April 28, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode of From Weeping to Warrior-Igniting Freedom with Roshawn Nicole meet singer/songwriter Just Vince1 and hear all about a true weeping to warrior come back story...
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A crazy no one change, no one change good finding me.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm afraid I'm king with my hands and or.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ain't nobody, ain't no money stopping me?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hello, my beautiful people, Welcome to the show from Weeping
to Warrior, Igniting for Them with Roshan Nicole, where we
talk about all things mental health, awareness and wellness and
interview amazing guests from all over the world sharing their
incredible stories of how they overcame challenges and what they're
currently doing to maintain their health and their mental health.
(00:42):
I am your host, Roshan Nicole, and if you are
new here, welcome. If you've been following this podcast radio,
welcome back. I am so excited you're here. I truly am.
If you would like to be a guest on my show,
we would love to have you to share your Weekend
to Warrior story. Contact your girl at end at Roshaw
nicolelones dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We would love to have you. If you know my
story back in twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Twenty one, I was in treatment for two months for depression, anxiety,
addiction and PTSD and like I said every episode, you
know that was the best decision and the hardest decision.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Of my life, but I'm so glad that I was
able to do that.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So if you are suffering, if you're suffering in silent,
I want to encourage you to go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And get help, to talk to someone.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I'm super excited about this podcast because I want others
to also share their story so.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
That you know that you're not alone, and so that.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You know that there is hope and that there's freedom
and healing on the other side. There is a twenty
four to seven hotline that you can call if you
are a loved one needs support, and that you can
call our text nine eight eight. You can call our
text nine eight eight. All right, friends, So I'm super
(01:59):
excited about our guest today, but you know, before we
bring him out and hear his incredible story, I want
to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I am not a medical professional.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I am in a certification program to be a certified
holistic practitioner. So anything that I discussed on this or
future episodes, it's simply what I've done to overcome depression
and anxiety. And also I talk about a trigger born
because we're talking about mental health and there could be
some topics that might be triggering for you. All Right,
(02:35):
my friends. So we are going to talk about a
mental health tip of the week. And you know, I
was thinking, I was like, well, what should I talk
about this week? And so our guest is going to
talk about his story of overcoming trials.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And obstacles and addictions.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So I thought, you know, why don't we talk a
little bit about addiction, like how you can help someone
if you.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Are a loved one is struggling. And so I have
a couple of things. I'm looking down at my notes
here and I just want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
A few things if you know someone who is who
is struggling with addiction. And so the first thing that
I want you to consider and think about is to
be compassionate and to not be judgmental.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Remember, you know that addiction is a disease, and so.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Approach your loved one with empathy, with patience, with understanding,
avoid blaming, and avoid criticism. So being being there and
showing sympathy, showing empathy for your loved one also create
a safe space that they can talk to you.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
So creating that space.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Where you're just listening and not getting act them, of
preaching at them, but having a listening ear and just
listen to.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
What your loved one is sharing and what they are saying.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
If you like, if you are preaching at them, they're
going to tend to want to run away and not
be around you. So being compassionate and having that safe
space so they can share what they're going through is
a great way to help support them. Another thing that
I want to talk about is encourage professional help. Now
(04:18):
I'm going to have on future episodes. I'm going to
have some counselor to come on and talk about other
strategies that you can use if you are a loved
one is struggling, and also talk about different modalities, different
types of treatments, and so I want you to stay
tuned for that, but I want you to think about,
you know, encouraging your loved one with professional help. You know,
(04:40):
addiction is difficult to overcome alone, and so encourage them
to seek professional help, whether if that is therapy, if
that's counseling, that's the rehab. I did E and DR,
which is trauma therapy. We're going to talk about that
in future episodes, and that was so helpful for me.
