Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I think being untethered is us reallyowning our difference. And we hear that
a lot right own it, butI think it goes It's so simple and
so profound in how owning our differenceit's really being extremely radically honest about who
we are, what works for usbut doesn't work for us, how we
(00:21):
want to live our life, whatour definitions of success balance, etcetera,
etcetera, etcetera. Is it's soeasy to just say, hey, I'm
different, or hey I know I'mdifferent, or there's something in me that
makes me different, or i'm misspit. But to want it and own it,
those are two different conversations. Andowning it it's about you really really
(00:45):
going into your psyche and asking yourself, Am I making this choice because someone
told me or someone in my pasttold me that I should? Or am
I really really making that antethered choice? Off? This is the decision that
I'm going to take today because thisis the best for me today. Hey,
(01:10):
it's way and you're listening to Untetheredand Prosperous, the podcast where we
focus on the two biggest things Passionate, purpose driven entrepreneurs need to untether to
become wildly prosperous and successfully happy.And those two huge anchors are bad money
stories and chronic self sabotage. Sowhat we do is have real and inspiring
(01:32):
conversations with amazing entrepreneurs who have donejust that. So get ready to get
untethered and get prosperous. Hey,it's way and welcome to another episode of
the Untethered and Prosperous Podcast, whichis all about helping you untethered from the
shackles of what's been holding you backfrom your prosperous life. And those shackles
(01:56):
tend to be bad money stories orchronic self sabotage, which almost all of
us experienced. Now, once againwe have an amazing guest all the way
from the other side of the worldrelative to me, of course, in
the Philippines, and I'm so excitedbecause she used to live in the country
where my parents came from. She'sknown as the business coach for misfits.
(02:19):
I loved that because who's not amisfit ball, maybe because I grew up
as a misfit. Her name isMaria Tan, also no one as Maria
Kathleen Tan, and she empowers nonconformistsacross the globe to embrace the magic of
running your own business and creates successtailored to their lifestyles. Before coaching online,
she was a cross cultural business andcommunications consultant who worked with executives from
(02:44):
all over the world and coached overone thousand professionals. She's She's been seen
in Forbes, Entrepreneur, Huffington Postor huff Post as they call it today,
Elephant Journal, Picked the Brain andAddicted to Success, and was the
only Asian woman featured in The MoneyCode and How to Crack It, which
is a book that debuted at numberfourteen on Amazon Now. Maria's one thousand
(03:07):
plus clients range from side hustlers andwho hasn't ever had a side hustle before
right to get them to become newentrepreneurs to become two seasoned entrepreneurs. Whether
you're just starting to consider becoming yourown boss or looking to scale an establish
business, it's important to focus ormaybe refocus on the crucial components that set
(03:28):
you up for success. There's somuch more, But instead of me just
reading all about her, let's goahead and bring her on the show.
Maria, Welcome to the show.Thank you for having me. Way and
like he said, your name isso unique because it's kind of like you
take up the eye and it becomesa wee. And I know that this
is your mission in life to createa wei where we all win, we
(03:53):
all succeed, we all thrive.So I'm really excited to be here.
Thank you for that. And youknow, it's so funny that you mentioned
that because our main corporate entity isthe acronym is we actually wonderfully empowered?
Right, And so it's all aboutthe wee conversation. I think it was
really important that it came up alot. I think you and I talked
(04:14):
about previously during the whole pandemic andeverything like that. I was saying,
Hey, everybody's having this me conversation, this me, me me, this
me me me, that we needto come together and think about we right.
And so that's kind of what thewhole direction I appreciate you taking off
the I'm making say hey, lookyou're relevant, You're irrelevant. We way,
yes, exactly. And it's somagical how your name it's already symbolic
(04:38):
of your mission here on Earth andto really wonderfully empower humans across the globe.
Wow. I mean I thought,this is my podcast interviewing you.
You're making me blush already. Okay, enough about me, So let's get
the framework. Because, as youknow, our podcast is called The Untethered
(05:00):
and Prosperous Podcasts, and everybody hastheir own definition what that is, and
it's always important for our audience tosee just where you're coming from when it
comes to that. So, Maria, how would you define what it means
to become untethered from your perspective andhow you maybe have done become untethered from
things in your life. I thinkbeing untethered is us really owning our difference.
(05:21):
And we hear that a lot,right own it, but I think
it goes It's so simple and soprofound in how owning our difference it's really
being extremely radically honest about who weare, what works for us but doesn't
work for us, how we wantto live our life, what our definitions
(05:41):
of success balance, et cetera,et cetera. Is it's so easy to
just say, hey, I'm different, or hey I know i'm different,
or there's something in me that makesme different, or i'm misspit. But
to want it and own it,those are two different conversations and owning it.
It's about you really really going intoyour psyche and asking yourself, Am
(06:06):
I making this choice because someone toldme or someone in my past told me
that I should? Or am Ireally really making that untethered choice of this
is the decision that I'm going totake today because this is the best for
me today. Hmm. I lovethat, I mean, and I love
(06:27):
what you said that radically honest becausethere is a book called Radical Honesty which
I have and I bought multiple timesand keep losing it for some reason.
