make a swinging door like in the movies.
I'm nevy changed the name of the place Pluchi's Western Saloon. Hey,
how about that?
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Hey mcnelty, how about that. I'll have it done first
thing in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:44):
Ah, that's great.
Speaker 9 (36:45):
Then every time I come in, I'll push open a
swinging door and I'll think I did this.
Speaker 10 (36:50):
Wait, well, you know put me on, are you, Joe McNulty.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
The only thing I'd put you on as a slow
freighter heading with the other side of the world.
Speaker 9 (36:57):
See you, Joe?
Speaker 7 (36:58):
Yeah, I'm out of here.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Boys, you're about to see something you ain't gonna believe.
Speaker 10 (37:03):
We'll make it quick.
Speaker 9 (37:04):
Uh, with this little Kidsmore right here, I can stop trains, buses,
playing subways.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
There ain't nothing in this world.
Speaker 10 (37:09):
I can't stop here.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
What about your mouth?
Speaker 13 (37:11):
I gotta pour my joga drink?
Speaker 10 (37:14):
Watch this all right?
Speaker 9 (37:18):
Now, I'll move your beer over him and put yours
in front of him.
Speaker 8 (37:27):
See how about if I undo your tie like this?
Speaker 6 (37:30):
Huh ah, Hi Joe over there? Hey, why look, Joe,
where's your glass now? Huh You're gonna be pouring beer.
Speaker 11 (37:36):
In your hand?
Speaker 9 (37:37):
Hah All right, okay, here we go again.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Oh what well? Huh?
Speaker 8 (37:47):
Well, come on now, what do you think about that?
Speaker 6 (37:50):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (37:50):
Think about what?
Speaker 6 (37:52):
What are you kidding?
Speaker 11 (37:53):
You didn't see what I just did?
Speaker 10 (37:55):
Out of the way, mcmobe.
Speaker 12 (37:56):
I want to make it home by the bottom of
the eighth, see.
Speaker 13 (37:58):
You, Joe, Well you've done it again. Mcmilty. You emptied
my bar.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
You drive more people out of saloons and Carrie Nation.
Speaker 10 (38:09):
Oh I get it. Of course you couldn't see what happened.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
Of course you couldn't. How could you? You guys got froze.
Speaker 8 (38:16):
I'm the only one who sees what's going on, the
only one see So I've got the greatest conversation piece
in the world the greatest.
Speaker 10 (38:24):
And what does it do?
Speaker 8 (38:25):
It stops conversation.
Speaker 13 (38:27):
Well, so it shouldn't be a total loss. You should
order up, but drink it fast, will you?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
The combination of you, the hot weather, and my business
recession is more than I can take for one day.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
Hey, Paluci, look at me?
Speaker 13 (38:40):
What are you? Some kind of sadist?
Speaker 6 (38:42):
Do you know what you're looking at?
Speaker 13 (38:43):
A jerk?
Speaker 9 (38:44):
A jerk, I'm telling you, a jerk, A Nazi, that's
what you're looking at.
Speaker 13 (38:47):
You want to stop there or go for a double
or nothing?
Speaker 9 (38:50):
It's a fat What do I want this thing for?
I want to get a little notice, that's what. Well,
let me tell you something, Pollucci.
Speaker 10 (38:56):
When John D.
Speaker 8 (38:57):
Rockefeller got out of a car, why did.
Speaker 10 (38:58):
People go off to shake his hand?
Speaker 13 (39:00):
I'll bite why?
Speaker 8 (39:01):
Because he had do That's why. Let us the old miszou.
Speaker 9 (39:06):
JP Morgan walks into a bar, the headwaiter almost breaks
his neck trying to.
Speaker 10 (39:09):
Get a table ready.
Speaker 8 (39:10):
Why, I'll tell you why. Because JP Morgan was loaded.
Speaker 9 (39:14):
You think about that now, and you think about this
as of today, McNulty's gonna be loaded too.
Speaker 8 (39:21):
I'm gonna have a limousine drive me up here. I'm
gonna have a show for open the door. I'm gonna
walk into this crummy.
Speaker 9 (39:27):
Joining yours and buy about eighteen rounds for everyone.
Speaker 8 (39:30):
Eh, eh, And then and then, just for a while,
I'll buy a mortgage.
Speaker 13 (39:34):
You don't mind if I don't hold my bread, do you? McNulty?
Speaker 6 (39:37):
Poluchi, old pal take a good long look.
Speaker 8 (39:39):
The next time you see me, i'll be the new McNulty.
Speaker 13 (39:43):
Why didn't you go the whole route and move to Honolulu?
Speaker 6 (39:45):
Paluchi?
Speaker 8 (39:46):
Tonight i'll be able to buy Honolulu.
Speaker 10 (40:00):
I'd like to make.
Speaker 6 (40:01):
A deposit to my account. You'll have to wait in line.
Speaker 13 (40:04):
I want to cash this check. All in large bills, man,
next customer in line?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
Is this where I make a withdrawal?
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yes, sir, how much would you like?
Speaker 13 (40:14):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (40:14):
I don't know how much you got, sir.
Speaker 6 (40:16):
I'll take small bills, lots of them.
Speaker 10 (40:18):
Just need your bank account number right here? Oh you
want me to get him for you?
Speaker 6 (40:25):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (40:25):
Sure, no problem. Well let's see. Oh a bag of five.
Speaker 9 (40:34):
And some tens and some twenties while I'm at it. Yeah,
let's see that out to do it.
Speaker 6 (40:48):
Oh, don't worry, folks, it's only money.
Speaker 8 (40:52):
It grows on trees. That's what it does, right, It
grows on trees for me.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
I might have to make a couple of trips though.
Speaker 9 (41:06):
Okay, here we go one, two, three?
Speaker 10 (41:14):
My watch?
Speaker 9 (41:19):
Oh well it better be shock proof.
Speaker 10 (41:24):
Hey, hey, start already? Come on?
Speaker 6 (41:28):
What's the matter with this thing? Hey?
Speaker 9 (41:32):
Hey, everybody can start moving again?
Speaker 23 (41:34):
Okay, all right, come on, come on here we go, up, up, up, up,
come on.
Speaker 8 (41:37):
Let's go, come on, go with it.
Speaker 23 (41:43):
Hey, Hey, yuh.
Speaker 6 (41:45):
Any anybody know how to fix a watch?
Speaker 11 (41:48):
Come on?
Speaker 23 (41:48):
Come on, anybody, anybody give you a little help here? Hey, hey, hey, everybody,
it's me.
Speaker 8 (42:02):
Make nothing. Hey, Angie as you were?
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Are you?
Speaker 10 (42:07):
Come on?
Speaker 6 (42:08):
Come on, you guys, you can you can wake up now?
