#46 - Chance Duncan

Today we are joined by Chance Duncan who has been on the podcast before, but now he's back on his own. We dive into the intriguing topics of life and how each one of us think. Chance is also going to be doing more WATT podcasts in the future so we hope you enjoy this first episode with Chance joining the podcast.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello, and welcome to the We Are the Day Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am your host, Jimmy Rex, the founder and CEO
of We Are the They, and this podcast has been
specifically designed for you to get to know on a
deeper level the members of this community. What makes us
so special, why are these relationships so thick? And really
what is going on at these events? What are these
members experiencing, how do they grow? Why are they so
committed to this cause? And so, as you're listening to

(00:27):
this program, if you have interest, check us out on
whatmovement dot com.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
And with that, let's get to today's episode. All right,
welcome back to the We of the Day podcast. Today,
another returning guest for the second time. I don't know
how many times we have to attorney guests, but Chance
Duncan is back on the podcast from Leadership Group five. Chance,
how you doing.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
I'm great, living the journey.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, that's what we're here for. So we are doing
this podcast as a few different things that we'll kind
of talk about during the podcast. Let's start off, just
in case people haven't heard your story on the last potodcast,
Let's start off with the true watt fashion of how
you found out about the group, and then why you
ended up joining so lead us off there.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, I appreciate it. Pretty simple stuff. I was a
real estate agent back in Missouri. My team lead was
coached by Jimmy's coach, which was Bill Pipes at the time,
and I was brought to one of the events out
in Salt Lake where Jimmy was speaking. Jimmy spoke obviously
killed the stage, and so I followed him on Instagram

(01:29):
and made it one of my goals to be coached
by him. Eventually bumped shoulders with him at Limitless and
Group five happened to be opening the next week. Yeah,
so just no coincidences there exactly. It's pretty much how
it was.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, and then you just signed up and joint.

Speaker 3 (01:45):
Right signed up and joined.

Speaker 1 (01:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
I actually thought it was going to be like four
times what the cost was, and so when I heard
the cost, I was like.

Speaker 1 (01:51):
Let's go take advantage of that. Yeah, that is funny.
We always hear people with the cost thing. They just
have no clue what to expect, right. Some people way overestimate,
some people way underestimate, and so it's just kind of
like it's funny to hear the story and everyone's different perspective, right.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
Because at first I was like, how the heck am
I going to be able to like pull that off?
But I was like, gonna figure out a way, you know,
But yeah no, and then dude, the cost is nothing
for like what it is. Yeah, it's just something that's
so crazy, like compared to all the other Mastermind groups.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Like exactly, Yeah, you don't really get coaching like this
in this capacity for the cost that.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
We end up paying, not even close.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, especially when you consider like the community side of things, right, Like, yes,
you get your leadership group, you get all the fifty
guys in there, but then you get everyone else. Right,
Like you were talking about it before the podcast. You
hung out with a guy who's in Group six earlier today, right,
and so it's just kind of one of those things
where like you get the entire community, his kids in
the group. He's in group six.

Speaker 3 (02:48):
I didn't even know that.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
It's just one of those things, Yeah, just one of
those things that people don't realize, right, Like he has
a podcast, he does his podcast here, but he's also
in group six. Right, There's just so many people who
are connect to the group that you just don't even realize.

Speaker 3 (03:01):
I thought this background looked familiar.

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, exactly, that's it. That's that's just all my editing that.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Oh my goodness. But yeah, I mean, like, dude, just
being able to like wear this bracelet around and just
people like know what that's about or like just what
work goes on inside of that, it's just amazing. And
then like talk about like the value. I think the
first and foremost is like you have to give so
much value to the calls, like just the curriculum that
goes into that, and like all the value that's there.

(03:33):
I mean, dude, that's probably worth like what we pay
for it at the end of the day. And then
on not only that, but you get the group, which
is like the fifty guys that you're intimate with. But
like you said, the outside of that, just being able
to like walk into Sunday's Best and like Michael McHenry
just like know who you are from the group or something.
You know. That's like that's a leisure that not everybody has.

(03:55):
And then on top of that, we go to these
like events once every three months. It's like, you know,
you just wouldn't go do that kind of fun stuff
just like on your own. So it's just crazy.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
It's so valuable that you see, like so many different
aspects of your life just stack up one on top
of each other with it all so it's like exactly
like you mentioned right, like you're at the airport, you
got to the New Sunday's Best in the airport. You're like,
this is a guy in my group, right, Like, this
is just a guy who I can reach out to
at any point. I have his phone number in an
app where anyone could reach out to this dude right

(04:26):
then and there. And because he knows we are a
part of what he'll answer, Like he was on the
podcast with Richard Larson. They did a podcast together on
the Watt Fee, So if you haven't listened, to go
listen to it. But mckenry's just one of those guys
where it's like, you know, he's genuine by the way
that he speaks about the group, because there's a couple
guys in our group that he forced more or less

(04:47):
to be in our group and said set hard boundaries
and said, hey, if you don't go to mo app,
if you don't be a part of this group, I
don't think we could be friends. Like that's the type
of level of commitment that some of these guys have,
and that's kind of the like saying it as a
legacy is kind of the weird thing where Groups one
and two have like graduated and like passed this down,

(05:08):
but they provided the example, right, Like I still have
guys from Group two come on the podcast. We just
had Benker come on, We just had Leo and Mark
McCormack come on the podcast, and so it's like it's
so cool to see them and their leadership pour into
so many of the other guys who are just going
through this progress.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
And did I think there's a huge takeaway sometimes in
my eyes, of like how guys interact with the group,
how seriously they take it, how like involved in it
they are, if it's more a transactional thing for them,
Like you can tell so much about a person by
how they like how they're taking that group and like
how serious it is for him, and like, I mean,

(05:51):
like you said what Michael McHenry said, it's just like
I don't know if we're gonna be friends. Like it's
it's not like a like any hatred towards those people,
but it's like, if you can't take this seriously in
your life, Like, how are you going to take like
our relationship seriously or our business partnership seriously or just
whatever that looks like.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
It's just I think it's so huge, especially when you
have so many people showing up for you, right, Yeah,
Like it's almost like a spit in the face type deal.
Like if you if you don't hang out with people
in your group, if you don't see people in the trive,
if you don't come to events, it's it is a
little bit of a little slap in the face, right. Yeah,
it's like isolating yourself from this incredible opportunity that you're

(06:29):
paying to be a part of. Yeah, why not take
full advantage of it?

