April 3, 2024 • 48 mins
Hey Light Shiners! THERE IS A SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING in this episode. I am joined by Scottie a same-race Black adoptee who shares about their net-positive adoption experiences and religion trauma. We do speak about assisted suicide so please use caution listening and speak to mental health professionals If you are having suicidal thoughts. Always Shine Your Ligjht.
Follow the guest on social media! @scottieslittlelife
Watch the video of this episode only on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45714095&fan_landing=true
If you would like to be on the show please fill sign up here https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdFZxNnCSntbuvjrxjjvZco3BmsCVNELmU1WzlYPCOongNNiA/viewform?usp=pp_url
Please help us keep shining light on the truths of the foster care system by donating. Please click the link to donate! https://karlosdillard.com/checkout/donate?donatePageId=611ab8be7dbb68767abf984e
Follow the guest on social media! @scottieslittlelife
Watch the video of this episode only on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45714095&fan_landing=true
If you would like to be on the show please fill sign up here https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdFZxNnCSntbuvjrxjjvZco3BmsCVNELmU1WzlYPCOongNNiA/viewform?usp=pp_url
Please help us keep shining light on the truths of the foster care system by donating. Please click the link to donate! https://karlosdillard.com/checkout/donate?donatePageId=611ab8be7dbb68767abf984e
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Content warning. The Wards of theState podcast may contain material that may be
harmful or traumatizing to some audiences.Listener discretion is advised. Heylight Shiners,
(00:38):
Welcome to another episode of Varge ofthe State. We can We're gonna keepushing
them out, y'all. We're gonnakee pushing them out. We're getting so
close to one hundred episodes. It'svery I'm so excited to get this many
episodes and I'm so excited to havethis many episodes and left experience so so
many different people. You know,We've had foster youth, adoptees, we've
(00:58):
had kinship, we've had guardianship experiences. It's just been great. It's been
great to get all of these experiences. Today, we have another guest the
name of We're going by Scotty,right, Scotty. That's me Scott.
That's me Scotty. That's one thingI forgot to ask. I was like,
what, because I usually talk toyou online. So I was like,
do you want to go for Scotty. We have a guest name by
(01:21):
the name of Scotty who's going togive their lift experience as an adoptee.
And I think the same race adoptee. I think that's kind of different about
you is that you are adopted byblack folks. So I'm definitely interested to
hear that perspective because usually I heara lot of transracial adoption lift experience,
but never a black adoptee who gotadopted in black black people to adopt y'all
(01:41):
sometimes, because I know y'all saythat we don't. But before we get
into Scotty's story, I just wantto remind you guys to leave a one,
two, three, four, fivestar rating and review for us on
Apple Podcast. Make sure you're subscribingto us on Spotify and sharing with your
family and friends. On iHeartRadio.You can listen to the episodes on your
Alexa. I always have to whisperit because I don't want to make any
(02:01):
of ours go off, but Ilove listening to the episode. Definitely you
can. Oh. You know onething I also found out too. If
you have Apple car Play, ifyou just like hit the button in your
car and says like that, askyou like, what do you want to
do? You can just say,hey, I want to listen to Word
of the State podcast, and itbrings it up so that was kind of
cool. I figured that out inmy car. But without further ado,
(02:22):
I do want to get to Scottistories. So welcome to this episode.
Welcome to the show. Scotti.Just kind of start off with your lived
experience. Thank you so much forhaving me, Carlos. Before you can
get started, I just want tothank you so much for your platform.
You've really opened up my eyes andI'm really grateful for you. So thank
you for having me here for thisconversation. My pleasure, my pleasure.
(02:44):
So let's go right into the nittygritty. Let's get into the nitty gritty.
Okay, So a little bit aboutme. So I'm thirty three years
old, currently a flight attendant travelingthe world, and I am adopted.
I was adopted at six weeks oldand my parents then divorced when I was
two, so there was a wholecontentious custidy battle that came from that.
(03:07):
So yeah, it's just been thisjourney drama in the family since I've been
born. Really it's been a lotof fun. So kind of started off
at the beginning of your life.You said you adopted at six weeks old,
so do you know anything about yourbirth parents? Do you know the
situation that started you to place youin that position to be adopted. Kind
(03:28):
of let us know what happened.Yeah, So I reconnected with my birth
family last May. It's currently February, so or March, I guess.
So it's been a year and wereally haven't had an open line of communication.
It was just like, hey,I'm here. Just wanted to let
(03:49):
y'all know that I'm alive. AndI found out about you guys. So
I was moving out of Denver andfound a letter that my sister actually wrote
me who had some like identifying informationon there. So I looked them up
on Facebook and reached out and especiallythem on the phone. We have one
of Facebook. I love it.That's how That's how I found my That's
(04:10):
how I found my birth family too, was on Facebook. Is amazing.
It's amazing sometimes great reason. That'sone resource I use what I'm looking for
people honestly, like people say canyou help me find these people? We
do those investigations that we'd be doingon Facebook too, and then people will
share, especially like ten twenty yearsago and facebooks. Wow, has it
been twenty shirts since Facebook spent Ithink so? Oh my god, don't
(04:33):
don't date us. I was like, oh my god, I'm voted.
Like people forget that. They postthings like and internets forever. So if
it's attached, and if we getyour name popping up, we can go.
We can go years all the wayback to like twenty twelve, were
going back. Yeah, so youfound your you found your birth family on
Facebook? How was that? Like? Did you just like send them a
(04:55):
message? Like how did that playout? Well? It was actually really
interesting becau has. The letter thatmy sister wrote was actually addressed to my
birth name. So I reached outand I was like, hey, I
think you know me as this.I just wanted to say hey and kind
of open up that line of communication. So yeah, it was really interesting
(05:18):
learning a little bit about them,because really all I wanted to do is
get like my medical history and likefigure out like what type of hereditary things
were going on there, so Icould you know, be more informed moving
on, should I decide to havekids or whatever else. So yeah,
it was nice, But then Ijust shut down my social media, so
(05:41):
like I went completely off the grid. And with that was you know,
their relationship too, So I haven'treally reached it out since I went off
the grid and like last summer soand have you have you had a chance
to meet them in person it orit's all been virtual. It's all been
virtual. I don't really have ahuge interest in meeting them in person,
(06:02):
not for anything bad. It's justI don't really care. It's not bad.
I don't horrible. That sounds horrible. I mean I should care,
but it's like I don't. There'snot a whole lot there that can It
can only inform where I've come from, not necessarily where I'm going, So
(06:24):
I don't necessarily want to continue lookingback that I'm so focused. Are you
familiar with the phrase sankofa, I'mnot so sankofa. I'm still learning too,
because I just learned about this.It's from I believe Ghana, the
Ghanian people in Africa, right,and it's this phrase of looking back at
(06:50):
your past. There's like a wholebird like it's if you look up the
san culpa bird that's connected to likeAfrican culture and specifically to my to my
people and God, and it meanslooking back so you can do better in
your future. Something along the line. I'm probably like quoting it wrong,
but sometimes what I've learned about myfamily is like I didn't want to look
(07:11):
back at the history, but likeyou just said, like it doesn't you
Learning about your history doesn't affect yourfuture because you're going to be on your
path regardless. But there's something aboutlooking back and seeing like it wasn't just
your parents, And I think that'swhat I connected to the most. It
wasn't just mom and dad. Itwas there are people who survived in my
family all the way, like Igot all the way to like eighteen or
sixteen, and these people were doctorsand teachers and really like astounding citizens,
(07:39):
right, And I think that thatis that's what I look for when I
say reconnecting with family. It's notnecessarily just reconnecting with close knit mom,
dad, sisters and siblings. It'sreconnecting to who you are. And I
think that that does make a changefor your future, right because remember who
you are? And didn't move usto say that, right, But we
can't remember who we are if wereally truly don't know who and by who
(08:03):
we are means our ancestors. Thereare millions of people, honestly on this
planet that had to survive to makewho we are today, and I think
there's just something to look back atthat and just say, you know,
I don't I don't want to reallyfuck with my birth family like that,
but there is some respect there that, you know, my ancestors survived to
make me to get to this point. So that's just my perspective. Or
(08:26):
you saying like, I don't haveto look back to go for and I
agree with that. You ain't gotto look back, but there's there's some
retrospective to look back at it,like wow, like my people survive for
me to be here. That doesn'tnecessarily have to be connected with your birth
family. It's part like the livingones that are here. And you know
what, as you're saying that,it makes total sense. But I think
that is one of the benefits ofbeing adopted by a black family is I'm
(08:48):
hyper connected to like their history,and I don't really feel because you know,
we're all in the diasporas, soI don't really feel that far removed
from it, consider like it waswhat three or four generations away from,
you know, child slavery. Soit's like none of us really have a
defined origin of where we're all frombecause you know how they did us,
(09:13):
So it's all kind of mixed andmelted together before the sixteen hundreds anyway,
So it's like, this is true. It's kind of cool to like,
it's kind of cool to have anidentity with my adopted family and have like
my firm identity there and have thatinformed me because they're really really strong people
(09:37):
and they work very hard, andI have a lot of respect for them.
