March 15, 2024 • 35 mins
After spending a few days stuck inside from snow and ice, the boys decided to make a funny episode. Wes gets some advice on his Tinder profile from the guys. Avery reads some Yelp reviews from his "lifestyle" playmates.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
All right, welcome to Unsuppressed.I'm gonna really really regret this episode.
Nod. It's like this to makeme very happy that we pre record everything
and we don't need and then wesay some stuff that's off color, that's
a little racy. That's why wedon't do it live. We do it
recorded. Hey look, hey,Wes, I'm gonna say this, Hey,
(00:25):
look, hey, everybody, welcometo Unsuppressed, because today is truly
unsuppressed. Changing the form out ofthe show, We're going to go back
a little bit. We were goingto talk about the fact that a lot
of people in Oregon were unprepared forthe snowstorm to hit this week. But
in kind of like our guy talkthat we had beforehand, dating came up.
Because Avery is an He's a sexualTyrannosaurus is a sexual tyrannosaurs. He
(00:52):
is uh, And so Avery waslike, bro, it's so easy.
I get I have three SMEs everyweek, sometimes two, three times a
week. And He's like, youcan easily find women on her I'm like,
yeah, but did you were SpecialForces in the military and I'm a
fat It was for Radio Shower aRanger Ranger Rangar's Special Forces in the sack,
though not the Ford rangar. He'sthe Army rangear. So yeah,
(01:19):
that that came up. And thenand then Bill is like, because I
so, Bill and an off air, I've done this before, goofing rout
with zoom, and I shared myscreen. I showed him what tender was
like because Bill wanted to see whatthe dating pool thing. And we had
done an episode of Conspiraffect before whereI shared with Bill some of the most
heinous profiles I'd ever seen on Tenderuh, and some experiences I had had
(01:41):
where I was accosted by a womanbecause I had the audacy to ask her
what her favorite movie was. Butdid she have a penis? Sorry?
Said that is typically did you seethe Uh, there's a there's a cut
from a comedian, they said,look in the eighties women had a full
Bush nineties landing strip two thousands baldtoday cons that was like, we need
(02:12):
to do an episode about Wes's datinglife. Yeah, so so here we
are and so yeah pat and uh. Bill had asked me to send over
screenshots of my profiles. They cancritique my pictures, and I guess I'll
edit them then and now I did. I had paid money to a website,
I guess more just an app thatwould take your profile picture and then
(02:34):
it would like supermpos your face intoAI generated image to make your gardens a
lisky fortherfucker, because damn, Ikind of have a mixture. I kind
of haven't set up. So it'slike every other picture, it's again one
of me AI, one of menormal, AI normal. It just kind
of goes, Dude, you gota date right here, what are you
worried about? Exactly? And thebest you're getting in Oregon? And that
(02:59):
was an expo last year and happenedthis weekend and I couldn't go. I
was told not to go because apparentlylike nobody showed up. So look,
I'm gonna say this this year thatlike the third or fourth one down that
like AI, it took your faceand made a din in it like you've
like you've scroll like you experienced sometype of industrial accident while on an assassination
(03:23):
mission trying to join the Avengers.Lest your name should be fucking Alexei or
Yuri silly instead of West. Itdoes. It does make my slavicness look
much more slavic. I will saythat, and you're bringing the steam and
(03:46):
then you're touching the Stanley Cup onanother one you're like like my review,
yes, yes, let's uh,let's please start at the beginning. Okay,
okay, scroll we allay up tothe top here. The first thing
you're you have to recognize your demographic, right, I mean market interface and
knowing what type of people you're dealingwith. The first thing on the first
(04:08):
photos is Christian. I'm sorry,but in Portland that's not going to do
you much good in the in thethe very first photo that I received is
you. I think that might Ohthat's the end. Okay, so you
got the what I wrote in there. But in the about me section okay,
okay, so about me you asis Christians. So, and then
(04:28):
you got Danny DeVito reference in there. I would probably do something a little
bit more modern. If you're goingto make it, try and make a
joke like that the Stanley or theI don't know what that is. The
Mighty Ducks hockey Jersey might not wantto use that because I don't think most
women hockey. Yeah, and thenyour your interests, that's nothing that they're
going to want to be interested in. Any girl is going to want to
(04:50):
be interested in. I mean,if if this was like, if you're
trying to hit up dudes like thatmay be all about this monogamy, pisces,
bachelor's, I want children, what'sian f p. That's my personality,
that's the Myers Braids. It's likea bazillion different ones you shall say.
(05:14):
You should say some ship like Ifuck everybody that's got a vagina,
your pisces, which means you wantto put it in the pieces, and
then bachelors whatever. I want children, Nah, dude, No, dude,
I want fun. That's what I'dbe shooting for. Okay, the
lama. The lama is the strongplay. However, the photo should be
more of you and more of notof the animal. You should be the
(05:36):
center of the photo. And Iactually, yeah, so it kind of
cropped that photo weird. But it'sfunny that you say that because I did
have a girl of message made.She was like, bro, is that
Caesar Like yeah, yes, ohmy god, I love him. I
follow him on Instagram. I'm like, awesome, I hugged him. He
(05:57):
saw that. It didn't go anywherethe ground about your like him, suck
my dick. You should you shouldhave less like self shots. You should
have a picture of you with friends, right, Get you a girl who's
into retards, then she wouldn't likeme. Oh she likes you as well.
(06:19):
Oh years old. Also you shouldput you should spell check yourself because
you misspelled friends. According to Bride, I'm laid back. Oh damn.
He went deep on that one,say about retards Wes. So all right,
(06:46):
so are we talking about the Okay, when you're looking at all the
images, seeing the one where he'swearing the red shirt, is that like
a red sweater? Is that theone you're saying that? He said,
I did that one. Yeah,you look like you're going to murder somebody.
That actually looks like you're gonna lookI mean it looks like you're gonna
(07:06):
have them like played with a trainset and then later on that evening you're
gonna fucking lay them. You knowthat. I mean, straight up dexter
level. That looks like John Lithgow. Hey listen here, Renfield. The
one with the Stanley cup where you'rewith your friend, like, that's pretty
solid. I would definitely have anotherone, but that's my that's my little
brother. There is another one,but the photos were terrible because it was
(07:26):
taking a b having a cleaner,cleaner one where you're with a group of
friends. That's the way to go, not just like because it's like chopped.
I've had people complain about not fullfacial pictures and they're like, oh,
you're a fake account because you don'thave a full facial picture. I
was like, what do you Idon't I don't get that. But I've
actually, multiple times have had peoplesay that to me. So I don't
know why that's an issue, butI know one of the things when I
(07:48):
first got on tender a while back, a big problem I have is that
a lot of girl accounts would havenothing but group photos. And there was
one where every photo was a groupand television was And I remember handing this
into my roommate and say, canyou find which girl is in all of
these? Because there's because her bestfriends are in it, and they're all
(08:09):
in there too, I couldn't tellwho she was. I would ditch gamer
for your interests and put out somesort of outdoor activity on there right now.
