Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Here is my contribution, and thenmy contribution leads to a co creation of
an impact with people. And thenon the other side of that impact is
a transformation. There's a bigger picture, something that happens on the other side.
And I realized that what fires meup the most is helping other people
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stand in their own power and trustthemselves and live out their purpose confidently and
authentically so that we can go createimpact in the world, so that we
can be our whole selves in theworld. Hey, it's way and you're
listening to Untethered and Prosperous, thepodcast where we focus on the two biggest
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things passionate, purpose driven entrepreneurs needto untether to become wildly prosperous and successfully
happy. And those two huge anchorsare bad money stories and chronic self sabotage.
So what we do is have realand inspiring conversations with amazing entrepreneurs who
have done just that. So getready to get untethered and get prosperous.
(01:15):
Hey, it's Wayne, Welcome toanother episode of the Untethered and Prosperous podcast.
So it's all about untethering from paradigsereality that no longer serve you,
such as bad money stories and chronicself sabotage. I'm really excited about the
guest on our episode today and inthe world that we live in where we
get to talk to people all overthe world in an instant. She is
(01:36):
currently in Canada and it's a lotcolder than where I am today. But
Julie Wenger is a coach, author, speaker, and podcaster. Yeay that
is passionate about helping you live alife that is fired up, fulfilled and
free. Triple F love it.She is driven by help by helping you
understand who you are and why you'reon this earth, and then getting you
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out of your own way so youcan live the life you're called to.
It's I almost feel like it's likea clone of me. Eve. She
empowers change makers too powerfully and courageouslylive out their purpose as their most authentic
selves. She loves helping people getout of their own way and create massive
impact so that they ultimately they canhave a world that is more fulfilled with
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love, compassion, and justice.I want to ask about that one.
But with that being said, Julie, welcome to the show. Thanks for
having me. I'm pumped I'm soexcited. Let's go ahead and set the
framework, because every guest that comeson has their own unique definition of what
it means to become untether, whatit means to come prosperous, so the
audience can know, Okay, thisis her a little bit of her framework
(02:43):
of the world. So what doeswhat does it mean to become untethered for
you? Untethered to Me is andhas been very much about detaching from other
people's should in stories for my life, So getting more conscious and more in
tune with who am I and howdo I live life from a perspective of
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really being in alignment with that andbeing an integrity with that instead of leaning
into well, here's what everybody elsesays that I should be or how I
should look, or how I shouldfunction or you know, we should all
over ourselves all day long. Soit's this freedom from everybody else's stuff that
gets projected onto us and our perceptionsof that stuff that we then put on
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ourselves. Yeah, I love thatbecause I think so many of us don't
realize how tethered we become. Andit's out a survival too, right.
We grow up having to listen toour parents and our teachers and guidance to
survive, but we're never taught tountether from that, so to speak.
(03:52):
Yeah, there's this whole structure ofsociety around teaching us as kids, this
is how you're post to show up. And I think especially when we look
at Western society and all of theachiever drive that's out there. Right,
this is the kind of job youshould have, and this is the kind
of money you should make, andthis is the kind of life you should
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have, and this is the kindof relationship you should have in the car
you should drive. And it's thereare all of these expectations and it's reinforced
literally everywhere that you look all ofthe ads on TV. And I mean
I have little kids, and Isee them internalize some of this stuff.
And it starts so young, andwhen we don't have context on the world
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and who we are, and wedon't have context on purpose, we just
kind of default into it unless we'retaught not to. Yeah, almost even
before we're born, because while inthe womb, you're still picking up sounds
and energy and just kind of emotionsthat are surrounding the mama, right,
(04:54):
Yeah, Yeah, there's a lotof generational patterns and narratives and I mean
all sorts of science around that,but yeah, all kinds of imprinting,
right, yeah, so very cool. So that's how you define what it
means to become unteas. So let'sgo to the yummy stuff. But what
does it mean to be prosperous?Then, m prosperous makes me It makes
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me think about abundance, but itmakes me think about abundance from a very
holistic perspective because the maybe we'll getinto this today, but the attachment to
the money side of abundance has beensomewhere that I've been. I've done the
success chasing and what society may traditionallydefine as prosperous if you've got the money,
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but you don't have the fulfillment,if you don't have that whole life
picture of something that is in harmonywith itself, it's useless. It's not
it doesn't fill you up or itdidn't fill me up. So it's this
abundance of purpose and impact and connectionand really looking at what are the important
(06:01):
areas of my life? What arethe areas that I'm choosing to give my
time and my energy and my attentionto, and are those in an abundant
and healthy space because then the moneycomes. It's kind of like that secondary
to what prosperous actually looks like.Yeah, and I love that you described
it that way because it really kindof breaks it down to the different pieces.