Speaker 3 (06:32):
And then those guys end up coming to the to
the event or something, and like all they're talking about
is like transactional stuff or what you like, you just
see right through that shit, you know. It's just I mean,
it's it's not real. And I think that's one of
the biggest things that the group gives is a vision
to see what is real.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm curious your thoughts on this. So
let's preface this a little bit. I wanted to have
chance come on the podcast because Chance has reached out
to me and he wants to do a few of
these podcasts. So we're gonna let Chance kind of take
the reins on this, but I'm curious to hear your
side of things on why you feel like this was

(07:10):
kind of the right platform for you to interview some
of these guys and get some experience out of your belt.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
I think anybody that's in what first and foremost is
worth interviewing. Yeah, I think they're real, they're vulnerable, they're men,
and they're amazing dudes like all around. So I think
having that platform to be able to interview those guys
in general, and then just them being like interested in

(07:37):
being on it is just kind of a draw for me.
Now the reason behind me like wanting to do the podcast,
of course, like eventually I'd like to look into building
my personal brand. I want to get experience on podcasts
and being able to talk to people. So there's definitely
a bunch of value add like in my personal life

(08:00):
of course, But also I kind of just want to
sit these guys down and just be like who are you? Yeah,
you know, and I think it's unusual for them to
get sat down by like a twenty year old and
go through that. Sometimes. I had lunch with Takashi a

(08:20):
little while back. Do you know Takashi Okay, Yeah, And
he admitted this on like the next call or whatever.
He's like, yeah, dude, chance text me to go to lunch,
and I was just like, I don't know, like what
are we going to talk about anything? And like we
go to this lunch and like just so much value
add back and forth, like he was going through something
with his son, and I was like, I was like, dude,

(08:41):
I went through that same thing with my dad, like
you know, gets to talk about stuff like that or
just like literally whatever, and it was just like a
it was a great experience to be able to just
sit down and talk with him. And so I would
just want to get more guys like that. I mean
I had lunch with Brian Dickerson a while back, and
like that is do that just blew my mind the
whole lunch, And so yeah, I just I think these

(09:05):
guys have a lot of value, and I think there's
like little aspects of their life that I might be
able to like add in on here and there. But
you know, mostly, I mean I'm just trying to pick
these dudes' brain and figure out who they are. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
I love that, and it's it's a twofold thing. And
the first thing I'm gonna say so I can clip
it for Instagram. The reason why podcasting is so popular
nowadays is podcasts are the new lunch. Right, you don't
take someone to lunch, you have them come on your podcast.
There's still a bunch of people who obviously will take
people at lunch, so still going to do that process.

(09:39):
But nowadays, if you have a podcast, you can just
tell people, hey, come on my podcast, and be able
to ask them all the questions you would ask them
on a podcast platform, recorded that you can clip up,
that you can take, that you can do whatever you
want with that. You will have forever compared to a
conversation that you're going to have over lunch, and you
might not retain all of it, right.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Exactly what Gaye just said.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Yeah, yeah, it is going to be the new let's
take like let's go to lunch, The new let's go
to lunch will be hey, come on my podcast. Right.
The second thing is it's something that I try and
do very intentionally with this podcast, is I don't want
it to be something where hey, come sit down and
just tell me about yourself. There's a lot of podcasts

(10:22):
out there that's just like question you answer, I ask
you another question, you answer, and it's just rapid fire
about that person.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Right.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
The one thing that I focus on very heavily on
this podcast, and it comes from just years of experience,
is taking the questions, applying them in a different manner
and letting us learn about the person just from how
they answer, right, And I think that's so special. There
are so many podcasts out there that's just question, question, question, question,

(10:51):
and it's just rapid fire. The entire purpose of this
is to lead a conversation to allow us to get
insight from that person. I think that is just so
much more valuable than being like, hey, what's your story, dude?
You know, like asking them so intentional deep questions about
just like this broader aspect and letting them take the

(11:14):
conversation where it needs to go is so valuable well.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
And because I think not only does the person that's
coming on the podcast have like great insight, but the
person doing the podcast as well. And so like you
think about like some of the greats like Alex Ramosi
or Chris Williams saying, or like, you know, some of
those really big podcasts, one of the things that they
have in common is like they don't just like let
the other person take away with the show. It's like

(11:38):
because everybody on that show wants to hear their insight
as well, and so it's it's but what it comes
down to is it's a genuine conversation and it's not
just an interview in a sense. So like if you
want to be on an interview, you go to like
Fox News or something. What do you doing on a podcast?

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Yeah, go get interviewed by I don't even know, Yeah,
get interviewed by a TV station.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
The station.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, it's the podcast world is not what it used
to be. No, the podcast world used to just be
have people on, let them tell themselves about themselves, and
that almost be like they used to do this for
like book tours, for movies and stuff like that, and
they still do it to that extent. But the really
good podcasters they know to just have a conversation with it, right,

(12:21):
So that I think that's just the it's the more
valuable side of things, right.

Speaker 3 (12:25):
It's not a blog, it's not an infomercial. Yeah, just
like you said, But I think I find so much
more value in like being able to have a conversation
with somebody or just like listening to a conversation of
like what are both of these guys thoughts, you know,
instead of if it because if Chris Williamson's interviewing Alex romosy,
but Alex Romosi is the only one that talks how
much insight and wisdom does Chris Williamson have? You know,

(12:47):
Like what are you missing out on there to be able.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
To Yeah, exactly, well, and you talked about like, you know,
value adds and stuff like that. Right when you're just
having a conversation with someone, if everyone's just giving you
the information, that's not great. You got to be providing
something back, right. That's what makes a good podcaster a
good podcaster is you're able to provide that back to
that same person.

Speaker 3 (13:05):
Right.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
I think that's why people kind of underestimate that in
podcasting because they go, oh, well, the host is just
supposed to ask them questions and shut up and do nothing.
That's not the case. No, it's not the case at all.
And you'll learn that very quickly.

Speaker 3 (13:17):
Right.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Like, I also think there's something super powerful with it
when it's people that you know and people that you
care about, people that you love and will support you
no matter what. To where you just have that comfortability.
Is that something that you're looking forward to the most,
Like when it comes to, you know, interviewing some of
these guys from your group, I.

Speaker 3 (13:33):
Mean one hundred percent, it takes away a lot of
the stressor and anxiety of like getting some big name
on here. I've never met him before and all I
have is forty five minutes in the studio with him
or something like that, and that's I mean, eventually, I
wanted to be able to where it's just like it flows.
It's a comfortability thing, to where like something like that
doesn't even phaze me, you know. But I think having

(13:54):
these guys on that I already like know and love
and like they just have so much value to bring
to the table, and I can just I already know
a little bit about their story or whatever, it's just
gonna be like it's gonna it's gonna flow a lot easier.
And so that's what I'm most excited about, and just
being able to get those wraps in and uh, just
continue to grow in my abilities.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
That's what it's here for, right, Like it's it's just
having a conversation on camera, and so it's just teaching
you to learn that a little bit more.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
But I even like, yeah, I wish our lunch today
was recorded with Gauge, but yeah, one of the cool
things he had. One of my questions was like, what's
your favorite question to ask on a podcast? Which I'll
ask you that too, what's your favorite question to ask
on a podcast?

Speaker 1 (14:36):
I don't really have a favorite question really. Yeah. I
know I know the way that Gauge does things because
I edit all his podcasts, so I know I know
how he kind of operates. I don't really have like
a set list of questions like his three two one thing. Yeah,
I figured that was kind of gonna be what you.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Have to see.

Speaker 1 (14:53):
But yeah, I like the way that Gage does it.
He has a list of questions that he'll ask at
the end of the Beach podcast, right, just do like
a rapid fire just to try and like get people
more engaged in stuff like that. In my eyes, the
way that I would do that is actually like almost
spread that out throughout the podcast, just allow people to
go more in depth on stuff like that. Right, Because
to your point, that's a great question. It's not a

(15:15):
question where you just have someone answer it for two
seconds and then move on, right, Like, I think that's
something that you could dive a lot more deeper into.

Speaker 3 (15:22):
I think. But I think that's the best thing about
great questions is like they make people think. It's like, oh,
I don't even know, yeah, exactly What are your top
three books?