I don't that's currently speak to them, but I do have a lot
of respect for it. Hey,listen, like I said, trauma and
communications like away, it comes andgoes and whatever is best and healthy at
for the child. That's why wesay child sin you know you're grown,
man, you were still the childin your adoption, right, so we're
(09:58):
going to say child since So speakingof your adoption, so you got adopted
at six weeks old. You justsaid like you really loved and respected your
parents. From my previous conversations withyou on TikTok, it sounds like,
you know, they gave you apretty good life growing up. You know,
there wasn't like perfect, no family'sperfect, but we're really considering the
stories we'd be hearing, it waspretty damn good, right, to kind
(10:24):
of talk about growing up. Howwas your experience growing up? Like did
you know you were adopted? Didthey make a big deal about it,
did you have any other siblings?How was your experience growing up? So
yeah, they were always really openwith me about my adoption. I remember
just like learning on from a veryyoung age because my mom is very light
skinned, so and I'm pretty chocolateso like it was that conversation, well,
(10:46):
I would give you, I wouldgive you a good caramel on a
good days, you know, letme get then. But yeah, she's
very light, like she's super superlight, So that is what's opened the
conversation. And yeah, they toldme like, hey, we essentially picked
(11:13):
you out, and you know,I was a kid, So it's like
they had to use words that werelike kind of dumb down for lack of
a better term, and they reallyexplained it to me in a way that
like I identified with it, likethe whole chosen thing. Like I know
that might be like a bad motifto go with, but like I believe
(11:33):
I've chosen by everything in life.You know, I live with abundance,
so like everything chooses me, Ichoose it back. So that's kind of
how I navigated life because of kindof those dumbed down conversations. I kind
of look at things like, Okay, do you choose me? Do you
not? If not, Okay,I choose myself always. So yeah,
(11:56):
it's it's kind of been that.And they opened up that conversation when I
was really young, and like Isaid, they divorced when I was two,
and then they both remarried and hadchildren right around when I was eight
and nine, so right around thesame time. So like I was an
only child from like then to eight, and then my younger siblings came along.
(12:18):
So and you say both both forboth of your mom and dad.
So they got remarried both and hadtheir had siblings from both of them.
Yeah, both of them had theirown biological children. Now I didn't ask
like why they chose to adopt me. I just kind of figured that there
was some type of infertility issues,but come to find out that that was
not the case. But yeah,I don't know why. And like I
(12:43):
said, I'm not talking to eitherof them. A lot of religious trauma
and like maybe we'll get into thatlater, but yeah, I don't know
how they how they religious and divorceand which religion, so they divorced and
my mom. You know how theJehovah's Witnesses sweep up on trauma Jesus,
Yeah, they got they got goodnot good yo ho of Witnesses. Yes,
(13:11):
I was knocking on put the storesat the youth girl. It was
not it was not my God,like you were like you were step in
it deep deep deep deep deep,Yeah, it was it was really really.
Was your dad also Jehovah witness growingup or No? No, he
was just heavily involved in like theBlack Methodist church. So like there's that
too, that whole like that hasits own issues, right, And I've
(13:35):
always been kind of queer, likealways been like a super queer leaning child,
so it's like there was no hidingthat. And in the black community
there's still a whole lot of issueswith homophobia running rampant, especially in the
church, and it was no differentin my household. So I'm so sorry
(13:56):
to hear that. I'm so sorryto hit there. So your mom was
there it I hit my mic becauseI get shaky when I heard about the
Jehovah witnesses. Uh So your mom'sa Jehovah Witness and you grew up you
kind of highlight a little bit ofa religious trauma. And I've talked to
other guests who were Jehovah Witnesses orSeven day Adventists, you know, all
(14:18):
of those those types of religion,not those types of religious at the time.
How did how did that? Yeah? Literally, how did that affect
you? Because you said, growingup in your adoption, you kind of
just like went with the flow,like you knew your parents chose you.
How did it feel to not havethe church choose you? You know,
because your parents had like kind ofingrained in you. Do you know,
(14:41):
choose you and choose things that chooseyou. But how can you be knocking
on doors saying like the Lord wantsyou when, according to the church,
the Lord even won't you. Exactly? Yeah, it made me extremely critical.
It made me start looking into thingsa lot more and being more not
only introspective, but deciding to gobeneath the surface of what was being presented
(15:01):
to me. And I studied it. I really studied the text, not
only of the Jehovah's Witnesses, butof other religions to see like what's going
(15:24):
on here? Like why is thisall? Knowing deity that it's just like
living this extremely voyeuristic lifestyle, watchingall of its creations. Why is it
picking and choosing who it likes andwho it doesn't like? Well, how
did it choose to pick? Likewhy did it pick that black people were
going to be enslaved for four hundredyears and do nothing about it? Like
(15:46):
why is this? Why is thisso just maybe hypercritical of organized religion,
especially organized religions that we can pinpointa specific date in America too, like
the Seven Day whatever, the Mormonsand the Jervas Witnesses. You can literally
look at the date where a whiteman decided this is a new religion.
(16:08):
And that's like I had questions.I'm going to start asking more questions.
I'm gonna start reading more into it, because what the fuck is that I
had that same journey because you know, I grew up Baptist and then super
Catholic. My adoptive parents are supersuper Catholic. And after it was like
right around college, I started toreally unpack because it just didn't make sense,
(16:29):
like like everything that you just described. And then I just started doing
more research, like you said,in other religions, and I found beauty
and religions like I found beauty andHinduism. I think there's so much beauty.
There is so much beauty, andfor the monks who practice Buddhism,
right, not for me. ButI just see that I can see the
beauty. I can see the beautyin it, right. I can even
(16:51):
see the beauty in some of thelike some Catholicism, right, there is
some some traditions that are I canjust see it, Judaism, all the
same things. But when it comesto the church itself as an establishment rather
we're talking about uh Joel the Witnessof Catholic Baptist it's organized church that really
bothers me. That really confused mebecause, like you said, it's like
they were eating they were running theircakes and eating it too. I call
(17:15):
it like cafeteria Catholics. That's whyI used to call him like you can't
you can't be like, oh thisis good and this is not good.
And then it didn't make sense becauseto me, I was like, if
God loves everybody, this nigga evil, like like he really evil. And
if you start looking at the touch, it's like he's killing babies, He's
he's out here destroying turning people tostone. This dude is a narcissistic sociopath
(17:41):
and if God went up against aCPS case, he would lose. He's
not sure. He's a catholicing sociolike liter not relentlessly children not horrible.
That is awful, horrible. Thathow you just explained that, like that
was your process. So I feelbecause I feel like religious trauma is something
(18:04):
that is so not spoken on toomuch, right, and it's definitely part
of your your adoption because you knowthey got adopted into that. Speaking of
your adoption, we we talked aboutadoption to slavery. That's one thing that
I think that we talk about alot. So you spoke about slavery,
the four hundred years, chattel slavery. What do you feel about the sentiment
(18:26):
adoption of slavery? Because I rememberwhen you first came on my page,
you were like, you're insane,bro. I feel like you're very sweet
about it, but it was prettymuch like you're insane, and over like
the weeks and months, you slowlylike ask a lot of questions and you
know, got a better idea.So what do you what do you feel
about that? And kind of tellthe listeners, because we've had this discussion
on life where you've you've, likeyou tell about how your adoption was great
(18:49):
overall, right, but you canalso start to see slowly what I'm talking
about when it comes to the legalities. Give give us a little insight on
that. Well, I think adoptionis slave and I don't think there's any
other way of putting it, becauseit requires a lot of mental, emotional,
and physical labor from the adopted child. That is something that's not ensured
(19:14):
the parents. They do a lotof work to In a perfect world,
the adopted parents will do a lotof work to ensure that this child has
everything that they need to succeed.Parenting is work, so these people,
adopted parents, have chosen this work. However, the adopted child was not
able to sign into that agreement,with most adopted children not able to sign
(19:36):
into that agreement consensually, So itbecomes this slavery element where you're literally doing
unpaid emotional labor towards these people,not only towards them and their family and
how will you navigate that, butalso towards yourself and how you navigate the
world as an adopted person. So, as I mentioned, like there's been
(19:57):
a lot of mental health issue currentlyongoing still today, and it's a lot
of unpacking and so much time andmoney and resources are spent towards figuring out,
like in quotes, what is wrongwith me? Even though I think
I'm fabulous. It's just like there'sa lot of things that aren't aligning,
(20:18):
and it's like, what is goingon with that? And how do you
think that? Do you think thatthese mental issues are directly attached to your
adoption or do you think they're justjust you know, everybody has issues.
I think everybody has issues. Ithink I don't think it would be fair
to attribute them all to my adoption, but I think it my parents' parenting
(20:41):
style definitely had a lot to dowith the way that I'm navigating life now.
So it's like, yeah, yeah, it wasn't it. It was
good because I didn't get like beator it's actually if you know, we
see we talked about that. Wetalked about that on the Live. You
(21:02):
do this thing. You do thisthing where and I think a lot of
adoptees do it where you minimalize yourtrauma because you give like but it's like
kind of playing like reverse trauma Olympics. You're like, well, I listen,
I wasn't geting raped, but it'slike okay, but you were like
literally being raped mentally by the byreligion, like right, so it's like,
(21:26):
what's worse. I don't know.Well that look like I said,
it's like reverse trauma Olympics because wecan't we can't compare trauma and we don't
want to minimize our trauma just becausewe know that somebody else had it a
different type of trauma. Right,let's talk about that. Is what are
some current trauma responses from growing upthat you're you're currently dealing with. My
(21:48):
career is definitely one of them.I am very up and down, constantly
on the go, mainly because likeI said, I don't like to look
back, so focused on the herenow and like how that affects my future.
So like in my career, it'slike I could be wherever, but
like the main focus is figuring outwhere I'm at right now in this moment,
(22:11):
because I barely know what day is, I barely know what stayed I'm
in. I don't even know whattimes that I'm in, So it's like
being focused on me and having ahome within me is like definitely, I
think a trauma response, but likenot to minimalize it, but I think
that's a queer trauma response and notnecessarily an adoptive trauma response. So like
(22:33):
most of my friends are queer,so I don't mean to minimalize the struggles
of being queer, but it's like, okay, like you got called the
F word a few times, Likeall right, Like that's not to say
it's minimalized, but it's just likeit informed how we as queer adults kind
of navigate the world around us,and in many ways, I think it
made me a stronger and better person. So yeah, I hate that it.