(06:25):
You're right, a lot of peoplein the world, and some of
the most prolific people are still definingprosperities being majority about money, right,
when in fact you and I probablycan agree on this. This is the
smallest liver on the entire big pictureof what it means to be prosperous.
And of course everybody has their ownjourney. What would you say is something
unique about your definition of prosperous thatis unique to you of what it means
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to be prosperous like in your world. I think that where I've really learned
that I stand is there is athere's like a faith connection component for me
that when I am really connected toyou, for me it's God and for
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other people it might be something else, Right, But when I'm really connected
to God, there is an abundance, a just sense of abundance there and
a sense of it's stepping out ofthe scarcity. Right, It's this knowing
that there is provision, and knowingthere is a purpose, and knowing there
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is a path, and just sayinglike, okay, I'm just available,
I can operate from a place.So I call it open heart, open
arms, open hands, And it'sjust this kind of surrender availability, willingness
to receive, willingness to give,willingness to be a flow through. And
that's really the feeling based explanation ofwhat prosperous looks like for me that I
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mean, maybe that's different for otherpeople, of course, I mean,
everybody has their own definition. Butthe way you describe it for you,
it's so beautiful in the sense thatit's really about. And I don't like
because the word surrender has been usedso much, but it's kind of like
that where you kind of surrender toyourself as being guided and being supported and
as long as you are in alignmentand stay in alignment. I think that's
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kind of what I was getting fromwhat you were saying. Just now,
yeah, very cool. So nowthat we got that out of the way,
let's talk Let's give them. Let'sgive the audience something to kind of
ooh and ah. Let's talk aboutwhat you've done as a result of those
definitions of those untetherings. Tell me, tell me about your business, tell
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me where you're at, tell mewhat you've been doing to help others like
you like I've described, and becomefired up, fulfilled, and free.
And more importantly, as you're talkingabout that, let's also talk about what
weather the major untetherings that had tohappen for you to create this prosperous business
for your prosperous life. Yeah.So I'm gonna go back in time,
(09:01):
like two and a half three yearshere for a second, because one of
the biggest hangups for me was thatI spent a lot of years, like
you mentioned, success chasing, andmy success chasing was in the real estate
industry, and I kind of fellinto it, and I was looking at
what is everyone else's measure of success, What is everyone else's definition? What
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are the things that I'm supposed tobe? What are the checklists that I
need to tick to be enough?What is it that I need to do
to be enough? What is itthat I need to do to measure up
and avoid being too much at thesame time. And so I hit a
wall about two and a half threeyears ago where we had reached as a
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team. I'd built assistance and teammembers, and the things we'd reached,
quote unquote success by the world,standards by the people around me, standards
by people in my industry who arenow approaching me saying like, hey,
can you teach me? How areyou doing it? But internally it was
this battle in this sense of beingan imposter, in the sense of it,
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but I don't want it. Whatwas the world seeing, I mean,
what was the I mean it wasseeing the you know, the half
a million dollar a year company.It was seeing a really well oiled machine.
It was seeing really happy clients.It was seeing the nice house and
the nice neighborhood with the two kidsand the husband and you know, sixteen
year marriage. It's perfect, right. It looked really really great from the
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outside. And I don't blame peoplefor thinking that because I made it look
that way, because I was alwaysin perception management mode. I was always
trying to keep this image together,sometimes even fooling me of how great life
was and how successful I was,because look, now, I'm enough,
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right, Except when we're proving andwe're looking outside of ourselves for validation of
our own worth, it's like ahit and the hit fades, and then
you've got to go do it allover again. So I came to this
point where I just didn't want it. I didn't want the success. I
didn't want the worry about the business. Was working at halftime hours in a
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full time business, which was great, but I was still worried about it
all the time, and I wasstill caught up in it all the time.
And I started to realize that Ididn't know who I was. My
identity was completely will use your words, tethered to what I thought other people
wanted me to be. So therewas this whole shift that needed to happen
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of me coming back to myself andhaving to do some serious inner work and
say, okay, well, howdo I figure out what I do want?
I probably need to figure out whoI am first, And so I
did a whole bunch of work onwhat's the essence of me? Who at
my core? Who am I whenall the roles are gone and all of
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the titles are gone and all ofthe responsibilities are gone, what's left?
