"I Was In Charge Of My Happiness!"

HAPPY VETEREN'S DAY!!! WELCOME TO SEASON 4


On this episode of Uncle Sam's Daughter, we have a conversation with DeCarla Gardner, a veteran who shares her intriguing story about motherhood before, during, and after her service. DeCarla grew up in a military family, giving her a unique life perspective. Though she never thought of serving in the military herself, it eventually became an option that she chose to move forward in her life. However, she had to make a sacrifice that she never intended to. But that sacrifice was something she needed to fulfill the missing piece of her life.

For more information about the podcast or to be a guest, please visit us at https://www.deidrarochanne.com/podcast

To order Uncle Sam’s Daughter: The Book, visit us at https://www.deidrarochanne.com/book-uncle-sam-s-daughter

Please visit the Deidra Rochanne Design Studio https://www.deidrarochanne.com/deidra-rochanne-design-studio

Episode Transcript

(00:12):
Hey y'all, and welcome to seasonfour of Uncle Sam's Daughter, the podcast
that celebrates and honors the real lifesuperwomen who have served in the Armed forces.
Join us as we explore the uniqueexperiences, challenges, and triumphs of
these extraordinary women, from their timein uniform to their transition back to civilian

(00:35):
life. We'll hear inspiring stories thatshowcase their resilience, their journeys through adversity,
and their unwavering determination to overcome.If you haven't already, please check
out the book Uncle Sam's Daughter,which is available on Amazon. For more
information about the podcast, or toget your copy of the book, please

(00:56):
check out the website. The linkcan be found in the podcast scription.
We are so excited to continue toshare our journey with you all. Thank
you for your continued support. Besure to subscribe to the podcast on your
favorite podcast platform. Most of all, remember that sharing is caring, so
please be sure to share. Now. Let's jump into this latest season together.

(01:21):
We'll shine a spotlight on the womenwho continue to inspire and make a
difference because her story matters. Agood afternoon, everyone, or morning or
evening, depending on when you're listeningto this. Thank you all so much

(01:42):
for joining our latest episode of UncleSam Starter and I am so excited to
share my friend, missus Carlve withyou all. Carla, we have had
some conversations and I am I'm justamazed by you, like you are just

(02:05):
phenomenal, and so I was soglad that you were willing to say yes
to come on here and to shareyour story. And I don't want to
keep our audience waiting, so tellthe audience a little bit about yourself.
So hello everyone. My name isDecarla Gardner. I go by Carla,

(02:25):
and I am a Air Force veteran, third generation. For me, that's
an amazing story because my family,my mother, her sister, my uncle,
and myself and my husband are allAir Force veterans. We're like,
if you didn't aim high, don'tblame us. You know, that's our

(02:47):
story and we're sticking to it.Joined the Air Force right after out of
high school. And actually my storywas this, I made the mistake of
telling my dad I was born orit's like you're bored. Okay, Well
since you saw bored, come withme. And next thing I know,
we're in the recruiter's office. Iwas like, he said, I got

(03:12):
one for you. Here she go. So like that with your family and
some did you like know earlier onthat you were going to do this or
like no, when I got outof high school, I thought I was
going to be a real estate agent. That's what I thought I was gonna
do. I didn't think I wasgoing to go to college or do any

(03:36):
of that. But I was,you know, a military brad. All
I know is like, we travel, we do things, and okay,
but my dad said, so youbored, let me help you out,
and that's what he did, andthat's how my journey to the military started.
But one part there was a littlebit of a hiccup for me is

(03:57):
that I had had a child whenI was sixteen going on seventeen years old,
so I had given my baby upfor adoption and they you had to
have proof of that. So forme, it was a little bit of
a pain point because you just madeit a little bit difficult for me to

(04:19):
get in. But I got in. So that was back nineteen what eighty
five. I gave birth, camein in nineteen eighty seven. You know
we're gonna have to talk about that, okay, So sixteen, get first,

(04:41):
I'm assuming it was unexpected, veryright, sir, okay, So
tell us about how what happened there. So when they say that you cannot
get pregnant the first time you everhave sex, lies happens. And the
crazy thing is that I'm with thatparticular incident. I didn't even let the

(05:05):
person finish, like you got thisis hurting, get off me. And
yes it happened. We were bothin high school and you know, you
just try things or whatever. ButI was like, oh lord, this
is not for me and never thoughtin my wildest dreams that I would concede

(05:27):
a child. But so were youall like dating? Were you? We
have to give this shout up foradoption. Was it because of the age?
Was it because of like a support? What was it? So it
was my mother. My mother reallykind of intervened with everything with this.
She was a child that she hadme early in life as well, and

(05:51):
I think for her she knew thestruggles of having a child at an early
age and really didn't want that forme and thought that adoption would be the
better option for for thinking long term, and really at that time, when
you're fifteen, sixteen years old andyou ever nobody. You're like, I

(06:13):
want to have my baby. Iwant to keep my baby, and that
really that decision was really kind oftaken front from me. My mother just
like no, this is what we'regonna do. And you at that age
you be like, Okay, themother knows best. So that's what we
weren't gonna do. So that's whatwe what it did. At the time,
I was living with my aunt inTexas and my parents. My mother

(06:38):
was still in Okinawa, and theywe got they when they got orders back
to the States, they got ordersto Cheyenne, Wyoming, so that's where
the baby was born. So didshe? So did she? So she
knew that you were pregnant. Foundout I was pregnant. No, no,

(07:01):
I kept this a sick girl.I don't think nobody really knew I
was pregnant because I was so littleuntil I was at least probably like six
months. So at that time itwas right because I kind of had like
spit piers and I didnt just didn'tknow what was going on with my body.
I knew some of them didn't know, like just really being really really

(07:23):
naive, and it just happened andthe next thing, you know, I'm
like, oh my god, ababy in there. So I ended up
actually being homeschool my eleventh grade yearwhile I was going through that in Cheyenne
or Whyam for all the places inthe world, and ended up having him.

(07:46):
Fortunate for us, the people thatwe gave him to are people that
I knew. I knew I knewhis adoptive parents because they were in the
military and they were stationed with myfamily when we were living in Okinawa.
So that's how we found Look,that's how my mother found the birth parents
because they had actually adopted a childbefore. That's key to the story too.

(08:09):
So they had adopted a child before, and in fact, I used
to babysit that that little girl,and then they I guess my the adopted
mother was a really good friend ofmy mother's, and they agreed to take
what eventually his name was when hisbirth name was Brandon, Deshaun was his
birth name, So that's key too. So okay, okay, okay.