All right, it's it's it's just this little switch here,
seez I get this thing fixed. It's no sweat.
Speaker 10 (42:20):
Okay, where's mister Cooper. He'll know what to do.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
Oh excuse me, mister Cooper?
Speaker 10 (42:27):
Is hey what she's doing?
Speaker 6 (42:29):
Still sitting on your lap? I thought that was yesterday.
Speaker 8 (42:39):
Joe, Joe, please please do something, say something? Go ahead,
you know it'sulth me?
Speaker 6 (42:45):
Please?
Speaker 8 (42:46):
Please won't somebody do something.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
Or say something? Hey?
Speaker 22 (42:50):
Please?
Speaker 11 (42:52):
Don't anybody?
Speaker 8 (42:53):
Don't anybody know where I can get a watch fixed.
Speaker 11 (42:55):
I'm begging you, please.
Speaker 25 (43:02):
Hey, anybody, please please do something, Say something.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Mister Patrick Thomas McNulty, who was given the gift of
unlimited time, he used it and misused it, and now
he's been handed the bill, mister mcnelty, who now controls
the earth and everything on it. From this point on,
he will eat well, live well, and have everything at
his beck and call. But the thing he wanted most,
(43:46):
the thing that gave him the most acute hunger, his
need for a sympathetic ear. This he will never have again.
Tonight's Tale of Motion and the Lack thereof and a
man named mcnelty in a plays called the Twilight Zone.
Speaker 12 (44:12):
We'll be back to the Twilight Zone in just a moment.
Speaker 24 (44:16):
You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not
only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey
into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone. Hi,
this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to take a moment
to tell you about our Twilight Zone website at twilight
Zone Radio dot com. At twilight Zone Radio dot com
(44:37):
you'll find the latest information on these Twilight Zone Radio dramas,
including behind the scenes photographs, plus the newest product releases,
trivia contests, ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone related
info and merchandise, plus links to other fascinating websites. So
make your next stop twilight Zone Radio dot com.
Speaker 17 (44:56):
Visit twilight Zone Radio dot com to purchase these twilights
Own radio dramas on cassette and CD, or call toll
free one eight six six nine eight nine Zone That's
one eight six six nine eight nine nine six six three.
Speaker 12 (45:22):
A kind of stopwatch starring lou Diamond Phillips with Stacy
Keach as your narrator, was adapted for radio by Dennis
Etchison and based on a script by Rod Serling. Heard
in the cast were Rick Peoples, Mike Baccarella, Guy Burrill,
Meg Falcon, Maggie Carney, Rich Kamenik, Doug James, Carla Maari,
Roger Wolfski, and Irene Olsen. To learn more about the
(45:44):
Twilight Zone radio dramas and to obtain audio cassettes and
CDs of these programs, visit our website at twilight Zone
Radio dot com. The producers of the twilight Zone wish
to thank CBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison, Dick Bresh Associates,
Claire Simon Casting, Terry Jennings EXIM Satellite Radio, the American
(46:06):
Forces Radio and Television Service, Serious Satellite Radio, Our sponsors
and our radio affiliates for helping make this series possible.
This copyrighted radio series is produced and directed by Carl
Lamari and Roger Wolsky for Falcon Picture Group. Doug James
Peaking
You unlocked this door with the key of imagination. Beyond
it is another dimension, a dimension of sound, a dimension
of sight, a dimension of mind. You're moving into a
land of both shadow and substance of things and ideas.
You've just crossed over into the twilight zone.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Cooper Corporation, How may I direct your call just a moment?
Cooper Corporation.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
Coffee coming through.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
Ordered coffee with seven two cranes right here, Thanks Louie.
Speaker 5 (00:57):
You got it.
Speaker 6 (00:58):
Coffee here?
Speaker 7 (01:01):
Do you have any Danish this morning?
Speaker 5 (01:04):
I got Brand muffins, granola bars and trail mix.
Speaker 6 (01:06):
Oh no, what happened to the Danish?
Speaker 5 (01:09):
Mister Cooper's artist, Mister Cooper, how come he's on a
health kick? Says Danish is bad for you, for the
whole office, everybody on the floor. He wants more work
out of you.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh well, I suppose I'll have one of those granola bars.
Speaker 8 (01:24):
Is it chocolate coated k rib?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Sounds positively yummy. I guess I'll give it a try.
Speaker 9 (01:34):
Hey, that's wrong, you know what day is mcnaughthee Well,
the pastries are bad for the brain, Truther, mostly sugar
and starch, and so are muffins.
Speaker 6 (01:41):
Huh.
Speaker 8 (01:43):
Granola bars. Granola bars have as much fat as thirteen
strips of bacon?
Speaker 6 (01:46):
Did you know that?
Speaker 8 (01:48):
And trail mix forget it?
Speaker 10 (01:51):
Forget it.
Speaker 9 (01:52):
There's so many calories and century the fast you might
as well eat a tub of popcorn.
Speaker 8 (01:55):
Huh with butter?
Speaker 6 (01:59):
Well, mister Cooper wants to improve productivity.
Speaker 5 (02:02):
All I know is I got coffee with cream, cream
and sugar, cream by itself, sugar by itself or artificial sweetener,
and that old favorite all black.
Speaker 8 (02:11):
Take your pick, ah, dear versification.
Speaker 10 (02:14):
Now you you're on the right track.
Speaker 6 (02:17):
As I always say, you can't run a business standing still.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
A business has got to move. A business has got
to progress.
Speaker 6 (02:23):
You think about that now.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
Excuse me.
Speaker 5 (02:25):
I gotta progress through the.
Speaker 6 (02:26):
Office, so do I?
Speaker 10 (02:28):
We all do.
Speaker 9 (02:29):
A business has got to keep pushing, keep punching, keep priding,
keep moving forward.
Speaker 6 (02:33):
That's what a business has gotta do.
Speaker 10 (02:35):
You think about that?
Speaker 11 (02:37):
Personally?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
I gotta get a drink of water.
Speaker 6 (02:42):
You coming get ruth?
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
Yeah, I mean I think I better go with you.
Speaker 10 (02:48):
Sounds good?
Speaker 6 (02:49):
Think come along too? Hey, did you know that water
is the most important part of a healthy guy? We're
almost all water, I mean.
Speaker 9 (02:57):
Ourselves feet off of it right, Hey, you see the
suggestion box on the wall. I personally told mister Cooper
to get better quality bottle water.
Speaker 11 (03:06):
Huh huh.
Speaker 6 (03:07):
But the chemicals they put in it these days. I mean,
think about it now. It's a disgrace not to.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Mention submitted for your approval, or at least your analysis.