And where I came to was thatI am love, joy, strength,
light and grace. And that wasI call that the first lens of getting
clear on our essence, the essenceof our identity, because then we have
this reminder and this anchor of Okay, this is who I am. So
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now if I look at my lifeand I evaluate where am I giving my
time and energy and what stories amI buying into about whom I'm supposed to
be? How did they align withthat? I started to get this clarity
that a lot of it didn't,and I started to get a lot more
clarity on purpose too. Here's whatwas interesting. The essence filters down and
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it kind of clarifies or gives guardrailsto Okay, then what am I on
this earth for? So if Iam love, joy, strength, and
grace, what is it that's mycontribution to make to the world. And
it's a little bit like you knowSimon Sine's model and start with why,
where he helps you build out awhy statement. I'd read that years and
years ago, and it's kind oflike, here's your contribution, and then
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that creates a sort of an impact. And I expanded on it a bit
where it's here is my contribution,and then my contribution leads to a co
creation of an impact with people.And then on the other side of that
impact is a transformation. There's abigger picture, something that happens on the
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other side. And I realized thatwhat fires me up the most is helping
other people stand in their own powerand trust themselves and live out their purpose
confidently and authentically so that we cango create impact in the world, so
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that we can be our whole selvesin the world. And I looked at
my real estate business and I startedto ask the question, can I do
that there? No, it wasthis weird, playing small version of me
by staying there. And I wasfortunate enough to have a coach at the
time that said to me, Julie, you're a coach. And I thought
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no, And I sat with itfor a while and I started to look
at it. I thought, well, that could be an interesting fit with
what it is that I'm passionate aboutand what it is that I want to
do. And what's interesting with purposeis our purpose is not a title.
And I think a lot of peopleget wrapped up in this. I think,
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oh, well, I want tobe a CEO of a company,
or I want to hold this rank, I want to hold this title,
I want to have this position.That's my purpose and it's not. Our
purpose is something that's higher level thanthat, just like our identity is higher
level than our roles in our title, and so that you put on for
the day, right, it's likea suit that you put on for the
day. That's really all that is. Yeah, there's able bigger picture theme
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to purpose that can go into multiplespaces. But what's fascinating that when I
consider to be the second lens whereit focuses things further. So we have
this clarity and who am I?Why am I here? And then we
can start to look at all ofthese spaces that we operate in and evaluate
them and say, should I givemy time at all to this space like
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real estate? Nope? Should Igive my time to my family in the
capacity I am or does that needto shift? Do I want to give
my time in the capacity I amto volunteer commitments or does that need to
shift? What do those look like? What aligns with the purpose and the
identity piece. So where that's shiftednow is that over the last couple of
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years I had to detach or untetherfrom this identity of successful real estate agent
and from the identity and the valuegetting that validation from outside around making a
certain amount of money because I wantedto change and I saw what was next.
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But there was this fear because I'dlived so many years in perception management
that if I leave, then peoplewill see me as less worthy, or
then I won't be enough anymore,or then it'll cause some kind of tension.
Yeah, so good, And Ilove that you use that word perception
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management, which is so it's sucha cool phrase. It's such a cool
way to describe how we manage ourlimiting beliefs, or our fear of our
fears. Really, because everything isbased on perception, right, and how
we perceive things to be, andso you had to let all that go,
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right, It's a continual letting go. It's got so much less hold
than it used to. But I'vehad to learn how to go to battle
with my ego. And this isa lot of the work that I do
now in helping clients go to battlewith their ego because it's a lot of
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entrepreneurs and we can do mentorship allday long, but ultimately, if you
don't have a solid foundation, ifyou don't understand how you're wired, if
you don't understand who you are,the purposes we may be building towards something
that is totally misaligned for you.And it's interesting because the identity and the
purpose pieces don't take that long toget clarity on. It's not a magic
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formula, it's not that complicated.But the getting out of your own way
piece, that's the piece that takesa lot of ongoing work. And so
starting to understand what are those thingsthat are taking me out was really important.
Starting to understand that I people pleaselike crazy, Yeah, I was
(18:15):
going to ask about that. Youknow, is that is that the part
of you say battling the ego?And again I love the imagery around that.
One's like I'm putting on my armor to go battle against my ego.
Okay, this is interesting actually becausethis is usually what people think.
Okay, they think like fists upand I always think punching, boxing gloves
because I have a punching bag inthe basement or a BLUEOFS team. But
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you know, it's this battle,this legit, literal battle. And what
I've learned over time is that yourego is more like a subconscious four year
old. It doesn't have context onthe world and it just runs around trying
to keep you safe. In itsvery immature kind of way, which means
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it's throwing up all of the selfprotective patterns, all of those self sabotage
patterns that it knows works because it'spart of you that it can find to
keep you safe and the same.And so the ego battle is less about
throwing punches or swinging swords and battleaxes, and it's more about self compassion.