Interests would be good to you coulddo board games, but you could
also swap board games out for somethingelse, naked travel, say travel for
board games. I like to playtabletalk games. What I'm playing this thing?
(08:33):
If I if I put travel,they're going to ask you to travel.
Absolutely, Okay, where do youtravel? I traveled to work.
I traveled in the store. Wes. When you go fishing, do you
think the fish looks at the hookof the worm and goes, yeah,
that's gonn lead to something that youhooked that ship? And then you we
need delete Netflix because I don't.I don't have Netflix anymore. Yeah.
(08:56):
See, now we're going place.Look this is you know what he got
into this podcast? Yeah about horrormovies. Who knew we were helping you
right now? We were going there. He's got some good ship. I
like. I like the hip hop. Let's see what do I like doing?
Did you shooting guns in the rightlifting? Yeah? I was ditch
(09:16):
ditch guns, ditch shooting. Ilike shooting. It says I like shooting,
I think is what it says.Can because that could be misunderstood in
Portland. YEA, well you havethirty four jealous to be rich? Forty
what's a forty ten millimeter? Iyou know that was the thing. It
(09:37):
is, Look at the side ofthis fucking thing. Good God Jesus even
zoom like, so yeah, soI have a chassis to put it in.
I have, I have my interest. I've got hip hop, horror
movies, hockey, and then movies. I'll just remove horror movies, horror
(09:58):
movie, pick something, pick somethingridiculous like oh no, uh like uh,
sushi bars, slam poetry, whatthe hell is that? Yeah?
Yeah that there you go. Theonly slam poetry is gonna be banging her
from the back and the words comingout of Jim. I'll put Jim because
(10:20):
I like, do you like goingto the gym? But seriously, where's
weightlifting? I was actually enjoying weightlifting, working out, working out? There
is weightlifting all it do at thebottom right above xbox voguing voguing, I
(10:41):
vogue shesha. Say you hate Conservatives, Republicans and Trump, and you'll get
laid improv what do you call compulsory? Like, I just don't know.
We're interested now movies, weightlifting,jim, slam poetry, and hip hop.
So let me tell you about this. That's what in her bio says,
(11:05):
just looking for someone who wants tobecome a dual income household. I
asked the I go I asked,I go, there's a I have a
riddle for you. What's better thana dual income household, a triple income
household, a triple income household?It's for you. It's hilarious. When
there was an amy, there wasa couple that got up and they called
(11:28):
themselves tinks triple income, no kids. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like
because I never heard of a dinkbefore. She's like, there's dinks,
and now we're tinks. What thefuck? And then and dinks is kind
of like picked up little bit more. It's more mainstream. I'm looking for
the sentinks. Sentinks. Yeah,one income family? What get your last
(11:50):
name has to be Latino to dothat? All right? Who's who's really
short and really popular as an actor? Uh uh Webster? I don't know.
Okay, So you know what I'msaying about that is culturally so in
the Latino community. A lot ofour multi family homes so multi multi generational.
(12:11):
So say say your is like picka dog like labradoodle, right,
something just ridiculous, and say I'myou know, three labradoodles tall or something
like that. Tell them you justquit. How many motorcycles? How tall
is the coffee how tall is I'mtwenty two venties tall tall or something like
that. Oh shit, dude,we're gonna get Avery's gonna get you sorted
(12:33):
out in no time. Oh,Brad Williams, he's a he's a comedian,
He's he's a midget. You knowwhat I'd say is who's a famous
short person? I'd be like BradPitt, I'll I'm Tom. Did you
say something like Tom Cruisers? Likeyou can sack two Tom cruises and it's
about one point five Tom cruises.Just say I'm anatomically correct like I'm seven
(12:58):
foot tall. I used to haveI have the physique of thor dot dot
dot from Endgame, but I don'tknow if that one worked out so well.
That's not dude, don't be supperingup deprecating. Look, I will
throw my dick at you and hityou from across the room. You say,
you know, just be you gotto be like confident? Should I
put big dick energy somewhere in myprofile? You guys scheming about over there?
(13:20):
Oh? Nothing, something I removed, Christian? What else should I
remove from my description? Avery?No more guns? Oh let me,
yeah, I ditch the gun stuff. Great white Buffalo so great white buffo.
(13:46):
No, No, I'm just playingnow. The The funny thing is
is that if you are more vaguein what you're doing, but you're more
confident and how you're portraying it,and you you'll open yourself to a larger
demo graphic. All you have tosay is is that I don't really want
a relationship. I want to developfriendships and see where that goes. To
go with that, like, soit's not like I have lots of people
(14:07):
coming at me. Yeah, Ijust I'm not interested in being like like
cornered, because then gu I'm goingto look at you and go, what's
wrong with me? Why doesn't hewant to be with me? I need
to fuck him right now. Imean, you know that seems to me
that's like, that's exactly That's alwaysbeen my That's always been my luck at
(14:28):
the very top. Then, notnot really looking for a relationship, looking
for friendships, develops, see whereit goes. I mean, deep down,
they are all programmed to want longterm relationships, but it doesn't it
doesn't matter what they put down there. It's long term partner, long term,
open, the short, short term, open, the long, short
term, fun, new friends,still figuring it out. One hot dog
(14:50):
in the room, multiple buns,We're good. That's all you got to
say. One hot dog on thecreole, multiple in the oven. That
means never mind, what the hellthe helluse do you cook? Months?
Babies are the worst fucking STDs ever. There are a nine month infection that
(15:13):
stays with you or the rest ofyour life. That's that's the truth.
That's the truth. I love mychildren. However, Comma, they are
the most expensive thing I've ever bought. I have three hundred and thirty three
characters left from my description. AllRight, you like pull a sausage because
I have one dot dot dot.I am Polish. I know that's why
(15:39):
I said it. Nope, Ishould put that I'm Polish. I hope
you like killdossa or you could say, you know what, you should tie
it in. You know what,if you weren't prepared for the winter,
the winter cold snap, trust me, I can wrap my arms around you
and you'll be warm forever. Iused to have uh. I used to
have I'm I'm uh I'm an AllAmerican cuddler or something like that, and
(16:00):
someone was like, but I waslike, I went to the world Championship
of Cuddling, and the girls like, well I think I saw you there.
I'm like, yeah, man,I'm all American. Never really went
anywhere because it comes across two niceguys. But yeah, and if you
can build a bullshit profile, whatreally comes down to being able to meet
in person. If you can geta meet in person done, then you're
(16:22):
going to go. But most ofthe time I usually do pretty well.
There's only been a couple of timeswhere I met someone in person and it
was an absolute nightmare date. Mostof the time I meet girls in person
that's either like or yeah, weclick and yeah, fine, West,
what was your worst date? Youwent on? This kid right to ask,
yeah, what's your worst date?Let's see, his name was Carl.
(16:47):
Yeah, should stick out one ofthem. I met with this girl
and we we're talking, and Iwould try to, like, you know,
when you're when you're talking about stuff, you kind of like a strap
late and try to like ask aquestion to kind of lead into the next
thing. Every time I would dothat, she would just go no,
(17:11):
no, not really no, becauseand she's like, oh, yeah,
we used to live in Alaska.I'm like, oh, are you pretty
outdoors? Y do you like theoutdoors? And no, you just set
inside all winter? No? No, I went out and did stuff or
in the winter. Okay, LikeI mean, I know nothing about Alaska.