One Patrick Thomas mcnufty, who, at age forty one, is
the biggest bore on earth. He holds a ten year
record for the most meaningless words spewed out during a
(03:35):
typical coffee break. And it's very likely that as of
this moment he would have gone on through life in
precisely the same manner, a dull, argumentative big mouth who
sets back the art of conversation at least a thousand years.
I say he very likely would have except for something
that will soon happen to him, something totally unexpected that
(03:58):
will considerably alter his existence and ours. You think about
that now, because this is, after all the Twilight.
Speaker 12 (04:08):
Zone, and now the Twilight Zone and our story a
kind of stopwatch starring lou Diamond Phillips with Stacy Keach
as your narrator.
Speaker 9 (04:39):
God gown, you can taste the impurities we need clean
air too. Helpa Filter's air ion eyes was a whole bit. Ah,
you know, and these rooms need a new paint job
while they're at it, you know, I mean a nice
soothing collar.
Speaker 13 (04:51):
Come on, Angie, let's go to the powder room.
Speaker 9 (04:54):
Yeah, I'm with you, because we've got to keep this
company on track.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
You think about it now, we well, McNulty right here,
mister Cooper would like to see you.
Speaker 13 (05:06):
Well what.
Speaker 6 (05:09):
You hear that?
Speaker 9 (05:10):
Everybody, mister Cooper would like to see McNulty.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
And all because of that box right there.
Speaker 9 (05:21):
You know one mister Cooper wants to see McNulty because
McNaughty has been feeding him suggestions that box for eleven months.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
Now did I see suggestions?
Speaker 9 (05:31):
Wrong word suggestions any clode can give, but dynamic blueprints
for the future only McNaughty can give.
Speaker 6 (05:42):
He you just think about that.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Mister Cooper's waiting, mister McNulty.
Speaker 6 (05:49):
I don't suppose you'd be free for dinner, wouldn't you?
Speaker 13 (05:52):
Huh?
Speaker 9 (05:53):
I was thinking we could, you know, nine and some cozy,
little out of the way place.
Speaker 14 (05:58):
Nice and internet and no maybe I trip the light.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Fantastic if I were starving to death and you were
the last man on Earth, and it meant whether I
live or die. I might be, but I'm not. You're not,
and it doesn't. So buzz off buster.
Speaker 15 (06:17):
In here MacNulty.
Speaker 10 (06:20):
Bye, mister Cooper.
Speaker 5 (06:26):
Do you know what I've been doing for the last
half hour?
Speaker 9 (06:29):
You've been looking through the suggestion box. I knew it
was gonna happen one of these days. Mister Cooper had
been expecting it.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
You see.
Speaker 9 (06:37):
The thing of it is it takes a very special
kind of employer to recognize that one of his men
has got it.
Speaker 6 (06:44):
And obviously MacNulty does.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
Truer words McNulty have probably never been spoken here or
anywhere else. You've just gone through the residue of the
suggestion box covering the past three month period.
Speaker 13 (06:58):
Here is your suggestion.
Speaker 5 (06:59):
D Did March thirteenth make hot dogs flats so they
can fit more easily into a hamburger?
Speaker 15 (07:06):
Bud?
Speaker 6 (07:06):
Well, how about that?
Speaker 13 (07:08):
Now?
Speaker 10 (07:08):
You think about that, now, mister Cooper.
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Make tin cans square so they can be stacked together
more easily.
Speaker 9 (07:17):
Well, huh, isn't that a gas?
Speaker 10 (07:20):
You think about that too.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Put small pontoons in field packs of soldiers so that
when they crossed rivers they can.
Speaker 9 (07:30):
Float that's worth a million bucks as it stands. Huh,
I mean that want little suggestion. You see the soldiers,
they go into the water in the cans, wild cans,
they're full of air season.
Speaker 5 (07:39):
Mister mcnughty. The Cooper Corporation makes Ladies Foundation garments. That
has nothing whatsoever to do with Hamburgers, hot dogs, tin cans,
or national defense. Not a single one of your three
hundred and forty suggestions, repeat, not one of them has
anything remotely to do with this company's product.
Speaker 8 (08:00):
Right see.
Speaker 6 (08:02):
I wanted to talk to you about that too.
Speaker 9 (08:05):
What you ought to do is focus on new inventions
for our customers.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
Our customers.
Speaker 9 (08:13):
Well, I've been doing some reading about pressure and leverage,
the principles of engineering, and one of the greatest engineers
of the twentieth century was Howard Hughes. Why did you
know that he invented the cantilever brazier. He invented an
under government that I actually defied the laws of gravity. Huh,
like a suspension bridge. And if it weren't for his
(08:34):
little invention, nobody would have ever heard of.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
Jane Russell. Did you know that?
Speaker 5 (08:43):
I believe this company is well aware of the history
of our product lines, and they don't have anything to
do with nineteen forties movie stars or eccentric recloses with
mental delusions.
Speaker 8 (08:55):
Exactly.
Speaker 9 (08:57):
The key to a successful business is dev pasification, more
products for more kinds of customers.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
Now you think about that.
Speaker 5 (09:08):
I have thought about it, McNulty.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
Now you think about this, Yes, sir, you're fired.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Another round McNulty and I'm still working on this one.
Speaker 13 (09:35):
Now overhead, Joe, i'ming right up.
Speaker 9 (09:38):
You know something, Here we go again with the long
ball hitter as opposed to the consistent clutch.
Speaker 10 (09:44):
Hitter with a big average.
Speaker 8 (09:46):
I will take the ladder.
Speaker 13 (09:49):
Well, that's very nice of you to tell us MacNulty.
Speaker 8 (09:52):
Well, it's a fact that at no time, at.
Speaker 9 (09:57):
No time has the home run leader in either league
the league in batting at no time, which should tell you.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Ted Williams won the batting Championship and led the league
in home runs in nineteen forty one, forty two, and
forty seven.
Speaker 9 (10:14):
The exception to the rule. Think about that, now, the
exception to the rule.
Speaker 12 (10:21):
You know something, My sister's got five kids.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
A six to four walk up A little bitty.
Speaker 12 (10:25):
TV said an air conditioner. But don't work, But I'll
tell you what else it don't have it, don't have
mcmaulty me, I'm.
Speaker 8 (10:33):
Out of here, like I was saying, the exception that
proves the rule.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Let me ask you something, macmulty. How come you're in
here so early tonight? You've been sitting here now for
three and a half hours.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
Well, for the simple reason that, Yeah.
Speaker 10 (10:54):
I quit my job, no kidding. Yeah, I went into.
Speaker 14 (10:57):
Mister Cooper's office and I read him off just like that.
Speaker 10 (11:01):
Yeah, Cooper, Ice said.
Speaker 13 (11:02):
Don't tell me mcmeelty, you got canned.