But yeah, I know, Ilove this this definition that you have about
you know, truly owning yourself byuntethering or challenging what that thought processes of
is this truly what you want?Or is it something you've been tethered to
(06:48):
and now you have to untether fromto really reveal what it is that you
want Exactly's almost like it's almost it'svery meta almost, And you know,
I think a lot of people willhear that and say, well, yeah,
easier said than done, And Ithink that's or they would or they
would actually think, yeah, butI've been doing that, you know,
like I'm sure for you, likefor me, a lot of my clients
(07:11):
are misfits or they self identify assuch, and when they come to me,
they say, hey, Maria,but I know what I want.
I know I'm different, I knowwhat I want. But when you really
go into the new one says ofthings, onto the details of things,
it's they would be kind of likeblindsided. They'd be struturing. They it
would be so hard for them toreally articulate what success is, what's really
(07:35):
the issue. So so for me, it's like you said, it's easier
said than done. But a lotof people are also operating on the other
end of yes. But I've beendoing that. I've been owning my difference.
I don't care what people think,and if you really dissect their life,
it's not as true as they thoughtit is. Oh, so you're
(07:58):
saying, what, so let mesee if I hear this right. What
you're saying is that there are peoplethat are already saying that, and what
you're saying that that may not necessarilybe as true as they think it is.
Yes, and the deeper work requiresto go even further, even deeper
than just saying well, I alreadydo that and says well, I think
one of the measures, like youwere saying, is and I think it's
(08:22):
a great segue to defining what itmeans to be prosperous, because there are
people say, well, I amalready doing that. Well, let's look
at your life. Is it themost prosperous lives that you have? Right?
So, so before we dive evendeeper, because I know this is
going to open up a whole kindof warms of a conversation, let's then
talk about what does it mean tobe prosperous for you? For me,
I think it's both and definitely andprosperous. It's the same when we own
(08:46):
a difference, we become really liberatedto be ourselves. And me, when
we are ourselves, we're prosperous.How can we not prosper if we are
exactly how we're meant to be,exactly how we're meant to live our lives.
Just imagine that, because that kindof like really puts things into perspective.
(09:07):
You say yes to the things thatare really yes for you and not
to the things that are really knowfor you. And a lot of the
things that create wealth for us isactually elimination. A lot of people think
it's doing more. But being wealthyis not doing more. It's doing less
and achieving more. And we onlyget there when we really go into deducting
(09:31):
things from our to do lists andsaying, Okay, this is not the
way I want to do it,let me do it another way. So
it is about being liberated, havingour own freedom and grace to redefine things
for ourselves. Right. So,I think what you're saying is being prosperous
(09:52):
okay, or being you know,being more successful. Less is more meaning
you become more precise and more clearabout what it is that you want.
Would you say then that most peoplewant more than they actually need, and
they need less than actually what theywant. I think the question is are
(10:15):
they a need or want person?You see? Like me, I'm a
very want person. As long asI want something, I'll get it.
If I only think, oh Ineed I don't know I need to be
healthy. You know how often haveyou been in that conversation with yourself where
you go, I need to experficeright, right, But then when you
(10:35):
go into know I want to exercise, it now becomes a forward moving action
for you. On moving forward narrativewhere you actually take the action Yeah,
No, I love that because that'sexactly what I tell my series and clients.
I'm what you call a personal trainerfor a want gym, because most
people have a very actro feed weekwant muscle, and everything's that need.
(10:58):
Everything's that need, and then Isay, hey, let's go to the
want gym because we need to strengthenthat muscle again. Right, But so
so let's talk about that. Okay, So let me dive a little bit
deeper into the whole being prosperous thing. I love what you're saying. There's
like less, it's more because thatway I think what you're what I what
I pictured when you were saying thatwas someone saying, oh my god,
I simplify my life because everything thatI want more, what I truly want,
(11:22):
is only a fraction of everything thatI've listed before. Yeah, that
is that? Is that what you'resaying? Kind of like that exactly.
Think of it this way. Right. Let's say you you kind of like
want to travel, but most ofthe people instead of thinking I want to
travel to Paris on let's say fivestar like five star way all the way,
(11:43):
they start thinking of, oh Ineed a passport, Oh I need
money, oh, I need tolearn fringe. Oh I need to schedule,
you know, like all of thethings that they put on the to
do list, it all just kindof like goes to one big want of
traveling, traveling to Paris five star. Yeah, but the regular kind of
(12:09):
Like but if you if you reallylisten to people talking about their needs their
wants, they kind of like breakit down to so many nuances and that's
why they kind of like set themselvesup for failure because they get overwhelmed with
oh my god that I cannot travelbecause I don't have a passport. Oh
but I cannot travel to Paris becauseI cannot I don't know how to speak
(12:31):
French. Oh I cannot travel toParis because I don't have the money.