(23:00):
I know I am very minimizing,like a lot of things that have
gone on in my past, butI think it's mainly because like I'm gay
as fuck and like everyone I knowaround most of the people I know around
me are gay as fuck, andwe have a very similar journey, especially
if we were involved in the church. So I have I hold a lot
of that to the black queerness andmy community with that. So so circling
(23:27):
back on on the trauma response,so you said your career is could potentially
be because you know, it's go, go go. You're a flight attendant,
You're always going. I love thatyou said that too, because a
lot of flight attends I have alot of flight attendant to our friend.
By the way, hook your boyup with a friend and family pass,
and I'd be traveling too much.Wow, I probably. I promise I'll
(23:48):
behave and I know how to.I know we got to behave when we
get new friend and family paths.Okay, But I think that's something that
was something that was very like thatyou highlighted that in yourself, because I
have friends who are flight attendancy.They don't have a home, Like they
have a home, but like theyreally don't like have a home because they're
just traveling all the time. Likethey might have an apartment, but they're
(24:11):
never there. They never really haveto like lay roots anywhere. And do
you think so my question is,do you think part of the reason why
you chose that career is because youdon't want to have the time to just
like slow down and maybe look atand address some things that that might be
internal. So if you just keepgo, go, go, go,
(24:32):
go go, like you said,you don't have to look in the past.
Yeah, I think A lot ofit has to do with that,
because, like there are so manyother career choices for me, considering like
my education and whatever, Like Idon't need to be doing this like essentially
entry level job, but it's fun. I feel like my world is opened
(24:53):
up, and like you were saying, like you're as a flight attendant,
your home is kind of unstable atbest. Your physical home is kind of
unstable at best because you're rarely there. We're in hotels for ninety percent of
the year. But it requires meto have, like I said, a
(25:15):
home within myself and be like groundedand centered within me. But that doesn't
mean I'm not constantly exploring and learningand opening myself up and willing to challenge
myself and speak to people that disagreewith me. I have a limit with
that, like I'm not engaging withcertain political parties, but like I absolutely
(25:37):
have a home within myself when I'mconstantly challenging the world around me and my
worldview. So yeah, but Ido think that is a trauma response.
I because a lot of us,as fin etenans, are so not grounded
and just kind of floating where thewind takes us, and that can be
a good thing, but it canalso be really dangerous if you're just untethered
(26:00):
to anything. Yeah, I feelthat same way. You know, I
move a lot. I move aboutevery five to six years. I moved
states. Well, I'll just likeaudios and then me and my husband wrote
down we wrote down like six citiesand we roll a die and wherever this
diver lands on, that's where we'removing. And I think part of that,
yeah, we did. It's actuallykind of like our tradition. Now,
(26:21):
that's how we've ended up the lastthree places. And I have the
itch. I've only been in Arizonafor like two years, and I'm like,
maybe we gotta go somewhere else.You know, Arizona listen, not
as much as in Washington, notas I only have that one lady who
knock over my cart. Washington Statewas ridiculous. Seattle was like the most
racist, homophobic. Actually no,they weren't homophobic, they were just racist.
(26:45):
That was my issue talking about,you know, being surrounded by queer
folks. Also as a gay person, I thought that it'll be safer around
queer folks because you know, Ido understand when I re entered the black
community, there's a lot of issueswith homophoneia, and it can be very
dangerous and just very daunting to seeyour own people just hate you so much
just because of who you are,right, And it wasn't until I went
(27:08):
to Seattle and I was like,oh, hell no, I got to
deal with the homophobia from the homeof the gay community because they're also homophobic
people who work gay people. Andthen on top of that racism, and
then it was the Trauma Olympics.I had so many white quere men being
like, I'm just like you.I'm a marginalized I'm a marginalized identity tale
bab No, you're not like,okay, you're gay, great, like
(27:30):
honest, Like, it really missesme off because I'm like, you can
hide you're gay, like you cando a lot of people do it all
the time. I can never hidemy skin tone, I could never hide
my hair, I could never hideanything that looks like me because that's just
me, right, That's just whatit feels like to be a black person
(27:51):
in this country. So, yeah, we dealt with so much racism in
Seattle. But I don't know,I think that untethered life like you were
described, I like it. I'mnot lie, I do like it.
I don't think I would like itlike yours, because that seems that's a
lot. I also am lazy.I like to take a nap once a
day. I'm not lazy. I'mjust very structured and scheduled. I couldn't
(28:12):
do that like sleeping in the hotelrooms, or I'll be worried about bad
bugs and then I'll be having anxiety. I mean, I go home and
check my No, we're not doingthat. No, Oh my goodness.
Well, we're gonna take a quickbreak, Scotty. When we come back,
we're gonna talk more about body autonomy, what does that means to you
(28:33):
and what you believe? Uh,and what are your ideals on ethical suicide.
So we'll take a quick break andwe'll be right back. Hey,
Hey, Hey, this is Amandacul chair of the Black Mother's March,
and the Black Mother's March on theWhite House is a direct action led by
a coalition of black led organizations thatare involved in the struggle to rescue our
(28:57):
children from the custody of the state. We exist to expose the systematic attack
on black women and the black familyby the US government. We understand that
the government has been able to perpetratethis terror under the guise of protecting children
and families, but the facts areclear. The majority of children taken by
this system is due to neglect,and neglect equals poverty. Family police and
(29:22):
agents are two times more likely toinvestigate black families than white families. Black
children make up fourteen percent of theUS population, but twenty three percent of
the population of use captured by thissystem. The Black Mother's March is rooted
in facts in history. March withus on May twelfth, twenty twenty four
to show that the people have thepower to abolish this system and dream of
(29:45):
a new way forward. Heylke Shiner'swelcome back to the show, Make Sure
you guys are leaving a five starone two three for five star rating and
reviews. Hey somehe left one starreview on the podcast, y'all. I
wanted to read that real quick.It's my podcast, and I'm gonna call
(30:07):
you out, I said, onetwo three four five star rating review.
But you know what I am gonnaI did say that y'all can leave any
any type that y'all won't just behonest, and I think that they were.
They were honest, So I'm goingto reach all this and then what
I want y'all to do is goback and then give y'all's opinion on the
show, because that can't be thelast. That can't be the last comment
(30:27):
that I got. Y'all is notlooking cute, it's not looking good.
It's not a good look. Okay, So we do have a four point
eight star, y'all, So Ido appreciate that. Oh, actually,
we're so sweet. Some people startedleaving better, better stuff. Okay,
let me see where was it at? Where was it? Where was it?
(30:47):
Where was it? Okay? Sookay, so this person gave me
three stars, which I think washonest, and it says I give this
three stars because I love hearing people'slived experience. But those things to work
on. His interrupting of guests.He also doesn't seem to listen to the
guests when they speak. He willgrossly misinterpret things or ask a question that
(31:12):
literally was just answered while taking talkinga minute before. It's like, were
you listening, dude? He alsopronounces advice wrong and the content for so
I got a three star review goodand bad? Oh? Why? He
(31:40):
had like how you gonna read me? In my my podcast review sections absolutely
read. But by the way,UH give him five star because he absolutely
listens in this conversation from a guest. So I do I do? I
(32:01):
like literally I do. I knowsometimes when it edit it doesn't sound like
that, But I do also haveto like make sure I get the story
right. That's why we ask questionsbecause sometimes I don't understand. But make
sure y'all leave it one two threefor five star rating review. Uh to
kind of combat that bad three star. But without further ado, we're going
to get back to the episode.Oh my goodness, All right, Scotty.
(32:25):
So we're going over a lot todayin your story, and one thing
that you wanted to discuss in aconversation was body autonomy. What does that
look like? And then also somethingcalled ethical suicide. Is that like a
assistant suicide? Is that what thatis? Because I've never heard of ethical
suicide. I've only heard of likeassisted suicide, where you know, you
(32:45):
kind of help help help meet thefollowing early roight. Yes, So currently
in the States and in Canada andtaking places in Switzerland, that is what
ethical suicide is. It's called assistedsuicide. But here in the States you
have to have like some severe medicalimpending death moment to get considered for that
(33:07):
in Canada as well, whereas inSwitzerland you can just decide to do it.
But I think that ethical suicide issuicide with informed minds. So,
as I've mentioned, I'm not speakingto my family but currently, and that's
because they had me set to apsych ward last year. Yeah, like
(33:37):
Baker ex style, Yeah, fiftyone fifty who So yeah, that was
a whole lot of fun. ButI was ready to go, And I
like, I don't think there's awhole lot of I've been told I operate
with study nihilism, but like Idon't really see the benefit and a whole
(33:59):
lot of things that are going oncurrently, and I don't see like a
whole lot of reason to keep pushing. I'm still here obviously, so I'm
pushing and do my best to likebe everything, but like it seems so
dumb. Everything is so stupid,and it's like I want to dumb myself
down for this world around me.And I think that bodily autonomy is someone
(34:22):
making an informed decision, not necessarilyout of mental illness, but like out
of my options are so few andno matter how you slice it or dice
it. You know, they're criminalizinghomelessness, they're criminalizing not having a job,
They're criminalizing literally everything. They're makingit unattainable to have a home.