(08:33):
So after a while we kind oflost contact with the family. I mean,
at first I was getting pictures likewhen he was growing up, and
I was like, oh my god, this child looks exactly like me,
Like he has my eyes, myfeatures, everything. I was like,
oh my, a little bitty maleme, you know. So we were

(08:54):
like, okay, that's what thisis. And after a while we lost
touch and I just lost touch withthem for years and then Facebook happened.
How old was Okay, so howold was he when you all lost touch?
He had to be like three andfour years old, so he was
still young to where he probably didn'teven remember all of this. Okay,

(09:20):
so three or four years old wereyou by that time you were in the
military, or how old was hewhen you joined the military? He had
to be about two years old whenI joined. Okay, okay, so
you were bored. Your child waswith his adoptive parents and your dad says,

(09:41):
no, okay, you're going intothe military. What was that like?
Like were you did you have likeany type of preparation or like,
yes, what was your thoughts?At first? I was like I don't
know about this, and then II thought, you know, why not,

(10:01):
why not join because at the timeI might you know, we're still
around the military base. So wewere at the time my dad was stay
was at Eggland Air Force Base inFort Walton Beach, Florida. And all
the girls that I went to highschool with. Their aspiration was like,
I'm gonna find me a military manand marry him so they can get out.

(10:24):
Seriously, that was that was itfor them. And I was like,
I ain't marrying in them foods.I mean, I was thinking one,
but why not for me? Ithink it was like, why,
you know, marry somebody in themilitary. Why don't I join for myself?
Why don't I do it for myselfbecause you know, men can come
and go, you know, theydo what they do. And I was

(10:48):
like, I want and I'm alittle more independent, so maybe that's probably
why as well. And I'm theoldest child, so I have to set
the example and have fifteen I said, siblings. How many siblings? So
my father it was a rolling through, okay, so this just is ten

(11:13):
on well, yeah, nine onthat side, and then on my mother's
side, I have what really mightbe more nine nine and five is what?
Orwen, No, it's six ofthem and exactly six. Yeah,
because when I I know everybody's names, don't ask me the children's name.

(11:37):
And when I started looking at it, I have about forty nieces and nephews.
It's crazy because my brothers on myfrom my dad, they decide to
must be fruitful and multiply, andthey took it little. So I have
one brother that has nine children,one brother who has eight children, one
brother who has six children. Hewent and married a woman who who has

(12:00):
seven, so that makes thirteen.I can go on and on, and
it's more. I can't remember.I can't keep them up, keep up
with them, but the ones thatI try to contact with, I do
try to work with them and whatnot. Yeah, so that's pretty family.

(12:22):
I have a very extremely large yes, okay, so you and your siblings
fifteen okay, So going back tothe military, so what was like,
where did you go to boot camp? What did you do for your job?

(12:46):
Like how was your overall experience inthe military. So I would have
to say, for me, Ifollow my mother's footsteps actually because my mother
was active duty as well, soI followed in her footsteps. And I
wanted to be a medic, solittle did I know that, and I
was in the Air Force. Sothe medics typically go to Wichita Falls in

(13:09):
Texas. So you go to SanAntonio for basic training, you know,
that's what six or nine weeks andthen after that, you go to your
tech school and I'm not sure whatthey're calling it over other services, but
your technical school where you learned thejob that you're going to be. So
I became a medic and actually Ibecame a flight medicine tech, which is

(13:30):
a little bit different than your averagemedic in the Air Force because we are
trained in San Antonio. So imaginemy surprise. I was like, I
didn't know that's what I was gonnabe. I was expecting to go to
Wichita Falls. No, you're differentfrom those you go here, because we
really are as a flight medicine tech. What that meant is that I took
care of the pilots, work withthe flight surgeons and taking care of the

(13:52):
pilots and anybody that was on flyingstatus. So that's what I different.
So go ahead. You didn't youdidn't know that you were going to do
that? Are they just assigned thatto you? I knew. I knew
I was going to be a medic. I just didn't know that what the
type of medic I was going tobe. Okay, you know I'm sign

(14:13):
of because you'd be like, okay, I'm going to be a you know,
uh whatever, an airman and I'mgoing to be in a medic a
medic and that's that was it forme. So I knew that part.
I just didn't know the rest ofit, like like you have different pieces
of being a medic. You cango to school to be a surgical tech,
hyperbaric, medicine. There's all differenttypes of things. So that's fine,

(14:35):
and that was and then you know, and actually that worked out really
best for me because part of itis that you become an EMT. And
and then after I left my techschool in San Antonio, my first assignment
was Langley Air Force Base in Hampton, Virginia, and I love I love

(14:56):
that area. It's kind of likewhere I kind of grew up. Cause
by the time then I'm nineteen yearsold and I'm still like, oh my
god, what in the world haveI gotten myself into? And luckily for
me, I got to get onflying status, meaning that I got it
got to be assigned to one ofthe fighter squadrons. And those fighter squadron

(15:18):
that I was assigned to was ahelicopter unit out of Langley, So my
first experience of flying was on ahelicopter and they do this drill when you're
in the helicopter where they fly,and then all of a sudden they cut

(15:39):
off the engines on purpose, andthe helicopter drops and part of their side
supposed to automatically come back on.I forgot what that was called, but
you imagine you on this helicopter andthese foods turned off the Oh my god.

(16:03):
So that was kind of adventure.I got to do a lot of
things I used to do, goto in flight emergencies and things of that
nature. So I learned to benot only the administrative side of the house
of the of the cling, butI also understood the clinical side too,
because I had to understand the medicalterminology I got to help with with.

(16:27):
I was like a chaperone. Igot to help with minor surgery procedures.
And I can't remember the first timeI helped with a minor surgery procedure.
I passed out. Oh, I'mthe chaparone and I passed out. Why
did I pass out? Because thislady she was pregnant and she had this

(16:48):
cyst on the very inside of hervagina, and the doctor went to go
cut it. Whatever came out cameout, and I saw it, and
I hit the floor. Here's thatdark The name was baby. I felt
bad, but I couldn't help it. But that was disgusting. And after

(17:14):
that, I'd been good ever sinceI watched the show Don't bother me no
more. But after that, Iwas like, what the did I get?
That's when I was like, whatdid I get myself into? Because
that was so funny? Yes,so you got to come get your chaperone,
sir. She then passed out Lordthe chaperon. Lord, did you

(17:38):
ever have to like actually service pilots, like while they were in flight or
something like that? Was there anythinglike that that happened? No, so
I did. And then so afterI left Langley. It wasn't until I
got to make this. I wentto Langley that did my time, and