Speaker 9 (11:05):
Well, in a manner of speaking, you might say, well, yeah,
we mutually agreed that I wasn't gonna work there anymore.
Speaker 16 (11:18):
Let me ask you something, wouldn't wouldn't you think that
after one year of putting suggestions in the suggestion box,
after one whole year, I get noticed?
Speaker 13 (11:32):
Macmulty. You want to know something. Getting noticed and getting
liked are two different.
Speaker 6 (11:37):
Things, buddy, You know about it.
Speaker 13 (11:40):
Nothing mcmeelty, Not a thing.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
All I know is that every week of every month,
except election day, you come in here and drive everybody
out of their skull walking on your lower lip.
Speaker 13 (11:51):
Now you think about that little thing.
Speaker 10 (11:53):
Will you for my sake, where's my other beer?
Speaker 13 (11:59):
Right here?
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Thank you for keep.
Speaker 9 (12:03):
If you don't mind, I think I'll find myself a
nice quiet table to sit at. Goodbye, excuse me, my
good man?
Speaker 10 (12:18):
Is this seat taken?
Speaker 13 (12:20):
Is now?
Speaker 17 (12:21):
Sir?
Speaker 10 (12:23):
What do you say? Old time?
Speaker 15 (12:25):
I say fifty four forty your fight?
Speaker 4 (12:30):
I also say damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead,
and on occasion, on no occasion, I have been known
to say it takes a heap of living to make
a house a home.
Speaker 10 (12:45):
You want another one?
Speaker 13 (12:47):
Thank you?
Speaker 15 (12:49):
I would consider it the kindness on your part.
Speaker 6 (12:56):
He one more over here, please?
Speaker 10 (13:01):
So what's your name?
Speaker 13 (13:03):
What's my name?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
Potts? Pots? Potts.
Speaker 10 (13:07):
That's such a bad name.
Speaker 15 (13:09):
It is the one I was born with.
Speaker 9 (13:12):
Seems to me it was the third basement played for
the Phillies one year. It seems to me his name
was Potts. This seems lou Pots, Frank Pats? Could it
have been Bots?
Speaker 8 (13:22):
No?
Speaker 6 (13:23):
Pots?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
You paying MacNulty because this old rummy already gave me
his last dollar.
Speaker 9 (13:32):
This man is my friend, and I like a little
respect from you while you're at it.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
I bet you would, MacNulty, and you getting respect from
me would be about as easy as flagging down a
cab on forty six in Broadway at eight o'clock on
New Year's Eve in the rain.
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Here you go.
Speaker 9 (13:55):
So you want to talk about you wanna wanna talk
about baseball?
Speaker 6 (13:58):
Well it is.
Speaker 15 (14:00):
This is a great American pastime.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And I am so glad that Abner Doubleday saw fit
to invent it.
Speaker 6 (14:06):
To your health friend.
Speaker 15 (14:09):
And now, to show my appreciation for your generosity, I
have something for you. Consider it a gift, a small
remembrance of our friendship.
Speaker 6 (14:21):
Ah, what is it.
Speaker 15 (14:23):
It's an old family heirloom, a kind of stopwatch.
Speaker 6 (14:28):
You might say, what do you care around?
Speaker 10 (14:33):
I mean, you know, if it's just a stop warts,
it doesn't keep.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
Keep time right, that is a fact. But it's all yours.
Speaker 15 (14:44):
Nonetheless, someday you might own a racehorse, or you might
want to run the four minute mile.
Speaker 13 (14:51):
Who knows.
Speaker 15 (14:52):
Now you've got to stop watch to time yourself.
Speaker 13 (14:56):
I've been looking.
Speaker 15 (14:57):
For someone to give it to I myself.
Speaker 6 (15:00):
Them finally finished with it.
Speaker 15 (15:04):
Good bye, old pal.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
E bar of us on them. M hm, hey hey
you didn't finish sha beer?
Speaker 13 (15:25):
You done for the night?
Speaker 3 (15:27):
MacNulty, There ain't no more ears in here you can bend.
You bored ten people to death, and you emptied this
place faster than a smallpox sign.
Speaker 10 (15:38):
Fin out the watch anyway, I hate to go home, Joe.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
I mean, jeez, you know, I mean I already saw
the picture on the Late Show. I mean I even
saw the one on the Late Late Show.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Hey Macnaulty, do me a favor, would you? Whenever you
get the thirst go to some other bar?
Speaker 10 (16:07):
Sometimes? You know, I wish I was I was married, because.
Speaker 6 (16:11):
So I wouldn't have to go anywhere. You ever get
that feeling? Huh uh?
Speaker 10 (16:19):
Like this push my copy?
Speaker 13 (16:23):
And another thing about you, mcdulty.
Speaker 10 (16:25):
You make me nervous.
Speaker 13 (16:27):
First you come in here, and then.
Speaker 6 (16:30):
What what what's going on?
Speaker 8 (16:34):
Joey?
Speaker 6 (16:36):
Hey, hey, hey Joe, why ain't you moving?
Speaker 18 (16:41):
Joe?
Speaker 9 (16:42):
Joe, why don't you say something? I mean, I mean,
it's it's it's like he was was frozen.
Speaker 6 (16:55):
What's what's the TV?
Speaker 8 (16:56):
It was a game on?
Speaker 6 (16:57):
The guy started the pitching and.
Speaker 14 (17:02):
You look at that.
Speaker 10 (17:04):
Balls just hang in there?
Speaker 6 (17:06):
Did the TV freeze up or something?
Speaker 10 (17:11):
To say?
Speaker 13 (17:12):
What is this?
Speaker 6 (17:15):
Something was going on?
Speaker 9 (17:16):
All I was doing was tell you about how bored
I was, And then that crazy Gleat gives me this
watch here and I to push the button on.
Speaker 3 (17:21):
It like this, and you bore people to death, and
then you start to make me so nervous my packages.
Speaker 7 (17:27):
And.
Speaker 10 (17:33):
Hey, I gotta like this.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Furthermore, it's getting so people don't stay very long in
my establishment when you're around to catch my drift. They
stick the heads in, see you sitting here, and move on.
In other words, you're costing me business with nalty.
Speaker 13 (17:50):
Do I have to make it any plainer?
Speaker 3 (17:52):
So, like I say, take it somewhere else, Okay, pal,
it's nothing personal.
Speaker 10 (17:57):
I make you nervous.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You don't suppose.
Speaker 10 (18:02):
You don't suppose this watch here?
Speaker 13 (18:05):
You know something McNulty.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
You're the one guy who makes me wish they never
repealed prohibition.
Speaker 9 (18:10):
And you know what I think, Joe, I think this watch,
this watch, this watch is a very unusual one.
Speaker 10 (18:18):
That's what I think, A.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
Very very unusual watch.