I've never lived there, never visitthere, so like, what kind
of things do you like to do? Oh? You know stuff? But
(17:34):
the thing is is that, likeon text, we had a great connection
and there was a great sense ofhumor, and both of us had the
right amount of sarcasm, not toosarcastic, not it was it was great
and posted gifts and it was justnerdy and fun. And then I meet
her in person, it's just likeNoah and and I thought her name was
(17:55):
Anna because it was A and A. It's how she had some spellches.
No, it's Onna. I'm like, you know what I just said is
I'd have been really cool about it, like, hey, so your name
is Anna, what's your background?And then she would have said, well,
I'm from Alaska, and I saywhere we're in Alaska? That's a
big fucking place on uh so thenyou can start It's like that's twice the
(18:19):
size of Then you're like you wantto build a snowman, bitch. Hey,
if you have a question so whenyou guys interview your next victim so
to speak, so suppressed podcast doesnot endorse. Know what I'm saying is
(18:44):
where do you guys typically link upthat? Like, where do you guys
like meet when you guys do ameat is it a you do like the
coffee thing? You do a barthing or do how does that go?
Well? Depend Yeah, I meanit's usually it's usually not like a normal
like way of meeting people, right, No, definitely different. Well,
(19:10):
I can tell you the one story. I mean, there's the most recent
one, which was I was bumblingwith somebody and she's like, oh,
you have a you have a girlfriendAnd I was like yeah. She's like
does she know? I'm like yeah, actually she's right next to me,
and she goes, well can Italk to her? I go better,
yet, let's meet for dinner Andshe said okay, like challenge accepted,
(19:33):
and so we met and they talkedmore than I talked to her, So
it's really cool. So, well, well, I assume that's probably a
more important component than you connecting withher the other person or is it?
No? The way I try toexplain to people, it's like you take
a normal relationship with two people,and then you make it more complicated to
(19:55):
the power. So you're now youhave if you know, you have three
people, yeah, these two.You have this person this person, so
there's two, right, and youhave this person this person that's two,
and then you have this person thisperson that's two, and then you have
an overall jam too. So morecomplicated take the equation, you bring it
to the power of six. Somy question is what that is is that
basically you guys have always maintained youguys, and then this other person's peripheral
(20:21):
and as long as they aren't catchingfeelings, then everything's gold on. No,
No, there's I mean there's Isthat always happen? Yes, yeah,
I mean it just depends on somebody. Somebody always catches feelings. Uh,
that would seem to be the history. Yes, I mean it's I
mean, I'm not gonna say alwaysright, but typically afraid to catch feels.
(20:45):
I mean, like, what areyou trying to do in life if
you're not trying to catch feelings?Like what do you what are you doing?
Yeah, that's true because okay questionso okay, so let's okay,
so you have so you have asolid two you add if you ended up
having a solid third. Right nowyou have a Three's next? Now what
(21:08):
happens next? Or uh you geta collect Yeah, you're gonna pull like
what pokemon? You move out themontana, start a compound? What's what's
the pokemon that squirts the water squirrel? We're looking for our squirtle? So
(21:30):
is I mean, is that wasthat like the you just start developing?
I mean, is that or isthere a are you gonna hit a like
a balance point? Like this iswhat's gonna be? Overdraws his line at
eight. I mean, I mean, it's it's a it's a I mean,
I don't I'm not saying that's impossible. I just think it's very very
difficult to go Yeah, to gopast three, let's say, I mean
(21:51):
if if and this is just mespeculating at this point, right, like
if you went with like a dualcouple situation like that would be hard enough.
If I can only imagine if youwent like three girls and one guy.
I couldn't. I mean, Iknow there's that TV show where they
did that. I don't even knowhow they could do that, right,
But I mean, whatever they're ableto put to go, I don't know
how accounting. It's like sister wivesor whatever it was called. But what
(22:15):
if they set it up so theyhad four incomes coming in so money was
good and then there was some variety. You know, you could do the
thing and everybody's good. Yeah.The only problem is that if you could
actually have three kids at the sametime up to six incidentally. Yeah,
So the thing that I've noticed iseven though the women have very good incomes,
(22:37):
one of them is even better thanmine, like exponentially better than mine.
The dude's expectations are still there,like the dude buys dinner, the
dude drives the dude, but youknow, just still dead right right right,
So it's it's definitely culturally. It'sinteresting because you're mixing like non conventional
(23:00):
expectations and ideologies along with cultural norms, and some of them fall off and
some of them don't. So it'sa very complex. What was the biggest
paradigm shift for you? Then youembarked on that, right, so when
you went from hey, we're doinguh, me and you, then it's
hey, we're gonna do me youand let's add somebody else. Let's see
(23:22):
what's what? How did that evenstart? Yeah, how do you how
does that? How do we getoff of lesson? Get on? Well?
Because because if you guys gave methe advice, and you guys,
I'm the I'm the little passion project. I'm the puppy that needed the well
you got to start. So we'regetting you down with the sexual wolf that
(23:44):
that has it all figured out.And so I'm the ganda. So I
mean, how do you master I'mthe paddle one? Like you know,
so how does that? How doesone go from point A to point B
on that? My guess is andin every relationship there's that talk and how
it goes is different for every relationship, right, But I mean, I'm
(24:07):
not going to divulge all the antidotesthat have been in front of us or
have been in our history, butor situations, I guess there stories,
stories better word, but you know, like it's evolved, it's constantly evolving.
I mean, it's always evolving.And so what I want to do
is get to the genesis of avery. How would you like to have another
(24:29):
girl? You be like, okay, is that is that kind of what
happened? I mean no, itwas it was more like, let's go,
let's go find something's go do somethingsomething. Yeah, okay, most
people go to dinner. Yeah hedid boring booty buffet. Maybe they went
(24:49):
yard, they did the thing that'scool. Yeah, I mean each each
of my my coucie. Right,there's still certain aspects of it that I
try to keep pretty close to theust on things. But yeah, I
mean it's definitely, in my opinion, Punner, it's been more rewarding than
it has been like negatives associated withit. So I meet, you meet
(25:10):
great people, and you know,you always have the the no word like
staged in your head, and assoon as you feel uncomfortable about something,
you're like, all right, wellI think it's time to go. I
mean to the point where we havelike hand and arm signals to be like
no, good, we're done.Yes, So like we would we would
we would have the okay symbol andthen thumbs up and so one is like
(25:33):
okay, everything's good, and theother one's like, no, we're done,
and that it's time to go.So we're always checking in, we're
always talking, we're always communicating,always trying to be conscious of the other
person's gaming. Like it's a gatI love that. Oh we a are
everything. We have this joke wherewe write Yelp reviews and I should read
you something. Do you want meto read you a Yelp review? Yeah,
(25:56):
we have a couple of minutes left, Babe, can bring me your
phone with a Yelp review on it. God, this is going to be
good. I think this is thebest one. Darn cold weather always makes
my nose run. All right,so this is a Yelp review. Oh
(26:17):
boy, this is some personal informationhere, but we'll go at it as
much as you can. I canbleep stuff if it's two. Yeah,
you might have to because I'm justgoing to go for it. That's fine.