You know, there's it now createsthat narrative of everything is some day,
one day want instead of a timelineone meaning I want to do that next
year. Right. So I thinkwhat you're saying is that what they've done
(12:52):
is they introduce too many points offailure so that they can introduce excuses and
reasons for something to not happen,versus keeping your eye on the prize a
big picture. Yes, the thingokay. Interesting, And so when for
you specifically, how would you describeyour prosperous life, I mean you specifically
Maria's life, you know, howwould you define it to be prosperous?
(13:15):
You know, I consider myself prosperoustoday. I get what I want.
You know that everything that I needI have, and everything that I don't
have, I know I'll get.So for me, I considered myself bless
because I consider myself prosperous. Iknow I have access to everything that I
need. I know, I getwhat I want, and I have this
(13:39):
constant support system where that allows meto really go deeper into catching myself my
habits, because it's all in thehabits, right you think you're doing.
I'll give you a really a greatexample that I think a lot of your
listeners can relate to. You know, I've always had this belief about myself
(14:00):
that I am a healthy person,meaning I eat healthy. You know,
you know we're we're we're in thisnew generation, so of course we know
how to be healthy. Right,So since I started going you know,
quote unquote natural meaning no no chemicals, as much as possible, organic,
et cetera, et cetera, nochunk food. Um, I always have
(14:20):
this this belief that you know,my body self regenerates, so I actually
don't need medicine. I don't needthe Western you know, like everything everything.
I just kind of like I justneed to be um as uh,
you know, as as open aspossible, et cetera, E teter eteta.
But then the last few years,I've been getting sick, like you
(14:41):
know, like like I told youbefore I got Corona. Last year,
I almost died. And and that'sthe story. Like I've been getting sick,
like some some days i'd be justin bed, and there's a lot
of reasons i'd be extremely tired,et cetera. But I took an honest
look of my my life, rightlike I really really kind of like looked
at Okay, let's really dissect mylife today. And I realize, inasmuch
(15:09):
as I want to believe that I'ma healthy person, I have very unhealthy
habits because I sleep late. Andin the Chinese you know, if you
look at the Chinese medicine, youneed to sleep in time, like you
need to sleep at ten. ButI don't and I don't want to.
It's like exactly like I don't wantto, and at the same time,
(15:30):
inasmuch as I want to believe thatI eat, I don't know a b
zilian vegetables in one day, Idon't, right, So so actually that
realization it made me stop and reallykind of like laugh at myself and then
start really buying the supplements that Ineed, Vitamin B. Like I wasn't
taking vitamins for ten years. Novitamins, no, no doctor checked up,
(15:54):
nothing for me. If I feltlike weak or a little bit sickly,
I'd be just I try to mindover matter everything. And I'm not
saying that it doesn't work, butkind of like we have to kind of
like really have that reality that inas much as we want to believe the
best version of ourselves, let's reallyreally take an honest inventory of how really
(16:18):
living our lives. Are we reallythat version of us in our mind?
And if not, how can wemake the smallest adjustment to live that life
that we still aim today? Soif you ask me, what is that
version? I am prosperous today.I'm wealthy today because I can say I'm
sorry if I need to, Ican say I made a mistake. If
(16:40):
I need to, I can beokay with whatever mistakes that I make,
because I know that was the bestchoice that I could make at that time,
and more than anything else, Ican let go and just create a
new reality the next moment. Sofor me, I'm wealthy. Yeah.
I love that. And it kindof goes back to your definition what it
means to become untethered, right,and and what you're describing is what so
(17:04):
many of and I love that you'resharing that so vulnerably because so many of
us still kind of do that.We convince ourselves that we're doing all the
right things when in reality we've somehowstill are tethered to some kind of perception
in life. Yeah, what thatis We skew the reality to fit a
narrative, to avoid having to breakpatterns that no longer serve us, right
(17:26):
exactly. And it's so interesting theysay that, because you know, that's
that's why, you know, Ialways encourage people who are listening and say,
hey, there is value to havinga coach. There is value to
having a mentor. And I don'tme personally, I don't think I'll ever
be without a mentor coach again,because we do that to ourselves. We
(17:47):
create this like veil a perception ofreality that just is a little bit not
accurate, and it isn't until wehave someone to help pierce that veil and
open it up, like oh that'sright, Okay, yeah, okay,
yeah, this is what Yeah.But I want to so inasmuch as a
really really advocate for coaching because Iam in this space coaching and mentorship,
(18:10):
I also want to kind of likesay, it's not about the coach as
a form, it's rather that spacethat the coach creates. It's that space
that allows you to mirror back whatis really happening for you. Because for
me, like I might like I'veworked with different coaches and it's never like
somehow it just didn't fit. SoI have my own space that I have
(18:33):
kinesiology sessions every two weeks, andall the people that are within my sport
sism, even with my team,even in my family, we really really
advocate for honesty. It's like likefor me, I'd rather we scrap the
whole idea then we go and andwork on the idea that my team is
not supportive of. For me,that's really a waste of time. So
(18:59):
for me, I'd rather waste money, like I'd rather be okay, Maria,
And as much as we try tomake this work, I don't think
this new project is the best wayto go for us. Great, please
enumerate your points and as long asyou know for me honestly is the key.