So it's like there's no way toreally succeed. And I think that it's
(34:49):
not fair, especially of Black people, to force them to be on this
hampsterrell of bullshit constantly. Black Americans, rather to be on this hamp sereal
of bullshit constantly, over and overand over again proving that they are excellent
in perpetuity forever, always, yetso big saying shit, and I think
that's psychically horrible and torture. AndI think that at some point people need
(35:14):
to recognize that you can't say theoptions are viaden or Trump, because we
have other options as well, andI think that that should be one of
them. But I don't want tobe like a pro suicide because I think
that's definitely bringing in the eugenics conversationand not with that. But like,
I do feel like there are otheravenues that people need to recognize are within
(35:38):
our body of the autonomy, andI think that suicide is one of them.
I think that's interesting take. Inever you know, I'm off for
baday autonomy, And I've never lookedat it that way. I guess I've
always supported assistant suicide for older peopleor if you have like a terminal illness
(36:00):
or just you're just not going toget better. But the way you just
described it, societal is a sickness. Like society is a fucking sickness,
and it's only getting worse. Andevery day there's a new war or new
people that we're trying to protect,and we have Congo and Palestine and the
water we have, flint we havelike it's just so much. So I
(36:20):
can definitely understand that. So thatkind of gave me a different perspective because
I've always, like I said,I've always supported as sister suicide for older
people or if they're terminal, butI've never looked at it as people just
being like I'm ready to go.I myself had some self attempts and through
my life, starting off when Iwas a young kid. I think my
first attempt was when I was eight, And I kind of understand sometimes like
(36:45):
what you say, like it fuckinglike, what what's the fucking reason to
keep going? Like why do wekeep pushing and I think the only thing
that honestly, and I tell myhusband this all the fucking time. I
always tell him, I say,you got to go first, bruh,
or I gotta go first. Igotta go first, because he's the only
thing that like keeps me pushing.I love my dogs, but I do
(37:06):
understand that, like they're going todie eventually, they're getting older, coming
in terms to that. But I'vealready made the decision, like, babe,
if I don't want to live thislife. I went through so much
trauma that I'm now in a veryhappy position in my life, and I
wanted to stay just like this forever. And I know that where humans and
(37:27):
life is going to happen. Butyeah, like if he goes, bitch,
I'm gonna be right. I'm gonnabe rapistie. I'm going over to
Switzerland, take vacation, ain't comingback coming back. I don't think that
it's anyone's place to say like no, no, no, because like,
if that is what's holding you here, I think it's really dismissive to say,
like no, no, no,you should keep doing this, you
(37:50):
should keep working for the benefit ofothers. But like I said, I
want to be very clear, Ithink it's with informed an informed adult should
be able to make that decision.I think that like kids, like when
you're in your teens, like it'sgonna be hard, but you do have
to kind of push through that tosee that there is a world outside of
high school. But after that worldoutside of high school hits, it's like,
(38:15):
what's next? Does it grow?Does it get any better? And
currently I don't really have a partner. I don't have We were talking about
a home, but like I don't. I'm currently like in this nebulous space.
My lease was up, and nowit's like I got to find a
new place in this new city thatI'm in. So it's like it there's
not a whole lot that I'm likesuper excited for. And when I was
(38:44):
ready to do it, it's likeI did my things. I've brought a
lot of joy to people, likeI've done my service, Like I feel
like I've served in the way thatI was meant to and now I feel
like I'm just wasting time. I'mgonna have a good time, but I
still feel like I'm wasting time.And it feels weird to have people be
(39:06):
like, oh no, no,no, don't do that. You make
me so happy, you make melaugh, you open up my eyes to
something different, and it's like,yeah, but that's a service that I'm
providing you again, adoption to slavery. I'm still providing the service to everyone,
always, constantly, And where atwhat point does the universe decide like,
(39:27):
hey, here's here's something for you, you know. So yeah,
the world is abundant, so I'msure it's out there, but I don't
have that tether like you have withyour husband yet. So it's like I'm
looking for it. I'm not gonnastop searching for it while I'm still here.
But like, I still feel likeif I would have been able to
be let go when I was,when I was ready, when I made
(39:50):
that decision, it would have beenthere would have been no love lost,
Like it would have just been likeI'm done, and like everyone moves on,
because as far as all my friendsand Famila are concerned, it did
happen, like I cut everyone offtotally so changed everything. So is that
is that going like no contact?Is that like your way of saying,
(40:15):
like society won't allow me to,you know, make this decision for myself.
So this is going no contact isthe only type of way that I
could, you know, make thatdecision for myself in a way, Yeah,
it feels like my alleged support systemwasn't necessarily trying to support me as
(40:35):
much as they were trying to maintainstatus quo. So it was like they
weren't actually listening to anything that Iwas saying. They weren't actually listening to
me, Like, it's financially notviable to exist post twenty twenty four as
a single person who is not interestedin moments, Like it's not viable to
exist in the city that I'm livingin on the income that I have at
(40:59):
all. Like it's it's completely way, way, way out of the realms
of reality. So it's like whenpeople are not acknowledging that and saying stuff
like, oh, well, youcould do this, you could use your
degree, you could do these otherthings, and I'm like that just means
that I'll be unhappy doing that.I need to have some type of autonomy
(41:22):
over like my life and my careerdoes bring me some type of joy when
it's going well. So it's liketelling me to do something in an office
all day long so I can makemore money is not not like a real
answer, and telling me to livesomewhere for seven hundred dollars is not a
real answer. So it's like,what answers are being provided to people,
(41:45):
what solutions, what resources are beingprovided to people that you know are feeling
like I am, And the answeris none. You've just kind of got
to truly pull yourself up by thebootstraps type shit. I don't believe in
that shit either. I don't wantto hustle like I don't like that's bootstraps.
Yeah, no, thank you.I don't wear boots like well,
(42:07):
actually, moment I might thrust themons, so right right, No,
I I definitely I I feel you. I feel you on that and I
think and I tell my husband allthe time, I'm like, I'm just
so thankful to find a person thatI can enjoy life with, you know,
and and live live for, youknow, not only for myself but
(42:29):
for but I can see how thatcan be really isolating if no one is
there, because I'm when I wasalone, it was very isolating. But
then to have your support system,like you said, just like not even
listen, not even understand, andyeah, and to society becomes not capitalistic.
(42:50):
We're just it's only going to getworse, Like it's only going to
get worse. We are looking atfamines, we're looking at global warming,
We're looking at the halves and thehalves not And yeah, I think I
agree. I think that if you'rean adult and you know, if you
have autonomy and you have made thatinformed decision, I think that that should
be that should be possible. SoI think I really want to appreciate.
(43:12):
I appreciate you getting vulnerable and sharingthat piece of yourself with me. Scotti.
Is there anything that you wanted tocover that we haven't covered? No,
but I do after saying that,I do just want to clarify that
I'm currently not suicidal or having anysuicidal ideation. So y'all can keep the
folks from my door. Okay,So they're gonna be like, please do
(43:39):
not. I do just want toclarify that before we how do you and
how do you talk about that?Like how do you be? Like I'm
good now, but like if itwas like if it was legal, like
let's sign our bitche like well,the way that I talk about it now,
and you know, therapists and psychologistswould be very upset to hear me
(44:00):
saying it. But I'm not activelysuicidal. But like if a Donnie Darko
moment happened, where like a jetturbine just like fell from the sky and
killed me and only me, thatwould be amazing, Like I would love
that to just like go out quicklyand like have that be that. But
I'm not going to run in frontof like a train or like do anything
like I obviously couldn't the methods thatare available. There are some methods that
(44:24):
are no longer available to me becauseof the fifty one to fifty whole,
and you know, the method thatI tried before just clearly didn't work out.
So I'm not actively going to tryit again. But I do think
that like I'm kind of passively suicidalstill, whereas like I'm just kind of
open to the fact that like anythingcould happen. But like I don't think
(44:45):
that that's really suicidal. I thinkthat's just being really pragmatic. I think
it's I think the conversation around suicideis so fucked up, especially going back
to like the adoption thing. Ithink it's like we I had no choices,
Well I have choices, but likeI'm a product of so many other
people's choices that it's like, yep, the fact that my choice was taken
(45:08):
and twisted and turned into something crazyis so like insane to me. So
like it made me like a fierceproponent of bodily autonomy in every way,
not the ways that make people comfortable, but like in every single way someone
wants to do drugs, go forit. If someone wants, as long
as it's not impacting someone else andharming someone else, do it. Like,
(45:30):
I don't really see the issue inanyone doing whatever they need to do
to make it through this fucked upworld or not. So yeah, I
think just being pragmatic about it andbeing honest about it but honestly makes people
uncomfortable. But I'm okay with thatis going to crack, That's what I
(45:51):
think. Okay, Well, Scotty. I always ask every guest one question,
and one of the questions that Iwould beestion that I ask is what's
one piece of advice that you wouldgive to a person or adoptee who's in
your or person who was even youknow, having ideation or idea, suicide
idations, suicidal ideation thoughts, whatone piece of advice you would give them
(46:16):
if you had If you can meetsomeone who has very similar lived experience as
you, what's one thing you wouldtell them. I would tell them to
look into the mirror and feel themselves. Stand in the mirror, naked and
(46:37):
taken inventory of yourself, not onlyas you are now, but your dreams
as you wanted them to be,and as they currently are, and as
you want your dreams to be inthe future, the dreams of your younger
child, the younger you like.I would tell them to just take stock
of themselves and be grounded in that. Because we seear grounded in yourself,
(47:01):
you can really be. You're unflappable. No one can really say anything to
you that will really have you shook. And I think that everyone needs to
feel that. I think everyone needsto feel confident with the their not necessarily
their body, but within their mind. And people shouldn't make anyone feel anything
(47:24):
less than them. So I wouldjust tell them to take stock of themselves,
look back, see where you wantto go, see where you are,
and make your own decisions. Beyou. I love that. I
love that. Well. Thank youfor being used Gotti and sharing the perience
on the Lords of the Day podcast. I really appreciate you coming on,
(47:46):
and like I say every week,all shine your light, Always shine your
light, because you never know howbright your light might guide someone when their
light is dim, and how youmight inspire them and guide them out of
a dark space for hell, guidehim into a dark space ship. And
then after this conversation, hey,you know, but no, I want
(48:08):
to take the chance to say thankyou Gotti and to the listeners, always
shine Light and THENTO next week I'llsee them. H
Content warning. The Wards of theState podcast may contain material that may be
harmful or traumatizing to some audiences.Listener discretion is advised. Heylight Shiners,
(00:38):
Welcome to another episode of Varge ofthe State. We can We're gonna keepushing
them out, y'all. We're gonnakee pushing them out. We're getting so
close to one hundred episodes. It'svery I'm so excited to get this many
episodes and I'm so excited to havethis many episodes and left experience so so
many different people. You know,We've had foster youth, adoptees, we've
(00:58):
had kinship, we've had guardianship experiences. It's just been great. It's been
great to get all of these experiences. Today, we have another guest the
name of We're going by Scotty,right, Scotty. That's me Scott.