Expect an all night experience, butdon't worry. He'll always provide food,
drinks in a good time with protectionwhile in his presence, gunfire and
(26:37):
Portland won't even scare you. Truestory or an eighteen year financial burden.
No, kids, there's never adull moment at any time. He will
encourage audience participation, oh my god, and change in changing positions. When
you think you can't keep up withthem. You can even tag a friend
(27:00):
in for a break. Even yourfriends will be satisfied. Right when you
think he's not human. He willsurprise you in the morning with a rare,
sweet, tasty explosion. That's notthat's not with that review for you.
That did Alicia write this? No, this is one of our friends.
(27:22):
He will leave you with reminders allover your body and memories that will
make you all over the walls.That's a weird way to say that you
spank. That's exactly what that means. So does it feel good to be
a pimp? It feels good tobe a gangster. I think it's very
(27:48):
important when we're when you're doing activities. So I always have, yeah,
treats and snacks and things like that. So we usually have a chakudie board
that we bring to the for thenight and then in the morning I'll go
get donuts or whatever. You know. Got to have recovery food for sure.
Yeah, but yeah, it's thatthe gun fire. We were leaving
this club we were at, andwe were leaving and I had the window
(28:11):
down a little bit or something,and we heard gunshot go off like fairly
close, and like, are theyshooting at us? And like no,
I mean they're not shooting at usper se. There's just somebody's shooting every
night at work. I mean,I'm constantly your gunfires, like, you
know, bring that dick back herenow now I want that dick that's not
(28:34):
the only thing be shooting at youtonight, baby, to march step back
a little bit more. They won'tshoot anymore. Oh well, you know
it says to me like, youhave a hell of a Google review.
That's that's interesting. That's a fivestar? Is it their moo goo guy?
Pam was so delicious? So someonewrote that for you send it to
you? Is that so you cansend them to potential playmates and like convince
(28:57):
them or not. It's just forfun that goes on this resume, dude,
that'd be funny. I just Iwas in the Battle of the Bedroom
bond. Yeah, so that wasjust kind of like a little more for
(29:17):
yours. Which, Yeah, let'shear her, let's hear her ship.
Let's oh whoops, come on now, let's bring it one. I just
read you, no, the one. I just heard the name Emily.
Let's hear Emily. Well, Iwant to see I want to see her.
Let's hear let's This is fantastic.This is like we've gone into a
(29:41):
whole different level of side of that. I have was not prepared for with
you fuckers, I expect absolutely nothing. All right, you ready? Yeah,
so this is This was from oneof our very good friends for a
while, very inclusive, jennerous couple. Will fill you all the way up
with confidence. D I C.K and McDonald's. Uh, you'll walk
(30:06):
away through the refreshed and looking likerefreshed and looking like a black and blue
work of art. Ten and tenwe'll see you m again, but only
with permission, of course. Whagangster. That was a good one.
Okay, I'm sorry that I fillyou with the dick and McDonald's. I
(30:26):
was not expecting. I was like, dude, but sometimes when we when
we drive back, you know,everybody gets hungry at two in the morning,
and so like, what are wegoing to eat? After she got
the DS, she wants some Mickeyd's. Makes sense. She was like,
give me a mcflurry. I needto put some eyes on it.
(30:47):
You have them cherry pie cheers,my cheery. I think I I think
I sent you guys in the groupchat, the work, the art piece,
the text messages. You've sent uspictures of of your escapades before Yeah,
wife gets it was that was acouple of weeks ago. It's kind
(31:10):
of a funny moment every just nowheretext all of us. He goes,
hey, guys, I just hada threesome or just had sex. And
then I just said the gift fromthe Lonely Island music video, congrats on
the sex going to Texas fucking pace. It's like I have never read that,
I've never had an excuse to usethis gift before golden moment. We
(31:30):
are Oh Jesus Christ, didn't Iwill definitely that we had sex, no
more communication, like congrats on talkingabout optics, and it was like,
(31:57):
just have sex, happy New Yorkby nothing else. So like you have
all the things that I need formy firearms don't need exactly did I tell
you guys about New Year's what happened? No? No, you didn't ship?
All right, so we get one. We have one bonus story from
Avery excapades and now wrap it up. This is the number one. This
(32:19):
is gonna save aftermath. Like thisis the greatest fuck show I've ever heard
my life. So my girlfriend andI go to this club and it's New
Year's Eve and so the balls dropright and all that stuff. Are you
in Portland? Or are you werein Portland? Okay, and you didn't
(32:39):
come say hi? All right,come on, oh Ship. We're gonna
bring oh Ship. It's recorded literallynow, it's okay, we already see
you. She can she can bragabout her Instagram if she wants to.
She said, you can brag aboutyour Instagram. Everybody, this is do
(33:00):
you want to use like a pseudonymor do you want to stick with your
real name? Okay? So wewent to Portland, like you said,
and we went to a club andit was the night before New Year's night
before New Years New Year's Eve.Yeah. So the following story from Avery's
girlfriend was too spicy and too muchfor this podcast. We had to go
(33:22):
ahead and get it that out.It was way too personal and u just
not appropriate for any audience. AllRight, guys, thank you for joining
us on. That's a very interestingepisode of Unsuppressed. And thank you my
fellow co host for the feedback onmy tender profile. HS know how it
(33:43):
goes. And thank you Avery forthe thirty seconds of story that you gave
us, because that's all we'd havebeen fifteen minutes. If you like to
hear the full and censored version donateto the tip dar Honda Data tip jar
at gmail dot com. And whensomeone emailed me on there too, and
(34:04):
I passed their information on Avery forthe medical class and Avery has coming up,
so medical class. Yeah, Soif you guys still want to,
I mean you can. If youcan't figure it out based upon the link
that was in last week's episode,you can email me at conspirafactiptre at gmail
dot com. I will pass onto Avery if you're okay with that,
Thank you, and Avery will bemore than happy to reach out to you
and contact you about that, notabout the other stuff that we talked about
(34:30):
today. If you like this format, if you guys like this format,
please let us know because I thinkthis is a great way for us to
go very relaxed, very open,open format. Today we went down a
rabbit hole. We kind of wekind of did like a Timpool whatever podcast
kind of Oh yeah, dude.By the way, this is not because
I wanted to look like tempoole.It's because I literally had my hairs all
fucked up and I've been wearing itall day because I've been outside and I
(34:52):
was like, well, ball cap, Yeah, I've been wearing a beanie
all day because it was cold.So I was the most rabbit hole I
think said it down. Yeah,well, right here, right here,
first time I've had my beard outthis far in at least three weeks.
I'm just saying I actually have astubble, which is strange. I usually
don't have it. Yeah, misterclean shaven, this conversation all right,
(35:15):
thank you very much. And remember, guys, when it comes to your
rights, whether it be First Amendment, Second Amendment, were all the others,
make sure you stay unsuppressed, andalso wrap it before you tap it.
