Episode 56 - “Rejection is Redirection“ with Maureen Pound - Untethered and Prosperous

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
The first thing that came to myhead was the theme of rejection. So
it feels like this is actually alittle bit of a theme of the podcast
actually, and being Untethered is todeal with rejection in your life because you're
going to get it in business,you're going to get it from partners,
you know. So I think forme it was it was about the fact

(00:23):
that you can get ghosted, youcan get rejected. A lot of it
has nothing to do with you,but to do with the match. And
it's the same in business. Soyou feel sometimes rejected when when a potential
client says no, or you don'tget the contract or whatever. But sometimes

(00:43):
it's far the greater good. You'rejust not a good match. The energy
doesn't isn't there, and so ifyou had got it, you would have
caused more trouble than it was worth. So I just go now, I'm
like, yeah, this was therewas more rejection in my life, and
I think on just beta with rejectionand actually appreciate it. Now, Hey,

(01:07):
it's way and you're listening to Untetheredand Prosperous, the podcast where we
focus on the two biggest things passionate, purpose driven entrepreneurs need to untether to
become wildly prosperous and successfully happy.And those two huge anchors are bad money
stories and chronic self sabotage. Sowhat we do is have real and inspiring

(01:30):
conversations with amazing entrepreneurs who have donejust that. So get ready to get
untethered and get prosperous. Hey,it's Wayne. Welcome to another episode of
the Untethered and Prosperous Podcast, whichis all about helping you, the listener,
get inspired to become untethered from badmoney stories or chronic self sabotage patterns

(01:53):
so that you can create the mostprosperous life that you can, whether it
be as an entrepreneur or just asa human being. And once again,
we have an amazing guest on thisshow who is actually a partner to a
previous guest that we had, andI'm so excited because she's going to be
talking specifically about a particular subject thata lot of people just don't want to

(02:17):
go there, but we like togo there because we think it's at a
very important piece. Her name isMaureen Pound, and let me give you
a little bit of a background becausebasically her story starts around this subject matter
that she had not had a singledate in seven years because she was busy
running a business and raising two anonymoussperm donor children on her own. And

(02:40):
it was after a life changing Thailandbike ride with fifty other entrepreneurs raising money
for orphans that she decided to getback on that horse, and well,
what an adventure and I can't waitto share for her to share that with
you. Over the last six yearsthat followed, she matched with thousands of
men on Tinder, talked with overfive hundred, and met close to one

(03:01):
hundred. She went on walks,play tennis, had coffee, dinner,
drinks, and sneaky rendezvous and sheheard stories of frustrations and annoyance from a
lot of men and decided that shewanted to help to share ideas and strategies
to help them meet great people.So men, if you're listening to this
and you've been struggling with Tinder,you want to pay attention to this episode.

(03:23):
The idea for her book as aresult, was called Get Ready,
How to Get Laid on Tinder forMen was born. She's passionate about supporting
men and giving them tools to communicatewell, both online and offline. She
has practical and fun as you canprobably surmise from this bio, and not
afraid to be direct. So ifthis is already triggering you, then you

(03:46):
might not want to listen to thisepisode, or maybe you do so that
you can get on tether from thatold paradigm and create a more prosperous intimate
dating life on Tinder and beyond Marine. Welcome to the show. Hello,
right to be here. I'm sohappy that you're able to make it now.

(04:09):
For those of your listening, sheis on the other side of the
planet, and so I'm so excitedthat she was able to wake up and
make time to meet with us today. So let's go ahead and set the
context for because of the journey thatyou've been in, there's so many cool
things that this Untethered and Processed podcastis all about helping people kind of see
that piece of the unique definitions ofwhat those are. So let's just start

(04:31):
with that. Get that out ofthe way, so we can jump right
into your story around the book andaround this whole movement that you and Carmen
are actually on right now. Sohow would you define what it means to
become untethered in the context of basicallywhat you're all about these days. I
think being untivid is around realizing thatyou're human and occasionally you're going to feel

(04:59):
like you tip, you're going toyou're gonna have emotions, you know,
you're going to sometimes not feel free, You're not going to get things right.
Um, but there's always a wayto to break through that. Yeah,
yeah, I love that. Andso it's the concept of recognizing that
being becoming untethered as always an optionor a choice. Is that kind of

(05:20):
what you're saying in terms of howyou would define that to be? Yes.
And also, um, if welook at those you know that primal
brain science stuff where where people youknow, um, want to be part
of a tribe and if you doanything around money, business, sex that

(05:42):
puts you outside what a tribe wouldappreciate or accept, then um, you
know you often feel tethered to theto the tribe, to the ways of
the tribe. And it's about breakingbreaking through that. Yeah, oh I
love that, and and and such, And it's that's something that has actually
been bred into us for thousands ofyears, a whole tribal kind of like

(06:05):
attachment right to make sure for survivalpurposes rather, right, Yeah, so
you know, even and that's whyit's so hard to be rejected in life.
Even though a lot of times it'sgood for us and good for the
other person, it feels shit exactly. I mean it's like, you know,

(06:28):
sometimes the healthiest thing to do andthe best thing to do with two
people, especially in a relationship,is to actually break up. I mean,
both parties know, and despite that, we still struggle with that,
right, exactly exactly, you know, we hold on. So I think
the untethered piece is realizing what's happeningin your body and brain and then,

(06:48):
as you say, making a decisionaround that. Yeah, very important.
I love that, Okay, coreatSo that's how you would define being coming
untethered. Now, let's talk aboutwhat it means to be prosperous in the
context of Marine's world. What isthat now? I mean, I'm sure
a lot has been redefined and definedand redefined again because of your journey,

(07:10):
not only having created and built asuccessful business with your business partner, but
also going into this side project tokind of serve at an even greater level
beyond just business. Right, Solet's talk about how you now would define
what it means to be prosperous.I think you've not hit the nail on