And that part is hard because peopleare I don't know, like somehow
we've we've lived this life thinking wehave to filter the way we speak,
(19:23):
and it's not that we you know, like there's so much narrative in being
politically correct that sometimes I feel youyou try to kind of like emoji and
positive vibe everything, but sometimes youhave to say things as is. And
it's okay to just say, look, I've heard you say this one hundred
(19:48):
times, but where are you todayand what is stopping you? But first,
not many people have the courage tosay that. But second, not
many people have the courage to listento that too. Right, Well,
what I'm saying is that with theright coach, I mean, it's not
you just don't take any coach offthe street or everything like that, and
this and I draws the distinction.And it's great that we're talking about this
(20:11):
because it kind of calls out thewhole coaching industry. There's there's a lot
of coaches out there, but there'snot a lot of good coaches. Yes,
and there are people who are doingthe best, and they should kind
of own the fact that, hey, I'm still working on stuff and I'm
still figuring things out because I don'tthink a lot of people realize. And
this is me getting on my soapboxa little bit. I don't think people
(20:32):
realize that when you decide to becomea coach. And yet yet, and
yes, there's no governing body thatsays you need to go through these certain
steps to become a coach. Youcould literally wake up and say, hey,
I'm a coach, right, ButI don't think what people realize.
And this is just through like thealmost three decades of work that just how
profound of an impact a coach canhave on changing maybe even sometimes saving somebody's
(20:55):
life. Yeah, it's a hugecommitment and it's a huge responsibility that quite
frankly, not a lot of coachesare willing to go there, unwilling to
accept, and so they do justyou know, kind of surface work that
really isn't what most people need rightin order them to kind of get to
where they want to go. Soyes, and yeah, with the right
(21:18):
coach in place, Yeah, it'sall about honesty. It's all about like
you know, like illuminating the truthof what is going on right. So
yeah, and however we put ittogether because coach is a metaphor. You
know, it could be a mentor, it could be a family member,
it could be a neighbor, Itcould be the the service guy at the
(21:40):
gas station that is just pholosophically profound, you know, like in Jon Millman's
book, It could be anybody.And I think the important things as us,
as as as service providers and peoplewho are on this mission and purpose
to help people to really commit tohaving their awareness and be intentional about surrounding
ourselves with those people like you weresaying you're kinesiologist, your family members and
(22:02):
certain individuals in your life that youintentionally surround yourself with to make sure you
keep yourself in check. Yes,Yes, and that is very very important
because as like like what I wassaying earlier, inasmuch as we want to
believe that with social media we're connected, we're at the time in life where
(22:23):
we're actually the most disconnected. Likea lot of that's why a lot of
mental health issues are coming up rightnow because people are really feeling lost and
disconnected. It's not even being lost, it's being disconnected because somehow, despite
all of this the social media podcasts, it said a law, there's kind
(22:45):
of like so much barrier to honestconversations. Well, I think it's a
pendulum swing, right, like witheverything else. You know, years ago,
there was no social media, soeverybody it was all about getting out
side, playing outside, playing withyour friends. And then people realize,
you know, we're not getting thingas efficiently done, so we swing all
(23:07):
the way in the opposite direction.And now we're using social media like hyper
connect to save time, so thattry to kind of bridge that gap.
I think what's starting to happen moreand more now is we're it and this
is just kind of like human evolution, right, we just technology and everything.
We just kind of keep swinging thatpendulum until eventually we find this homeostasis
place where it's kind of like thislike sweet spot, right, And I
(23:29):
see a little bit of that happening. People are saying, okay, great,
let's use social media to then connectin person. Right. We create
the initial connection so that it leadsto us connecting in person. Right.
So, a couple of weekends ago, we just had our very first live
event for one of our one ofmy businesses that we haven't had since before
the pandemic. And it was nicebecause we used social media to coordinate to
(23:53):
make sure everybody's on the same page, but then we all met in person.
So yeah, So I think Ithink more and more as we wake
up to these things that what you'retalking about, Yes, it's a systemic
problem. People are starting to moremore realize that. Okay, Okay,
as much as we think this isconnection, it's not enough. We need
to add on another layer of realhuman interaction, right, And so so
(24:17):
I think, you know, Ithink the last couple of last few years
has really kind of shed light onthat. And that's why I think more
people are willing to kind of stepout of that and break away from that.