Speaker 1 (15:32):
My top three books Blink The Power of Thinking Without
Thinking by Malcolm Gladwell. The other one of my favorite
books is also Malcolm Gladwell. It's the tipping point just
great books too, great books. Michael Gladwell is my favorite
author ever read all that stuff. He's the best. Blink

(15:53):
changed my life really. Blink is such a powerful book
because it teaches your mind that you can just react
instantly and be able to respond correctly. Like basically, the concept,
the concept behind the book is blink is every decision
can be made within the blink of nine And so
when you train yourself to be able to take a second,

(16:16):
understand it, blink and respond, then you're able to just
be so much more intentful with life.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
I love that. So I think I think people get
caught up so much on not being able to decide
on things. Yeah, well, like you said, it's just like,
I mean, at the end of the day, you're going
to make this decision or this decision, and so it's
like I feel like people procrastinate so much on that
and so just being able to make that decision be
okay with whatever you made. Like, that's that's huge. I'll

(16:43):
have to look into that.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, that's that's my favorite book of all time.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Number three, I'd throw out a bunch of different books here.
I'll say the Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons. It's
just such a It's just it's so insightful about the
world of the NBA and he's been someone who's studied
that for a long time.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
You big sports guy.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yeah, I love sports. So that's my biggest thing. What
about you? Three books?

Speaker 3 (17:05):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (17:05):
Is it? Three books, two people and one quote? Yeah, yeah,
that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (17:09):
Okay, But uh my three books. The one that changed
my life was thinking Grow Rich. Yeah, it's like read
it like three years ago, but just opening that book
and like, I don't know, it just felt like a
different aura, just because it was like my first self
developmental book. I feel like it's usually that one or
riched out Poor Dad. Yeah. But yeah, so Thinking Girl

(17:30):
Rich was mine and it just changed my way of thinking. Honestly.
It's just I kind of came from a small town
and everything, and so like the thinking like that, it's
just a little different. And so opening that book and
just like being exposed to Jim Rowan for that short time,
it's just like whoa.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
And then after that, I would say The Greatest Salesman
in the World by Oji Mangiato, great one. Yeah. The
affirmations in the back of that book are just like
next level. Yeah, that's awesome. And I kind of so
like those literally just like change your life. I feel
like being able to like go over those and like

(18:08):
just the fine details in it. One of the in
the first scroll it says like that these grapes have
been like shriveled as much as they can be or
whatever to like produce the wine of the words that
are said. And basically what that's saying is like that
all of those words have been refined down so much
to be like perfectly exactly what they mean. Yeah, And

(18:29):
so I love that book. And then Green Lights and
Matthew McConaughey and Green Lights is actually what put me
on to the greatest salesman in the world because Matthew
McConaughey talks about it.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
But did you listen to Green Lights or did you
read I've read it? Okay, yeah, yeah, I got it too.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
I mean, like you can just listen to Matthew mcconaughe's voice,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
But green Lights is a great book, but like, have
you listened to it audio book too? Though I've only
listened to it.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Oh really yeah, well see what And a lot of
people say that, which is like which one do you choose?
You know what I mean? But the book itself has
so many illustrations. It's like there's sticky notes like that,
it's like on there, and there's pictures and everything, like
you actually want to be in the books. It's just
not just a page of words. And so Matthew McConaughey
does a very very good job of like keeping you

(19:15):
engaged and interested in the book. And then but yeah,
I mean, like listening to his voice read it would
probably be dope. But exactly, I think my two biggest
takeaways from that Whereas, first, like right after his dad dies.
He says something along the lines of less impressed, more involved,
less pressed we become in life, and the more involved

(19:36):
we become, that's when everything changes. And so that was
that was huge. And then another thing that I took
into account and then I did myself was his ten
life goals. It was a very small part of the book, yeah,
and I think a lot of people would like skip
over that, but it was so crazy to me, like
he had his ten life goals and there were all

(19:57):
one liners. It wasn't like this because of this and
this and this and this. It was just like when
a Grammy or Oscar or whatever, and it was just like,
you know, just keep living and like but that was
so all of those were just like it's just breaks
down like how simple we actually want life to be? Yeah,

(20:19):
And I mean that kind of ties into a podcast
that I listened to the other day with alex Or Mosy.
But he was just like someone asked him like what
the meaning of life was, and he was like, why
does there have to be a meaning to life? Yeah?
That was just so deep, like like we're we have
these impressions on things and it's from like past experiences

(20:43):
or because we've been trained and taught like this, but like,
what makes you say that that has to be that way?

Speaker 1 (20:48):
Yeah, exactly, it's crazy. Yeah, well, it's just like Green
Lights is such a great book for just seeing the
inside of someone's mind who is just very successful, right,
and so being able to like it's like if you
were to take Matthew McConaughey at a lunch, everything that
he would talk about at the lunch is probably in

(21:08):
that book. That's kind of the unique part about that
book is it's one of the few people who are
that successful, especially at what they do, and who have
just like put it out there for the world and
just said like, hey, here's what I do.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
Right.

Speaker 1 (21:21):
Being able to have that type of access is so cool.

Speaker 3 (21:23):
So didn't love that book. Wasn't it like that he
journaled like every day since it's like young, Yeah, very young.

Speaker 1 (21:30):
Yeah, he's very big journal It's crazy. Yeah, so are
you a big journal I've gotten better? Yeah she used
to not be. Right, Like before I joined this entire experience,
I almost never journaled.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
But I don't know what it is for me. It's
maybe it's just like I don't know what to write down,
or just like I don't know. I haven't seen a
ton of value in it, I guess. But my girlfriend's
a huge journal She's kept a journal for the past
like seven years or expressive. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (21:57):
Do you write stuff down when you read?

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Not usually?

Speaker 1 (22:01):
See? My thing is like because you know, I grew
up as the kid who only read for school, right, yeah,
And so it's like for me, I've trained myself to
take notes while reading. Okay, So, like a lot of
my books that I've had for years and years have
sticky notes on them, like those really tiny little sticky
notes where it's just like mark down something, say something

(22:23):
about it, and then just put it on the page.
That way I can always go back to it, right,
Like that's why I even going back to the three
two one thing with like the one quote. It's hard
for me to find that one quote and like have
it memorized because I have so many different things that
I look at through all pieces of media, and I
write that down. And so that's helped me translate that

(22:44):
to actually journaling properly, because like you know, seventy five
hard does the ten is it ten minutes or ten pages?
Ten pages? Right?

Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (22:52):
So ten pages every night, and I'm not doing somebody
five hard, but if I were, I mean, I do
the I do the ten pages every or I do
like thirty minutes, which comes out to give or take
ten pages or so. So I do thirty minutes of
reading every night, and then I spend five minutes journaling.
And what I try and do is not journal about

(23:13):
the book, but journal about my life with what I
just read, right, and take what I understand, take what
I just read. So the last book I read was
a Mastery of Love, really interesting book. I've been reading
a lot of like relationship dating books and trying to
understand that a little bit more right, And so I
read that. I was reading that one night and then

(23:33):
I went to my journaling and I started writing about
the book, and I caught myself and I was like, wait,
how can I relate this to my life? And then
I took it and I almost journaled for another like
thirty minutes because I was just like, so caught up
in that mental conversation with yourself. I think that's the
powerful part is like, are you a visual learner?

Speaker 3 (23:53):
I was gonna hit on that a little bit.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
I would say, so, yeah, do you when you read
books do the words almost like pop off the screen
and create like a story for you in your brain.

Speaker 3 (24:07):
Yeah, yeah, sure.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
So what really helped me was taking that to my advantage, right,
and being like, oh, here's the story that I'm reading
in front of me, but I would always disassociate that
like it would be its own completely different story. And
so now I basically try and take that story and
apply it to my life instead of just being it
like its own separate entity.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Right.