(07:32):
the headway, because I think thatI feel prosperous in life now having the
options to pursue those things that drivenfrom deep within. So I feel like,
look, we can always keep strivingfor more staff and more money and

(07:58):
whatever it is, but A feelprosperous because I now have the time,
energy, headspace and finances to backme up to be able to pursue what
I want to, right, Andso let's talk about that, because I
think so many people defining what itmeans to be prosperous to have always have
something to do with money, oralways have something to do with the building

(08:22):
of businesses, especially when we talkwith entrepreneurs, because that's most of who
our audiences audience is, that isthese entrepreneurs. And yet for us to
truly be prosperous, as you're demonstratingnow, it goes so far beyond just
the money and what society sees assuccess and prosperity. Right, I think
it really does. Because you couldhave lots of money in a business and

(08:50):
a life that you hate, Areyou prosperous? Then? So I definitely
think those added layers of no.Prosperity is a joyful word, and so
I think that, you know,part of being prosperous is having more joy
in your life by being able topursue the things that make you smile every

(09:15):
day. Yeah. No, Iagree, And it seems like that's a
lot of what's been happening with youbecause of this, you know, additional
part of this project that you're doingon top of the business that you have
with Carmen. So let me letme let me ask you this then share
with us a little bit about whatthat shift happens, because I think a
lot of people who are listening tothis our audience are those who have already

(09:37):
are a kind of seasoned entrepreneurs.They created six, seven, eight figure
businesses already, and what draws themto this discussion or this platform and this
podcast is the fact that there's somethingmissing, right, And I feel like
that's kind of what you went throughbefore deciding that this getting back on the
horse, so to speak, andgoing in this dire action. So I

(10:01):
can talk a little bit about,you know, what was it like before
that pivot and what was it thatactually got you to say Okay, now
I'm going to go in this direction. So what what happened for me was
a couple of things. I've beenin business twenty years and and so I

(10:22):
do want to say money, money, bloody does matter. I'm glad,
you know, I'm not downplaying itat all. So and and it was
very it was roller coaster, asa lot of us can relate to.
And then finally I hit a pointwhen I joined with Carmen and we had
some rough times where we had aresidual income model, or we do and

(10:43):
it works and the money comes in. So that's one aspect where I sort
of felt free knowing that the moneywas flowing. Um. But also a
lot of what holds us back isagain, you know, getting back to
the tribe. People are often worriedwhat people on the internet are going to

(11:03):
think, what strangers are going tothink. But for me, this project
was about what my family and mychildren would think. So I had to
I had to go on a journeyto become comfortable to do something that was
out of the box, that wascontroversial, That was what I really wanted
to do. But yeah, suresociety can have a view on it,

(11:28):
and strangers can and people can abuseme on the internet, which they have
on TikTok. But what really cutsto the heart is when you think that
you might be hurting or affecting thoseyou love. So I had to find
a way to justify this journey andtaking these risks. And when I and

(11:52):
it still happens. It's still anup and down journey, but now I'm
more comfortable with it. So whenyou get to that level of comfort it
that you're brave enough to do it, then it becomes easier. And then
you hit another obstacle, and thenyou overcome that and then it becomes easier.
So it's you know, it's justthat journey. Yeah, it's almost
as if you're slowly untethering from societalexpectations and the narratives and the cultural rules

(12:18):
that oftentimes keep us from making thebest choices that are for us right because
ultimately, and then for those ofyou who are listening, I hope you
caught the gen stones that marine wasjust dropping right now in terms of and
why. That's why I felt therewas such an alignment with the theme around
our podcast is you literally became untetheredfrom what the world expected you to be

(12:43):
or how you should be and broacheda particular subject that I think is a
really important subject. Not that tinderis the most important thing, but it's
what's behind all of that, rightyeah, just what you said why too.
So we're often tethered by what wethink the world expects of us,
or our community or our family orwhoever. And you get sparks of it

(13:07):
in your life, Like people willsay, oh, Warren, you know
as a child, you're brave tosay those sorts of things. You say
the things that I was thinking butI was too scared to say. So
you get It's like you get theselittle signs, but you ignore it,
right yeah. And then one andthen there comes point in your life,
I mean, my fifties. NowI'm like stuff it, like I'm just

(13:31):
gonna go for it, right yeah. So that's inspiring to me because I'm
about to step into that fifties stageof fifties era next year. So I'm
really excited about that. And seeingyou kind of like step into that greater
space of just expansion and evolution issuper inspiring to me. So here's an

(13:52):
interesting thing is that people will think, Okay, great, so now she's
talking about how to get laid ontender, This is a and everything like
that. And you're right, it'swhat people are thinking already or thinking they
want to know about more of becausewhy do them people go into tender?
Yeah, sure, it's about maybea relationship, but what do you have?

(14:13):
What happens when you get in thatrelationship? Then right, let's get
out to like the core of itall right? Yeah, for sure.
And why I think this is suchan important conversation, especially for entrepreneurs,
is you know, based on whatyou've seen in your journey of your peers
and colleagues and other entrepreneurs, howimportant it is or how important do you

(14:33):
think it is to be healthy inthe intimacy department as a human being running
a business in the world of entrepreneurship. I think it's very important. After
all, week, you know,we are animals, and I think that

(14:56):
and human touch even so, Iat least had, you know, cuddles
from my children when I wasn't havingsex. But you know, some people
who are not in a relationship,don't have child, don't have any human
touch hardly at all, which Ithink is not healthy for us. And
it's just it's part of one ofwhat we what we need is as human

(15:20):
as humans and the intimacy that comeswith it. And yeah, so I
think it's another important part of yourlife. Yeah, And what was the
big shift? I mean, foryou said you hadn't been on a single
date for seven years, right,And if we see this a lot people