And you know what's ironic is wehear all this language and narrative about
being vulnerable, like being vulnerable isan expact, being vulnerable is a key
(24:38):
whatever. But I think a lotof people are so scared of being intimate,
and intimacy is not just about romanticrelationship I think intimacy is really about
you being present in a relationship withsomeone, whether that's with your family member,
with your spouse, but even asa coach and coaching in your business,
to be real as present as possible, and to have that vulnerability and
(25:03):
not see that as a as aweakness, as a blind spot, but
rather as a means for better connections, better opportunities, better creations to happen.
I think that is what's missing rightnow. Hmm, yeah, because
what has happened. We're so usedto all these distractions and everything that our
brain starts to mimic that, andso then we have, like you know,
(25:26):
in our mind, we have multiplechannels open all the time, multiple
tabs, multiple tabs open, justlike I have, you know now.
Fortunately, when I do my podcast, you know, this is what I've
learned to do. Close everything.I just have one thing open, one
person I'm talking to, and that'sit, you know. And this is
why I kind of love doing thesetypes of things. So because if I've
(25:49):
created a systematic way to just disconnectfrom the world, that this is my
world right now in this conversation withyou, and I'm not thinking about anything
else, you know, And Ithink this is kind of what you're talking
about. And though we are,you know, thousands of miles apart,
it doesn't matter because in that moment, energy doesn't care about space or time.
It's right there. It's that connection, right. So, yeah,
(26:11):
I knew we were going to godeep on a whole bunch of different things.
And I want to make sure thatthe audience actually knows, like,
what the heck does this girl do? Because you know, she sounds amazing,
she has she has all these differentinsights, and what is this thing
that she does with her misfits?So you've gone through a big journey,
and what I really want to knowis, and I kind of give you
an opportunity to kind of share tothe audience who's probably going to be like,
(26:32):
what does she do? What doesshe do for her audience? And
what have you've done? Tell usa little bit about where you are today
living your purposeful, wealthy life andwhat is it that you had to untether
from you think the biggest untethering thathad to happen for you to have all
that you have today. You know, so since young I knew I was
(26:52):
a misfit, like you said,many people know they're different somehow, but
to own that that's hard, meaningto be okay being criticized, to be
okay being gas lit. So mywhole life, that was the narrative,
Like just imagine right, being Asian, conservative, family, conservative, everything,
and I think the yeah, exactlylike for you on the shore.
(27:17):
But but for me, like whatreally really set me apart was I was
able to monetize very young, soyou know, I was selling, I
was making money at the age ofsix. I was already consulting at the
age of eighteen, so you know, I was financially independent. And because
of that, I think in Asiaand money plays a big role. I
(27:40):
know that it doesn't buy us happiness, but it gives us so much options.
It's you know kind of like everytime a thought comes to me like
oh my god, my mother isgoing to this own, I just think,
no, but I have money,so if she goes into the street,
I'm not going to live on thestreet. I know it sounds so
so, so so funny, butfor me, that was always the narrative.
For me, like I never reallyworried about kind of like being homeless
(28:04):
or or so that's why it alsogave me the courage to just go for
what I want because I know thatwhatever happens, I can monetize, I
can be resourceful. It's okay too, And that I feel is the the
way like my family accepted me otherwise. Loud, boisterous little girl, don't
(28:27):
forget I'm a girl. And youknow, you know, this is a
different era, right, We're intwenty twenty two. I was. I'm
a millennial. I was nineteen eightyseven. It was more nineteen eighty seven.
Just imagine how the narratives were rightfor someone, for for a girl
to be so vocal, so soassertive. It's you know, like it's
(28:48):
like, how did that happen?So? Well? Yeah, in the
Asian culture, of course, Imean that's I mean, that's what we're
talking about here, right, Imean where you lead with the money.
You know, you go to familyfunctions and they compare how great the kids
are doing that are grown up,by how much money they're bringing in,
(29:10):
how much money they're making, howmuch money they're sending home, etcetera,
etcetera, etcetera. All these ageold cultural traditions and quite frankly bad money
stories that then you know, hasyou living a life well, well,
your catch all is like, well, I have enough money, I can
monetize. I have enough money tomonetize exactly. And see, despite all
(29:33):
that, because I was so goodat making money from a young age,
right, I had that narrative ofpeople love me just because of that.
And I know it sounds so silly, but we all know it doesn't like
yeah, you know, but Imean it's that's the narrative of you know,
I'm worthy because I'm worthy because soso upon. Kind of like when
(29:57):
I was in my mid twent zy, I kind of like tick off all
the boxes that I thought I wanted. So you know, I was I
could afford a courtier every day ifI want to. Uh, you know,
I worked for the I was intrade, like I was really in
commerce. I was doing different businessconsulting. I worked for the government in
(30:18):
business in trade. Okay, sothe whole thing about commerce I've done.
I've consulted with so many people FMCG, retail, gas, et tea.
And then one day I was sosomething was missing in my life and there
was that void, and I thinkit was that moment when I realized there
was really nothing else to prove,nothing else, like I've gotten what I
(30:41):
wanted everybody, everything that people toldme that I couldn't. I had considering
a woman a Filipina and living indifferent countries that kind of like had the
narrative that Filipinos are only male orderrides or domestic helper. I've been,
on the other hand, you know, the other side of being sterial tiped
(31:04):
many many ways. So I've kindof like gotten to the point where,
Okay, I've done everything, I'vegotten everything that I wanted. What's next.