Speaker 1 (24:30):
That's where journaling has really helped me. So if you're
a visual learner, if you're someone who like reads books pictures, it,
sees it and then can like follow up on it. Yeah,
journaling is a big deal with that.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
My approach to books, I wasn't a big reader in
high school, like kind of the same way, just do
it because you have to. But then after high school,
I really just like I saw so much value in
it because it was like these people are like way
way smarter than me or done these crazy things and
they put it in two hundred pages, Like why wouldn't
I read that? And one thing that Gauge had on
two was like, like your proximity doesn't have to be

(25:03):
the people that you're actually interacting with Like if you're
interacting with a podcast with a book, is all these
other things, Like you're still spending time with that thing
over maybe listening to music or like watching a documentary
or whatever it is. But it's just like so being
and submerged in that is like so important to like

(25:24):
how your life goes and everything. But one of the
things I was gonna say this might be totally wrong.
I don't even know. When I'm reading a book, all
I'm looking for is like two or three things and
every and I think I think if I can take
like two or three things and like actionable things from

(25:44):
like every book or event or podcast that I listen to,
likes changed your life, like just like that, you know.
But because I'm only looking for those two or three things,
like I think like taking notes. Sometimes I've tried to
take notes and books, well, I feel like it doesn't
really benefit me a ton. When people are on stage,

(26:07):
I will take notes. I'm a big note ticker when
they're on stage. I never go back and look at them.
I don't know why, like that that could be a
god or bad thing, but I feel like when I
do take notes, I will find something that pops out
to me so much that the next day it's inactionable,
and so I'm not focused on going back and looking

(26:28):
at those notes. I'm focused on putting whatever I just
learned into action. And so like, I think I do
the same with books too, Like I'll highlight I highlight
on books and like underlining things, but actually taking notes
on it, like I just I don't know, never really done.

Speaker 1 (26:43):
I think this is almost like a trap with reading books.
And I forget who I was having this conversation with,
but they were very anti like self help books, right,
And I was like, I understand why, But it's because
people just read stuff and just regurgitate it and they
don't actually take actionable action, right, And so kind of

(27:05):
like what you said, like, I think there's a balance
there that needs to be had that not a lot
of people do. Some people will read a book, they'll
take like three quotes and they'll be like this changed
my life. But it's like, what do those quotes actually
mean to you? Like what does that look like in
your life? Like if you're saying I'm trying to think
of an easy quote off the top of my head,

(27:27):
if you're saying you take a quote like you miss
one hundred percent of the shots you don't take to heart,
Like what does that actually look like in your life?

Speaker 3 (27:33):
Right?

Speaker 1 (27:33):
If you're a single guy and you're not asking a
bunch of girls out, Like, what does that mean to you?

Speaker 3 (27:36):
For sure?

Speaker 1 (27:37):
So I think that there's this and we we had
this long conversation about it, how like self help books
are good if you're actually taking stuff from it. And
I feel like that's where my journaling has really come
into handy. I recently read the book No More Mister
Nice Guy, and that was a huge game changer for
me because I was very much living the nice guy

(27:59):
persona and being able to break out of that and
being able to take stuff from the book. I couldn't
tell you a single quote from that book, but I
can tell you the five actionable steps that I've taken
from that book. Right. So, I feel like it's this
trap that some people get in where it's like you
listen to people speak, you read a book, you take

(28:19):
these quotes, and you just say, hey, here's quote, right, yeah,
but you have to actually you have to actually take
action on those quotes and actually like figure out how
they work in their life. Do you see yourself doing
that with those like things that you're because if it's
it's it sounds like you're in a little bit of
that like mix of if you're looking for a couple

(28:40):
of things, but you're also taking action into it.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Yeah. What else is all of those books are right, Yeah,
they all have good stuff in them, they're all pretty
much saying the same damn thing. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
And so it's like, which was another one of his
concerns with the self help books, and it's like.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
Like you said, you can you can read them all
you want, Like you can read five hundred books. You
read five books, and like, depending on what you do
from those five or five hundred could be the same
damn thing, you know. But it's just that sometimes those
books say in a different way and it under you
resonate with it more. Yeah, And so like that's why

(29:22):
I think you continue to read. Otherwise I would have
just stuck with Thinking Grow Rich because like, to me,
like that's probably been the best book I've read so far.
And so it's just like like that book literally has
a guide to life of like how you should do everything,
like what fears you should stick away from, how you
should be thinking, like all these things, and so it's
like you could just stick with that or you could

(29:46):
go get another perspective. Yeah, and so it's but you have,
like you said, you have to be keeping the action
to it too, otherwise they just don't work. And so
that's been a big thing for me. And I was
religiously reading like every night. You know, I've done seventy
five hards twice, and so I definitely like I can

(30:09):
be in the habit when I want to be of that,
but instead I started speaking of the Bible yeah a
lot actually instead, and that has been pretty transformational. Yeah,
I would say more than like any other book I've read,
of course, just because not only has it like it's

(30:30):
given me like direction in a sense, like it's given
me like a tool belt to be able to like
just quote a verse here or there or just like
and then at the end of the day like as
God's word too, it's it's not Jim Rohn's word, like
it's God's so, and but having that and then also
it's like been giving me like a peace of mind.
I was struggling there for a little bit of like

(30:51):
just being tired all the time. And I really think
it's because like my cardosol levels were like super high,
but I would because I would just want to sleep
all the time. But I think it was just because
it was so stressed out from all the stuff I
had going on. But just like starting my morning with
that has been like just a game changer. Like I'm
so energetic, like I want to go, I want to
get after it. I don't know if you've seen my

(31:12):
stories anytimes, but like I'll catch myself in the gym
at like four in the morning, you know, just like
because I want to Like I'm just like, let's go,
let's go. But it's just like it's been good. Yeah,
it's been really good. It's been transformational, to say the least.

Speaker 1 (31:26):
The Bible is so fascinating, just scriptures in general. I
said this in church one time. I was teaching a
class and I said this one time. I was like
reading the Bibles like listening to a good podcast. People
hated that, and I was like, hear me out here, Okay,
here's what the Bible does so well, right that Jesus

(31:46):
tells these stories in these proverbs in these ways that
it's up to us to interpret them. It's up to
us to understand them a good podcast without that exact
same thing where it's like you hear the stories, you
hear what this person has dealt with in their life,
and you're taking away what you want to take away
out of it. Right, It's just like any good story.
So that's why people were kind of like, that's dumb,

(32:08):
but it's like, sure, it's any good story, right, but
just want to I think one of.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
The biggest things is how much power do you put
to those words? Yeah, it's like, oh my gosh, of
God's words. You could do that same thing with Jim
Rohan's words, and so it's just like like how much
power are you putting to those words? And like are
you applying it? It's like if it's just because God
said it, then like is that why you're applying it?
Or is it because like it's actually good advice, you know?

Speaker 1 (32:30):
Or it's it's almost the like people take it as
the inverse two where it's like people who don't believe
in God, it's like they'll listen to There's there's plenty
of people in this growth mindset space who will listen
to Tony Robbins, probably more than they would listen to
the advice of Jesus Christ and God and everyone else

(32:51):
who comes from these scriptures, right, And so it's kind
of this flip back and forth where it's like, all right,
it kind of goes back to my original point where
it's like you can take information from any source, but
it's about what you actually do with it, right, So
taking actionable action is the most important part with all this.
And in my personal opinion, and I'm sure it's yours,

(33:13):
there's few people who's better advice to take than our
Lord and sabers.