That's me Scotty. That's one thingI forgot to ask. I was like,
what, because I usually talk toyou online. So I was like,
do you want to go for Scotty. We have a guest name by
(01:21):
the name of Scotty who's going togive their lift experience as an adoptee.
And I think the same race adoptee. I think that's kind of different about
you is that you are adopted byblack folks. So I'm definitely interested to
hear that perspective because usually I heara lot of transracial adoption lift experience,
but never a black adoptee who gotadopted in black black people to adopt y'all
(01:41):
sometimes, because I know y'all saythat we don't. But before we get
into Scotty's story, I just wantto remind you guys to leave a one,
two, three, four, fivestar rating and review for us on
Apple Podcast. Make sure you're subscribingto us on Spotify and sharing with your
family and friends. On iHeartRadio.You can listen to the episodes on your
Alexa. I always have to whisperit because I don't want to make any
(02:01):
of ours go off, but Ilove listening to the episode. Definitely you
can. Oh. You know onething I also found out too. If
you have Apple car Play, ifyou just like hit the button in your
car and says like that, askyou like, what do you want to
do? You can just say,hey, I want to listen to Word
of the State podcast, and itbrings it up so that was kind of
cool. I figured that out inmy car. But without further ado,
(02:22):
I do want to get to Scottistories. So welcome to this episode.
Welcome to the show. Scotti.Just kind of start off with your lived
experience. Thank you so much forhaving me, Carlos. Before you can
get started, I just want tothank you so much for your platform.
You've really opened up my eyes andI'm really grateful for you. So thank
you for having me here for thisconversation. My pleasure, my pleasure.
(02:44):
So let's go right into the nittygritty. Let's get into the nitty gritty.
Okay, So a little bit aboutme. So I'm thirty three years
old, currently a flight attendant travelingthe world, and I am adopted.
I was adopted at six weeks oldand my parents then divorced when I was
two, so there was a wholecontentious custidy battle that came from that.
(03:07):
So yeah, it's just been thisjourney drama in the family since I've been
born. Really it's been a lotof fun. So kind of started off
at the beginning of your life.You said you adopted at six weeks old,
so do you know anything about yourbirth parents? Do you know the
situation that started you to place youin that position to be adopted. Kind
(03:28):
of let us know what happened.Yeah, So I reconnected with my birth
family last May. It's currently February, so or March, I guess.
So it's been a year and wereally haven't had an open line of communication.
It was just like, hey,I'm here. Just wanted to let
(03:49):
y'all know that I'm alive. AndI found out about you guys. So
I was moving out of Denver andfound a letter that my sister actually wrote
me who had some like identifying informationon there. So I looked them up
on Facebook and reached out and especiallythem on the phone. We have one
of Facebook. I love it.That's how That's how I found my That's
(04:10):
how I found my birth family too, was on Facebook. Is amazing.
It's amazing sometimes great reason. That'sone resource I use what I'm looking for
people honestly, like people say canyou help me find these people? We
do those investigations that we'd be doingon Facebook too, and then people will
share, especially like ten twenty yearsago and facebooks. Wow, has it
been twenty shirts since Facebook spent Ithink so? Oh my god, don't
(04:33):
don't date us. I was like, oh my god, I'm voted.
Like people forget that. They postthings like and internets forever. So if
it's attached, and if we getyour name popping up, we can go.
We can go years all the wayback to like twenty twelve, were
going back. Yeah, so youfound your you found your birth family on
Facebook? How was that? Like? Did you just like send them a
(04:55):
message? Like how did that playout? Well? It was actually really
interesting becau has. The letter thatmy sister wrote was actually addressed to my
birth name. So I reached outand I was like, hey, I
think you know me as this.I just wanted to say hey and kind
of open up that line of communication. So yeah, it was really interesting
(05:18):
learning a little bit about them,because really all I wanted to do is
get like my medical history and likefigure out like what type of hereditary things
were going on there, so Icould you know, be more informed moving
on, should I decide to havekids or whatever else. So yeah,
it was nice, But then Ijust shut down my social media, so
(05:41):
like I went completely off the grid. And with that was you know,
their relationship too, So I haven'treally reached it out since I went off
the grid and like last summer soand have you have you had a chance
to meet them in person it orit's all been virtual. It's all been
virtual. I don't really have ahuge interest in meeting them in person,
(06:02):
not for anything bad. It's justI don't really care. It's not bad.
I don't horrible. That sounds horrible. I mean I should care,
but it's like I don't. There'snot a whole lot there that can It
can only inform where I've come from, not necessarily where I'm going, So
(06:24):
I don't necessarily want to continue lookingback that I'm so focused. Are you
familiar with the phrase sankofa, I'mnot so sankofa. I'm still learning too,
because I just learned about this.It's from I believe Ghana, the
Ghanian people in Africa, right,and it's this phrase of looking back at
(06:50):
your past. There's like a wholebird like it's if you look up the
san culpa bird that's connected to likeAfrican culture and specifically to my to my
people and God, and it meanslooking back so you can do better in
your future. Something along the line. I'm probably like quoting it wrong,
but sometimes what I've learned about myfamily is like I didn't want to look
(07:11):
back at the history, but likeyou just said, like it doesn't you
Learning about your history doesn't affect yourfuture because you're going to be on your
path regardless. But there's something aboutlooking back and seeing like it wasn't just
your parents, And I think that'swhat I connected to the most. It
wasn't just mom and dad. Itwas there are people who survived in my
family all the way, like Igot all the way to like eighteen or
sixteen, and these people were doctorsand teachers and really like astounding citizens,
(07:39):
right, And I think that thatis that's what I look for when I
say reconnecting with family. It's notnecessarily just reconnecting with close knit mom,
dad, sisters and siblings. It'sreconnecting to who you are. And I
think that that does make a changefor your future, right because remember who
you are? And didn't move usto say that, right, But we
can't remember who we are if wereally truly don't know who and by who
(08:03):
we are means our ancestors. Thereare millions of people, honestly on this
planet that had to survive to makewho we are today, and I think
there's just something to look back atthat and just say, you know,
I don't I don't want to reallyfuck with my birth family like that,
but there is some respect there that, you know, my ancestors survived to
make me to get to this point. So that's just my perspective. Or
(08:26):
you saying like, I don't haveto look back to go for and I
agree with that. You ain't gotto look back, but there's there's some
retrospective to look back at it,like wow, like my people survive for
me to be here. That doesn'tnecessarily have to be connected with your birth
family. It's part like the livingones that are here. And you know
what, as you're saying that,it makes total sense. But I think
that is one of the benefits ofbeing adopted by a black family is I'm
(08:48):
hyper connected to like their history,and I don't really feel because you know,
we're all in the diasporas, soI don't really feel that far removed
from it, consider like it waswhat three or four generations away from,
you know, child slavery. Soit's like none of us really have a
defined origin of where we're all frombecause you know how they did us,
(09:13):
So it's all kind of mixed andmelted together before the sixteen hundreds anyway,
So it's like, this is true. It's kind of cool to like,
it's kind of cool to have anidentity with my adopted family and have like
my firm identity there and have thatinformed me because they're really really strong people
(09:37):
and they work very hard, andI have a lot of respect for them.
I don't that's currently speak to them, but I do have a lot
of respect for it. Hey,listen, like I said, trauma and
communications like away, it comes andgoes and whatever is best and healthy at
for the child. That's why wesay child sin you know you're grown,
man, you were still the childin your adoption, right, so we're
(09:58):
going to say child since So speakingof your adoption, so you got adopted
at six weeks old. You justsaid like you really loved and respected your
parents. From my previous conversations withyou on TikTok, it sounds like,
you know, they gave you apretty good life growing up. You know,
there wasn't like perfect, no family'sperfect, but we're really considering the
stories we'd be hearing, it waspretty damn good, right, to kind
(10:24):
of talk about growing up. Howwas your experience growing up? Like did
you know you were adopted? Didthey make a big deal about it,
did you have any other siblings?How was your experience growing up? So
yeah, they were always really openwith me about my adoption. I remember
just like learning on from a veryyoung age because my mom is very light
skinned, so and I'm pretty chocolateso like it was that conversation, well,
(10:46):
I would give you, I wouldgive you a good caramel on a
good days, you know, letme get then. But yeah, she's
very light, like she's super superlight, So that is what's opened the
conversation. And yeah, they toldme like, hey, we essentially picked
(11:13):
you out, and you know,I was a kid, So it's like
they had to use words that werelike kind of dumb down for lack of
a better term, and they reallyexplained it to me in a way that
like I identified with it, likethe whole chosen thing. Like I know
that might be like a bad motifto go with, but like I believe
(11:33):
I've chosen by everything in life.You know, I live with abundance,
so like everything chooses me, Ichoose it back. So that's kind of
how I navigated life because of kindof those dumbed down conversations. I kind
of look at things like, Okay, do you choose me? Do you
not? If not, Okay,I choose myself always. So yeah,
(11:56):
it's it's kind of been that.And they opened up that conversation when I
was really young, and like Isaid, they divorced when I was two,
and then they both remarried and hadchildren right around when I was eight
and nine, so right around thesame time. So like I was an
only child from like then to eight, and then my younger siblings came along.