(18:00):
then I went to Korea and wentto Korea for about a year, and
then I met my first husband there, got married, got pregnant with my
second child, and came and thenwe eventually came back to McDill Air Force
Space in Tampa. So that's whereI was stationed there for for a little

(18:21):
while. So there I got toactually fly on a F sixteen. That
was fun. As a part ofunderstanding what the pilots go through. One
of the things that they wanted usto do is like you have to get
in a plane with them, Buthow are you going to know what they're
going through, what the different symptomsthat they might have, or why they're
having it if you don't actually flyin a plane with them. So I

(18:45):
was lucky enough to fly in theF sixteen, not as an incentive,
but as just part of my job. So they let me fly. And
it's almost it's like riding on aroller coaster without the rails, you know,
it's almost like you don't have likenot on the rails. You're just

(19:07):
riding and you're back there taking theg's just like they're doing. I think
I pulled that day, about sevenor eight GE's that day, it was
understand how you supposed to put yourselfthrough it so that you don't get hypoxyd
and pass the hell out in theback of that day agona plane. So

(19:29):
that was fun. That was foryou to pass out again, you know,
we can, we cannot, Sothat was fun. And then after
that I met my current husband andwait, what happened to the ex husband?
So what happened to the first husband? So you know me, being

(19:52):
young, I had this this thingabout island men. So for the longest
time I wouldn't date any man unlesshe was from the islands, if they
weren't to make in Haiti and Panamanian, anything but an American. So I
found how Francisco it's not stament Spragueand he was a security who worked for

(20:18):
security police, and he was darkchocolate, have the little you know,
Panamanian thing going on, and gotmarried and married and had to go husband
or the ex the ex husband,got married career and that's it. Then

(20:44):
I got pregnant, came back andthen he followed me to McDill Air Force
Base. So after we got toMcDill, we never should have gotten married,
no one. It was you know, one thing that I tell people,
like the Koreana experience, and ifnobody ever tells you, you go
over there, you get infatuated andyou forget that. Wait, I'm only

(21:06):
here for a year, that's it. And being young, crazy, I
turned twenty one over there. Thatwas quite an intense guy. I'm married
at twenty one, yes, Okayanthat yeah, I've talked to some other

(21:26):
women about that. And you knowthat's the thing, like you're in the
military, you find each other,and especially when you have people who are
so young, and they're like,oh, we're in love and this is
going to be perfect because we're bothin you know, the military, and
you know they're going to understand,and they jump headfirst into it, get
married, and then it's like,oh, what the like, nobody told

(21:52):
me. It's like, you wouldn'thave listened anyway if they would have told
me, the same person that Iwas dating and dealing with in career is
not the same person. They cameback from Korea. It's almost like it's
something about being over there where you'rekind of secluded and you don't have no
choice but to be or have thatexposure to other people. Came back to

(22:14):
stay side and it was like,oh, what in the world did we
do? And now we have onechild and then I got pregnant one another.
So sorry, we only stayed marriedtwo years. Stayed married those two
years, and within those two yearshad those two children, Jamal and Janet,

(22:37):
and one thing, yeah you're yes, so and then come to find
out Harassi is not only Panamanian,he's half Panamanian and half Jamaican. So
my last because and that is quitea mix. And if I didn't do
my homework. So I always tellmy daughters, now do your home work,

(23:02):
figure that out, find out what'sreally going on, because if you
don't, oh Lord, have mercy, you have children with people who are
m hmm. Yeah. So Harassiand I broke up. I think Jamal
was a year old and Janey mayhave been six months. So now I'm

(23:22):
a single I'm a single parent andI'm active to the Mmmm. What was
that like? Hmm. It wasdifficult because shortly after we divorced, Harassio
got out, so it wasn't andhe was I don't know what he was
doing, but I wasn't getting thesupport that I that I needed. So

(23:45):
you imagine that at that time,it was like, no, we do
short haircuts. We don't do nolong go hair because we don't have time
in the morning, because I gottwo babies under the age of five and
two babies and diapers. Oh no, we And I think about Jamal when
he was first born, and I'llnever forget it because he was born July

(24:11):
one, nineteen ninety and a monthlater August second, nineteen ninety is when
the war kicked off. That's whenSaddam went into Kuwait, Oh and I
was still I was still in mymaternity time. As soon as I got

(24:33):
out, though six weeks was over, there was like, you need to
come back to work now. Howdo you find daycare for a six week
old? Right? Right? Likewhat am I supposed to do? It
was crazy? It was. Itwas a crazy time, particularly because they
were so young, and then tryingto do it, and yeah, it

(24:57):
was it. I don't think alot of time the military. I guess
sometimes I feel like they we didn'tissue you no baby, and with that
being said, you do what yougotta do. And then that's when I
really relied on my friends. Ihave a group of girlfriends who we have

(25:19):
been friends for over powd Is Jamala'sthirty three, so we have been friends
for over thirty three years. AndI don't know what I would have done
without my girlfriends. Alexis and myother girlfriend Beina. Bedina and I have
been friends since nineteen eighty seven whenI first got to lightly. He was

(25:41):
my first friend and we are friendsto this day, still hang out to
talk on the phone all that andwithout those two ladies, I don't know
what I would have done, Butdinawas not necessarily stationed with me and Tampa,
but Alexis was, and we justhelped each other out. That's when
we figure out, you know,she was single, you know, parent

(26:03):
as well, and you do whatyou have to do, you know,
to make it, to make itwork. And that's what we did,
and that's how I survive. Idon't know what family. So the family,
wasn't it, because you have tounderstand it. At the same time,
my parents they were still my stepmy mother had gotten out, but

(26:26):
my stepdad had stayed in and theywere still active duty. At the time
I was, I'm trying to figureout where they were. I think we
had swapped out. I was inTampa. My mom and my stepdad were
actually in Hampton. And then mysister that's under me the she's three years

(26:48):
younger. I think she was stationedin Maryland, I want to say.
And then the youngest one on mymother's sidecause I'm closer to my siblings on
my mother's side than I am onthe way on on my dad's side.
But we're just now really kind ofreclin kindling the relationship on my dad's side.
But those are my sisters from mymom's side I'm really close to.