It's more about being able to bringthe ego in for a hug.
(19:22):
And I was thinking about this alot when I was writing my book,
because this is a piece of it. Is what does that ego battle look
like? And I call it hugsnot punches, because we really get this
opportunity to integrate it and to bethankful for it, because isn't it great
that we have part of us thattries to keep us safe. Yeah,
that's exactly, Yeah, exactly,And that we can look at these patterns
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that we took on when we werelittle to try to get our needs met
or needs for love, or needsfor safety, or needs for belonging or
you know, all of those things, and then take our power back from
the ego because the challenge really showsup when we let it drive, and
we need instead take it out ofthe driver's seat and say like, Okay,
see you, and I hear you, and I'm curious about why you're
(20:08):
here, but I'm going to goput you in the passenger seat or the
back seat or somewhere else so Ican take my power back and I can
drive my own life instead of operatingin default. So there's a lot of
when I look at my journey,there's a lot of people pleasing. That
was a big piece of this perceptionmanagement and just understanding how I'm wired.
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I have a desire to be neededand to be valued. So I would
just try to make everybody happy allthe time, and I'd go above and
beyond all the time, and Iwould carry people's stuff all the time.
I had a coach once and saidcarrying as care plus worry, and I
was like, you for us.I don't know if anybody in the audience
listening to this is ever having todeal with being people pleased. I don't
think anybody go you're the only one. Yeah, I'm a unicorn. Yeah,
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the unicorn, the only one I'veever met. But it's interesting because
there is such a prevalence of this, and they talk to clients about it
all the time, and it's whatwill people think or how is this going
to come across? And they'll justworry and carry other people's stuff until it
burns them out and they're ultimately givingall their power away to other people's perceptions
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of them instead of confidently standing inwho they are, right. I mean,
we learn about that a lot ofthat growing up, just because we
have to please our parents in orderto stay out of trouble. It's like
a survival technique almost right, Absolutelyit is. That's totally what it is.
And then we see things come uplike the overachiever, which guilty recovering
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overachiever over there, recovering perfectionism.There is the control freak stuff, there's
the conflict avoidance, there's conflict creation. There's all of these different patterns that
show up. But when we canstart to understand what are the core ones
and what underpins them, which iswhere I'm a total Ennia gram nerd.
So I love to dig into whatis it that your core needs are and
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what are the things that consistently takeyou out? How does that tie back
to what you need and how youwant to be loved? All of that
plays in because how we show uppersonally and how solid we are personally is
a direct reflection of the health ofour businesses. So the shift was the
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shift from real estate to coaching.I call it to hold your nose in
gump moment. And I heard thisgreat Jeff Foxworthy quote one time, like
the redneck comedy guy, but likeyou have never lived until you've had a
few hold your nose in jump moments. And when it was finally time for
me to leave the real estate business, I just put it off and I
(22:52):
put it off, and I putit off, and then one day it
was like, Nope, it's justtime. You just gotta walk. And
what ultimately made that reality for meas I started to understand that my purpose
is for me, but it's notabout My purpose was about other people,
and it was about the impact Iget to create to create with other people,
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and that if I didn't show up, if I didn't do the work,
if I didn't clear this other thingoff my plate, that was completely
fracturing me. All of those peoplethat for me, especially from a faith
perspective, that I believe have beenintentionally placed along my path. If I
don't walk that path they don't getme, which means they don't get the
transformation that's intended for them, andthat cost was too high. So I
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called my partner and I said,what's it going to take for you to
take the business tomorrow? And Iwalked and I felt so much relief.
It happened in one day, prettymuch like it was a build us,
you know, but it was justI have to pull the plug right now
because I'm done. And I hadstarted building the new company and had started
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picking up steam because we're in COVID, so you know, I took my
own retiever energy and I pivoted whenreal estate to the pause right into the
coaching business. But it's been it'sbeen just over two years, okay,
and the transformations I've been able tosee in people who are either running businesses
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that they never wanted to be inand that are totally out of alignment for
them that jump into something else,and the people who, because they have
clarity, can re engineer those businessesso that they serve their life and they're
aligned with who they are and they'remore purpose filled. That's been one of
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the greatest joys of life, justperiod. It's so exciting. To see
people light up, which is wherefired up, fulfilled and free comes because
I started to realize that ultimately,what people want is to be excited about
the life they get to live andto be fulfilled by way of doing something
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that matters, doing that more,whatever the more is, And there's a
freedom that we're all working towards.There's a freedom that we all want to
create. And what freedom looks likevaries, and freedom would probably be my
version of prosperous in terms of likea brand word, right, But what
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is the thing that's on the otherside of the fear that holds you back?