(15:41):
who are ambitious, they're driven,they're focusing on their work, they're focusing
on motherhood, okay, and allthose different things that they kind of let
that go to the wayside, itdoesn't become a priority. What was the
shift that happened that had you realizethat, you know, maybe I should
do something about this, Maybe Ishould get back on the horse. Because
I don't think you're alone in thatjourney. And except that some people just

(16:03):
hasn't haven't taken the step yet.I think my identity changed a little bit
when I when I was busy withthe kids and doing it doing it on
my own, and busy with business. And then when what actually happened was
when I went on the bike ride, I had men flirting with me again,
my god like and so that sortof stirred something within me. And

(16:30):
so what actually happened was a bitof a funny story so on this bike
ride, people get up, youknow and share, you know, halfway
through what's driven them to do theride. And we're all exhausted, and
it's hot, and it's you know, a full on experience, and like
any challenge, you know, itstirs things within you. So we all

(16:52):
stood on stage and everyone, oneby one had to share their journeys.
And one guide lost fifty kilos togo on the bike ride, and and
you know, another person had beenabused as a child, and you know,
and I was la second last ofall these people to get up,
and I'm like, what am Igoing to say? What is really happening
for me around this? So Istood up on stage and in front of

(17:15):
like fifty people, I told themthe story how I was not giving back
to myself. I was giving tothe business and I was giving to the
children and that was my mission whenI got back to Australia to get laid
And so I announced it to fiftypeople, and especially the guys got it.

(17:41):
It was really interesting and I thinkthat's what also sparked the idea for
the book. Later on, theythey almost see the importance of it.
I don't know, they saw itand they also wanted to be really helpful,
so they came up and they wereshowing me how to do tinder.
And you know, many of themwere in relationships and happily married or whatever,
but they went you know that werethat were showing me a couple of

(18:03):
single guys as well. So,um, that's what happened for me.
It was just was I was doingsomething else, you know, a challenge,
and then it you know, itsparked something within me. Yeah,
and what has been the ripple effectssince you've kind of like gotten back on
the horse and you've gone back ontothe scene. Aside from this book and

(18:25):
the ripple effects of helping other men, how about even if you're looking back
at the business that you already had, what has it done to contribute to
your approach or how you have beenin the current business that the other business
that you're in. That's a greatquestion. The first thing that came to
my head was the theme of rejection. So it feels like this is actually

(18:51):
a little bit of a theme ofthe podcast. Actually, and and to
being Untethered is to deal with rejectionin your life because you're going to get
it in business, you're going toget it from partners, you know.
So I think for me it wasit was about the fact that you can
get ghosted, you can get rejected. A lot of it has nothing to

(19:12):
do with you, but to dowith the match. And it's the same
in business. So you feel sometimesrejected when when a potential client says no,
or you don't get the contract orwhatever. But sometimes it's far the
greater good. You're just not agood match. The energy doesn't isn't there,
and so if you had got it, you would have caused more trouble

(19:33):
than it was worth. So Ijust go now, I'm like, yeah,
this was There was more rejection inmy life, and I think I'm
just better with rejection and I actuallyappreciate it now. Yeah, Oh that's
so good, because I think alot of people who struggle with sales and
struggle with growing with their business andstuff like that are probably approaching intimacy in

(19:56):
the same way. And if maybeif they were married, they've been married
already and they went into business afterbeing married, they've forgotten what it was
like to kind of deal with rejectionand deal with like being ghosted or catfish
or whatever the term they use thesedays about in the dating process. And
I think you're right, it's suchit's almost like a And this is why

(20:17):
I wanted to have you come onthe show, because I see that there's
some big metaphorical correlations or references thatcan be understood that maybe sometimes for people
who are struggling in their business,maybe the key to changing that around is
getting better at dating if they're single, right, or dealing with rejection or

(20:41):
something in their personal life, right. Yeah. And the other part of
it is having a process. Soin the in the book, I talk
about a process for the men toget the women off the app, because
you know, the one role ofthe app is get people off the app,
you know, right, You andthe guys that have the process,

(21:04):
you know, off the app andon a date, off the app and
to your bed wherever it is youwant to go. And again this is
respectfully, but have a bloody process, just like your wood in business.
M hm hmm. Yeah. AndI wonder if this is the case too,
do you think that there if thereare people who have it reverse there

(21:26):
they're struggling in business, but they'redoing great in their dating life and they
don't realize that they're They just needto map across or to speak, what
they're doing their dating life to theirbusiness. Yeah. I've never thought of
that, but maybe maybe you're right. Yeah, And there's you know,
there's themes, isn't there. There'sbeing clear on what outcome you want,

(21:47):
UM, treating people respectfully, UM, keep getting through rejection, keep on
going, you know, all thosethemes that are pertinent for both. Yeah.
I almost feel like, because youcome from the world of entrepreneurship that
this approach And I haven't read thebook yet, so I'm looking forward now

(22:10):
to that just because you wrote it. I just want to see what you've
developed at I almost feel like thiscould be a roundabout way for those that
you know can want to kind ofmap across, Like getting good in your
personal life could actually translate be doingbetter in your business because I think the
brutalness of rejection that happens on anintimate level because you can't out but take

(22:33):
it personally because it is about yourown person, right, And if you
develop a resilience to that an understandingof that, and then transpose that into
your business, you could probably strengthenand maybe improve your business as well.
So I think there's a lot oflike, do you think your success as
an entrepreneur was able to influence likethe systems and the processes that you out

(23:00):
in that book. I actually thinkit's more. I would consider myself a
pretty good communicator, and so forme, it's one of the keys is
communication. So for instance, onit a dating app, what a lot
of guys would ask one question afterthe other and they think they're a good