(27:12):
And there's like between me and myyoungest sister, Aaron, there's fourteen years.
Well yeah, so it's a bigage gap there. So actually Aaron
would come spend time with me whenshe was a little girl and while I
was stationed in Tampa and stuff likethat, because she she was obsessed with

(27:33):
me for some reason. So theysat because she has and her big sister
has children, and then you haveJamal and you know, I just Jamal
and Janet at the time, andof course I think the whole time I
would be remiss if what if Ithen stylist felt like something was missing and

(27:57):
in may it just I can explainit to anyone. It's almost like there's
a piece of me. And thatwas always my oldest son all the years,
you know, married, going life. But after a while, I
was like, I really want to, you know, find my child.
And my mother had most touch withhis parents, and we just didn't know

(28:18):
where it were. Didn't know.Then comes Facebook and I told you that
his adopted parents had adopted another younglady, a little girl. Her and
her name was Odelia Odehlia is avery odd name. Her last name was
Williams. But when my son,when they adopted him, they changed his
name to James, but kept hismiddle name. That the name that I

(28:42):
gave him Brandon, So his namewas James Brandon Williams. James Williams is
such a common name. How doyou right find me? How do you
so? I found Odahlia on Facebook? And of course Odelia has friends,
so you look at her friends.Hmmm, she has a friend. His

(29:04):
name is James. That happens tobe her brother. I wonder if that's
my child. M hmm, Idon't know. We're gonna see. So
I befriended him on Facebook and heaccepted my friendship. He didn't know who
I was from Adam. And onFather's Day that year that he posted a

(29:27):
picture of his adoptive father, Iknew what he looked like because I knew
him, right, I knew thefamily. I knew what the mother looked
like. I knew you know,daughter, but Daily had grown up and
she she grew up and she lookedjust like the adoptive mother. My son
James, and they call him Brandonfor some reason. I don't call him

(29:48):
by his friend. They call himBrandon. He grows up and he looks
like just like the adoptive father.Crazy, right, but yes, you
you would never know you and nobodywould have ever known that those two children
were not their kids. Mm hmmm, because of just how they looked.
Yeah, that's crazy. So Carlosentire private eye, right. I found

(30:17):
out where they lived, found outthe number, and I was like,
I kept calling because I wanted tobe respective of the adopted parents, because
I wasn't sure if they had toldhim he was or wasn't the adopted and
I wanted to have a conversation withthem first. I kept calling for months,
so we'll have to say, fromlike March of that year until September

(30:41):
of that year, constantly calling,no response, leave me and you were
still in the military at this time, or you were out. I had
gotten out, so I got out. I stayed in the military for eight
years and I got out and Marcusgotten it like I got out and ninety
five. Because I met Marcus inninety four, that's my current husband.

(31:04):
We got married a year later.That's whole another story in itself for Marcus
because I was giving him the straightblues. But we did eventually get married.
And that was in nineteen ninety five. And I got out of the
military of August of ninety five,and by September the one of ninety five,

(31:30):
we were in Germany. So Iwas out in the military not even
two weeks later. I'm living ina whole nother country. I'm not active
duty anymore. What do I dowith myself? I am not a housewife,
so I'm like, oh my god. And then that means I got
to be home with these children allday, take him to school, pickabop,

(31:52):
What the what? Who does this? So I eventually get a job,
start working, have to find ababy center and stuff like that,
and Germany was great. Then westayed in Germany for three years. And

(32:12):
then while I was in Germany,one thing that I was able to do.
After I had Jeannee, I haddecided that I didn't want any other
wanting any more children, so Ihad my tubes tied. Mm hmm.
So we get to Germany and Marcusdoesn't have many children, find a program
through the army where they were doingthis thing where they were untied to doing

(32:37):
untimed people's tubes. Got into theprogram and got my tubes untied six weeks
after I get my tubes untied,I haven't my appendix ruptures. I'm about
to do in long stool, Germanybecause Karla payin level was so high it

(32:57):
was hurting. I knew I washurting, but Marcus like, I'm tied,
Reverendyo Stone, and you go intothe hospital right now. Get to
the hospital and then they figure outthis food is in here with a ruptured
appendix. And unfortunately with that happening, the surgery to untie the tubes was
successful on my left side, butnot on my right side. So when

(33:22):
we went back to only had oneviable too that we had to use to
have this back. So this thishappened in nineteen ninety seven. We left
Germany in ninety eight moved to Okinawa, Japan. So I'm back in Oakawa
as an adult, very different.Got to show my kids like where I

(33:45):
grew up, at the house welived in, the little things we used
to I am really into the culturalthings, so I really took take them
to the sea wall. We goto the Mama's line of Papa Sligned stores
in the neighborhoods. Don't we shopwhere you know where? The okay now
one shop at So it's really Imake it really fun for them, kept

(34:06):
them really active, and we're steadilySo now we're trying to have this baby,
trying to have a baby, andI told people, now, don't
don't try, and don't keep focusingon it. Just enjoy life, relax
and if it was meant to be, it's meant to be. So it
was meant to be. So Iget pregnant with my last child, Jakira.

(34:30):
Oh my goodness. I was like, oh my god, So that
had to be. I found outin January of ninety nine that I was
pregnant with Jakira. She was bornin September of ninety nine. It took
me a week to have that littlegirl. So I told her that she
is a miracle baby, because theodds of getting pregnant after having your reverse

(34:51):
is very very low, but itcan happen. So I told her,
you were meant to be here,and you're meant to do some great things.
Jakara, she is a mess.She is totally into the Asian culture,
so immersed that for a while there, Jakira did not think that she

(35:13):
was black. She didn't recognize orrealize that she was an African American until
she was like twelve or thirteen yearsold, and people said, how does
that happen? Well, you haveto understand, we're a military family,
so we exposed her to a lotof things. She was born in Japan,
but that girl ain't stay there nomore than we left in two thousand.

(35:37):
Yeah, winter's nine to eleven.What year was that, two thousand
and one one? Yeah, Yeah, Marcus was about to get out the
military. In fact, he wasgetting out and he had just got home
from because I came early, backearly because we had purchased a home,
had a house built, all thestuff, and we were moving to Dallas

(35:58):
because that's where he's from. SoI agreed to live in Texas, in
Dallas of all places. And ifyou know me, I am a Commander's
fan. Marcus is a Cowboys fan, and we do we have our challenges
there. So you got me movingto Dallas. I'm aware of my at
the time, my risk and stuffevery day, and I'm gonna let y'all

(36:19):
all know because I'm crazy like that. And that's what I did. And
then when nine to eleven happened,that day was the craziest day and it
did well you know, people talkingabout it changed your lives. It changed
my families forever. Because we Marcuscould not get out of the military.
He had to stop lost, sohe had to stay in. We had

(36:42):
just built this beautiful home and wehad to move. So guess where we
get orders to back to McDill.We're going back to Tampa. I did
not want to go back to Tampa, but we're back in Tampa. So
I had to sell the house,do a short cell on the house,
and start back life all over again. So then he go. He joins