All right, welcome to Unsuppressed.I'm gonna really really regret this episode.
Nod. It's like this to makeme very happy that we pre record everything
and we don't need and then wesay some stuff that's off color, that's
a little racy. That's why wedon't do it live. We do it
recorded. Hey look, hey,Wes, I'm gonna say this, Hey,
(00:25):
look, hey, everybody, welcometo Unsuppressed, because today is truly
unsuppressed. Changing the form out ofthe show, We're going to go back
a little bit. We were goingto talk about the fact that a lot
of people in Oregon were unprepared forthe snowstorm to hit this week. But
in kind of like our guy talkthat we had beforehand, dating came up.
Because Avery is an He's a sexualTyrannosaurus is a sexual tyrannosaurs. He
(00:52):
is uh, And so Avery waslike, bro, it's so easy.
I get I have three SMEs everyweek, sometimes two, three times a
week. And He's like, youcan easily find women on her I'm like,
yeah, but did you were SpecialForces in the military and I'm a
fat It was for Radio Shower aRanger Ranger Rangar's Special Forces in the sack,
though not the Ford rangar. He'sthe Army rangear. So yeah,
(01:19):
that that came up. And thenand then Bill is like, because I
so, Bill and an off air, I've done this before, goofing rout
with zoom, and I shared myscreen. I showed him what tender was
like because Bill wanted to see whatthe dating pool thing. And we had
done an episode of Conspiraffect before whereI shared with Bill some of the most
heinous profiles I'd ever seen on Tenderuh, and some experiences I had had
(01:41):
where I was accosted by a womanbecause I had the audacy to ask her
what her favorite movie was. Butdid she have a penis? Sorry?
Said that is typically did you seethe Uh, there's a there's a cut
from a comedian, they said,look in the eighties women had a full
Bush nineties landing strip two thousands baldtoday cons that was like, we need
(02:12):
to do an episode about Wes's datinglife. Yeah, so so here we
are and so yeah pat and uh. Bill had asked me to send over
screenshots of my profiles. They cancritique my pictures, and I guess I'll
edit them then and now I did. I had paid money to a website,
I guess more just an app thatwould take your profile picture and then
(02:34):
it would like supermpos your face intoAI generated image to make your gardens a
lisky fortherfucker, because damn, Ikind of have a mixture. I kind
of haven't set up. So it'slike every other picture, it's again one
of me AI, one of menormal, AI normal. It just kind
of goes, Dude, you gota date right here, what are you
worried about? Exactly? And thebest you're getting in Oregon? And that
(02:59):
was an expo last year and happenedthis weekend and I couldn't go. I
was told not to go because apparentlylike nobody showed up. So look,
I'm gonna say this this year thatlike the third or fourth one down that
like AI, it took your faceand made a din in it like you've
like you've scroll like you experienced sometype of industrial accident while on an assassination
(03:23):
mission trying to join the Avengers.Lest your name should be fucking Alexei or
Yuri silly instead of West. Itdoes. It does make my slavicness look
much more slavic. I will saythat, and you're bringing the steam and
(03:46):
then you're touching the Stanley Cup onanother one you're like like my review,
yes, yes, let's uh,let's please start at the beginning. Okay,
okay, scroll we allay up tothe top here. The first thing
you're you have to recognize your demographic, right, I mean market interface and
knowing what type of people you're dealingwith. The first thing on the first
(04:08):
photos is Christian. I'm sorry,but in Portland that's not going to do
you much good in the in thethe very first photo that I received is
you. I think that might Ohthat's the end. Okay, so you
got the what I wrote in there. But in the about me section okay,
okay, so about me you asis Christians. So, and then
(04:28):
you got Danny DeVito reference in there. I would probably do something a little
bit more modern. If you're goingto make it, try and make a
joke like that the Stanley or theI don't know what that is. The
Mighty Ducks hockey Jersey might not wantto use that because I don't think most
women hockey. Yeah, and thenyour your interests, that's nothing that they're
going to want to be interested in. Any girl is going to want to
(04:50):
be interested in. I mean,if if this was like, if you're
trying to hit up dudes like thatmay be all about this monogamy, pisces,
bachelor's, I want children, what'sian f p. That's my personality,
that's the Myers Braids. It's likea bazillion different ones you shall say.
(05:14):
You should say some ship like Ifuck everybody that's got a vagina,
your pisces, which means you wantto put it in the pieces, and
then bachelors whatever. I want children, Nah, dude, No, dude,
I want fun. That's what I'dbe shooting for. Okay, the
lama. The lama is the strongplay. However, the photo should be
more of you and more of notof the animal. You should be the
(05:36):
center of the photo. And Iactually, yeah, so it kind of
cropped that photo weird. But it'sfunny that you say that because I did
have a girl of message made.She was like, bro, is that
Caesar Like yeah, yes, ohmy god, I love him. I
follow him on Instagram. I'm like, awesome, I hugged him. He
(05:57):
saw that. It didn't go anywherethe ground about your like him, suck
my dick. You should you shouldhave less like self shots. You should
have a picture of you with friends, right, Get you a girl who's
into retards, then she wouldn't likeme. Oh she likes you as well.
(06:19):
Oh years old. Also you shouldput you should spell check yourself because
you misspelled friends. According to Bride, I'm laid back. Oh damn.
He went deep on that one,say about retards Wes. So all right,
(06:46):
so are we talking about the Okay, when you're looking at all the
images, seeing the one where he'swearing the red shirt, is that like
a red sweater? Is that theone you're saying that? He said,
I did that one. Yeah,you look like you're going to murder somebody.
That actually looks like you're gonna lookI mean it looks like you're gonna
(07:06):
have them like played with a trainset and then later on that evening you're
gonna fucking lay them. You knowthat. I mean, straight up dexter
level. That looks like John Lithgow. Hey listen here, Renfield. The
one with the Stanley cup where you'rewith your friend, like, that's pretty
solid. I would definitely have anotherone, but that's my that's my little
brother. There is another one,but the photos were terrible because it was
(07:26):
taking a b having a cleaner,cleaner one where you're with a group of
friends. That's the way to go, not just like because it's like chopped.
I've had people complain about not fullfacial pictures and they're like, oh,
you're a fake account because you don'thave a full facial picture. I
was like, what do you Idon't I don't get that. But I've
actually, multiple times have had peoplesay that to me. So I don't
know why that's an issue, butI know one of the things when I
(07:48):
first got on tender a while back, a big problem I have is that
a lot of girl accounts would havenothing but group photos. And there was
one where every photo was a groupand television was And I remember handing this
into my roommate and say, canyou find which girl is in all of
these? Because there's because her bestfriends are in it, and they're all
(08:09):
in there too, I couldn't tellwho she was. I would ditch gamer
for your interests and put out somesort of outdoor activity on there right now.
Interests would be good to you coulddo board games, but you could
also swap board games out for somethingelse, naked travel, say travel for
board games. I like to playtabletalk games. What I'm playing this thing?