Speaker 19 (18:24):
Ah, hey, body, just watch where you're going.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
Sorry, sorry, my goodness, yea excuse me begging your.
Speaker 7 (19:04):
Pardon, officer, officer, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 10 (19:11):
That man over there, I think he's drunk.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Oh he is.
Speaker 6 (19:15):
He bumped right into me.
Speaker 10 (19:17):
You can see the way he's staggering.
Speaker 6 (19:19):
He can hardly stand up.
Speaker 10 (19:20):
It's a disgrace.
Speaker 20 (19:23):
No, we'll just see about that. Helo on there, fella. Yes,
officer had a little too much to drink, did we.
Speaker 17 (19:31):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (19:32):
I wouldn't say that, not enough.
Speaker 20 (19:34):
It's more like, why don't you just go home and
sleep it off. You'll feel better in the morning.
Speaker 10 (19:40):
Yes, of course, of course, I'm on my way home now.
Speaker 20 (19:43):
As a matter of fact, walking I am, i'd say,
you're in no condition.
Speaker 6 (19:48):
You know you're You're right, officer, I was. I was
just thinking about that.
Speaker 7 (19:52):
Well, I'll get along with you.
Speaker 13 (19:53):
Now.
Speaker 10 (19:54):
Why shouldn't then have to walk at all?
Speaker 21 (19:56):
Right?
Speaker 6 (19:56):
He could fall out and get hurt.
Speaker 9 (19:58):
Now here's an idea for you. You make the sidewalks
out of rubber. Think about that now, no more injuries
you fall, you about right back and get all the
money the city could save, no more broken arms and
legs to fix, while the hospitals would save millions, not
(20:21):
to mention the the insurance companies.
Speaker 7 (20:25):
I think I better call you a cab.
Speaker 10 (20:27):
Okay, I'm a cab.
Speaker 6 (20:34):
You get it.
Speaker 9 (20:35):
You said I'll call you, and then I said, well,
no more kidding, no none at all.
Speaker 10 (20:41):
I don't I don't want a cab.
Speaker 9 (20:43):
In the first place, I never stopped for you, and
in the second place, it takes too long on account
it there's too much traffic in this city in the
first place.
Speaker 10 (20:51):
Am I right? Or am I wrong?
Speaker 6 (20:52):
You tell me that.
Speaker 7 (20:53):
I'm not telling you nothing, and I'll listen.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you know what they
are to do.
Speaker 10 (21:01):
Put in moving sidewalks.
Speaker 9 (21:04):
Ah, that way, all a man has to do is
standing in one place, not even us a single muscle,
and before you know it, he's home.
Speaker 10 (21:16):
You think about that.
Speaker 7 (21:17):
I'm serious. If you can't afford a cab, the subway
is right at the end of the block. Now run along.
Either that or I'll haul you in right now.
Speaker 10 (21:25):
On what charge, may I ask?
Speaker 20 (21:27):
Public intoxication. Plus, you're making a real nuisance of yourself.
Now quit flapping your lips and get a move on here.
Speaker 10 (21:35):
Of course I do, officer.
Speaker 9 (21:37):
I hear the wisdom of your words, and I have
enjoyed this conversation immensely.
Speaker 10 (21:45):
A good evening to you, sir. Just move along now, someway.
Speaker 9 (21:53):
Well, I guess it's an okay way to get around
for now. Of course, if anybody would listen to McNulty.
Speaker 13 (22:14):
Hurry up, will you?
Speaker 15 (22:15):
Hey?
Speaker 9 (22:15):
Hey, well, what's what's the matter with this turnstile? I'm
pushing but it doesn't turn.
Speaker 6 (22:20):
You gotta put a token in? Oh, yes, of course? Next?
How many?
Speaker 10 (22:32):
What?
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Oh? Uh?
Speaker 10 (22:34):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (22:35):
Just one? One token?
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Where's your money?
Speaker 10 (22:38):
I I don't have any small bills.
Speaker 6 (22:41):
No money, no token, but I have to get home.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Well, don't go trying to jump the gate, or the
guard will find you a good next.
Speaker 6 (22:51):
Come on, buddy, next.
Speaker 10 (22:53):
Can't you just wait?
Speaker 11 (22:55):
You over and dick and token off the top of
that stick and hand it to me.
Speaker 14 (23:00):
See, nobody will notice he's just a swatch.
Speaker 13 (23:03):
What's with that guy?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Of all the nerve?
Speaker 15 (23:06):
I think there's something wrong with him?
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Next person in line?
Speaker 6 (23:10):
Wait?
Speaker 10 (23:10):
Uh?
Speaker 9 (23:12):
In that case, I may have a solution to this,
this little dog, this little impasse.
Speaker 6 (23:19):
Holrighto, will you?
Speaker 10 (23:21):
It's just this switch here on.
Speaker 19 (23:23):
Top of for crying all out?
Speaker 6 (23:25):
Now he's set in his watch.
Speaker 18 (23:27):
Yes, he sees this is the button I pushed before. Ah, not, well.
Speaker 13 (23:41):
What do you know?
Speaker 6 (23:43):
Looks like I don't need a talking to get through
the gate. After all. I'll just climb over right under
your nose.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Mister security guard. And when I'm safely aboard my train.
Who wait, wait a minute, Oh no, no, no, why
take the train at all? Why when there are other
modes of transportation available, other much more comfortable kinds.
Speaker 10 (24:26):
Now, I'll just click this up watch one more time.
And I have to do is wait? Did I see
what I'm looking for?
Speaker 7 (24:38):
You again? I thought he was getting on the subway.
Speaker 10 (24:41):
Oh I was off, Sure I was, but you know
he's as much too crowded. I decided to take a
cab after all.
Speaker 7 (24:48):
What are you trying to pull?
Speaker 13 (24:50):
Why?
Speaker 9 (24:50):
Nothing, officer, huh, It's just that I thought of another
way to get home.
Speaker 7 (24:56):
You even got enough money for a cab? What did
you drink it?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
All?
Speaker 10 (25:00):
Money?
Speaker 6 (25:02):
What an old fashioned concept?
Speaker 9 (25:04):
I don't really think that's necessary now, No, not necessary
at all. No, no, not as long as I can
stop a cab. Of course, that's hard to do on
a corner like this.
Speaker 7 (25:13):
Let's go. I think I better take it down to
the station office.
Speaker 6 (25:16):
But why bother?
Speaker 13 (25:17):
Huh?
Speaker 10 (25:17):
I mean, you know, as long as I can hail
a cab.
Speaker 6 (25:19):
Let me let me.
Speaker 10 (25:20):
Show you Macnalty's method.
Speaker 6 (25:22):
You watch and you think about it, now.
Speaker 22 (25:24):
Okay, tasy.