So there's different types of modalities that could help your
(05:00):
your lovel and we're going to go into more of
that on future episodes. I want you to also think about,
you know, to be patient. Healing comes with time, and
I know when I was going through my process, I
just wanted to just heal and you know, overcome everything
right away. And yes, we tend to want that to
happen for us, but also healing does take time.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
We're not gonna go from A to Z. Healing.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I don't know if you've heard this before, but kaling
is healing is not linear, right. There's gonna be kills
and valleys, highs and lows, ups and downs during that journey.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
So it's gonna take time. Be patient, Be patient.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
And also consider that relapse could possibly happen during that time,
but also be there to support.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Your loved one during that time of going through their
healing journey. So these are just some things that I
want you just to think.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
About and to consider when you're helping someone going going
through addiction. All right, friends, So our special guest is
all the way We're gonna go on the map.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We're going to Virginia and I want to introduce this yesterday.
I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm gonna read his bio Vincent widely recognized as Jess Bench,
is a smooth, inspirational R and B artist from New Bern,
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Whose music is deeply influenced.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
By his church background and the wisdom of his elders.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Starting his musical journey at the age of.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Three, this sound is characterized by its soothing, harmonious approach
to things of.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Love and unity. Let's welcome this warrior king all the
way right now. He resides in North Carolina. Just vin
to the show.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Girl, you ain't never lie your own horn.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
He Hello, I'm doing well. How are you?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Just day, I'm doing well. I can't complain. If I
started complaining, I feel it. I started feeling ungrateful. And
today God gave me the strength to get up, you know,
kobing and my right mom brought me home safely. And
that's enough to be grateful for what you think.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Absolutely absolutely, I'm so blind, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yes, so glad you're here to share.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
We're super excited to have you to come on to
share about your not all your music, but also your story.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
And so Justine, I would love for you before.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
You start on your weekend to warrior story, if you
could just tell the audience who's listening, who's watching, Just
a little bit about who was just then?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Oh man, it took me a long time to find
out who just Vince is. But just Vince is just Vince.
You know, I was born Vincent Mills Becton, you know
what I mean. But you know, as I grew up,
you know, I'm just old country boy. I'm just sure
your average Joe person. I'm your next door day. I'm
just Vins. I just want to be in Vince. I
(08:02):
don't want to be no more than.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
That, all right, all right, just being you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
And so just Vince, you currently reside, you said right
now in Virginia.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Is that correct, Yes, ma'am. I'm in Virginia by way
of North Carolina, born and raised Newburn, North Carolina, the
birthplace of Pepsicola.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Okay, oh okay, yeah, well great, Well just Vince, I
want us to I would love to hear your story,
you know. And so let me tell the the audience
a little bit about just Vince. I just recently just
started following him. I was recommended by a friend and
(08:41):
and as I was going through his social media, I
was just like very and I was inspired because just
Vince has just been on it just with the posting,
you know, and kind of and sharing his story, and
so I was just like, wow, this is very inspiring
and just your commitment and your dedication to your music
is amazing, and so I just wanted to say that,
you know, before you start share your story. That is
(09:03):
just amazing your consistency and just sharing the public about
your music and your story.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So yes, wow, thank you so much, beloved. I really
do appreciate you following me, and I just appreciate you know,
and what you're giving me. You know, they say give
you a person a flowers while they're alive, but that
you smell, you know what I mean, because you're being
gone from way from here. It does you no good
at all. You know. Man, I've been singing for as
(09:31):
long back as I can remember. I mean like way
back from like they say, from where I'm from in
the country, from kneehigh to a grasshopper, you know. But
I didn't know that that was what I wanted to do.
You know. I got to jump into it quickly because
I know we don't have a lot of time, but
you know, so just bear with me. I I knew
(09:55):
that singing was comfort to me. I come from an
alcoholic family background, and my mother was a severe alcoholic.
Never knew my father, but I understood that he was too.
That was what I was told. And my mom, man,
I tell you she used to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
(10:17):
But it was normal for me to see her like that.
It was scary because out of that. To be honest
with you're not throwing anything on my mom. I love
her immensely. But if I look at you know, the
punishment I got today back then, if I look at
it today, it was call it's call abuse. You know.