(37:06):
a unit and it's called j.C. SC And Marcus, I'm one
of the reason I got out becauseI met it. He's in communications,
he's the telephone man. He's mytelephone. Oh and of course during you
know, during the you know,during that time, they always need their

(37:27):
telephone and calm people. So hewas with a unit where they were deployed,
three months home, four months,deployed, four months, you know,
back and forth. So that manhas like eight deployments, which is
on YouTube, but that's what whatwhat we did because of what he was
doing at the time. So atthat time, I was like, I'm

(37:51):
here still by myself. I gotthese children, this man gone, I
need to do something with myself.So I decided to go back to school.
So I'm going to school, gettingmy bachelor's and doing and managing this
household, you know, with myhusband being gone most of the time.
So that's what you do, whatyou have to do. And and it

(38:14):
was I'm not going to say itwas easy going to school at night,
working all day because at that timeI got a job back and working in
the hospital back at McDill and whatwas I was working in the chief of
staff office there, so doing doingthat and it was like, oh my
gosh, this is a lot.So did Marcus know about your son that

(38:42):
you had given up for adoption?Yes, don't have always known. I
have never kept that a secret fromthem or Marcus, because I think I
think a lot of times it mighthave been why I may have been a
lot of like very emotional something times, particularly around his birthday. His birthday

(39:02):
is January the thirteenth, so Ialways really really sad around that time because
of like, what is wrong withmy mother? Well, and you imagine
until you like, I think aboutpeople who lose their children. And even
though he was not hadn't passed away. It's still a loss, you know,
and it's like something that people saythat you don't necessarily get on.

(39:25):
It's almost like a death because he'snot there and you don't know where he
is. I don't know how he'sdoing. I don't, and I'm sure
I was always positive that he wouldbe fine because of who we let,
who we gave them him to.I wasn't worried about that. I just
didn't know where he was. Sothen as the children got a little older,

(39:46):
I would say, Jamal and Janet, they was like, Jane,
like, we're gonna help you findhim. So all of a sudden,
we're all, let's find them.We're gonna find them. We're gonna find
them. And I think, wherewere we at in Houston? So by
that time I had gotten out,We had been to Marcus, we got

(40:10):
out, came back, went toTampa. From Tampa to Las Vegas,
lived in Vegas for a while,and then Marcus got his orders to Korea.
So you need to enjoy that thatexperience, just like I had to.
I needed to do that. Sowhile he was in Korea, his
follow on assignment was in San Antonio, Texas. So went to San Antonio,
and I started working in San Antonioin the hospital there as well on

(40:36):
the d D side. So I'vebeen Jess for quite some time now.
So did but on the d Dside of the house, did credentialing in
prividens. I was like the chiefof that, that service for that for
a small clinic in San Antonio.Did that for a while and then I
said, hmm, I need toget my masters. So that's what we

(41:00):
did. But in the meantime wegot orders again left San Antonio. No
that, no K from Vegas andMarcus what happened? Then I decided one
day they was getting on my nervesso bad. I said I quit,
y'all can have this GS job becauseit's GS seven. Bye this I can

(41:21):
do bad all by myself. Andthen I was fortunate enough to get into
the Institute for Diversity Equity Inclusion.They have this program called the Summer Enrichment
Program, and it's a twelve weekprogram where you could go in and they'll
have you work at a hospital,any hospital throughout the United States's like a
little fellowship program. And you know, I was blessed to come on at

(41:45):
the Phoenix VA and that so Iup and left my family because I was
on socio on for twelve weeks,so I left them in San Antonio.
I went to Phoenix to work.Twelve weeks turn into three months, four

(42:06):
months, five months, six months. They kept me and they was able
to keep me on and then Ieventually got a job in Tucson, and
then I moved to Tucson, andthen Marcus got orders to Colorado Springs,
so we swapped out, took thekids and with me, brought them to
Tucson with me, and then hewent to Colorado by himself. Cometime,

(42:30):
Marcus, Hey, it's twenty years. What we do. I'm tied of
Tucson. I'm not a West Coastperson. Loved to view beautiful facility,
but I need to come back east. So we decided that we were going
to retire in Texas. So Igot the job first. So I got

(42:53):
a job in Houston at the HoustonVA and Marcus went on to put a
term and then he came eventually cameto Houston. So Houston is home for
us. I couldn't do Dallas againbecause I can't be up there with your
family because they're crazy, sir.I love them, but they are crazy

(43:14):
and we are doing that. We'renot doing that. I think it's far
away. It's only three hours away. You can get to your mama quick
if you need to, or yourdaddy quick. And then my sister lives
in San Antonio, and if Ineed to get over there, I can
get there quick. But we cannotand we will not live in Dallas.
I'm sorry, No, I'm notdoing that. So eventually moved to Houston.

(43:39):
Then my thing there for a while, work systems redesigned, so my
masters is in healthcare administration as well. Okay, okay, okay, masters,
and then I am going to getmy pH d. I've decided gratulations.

(44:04):
I can't do Lord, that mademe cringe. I can't do it.
But congratulations to you. Yeah.Wow. My siblings says like she's
forever in school, She's forever doingsomething about it, because I mean,
I think I want to teach eventually. So this year actually coming up will

(44:29):
be ten years since I've reconnected withmy son. Okay, so go back,
go back. You were trying tocall the parents for months and they
were not answering, and then whatwhat happened? I get I sent him
a Facebook message because you were alreadyfriends, so we were friends on Facebook.

(44:55):
He just didn't know who I was. He had clue, and that's
when I found out they had nottold him that he was adopted. He
didn't know. He didn't know hewas adopted. So I put sing him
a message. I was like,Hi, my name is Carla, your
birth mother, you were born onthis day, blah blah blah, and

(45:20):
if you're interested, here's my phonenumber. He called me that day.
He called me that day and wehave been pretty much thick as thieves ever
since our first time that we andthat was the end of September. It
was about this time. Actually,it was about this time, and I

(45:43):
said, okay, when we're gonnameet, I need to see you in
person, face to face. Socome to find out, he was living
in Columbia, South Carolina for thepast twenty some years. There's a base
there. Fort Jackson is the namewith the base, the army base,
because there his family was in thearmy. You know, my mother lives

(46:04):
in Charlotte. They have been anhour and a half away from them all
this time. And didn't I know, Wow, I had no clue.
So I met him. It wasthe Halloween of that year, I flew
from Houston to Columbia. I didn'tknow what to expect, so I went
to his parents' house first, thinkingthat he would meet me there. He