(23:21):
communicator, or they have a dateand they just ask question, ask question,
So exactly what you're doing here way, because you're an expert communicator as
well. So you ask a question, I answer, and you reflect on
the answer and you ask me moreabout it, or you give me your
take on what I've said, andso that's that's the same on the app,

(23:41):
and it's same in business. Inbusiness, what people sometimes do is
think they're doing a good job byjust asking the person questions, but they're
not sitting with the person, they'renot really caring about the person, they're
not making it about the person.So you know, things like that I
think really a pertinent in both arenas. So for me, that's my big

(24:07):
thing is if you can get thecommunication right in your dating role, if
you can get it right in businessand vice versa. So what you're saying
is that I would actually do prettywell on tender. Yes, you would,
you do extremely well and bumble andhingee. A lot of pep married

(24:29):
men they always go, oh,I want to I'll read your book,
but I'm just doing it for researchpurposes because I'm not going to get on
there, and I know men aren'tgoing to get on there. But there
are some some interesting stuff, likestuff like some married men who are no
longer getting jobs or getting what intheir needs met in their marriages sexually.
So I've got quite a few menwho've you know, and I've just given

(24:53):
ways of asking nicely or discussing itor you know. So again, a
lot of around around communication. Soit's not just for people who want to
go out and get lady who aren'tin relationships. Hit. I think it's
really handy for people who are inrelationships as well. Yeah. No,
I think that's actually really good thatyou mentioned that, because so many people

(25:15):
struggle in their business because their homelife is not exactly up to par.
It's not where they want to be. And I think it's applicable to both
men and women, right because ifwomen aren't getting either and they're wanting that
intimacy, it's going to affect theirability to perform, you know, during
the day at their work or stayfocused if they're struggling at home. Because

(25:38):
I think intimacy is a huge partof marriage, isn't it. Yeah,
an intimacy can take different forms fordifferent you know people, And I'm not
an expert on intimacy. I'm justgiving you know, my take on it
after talking to hundreds of people.And so if intimacy would you know,
for a women might be about feelinglike they're scene and cared about um and

(26:03):
and you know that the sex isnot you know, wam bam, thank
you man potentially, so yeah.So although sometimes they might like you know,
sometimes that can be good. Butyeah, so it's just about you
know, reading the other person andcontinually being aware of the other person's needs
and looking after yourself as well.I think. Yeah. And for those

(26:26):
of you who are listening and thinkthat wham bam, thank you man is
always just a man's thing, No, I've heard people actually say and maybe
Marie, maybe you can back meup on this one that says wham bam,
thank you mister, is also somethingthat is is true as well for
some woman. Yes, and youknow sometimes I, um, you know,

(26:48):
I have the luxury of being anentrepreneur working from home, and I
have a special lover who's been aroundfor about six years, and you know,
um, often it is a bitof a when them, you know,
in between meetings, and it's avery nice way. It's much better
than coffee, let me tell you, yes, unless it's like, yeah,

(27:11):
I can't even think of any coffeethat could match the pleasure of that
level of intimacy. Yeah, yeah, exactly exactly. And I've heard with
them a lot more people working fromhome now. I think it's great.
I think a lot more couples,you know, having special lunch breaks or

(27:33):
tea breaks without the sea, rightmidday delights exactly. And you know,
and what I love about this conversationis that, you know, it's it
kind of challenges the stigma of oh, we can't be talking about that,
or no that's not that's not appropriate. It's like what is appropriate? What
is inappropriate? We're talking about somethingthat all of us, like you're saying

(27:55):
when you're growing up, is likewe're all thinking about it, We're all
yearning for it on some level moreright, sometimes not so much because we've
we get it and then we don't. It's not like a constant yearning,
right. I don't understand. AndI think I can't speak speak for um
like American culture or a Canadian culturein Australia, but I think, you

(28:18):
know, it might be similar.It's still quite taboo and um. Also,
I don't know if I'm going abit off topic, but just often
some cultures it's like they passed themen pass down to their sons, you
know, their wisdom around effects andintimacy. And I think in Australian culture

(28:44):
you don't do that. You don't. People often think that the only two
places people get information about sex isfrom school, and it's basic you know,
anatomy and how babies may and pawnand so there's there's life, there's
nothing in between. So I've actuallyjust one of my hey I didn't tell

(29:06):
you why, one of my videoswhen viral on TikTok two million views,
um, and it's about low jogs, and I've had young guys actually thank
thank me for the information. Huh. So where else are they gonna?
You know? And I've talked aboutmost women don't like their head being pushed
down, but no one talks aboutthat. Women just put up with it

(29:30):
and and you know some women mightbut most don't. But be in the
poor things, that's what happens.So got poor guys, a lot of
them not getting um not having discussionsabout people. You know, where did
they get the information from? SoI think he should be talking more about
it. And I've only talked moreabout it in my later years. When

(29:53):
I was in my twenties, Ididn't talk about it that much with my
girlfriends. So it's really hard tofind, you know, the people in
your life or the places to getyou know, information and feedback around six.
Right, Well, you're gonna haveto share that link about the whole
TikTok thing that went viral because I'msure now people aren't going to be curious.

(30:15):
I was like, oh, Imean, I'm sure they can find
you and find our TikTok and everythinglike that, but that one for sure,
And you're right there. I believethere needs to be more conversation around
it and worldwide. I think theUniversity College of London. I think I
told you this in our in ourprivate conversation that they did a study around
multiple topics and they thought, youknow, sex was going to be like
the main taboo. I mean,it's still ranked up there like number two,

(30:38):
and then of course money is andended up being number one, which
surprised everybody because everybody thought sex wasgoing to be the So sex and money,
you know, the biggest drivers formost of humanity are also the biggest
taboos that we we we deal with. We're stuffed, why we're stuffed?