(10:38):
So as a five year or three year old kid,
you don't know what she was getting beat for two
weeks ago, right, you know. But I love my mother.
I love her, I love her, and she didn't know
no better. She didn't know any better. She was only
done doing what was done to her, right, you know.
(11:01):
And back then, chess well chest hoising the child is
one thing. Beating the child's another, you know. And I
was getting beaten, and not only that, I was being
picked on. We lived in the projects and we didn't
have money, you know, So my clothes came from the
(11:24):
Salvation Army and my dad was sending money to buy
me clothes. That happened. I mean, she she did that.
You know. My mother took care of me. I loved
my mother and we just didn't have it. So it's
kind of crazy. How you can live in the projects
with children can be really really, really cruel. So you
(11:46):
can live in the projects, but to you, you're poured
in the other kids. But in fact everybody's for you know,
because you wouldn't be living in the projects. So the
children made me feel like I was poor than they was.
So that developed low self esteem, low self work. So
singing to me was a way to escape not you know.
(12:08):
And going back to what I was saying, I was
being abused, which I know that his abuse today. And
I was also being sexually abused, you know, by a
friend of the family. So I was catching hell from bovins.
You know, I wasn't catching it here. I was catching
it then, you know. And it was rough. So going
(12:28):
through school, going through school, School wasn't important to me
even as a child. Survival was. I just want to live,
and I learned how I learned how to survive, live
and manipulate at a very early age because that was
(12:48):
how I made it through. But still God placed that
melody in my heart that when I got in the
mirror and I emulated James Brown with my mother's towel
wrapped around my neck and the brush for the microphone
and James Brown and spinning around like Michael Jackson, I
(13:10):
was free. That you were free the who I wanted
to do. And in the moment, at that moment, you know,
the abuse was gone. If that made any sense to
your phone. Well, I didn't pass the first grade because
I stayed home with my mother because she was always sick,
(13:30):
throwing up blood. I told you she at cirrhosis of
the liver. And that's what I found out later on
in life. And so I didn't pass the first grade.
So again there I go again. The kids are picking
on me, my protective that was abusing me sexually. I
guess that's what the person I was paying for paid,
(13:52):
paying for being protected. And so I didn't know which
way to go, just a kid moving on through high school.
I didn't read well. I didn't. I just didn't read well.
I didn't learn well. You know, I I couldn't grasp it,
(14:14):
you know what I mean? Still, even high school or
throughout the years up to high school. Survival was still
key to me. My grandmother and my mother passed when
I was like eight years old, seven or eight, and
my grandmother started taking care of me. She passed on
when I was about fifteen or sixteen. You know, that
was my other death of another mom. So you got
(14:37):
to understand I was being placed here, there, here, there,
here and there, and it was nothing. It became nothing
strange for me because you know, my attitude was what's next,
you know, So moving on. I ended up not graduating
(15:00):
from high school and I left. I left, went to
New York, and I got the wrong people, you know,
I wanted on. After New York, I felt like I
could start my life over again. Nobody knows me, you know,
and not can be anybody I wanted to d you know,
(15:23):
they're only gonna know what I tell them. But getting
in with the wrong people. They introduced me to crack cocaine,
and I started using that with them, and before you
know it, you know, it wasn't an instant addiction, but
I felt like when I used it the first time,
it didn't hurt me and it didn't kill me. So
(15:43):
I wasn't afraid to use it again. Wrong answer, you know.
I mean I didn't know anything. I didn't know what
crack was, had never heard of it. But I became
addicted to that in New York. It took me through homelessness.
It took me through I quit school, like I said,
and sleeping, running from house to house and dirty, and
(16:07):
you know, no place to go. You know what I'm say,
here's this country boy in New York City. I don't
belong there, but I'm trying to make myself fit in.
So what I was doing was looking for love and
all the wrong places. However, I never lost my faith
(16:28):
in God and who God was to I was taught
at a very early age who the Lord Jesus Christ was,
and I always prayed whether I was doing right or wrong.