(08:33):
If I if I put travel,they're going to ask you to travel.
Absolutely, Okay, where do youtravel? I traveled to work.
I traveled in the store. Wes. When you go fishing, do you
think the fish looks at the hookof the worm and goes, yeah,
that's gonn lead to something that youhooked that ship? And then you we
need delete Netflix because I don't.I don't have Netflix anymore. Yeah.
(08:56):
See, now we're going place.Look this is you know what he got
into this podcast? Yeah about horrormovies. Who knew we were helping you
right now? We were going there. He's got some good ship. I
like. I like the hip hop. Let's see what do I like doing?
Did you shooting guns in the rightlifting? Yeah? I was ditch
(09:16):
ditch guns, ditch shooting. Ilike shooting. It says I like shooting,
I think is what it says.Can because that could be misunderstood in
Portland. YEA, well you havethirty four jealous to be rich? Forty
what's a forty ten millimeter? Iyou know that was the thing. It
(09:37):
is, Look at the side ofthis fucking thing. Good God Jesus even
zoom like, so yeah, soI have a chassis to put it in.
I have, I have my interest. I've got hip hop, horror
movies, hockey, and then movies. I'll just remove horror movies, horror
(09:58):
movie, pick something, pick somethingridiculous like oh no, uh like uh,
sushi bars, slam poetry, whatthe hell is that? Yeah?
Yeah that there you go. Theonly slam poetry is gonna be banging her
from the back and the words comingout of Jim. I'll put Jim because
(10:20):
I like, do you like goingto the gym? But seriously, where's
weightlifting? I was actually enjoying weightlifting, working out, working out? There
is weightlifting all it do at thebottom right above xbox voguing voguing, I
(10:41):
vogue shesha. Say you hate Conservatives, Republicans and Trump, and you'll get
laid improv what do you call compulsory? Like, I just don't know.
We're interested now movies, weightlifting,jim, slam poetry, and hip hop.
So let me tell you about this. That's what in her bio says,
(11:05):
just looking for someone who wants tobecome a dual income household. I
asked the I go I asked,I go, there's a I have a
riddle for you. What's better thana dual income household, a triple income
household, a triple income household?It's for you. It's hilarious. When
there was an amy, there wasa couple that got up and they called
(11:28):
themselves tinks triple income, no kids. Oh yeah, yeah, it's like
because I never heard of a dinkbefore. She's like, there's dinks,
and now we're tinks. What thefuck? And then and dinks is kind
of like picked up little bit more. It's more mainstream. I'm looking for
the sentinks. Sentinks. Yeah,one income family? What get your last
(11:50):
name has to be Latino to dothat? All right? Who's who's really
short and really popular as an actor? Uh uh Webster? I don't know.
Okay, So you know what I'msaying about that is culturally so in
the Latino community. A lot ofour multi family homes so multi multi generational.
(12:11):
So say say your is like picka dog like labradoodle, right,
something just ridiculous, and say I'myou know, three labradoodles tall or something
like that. Tell them you justquit. How many motorcycles? How tall
is the coffee how tall is I'mtwenty two venties tall tall or something like
that. Oh shit, dude,we're gonna get Avery's gonna get you sorted
(12:33):
out in no time. Oh,Brad Williams, he's a he's a comedian,
He's he's a midget. You knowwhat I'd say is who's a famous
short person? I'd be like BradPitt, I'll I'm Tom. Did you
say something like Tom Cruisers? Likeyou can sack two Tom cruises and it's
about one point five Tom cruises.Just say I'm anatomically correct like I'm seven
(12:58):
foot tall. I used to haveI have the physique of thor dot dot
dot from Endgame, but I don'tknow if that one worked out so well.
That's not dude, don't be supperingup deprecating. Look, I will
throw my dick at you and hityou from across the room. You say,
you know, just be you gotto be like confident? Should I
put big dick energy somewhere in myprofile? You guys scheming about over there?
(13:20):
Oh? Nothing, something I removed, Christian? What else should I
remove from my description? Avery?No more guns? Oh let me,
yeah, I ditch the gun stuff. Great white Buffalo so great white buffo.
(13:46):
No, No, I'm just playingnow. The The funny thing is
is that if you are more vaguein what you're doing, but you're more
confident and how you're portraying it,and you you'll open yourself to a larger
demo graphic. All you have tosay is is that I don't really want
a relationship. I want to developfriendships and see where that goes. To
go with that, like, soit's not like I have lots of people
(14:07):
coming at me. Yeah, Ijust I'm not interested in being like like
cornered, because then gu I'm goingto look at you and go, what's
wrong with me? Why doesn't hewant to be with me? I need
to fuck him right now. Imean, you know that seems to me
that's like, that's exactly That's alwaysbeen my That's always been my luck at
(14:28):
the very top. Then, notnot really looking for a relationship, looking
for friendships, develops, see whereit goes. I mean, deep down,
they are all programmed to want longterm relationships, but it doesn't it
doesn't matter what they put down there. It's long term partner, long term,
open, the short, short term, open, the long, short
term, fun, new friends,still figuring it out. One hot dog
(14:50):
in the room, multiple buns,We're good. That's all you got to
say. One hot dog on thecreole, multiple in the oven. That
means never mind, what the hellthe helluse do you cook? Months?
Babies are the worst fucking STDs ever. There are a nine month infection that
(15:13):
stays with you or the rest ofyour life. That's that's the truth.
That's the truth. I love mychildren. However, Comma, they are
the most expensive thing I've ever bought. I have three hundred and thirty three
characters left from my description. AllRight, you like pull a sausage because
I have one dot dot dot.I am Polish. I know that's why
(15:39):
I said it. Nope, Ishould put that I'm Polish. I hope
you like killdossa or you could say, you know what, you should tie
it in. You know what,if you weren't prepared for the winter,
the winter cold snap, trust me, I can wrap my arms around you
and you'll be warm forever. Iused to have uh. I used to
have I'm I'm uh I'm an AllAmerican cuddler or something like that, and
(16:00):
someone was like, but I waslike, I went to the world Championship
of Cuddling, and the girls like, well I think I saw you there.
I'm like, yeah, man,I'm all American. Never really went
anywhere because it comes across two niceguys. But yeah, and if you
can build a bullshit profile, whatreally comes down to being able to meet
in person. If you can geta meet in person done, then you're
(16:22):
going to go. But most ofthe time I usually do pretty well.
There's only been a couple of timeswhere I met someone in person and it
was an absolute nightmare date. Mostof the time I meet girls in person
that's either like or yeah, weclick and yeah, fine, West,
what was your worst date? Youwent on? This kid right to ask,
yeah, what's your worst date?Let's see, his name was Carl.
(16:47):
Yeah, should stick out one ofthem. I met with this girl
and we we're talking, and Iwould try to, like, you know,
when you're when you're talking about stuff, you kind of like a strap
late and try to like ask aquestion to kind of lead into the next
thing. Every time I would dothat, she would just go no,
(17:11):
no, not really no, becauseand she's like, oh, yeah,
we used to live in Alaska.I'm like, oh, are you pretty
outdoors? Y do you like theoutdoors? And no, you just set
inside all winter? No? No, I went out and did stuff or
in the winter. Okay, LikeI mean, I know nothing about Alaska.