I think what's next is me realizingthat my purpose is fully embracing my
life and fully owning that difference andhelping people realize that, because at the
(31:30):
end of the day, the gapbetween people becoming and embracing their difference is
that knowledge that whatever happens, theycan monetize. That's why many people go
to I don't know, work thatthey don't like because they think they cannot
make money otherwise. Isn't it sadthat you would see, you know,
(31:52):
we're talking about Untefford, and youkind of like shackle yourself to a job,
to school, to a partner,to whatever circumstance because of money,
because of money or opportunity But whatif the only thing that you need is
to be one hundred percent you Andthen think of the money part, you
(32:15):
know, like people think of itdifferently, right, they think I need
to make money before I can behappy, before I can be But what
if the switch there is you allowingyourself to be honest about yourself, meaning
what's your strength, what's your weakness, what are you good at, what
are you bad at? What comesso naturally to you? And then apply
(32:35):
the strategy of monetizing really understand howcan I monetize this? You know,
Okay, I'm so multifasted, I'mso multi talented, you know, I
don't know how to call myself.I'm not just this, I'm not just
that. But then you have toreally go deeper into what's the essence that
you bring to the table and whatmakes you unique and really articulating that.
(32:58):
But I feel a lot of peoplereally feel very reluctant to to to articulate
that because we're so used to lettingpeople decide for us. How often do
you go to a restaurant and tellthe waitress, Okay, what's what's the
best thing here? And then okay, I'll get that, Or how often
(33:19):
do you tell I don't know,a partner, a friend, hey,
please order from me. How oftendo we do that because we're thinking,
oh, I know, I wantto save time. But observe how often
you do that. Observe how oftenyou eat food that you don't like just
because you feel embarrassed to returning thefish, or just because you know,
(33:44):
just because oh, I bought itso I don't want to waste it.
So just imagine if you're that's veryChinese. By the way, don't yeah,
don't yes and eat everything even ifyou're everything exactly exactly. But let's
see, just imagine that small thingthat you do. Imagine how if you're
tolerating something as simple as food,something as simple as basic as food,
(34:08):
as you know, ordering for yourself, imagine what else you're tolerating in your
life. How many more conversations haveyou compromised on? So for me,
that's those are the things that Ireally untethered from. Just to stop thinking
of I need to keep achieving formyself. Right now, I'm focused on
helping others achieve. Focus on helpingothers really really break those limitations, break
(34:35):
those glass ceiling, and focus onreally embracing their uniqueness and understanding that whatever
faults that they think they have,it's not a fault. It's an opportunity
for growth. It's an opportunity tocreate something different. It's an opportunity to
embrace that. So for me,all of that is what I've untethered.
(34:58):
And to answer next question about whatelse should I or have I been untethered
from, it's that realization that's mywhole life. I've been a misfit my
whole life. It's not you know, I don't. I would never consider
myself as an underdog, just becausemy presence is very, very bold.
(35:20):
But but but I've always been theminority, and all my life people tried
to make me feel less bad.I never agreed to there. You know,
I'm the type of person that doesnot just take on people's definition,
but the number of times people havemade me feel less bad, I never
ever want that for other people.And I realized that maybe the last few
(35:43):
years I've been so focused on notmaking people feel less bad that I've somehow
materialized getting sick as well, youknow, so that I don't kind of
like grow the you know, likethen then I become more superior atou and
just catching myself with that, Ikind of like sat back and think,
(36:07):
but that's not me. Whatever happens, I have a very bold personality.
Like you walk in a restaurant,you know it's me because I'm loud and
boisterous. You know it's me becauseyou know the waitress would be like,
okay, we've changed this, changedthat from your orders. You know it's
me because I'm very specific about whatI want and how I wanted. But
(36:29):
you also know it's me because Iyou know, i'd be you know,
having fun with the waitress, withthe wait stuff. I'd be you know,
kind of like telling jokes, etcetera, et cetera, because that's
me. I'm just a person who'svery honest with who I am, what
I want, what I don't want, and I would never ever intend to
(36:50):
make people feel less that and thatrealization kind of like made me feel whoa.
That's why, That's why I've beencreating that sickness the past few years.
That's why maybe unconsciously I was,you know, kind of like putting
myself back from going bigger, dreamingbigger, or really really taking faster action.
(37:14):
It's because I subconsciously, there's thatnarrative that if I do that,
I leave other people behind, rightand right, And I think, I
think what you're describing right there iswhat a lot of people get caught up
in, which is you're so focusedon what's wrong and what's not working for
your clients that almost end up kindof embodying that as a way to continue
(37:36):
to focus on that energy. It'slike you're you're like, look at that
Pooh, look at that Pooh,and then you're just like lying in the
pooh. Yeah, and then yourbody metaphorically tells you, hey, by
the way, you're sleeping in pooh. Yes, yes, yes, And
that's what I think. That's whatwe have to constantly do a check in
(37:57):
on so that we remain prosperous anduntempered. Otherwise, it's so easy to
let certain narratives rule our lives,our day to day, our decisions.