You know, God, I was so foolish, God, they said.
I hear older folks say God take care of babies
and foods. Well, at that time, I wasn't a baby. God.
(16:49):
I was definitely your foods. A fool and He kept me, man,
I mean, he kept me many times over. I had
remember sharing something with someone today. I said, if I
was God, I would have killed me a long time ago.
You know what I mean, and that's the reason why
(17:11):
I always throw it up, you know what I mean,
because I know what God has done to me and
so many times, many times over, So I moving on.
I you know, I ended up leaving New York and
I never got help for a drug addiction. Okay, So
I brought the diction back home to North Carolina because
(17:33):
if you know, everywhere you go, you take you with you, right,
that's the only thing. I never never never changed his spots,
the only changes locations. So now I'm bringing this back
home with me. And I was able to subside for
a while, but then of course the diction shows back
(17:53):
up again. For Breshion never dealt with what happened in
my childhood that was still there and getting stealing and
going to prison uh at as a prison sentence for investment,
you know, stealing, you know, because addiction, I have you
doing things that you never thought you would do, that
(18:14):
you weren't There was always always shunned down upon my
family come from. I come from a family of educators
in very middle class people with educations or doctors, lawyers,
teachers and so forth and so on, and so I
wasn't taught that, you know, but I was ashamed of myself.
(18:34):
I didn't know how to get up of what I
was in, you know, and I was sham and nobody
wanted me around because I still I didn't want the embarrassment,
because I was even embarrassed with myself, if it makes
sense it all. I went to five treatments, six treatment
(18:56):
centers and never happened because it never never changed because
the student never showed up. The teacher had already always
been there, you know, but the student never showed up,
or the students had showed up, the student left class early,
you know, because it was everybody else's fault but my own, right,
you know. But you're not responsible for addiction, but you
(19:17):
are surely responsible for your recovery, yes, you know. And
I had to learn. But you know what I had
to do with Shawanda. I had to go back and
revisit somebody I didn't want to meet, and I had
to go back and consult the child.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
And me the child.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah, I'm a grown man. I was a boy. How
they said I was a grown man, But the boy
was in me. I was just walking. I was just
a shelf of the boy. To go back and comprehend
and let him know that it wasn't his fault. He
needed to be free, because when the trauma happens in
your life as a child, that's where you stopped growing and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Styes, it stays there in TI. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
So I had to go back and I had to
go back, and I had to consult that child, and
I had to let that child know that it was okay,
it's time for you to go. Right, You're free, and
it's going to be all right. You're free to go now.
Nobody else is going to hurt you. And I started
to grow from there, and there wasn't a lot. It
(20:23):
wasn't a fast process. It was a very long process.
And I had ups and downs up down, Yeah, I
was on top of the mountain and then down in
the valleys. I had those but no matter what, I
still didn't pick it up the drugs. Now, I stopped drunking,
drinking and drugging, but I still had that same mindset.
(20:45):
So I had to go at that time and pray
hard and consult God and say Lord, I needed renewing
of my mind, you know. I need you to quicken
me and it renew my mind, you know, because I
need to catch up with who I am now, right,
(21:05):
And not only that I want to love, I want
to learn how to love you know, I want to
learn how to be the person that you made need
to be from the beginning of time, right. And it
started to happen slowly. And when I started, the one
thing I promised God, I said, if you, if you
(21:27):
get me out of this and you'll help me to
get back on my feet, that I can stand on
my own feet, if you will protect me and keep
the devil off of me long enough that I can
get some strength and get back on my feet. I
promise you. Everywhere I go, I'll talk about you. I'll
introduce on God to you, because God would only allow
(21:49):
you to keep in your life with what you give away.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, Yes, and allowed to do that.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
And I made that promise to him and I have
not stopped since. Yes. Right.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Wow, Wow, just wow.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
When I'm hearing your story, I hear like a book
or you speaking to you know, children or to young men,
like I could just I could just see that, like
I could see that for you. I don't know if
that's something that you kind of thought about for your future,
but I could just see that for you.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
It's not really.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
You know, I see in my I stee in my lane.