(31:02):
You know, It's funny because Iwent to a school and did a presentation
to parents about helping them understand howto talk to their children around money.
And I did a little kind oflike an informal question, you know,
or poll, and I asked them, how many of you have taught your
kids about the birds and bees talkedabout sex? You know, half the
room raise their hand, which wasimpressive to me. I was like,

(31:22):
wow, you guys are really PROGRESSII've given that it was a grade school.
They were not even in junior higheranything. Yet I said, wow,
that's really good. I said,put your hands down. How many
of you had the conversation about money, about how money works and how money
can you know? Be a toolin their lives and how what they should
do with their money. A fraction, only a fraction of the people raise
their hand, which is mind blowingto me. And so, yes,

(31:44):
sex is still up there as ataboo in in a lot of different areas.
In fact, it's still part ofthe big rating system that they use
in the States for movies and youknow, content and media that's out there.
And then of course then there's money. So yeah, you're right,
we're kind of stuffed in that regard, and that's why it's so important that
we have these conversations. Yeah,exactly, exactly. I actually talk to

(32:08):
my kids about money, but Iget to be torn, and I'd love
your take on this because I wantthem, I want them to be entrepreneurs.
But I was brought up to nottake risks and study hard at school
and go to university, and somy money talk is all a bit confused

(32:28):
because I'm like being an entrepreneur,but study hard and go to university.
And so it's really it's really quitefunny. Don't become a lawyer, have
a chain of law and law firms. So yeah, so even if you
are trying to educate your children,sometimes I think, you know, we're
not even clear ourselves, so itbecomes quite fraught. Yeah. No,

(32:51):
you're exactly right. Because when Istarted to get into it and I talked
to people, I didn't want tomake the parents wrong for not talking the
kids about money. And I thinkwhat came through was that, you know,
parents always want to do what's bestfor their for their children, right,
And a lot of the parents theredidn't even we weren't even sure how
their relationship with money. They weren'teven confident about it enough so that they

(33:14):
can go in front of their kidsand say, hey, let me tell
you a little bit about how moneyworks in this world. Truly from a
prosperous, prosperous level, right,Yeah, exactly. It's just a fascinating
thing. And then when when wesit down and talk about removing the cultural,
societal definitions of what it is andjust look at it from an energy

(33:35):
standpoint, that's when the dialogue changesand shifts for the better, because it
becomes a little bit more universal atthat point. Yeah, and I think
it takes the it takes the pressureoff. You know, if it's more
just a bad energy, then um, you know, it feels more like

(33:58):
an exploration of energy and how itworks for you rather than just about numbers.
Yep, that's exactly right. Ijust had this conversation with a client
of mine earlier today and I wastelling her the last thing, the parting
piece we had on our little sessionwas that I said, it's not about
the number, it's the energy behindthat money that you are setting the intention

(34:22):
for. And she sat there andshe goes, You're right. The money
doesn't the number itself doesn't mean anything. It's meaningless. It's the whole energy
and intention behind what that money isfor. Right, Yeah, right.
So for instance, I'm just aboutto settling on a holiday house vacation home,

(34:45):
and I'm going to use it Airbnbas well. But it's my fourth
property and this has just been somuch easier because it's my dream to have
the you know, take the kidsto the beach, and it's just so
much just so much positive energy aroundit, and um, it just feels

(35:06):
so much lighter, whereas there otherproperties are Like I felt like I was
struggling and I've got to do this, and in my brain I thought of
people are going to push back onme, and the banks aren't going to
agree and there was a lot ofhassle. But once this one, because
my energy is much freer and Ihave a belief around it and I'm taking
action align with my energy, it'sjust much easier. Yeah, exactly.

(35:30):
And you you got it right onthe head. I mean it was.
It's interesting because when they're I tellmy students, my clients all the time,
when you align your purpose with yourmoney flow, with your prosperity flow,
that's when grace and ease. That'swhen things become effortless. That's when
you're in the flow. When it'swhen you don't have a clear purpose or

(35:51):
reasoning and it's just to do itfor the sake of doing it because it's
supposed to the thing to do,that's when sometimes it becomes a bit of
a grind. Yeah, exactly exactly. I totally agree. So, um,
it's all intertwined, isn't it.Yeah. I mean, would you
say the same thing as for thosewho are struggling with dating, or struggling
with tender or struggling with intimacy athome, is that there's a there's kind

(36:14):
of like a last or a misalignmentor disconnect with greater purpose and meaning and
reasoning, Yes, all of it. Yeah, and and but I think
you can get too hung up onit because sometimes we go what is that
greater purpose? I don't know,it's so hard any dating, but I
know I just don't want, youknow, um, you know, sex

(36:37):
with someone once. I think Iwant more, but I don't really want
to full on a relationship. Idon't know, you know, I think
sometimes there's an intermediary situation of youknow, what do I instead of what's
that far off goal that I'm notsure of or that far off you know,
thing to go for? You knowwhat in my heart and soul and

(37:00):
my penis want right now. Soit's almost like, go for something that
your energy wants now. Doesn't haveto be you know, like you might
be clear, like do I wanta relationship? I don't know. I've
just come out of one. Ijust come out of my marriage or whatever

(37:20):
it is. But it's like almostjust choose the thing that feels right for
your energy now and go for thatand then it will flow better. Oh.
I love that. And I thinkthe simplicity and the deeper the depth
of that. I mean, itsounds simple how to get laid on tender,
but I think that's a reflection exactlyto what you're saying right now,
is that in the moment, youprobably do just want to get laid,

(37:44):
right, And I think the importantthing is how you approach it. Are
you approaching it in a congruent andauthentic way, which then even though you
do get laid it might open upsome deeper connections as a result of that
approach, right, instead of quotingjust together, I mean, maybe that's

(38:04):
all you need in that moment.But yeah, I think I think what
you're saying is that that communication pieceand being willing to engage and have a
back and forth and that approach onewill get you late, but it also
opens up some opportunities for you forsomething more or later I should you decide
you want more? Yeah, Andyou know, like there's an example of

(38:24):
two guys at the moment. Onesends me a message and says, I'm
over from Perth, which is theother side of the country for three months
here on business. Are you opento some fun times or something? And
it just doesn't appeal to me atall, So he's not. It's just
like at least say hello or youknow, wanting to get to know me.