(46:29):
didn't want to meet there. He'slike, no, I don't want to
do this in front of my parents. I think he didn't want his mother
to know, his adoptive mother toknow how excited he was, so he
didn't tell them that he was meetingyou. No, no, he did.
Everybody knew what was going on.But we were waiting for him at

(46:50):
the house and then he was like, no, I don't want to meet
there, Let's meet at your hotel. I was like, oh, okay,
hey. And when he walks inthe door, I look at we
just stare at each other because youknow, I could see me and him,
and he can see his self onme. Because all of my children

(47:14):
have my eyes, that's one.There is not one that do not.
And if you've seen me before,you know I have some very distinct eyes.
Like my eyes have an agent typeof feel to them. All of
my children MM. And I knewhe was and I looked at him.
I was like, oh my god, he looks like my uncle. He
looks like my dad's brother, youngerbrother, and to the point where he

(47:36):
looks like more like like my unclemore than his my uncle's children look like
my Like, Wow, that's allthe story of this stuff. We're gonna
talk about me. That's what helooks like to me. He really does.
And we spent that weekend together.It was amazing. It was almost

(47:57):
like he'd be like like you haveyour then moment, like, oh my
god, like it's really him,it's really me, and we're sending her
chilling. He meets my mother,We go to dinner together for just us
too, so we just us time, and I meet his girlfriends because he's
a bad one like you. OhLord, not true, but you do.

(48:25):
And then my mother comes down andI think it was really hard.
One thing I'm about to say,it was really hard on her. It's
an hour and a half from Charlotte'shere. Why why are taking you two
hours? What you're doing? Shehadn't stop because she was so emotional.
May have felt guilty because she madethe decision for me to give him a

(48:45):
fur adoption, and that he notonly he is he her first grandson,
but he is also the first greatgrandchild on my mother's side, like my
grandmother's old, this grand great grandchild. So he's the first grade and he's

(49:07):
been gone all this time, andso that year my family we are very
kind of close, so we alwaysdo things together. And this that year
we had planned on going to Tennesseeto go to Pigeon Forge to go out
to the mountains for New Years asa family. So that year he got

(49:29):
it was right before his birthday.He got to come and he got to
meet his sisters, his brother,his aunts and uncles and my mom.
When he came up to the cabinand hung out with us, and we
all kind of bonded that it wasit was good. Yeah, good.
What was going on with his parentsand stuff during all this time? I

(49:52):
don't know. It was the weirdestthing. It's like, why would you
not stay connected to us? What? What did I do? But what
did you think that I was?Because I and one thing that I can
say that sometimes religion, and it'sfine to be that way, but at
the same time, don't be sojudgmental. Don't be so hard on people

(50:15):
who are not I guess as religiousas you are, and I think they
didn't know what to expect of whatthey thought I would turn out to be
or what have you. And Iguess it was their way of protecting him
as their son. I don't know, because my mother was really upset with
them too about the whole situation.But we handled it well. And then

(50:36):
when I went to his adopter's mother'shouse, I didn't even realize how close
my mother was to this woman.I go in her house and I'm looking
like, this looked like my mamahouse, because every piece of stuff that
you haven't here, my mother hasn'thers. We went talking out. We
have a lot of Asian feel like, we got a lot of the first

(51:00):
the bamboo stuff, and I'm lookinglike my mama got there, you got
that. I'm just looking like,what in the world, Okay, this
is a little more deeper than Ithought or knew. And I know she's
upset with the like she was alittle upset because they did lose touch.

(51:21):
I mean, it's hardly like aswe in the military, and we we
we go from place to place.We got good friends and sometimes we lose
contact with people. One thing Ican say is Facebook has done that for
me, is really reconnected me tomy military family, and really at this
point time, it's probably no placethat I can go. People talk about
me all talking about here and nowhere. Everywhere you go, you know somebody,

(51:44):
because I've been everywhere for all mylife, you know, since I
was a little girl. That's allI know. When I when I married,
my mother came in military and mystepdad. I was like five or
like six or seven years old.So I don't know anything else but traveling.
So people like now, I staya place for three or four years

(52:06):
and after I gotta go, Ican't do it. I'm looking, get
out of here. It's time forme. You go somewhere, because I
can't do this because I get boredor I get whatever, and not necessarily
with the people, but I'm justlike I just need something else or I'm
looking. I can't explain it,but yeah, but now we're really good

(52:27):
at Actually last weekend I was withhim in Colombia. I had gone to
an event down there, this thingcalled Dinner on Beruk and it was in
Colombia. And so while I'm everytime I go to Colombia, I always
make it a point to go spendtime with him and when I so we
had brunch last Sunday, hanging outdoing our normal, normal thing, and
I just laughing and tell my boy, you getting old. You're about to

(52:49):
be thirty nine next year. Wasn'twhere he's going to be thirty nine.
And most people are tell to havea thirty nine year old, like what
is the worst old? They'd belike, what's the secret? I just
keep it moving, you know,Like right now, I try to really

(53:10):
not be so stressed, particularly withthe job that I have now. It's
a lot when you're when you're helpingsomebody manage healthcare systems all of the vas
in North Carolina and in Virginia andjust really all the stuff that happens,
and we have a lot of differentthings going on, and a lot of

(53:32):
our people are in the media rightnow, so it can be a little
stressful. And then people people notdoing what they need to do. And
I feel like sometimes I'm just justthe babysitter or making me feel like mom
my, daddy and I and thatI am not. I have four children,
I have three grandchildren. I'm good. I'm somebody grandma. You better

(53:53):
leave me alone. You're like,you're what, yes, all, I'm
somebody used a grandmother, I'm agreat aunt. I was like, oh
my gosh, but I you know, I just I just tell people living
my best life. You know,if I hadn't joined, if I hadn't

(54:15):
all the things that happened, Ithink. I feel like they all happened
for a reason. I think thatBrandon is here for a reason, and
he came into my life for areason, and then giving him up for
adoption. If I wouldn't have donethat, and I would have kept him,
I wouldn't have been able to jointhe military. If I wouldn't have
been able to join the military,then I wouldn't have met my first husband

(54:38):
and had those two children, andthen met my second husband and had my
last baby. So I thank Godfor the blessings and hindsight. When I
was that young, I never wouldhave thought that. But well sometimes you
could come to North Carolina too,because Marcus, he is so sweet.