You say, okay, okay, I stay in my lane and
I do what God. You know, one lady told me.
One lady comes to me and she says, the Lord
told me you was gonna be a product of preacher.
I said, well, that's funny because he never told me that.
What he had told me, but he has told me
it was to go and encourage people and show them
(22:45):
how you did it. You know what I mean, how
you did it, and that God has no perspective person,
and what he did for me, he'll do for you.
You know what I mean. But I tell people all
the time I work with God. Girl, I got the
scars to prove it.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah same here. Absolutely that starts to
prove it.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Absolutely. Wold Justine, Wow, no change, don't change the binding
me with hands and or.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Ain nobody ain no money stuffing me, you know me.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Serve to us.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
You show story is very inspiring.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I want you to talk a little bit more, if
you can, to the audience a little bit about your
your process of going through treatment, if you if you're
comfortable sharing that as far as like what does that
look like like? During that process, like you know, because
like for in my situation, you know, I hit rock bottom,
you know, and then once I hit rock bottom, I
gotta go. And sometimes it takes people multiple times to
(24:06):
hit rock bottom. So like what was your journey hitting
rock bottom and then what was your treatment like when
you were going through that process.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
The rock bottom for me, you know, was knowing where
I come from, Like I tell you, I come from
a family of professional people and more. It's like I
can describe it as the prodigal son being the king
of the child of a king, and you take your
(24:42):
inheritances and you move out and you run out, but
then you gotta you gotta, you gotta crawl back, and
you know, and and asked it to to eat from
the table along with the dogs, you know what I mean,
because you don't feel worthy. My my rock bottom was
within my own self because I was fighting the demons
(25:02):
within myself. And I went to maybe six seven probably
I said five, but I think it's probably a six
or seven treatment centers. And I went there to stop
for now, or I went there to get people back
into my life. You know. I went there with the
(25:25):
intentions of, Okay, I'm here and it's gonna magically work. No,
the seas ain't gonna get planted in the garden unless
you use the dudes. Absolutely, the dudes are there, but
you got to pick them up and use them. So
I didn't want to call anybody at two o'clock and
the morn and say, hey, I feel like I want
to get hot, because I didn't. I didn't want them
(25:46):
to feel like I was weak.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I mean I was still trying to save my face,
you know. And I was more concerned about what people
thought about me, you know, and living, you know, And
I was like wow. So treatment for me, I went
through like a six or seven of them, and I
never got it. But one thing about treatment, senate that
(26:09):
I realized after I made it through the processes, you
can't put nothing before you put God because you got
to take him in there with you, you know what I mean.
You stole him, you know what I mean. And so
being in those treatments and the last one I went to,
I walked out and I said, you know what, Lord,
(26:32):
I said, I loved me, m hm, but I don't
like me. I loved me because I didn't want to die,
but I didn't like being. I didn't like being around me.
I wasn't good with who I was. I didn't want
I wasn't good with my own company, you know. But
(26:55):
then I had to God turned me. Then God taught
me how to like myself. Okay, you know, because I
love everybody on the face of eve because it's a commandment.
But do I like everybody? So I don't like the way,
you know. And I learned how to like Vance. And
I learned how to be comfortable with Vince, and I
(27:18):
learned how to eventually love this unconditional and embrace what
I happened to me in the past to be a
format to help someone else, because as I just said,
God wouldn't want to allow you to keep in your
life what you've given away. If you want love, you
(27:42):
have to give love. If you want understanding, you have
to be understanding. You know what I mean? If you
want you know how? And it goes on like that,
you know, And and and it really taught me have
to be more tom pathetic and empathetic, passion and compassion
(28:03):
and everything like that. Because I see him watch BINGI
and still crying when he when he's gonna live on him.
I'm trying to tell you I can't. I feel like
a movie I saw you saw a tear.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
H ain't never crying.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Because but you know what though, I've always had that
Indian right, and I didn't learn how to cry because
yeahs as boys, it's beatn to our mind. Don't cry.