(38:47):
Or like it's just too full onand cold. And the thing is
he thinks he's being directed that approachesAnd there's another one who is, um,
this this Irish guy who's like,let's go for a walk, and
and he wants sex as much asthe other one, but he's approaching it

(39:08):
differently. He's at least, youknow, you know, willing to go
on the journey, willing to havea little bit of uncertainty and you know,
and take action. And I quitelike him, like you know,
and it's not going to be anything. It's just going to be part of
the journey of you know, discovery. It's going to be fun. Yeah,

(39:30):
And which leads me to this,this this thing that that goes around
about these dating apps is that andI think there's a little bit of shaming
of people who can't can't come upwith either a direct or a clever opening
line. And I love that yousaid just say hello. Is that Is
that still an effective way to atleast open up a conversation or does it?

(39:52):
Do you know what I'm talking about? I think from what I've observed,
that clever opening that will just likeyou know, capture them just right.
I don't think clever cuts it.You know, if you can,
that's great. I think it's showingan interest in the other person and not
making about you and standing out.So one key thing that men can do

(40:13):
is comment on my profile because I'vewritten something about you know, I'm proud
of that I left corporate life andI'm an entrepreneur and you know, so
say hey, Mauring, you know, how's entrepreneuri or life going? And
I go, oh, good,he's read my profile. He's interested in
me as a person, not reallythat much. Maybe he just wants sex,
but but you know, make abit of an effort to um to

(40:37):
connect to the woman. So that'sthat's clever, connecting to the woman,
is what she said. Yeah,it's interesting that years ago. Yeah,
you know, it's interesting because yearsago, I mean, it's so validating.
I'm so happy that I was ableto have this conversation with you years
ago. When I was on datingapps and everything, I actually would not

(41:00):
reach out to people who didn't taketime to build out their profile because I
actually quite enjoyed reading people's profile onwhat they're putting out there, and I
did want to make comment something especiallyI was more intrigued about what they were
willing to write versus just their pictures. Yes, And the other thing that

(41:21):
I would say to men, don'tdon't tell me I'm beautiful or I'm gorgeous
or whatever else, because it's sosuperficial, and you know, women get
it a lot, so comment ontheir person. So for Carmen, my
amazing business partner, she's really intoweightlifting, and there's a picture of her
lifting something and so you know,right, oh, I love a strong

(41:45):
woman. How good is it?At that opening line, you can tell
that that's important to her. She'sput a picture of herself lifting on the
profile, right, and so youcan also read what they've said or what
you see in the photo comment aboutthe person. So I think, you
know, yeah, definitely that isThat is key. And I'm also attracted

(42:07):
to two intelligent men who you know, um are interested in me, right,
go beyond just the picture and theyactually read yeah, because if you
know, you're going to say,oh, you know, nice pair of
lungs or nice boobs or whatever else. Yes, I do. But can

(42:28):
you imagine how many times I've youknow, I've heard that. You know
it's not because it's obvious everybody knewit you know, it's just like,
yeah, it's there, um,so so go with something else. And
then there's something else that I thinkpeople need to know. If she is
really attracted to you and there's thatlike that sexual desire, you can get

(42:49):
away with a lot more. Youcan get away with hello, you can
get away with a lot more.If that guy who from Perth who'd written
up for some fun and I looked, I looked at his photos and he's
BUYO went oh my gosh, likeyou really do it for me, then
he would get away with it.It's said, oh yeah, But I
think that could be what can bekind of misleading and leading people to think,

(43:13):
oh, I should be more direct. Someone that says, oh,
I'm direct and I get results allthe time, And then they're not taking
an account that they've got some greatpictures up right, And so maybe these
people that learn from that's like,oh, I just got to be direct
and they don't have great pictures upAnd it's so funny. I remember seeing
people putting up certain pictures and they'relike, do you realize you're on an

(43:36):
app? Who you're supposed to attract? Somebody? I could barely tell who
or what you are, and they'rereally sad. And I've heard from guys
that women do it too. Oneof my pitches, I had a tripod
out in the front garden. Itook a hundred pitches to get that picture.
Look, I'm putting some bloody effort. Let me tell you, yeah,

(44:00):
don't take it from the laws.So I can see three gens.
You're actually a good looking guy,please, you know, have some goes
and if you really stuck, getsomeone to take a picture of you,
or or contact you mate, youknow, and say, hey, you
know, let Timmy went on holidays. You've got any picks about you know?
So I think it's about making theefforts. Yeah, I think so

(44:22):
too. And then there's so manydifferent there's so many different layers of this.
And now I don't want to asktoo many questions that people can actually
get from the book, because itsounds like it's a book that people should
really kind of look into getting,even if they're not single. You know,
don't let the title mislead you.You could probably learn a bit a
thing or two about this whole communicationpiece, which is important ubiquitously. What

(44:45):
do you say to because because youare helping men specifically, there is a
vast difference in terms of experience whenit comes to men being on dating apps
versus woman being especially on Tinder,where it goes both ways, whereas bumble
it's like the women have to makethe first move, right, so Tender
it's like it goes both ways.So, you know, obviously women probably

(45:07):
get a lot more attention, alot more opportunities, a lot more reach
outs, whereas men maybe not asmuch. Right, So what what do
you what do you say to helpkind of men kind of understand or kind
of navigate that challenge. Yeah,well, I think firstly, there's the
maths. So if you look atthe math um, there's you know,