Speaker 3 (33:17):
Yeah, right, absolutely, but I mean yeah, and then I
think even like like if somebody's not like super religious
or something like to the Bible, it's a good place
to go. It's got good advice whether you like whether
you believe in it or not. It's just like like
they're telling stories that happened like historically, and then the

(33:41):
outcomes of those stories, and like like what is what
are these self help books? Is like where they started?
Where they are? You know, It's just like so there's
so many like stories and like pieces of advice in
there and everything that's just like it's so helpful and
like just literally whatever you're going through, like somebody went
through it in the Bible, I promise or worse. Yeah.

(34:04):
But then also like you get guys like Alex Hermosi
and who are I don't is he religious?

Speaker 1 (34:13):
I don't follow Hermosey enough to know.

Speaker 3 (34:15):
Okay, yeah, I don't think he is super but I
love how he thinks about things. He was talking about
this one guy that was like, dude, I like manifested,
get you on your podcast and everything, and Hermosi definitely
doesn't believe in that ship.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, it does not.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
I don't think he believes in vision boards. And so
he was like, no, you created a personal brand. That
personal brand, your secretary reached out to me by creating
or like you created content, you created a personal brand.
Your secretary reached out to my secretary and we got
it set up. If you want to have done those things,

(34:53):
I would not be here. And so he was like
that it's not manifestations, it's that you put into the work.
And so he's very like a plus vehicles c kind
of thing. And so but I love that approach. But
at the same time, it's like like you could take
from that information saying that you could take from something
on the adverse side of like oh, like I can

(35:14):
manifest this, and like, but what is the manifestation? It's
almost like faith that you're going to be able to
do something. Yeah, but like as we all know, like
faith if that works is dead. So if you don't
put in that work, then that's not gonna like fruit
for you. And so but either way you look at it,
if it's like, well I just need to put in
X y work in this equal z, or like I

(35:35):
just have to have faith that'll do it and then
the works will come, you know. So it's like I
think either way it works.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Curious your thought on this, because it's something that I've
been thinking about a lot within the group actually, and
it relates to the same point, which is like the
way that Hermosi thinks is very like actionable and how
humans interact with each other and just how the like
process of human nature works. That's something that I've always

(36:01):
been super fascinated with, is just the idea that all
of us live together on this planet. We might not
know each other super well, we might know each other
really well, but how we all interact with each other
just this world that we create. Have you seen the
show Survivor it's kind of like Survivor, where you take
a bunch of people from a bunch of different aspects

(36:22):
of life, throw them into this situation where they're battling
against each other and they don't like they're having to
live on whatever they're given, they're having to do all
these challenges and stuff like that. Like it's the human
experience is wrapped up very well in that show where
it's like I don't know you, you don't know me,
but I have to either trust you or fight against you,
and it's like it's me versus you and a lot

(36:44):
of this, but I'm relying on other people. It's just
this super interesting social dynamic. And I feel like within
our group, I've seen a lot more social situations and
dynamics that I wasn't expecting to see. Do you feel
like you're getting that same type of experience out of
this group where it's like every time he gets together
for a loutus, something might happen, something might a cure.

(37:05):
That's just a different human experience that you've ever experienced before.
I know, it's a weird, like I would thing to
think about on the spot.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
But it's good.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
I would say this is almost just an interesting social experiment.

Speaker 3 (37:28):
It is. I like that just because you get these
men together and like, dude, most of the problem is
that they don't have a lot of friends. Yeah, I
would say that's like most of the problem at least.
And you put them in this room and you bring
these people in to do birth work or these speakers

(37:50):
or whatever, and you get them vulnerable and then they
start talking about their problems for the first time in
their life. Yeah, and this is when all the magic happens,
because it's transformation or it's breakthroughs or whatever you want
to call it. And it's so interesting to see exactly.
I had been kind of like I went to this

(38:12):
church camp when I was a kid, and they kind
of did like a similar thing. So coming into this
like the Lutis experience, like I had kind of already
experienced something like it, just I mean, like the vulnerability
part and like other things like that. I just kind
of grew up in that like environment and so that
wasn't super different for me. But what was different was

(38:32):
seeing these older men do it. Yeah, and like just
because I mean my dad just kind of always closed off,
like you know, a as most are, you know, and
so it's just like seeing these dudes that are like men,
their CEOs, their fathers, their husbands, and they're just like
crying in front of you, and you're like, holy shit.
But at the same time, I guess on the other

(38:54):
side of that was like kind of the experience part
and the like things that occur and happen and things.
One of the biggest things I would say would be
like as far as like being thrown in like a
survivor situation or something like that, I would say, like
quick to trust quicker, to take take it away. I

(39:17):
just want to. That's a big model for me because
I think if you're like hard, if you don't give
trust to people, like they can never like earn it
from you exactly, and so like I think you just
have to get that initially and like, but at the
same time, like I think you take it back quicker,
because it's just like if somebody like screws you over
or whatever, like you don't know, then you don't have

(39:37):
a relationship with them, and so it's just like you've
run that, I'm sorry, like, and so that's a big
thing for me. And then I also think like, but
also one of the things that's Matt and Laurene like
just have completely rocked my world with is that everybody
lives in their own world. Yeah, and so even though
like at these events and other things like situations that

(40:01):
might arise, or like conflicts that happen or things like that,
what's going on in my world completely different than what's
going on in your world exactly. And so like an
altercation that we might have could just be a complete
misunderstanding of like what's going on in each other's worlds.
Like you could be super mad and I could be
super happy, and then I just like say something that
triggers you, yeah, and then like just snap, you know,

(40:23):
and I just like I had no clue. I was
like I thought we were having a good time, you know,
or something. And so it's just like all the time
you have no clue what's going on in those other
dude's worlds. And so that's where I think that one
of the bigger problems today too, is that we don't
treat our friendships like intimate relationships. No, and so I
think that's a huge, huge gap because if we did,

(40:47):
we would be more accepting of those friendships, we would
be more vulnerable with our friends, we would like all
these different things, we would understand that they have their
own different worlds and everything, and the dynamic of our relationships.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
Would alter completely exactly.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
And so I think that's something that the group teaches
us so well, is that, like to be friends with somebody,
it takes more than just a like hey how are
you and or like hey let's get a beer, or
like let's go watch the game or whatever. It's It
takes more than that to have real friendships, real conversations.

(41:22):
And but the other thing that we weren't introduced to before,
and some of these guys have only like found that
and their wife coming up to this, like being that
close with somebody in general. And so what we can
take away from that is just like how important and
how to do that with our friends. But the value

(41:45):
that it bring is when you have men in your
life that you can get to that level with, Because
that's like when you say, like iron sharpens iron. If
there's something in the way of that iron, it's not sharpening.
But when you can get vulnerable and raw down to
your iron self, that's when iron sharpens iron.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
Yeah, I think the way that this world works is
not one that's great for male friendships or it's not
one that feeds male friendships very well. And that's one
thing that I've learned is just how to take those
relationships deeper and deeper and deeper and understand each other

(42:26):
deeper and deeper and deeper.