Speaker 6 (25:32):
There?
Speaker 9 (25:33):
Yeah, I think I can see a cab now, that
one in the middle of the street.
Speaker 10 (25:40):
How nice of the driver to stop just for me.
Hell there, driver, what not speaking?
Speaker 9 (25:56):
Huh well, let me see what I can do to
fix that.
Speaker 13 (26:02):
Well, hey, who are you? How'd you get in my car?
Speaker 11 (26:05):
Never mind, I'm here now, aren't I?
Speaker 13 (26:08):
Okay? Okay, we're to home.
Speaker 6 (26:10):
Driver, Take me downtown by the shortest possible route.
Speaker 10 (26:14):
And you think.
Speaker 6 (26:15):
About it now, sure thing? Hey, hey, hey, hey, have
you ever thought about this?
Speaker 9 (26:29):
Ban cars completely, you know, in in the in the city,
at least for starters helicopters.
Speaker 10 (26:35):
Now that's the future. Your private cultures.
Speaker 9 (26:37):
Are okay, each one big enough to hold one person.
Speaker 10 (26:42):
You think about the savings in in gas.
Speaker 6 (26:45):
Pollution and traffick. You have not to mention police metamates
and no parking.
Speaker 15 (26:48):
Zones anything, you say, buddy, yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:50):
Yeah, you see, you see all you all you do
is you take some electric golf cars and you're retrofitting
with propellers on top, and you plug them in and
you charge them up and there you go.
Speaker 6 (27:09):
Now you think about what I said.
Speaker 9 (27:10):
Now, the only way to make a really comfortable car
seat is to build it horizontal like those What do
you call them a luge guys in the Olympics, right right, eh?
See that way you just lie down and you still
looking into a mirror, the same as that periscope. You
(27:32):
think how low to the ground all the cars would be.
It's a better center of gravity, it's much better. Plus
you can see across the street without having a strain
in your neck. And when it comes to getting out,
you know, all you do is you roll like in
your bed right now. That would be a big improvement.
Speaker 7 (27:50):
This here is it?
Speaker 5 (27:51):
Mister fire as I go, I think you're gonna pack
it in for the night.
Speaker 10 (27:57):
Thank you, my good man.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
That's seventeen eighty.
Speaker 6 (28:00):
How's that the fair?
Speaker 5 (28:02):
Make it eighteen bucks plus something for the wife and kids?
Speaker 10 (28:05):
Now, you see, that's just my point.
Speaker 6 (28:07):
All that money, and for what I say, banned the
internal combustion engine. Springboard shoes would work just fine. All
we need is a company, the manufacturer prototype.
Speaker 5 (28:15):
You're gonna pay me or talk me to death?
Speaker 6 (28:18):
Neither I tell you that she do?
Speaker 10 (28:22):
Do you have the time? The time?
Speaker 6 (28:27):
Here?
Speaker 10 (28:29):
Let's have a look at my pocket watch.
Speaker 6 (28:31):
Shally Have I told you about it?
Speaker 21 (28:33):
Yea?
Speaker 9 (28:33):
This is really very unusual. Watch it kind of stop watch. Literally,
allow me to demonstrate.
Speaker 4 (28:45):
Don't try to con me.
Speaker 13 (28:47):
All I want is for you to pay up.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
If you don't, I'm calling this sin.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
It's a violation of the city code.
Speaker 13 (28:52):
The defrauded.
Speaker 6 (28:54):
There isn't that better?
Speaker 10 (28:57):
So much more RESTful? I think I'll go inside. I
don't lie down.
Speaker 6 (29:09):
No, no, no, no, don't. Don't you worry about it.
Speaker 9 (29:11):
As soon as I get to my apartment, I'll open
the window and hit the button on this stopwatch again,
and you'll be on your way and.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Tomorrow morning, so will I.
Speaker 9 (29:22):
In fact, from the way things are going so far,
I say that your friend and mine, the one and
only Patrick T. Macnaulty, is going to be the life
of the party. You be sure to think about that, now,
won't you stand back?
Speaker 22 (29:38):
World macnaulty is walking through the universe.
Speaker 10 (29:52):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 6 (30:10):
The good good morning to your listeners. We'll be bringing
you the eye of all news at seven twenty seven.
Speaker 10 (30:16):
Forgot to turn the blast and alarm off?
Speaker 6 (30:18):
Well for now, here's an update from weather Central. Some
overcast this morning, was scattered cloud this afternoon. And now
back to this morning's casual concert.
Speaker 21 (30:26):
With us swigging said, ain't wrong there is nothing moderate
about today, because today is the day that people start
listening to mcmilty.
Speaker 10 (30:38):
Unless, unless it was some kind of dream. Now, where
is that crazy? Watch a half here? All right? Now,
let's give it the old test.
Speaker 9 (30:57):
Ah, my kind of town, millions of people going to work,
no imagination. But mcmelty, now that's a different story. A
man who's just full of ideas, so original. They don't
have a word for him yet.
Speaker 13 (31:12):
But they will.
Speaker 10 (31:15):
If this thing works. Well, here goes.
Speaker 8 (31:24):
It's not a dream, it's not a dream.
Speaker 21 (31:26):
It's the Cuds, the real deal, this wonderful, gordgeous watch.
Speaker 10 (31:32):
I just push the button and everything stops.
Speaker 23 (31:38):
I need everything, The whole world stops for me. Eh
get ready there neck note they steps up to the plate.
Speaker 22 (31:57):
He swings and there's lots of clean out of the park.
Speaker 17 (32:12):
Oh no, not McNulty again, what's doing You's.
Speaker 10 (32:16):
Gonna shoot up the place.
Speaker 6 (32:17):
Good morning, Angie MacNulty.
Speaker 10 (32:20):
You look lovely this morning, as always.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Wants a suggestion this time because if you haven't got one, handy,
I've got one for you.
Speaker 9 (32:30):
Yes, why don't you jump off a bridge?
Speaker 6 (32:36):
Honey baby, you don't mean that. Wait, do you see
what I got in my packet.
Speaker 10 (32:42):
It'll put a dad in your eyeballs.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Try the Brooklyn Bridge at midnight.
Speaker 10 (32:48):
You think about this.
Speaker 9 (32:49):
Now, you think about a stopwatch that if somebody pushes it,
everything stops in midy or everything?
Speaker 10 (32:58):
Eh? Eh, they about that.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Without a life jacket. McNulty, Why don't you get lost?
Speaker 10 (33:06):
What's the point? You see this little gimmy.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
It's a watch.
Speaker 9 (33:10):
So so last nine, I'm sitting in Joe.
Speaker 6 (33:13):
Palucci's bar, figures, we're.