I've never lived there, never visitthere, so like, what kind
of things do you like to do? Oh? You know stuff? But
(17:34):
the thing is is that, likeon text, we had a great connection
and there was a great sense ofhumor, and both of us had the
right amount of sarcasm, not toosarcastic, not it was it was great
and posted gifts and it was justnerdy and fun. And then I meet
her in person, it's just likeNoah and and I thought her name was
(17:55):
Anna because it was A and A. It's how she had some spellches.
No, it's Onna. I'm like, you know what I just said is
I'd have been really cool about it, like, hey, so your name
is Anna, what's your background?And then she would have said, well,
I'm from Alaska, and I saywhere we're in Alaska? That's a
big fucking place on uh so thenyou can start It's like that's twice the
(18:19):
size of Then you're like you wantto build a snowman, bitch. Hey,
if you have a question so whenyou guys interview your next victim so
to speak, so suppressed podcast doesnot endorse. Know what I'm saying is
(18:44):
where do you guys typically link upthat? Like, where do you guys
like meet when you guys do ameat is it a you do like the
coffee thing? You do a barthing or do how does that go?
Well? Depend Yeah, I meanit's usually it's usually not like a normal
like way of meeting people, right, No, definitely different. Well,
(19:10):
I can tell you the one story. I mean, there's the most recent
one, which was I was bumblingwith somebody and she's like, oh,
you have a you have a girlfriendAnd I was like yeah. She's like
does she know? I'm like yeah, actually she's right next to me,
and she goes, well can Italk to her? I go better,
yet, let's meet for dinner Andshe said okay, like challenge accepted,
(19:33):
and so we met and they talkedmore than I talked to her, So
it's really cool. So, well, well, I assume that's probably a
more important component than you connecting withher the other person or is it?
No? The way I try toexplain to people, it's like you take
a normal relationship with two people,and then you make it more complicated to
(19:55):
the power. So you're now youhave if you know, you have three
people, yeah, these two.You have this person this person, so
there's two, right, and youhave this person this person that's two,
and then you have this person thisperson that's two, and then you have
an overall jam too. So morecomplicated take the equation, you bring it
to the power of six. Somy question is what that is is that
basically you guys have always maintained youguys, and then this other person's peripheral
(20:21):
and as long as they aren't catchingfeelings, then everything's gold on. No,
No, there's I mean there's Isthat always happen? Yes, yeah,
I mean it just depends on somebody. Somebody always catches feelings. Uh,
that would seem to be the history. Yes, I mean it's I
mean, I'm not gonna say alwaysright, but typically afraid to catch feels.
(20:45):
I mean, like, what areyou trying to do in life if
you're not trying to catch feelings?Like what do you what are you doing?
Yeah, that's true because okay questionso okay, so let's okay,
so you have so you have asolid two you add if you ended up
having a solid third. Right nowyou have a Three's next? Now what
(21:08):
happens next? Or uh you geta collect Yeah, you're gonna pull like
what pokemon? You move out themontana, start a compound? What's what's
the pokemon that squirts the water squirrel? We're looking for our squirtle? So
(21:30):
is I mean, is that wasthat like the you just start developing?
I mean, is that or isthere a are you gonna hit a like
a balance point? Like this iswhat's gonna be? Overdraws his line at
eight. I mean, I mean, it's it's a it's a I mean,
I don't I'm not saying that's impossible. I just think it's very very
difficult to go Yeah, to gopast three, let's say, I mean
(21:51):
if if and this is just mespeculating at this point, right, like
if you went with like a dualcouple situation like that would be hard enough.
If I can only imagine if youwent like three girls and one guy.
I couldn't. I mean, Iknow there's that TV show where they
did that. I don't even knowhow they could do that, right,
But I mean, whatever they're ableto put to go, I don't know
how accounting. It's like sister wivesor whatever it was called. But what
(22:15):
if they set it up so theyhad four incomes coming in so money was
good and then there was some variety. You know, you could do the
thing and everybody's good. Yeah.The only problem is that if you could
actually have three kids at the sametime up to six incidentally. Yeah,
So the thing that I've noticed iseven though the women have very good incomes,
(22:37):
one of them is even better thanmine, like exponentially better than mine.
The dude's expectations are still there,like the dude buys dinner, the
dude drives the dude, but youknow, just still dead right right right,
So it's it's definitely culturally. It'sinteresting because you're mixing like non conventional
(23:00):
expectations and ideologies along with cultural norms, and some of them fall off and
some of them don't. So it'sa very complex. What was the biggest
paradigm shift for you? Then youembarked on that, right, so when
you went from hey, we're doinguh, me and you, then it's
hey, we're gonna do me youand let's add somebody else. Let's see
(23:22):
what's what? How did that evenstart? Yeah, how do you how
does that? How do we getoff of lesson? Get on? Well?
Because because if you guys gave methe advice, and you guys,
I'm the I'm the little passion project. I'm the puppy that needed the well
you got to start. So we'regetting you down with the sexual wolf that
(23:44):
that has it all figured out.And so I'm the ganda. So I
mean, how do you master I'mthe paddle one? Like you know,
so how does that? How doesone go from point A to point B
on that? My guess is andin every relationship there's that talk and how
it goes is different for every relationship, right, But I mean, I'm
(24:07):
not going to divulge all the antidotesthat have been in front of us or
have been in our history, butor situations, I guess there stories,
stories better word, but you know, like it's evolved, it's constantly evolving.
I mean, it's always evolving.And so what I want to do
is get to the genesis of avery. How would you like to have another
(24:29):
girl? You be like, okay, is that is that kind of what
happened? I mean no, itwas it was more like, let's go,
let's go find something's go do somethingsomething. Yeah, okay, most
people go to dinner. Yeah hedid boring booty buffet. Maybe they went
(24:49):
yard, they did the thing that'scool. Yeah, I mean each each
of my my coucie. Right,there's still certain aspects of it that I
try to keep pretty close to theust on things. But yeah, I
mean it's definitely, in my opinion, Punner, it's been more rewarding than
it has been like negatives associated withit. So I meet, you meet
(25:10):
great people, and you know,you always have the the no word like
staged in your head, and assoon as you feel uncomfortable about something,
you're like, all right, wellI think it's time to go. I
mean to the point where we havelike hand and arm signals to be like
no, good, we're done.Yes, So like we would we would
we would have the okay symbol andthen thumbs up and so one is like
(25:33):
okay, everything's good, and theother one's like, no, we're done,
and that it's time to go.So we're always checking in, we're
always talking, we're always communicating,always trying to be conscious of the other
person's gaming. Like it's a gatI love that. Oh we a are
everything. We have this joke wherewe write Yelp reviews and I should read
you something. Do you want meto read you a Yelp review? Yeah,
(25:56):
we have a couple of minutes left, Babe, can bring me your
phone with a Yelp review on it. God, this is going to be
good. I think this is thebest one. Darn cold weather always makes
my nose run. All right,so this is a Yelp review. Oh
(26:17):
boy, this is some personal informationhere, but we'll go at it as
much as you can. I canbleep stuff if it's two. Yeah,
you might have to because I'm justgoing to go for it. That's fine.