(54:59):
That's my love. Love. Marcusmade his his rub, his his rub
that he puts on the on theribs and stuff. He made it up
for me but won't tell me what'sin it and left it here in North
Carolina. So what I do iswhen I do barbecue or whatever, I
go, take that rub, putit on there. You know, because

(55:19):
when we barbecue, it's an event. That means that's not we do the
same day. So if I'm goingto barbecue on Saturday, I start on
Wednesday. That means we gotta cleanthis meat. You gotta clean. Let
me take that that. If youhaven't ribs, please take that little film
thing, take it off, cleanribs. Take that off because your ribs

(55:40):
and you ain't supposed to bite throughthat barbecue. And then I put put
the rub on there, and Ican't tell you what else we do,
and let it sit for a coupleof days, and then by said Saturday,
when we're ready to cook, letme tell you them. But them

(56:04):
ribs are so tender, fall offthe bone. You don't even need no
sauce. So really, and don'tlet it be. Don't let him do
a brisket. Oh look, that'sa whole like it takes hours to cook
the brisket. Sixteen So I don'tknow, I ain't gonna lie. I
don't know how many hours, butI know it's all It's an all night
thing for him. So this year, we're hosting Thanksgiving for my family in

(56:30):
Houston, so I'll be going toHouston a couple of weeks ahead of time
to get everything ready. And we'redoing the meats. So we're gonna be
doing a brisket. We're gonna bedoing a turkey on smoking a turkey and
smoking a ham. And yeah,it's it's it's gonna be quite the true.
And I'm just looking forward to mymother, my stepdad and all my

(56:54):
siblings on my mom's side will bewith me in Texas and they're coming.
They're coming to eat. So andof course I'm expected to make a peach
cobbler and I gotta make a bananapudd Okay, I can't make it for
Thanksgiving, but the day after orwhat like, save me a plate?

(57:20):
I need a plate, or wecan just come up. What's the next
time that you want to listen?I need the invite, Like my mouth
is just watering. Yeah, familyyet, but you have to introduce them
to your adopted daughter. Don't worry. They used to be bringing people home.

(57:42):
They be like, okay, whocarl it breaking car? But you
are more than welcome. They alwayslove all my friends. They be like,
your friends are so cool? Isay, and I know this to
be true, what you mean,but it's quite I mean, life is
crazy sometimes, but you know,sometimes you gotta stop and sit back and

(58:02):
look upon it. And I waslaughing because last week I went to go
visit my mother. It was herbirthday on Monday, and I always like
to give her her flowers while she'salive. So they they their thing is
every time you come home, Carlo, you find the most beautiful flowers to
bring to your mother. And Ido, I said, because I know
what my mama likes, forgive herwhat she needed. She just had,

(58:24):
you know, a little medical proceduredoes and she wasn't one hundred percent.
So I said, I have togo lay eyes on this little lady.
Let me go look at this littlelad because my mother is short. I
think I'm the tallest and I'm onlyfive seven and all the rest of them
people in my family are five sixand under, so particularly the girls.

(58:45):
Now the boys they're tall, butthem girls, they little. I'd be
like, you know, I cansee the top of your head. Yeah
I can't, but no, andI still, you know, give her
her flowers because that's all you cando. And I tell people and I
celebrate her. One thing I alwaystry to do let people know that.
You know, with my family andmilitary, you know a lot of times

(59:08):
they only look at the males.And I have that problem all the time,
particularly if I'm with Marcus. They'lllook at him and look over me
as if I wasn't a veteran too, and then they be like she's a
veteran to yes, so women leaveveterans too and I And that's one thing
that I really really harp on andreally get upset about sometimes because I was

(59:29):
like, I want my desk outtwo on Veterans Day. Yeah, right,
me alone. Right, We cango on talking, but I want
to ask you one more question aswe're talking about the mother. We been

(59:51):
talking so much, I forget whatwe were doing the podcast because you are
I love talking to you. Butso, did you ever feel like any
resentment or any like just type ofway for your mother when you know she

(01:00:12):
said, okay, you're giving thisshout up for adoption and through the years
and if so, how did youlike overcome that how did you rebuild that
relationship with her? So the answeris yes, and it was probably I
probably rebelled a little bit because ofit, because after I had after I

(01:00:34):
had Brandon. I actually left mymother and went to go stay with my
father. It was just very strainingfor for me. I just couldn't.
I was just so angry for awhile. You know, it was like,
I'm mad, I want my baby. My life is all turned upside

(01:00:55):
down, and how do you forgetthat you had this child? Like and
I think after I had them,they weren't supposed to do it, but
they brought the baby to me andso I got to hold him, oh
and bonding to a certain thing,and then you take it away. And
for a long long time I wasreally angry with her, and she could

(01:01:21):
tell because I would come home everynothing and then. But it wasn't nothing
that I was really sharing my life, Like when I even got married to
Hirasio. My mama didn't know Igot married. When I got married to
Marcau she you know I got married. You just come on what exactly?
And that was part of it.But I think it came a time when

(01:01:45):
I realized that you that I have. If I wanted to be happy,
I was in charge of my happiness. Nobody else could dictate whether or not
I was happy or not. Ihad to take it over. And be
like, you know what, you'regonna have to learn to forgive that lady,

(01:02:07):
and you forgive her for you,not for not for her. M
hmm. So that I can releasesome things and be like, well,
you know what, I let itgo. And we never have had the
talk about it. To be honest, it's like when I felt like,
for at one point in time,I was like the family secret. Nobody

(01:02:30):
knew I had the baby. Theyknew, but they didn't know. And
to know her is to know thatthey're very conservative, don't always talk about
all their tailors. Like you know, even when my mother gets sick or
something happened, she will not sharethat information. It's kind of like to

(01:02:51):
me trying to pull stuff out becauseyou know, they stick in and they're
always they're one of the like whatstays, what goes on in this house
stays in this house. And itwas difficult. I'm not gonna say it
wasn't, but at this point intime, I think it really trying to
like when I when I finally gotto have that meet my son, that's

(01:03:15):
when I kind of let it go. Mm hmmm. Because at this point
in time, she I always tellpeople when I when I look at things
or I try to point blame orplace blame, and you point your finger
at somebody, you always got tolook at the three fingers that are looking
that's pointing back at you. AndI always think about what did I do
to contribute to this? Mm hmmmhm, What could I have done for

(01:03:39):
me? Because people have no selfawareness of Wait a minute, I might
be in this predicament, but whydid I Did I in any way contribute
to this? And if you didown it, so was I getting fast?
Yeah? You were. Did youcompletely know what you was doing?