Speaker 9 (33:16):
Talking about this and that, and this funny little leap
comes in and gives me this watch without thinking about it,
and I gave it a push. This little button ran
here and everything stops dead. Polucci stops, the ballgame stops,
you know what else? Everything that's what stops. You think
about that?
Speaker 2 (33:33):
No kidding, Joe Palucci and the TV too, well, thanks
for the entertainment. Now get out of here.
Speaker 9 (33:41):
After I see Cooper, it's time to diversify.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Now you wait just a minute, McNulty.
Speaker 8 (33:48):
Mister Cooper's in conference.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
You bet he is.
Speaker 10 (33:51):
He's in conference with me.
Speaker 7 (33:54):
I thought I fired you.
Speaker 5 (33:56):
McNulty. What are you doing back here?
Speaker 6 (33:59):
Mister Cooper barged right in.
Speaker 8 (34:01):
I couldn't do anything about it.
Speaker 5 (34:02):
Well, if he barged right in here, bards right out again.
Speaker 9 (34:05):
Hey, listen, Coop, Coop, you can't afford to fire me
this time.
Speaker 10 (34:12):
I got more than a suggestion.
Speaker 8 (34:14):
I got the goods, You figured out how this little
do hickey works, and you got yourself all the money
in the world.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Mcnothy. Once more, I remind you we make ladies foundations,
nothing else.
Speaker 3 (34:28):
Did you hear me?
Speaker 4 (34:30):
Nothing else?
Speaker 5 (34:31):
Now I'll give you fifteen seconds to leave this room,
twenty five seconds to reach the elevator, forty five seconds
to vacate the building, and you may use that watch
to time yourself is in fact.
Speaker 10 (34:44):
All right, then I'll go.
Speaker 11 (34:47):
Just remember you lost a fortune today why they gleaped?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
And even let me show him McNulty. If you're not
out of here in one minute, I'll call the police.
Speaker 6 (35:05):
So what am I waiting for?
Speaker 10 (35:08):
I'll show him anyway.
Speaker 8 (35:09):
I'll show you all.
Speaker 2 (35:13):
Hello, operator, get me.
Speaker 6 (35:18):
Now, you put that phone down and come with me.
That's right in here.
Speaker 10 (35:27):
Right on Cooper's lap. How about that.
Speaker 9 (35:34):
Nice coffee right in the middle of porn and huh.
Speaker 8 (35:39):
And you a sweetheart?
Speaker 6 (35:41):
I like your typing.
Speaker 8 (35:42):
Don't your hands get tired up in the air like that.
Speaker 24 (35:44):
Eh.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
That so it's good for a laugh.
Speaker 14 (35:51):
Maybe there must be something else I can do with
this thing.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
Wow, what do you think you're going?
Speaker 10 (36:16):
Who's up next?
Speaker 13 (36:17):
Don't look now? It is the cleanup man.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
The guy could empty a baseball stadium, not to mention
a bar. If you don't spend three hours telling us
how he'd run the Mets, he'll keep ootsing me about
how I should run my own place.
Speaker 6 (36:32):
Hey, Joe, Hey, you want to hear a good idea.
Why don't you make a swinging door like in the movies.
I'm nevy changed the name of the place Pluchi's Western Saloon. Hey,
how about that?
Speaker 3 (36:40):
Hey mcnelty, how about that. I'll have it done first
thing in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:44):
Ah, that's great.
Speaker 9 (36:45):
Then every time I come in, I'll push open a
swinging door and I'll think I did this.
Speaker 10 (36:50):
Wait, well, you know put me on, are you, Joe McNulty.
Speaker 3 (36:53):
The only thing I'd put you on as a slow
freighter heading with the other side of the world.
Speaker 9 (36:57):
See you, Joe?
Speaker 7 (36:58):
Yeah, I'm out of here.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
Boys, you're about to see something you ain't gonna believe.
Speaker 10 (37:03):
We'll make it quick.
Speaker 9 (37:04):
Uh, with this little Kidsmore right here, I can stop trains, buses,
playing subways.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
There ain't nothing in this world.
Speaker 10 (37:09):
I can't stop here.
Speaker 5 (37:10):
What about your mouth?
Speaker 13 (37:11):
I gotta pour my joga drink?
Speaker 10 (37:14):
Watch this all right?
Speaker 9 (37:18):
Now, I'll move your beer over him and put yours
in front of him.
Speaker 8 (37:27):
See how about if I undo your tie like this?
Speaker 6 (37:30):
Huh ah, Hi Joe over there? Hey, why look, Joe,
where's your glass now? Huh You're gonna be pouring beer.
Speaker 11 (37:36):
In your hand?
Speaker 9 (37:37):
Hah All right, okay, here we go again.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Oh what well? Huh?
Speaker 8 (37:47):
Well, come on now, what do you think about that?
Speaker 6 (37:50):
Huh?
Speaker 8 (37:50):
Think about what?
Speaker 6 (37:52):
What are you kidding?
Speaker 11 (37:53):
You didn't see what I just did?
Speaker 10 (37:55):
Out of the way, mcmobe.
Speaker 12 (37:56):
I want to make it home by the bottom of
the eighth, see.
Speaker 13 (37:58):
You, Joe, Well you've done it again. Mcmilty. You emptied
my bar.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
You drive more people out of saloons and Carrie Nation.
Speaker 10 (38:09):
Oh I get it. Of course you couldn't see what happened.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
Of course you couldn't. How could you? You guys got froze.
Speaker 8 (38:16):
I'm the only one who sees what's going on, the
only one see So I've got the greatest conversation piece
in the world the greatest.
Speaker 10 (38:24):
And what does it do?
Speaker 8 (38:25):
It stops conversation.
Speaker 13 (38:27):
Well, so it shouldn't be a total loss. You should
order up, but drink it fast, will you?
Speaker 3 (38:33):
The combination of you, the hot weather, and my business
recession is more than I can take for one day.
Speaker 6 (38:38):
Hey, Paluci, look at me?
Speaker 13 (38:40):
What are you? Some kind of sadist?
Speaker 6 (38:42):
Do you know what you're looking at?
Speaker 13 (38:43):
A jerk?
Speaker 9 (38:44):
A jerk, I'm telling you, a jerk, A Nazi, that's
what you're looking at.
Speaker 13 (38:47):
You want to stop there or go for a double
or nothing?
Speaker 9 (38:50):
It's a fat What do I want this thing for?
I want to get a little notice, that's what. Well,
let me tell you something, Pollucci.
Speaker 10 (38:56):
When John D.
Speaker 8 (38:57):
Rockefeller got out of a car, why did.
Speaker 10 (38:58):
People go off to shake his hand?
Speaker 13 (39:00):
I'll bite why?
Speaker 8 (39:01):
Because he had do That's why. Let us the old miszou.