What is the thing that when youthink about life that is so totally
worth living? What's it defined by? And seeing people step into freedom?
Freedom and who they are, freedomand their finances, freedom, what kind
(25:55):
of work they want to do.Freedom and having healthy relationships. Oh yeah,
it's all it's all connected. Yeah, because we're all one person everywhere,
that same person everywhere too supposedly,supposedly you're not supposed to be like
like fractured to be different. Imean we try, but right, And
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what's so exciting inspiring to me isthat you know, and I've had a
few other guests as well, whoare kind of like walking just what an
amazing world we live and we're ina matter of two or three years,
you know, here I am likethree decades in. It's like okay,
great, and then but within twoor three years being able to make so
much impact already with the people thatyou are, and now it's just a
(26:38):
question of doing more of that right, helping more people. And I think
some of the things that you broughtup as well as brought to mind in
the scriptures talking about squandering your gifts, the gifts that you've been given right,
um, and it doesn't mean thatyou couldn't have done it. In
real estate, I mean those whoare in real estate and stuff like that.
I have clients that are in realestate that there are main focus is
(27:00):
ing people's lives through the journey ofdoing what they're doing right. And that's
because where they feel comfortable and thenwho knows what will happen. But when
you got the calling, it soundslike they says, be a coach.
I got a similar type of callingfrom one of my other clients years ago,
and they're like, you should bea coach. I'm like, oh
what, Yeah, says, youknow, Tony Roma's like, who,
so go google? It? Isthat? What it is? That is?
(27:21):
Do they call that? Is itgoogling? Now? Is it is
that what they call? I'm like, oh, Yahoo or what you know?
I just picked myself. But thepoint but um so so, so
that's what's so. That's also andwhat I love about what you're doing is
what you are talking about it.I think there's just something going on in
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the world right now that has createdhas allowed that information, that awareness,
and that those breakthroughs to be tobe so available because you know, twenty
some odd years ago, nobody talkedabout that kind of stuff. You know,
I had to be like a massivepioneer just to kind of say that
without being considered like, Okay,let's burn him at the stake. He's
(28:04):
weird. You know. People say, so, what are your wish It's
like, no, there are nomeal I'm a warlock. Yeah right,
so all right, So there's beena total culture change, and uhh,
I look at things like, forexample, Brinnie Brown's work around shame and
shame resilience and looking at generational patterns. We didn't have the language, we
(28:30):
didn't have the research, we didn'thave the understanding like there was you lead
the field and some of those oldbooks right that were kicking around, but
it wasn't so easily available. AndI think with COVID there was something really
beautiful about this whole couple of yearsdespite all of the crap that came with
(28:52):
it, stuff that came with it. Yeah, yeah, there's I mean,
there's a lot of downsides, andthere was loss, and there were
collective grief and all of that,and and there was a opportunity for values
realignment. There's that opportunity that wecould slow down, that we could get
back to. But is this thelife I want? And the number of
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people that I've talked to that havetold me in that period of time,
they started to really question, butis this what I want to do with
my life? Is this what I'mcalled to? Is this it? And
there's this thing I call the capabilitygap, which is different than comparison,
but it's this accurate assessment of here'swhere I am right now, and here's
(29:38):
where I just know something inside ofme, whether spirit or inner knowing or
whatever you're identify with, something insideof me knows that I'm capable of more
and then we go about closing thatgap. That's the growth curve, that's
the focus, that's the goal post. And people are starting to get that
sense of Okay, here's where Iam and here's where I'm going, and
(30:02):
it just feels like everything is gettingshaken up in a really good way.
M Yeah, you know, it'sit was a dialogue and a narrative that
I was consistently kind of telling myaudience and my students and my clients about
stay in your lane. This isan opportunity. Stay in your lane.
This is an opportunity, and it'sa different opportunity for everyone. And the
(30:25):
more you buy into what is that, you know, what is not in
your best interest, the more it'sgoing to manifest itself as something real.