Yeah, And I think this isa very powerful thing that you just shared
For a lot of people who arecoaches listening to this program, or who
(38:17):
are in the service industry where theyspend a lot of their time convincing,
so to speak, or selling thenegative side of things. The problem to
the audience and not spending enough timeto really kind of say, okay,
now that you understand that, letme show you by demonstrating to you what
(38:40):
it means to be on the otherside, right, And I think that's
what keeps a lot of people stuck. And like you said, like in
your particular case, it showed upand you getting sick and you're like,
what's going on? Why am Igetting sick? Ye have this perception of
myself And it's because we spent wespent too much time immersing in that funk
key energies energy state. Right,So very cool. I love that.
(39:05):
And so here's the big question nowthat you've untethered from that and you're at
this cool place right now where youstop working at businesses or jobs that you
know really isn't exact fit for you, even though you're able to monetize everywhere
you go. So it sounds likeyou've been able to create as our culture
would like to see it as success, right, financial success in different areas.
(39:27):
You've stepped into a place obviously thatis the more resonant to your passion
to your purpose. What would yousay right now because right now you're working
with clients, misfits, entrepreneurs,and you're working in a coaching consulting capacity,
right, what would you say isthe next big leap for You's what's
big because you've got a six figurebusiness right now and you're probably wanting to
(39:47):
go bigger so you can help morepeople. What does that look like?
And more importantly, what would youhave to untether from to make that happen?
So for me, I don't needto know what al because I am
untethering from it, which is thefear of leaving people behind. I think
that's really really big. So forme, it's more of that. When
(40:09):
it comes to what the next levellooks like for me, it's seven figures,
but in terms of like form,I think it's really really serving a
wider audience. So for me,like, the goal this year is really
to keynote more so I've been likebefore COVID, I was flying to give
(40:30):
speeches, but now I want toreally up that level. Right, Very
cool? And what do you thinkis the biggest untethering that if you were
to untether from that today, thenwhat that big leap would be? It
would be it would be like rightnow, it would be like tomorrow I
think for me, it's really trainingmy physical body because I've realized with myself,
(40:52):
I've created my life to be soeffortless and so easy that I think
my body is so comfortable being comfortable. I'll give you an example. The
weekend we were on Easter. Weyou know, we had Easter. We
were on a pilgrimage, and youknow, we were in the car for
like six hours. You know,I was really like, you know,
(41:15):
you just catch yourself and you're thinking, oh my god, yeah, I'm
here, and you know, Ifeel tired after et etetera. But then
isn't that what I want to travelto give speeches? So am I going
to complain about a six hour tripto give a speech? You know,
like that's ridiculous. So for me, it's really about preparing my body to
(41:37):
be as agile as possible. Soright now, what I'm doing, like
on a practical level, of course, the vitimates, supplements, exercise,
but I'm kind of like scheduling shorttrips like three three days here, three
days there, and just to kindof like shorten the gap between my reset
(41:59):
you know. Sometimes so you gosomewhere and when you're back, you're like
tired, it's so hard to justpick up, so kind of like one
that like moving around to be thenorm for my body so that it doesn't
get shocked. Because the last timeI gave a speech, I flew,
you know, for two weeks,So I was giving a speech here in
Manila, and then I flew toTaipei actually to give another speech and then
(42:22):
multiple speeches there, and you know, for those two weeks, I was
so so so in high energy.When I came back, it took me
like three weeks to really really recuperateto kind of like go. And it
doesn't mean that I'm not functioning.It's just that I couldn't perform at the
level that I wanted because you know, I'd be tired. You know,
(42:42):
I'd be jet lag even though thetime difference is there's no time difference,
right, so what more if I'mgoing to different time zones. So just
that like for me, that ison a practical level, that that for
me is my body being as agileas possible. M that's interesting that you're
saying that because a lot of whatwhat we what you know, I think
(43:04):
I told you we use this patenthuman assessment technology that is based on your
physical structure and what it has beenable to help us. You know,
help others do is to get theiroperating manual of self. But what it
means to rejuvenate on the go insteadof doing that. So I totally can
relate to what you're going through.I mean, two weeks ago, I
usually have a day off after Ido a full weekend UM workshop, and
(43:25):
UM for some reason, I thinkI've just been so out of practice.
I didn't I didn't plan properly,and I came back and I was like
on the go already, and soit took me. I mean that's why
this this past weekend, I said, I'm not gonna do anything. I'm
just going to finally give myself thattime to recuperate and and it and it
also has to do and how Ichose to do that was based on my
(43:46):
understanding of how I'm uniquely designed.And I think one of the I mean,
it's an easy I could I meanfor me because we've been doing this
for so long, it's an easyanswer for you. But we can talk
more about that. But I mean, just to be able to have that
unique strategy for you, especially ifthat's the road that you want to take.