Speaker 9 (39:06):
JP Morgan walks into a bar, the headwaiter almost breaks
his neck trying to.
Speaker 10 (39:09):
Get a table ready.
Speaker 8 (39:10):
Why, I'll tell you why. Because JP Morgan was loaded.
Speaker 9 (39:14):
You think about that now, and you think about this
as of today, McNulty's gonna be loaded too.
Speaker 8 (39:21):
I'm gonna have a limousine drive me up here. I'm
gonna have a show for open the door. I'm gonna
walk into this crummy.
Speaker 9 (39:27):
Joining yours and buy about eighteen rounds for everyone.
Speaker 8 (39:30):
Eh, eh, And then and then, just for a while,
I'll buy a mortgage.
Speaker 13 (39:34):
You don't mind if I don't hold my bread, do you? McNulty?
Speaker 6 (39:37):
Poluchi, old pal take a good long look.
Speaker 8 (39:39):
The next time you see me, i'll be the new McNulty.
Speaker 13 (39:43):
Why didn't you go the whole route and move to Honolulu?
Speaker 6 (39:45):
Paluchi?
Speaker 8 (39:46):
Tonight i'll be able to buy Honolulu.
Speaker 10 (40:00):
I'd like to make.
Speaker 6 (40:01):
A deposit to my account. You'll have to wait in line.
Speaker 13 (40:04):
I want to cash this check. All in large bills, man,
next customer in line?
Speaker 6 (40:10):
Is this where I make a withdrawal?
Speaker 2 (40:12):
Yes, sir, how much would you like?
Speaker 13 (40:14):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (40:14):
I don't know how much you got, sir.
Speaker 6 (40:16):
I'll take small bills, lots of them.
Speaker 10 (40:18):
Just need your bank account number right here? Oh you
want me to get him for you?
Speaker 6 (40:25):
Oh?
Speaker 10 (40:25):
Sure, no problem. Well let's see. Oh a bag of five.
Speaker 9 (40:34):
And some tens and some twenties while I'm at it. Yeah,
let's see that out to do it.
Speaker 6 (40:48):
Oh, don't worry, folks, it's only money.
Speaker 8 (40:52):
It grows on trees. That's what it does, right, It
grows on trees for me.
Speaker 6 (41:03):
I might have to make a couple of trips though.
Speaker 9 (41:06):
Okay, here we go one, two, three?
Speaker 10 (41:14):
My watch?
Speaker 9 (41:19):
Oh well it better be shock proof.
Speaker 10 (41:24):
Hey, hey, start already? Come on?
Speaker 6 (41:28):
What's the matter with this thing? Hey?
Speaker 9 (41:32):
Hey, everybody can start moving again?
Speaker 23 (41:34):
Okay, all right, come on, come on here we go, up, up, up, up,
come on.
Speaker 8 (41:37):
Let's go, come on, go with it.
Speaker 23 (41:43):
Hey, Hey, yuh.
Speaker 6 (41:45):
Any anybody know how to fix a watch?
Speaker 11 (41:48):
Come on?
Speaker 23 (41:48):
Come on, anybody, anybody give you a little help here? Hey, hey, hey, everybody,
it's me.
Speaker 8 (42:02):
Make nothing. Hey, Angie as you were?
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Are you?
Speaker 10 (42:07):
Come on?
Speaker 6 (42:08):
Come on, you guys, you can you can wake up now?
All right, it's it's it's just this little switch here,
seez I get this thing fixed. It's no sweat.
Speaker 10 (42:20):
Okay, where's mister Cooper. He'll know what to do.
Speaker 6 (42:25):
Oh excuse me, mister Cooper?
Speaker 10 (42:27):
Is hey what she's doing?
Speaker 6 (42:29):
Still sitting on your lap? I thought that was yesterday.
Speaker 8 (42:39):
Joe, Joe, please please do something, say something? Go ahead,
you know it'sulth me?
Speaker 6 (42:45):
Please?
Speaker 8 (42:46):
Please won't somebody do something.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
Or say something? Hey?
Speaker 22 (42:50):
Please?
Speaker 11 (42:52):
Don't anybody?
Speaker 8 (42:53):
Don't anybody know where I can get a watch fixed.
Speaker 11 (42:55):
I'm begging you, please.
Speaker 25 (43:02):
Hey, anybody, please please do something, Say something.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
Mister Patrick Thomas McNulty, who was given the gift of
unlimited time, he used it and misused it, and now
he's been handed the bill, mister mcnelty, who now controls
the earth and everything on it. From this point on,
he will eat well, live well, and have everything at
his beck and call. But the thing he wanted most,
(43:46):
the thing that gave him the most acute hunger, his
need for a sympathetic ear. This he will never have again.
Tonight's Tale of Motion and the Lack thereof and a
man named mcnelty in a plays called the Twilight Zone.
Speaker 12 (44:12):
We'll be back to the Twilight Zone in just a moment.
Speaker 24 (44:16):
You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not
only of sight and sound, but of mind, a journey
into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone. Hi,
this is Stacy Keach. I'd like to take a moment
to tell you about our Twilight Zone website at twilight
Zone Radio dot com. At twilight Zone Radio dot com
(44:37):
you'll find the latest information on these Twilight Zone Radio dramas,
including behind the scenes photographs, plus the newest product releases,
trivia contests, ways to contact us, other Twilight Zone related
info and merchandise, plus links to other fascinating websites. So
make your next stop twilight Zone Radio dot com.
Speaker 17 (44:56):
Visit twilight Zone Radio dot com to purchase these twilights
Own radio dramas on cassette and CD, or call toll
free one eight six six nine eight nine Zone That's
one eight six six nine eight nine nine six six three.
Speaker 12 (45:22):
A kind of stopwatch starring lou Diamond Phillips with Stacy
Keach as your narrator, was adapted for radio by Dennis
Etchison and based on a script by Rod Serling. Heard
in the cast were Rick Peoples, Mike Baccarella, Guy Burrill,
Meg Falcon, Maggie Carney, Rich Kamenik, Doug James, Carla Maari,
Roger Wolfski, and Irene Olsen. To learn more about the
(45:44):
Twilight Zone radio dramas and to obtain audio cassettes and
CDs of these programs, visit our website at twilight Zone
Radio dot com. The producers of the twilight Zone wish
to thank CBS Enterprises, Carol Serling, Dennis Etchison, Dick Bresh Associates,
Claire Simon Casting, Terry Jennings EXIM Satellite Radio, the American
(46:06):
Forces Radio and Television Service, Serious Satellite Radio, Our sponsors
and our radio affiliates for helping make this series possible.
This copyrighted radio series is produced and directed by Carl
Lamari and Roger Wolsky for Falcon Picture Group. Doug James
Peaking
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