Right, because I had clients whowere in some of the most impacted industries
other pandemic, and they had theirbest years ever in spite of where everybody
else is like, oh, it'smy worst year ever. And they were
thriving. They were like, it'sthis way. We had a record breaking
(30:47):
month. It was like smack dabin the middle of pandemic in the restaurant
industry. Yeah, And that's thatmindset thing right, It's it's it's like
getting through like, Okay, doI live a life of prosperity or do
I live a life of just buyinginto fear? The shoulds? Right,
Like you were saying, the shouldsof the world so very cool, And
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as I'm looking at the time,it's like, there's more questions I want
to ask, but I also alsowant to ask this. Well, and
you know, of course people aregoing to be wondering, Well, now
that you're two three years in,you're obviously created success as a result of
that. You brought in probably alot of business acumen because of your experience
in real estate and building a machine. There, what's next, I mean,
what's the next big thing for you? But more importantly, what's the
(31:34):
next big untethering that you feel thatyou want to have happen for you to
kind of kind of elevate to thatnew big paradigm of existence. Well,
I mean, the next generic excitingthing is a book, which is so
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surreal to me. And the volumeof imposter sent around that shows up when
you're working on your first book isunreal because it's reliable like that, it
shows up in every up level interms of the next thing to let go
of and detach from. I've beenworking a lot on this theme of reclaiming
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too muchness, and so it's really, well, too much is kind of
the same thing, is not enough, but spending life avoiding being too much,
too loud told to ye. Andso it's this hiding or toning down
(32:39):
of who you are, toning downwhat you believe, and really powerfully stepping
into all that I am and allof my you know what can be very
big and bold energy and what canbe a lot quote unquote for other people,
and owning that because I really believefundamentally that everything that we have in
(33:05):
us is there for a purpose.Everything that's in me is needed for me
to go and make the biggest impactthat I can make with my life.
And so really being with it,really allowing it to integrate and to be
a part of me, and worryingless and less and less about the what
(33:28):
do other people think? That issuch an ongoing thing because it's so deeply
rooted. That perception management is sodeeply rooted, and so I can see
when I look back how it's shifteddrastically over the last number of years,
But there's still that part, there'sstill that little Julie that's always felt like
(33:50):
I'm a little too awkward, orI'm a little too talkative, I'm a
little too loud, or I'm toothis, or I'm too that, and
so just saying screw it, I'mgoing to be all of that, and
I'm going to practice being all ofthat and then going to I think this
is key, continually choose it sothat it becomes more default, and continually
(34:14):
choose it so that I can builda new frame of reference for my ego
to reattach to that says, Okay, yeah, this is safe over here,
This new way of being, thisnew way of operating is safe enough
that I can let go of theold and I can reattach over here to
what's new and what's better and what'smore powerfully and authentically you right, because
(34:37):
you know, what you're describing isprobably something a lot of you know,
high achieving, purpose driven entrepreneurs youknow, will hit continuously as they grow.
It's that impossible center that you're saying. And also like not playing full
out, so to speak, right, playing small and holding back, you
(34:58):
know, and it's like that holdingback at peace and what justifies that and
again it probably comes down to someroot cause reasonings around protection or whatever the
case may be. And so whatif I hear it correctly, your your
solution or your your strategy around thatis to be cognizant of the choices that
you're making every single day. Andnow my question is this is that there
(35:22):
are people powered listening says I.You know, it's it's hard to make
those choices. How do I keepmyself consisting in making those choices? Is
that the only strategy to be ableto? I mean, how do we
maybe there's a way to do itso that you don't have to constantly be
having to make those choices and itbecomes almost like unconscious choices that just default.
(35:45):
One of the biggest pieces that hasbeen powerful for me and accepting and
starting to own those parts of myselfthat I previously would have avoided has been
via awareness so that I can seeit. And it's been the sitting with
it so that I understand it.But it's also been the who do I
(36:07):
surround myself with? Because where itgets a lot easier is when I'm very
conscious about who are the people I'mintentionally choosing to spend time with. And
are those people that own their toomuchness? Are those people who are really
comfortable in their own skin? Arethey people who are living out being bold?
(36:31):
Because there is this resonance when we'rein the presence of people like that
consistently that it just pulls us upand it's less about a choosing and it's
just more automatic. So the peopleare really important. And I mean there's
a part of this that as muchas we want it to be easy and
(36:53):
to not have to choose it andnot have to pick it and to not
have to work at it, sometimeswe have to. And that might mean
putting yourself in therapy. That's twentyyears overdue. Hands up over here,
right, there's a lot of well, there was a lot of shame around
therapy twenty years ago. And yeah, there have been along the journey some
(37:16):
things that have triggered and some patternsthat show up. And I think that
we need to while we're building awareness, really be cognizant about who do we
need to surround ourselves with, bothin terms of the community that's going to
call us up and that's going toremind us of who we are and who
do we need to put in placein terms of supports to help us actually
(37:36):
get to the roots of things sowe can heal them. Because as I
heal more of those wounds or thosetraumas or micro traumas from before, there
is a freedom that comes because thenI'm not dealing with the imprint and all
of the stacked stuff that comes upwith that when it gets triggered. Now,
(37:59):
yeah, like that what the unconsciousmind does a lot of It does
some evidence procedure and validation things,so us it helps by creating these micro
decisions so that it creates a realityexperience that feeds that old root cause that
you're talking about. And when weget rid of the root cause, and
it has no reason to make thosechoices anymore, ergo self sabotage patterns,
(38:21):
Yeah, it just goes away.Right. So is your book about that?