(12:18):
So and you say both both forboth of your mom and dad.
So they got remarried both and hadtheir had siblings from both of them.
Yeah, both of them had theirown biological children. Now I didn't ask
like why they chose to adopt me. I just kind of figured that there
was some type of infertility issues,but come to find out that that was
not the case. But yeah,I don't know why. And like I
(12:43):
said, I'm not talking to eitherof them. A lot of religious trauma
and like maybe we'll get into thatlater, but yeah, I don't know
how they how they religious and divorceand which religion, so they divorced and
my mom. You know how theJehovah's Witnesses sweep up on trauma Jesus,
Yeah, they got they got goodnot good yo ho of Witnesses. Yes,
(13:11):
I was knocking on put the storesat the youth girl. It was
not it was not my God,like you were like you were step in
it deep deep deep deep deep,Yeah, it was it was really really.
Was your dad also Jehovah witness growingup or No? No, he
was just heavily involved in like theBlack Methodist church. So like there's that
too, that whole like that hasits own issues, right, And I've
(13:35):
always been kind of queer, likealways been like a super queer leaning child,
so it's like there was no hidingthat. And in the black community
there's still a whole lot of issueswith homophobia running rampant, especially in the
church, and it was no differentin my household. So I'm so sorry
(13:56):
to hear that. I'm so sorryto hit there. So your mom was
there it I hit my mic becauseI get shaky when I heard about the
Jehovah witnesses. Uh So your mom'sa Jehovah Witness and you grew up you
kind of highlight a little bit ofa religious trauma. And I've talked to
other guests who were Jehovah Witnesses orSeven day Adventists, you know, all
(14:18):
of those those types of religion,not those types of religious at the time.
How did how did that? Yeah? Literally, how did that affect
you? Because you said, growingup in your adoption, you kind of
just like went with the flow,like you knew your parents chose you.
How did it feel to not havethe church choose you? You know,
because your parents had like kind ofingrained in you. Do you know,
(14:41):
choose you and choose things that chooseyou. But how can you be knocking
on doors saying like the Lord wantsyou when, according to the church,
the Lord even won't you. Exactly? Yeah, it made me extremely critical.
It made me start looking into thingsa lot more and being more not
only introspective, but deciding to gobeneath the surface of what was being presented
(15:01):
to me. And I studied it. I really studied the text, not
only of the Jehovah's Witnesses, butof other religions to see like what's going
(15:24):
on here? Like why is thisall? Knowing deity that it's just like
living this extremely voyeuristic lifestyle, watchingall of its creations. Why is it
picking and choosing who it likes andwho it doesn't like? Well, how
did it choose to pick? Likewhy did it pick that black people were
going to be enslaved for four hundredyears and do nothing about it? Like
(15:46):
why is this? Why is thisso just maybe hypercritical of organized religion,
especially organized religions that we can pinpointa specific date in America too, like
the Seven Day whatever, the Mormonsand the Jervas Witnesses. You can literally
look at the date where a whiteman decided this is a new religion.
(16:08):
And that's like I had questions.I'm going to start asking more questions.
I'm gonna start reading more into it, because what the fuck is that I
had that same journey because you know, I grew up Baptist and then super
Catholic. My adoptive parents are supersuper Catholic. And after it was like
right around college, I started toreally unpack because it just didn't make sense,
(16:29):
like like everything that you just described. And then I just started doing
more research, like you said,in other religions, and I found beauty
and religions like I found beauty andHinduism. I think there's so much beauty.
There is so much beauty, andfor the monks who practice Buddhism,
right, not for me. ButI just see that I can see the
beauty. I can see the beautyin it, right. I can even
(16:51):
see the beauty in some of thelike some Catholicism, right, there is
some some traditions that are I canjust see it, Judaism, all the
same things. But when it comesto the church itself as an establishment rather
we're talking about uh Joel the Witnessof Catholic Baptist it's organized church that really
bothers me. That really confused mebecause, like you said, it's like
they were eating they were running theircakes and eating it too. I call
(17:15):
it like cafeteria Catholics. That's whyI used to call him like you can't
you can't be like, oh thisis good and this is not good.
And then it didn't make sense becauseto me, I was like, if
God loves everybody, this nigga evil, like like he really evil. And
if you start looking at the touch, it's like he's killing babies, He's
he's out here destroying turning people tostone. This dude is a narcissistic sociopath
(17:41):
and if God went up against aCPS case, he would lose. He's
not sure. He's a catholicing sociolike liter not relentlessly children not horrible.
That is awful, horrible. Thathow you just explained that, like that
was your process. So I feelbecause I feel like religious trauma is something
(18:04):
that is so not spoken on toomuch, right, and it's definitely part
of your your adoption because you knowthey got adopted into that. Speaking of
your adoption, we we talked aboutadoption to slavery. That's one thing that
I think that we talk about alot. So you spoke about slavery,
the four hundred years, chattel slavery. What do you feel about the sentiment
(18:26):
adoption of slavery? Because I rememberwhen you first came on my page,
you were like, you're insane,bro. I feel like you're very sweet
about it, but it was prettymuch like you're insane, and over like
the weeks and months, you slowlylike ask a lot of questions and you
know, got a better idea.So what do you what do you feel
about that? And kind of tellthe listeners, because we've had this discussion
on life where you've you've, likeyou tell about how your adoption was great
(18:49):
overall, right, but you canalso start to see slowly what I'm talking
about when it comes to the legalities. Give give us a little insight on
that. Well, I think adoptionis slave and I don't think there's any
other way of putting it, becauseit requires a lot of mental, emotional,
and physical labor from the adopted child. That is something that's not ensured
(19:14):
the parents. They do a lotof work to In a perfect world,
the adopted parents will do a lotof work to ensure that this child has
everything that they need to succeed.Parenting is work, so these people,
adopted parents, have chosen this work. However, the adopted child was not
able to sign into that agreement,with most adopted children not able to sign
(19:36):
into that agreement consensually, So itbecomes this slavery element where you're literally doing
unpaid emotional labor towards these people,not only towards them and their family and
how will you navigate that, butalso towards yourself and how you navigate the
world as an adopted person. So, as I mentioned, like there's been
(19:57):
a lot of mental health issue currentlyongoing still today, and it's a lot
of unpacking and so much time andmoney and resources are spent towards figuring out,
like in quotes, what is wrongwith me? Even though I think
I'm fabulous. It's just like there'sa lot of things that aren't aligning,
(20:18):
and it's like, what is goingon with that? And how do you
think that? Do you think thatthese mental issues are directly attached to your
adoption or do you think they're justjust you know, everybody has issues.
I think everybody has issues. Ithink I don't think it would be fair
to attribute them all to my adoption, but I think it my parents' parenting
(20:41):
style definitely had a lot to dowith the way that I'm navigating life now.
So it's like, yeah, yeah, it wasn't it. It was
good because I didn't get like beator it's actually if you know, we
see we talked about that. Wetalked about that on the Live. You
(21:02):
do this thing. You do thisthing where and I think a lot of
adoptees do it where you minimalize yourtrauma because you give like but it's like
kind of playing like reverse trauma Olympics. You're like, well, I listen,
I wasn't geting raped, but it'slike okay, but you were like
literally being raped mentally by the byreligion, like right, so it's like,
(21:26):
what's worse. I don't know.Well that look like I said,
it's like reverse trauma Olympics because wecan't we can't compare trauma and we don't
want to minimize our trauma just becausewe know that somebody else had it a
different type of trauma. Right,let's talk about that. Is what are
some current trauma responses from growing upthat you're you're currently dealing with. My
(21:48):
career is definitely one of them.I am very up and down, constantly
on the go, mainly because likeI said, I don't like to look
back, so focused on the herenow and like how that affects my future.
So like in my career, it'slike I could be wherever, but
like the main focus is figuring outwhere I'm at right now in this moment,
(22:11):
because I barely know what day is, I barely know what stayed I'm
in. I don't even know whattimes that I'm in, So it's like
being focused on me and having ahome within me is like definitely, I
think a trauma response, but likenot to minimalize it, but I think
that's a queer trauma response and notnecessarily an adoptive trauma response. So like
(22:33):
most of my friends are queer,so I don't mean to minimalize the struggles
of being queer, but it's like, okay, like you got called the
F word a few times, Likeall right, Like that's not to say
it's minimalized, but it's just likeit informed how we as queer adults kind
of navigate the world around us,and in many ways, I think it
made me a stronger and better person. So yeah, I hate that it.
(23:00):
I know I am very minimizing,like a lot of things that have
gone on in my past, butI think it's mainly because like I'm gay
as fuck and like everyone I knowaround most of the people I know around
me are gay as fuck, andwe have a very similar journey, especially
if we were involved in the church. So I have I hold a lot
of that to the black queerness andmy community with that. So so circling
(23:27):
back on on the trauma response,so you said your career is could potentially
be because you know, it's go, go go. You're a flight attendant,
You're always going. I love thatyou said that too, because a
lot of flight attends I have alot of flight attendant to our friend.