Expect an all night experience, butdon't worry. He'll always provide food,
drinks in a good time with protectionwhile in his presence, gunfire and
(26:37):
Portland won't even scare you. Truestory or an eighteen year financial burden.
No, kids, there's never adull moment at any time. He will
encourage audience participation, oh my god, and change in changing positions. When
you think you can't keep up withthem. You can even tag a friend
(27:00):
in for a break. Even yourfriends will be satisfied. Right when you
think he's not human. He willsurprise you in the morning with a rare,
sweet, tasty explosion. That's notthat's not with that review for you.
That did Alicia write this? No, this is one of our friends.
(27:22):
He will leave you with reminders allover your body and memories that will
make you all over the walls.That's a weird way to say that you
spank. That's exactly what that means. So does it feel good to be
a pimp? It feels good tobe a gangster. I think it's very
(27:48):
important when we're when you're doing activities. So I always have, yeah,
treats and snacks and things like that. So we usually have a chakudie board
that we bring to the for thenight and then in the morning I'll go
get donuts or whatever. You know. Got to have recovery food for sure.
Yeah, but yeah, it's thatthe gun fire. We were leaving
this club we were at, andwe were leaving and I had the window
(28:11):
down a little bit or something,and we heard gunshot go off like fairly
close, and like, are theyshooting at us? And like no,
I mean they're not shooting at usper se. There's just somebody's shooting every
night at work. I mean,I'm constantly your gunfires, like, you
know, bring that dick back herenow now I want that dick that's not
(28:34):
the only thing be shooting at youtonight, baby, to march step back
a little bit more. They won'tshoot anymore. Oh well, you know
it says to me like, youhave a hell of a Google review.
That's that's interesting. That's a fivestar? Is it their moo goo guy?
Pam was so delicious? So someonewrote that for you send it to
you? Is that so you cansend them to potential playmates and like convince
(28:57):
them or not. It's just forfun that goes on this resume, dude,
that'd be funny. I just Iwas in the Battle of the Bedroom
bond. Yeah, so that wasjust kind of like a little more for
(29:17):
yours. Which, Yeah, let'shear her, let's hear her ship.
Let's oh whoops, come on now, let's bring it one. I just
read you, no, the one. I just heard the name Emily.
Let's hear Emily. Well, Iwant to see I want to see her.
Let's hear let's This is fantastic.This is like we've gone into a
(29:41):
whole different level of side of that. I have was not prepared for with
you fuckers, I expect absolutely nothing. All right, you ready? Yeah,
so this is This was from oneof our very good friends for a
while, very inclusive, jennerous couple. Will fill you all the way up
with confidence. D I C.K and McDonald's. Uh, you'll walk
(30:06):
away through the refreshed and looking likerefreshed and looking like a black and blue
work of art. Ten and tenwe'll see you m again, but only
with permission, of course. Whagangster. That was a good one.
Okay, I'm sorry that I fillyou with the dick and McDonald's. I
(30:26):
was not expecting. I was like, dude, but sometimes when we when
we drive back, you know,everybody gets hungry at two in the morning,
and so like, what are wegoing to eat? After she got
the DS, she wants some Mickeyd's. Makes sense. She was like,
give me a mcflurry. I needto put some eyes on it.
(30:47):
You have them cherry pie cheers,my cheery. I think I I think
I sent you guys in the groupchat, the work, the art piece,
the text messages. You've sent uspictures of of your escapades before Yeah,
wife gets it was that was acouple of weeks ago. It's kind
(31:10):
of a funny moment every just nowheretext all of us. He goes,
hey, guys, I just hada threesome or just had sex. And
then I just said the gift fromthe Lonely Island music video, congrats on
the sex going to Texas fucking pace. It's like I have never read that,
I've never had an excuse to usethis gift before golden moment. We
(31:30):
are Oh Jesus Christ, didn't Iwill definitely that we had sex, no
more communication, like congrats on talkingabout optics, and it was like,
(31:57):
just have sex, happy New Yorkby nothing else. So like you have
all the things that I need formy firearms don't need exactly did I tell
you guys about New Year's what happened? No? No, you didn't ship?
All right, so we get one. We have one bonus story from
Avery excapades and now wrap it up. This is the number one. This
(32:19):
is gonna save aftermath. Like thisis the greatest fuck show I've ever heard
my life. So my girlfriend andI go to this club and it's New
Year's Eve and so the balls dropright and all that stuff. Are you
in Portland? Or are you werein Portland? Okay, and you didn't
(32:39):
come say hi? All right,come on, oh Ship. We're gonna
bring oh Ship. It's recorded literallynow, it's okay, we already see
you. She can she can bragabout her Instagram if she wants to.
She said, you can brag aboutyour Instagram. Everybody, this is do
(33:00):
you want to use like a pseudonymor do you want to stick with your
real name? Okay? So wewent to Portland, like you said,
and we went to a club andit was the night before New Year's night
before New Years New Year's Eve.Yeah. So the following story from Avery's
girlfriend was too spicy and too muchfor this podcast. We had to go
(33:22):
ahead and get it that out.It was way too personal and u just
not appropriate for any audience. AllRight, guys, thank you for joining
us on. That's a very interestingepisode of Unsuppressed. And thank you my
fellow co host for the feedback onmy tender profile. HS know how it
(33:43):
goes. And thank you Avery forthe thirty seconds of story that you gave
us, because that's all we'd havebeen fifteen minutes. If you like to
hear the full and censored version donateto the tip dar Honda Data tip jar
at gmail dot com. And whensomeone emailed me on there too, and
(34:04):
I passed their information on Avery forthe medical class and Avery has coming up,
so medical class. Yeah, Soif you guys still want to,
I mean you can. If youcan't figure it out based upon the link
that was in last week's episode,you can email me at conspirafactiptre at gmail
dot com. I will pass onto Avery if you're okay with that,
Thank you, and Avery will bemore than happy to reach out to you
and contact you about that, notabout the other stuff that we talked about
(34:30):
today. If you like this format, if you guys like this format,
please let us know because I thinkthis is a great way for us to
go very relaxed, very open,open format. Today we went down a
rabbit hole. We kind of wekind of did like a Timpool whatever podcast
kind of Oh yeah, dude.By the way, this is not because
I wanted to look like tempoole.It's because I literally had my hairs all
fucked up and I've been wearing itall day because I've been outside and I
(34:52):
was like, well, ball cap, Yeah, I've been wearing a beanie
all day because it was cold.So I was the most rabbit hole I
think said it down. Yeah,well, right here, right here,
first time I've had my beard outthis far in at least three weeks.
I'm just saying I actually have astubble, which is strange. I usually
don't have it. Yeah, misterclean shaven, this conversation all right,
(35:15):
thank you very much. And remember, guys, when it comes to your
rights, whether it be First Amendment, Second Amendment, were all the others,
make sure you stay unsuppressed, andalso wrap it before you tap it.
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