(45:30):
way more men on there than thanwomen. So if it's so, then
it becomes a little bit of anumbers game. So if you've got No.
Number one, what I love aboutthem is you can't see your competition.
So it's not like, you know, you're at the pub and your
best mate robs sitting on the girlthat you like, like it's great.
You might be that you can't seeit, So that's chick. There's a

(45:52):
lot of business there. You know, you know, you're not you know,
competing best anyone that you can see, but you do because of it,
there's this difference in the numbers.I think you really do have to
make an effort, put your bestfoot forward, be resilient and learn from
what doesn't go well. You know, if you're not getting any matches,

(46:15):
then treat it like business. Ifyou're not getting any leads, you change
up the Facebook ad, wouldn't youexactly? You know, you test and
measure, do a split test.So with with dating, I think it's
these apps, um just change.You know, if it's not working,
it's not because somebody no one likesyou, it's because what you're putting out

(46:37):
there is not attracting people. Soand you don't have to attract hundreds or
thousands of women. You know,you don't have to attract that many.
It's just you know, you're justthe ones that you know and there's a
good match. So test and measureif firstly, the photo is the biggest
things if if it's not, Ifyou're not getting any then change up the

(46:58):
photos. As you said you,I'd add some comments in your bio.
One pet hate of mine is oneof the guy or a guy I saw
recently. He just wrote that there'sprompts for some of the apps. Now,
so I like going or you know, my greatest fear is and you

(47:19):
dot dot dot, you fill outthe sentence. But one guy recently like,
my greatest fear is fish. Ireally like to eat fish. Like
It's like he was, um,it's being silly, and it wasn't even
very funny. It was just likejust not making an effort or not filling
it in. So I think that'sanother aspect is your photos fill it in.

(47:45):
And then when you if you doget a match to actually you've got
to bring more energy to a conversationthan you would in real life on the
app because there's no tone, you'renot they're singing in front of you,
So you really want to get thatenergy happening as soon as possible and then
move them off the app, rightright. I love that, and I

(48:07):
love how you you have through yourjourney on it, and you're obviously still
using it to either for a researchor for your own personal or both.
I love how you kind of deconstructedit all right, Yeah, I did,
and like, well, I putmyself out there because in the book
as well, there was one guythat I met I went to Sydney on

(48:29):
business and I met this guy andthe sex was amazing. It was real
connection. And then afterwards we hadthis sexting conversation and I'm not and it
was really great. So what Idid later for the book is I went
back and had a look at theconversation and I found out why it was

(48:49):
so good. So it's like Idid a bit of you know, um
and right, and I put theconversation in the book. And then I
pointed at which was confronting because it'stalking about me and my body, but
anyway, I put it in thebook, and then I go, the
reason this works is because of thisreason. The reason when he said that
that worked because he was complimenting mein it and he's an example of it.

(49:14):
So instead of just saying, hey, guys, sexting can work if
it's done right, I've actually triedto go, well, here's an example
for you, right exactly toe.So it's almost like this is one of
the best self imposed clinical trials foryourself because you get to enjoy yourself at

(49:35):
the same time of being able toshare your experience in a kind of like
a teaching, empowering, helpful formatto help others. Yeah, and I
actually way, I think I wantit to be thought provoking because I want
people to decide their way. Soyou might look at that texting and go,
yeah, I see what she's sayingthere, but that doesn't work for

(49:57):
me for what It there for thisreason, and I think that's great.
So I'm all about people coming upwith their own way of doing life,
of doing business money. You've justgot to get the energy right for you
that works for you. So it'snot like the Bible of sex, dating
relationships. It's here are some ideas, here's why I think this works.

(50:22):
Then you go away and test andmeasure yourself. Yeah. I love that
you said that, because in myworld are the pattern and technology that we
use to help and understand our clientsand human beings in general. Basically,
no two people get the exact sameresults, which then supports the very powerful

(50:44):
understanding that we all have our ownunique journey, we all have our own
unique way of doing things, andwhereas you know you can, whereas you
do it through the context of tenderand showing the examples and inspiring them to
say, hey, this is notthe own way, right, we scientifically
show them the exact same thing everynight in the context of tender, but

(51:04):
it can be applied there, that'sfor sure. Yeah, and I think
that's great. I think a bigproblem I think with our society is we
want to find the answer. Iwant to find the answer to life.
We want to find the answer toeverything. And I think the answer is
within us, and the answer maychange, and the answer is different for

(51:29):
different people. So there's lots ofanswers. So I think, you know,
people trying to find this definitive wayto be successful in business, the
definitive way to find a partner,the definitive way. I just don't think
it works that way. And Ithink we should approach approach things differently.
I think we should, you know, watch those TikTok videos or research stuff

(51:52):
and then let it wash over andsee what sticks and what we wanted to
give a go and then see ifit works. Yeah. I love that.
It's kind of like you know,panning for goldies. That's like kind
of shake it out and see whatsticks and see what doesn't, what filters
through, and then whatever sticks isyour gold nugget. Everybody has your own

(52:13):
unique set of gold nuggets. Yeah. I love that analogy because we all
have our own gold. And youknow, as they always say, what
once work works, especially you knowin marketing business will no longer work.
You're that same Facebook ad will notor or you know Google ads that once
works at some stage or not.So it's about always being aware of that

(52:36):
and evolving. And sometimes you've gotyour nuggets and they're there for a while,
and sometimes you might have to gopanning for gold again. Yeah,
I feel like I should get backon these apps just to get a little
bit of an extra reminder of whatto do in my business. Yeah,
yeah, yes, exactly. We'reall learning, isn't it. We will

(53:00):
all strive to be experts in something. But I think when we do and
you get a lot of knowledge andinsights which can really helpful for people.
But I think it's just a continualjourney, isn't it. Oh? Absolutely,
And if you have this deeper driveto truly serve with your expertise,
know that your expertise it's also evolving. It's also growing, right because what