By the way, hook your boyup with a friend and family pass,
and I'd be traveling too much.Wow, I probably. I promise I'll
(23:48):
behave and I know how to.I know we got to behave when we
get new friend and family paths.Okay, But I think that's something that
was something that was very like thatyou highlighted that in yourself, because I
have friends who are flight attendancy.They don't have a home, Like they
have a home, but like theyreally don't like have a home because they're
just traveling all the time. Likethey might have an apartment, but they're
(24:11):
never there. They never really haveto like lay roots anywhere. And do
you think so my question is,do you think part of the reason why
you chose that career is because youdon't want to have the time to just
like slow down and maybe look atand address some things that that might be
internal. So if you just keepgo, go, go, go,
(24:32):
go go, like you said,you don't have to look in the past.
Yeah, I think A lot ofit has to do with that,
because, like there are so manyother career choices for me, considering like
my education and whatever, Like Idon't need to be doing this like essentially
entry level job, but it's fun. I feel like my world is opened
(24:53):
up, and like you were saying, like you're as a flight attendant,
your home is kind of unstable atbest. Your physical home is kind of
unstable at best because you're rarely there. We're in hotels for ninety percent of
the year. But it requires meto have, like I said, a
(25:15):
home within myself and be like groundedand centered within me. But that doesn't
mean I'm not constantly exploring and learningand opening myself up and willing to challenge
myself and speak to people that disagreewith me. I have a limit with
that, like I'm not engaging withcertain political parties, but like I absolutely
(25:37):
have a home within myself when I'mconstantly challenging the world around me and my
worldview. So yeah, but Ido think that is a trauma response.
I because a lot of us,as fin etenans, are so not grounded
and just kind of floating where thewind takes us, and that can be
a good thing, but it canalso be really dangerous if you're just untethered
(26:00):
to anything. Yeah, I feelthat same way. You know, I
move a lot. I move aboutevery five to six years. I moved
states. Well, I'll just likeaudios and then me and my husband wrote
down we wrote down like six citiesand we roll a die and wherever this
diver lands on, that's where we'removing. And I think part of that,
yeah, we did. It's actuallykind of like our tradition. Now,
(26:21):
that's how we've ended up the lastthree places. And I have the
itch. I've only been in Arizonafor like two years, and I'm like,
maybe we gotta go somewhere else.You know, Arizona listen, not
as much as in Washington, notas I only have that one lady who
knock over my cart. Washington Statewas ridiculous. Seattle was like the most
racist, homophobic. Actually no,they weren't homophobic, they were just racist.
(26:45):
That was my issue talking about,you know, being surrounded by queer
folks. Also as a gay person, I thought that it'll be safer around
queer folks because you know, Ido understand when I re entered the black
community, there's a lot of issueswith homophoneia, and it can be very
dangerous and just very daunting to seeyour own people just hate you so much
just because of who you are,right, And it wasn't until I went
(27:08):
to Seattle and I was like,oh, hell no, I got to
deal with the homophobia from the homeof the gay community because they're also homophobic
people who work gay people. Andthen on top of that racism, and
then it was the Trauma Olympics.I had so many white quere men being
like, I'm just like you.I'm a marginalized I'm a marginalized identity tale
bab No, you're not like,okay, you're gay, great, like
(27:30):
honest, Like, it really missesme off because I'm like, you can
hide you're gay, like you cando a lot of people do it all
the time. I can never hidemy skin tone, I could never hide
my hair, I could never hideanything that looks like me because that's just
me, right, That's just whatit feels like to be a black person
(27:51):
in this country. So, yeah, we dealt with so much racism in
Seattle. But I don't know,I think that untethered life like you were
described, I like it. I'mnot lie, I do like it.
I don't think I would like itlike yours, because that seems that's a
lot. I also am lazy.I like to take a nap once a
day. I'm not lazy. I'mjust very structured and scheduled. I couldn't
(28:12):
do that like sleeping in the hotelrooms, or I'll be worried about bad
bugs and then I'll be having anxiety. I mean, I go home and
check my No, we're not doingthat. No, Oh my goodness.
Well, we're gonna take a quickbreak, Scotty. When we come back,
we're gonna talk more about body autonomy, what does that means to you
(28:33):
and what you believe? Uh,and what are your ideals on ethical suicide.
So we'll take a quick break andwe'll be right back. Hey,
Hey, Hey, this is Amandacul chair of the Black Mother's March,
and the Black Mother's March on theWhite House is a direct action led by
a coalition of black led organizations thatare involved in the struggle to rescue our
(28:57):
children from the custody of the state. We exist to expose the systematic attack
on black women and the black familyby the US government. We understand that
the government has been able to perpetratethis terror under the guise of protecting children
and families, but the facts areclear. The majority of children taken by
this system is due to neglect,and neglect equals poverty. Family police and
(29:22):
agents are two times more likely toinvestigate black families than white families. Black
children make up fourteen percent of theUS population, but twenty three percent of
the population of use captured by thissystem. The Black Mother's March is rooted
in facts in history. March withus on May twelfth, twenty twenty four
to show that the people have thepower to abolish this system and dream of
(29:45):
a new way forward. Heylke Shiner'swelcome back to the show, Make Sure
you guys are leaving a five starone two three for five star rating and
reviews. Hey somehe left one starreview on the podcast, y'all. I
wanted to read that real quick.It's my podcast, and I'm gonna call
(30:07):
you out, I said, onetwo three four five star rating review.
But you know what I am gonnaI did say that y'all can leave any
any type that y'all won't just behonest, and I think that they were.
They were honest, So I'm goingto reach all this and then what
I want y'all to do is goback and then give y'all's opinion on the
show, because that can't be thelast. That can't be the last comment
(30:27):
that I got. Y'all is notlooking cute, it's not looking good.
It's not a good look. Okay, So we do have a four point
eight star, y'all, So Ido appreciate that. Oh, actually,
we're so sweet. Some people startedleaving better, better stuff. Okay,
let me see where was it at? Where was it? Where was it?
(30:47):
Where was it? Okay? Sookay, so this person gave me
three stars, which I think washonest, and it says I give this
three stars because I love hearing people'slived experience. But those things to work
on. His interrupting of guests.He also doesn't seem to listen to the
guests when they speak. He willgrossly misinterpret things or ask a question that
(31:12):
literally was just answered while taking talkinga minute before. It's like, were
you listening, dude? He alsopronounces advice wrong and the content for so
I got a three star review goodand bad? Oh? Why? He
(31:40):
had like how you gonna read me? In my my podcast review sections absolutely
read. But by the way,UH give him five star because he absolutely
listens in this conversation from a guest. So I do I do? I
(32:01):
like literally I do. I knowsometimes when it edit it doesn't sound like
that, But I do also haveto like make sure I get the story
right. That's why we ask questionsbecause sometimes I don't understand. But make
sure y'all leave it one two threefor five star rating review. Uh to
kind of combat that bad three star. But without further ado, we're going
to get back to the episode.Oh my goodness, All right, Scotty.
(32:25):
So we're going over a lot todayin your story, and one thing
that you wanted to discuss in aconversation was body autonomy. What does that
look like? And then also somethingcalled ethical suicide. Is that like a
assistant suicide? Is that what thatis? Because I've never heard of ethical
suicide. I've only heard of likeassisted suicide, where you know, you
(32:45):
kind of help help help meet thefollowing early roight. Yes, So currently
in the States and in Canada andtaking places in Switzerland, that is what
ethical suicide is. It's called assistedsuicide. But here in the States you
have to have like some severe medicalimpending death moment to get considered for that
(33:07):
in Canada as well, whereas inSwitzerland you can just decide to do it.
But I think that ethical suicide issuicide with informed minds. So,
as I've mentioned, I'm not speakingto my family but currently, and that's
because they had me set to apsych ward last year. Yeah, like
(33:37):
Baker ex style, Yeah, fiftyone fifty who So yeah, that was
a whole lot of fun. ButI was ready to go, And I
like, I don't think there's awhole lot of I've been told I operate
with study nihilism, but like Idon't really see the benefit and a whole
(33:59):
lot of things that are going oncurrently, and I don't see like a
whole lot of reason to keep pushing. I'm still here obviously, so I'm
pushing and do my best to likebe everything, but like it seems so
dumb. Everything is so stupid,and it's like I want to dumb myself
down for this world around me.And I think that bodily autonomy is someone
(34:22):
making an informed decision, not necessarilyout of mental illness, but like out
of my options are so few andno matter how you slice it or dice
it. You know, they're criminalizinghomelessness, they're criminalizing not having a job,
They're criminalizing literally everything. They're makingit unattainable to have a home.
So it's like there's no way toreally succeed. And I think that it's
(34:49):
not fair, especially of Black people, to force them to be on this
hampsterrell of bullshit constantly. Black Americans, rather to be on this hamp sereal
of bullshit constantly, over and overand over again proving that they are excellent
in perpetuity forever, always, yetso big saying shit, and I think
that's psychically horrible and torture. AndI think that at some point people need
(35:14):
to recognize that you can't say theoptions are viaden or Trump, because we
have other options as well, andI think that that should be one of
them. But I don't want tobe like a pro suicide because I think
that's definitely bringing in the eugenics conversationand not with that. But like,
I do feel like there are otheravenues that people need to recognize are within
(35:38):
our body of the autonomy, andI think that suicide is one of them.