It's not it's less about actually trainingyourself right to get there. I
(44:08):
mean, there is a little bitof that, but also to understand how
do you uniquely manage your energy flowin a way where that when you step
away, you can go back toback events without completely becoming sidelined after you're
done, right, And I hada few clients who were like that,
and I said, this is whatyou need to do, and when they
did that, they were able tokind of completely change the dynamic of their
(44:30):
recovery and all these different things.So every human being is different. Most
likely what just needs to happen isjust kind of a little bit a few
things you need to do while you'reat the events. Yeah, when you're
done, you're not like completely gassedexactly. And that's where the misfit comes
in, right, because to embraceour uniqueness and our different ways of functioning
(44:53):
is really hard because we're so usedto this should be, you know,
like you should be working eight hours, you should be sleeping eight hours.
But not everybody is like created thesame, and we have to embrace that.
We have to embrace that our bodyneeds to adapt, we need to
adapt, We need to evolve.We you know, what worked for us
(45:14):
ten years ago is different from whatis working today. Yeah, yeah we
should. Yeah, I should remindme and to share something with you when
we're done here, because I canactually give your entire blueprint of yourself.
It's really actually yeah. So andthat way you don't have to guess how
cool is that? Exactly right?So? Okay, very cool. Well,
(45:34):
you know someone's listening to this,and like I said earlier, they're
probably while like chomping out the bit. What does you do? How do
you do if they're and they're probablywanting to connect with you more, okay,
and to understand them because you've inspiredthem with the nuggets that you've shared.
They like your vibe and your styleand your ability to be present and
honest. What's the best way forsomeone who's inspired by what you shared today
(45:59):
to connect with you or to experienceeven more of you so that they can
see if they want to be partof your world? So I have a
free checklist, a business magic checklist. I think it's in your show notes
way. But if you want toreach out to me personally, you just
send me an email Maria at MariaDashtan dot com I'm very responsive. You
(46:20):
can also send me connect with meon Instagram, which is like second home.
It's at Maria under spot k undersportTan, which I also believe would
be all the social media the websitesthey will be in the show notes that
Way would be posting later. Butfeel free to just connect with me and
maybe see how I can support youand see how else you can kind of
(46:44):
like embrace your unique self. Yeah, and you also share with me something
very cool, which is a didyou say, a free fifteen minute laser
coaching call that's worth about one hundredand fifty bucks to the first five people.
That's only for our audience of theUntie than Prosperous podcast, I believe,
yes, yes, yes, yes, So there is a Cuban code.
(47:06):
I think it's untethered, right,Yeah, and there's a link that
Way is going to put in sothat cube and code will only work five
times, So make sure that youkind of like do that. So it's
just fifteen minutes. Because I'm veryvery good at fast results, fast break
through results. You'll be taken toan intake form with specific questions and where
(47:29):
you are where you want to be, and in that fifteen minutes, will
really come up with a very fast, you know, action plan for you.
Very cool, and I'll make surethat link is in the notes.
Just look in the description below,and again it's for the first five people
after that that code expires, sobasically, first come, first serve,
right, Okay, So, Maria, thank you so much. This is
(47:50):
such a cool conversation. You know, I you know, sometimes I wish
that we can kind of create episodeswhere time is not of a factor and
when somebody is listening to this episode, that the world stops until they're done
listening, until we're done talking.But you know, one day we'll figure
that out. But for now,let's just have to kind of like honor
the temporal rules of the world thatwe live in. So, but thank
(48:12):
you so much for sharing a wisdom. Thank you so much for sharing your
time. I really appreciate it.And I'm sure you know whoever's listening to
right now. If you're listening tous and you haven't been inspired, you're
probably listening to the wrong podcast.And I don't know why you're here,
but if you have been listening,then this is probably something you want to
really listen to. Because there wereso many different layers of different nuggets,
not just in the stories, butinto the conjectures that Maria was basically talking
(48:37):
about about different perspectives on things.So again, thank you so much for
me. I really appreciate you sogood. Yeah, and the next time
you make that big leap, maybenext time you make a leap into the
US, we'll have another episode whereyou're in, we're face to face and
we're recording. Yes, that wouldbe really really awesome. Okay, Maria,
Well, thank you so much andwe will talk to you. So
(49:05):
and that's it for this episode.Thank you for listening, because you listening
is what inspires our guests and meto continue doing what we can to help
untether and elevate more human beings tonew heights of prosperous success. Now,
if what you heard today inspired youto want to finally untether from the bad
money stories or chronic self sabotage behaviorpatterns that's been holding you back, then
(49:30):
you'll want to join our exclusive,members only private podcast that dives deeper into
the topics discussed here, along withmore actionable strategies, tips, and trainings.
Just click on the link in thedescription of this episode to find out
more until next time.