(01:04:04):
No? I didn't. But atthe same time, I contributed to this
whole domino thing that came. Soshe as a parent, sometimes I had
to look at it from her lens, and I knew how I felt when
my oldest daughter came back and toldme that she was pregnant. Was I

(01:04:24):
happy? No? I wasn't.What I did with her is different than
what my mother did with me.And I think sometimes you learned from how
you were treated and you'd be like, I'm not gonna do her like like
I was done. And I reallylearned to embrace it. You know,

(01:04:45):
understand that things happened, and youcan't always control your children, but you
can love them. So that's whatI do. I just shouted her with
love. And I think that mymother saw how I did dealt with my
daughter with this, and she understoodand then what she did. And I
think in a way she would kindof ask, like we like kind of

(01:05:11):
ask for forgiveness in a way,but without doing it. It's like like
her actions. But do you feellike y'all to have that, like that
transparent, authentic conversation. Do youfeel like you need that for the full
closure of it or you think you'rejust okay, you don't need it now.
I don't. I'm so up beyondthat right now because of the relationship

(01:05:36):
that I have with my son,and because it was almost like it's nothing
that I could do about yesterday.That's why I tell people, all,
I can't do nothing about yesterday,but I can do something about today,
and I could do something about rightnow. And with that, BEAR said,
that's how I chose to deal withit. But then again, my

(01:05:58):
mother is not one of those typeof other that's gonna be talking be all
in her feelings and no, thatis not her. So to me,
I was like, I ain't evengonna try to do all that because that's
not that's not she. She isnot that that that that person. Yeah,
not at all she. And thenwhen I we have talked and listen

(01:06:18):
to like some of her childhood traumasand things that happened to her, and
I'd be like, oh my god, I almost lived some of the same
things and experience, you know,some of the same things that she did
as well. So it just mademe understand her more. And once I
understood, you'd be like, youknow, what's the use. It's almost
like why we're gonna craw over somespilt milk. Yes, but I had

(01:06:41):
to go through my own journey toget to this place, you know.
And that's the thing about it.It's your journey, it's your how you
deal with it. And at thispoint in time, I forgave her and
I was like, we're gonna moveon because he's healthy, he's happy.
He so you know, he mademe another grandmother, grandchild number three,

(01:07:01):
and I'm I'm good and I thinkshe's in a good, good place with
with it as well. James isa part of the family. I mean,
he is there and we know that, we know where he is we
know that he's doing well. Yeah, were asked for because all these years
and then then once and I thinkalso another thing that triggered for me is

(01:07:26):
the fact that once he came back, that that emptiness, that hole,
it was filled. I know.I can tell you that it changed me
for the rest of my life,Like I no longer feel like there's something
missing yeah anymore. Yeah. Somy mother and I were good in a

(01:07:47):
good space now, and I thinkfor years we weren't because that was missing
and that was was was what wasthe issue. But once that was resolved,
I'm good. Yeah, life isgood. That's the best way.
I mean, I just need todo things, just focused on me because

(01:08:10):
I just realized, like in twentytwenty five, I'm going to retire.
That's when I'm first eligible to retire, and I'm doing it. Yeah,
So I was like, we're gonnaget past this year and a half or
so to go, and we're gonnalive our best life. And then and
also in twenty twenty five and thirtyyears of marriage for Marcus and I and

(01:08:31):
I've never had a wedding, neverhad a wedding. Oh, I didn't
have a wedding either, oh,okay, so you did the eloping thing.
I don't know if you want tothe justice. We're dealing with the
justice of the ki okay. Yeah, we went to the justice almost wow.

(01:09:00):
Well and almost almost thirty years yeah, almost thirty years late. We're
still together right now. For us, I have been away from him,
like living in a house with himfor five years now. When I left
Houston, I went to Nashville tobe the EA to the deputy network director

(01:09:25):
there, did that for two years, and then I came here to North
Carolina and I've been here for threeyears. So we've been, you know,
going back and forth. I gohome, he'll come here. And
we've been making it work. It'snot always easy, but we do what
we can to make it work becauseit's the hard thing. I was like,
and people tell me, how doyou guys do it? Because I

(01:09:46):
tell people because first of all,Marcus and I were friends. We're friends.
We genuinely like each other, likeyou ague with me and I ain't
gonna cut you in the throat,but you know, we know how to
get on these other's nerves. Butfor the most part, we're really good
friends. And I think that's helpedus out here because we'll sit there and
like we're doing now talk forever,and it's almost like and even though I'm

(01:10:12):
not home there in Houston, wemake it work. I mean, he
works for the VA now to helphim get on and he do his job
that he did when he was backat the military. But he's been doing
that for a while, so he'smister I t he's so they turned.
They think they they telephone man,but he's still called us telephone me.
And I think that's what I wouldgo in and have playing mister telephone man.

(01:10:40):
That's something the problem it But yes, we do that. Anything is
possible. I'll tell people all thetime, don't think it, haink.
I would have never thought after Igave him up that I would never see
him, and you know that peoplethink that all the time I will never
see But I am. I havebeen so blessed, and I have four

(01:11:01):
beautiful children, two boys, twogirls, and three lovely grandchildren that make
my life a little more complete.Man them boys, that that second boy,
that Jamal. The whole nother storyfor having adult children is not always
easy. And you and for somereason I thought it would be get easier

(01:11:24):
as they got older, but thatis not the truth. It gets a
little harder. Yeah, so much. It is always just a joy talking
to you. And I appreciate thosethose blessings and those little nuggets of knowledge
that you shared. And I'm justI'm praying for your family and I'm just

(01:11:45):
so happy for y'all and you knowthat everything is just coming around full circle.
So Jean, gradulations for your yearand a half, for this thirty
year marriage. I'm expecting the invitationto I have all of these expectations.
Barbecue and wait, okay, anddon't make it, make it happen.

(01:12:09):
You're gonna be like that dag onCarla. Yes I did. Yes,
We're gonna make it happen. Iwould love for you to come in part
in this craziness. And I'm laughingbecause I have my I have my Houston
Energy shirt on today. I usedto before I was going through a midlife
crisis and I decided that I wantedto play futtle contact football pads and all

(01:12:33):
at the age of forty nine becauseI was like, I'm about to turn
fifty. We're gonna be great.And we played football. What oh my
goodness. I I just always learnedmore and more about like you are just
so interested and amazing, like yes, okay, so I'll let you go,

(01:12:58):
but you know I'm gonna talk toyou, like I gotta find out
about this football. Ye girl,I have proof I have. It was
funny though, but I did itand just to say I did it.
And sometimes that's what it's like about. Sometimes I just step out on faith

(01:13:18):
and just be like, I'm gonnatry it, because I always tell people
you say, you can't say youdon't like something if you ain't never tried
it, right, So try it. You might like it sometimes. Thank

(01:13:41):
you for tuning in to this episodeof Uncle Sam's Daughter. We hope that
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(01:14:26):
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(01:14:49):
to listen to her because her storymatters.