I mean, what is your bookabout? My book is about the
process that I went through and theprocess I guide through. So there's a
lot about fear and the illusion thatis enoughness, and reclaiming our too muchness
and identity and the ego battle andgetting out of our own way and ultimately
(38:45):
living out our calling. And thisone is it's actually really fascinating because when
I started writing, I thought thatthis is going to be a straight up
like secular book, and I realizethat because faith is so important to me,
this is another one of those toomuch things, right. It was
like, well, I want tobe too Christian because you know, how's
that going too? If it's partof your world in reality? Well,
(39:07):
this is it? Yeah, thisis it. And so I'm starting to
map this thing out and write itand only I can't separate out my faith
from my journey because my faith wasthe foundation of my journey. So it's
it's more along the let's call itthe Jesus lines. And at the same
time, the themes have something forwherever you sit from a faith perspective,
(39:31):
and I'm really excited about it becausethere is there's so much need. It's
called fired up, fulfilled, andfree. Oh okay, cool, So
my three F bombs I like tocall them, and I don't mind those
efforts. Right fulfilled, free,Yeah exactly. And it's a know who
(39:53):
you are and get out of yourown way and love your purpose. I
love it. And what is itwhen is supposed to come out? Thirty
first? Is our target? First? Okay, it's been announced. It's
been announced, it's been announced lotsof places. It's just like, you
know, all the coordination of allthe back end stuff and learning, but
we'll make it. So I lovethat because it's it's such a powerful way
(40:16):
when you write a book, especiallyearly on in this journey, especially as
being a coach is, it's sucha great way for you to challenge front
and center that imposter syndrome, tostep into owning what you've already probably been
doing to change people's lives. AndI can already see that as as your
road continues to unfold in front ofyou, that you're going to probably have
(40:37):
other books that are going to berefinements of this first version, this fired
up, fulfilled and free. Yes, absolutely, I can see them on
the horizon. And it's just amatter of I think, going through more
of my own journey. It's goingthrough more of my own untetherings in my
own processing and stepping into whatever thatnext level is, whatever closing that next
(41:01):
capability gap is. Because it's inthis journey that books are born and that
we develop more process and more refinement. So one thing quickly I want to
say about imposter syndrome, is thatimposter syndromes and invitation is something that I
struggled with for so many years.And I remember sitting before I left the
(41:22):
old business, and I was thinkingabout the new one, and I was
feeling it, and then it occurredto me that because it shows up at
every level, every up level,every growth, there is something there that
if I am on the path thatI'm called to be on, if I'm
(41:43):
in line with my purpose, ifI'm aligned with who I am, it's
just a confirmation that I'm on theright track, which makes it a lot
less scary. Yeah, because you'restill human. You're not like a deity
that doesn't have to deal with thechallenge of being in a world with other
humans. Lord no, I stillyellow my kids right out there, I
(42:07):
know, and nobody four ever mortalimmortalized inside this podcast. I mean you
could ask them, they'll tell you. Yep, she still does. But
I love this take on imposter syndromebecause even though I think you're a unicorn,
that one as well. You're theonly one, only entrepreneur that ever
has to do with impost syndrome.But in case another unicorn is out there,
(42:32):
um, imposter syndrome is is probablyone of the biggest show stoppers for
so many people to keep them fromplaying full out. The dialogue, the
brutal dialogue that pops up in ourminds that we don't realize keeps us and
or maybe in skews the types ofdecisions that we make. Um And it
(42:54):
has everything to do with you weretalking about the ego about you know,
these these old shoulds and shouldn't andeverything like that, which then gets I
should I write this book? Butwho am I to write this? One
of our egos favorite tactics, right, it's one of its favorite ways to
create. Overwhelm. You throw theinner critic in there, you throw some
imposter syndrome language in there, andoverwhelmed enough of it will stop us every
(43:20):
time. Yeah, and I lovehow you said power. Yeah, and
I love how you said, likethe frame the perspective on that is your
realization. And man, when Icame out to that realization years ago,
as I like, oh, becauseI was like, why does this keep
coming up? It's like, oh, oh yeah, that's right, I'm
growing. Oh ah, that's whatthat is. And so and I don't
(43:40):
think I ever articulated that until hearingyou say it's like, that's exactly it.