You know, boys don't cry. You've been a punk. That's
the worst thing you can tell.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
A little boy, absolutely, yes.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Telling him not to feel, you know. And that's how
the old older people taught us, you don't try. Only
punks cry, And so I didn't want to be no punks.
I'm not gonna cry, even though I was hurting, you know,
I'm not going to cry. So I learned how to
suppress my feelings. And yes, uh, and it made me
a It made me a unfunctional mm hmm uh grown child.
(29:11):
Mm hmm. Yeah, made me very unfunctional, you know, very numb.
And it's it's it's not fair to tell children not
to cry.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
They didn't need Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you know you did.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
You did, and you know and you said something too
that I really want to you know, highlight as well.
You know when you're going through the healing process that
sometimes you know, going.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
To treatment the first time, you may need to go
additional times.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And so I just want you know, I was talking
earlier how healing is, you know, not linear. There's hills
and valleys, you know, ups and downs. So I'm grateful
that you were able to speak on that you did
go and that you know, I had to go a
couple a few more times and then I got it
when I went to step the you know, six or
the seven time, and I knew, like, this is it,
this is what I had to do. And so, you know,
(30:03):
thank you for speaking on on that, because I think
the public needs to hear that healing will take some time.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
So yes, time, and it's like anything else. You know,
two years into the woods, Holend's gonna take you the
walk out of your woods the same amount of time
it took your walk.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yep. Absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
It's not an overnight thing, you know. And it's a
beautiful thing when you get to when you get to
go through the process and you start looking at things
and you're like that you've never seen before. You might
have seen in a thousand times, but it's like it's
new to you, you know, And and that's when you
start to live and you start to feel the presence
(30:44):
of God and you know, and appreciating the beauty of living.
And when you say thank you Lord, you actually really
mean thank you Jesus, because I couldn't have done it without.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You, couldn't have done it.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yes, there's no way.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, yeah, no way.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
And one more thing that I wanted to kind of
highlight where you were talking about that you had to
go back to your childhood to heal and to move
forward and to break free. And a lot of times,
you know, we're walking around sometimes and we're you know,
we're thinking, like, you know, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine,
not knowing that subconsciously the trauma that you dealt with
as a child or in your past could very well
(31:24):
be affecting you. And so you had to go back
and speak to that child and say, you know, you
are okay, you are safe.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It is not your fault.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
And so I just want to before we talk a
little bit about your music, I want you just to
speak just a little bit about going back to your your, yourcht,
your your your your precious innocent self, and tell us
a little bit about that.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
You know, I've seen a a post on Facebook and
it was this grown man It was really muscular, huge guy,
and he was looking in the mirror, and you should
see your own reflection when you're looking in the mirror.
What he was looking at was the little boy. Yeah,
and the little boy was crying. And that man I
(32:11):
relate that as the story to myself. That man had
to go back and rescue that kid, because that kid
was still there. Although he was looking at the affections
of a kid, he was actually looking at yourself and
going back and confronting that bring up feelings and you people,
you have to forgive in order to free that child,
(32:37):
because they bring up things that you actually really forgot about.