Speaker 3 (42:27):
Do you think it feeds any relationship well though.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
The world or are the world? Uh? I don't know.
I think it feeds the relationship between Funny enough, I
actually think the world feeds a relationship between man and
God because the world is pretty crazy and we need

(42:51):
something to believe in that might be too metaphysical and
really deep, but that's one relationship that I do think
the world does feed. I don't think people follow that
advice very well. I think people try and run from
that advice as much possible. But I do think that
that's something that the world sets itself for. But I
think in modern days doesn't feed like intimate relationships, you know,

(43:13):
sexual relationships, partners, stuff like that. I don't think it
feeds a lot of that really well. But it really
doesn't set a lot of guys up for a success
when it comes to like finding people that they can
trust and believe in, because they're so used to only
trusting and believing in themselves. So I think that's kind
of been the hardest thing for a lot of people,
is learning to trust others, learning to believe in others,

(43:36):
learning to be able to rely on others. Because there
are just so many guys who have gotten to where
they're at by themselves. That's a good thing, but they
can't open that up to other people. That's been the
biggest thing that I've tried to learn, Right.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
What if instead of trying to learn it, if we
just did.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah, simpler said than done, but are easier. Yeah, I mean, is.

Speaker 3 (44:01):
It hard to trust somebody? Is it hard to believe
in somebody? You don't think so?

Speaker 1 (44:05):
I think it is, And that's.

Speaker 3 (44:07):
I also think that relationships come very easy.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, And so.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
I mean, of course that's just like a different like framework,
but it's it's just like I think relationship relationships just
come to me very easily, and like being able to
get intimate with somebody comes very easily to me, and
like I have no problem trusting or believing or doing
any of those things with somebody, And so what if

(44:35):
you just could do it?

Speaker 1 (44:36):
I think that might be a couple different things. One,
I definitely think that's an age thing, being a little
bit younger. You definitely haven't been burned in a couple
different manners, right. I'm sure that there's people who have
come across in your life who have done you wrong.

Speaker 3 (44:49):
We have been cheated on, lied too. Yeah, there's only
so many emotions I feel like you go through.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
Yeah, but like when you just go through it for
so much longer and have different experiences with it, you
might feel a little bit differently on that about just
leaving and trusting the other thing. I would say you're
an extrovert, would I would I be incorrect in saying that.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
I would argue a little point to that. But I've
trained myself to like be more outgoing extroverted.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
Yeah, I definitely think that's a part of it. I
am a big at introvert, you know. I've learned how
to be an extrovert better and better over the years.
But like, deep down in your core, you know whether
you're an introvert or an extrovert, right, So if you're
saying you're an introvert, that's you and your core you
know that.

Speaker 3 (45:30):
So I was I would say it's like a mixture
kind of because like I have no problem being alone
at all whatsoever. But at the same time, I do
also like kind of crave like other people to be
around me sometimes, so I think I'm I'm definitely like
somewhere in the middle.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Yeah that makes sense, but yeah, I definitely think that's
a big part of it too, where you can just
embrace every situation as an extrovert and just be like, yeah,
I'm here, I'm a part of this, giving it my all.
Like that's something that I didn't know, right, Like I
didn't know that I was going to come into a
lot and give it my all. I didn't know that
that was going to be something that I could do
for sure. So that's something that I'm just now learning, right,

(46:03):
which is completely different from where I used to be.
So it's it's just one of those things where like
you say it as you know, why don't we just
do this, and it's like because the rest of the
world won't let you, Like that's my answer to a
lot of things, according to just the way that we
interact as humans. Okay, And I'm not saying this as

(46:28):
like a no you can't like I can't do this,
I can't do that. It's just like the way that
society has built itself makes it harder for us to
or makes it harder what's the right way of saying this,
That the way that society has worked itself out to
where it is today makes it just straight up harder

(46:51):
to do other things. And that's just the way of
social interaction, right, Like it's harder for me to go out,
and it's just a harder world for me to go
out and just go ask a girl out in person,
because the way that society has built itself is that
guys are creeps, and so if you go up to
a girl in the wrong situation, you're going to be

(47:11):
looked at as a creep. Not saying that that's the case,
I'm not saying that I can't do that. That's just
the way that society has formed itself. And so I'm
not saying that we have to conform to society. I'm
saying that that's the way that this social experiment of
life has kind of like worked itself out. And so
now like this is the way that I look at it, right,
I almost look at life as a social experiment, And

(47:32):
how do we play around the restraints? How do we
play around the rules?

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Right?

Speaker 1 (47:37):
How do we play around the things that have been
created before us to get to where we are now?
How do we figure out ways to manage that?

Speaker 3 (47:45):
What if you just break the rules?

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Though some rules you can, some rules are meant to
be broken, audit set some roles you probably can't as much, right,
So it's about finding where you can, And I think
that's the fun part about life, sure, is finding where
you can break out of the reins of society and
where to not necessarily conform, but where to balance yourself

(48:09):
into it.

Speaker 3 (48:10):
Right.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
I think podcasting is just like podcasting is a big
part of this. I have learned how to fit into
the podcasting world, but I do it in the way
that I want to. I do it differently, right. I've learned,
I've developed, I've trained myself to be the best that
I can in this space, to not just be that
guy who comes off the street and says, hey, I'm
starting a podcast. Right. So it's this game within a

(48:33):
game of life, and I think that's how you get
the most out of life personally, is finding those rules
that you can break. So it kind of wraps into
what you're saying, But it is very much like a
The world has been created this way? How do we
live in that world?

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Yeah? Dude, I just I really like Alex is Like
I'm gonna bring him up again.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
Know, Alex has a great idea on this well.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
I love his his thought on. One of the guys
asked him like, what do you think the meaning to
life is? And he was like, why does there have
to be a meaning to life? Yeah? Like according to
who exactly? And so I just really like challenging like
thoughts like that a lot of the times with like why, yeah,
who told you that? You know? It's just like like

(49:20):
who made you think what you think? And it's it's
out of a curity curiosity thing for me, because I
would I would almost go to say, like most of
the time I think a little more like Alex of
just like like why is the normal that I got
to go to the gym at like seven pm? Or
something like why can't I just go bust it at

(49:40):
three point thirty in the morning? You know? Just stuff
like that is like like who's telling me I can't?
It's my life exactly, you know, and so I could
just do exactly however and whatever I want to do
with it. And I think that kind of ties over
into like relationships and stuff like, dude, I went on
couple first dates like hinge, whatever, the questions that I

(50:07):
was asking these girls, they were like so thrown off
with Yeah, there's just like it's the biggest adversity you've faced,
like straight up, and these girls are like these girls
are telling me about like bad things that have went
on their their life, Like they're crying in front of me,
like all this first date. That's not a societal norm,

(50:30):
you know what I mean. But it's just like I
was just like I'm going on these dates to find
a girlfriend, and so to find a girlfriend, I have
to find somebody that has the same morals as me,
that wants the same things that a life is me
and like just a couple other things on this checklist.
And so I'm like I'm gonna find that as quick
as I possibly can. And so and I did, right,

(50:51):
and so like now I have this amazing girlfriend that
is like she's super smart, we have a lot of
the same values. We both value God very much. There's
just like she's adventurous, she likes to go do things,
like it's just so amazing because but I was straight
to the point I was like and with the other
girls like it was nice to meet you, like yeah, next, next, next,

(51:14):
and found one got it, And so it's just like
but I think it was just because, like I broke
a lot of norms in those conversations, and like a
lot of those girls were like they were a little
weirded out about it, but I was just like, yeah,
this isn't gonna work.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Yeah, thanks, And that's the fun part about it, right, Yeah, Like,
I mean, it's funny that you say that about, you know,
asking those questions on a first date. I've had three
girls in the past, like a couple months tell me
that I've asked too many questions and that's why they
didn't want to see me anymore. So it's it's one

(51:49):
of those things where like I've done that exact same thing. Sure, right,
I've done that where it's like, hey, I'm looking for something.
I know what I'm looking for here, let's get into it. Right,
that's breaking out the social norm right, that's not doing
what everyone's used to, the way that I'm finding these
girls is kind of the same way that everyone does though,
right online dating Hinge shurt into whatever at the gym,