I think that's interesting take. Inever you know, I'm off for
baday autonomy, And I've never lookedat it that way. I guess I've
always supported assistant suicide for older peopleor if you have like a terminal illness
(36:00):
or just you're just not going toget better. But the way you just
described it, societal is a sickness. Like society is a fucking sickness,
and it's only getting worse. Andevery day there's a new war or new
people that we're trying to protect,and we have Congo and Palestine and the
water we have, flint we havelike it's just so much. So I
(36:20):
can definitely understand that. So thatkind of gave me a different perspective because
I've always, like I said,I've always supported as sister suicide for older
people or if they're terminal, butI've never looked at it as people just
being like I'm ready to go.I myself had some self attempts and through
my life, starting off when Iwas a young kid. I think my
first attempt was when I was eight, And I kind of understand sometimes like
(36:45):
what you say, like it fuckinglike, what what's the fucking reason to
keep going? Like why do wekeep pushing and I think the only thing
that honestly, and I tell myhusband this all the fucking time. I
always tell him, I say,you got to go first, bruh,
or I gotta go first. Igotta go first, because he's the only
thing that like keeps me pushing.I love my dogs, but I do
(37:06):
understand that, like they're going todie eventually, they're getting older, coming
in terms to that. But I'vealready made the decision, like, babe,
if I don't want to live thislife. I went through so much
trauma that I'm now in a veryhappy position in my life, and I
wanted to stay just like this forever. And I know that where humans and
(37:27):
life is going to happen. Butyeah, like if he goes, bitch,
I'm gonna be right. I'm gonnabe rapistie. I'm going over to
Switzerland, take vacation, ain't comingback coming back. I don't think that
it's anyone's place to say like no, no, no, because like,
if that is what's holding you here, I think it's really dismissive to say,
like no, no, no,you should keep doing this, you
(37:50):
should keep working for the benefit ofothers. But like I said, I
want to be very clear, Ithink it's with informed an informed adult should
be able to make that decision.I think that like kids, like when
you're in your teens, like it'sgonna be hard, but you do have
to kind of push through that tosee that there is a world outside of
high school. But after that worldoutside of high school hits, it's like,
(38:15):
what's next? Does it grow?Does it get any better? And
currently I don't really have a partner. I don't have We were talking about
a home, but like I don't. I'm currently like in this nebulous space.
My lease was up, and nowit's like I got to find a
new place in this new city thatI'm in. So it's like it there's
not a whole lot that I'm likesuper excited for. And when I was
(38:44):
ready to do it, it's likeI did my things. I've brought a
lot of joy to people, likeI've done my service, Like I feel
like I've served in the way thatI was meant to and now I feel
like I'm just wasting time. I'mgonna have a good time, but I
still feel like I'm wasting time.And it feels weird to have people be
(39:06):
like, oh no, no,no, don't do that. You make
me so happy, you make melaugh, you open up my eyes to
something different, and it's like,yeah, but that's a service that I'm
providing you again, adoption to slavery. I'm still providing the service to everyone,
always, constantly, And where atwhat point does the universe decide like,
(39:27):
hey, here's here's something for you, you know. So yeah,
the world is abundant, so I'msure it's out there, but I don't
have that tether like you have withyour husband yet. So it's like I'm
looking for it. I'm not gonnastop searching for it while I'm still here.
But like, I still feel likeif I would have been able to
be let go when I was,when I was ready, when I made
(39:50):
that decision, it would have beenthere would have been no love lost,
Like it would have just been likeI'm done, and like everyone moves on,
because as far as all my friendsand Famila are concerned, it did
happen, like I cut everyone offtotally so changed everything. So is that
is that going like no contact?Is that like your way of saying,
(40:15):
like society won't allow me to,you know, make this decision for myself.
So this is going no contact isthe only type of way that I
could, you know, make thatdecision for myself in a way, Yeah,
it feels like my alleged support systemwasn't necessarily trying to support me as
(40:35):
much as they were trying to maintainstatus quo. So it was like they
weren't actually listening to anything that Iwas saying. They weren't actually listening to
me, Like, it's financially notviable to exist post twenty twenty four as
a single person who is not interestedin moments, Like it's not viable to
exist in the city that I'm livingin on the income that I have at
(40:59):
all. Like it's it's completely way, way, way out of the realms
of reality. So it's like whenpeople are not acknowledging that and saying stuff
like, oh, well, youcould do this, you could use your
degree, you could do these otherthings, and I'm like that just means
that I'll be unhappy doing that.I need to have some type of autonomy
(41:22):
over like my life and my careerdoes bring me some type of joy when
it's going well. So it's liketelling me to do something in an office
all day long so I can makemore money is not not like a real
answer, and telling me to livesomewhere for seven hundred dollars is not a
real answer. So it's like,what answers are being provided to people,
(41:45):
what solutions, what resources are beingprovided to people that you know are feeling
like I am, And the answeris none. You've just kind of got
to truly pull yourself up by thebootstraps type shit. I don't believe in
that shit either. I don't wantto hustle like I don't like that's bootstraps.
Yeah, no, thank you.I don't wear boots like well,
(42:07):
actually, moment I might thrust themons, so right right, No,
I I definitely I I feel you. I feel you on that and I
think and I tell my husband allthe time, I'm like, I'm just
so thankful to find a person thatI can enjoy life with, you know,
and and live live for, youknow, not only for myself but
(42:29):
for but I can see how thatcan be really isolating if no one is
there, because I'm when I wasalone, it was very isolating. But
then to have your support system,like you said, just like not even
listen, not even understand, andyeah, and to society becomes not capitalistic.
(42:50):
We're just it's only going to getworse, Like it's only going to
get worse. We are looking atfamines, we're looking at global warming,
We're looking at the halves and thehalves not And yeah, I think I
agree. I think that if you'rean adult and you know, if you
have autonomy and you have made thatinformed decision, I think that that should
be that should be possible. SoI think I really want to appreciate.
(43:12):
I appreciate you getting vulnerable and sharingthat piece of yourself with me. Scotti.
Is there anything that you wanted tocover that we haven't covered? No,
but I do after saying that,I do just want to clarify that
I'm currently not suicidal or having anysuicidal ideation. So y'all can keep the
folks from my door. Okay,So they're gonna be like, please do
(43:39):
not. I do just want toclarify that before we how do you and
how do you talk about that?Like how do you be? Like I'm
good now, but like if itwas like if it was legal, like
let's sign our bitche like well,the way that I talk about it now,
and you know, therapists and psychologistswould be very upset to hear me
(44:00):
saying it. But I'm not activelysuicidal. But like if a Donnie Darko
moment happened, where like a jetturbine just like fell from the sky and
killed me and only me, thatwould be amazing, Like I would love
that to just like go out quicklyand like have that be that. But
I'm not going to run in frontof like a train or like do anything
like I obviously couldn't the methods thatare available. There are some methods that
(44:24):
are no longer available to me becauseof the fifty one to fifty whole,
and you know, the method thatI tried before just clearly didn't work out.
So I'm not actively going to tryit again. But I do think
that like I'm kind of passively suicidalstill, whereas like I'm just kind of
open to the fact that like anythingcould happen. But like I don't think
(44:45):
that that's really suicidal. I thinkthat's just being really pragmatic. I think
it's I think the conversation around suicideis so fucked up, especially going back
to like the adoption thing. Ithink it's like we I had no choices,
Well I have choices, but likeI'm a product of so many other
people's choices that it's like, yep, the fact that my choice was taken
(45:08):
and twisted and turned into something crazyis so like insane to me. So
like it made me like a fierceproponent of bodily autonomy in every way,
not the ways that make people comfortable, but like in every single way someone
wants to do drugs, go forit. If someone wants, as long
as it's not impacting someone else andharming someone else, do it. Like,
(45:30):
I don't really see the issue inanyone doing whatever they need to do
to make it through this fucked upworld or not. So yeah, I
think just being pragmatic about it andbeing honest about it but honestly makes people
uncomfortable. But I'm okay with thatis going to crack, That's what I
(45:51):
think. Okay, Well, Scotty. I always ask every guest one question,
and one of the questions that Iwould beestion that I ask is what's
one piece of advice that you wouldgive to a person or adoptee who's in
your or person who was even youknow, having ideation or idea, suicide
idations, suicidal ideation thoughts, whatone piece of advice you would give them
(46:16):
if you had If you can meetsomeone who has very similar lived experience as
you, what's one thing you wouldtell them. I would tell them to
look into the mirror and feel themselves. Stand in the mirror, naked and
(46:37):
taken inventory of yourself, not onlyas you are now, but your dreams
as you wanted them to be,and as they currently are, and as
you want your dreams to be inthe future, the dreams of your younger
child, the younger you like.I would tell them to just take stock
of themselves and be grounded in that. Because we seear grounded in yourself,
(47:01):
you can really be. You're unflappable. No one can really say anything to
you that will really have you shook. And I think that everyone needs to
feel that. I think everyone needsto feel confident with the their not necessarily
their body, but within their mind. And people shouldn't make anyone feel anything
(47:24):
less than them. So I wouldjust tell them to take stock of themselves,
look back, see where you wantto go, see where you are,
and make your own decisions. Beyou. I love that. I
love that. Well. Thank youfor being used Gotti and sharing the perience
on the Lords of the Day podcast. I really appreciate you coming on,
(47:46):
and like I say every week,all shine your light, Always shine your
light, because you never know howbright your light might guide someone when their
light is dim, and how youmight inspire them and guide them out of
a dark space for hell, guidehim into a dark space ship. And
then after this conversation, hey,you know, but no, I want
(48:08):
to take the chance to say thankyou Gotti and to the listeners, always
shine Light and THENTO next week I'llsee them. H
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