(53:22):
we used to know back then thatwork then may have evolved to a point
where it's not as effective as ifwe did something else to it or added
another layer to it, or tweakedthe mechanism around it, you know,
just to make it better. BecauseYeah, I love the way you're saying
that, because I think sometimes peopledon't. Sometimes they just get you know,

(53:42):
I actually get very disappointed if Isee a present to present something and
if I go ten years later andthe person still got the same presentation,
I'm really disappointed because it's it's likebecause they're not giving any growth. So
like people find their little models thatyou know, they love out this model
and then or that create a modeland then it's like, yes, this
is the meaning of you know,how to do whatever in business. And

(54:06):
then so our tenues later have youyou know, is it not evolved?
Right? It's like you're you're you'redoing the same thing again. It's like
the comic that does runs the sameroutine for like seven years and you're like,
come up with something new already.We've heard this already. I like
you, but you're saying the samejokes. I can only laugh so much
at the same joke somebody. Yeah, and I think maybe in the bedroom

(54:30):
as well, I think it's youknow, there'll be the favorite to go
to that, you know, mixit up a bit mix up your intimacy
and um and trying new things.Yeah, try new things. And I
think that's it, you know forpeople who like to just throw the baby
out with the bathwater, for example. What would you say to this is
that, like for example, porncan if if there's a healthy way to

(54:52):
use it as a way to maybeinspire something that you can do inside,
because they're you know, they're verythey're very innova, I think in that
industry. Look, I'm not um. I think Pawn's great, Like you
know, it serves a purpose purposefor you know, various people at various

(55:12):
stages in their lives. You know. I remember I used to watch it
with an old boyfriend years and yearsago, and um, you know it
was great. It really get usgoing and who who um right? But
yeah, So I think it's likeeverything, everything's just a tool, and
it's it's how how you use it. You use it, and sometimes you

(55:34):
can use tools badly and sometimes weuse them well. So um right,
And just because you have a largeone doesn't mean you know how to use
it well exactly exactly. And I'vegot a theory two things. Men who
are really tall and men who havereally large ones. Um, they rest

(55:55):
on their laurels, so they youknow, um, I open this,
you know, like the short guysof the world, the ones with not
as big appendage, like a reallycreative and you know, it's life through
you know, and they experiment andthey make the best of it and they
can be just amazing lovers. Soit's just don't ever rest on your laurels

(56:16):
always in life. I think umand insects in business always try to be
better. Yeah, now what wouldyou define as tall? But you know,
no, well, um, inhey, do you guys over there
still do? Because when we describehow tall someone is, you know,

(56:37):
someone goes over there sixty three.Do you use imperial to talk about how
tall someone is? We do?We do? Actually, Yeah, that's
good because my dad used to alwayssay to me when they started using um,
you know, centimeters. You goon the news, you go,
if they really want to catch therobbers, they'd say six foot three,
naught, he's one hundred and eightyfive centimeters or whatever, and no one

(56:59):
knows had tool buddy. Yeah,yeah, people may not have a six
feetal okay, because I'm six feetand I was like, I don't think
I'm resting on my laurels, soI have to anyway, I know,

(57:23):
right, I'm resting on my laurels. Oh hello, okay, So anyway,
but um, believe it or not, we've actually went way over time.
But I didn't want to stop becauseas expected this was gonna I knew
this is gonna be such a funconversation. I'd so appreciate you willing to
share all that you've shared and withsuch candor. Um, if someone was

(57:45):
listening to this, and I knowsomeone most likely will and wanted to reach
out and connect, get a copyof the book, or find some way
to tap into more of the knowledgethat you've accumulated being your own um tender
petri dish, clinical trial guinea pigof yourself. Yeah, what will be

(58:05):
the best way for someone to connectwith you? Yeah? So I've kept
everything quite uniform. Way, Soit's how to get laid on Tinder dot
com that I you and on thatwebsite. We've started a podcast Carmen and
I are talking about six mainly inrelationships. Um, so how to get
laid on Tinda dot com? Thata you. So it's got it's got

(58:29):
episodes of the podcast. It's gotthe book on kindle version if you want
to electronically, um, you canorder a hard copy as well, and
then we'll be adding more and moreresources to that. So that's the best
place to go, perfect And youwill find that link in the discussion of
this of this episode below, andthat way you can tune into their podcast

(58:54):
and also get a copy of thatbook on audible or hard copy if you
want to use us this as yournew Bible on your nightstand. So is
that blaspheming for me to say that? Never mind? Okay, but well
again, Mauren, thank you somuch for bringing your life, bringing your

(59:15):
your lovable quirkiness onto the show.I so enjoyed the conversation, and I
hope you did too. If you'relistening to this and you didn't catch a
lot of the correlation to why Ifelt this was such a good fit for
Untethered and Prosperous, then give itanother listen and see if you can catch
the layers of just value of whatwas discussed or shared in our communication so

(59:39):
in our conversation. So again,Marie, thank you so much for coming
on. I look forward to whatall unfolds and maybe we'll have you back
on again just to have another conversationabout the evolution of how do you get
laid on tender? Thanks? Iloved it and that's for this episode.

(01:00:01):
Thank you for listening, because youlistening is what inspires our guests and me
to continue doing what we can tohelp untether and elevate more human beings to
new heights of prosperous success. Now, if what you heard today inspired you
to want to finally untether from thebad money stories or chronic self sabotage behavior

(01:00:22):
patterns that's been holding you back,then you'll want to join our exclusive,
members only private podcast that dives deeperinto the topics discussed here, along with
more actionable strategies, tips, andtrainings. Just click on the link in
the description of this episode to findout more. Until next time,

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Episode 56 - “Rejection is Redirection“ with Maureen Pound

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 56 - “Rejection is Redirection“ with Maureen Pound