(52:11):
talking to girls at a grocery store like that stuff
that people won't necessarily all do. But it's just a
part of like the dating experience, right, Everything in life
is just a part of some sort of experience. Yeah,
And so it's just about finding what works and what
doesn't work within that experience, right, Sure, I think what
is just such a big part of this where it's

(52:33):
like I've learned so much from relationships from being in
wat not just like intimate like relationships, you know, but
like friendships, right, and just how relationships build and grow
and shrink and can maybe go smaller than you expect.
You know. I've had guys that I talked to at
the first Lootis for hours on hours, who I've maybe

(52:55):
barely talked to since then, Right, And it's like you
just see how the relationship shift on a day by
day basis. And I think that's perfectly normal. But a
lot of people don't know that. A lot of people
don't understand that they still have their friends that they've
talked to since they were in high school, since they
were in middle school.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Right.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
They have those friends that they grew up with that
they just have the same relationship with. My relationship with
all the people that I know in my life has
changed completely since joining Lot because I've said, this relationship
isn't serving me in the way that I needed to
serve me. How do I fix that relationship so we
can serve each other.

Speaker 3 (53:28):
Either serve it or all of it from exactly, And
that's I think that's the same thing. But one of
the other things that I'm curious on your thoughts on too,
is there's been most of the relationships in my life
now or of course they're very intentional, like you said,

(53:50):
if they're not serving you, like sorry, you know. So
it's been one of those things where I have that,
of course, But I also have people in my life that, like, dude,
I could not call them for like six months, nine
months a year, like it would be the same. Like
I would just call them up and I would be

(54:12):
like like, yo, what's up, and they it would just
be back to normal. Yeah. One of the things that
I'm curious about to see about what or like one
of the things I've noticed in Utah in general is
there's a lot of surface level, superficial relationships. I would say, Utah, yes,
what now, yes, one hundred percent, Utah yes, Utah yes, right,

(54:35):
And so it's like, like, dude, if I don't if
I didn't talk to some of these people for like
a month, like I've never seen them again, probably you know.
But and what and like you said, not not superficial
or whatever, but it's just like because we get to
that vulnerable level or whatever. But at the same time,
like what goes on in my head sometimes is like

(54:56):
if I didn't give attention to these guys or if
I didn't like reach out or whatever, or like, would
my relationship be close and so like, But I think
that goes into the fact of like, Okay, probably haven't
put a lot into building that relationship in the first place,
whereas the guys back home that I could not call
for a year and still be like boys with them, Yeah,

(55:17):
years and years and years of effort. And so maybe
that's where that goes.

Speaker 1 (55:21):
But that that was where my mind immediately went to,
where it's like, if you don't think that these relationships
will last after a lot, then you need to put
more intention into it and actually build those relationships because
exactly like you said, those people that you could reach
out to without talking to them for onces and months
and months and you know, you might text each other
on like each other's birthdays and like catch up a

(55:43):
little bit. Like those are casual relationships, but those are
built on years of knowing that person, right, years of
just being around them constantly. Right, you go to school
with these people, you just see them all the time.
We don't see the people in WAT all the time, right.
I might see the guys once a quarter. At the
lose is if I don't make that intentional effort to
go see them more than those relationships aren't going to

(56:04):
build themselves. A lot of relationships does take time, right,
And I feel like that's a lot Like the people
that you have closer in your life are probably the
people you've spent the most time with in your life.
And it's hard to find people who are super close
to your in your life who haven't been in your
life for that long unless you're intentional about it, right.

Speaker 3 (56:24):
I think. I think the struggle for me in that
sense is not building those relationships at all. It's not like, oh,
how do I do this? Or like what blah blah blah,
But it's like I feel like now I'm so fine
tuned on what I'm looking for in a close friendship yeah,

(56:46):
and if they don't fit that criteria, I'm not really
willing to go that extra mile to get to know
them that well. And because i mean, like everybody knows
like proximity is power, or like you're the closest of
the five people you spend the most time with or whatever.
I think there's a lot that has to go into

(57:06):
building a friendship like to that level of like being
the five closest, and there's a lot of time that's spent,
there's a lot of like emotions that are spent, and
just like all these different things. And so one of
the biggest struggles for me, I mean like twenty years old, right,
and there's not a lot of like twenty year olds

(57:28):
that are like either where I'm at or like in
alignment with what I'm doing, or just you know things
like that. Yeah, and so I have a hard time
finding those people that I just really want to pour
into and spend that time with. And so like I
find myself just kind of like going back to some
of my hometown buddies or like my little brother just
whatever that is. Like, and so it's it's just been

(57:52):
I don't even know where to find those people, you know,
what I.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Mean, in my eyes, that feeling's never going to change
if you have it, that's fair. So like that that's
where my mindset was for a long time. I have
the people that I have in my life. I have
my five closes people, I have my proximity is power,
my core, right, and I would and I know what I'm.

Speaker 3 (58:11):
Looking for those people because I've audited not well yeah,
I okay, I audited, Like I kind of audited my
friends at year end. Right, it was just like are
these people serving me? Are they making me better? Like
do they have the same values as me? All these
different things, and like I kind of audit that audit
to the people that I like see as like kind

(58:32):
of mentees and then are these people learning? Are these
and then also mentors too? And so.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
I did I do that?

Speaker 3 (58:40):
And then one of my one of my biggest gaps
is like my peers, Like my peers, they're really good people,
They're not where I need them to be though, Yeah,
and that's something that's really hard for me because I
love those dudes with all my heart, but at the
same time, it's time to find new like and not

(59:00):
not even like leave those people behind, but just find
people that are going to push me to where I
want to go.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Yeah, well, and I think this is like, this is
what comes back to my point in general, which is
just like the human dynamics are so fascinating, right, Like
the way that we interact with the other each other
is so different from person to person that it's the
way that you're looking at it right now, it's probably

(59:27):
going to be very difficult to find those intimate relationships,
those very close people to add on top of what
you currently have. Uh. And it's not even from like
a like you're looking for too little standpoint, But it's
like when you have something in your mind of like
what a perfect friend looks like, there's going to be

(59:48):
people who come along that will fail at one of
those categories and you're never going to look at them
as the perfect friend. You're only going to look at
them as a peer. And so you're always going to
be putting people into a box. In my eyes, you're
always going to be limiting those relationships because you're looking
for something bigger. When you're putting limits on relationships, that's

(01:00:11):
where the struggle comes in because a lot of I
feel I mean and you can correct me if I'm wrong,
but like this, I felt a lot of those buddies
that I had from high school, those people that I
had in my life for a long time, I was
still putting limits on those relationships because it was just
our relationship is what it is because of time, and
nothing's going to change that. And it only took actionable

(01:00:36):
like having conversations with these people, setting boundaries and being like,
what do you want out of this relationship? What do
I want out of this relationship? What do you get
out of this relationship? What do you not get? How
can we just provide each other because no matter what,
you're going to be putting limits on relationships.