As an entrepreneur, if you aredriven to evolve and grow. Okay,
for those of you are listening,like Julie was saying, if you're
accounting that, that's a pretty goodsign you are probably on the right track
because as every level of growth,you're most likely step into a version of
(44:02):
yourself that never existed until now.Yeah, So your ego is going to
have a little freak out because it'sdifferent and it's unpredictable, and it can't
have certainty and it can't have definitivenessand I can't have control. And that's
ultimately what our ego wants because that'show it keeps us safe. So if
we just expect it, and wecan anticipate it, and we can remember
(44:23):
that, oh right, this isjust an invitation to keep going. This
is a confirmation, and then wecan do this thing. I always tap
my desk and say, hey,ego, have a seat over here.
There's something about sending those subconscious cluesphysically to our own body, and it's
like, I got this. Iknow you're showing up. I know why
(44:43):
you're showing up. And if Idon't, I can get curious about that.
But you can sit here and I'mgoing to keep going because I know
who I am, and I knowwhy I'm here, and i know where
I'm going. And this is justan ego play to try to get me
to not grow again. Yeah,And this is why I tell people all
the time. Your biggest and bestinvestment on anything when it comes to this
(45:07):
journey as an entrepreneur, is youyour purpose, the time, energy,
and money that it will never bea waste, you know, whether it
be therapy or a coaching or mentorshipanything, you know, that's all good
use of funds if you will,and time and energy. Right, And
I love this loving approach that youtake that I encourage all my students and
(45:27):
clients to do. Is like loveon yourself. You're just trying to keep
your inner self. Is just tryingto keep you safe. Get back into
rapport, come up with a betterplan, and just move forward that way.
Right. So everything that you're sayingabsolutely love. And if you were
listening to this and you didn't getinspired, then you were probably listening to
the wrong podcast and you shouldn't beeven listening. I don't know why you're
(45:50):
here, but I'm looking at thetime as I of course I knew it
we were going to be going overtime, but it was so worth it.
Now now guarantee some one's going tolisten and they're going to be like,
Wow, I really need to connectwith this woman. She says things
better than way does I mean there'sa culture for everybody. Okay, we
(46:10):
can't all the people by ourselves.What are you talking about, unicorn?
No anyway. So so if theyhear what you said and they're inspired and
they want to learn more, connectwith you or even experience a little bit
of what you're all about. What'sthe best way for someone who has been
inspired by what you've said in thisepisode to connect with you. They can
(46:31):
head over to either Instagram at JulieWenger or our website also Julie weenger dot
com and schedule a clarity call.It's no strings, no crazy sales,
pitch. I hate that stuff.Yeah, just a clarity call. Let's
just talk, yeah, exactly,And if you want to do things together
(46:54):
and work together, we can dothat. And if nothing, that's cool.
Let's just getting some direction because weneed more people living their purpose and
moving in that direction to have aworld that unlike we talked about the beginning,
it's more filled with love and compassionand justice. Yeah, and I
love that you are willing to stepinto this space because honestly, we need
(47:14):
more of you, more unicorns likeyou, to step into the space to
do this work because it's so Imean, yeah, there are a lot
of coaches in the world, butbut not a lot of them actually have
the courage really to step into doingthis profound work that you and I actually
are both doing for our audiences.So thank you so much for making that
(47:36):
leap. Thank you so much foryour continued commitment to that, and so
connect with Julie Wenger at Julieweinger dotcom. We'll see that all the links
and everything in the description below anddefinitely take her up on offer. We
have a clarity call, no stringsattached. I mean, what have you
got to lose except and everything togain? Really, you know you've heard
(47:58):
her and if you can, ifyou miss something, listen to it again.
But Julie, thank you so much. I have a seeking suspicion that
after our next big, you know, imposter free leap, I might want
to have you come back again sowe can have another discussion because this is
even though we went over I don'tthink there was enough time. I'd appreciate
(48:19):
that. It's been an honor.Yeah, thank you so much again and
we will talk it. My loveand virtual hugs, and that's it for
this episode. Thank you for listening, because you listening is what inspires our
guests and me to continue doing whatwe can to help untether and elevate more
(48:43):
human beings to new heights of prosperoussuccess. Now, if what you heard
today inspired you to want to finallyuntether from the bad money stores or chronic
self sabotage behavior patterns that's been holdingyou back, then you'll want to join
our exclusive member is only private podcastthat dives deeper into the topics discussed here,
(49:04):
along with more actionable strategies, tips, and trainings. Just click on
the link in the description of thisepisode to find out more. Until next time,