Speaker 3 (01:00:54):
Yeah, And maybe I miscommunicate that a little bit. Like
I'm my hometown friends are like some of the smartest
people I know. Yeah, They're like very business oriented, They're
very deep in conversation, like all these different things. Of course,
some of them are like pretty lost right now. They're

(01:01:15):
just in the college like loopoole, or they're like just
like in a frat or just whatever that looks like.
And so like they definitely have like a ton of potential. Yeah,
and like I love them and I want to stick
around them and help them and do whatever I can
for them. I have my childhood best friend is like
he's damn near where I'm at. Yeah, like he's he

(01:01:35):
literally flips skid steers for fun, and then like he
works for his dad and like taking over the business
and whatever. He very successful twenty year old. And then
but like I think, and I don't even like I
don't feel like I have like crazy high like I
have high standards in a sense, but I'm just like
I'm looking for somebody that's close, like if I can

(01:01:57):
find like another one of my best friend or like
somebody that's like like just kind of doing the thing. Yeah,
but I can't and maybe can't say a limiting word,
of course. But it's just like I don't know what
social settings to put myself in to be able to
find people my age that are doing the thing, because

(01:02:19):
it seems like everybody my age is fucking lost or drunk.

Speaker 1 (01:02:22):
Like I mean, yeah, that's how I felt for a
long time, and I'm twenty seven and I still feel
that way. So it's kind of like, at what point
do you just say they're never going to be in
the situation that I'm at, So how do I just
make the best out of those relationship, right, how do you?
In my eyes because of how different every relationship is,

(01:02:44):
Like I will never expect any of my friends to
be like some of the best friends that I'll have
right now, because each one of those relationships serves me
so differently, and so in my eyes, I'm not looking
for someone who fills that same role that I can
just go to them for instead, or that I can
go to them on top of I'm looking for someone

(01:03:05):
who can fill my bucket in a different way. Right,
Like when I moved to California, I had very close
friends in my life that I had very intimate, like
very intimate relationships with that I had very different moments with.
But I was looking for someone who I could go
a little bit deeper, with a little bit more understanding
with that I could have really long, deep conversations with.

(01:03:25):
I found a best friend there. Then I moved to Arizona,
and I was kind of looking for someone that I
could just go out with and have a little bit
more fun in person with I could just enjoy life
more with. And I found that person there, sure, Right,
So it's like you have all these relationships they serve
you in a different way. But how do you expand
on that those friendships?

Speaker 3 (01:03:43):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
And so I look at my brothers and Watt and
relating this back to Watt as we finish up, I
look at my brothers in WAT and I go, all right,
who are the guys that I can turn to when
I need something? Who are the guys that I can
call at night when I am feeling down and I
just someone to talk to, I just need someone to
uplift me. Who are the guys that I'm going to
see at ever? You lootis who I can turn to

(01:04:05):
when I don't really have anything going on. I could
just go talk to that. Like, you're looking at all
of these people, all these relationships that can fill all
of these social dynamics. That's how I view relationships. Some
of those you get more intimate, some of those you
get a little bit less intimate, but they're still serving
that purpose for you. And when you're able to serve

(01:04:26):
a purpose for them and they're able to serve a
purpose for you, that's a friendship. At the end of
the day, doesn't care. It doesn't matter how big the
friendship is, how strong the friendship is, doesn't matter. You know,
my age, your age, where you're at at life. But like,
if I know I can just go to this one guy,
look in his eyes and give him a fucking hug.
Do you know how valuable that is for both of us?

(01:04:48):
It's true where we just know each other, we understand
each other, and it's real. We don't have to talk,
we don't have to do all this stuff, but like
we just have a real connection. That type of stuff
is so valuable.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
To me for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
And so yeah, I just I guess more or less
anyone who's listening to this and you, I would challenge
you to find people who can fill more roles in
your life and find people who can just balance you
out better. Because when you have more friends in life
who are going to balance you, you're going to feel

(01:05:20):
more at peace. Right with those relationships, you can turn
those relationship for different things. So that's where my mind
goes with a lot of this stuff. So it's a
good challenge you to that and a lot right figure
out who are the guys who you can go to
for different things?

Speaker 3 (01:05:33):
Right for sure?

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
So I just feed in those relationships.

Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
I think maybe I kind of like had that figured
out already. I just didn't like identify it too, yeah,
because I'm like, as you're saying this, I'm starting to
think about dudes, and.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
I think most guys know that, right, Like most people
in this world know that where it's like, yeah, I
got guys that I could go do that for this,
I got people I can go to for that. I
got my mom who fills this role. I got my dad.
Like it's it's at the end of the day, this
comes back to like a family dynamic, right. You go
to your mom for one thing, you go to your
dad for your siblings. Yes, it's all subconscious, but when
we can actually make that conscious, Yeah, Oh, that's the

(01:06:08):
game changer, right where it's like, oh, okay, I have
all these subconscious relationships filling roles that you need to
feel exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
Yes, but if you're not conscious about it, you can't
fill any roles that you don't know you need to
feel exactly. That makes Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:06:22):
Yeah, that's my entire outlook on life, which is like
this world is this world, and it's crazy and it's
complicated and it's messed up, and there's a lot of
things that we just do in life that's subconscious and
the world just kind of takes stuff away from us,
and it just kind of says, here's what the world
tells us to do. How do we take those things,

(01:06:44):
turn them conscious, understand them, and then actually take action
on them in our lives. Some things we can some
things we can't.

Speaker 3 (01:06:53):
Say.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
Even if you can't do it, you're gonna look at
it and you're going to be like, how can I
overcome this? Right, you just have to fay. You have
to learn, you have to develop your skills. You have
to like understand how the world works. When you understand
how the world works and you can consciously attack that,
that's where I think a lot of power comes in.
So I think that, yeah, just my two cents, just

(01:07:14):
the way that I look at the world.

Speaker 3 (01:07:16):
So that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
Yeah, appreciate you let me go on a little soapbox there,
But I think that I.

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
Think that wraps it up.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
Yeah, that's fine. I love I love thinking about the
world that way. So thanks for doing this, Thanks for
coming on, Thanks for kind of interviewing me in a way.
But we'll get you more in front of the camera
and more get you used to interviewing guys. I think
it'll be good for everyone involved. So sure, you're gonna
have to pick this up. I like to end the
podcast will give us some love to one guy in
the group. So who's someone that comes to your mind
right off the bat that you can give some love to?

(01:07:49):
So many guys that's the problem. You got to like
fifty guys and then you're like, wait, I need to
pick one.

Speaker 3 (01:07:55):
I want to give some love to Jeff Man reaching out,
getting some lunch with him though other day. That's a
good conversation. Haven't talked to him in a little while.
So yeah, it was good to see him and reconnect
and he's got big, big things going on and is
just excited for that dude to see his growth. Yep,
good guy, Jeff.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
I wasn't gonna go play basketball this morning, but just
set to sleep a little bit more.

Speaker 3 (01:08:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:08:19):
Yeah, shout out Josh Middleton, Josh, love you brother. You
you know. It's just one of those guys who's just
extremely vulnerable and everything that he does extremely authentic and
knows who he is at all times. And he's going
to be a part of the softball team, which we're
gonna have a lot of fun doing. So that should
be a good time. So chance appreciate you brother. We'll
look forward to hearing you more on the podcast. Thank
you man, Thank you for listening to another episode of

(01:08:41):
the We Are the Day podcast. If you want to
join this incredible community, this incredible brotherhood of men, you
can go on Instagram at mister Jimmy Rex or at
wotmovement dot com. Click the link of the bio you
can join the tribe. To tribe is open right now.
Directly through there, you could also go to join dot
com that is j O I N W A T

(01:09:03):
T dot com. You could also go to WTFID dot
com w A T T v I D dot com
to go watch the We Are the They documentary as well.
If you have any other questions, feel free to reach
out to Jimmy directly or hit us up on Instagram.
Thank you again for listening to the podcast. And it
is that time once again for me to bid you
all I do