You know. Let's say, let's put it on me that
I actually really forgot about that I suppressed and I said, oh, man,
I remember that, you know. But when I went back
and I pulled those curtains back and I was looking
at that little boy within me, he was crying because
(32:58):
I even cried in the mirror, and I thought, I
didn't know that I really felt this way, you know,
And I didn't take him by the hand and lead
him out of that space, you know, holding him and
consoled him and let him know that, Okay, it's time
(33:20):
for you to leave. You're free to go and take
him to a safe place and let him go because
he needed to be set free.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Yes, that's where the trauma started. That's where I stopped
growing emotionally. I was still growing physically, but I was
still going on mostly. And we have a lot of
grown We have a lot of grown boys here still
in the world, you know what I mean. Most of
them are afraid to confront that person because they don't
(33:54):
want to remember what it was like. But you have
to remember what it was like so that you know
where you're going. Yes, yes, yes, that's a destination for
all of us.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So set yourself free from the past
so you can be free in your future.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Yes, yeah, man, Yes, beautiful, Wow, you have a powerful,
powerful story, and so it takes a lot of vulnerability
and transparency encourage to just you know, share you know,
your story.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So I just I do want to say thank you
for sharing, because I wanted to transition a little bit
before we say goodbye and talk a little bit about
your music too.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
So but yes, thank you, just Vince for sharing your story.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
And you know, those who are listening out there today,
I hope and pray that his story has encouraged you,
has touched your heart, and if.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You need to, you know, seek professional help, go and
do it. You know, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
The first step is to admit it to yourself first
and then go to someone else who can support you
in that journey.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So thank you for sharing that. Just then, all right,
my friend, we're gonna transition just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Uh And yeah, what I want you to give some
advice to those who are listening, who are listening, who
just heard your story.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
What advice would you give to those who are listening.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
M don't be afraid. And if you are afraid, you know,
take the first step, you know, to a better tomorrow.
And it's for yourself, because when even if you're a
grown man and you have a family, when that man
(35:37):
is sick, the whole house it's sick. You know, the
best vice I can give is to thy own self.
Always be true, you know, accept the responsibility. And I'm
not saying you have to accept the responsibility of everybody,
but accept the responsibility of the role that you played
(35:59):
in it. You know what I mean, because everybody has
a different role to play in and families stop co
signing for something that you know that is wrong. If
he's wrong, says wrong. Bible said, let your yas be
ya's and your knaves be knaves, he was. Stick to
that and and seek help, seek treatment. Don't be afraid,
(36:23):
uh to say I don't know. Yes, it's never a
problem with saying I don't know. There is no dumb
answered a question if you don't know, because what you're
wanting to know may very well say if your life
or somebody else's or the child's, your grandchilds, and the
people behind you, you know, because this thing is just biggest,
(36:46):
bigger than us.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
You know, we are.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
We may be a movement by ourself, but we are
a force when we're together that they Yes.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yes, absolutely beautiful, beautiful, all.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Right, my friend, we have probably about two to three
more minutes, and so I want, but I do want
you to talk about your song, because that is that
is what you do, my friend. You know a beautiful
singer with a beautiful voice, and I want you to
talk a little bit about your single called Southern Hospitality Girl.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
But before you do, I'm feeling a little.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Some way about this, Okay, okay, because.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I was, like I am from Seattle, Washington. I'm not
on this song.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I know I'm not Southern, but I was like, what
what what do we gotta do to be on on
your on your song? So but anyway, great song, Love
the song, and just speak to the audience about that.
We would love to hear about your your song. Southern
Hospitality Girl.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Well, first of all, are your mother and your mother
and grandmother? Are they? Do they have any Southern times? Oh?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yes, we do?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Oh yeah, So then you are a Southern hospitality girl
in your blood. It's in your blood. You can't escape
that because your mama learned it from Big Mama, and
big Mama learned it from such as such a person,
you know what I mean. So that includes you two
because what they did they cast down what they learned
to you. So it makes you a Southern hospitality girl
too as well. Southern Hospitality Girls is paying homage to
(38:19):
the women that any woman of any race, of any color,
because we Barack Obama would not have been anything without
Michelle Martin Luther King would not have been anything without kredit.
It takes a foolish man to think that he's running
(38:41):
the world because we all know that girls ruled the world.
You know what I mean, as Adam as Adam. Don't
you think Adam did that apple? It was influenced. So,
but I'm just paying my respect to to the women
(39:02):
out here. Whether you're from Seat of Washington, New York City,
ever been in the South. Uh, you got some Southern
roots and some Southern tiers from somebody from mama, grandmama,
grandma's grandma or whatever. You know what I mean. It
was just all those good things that just passed on
down through the jeans and through the years. And now
you're taking it and you're passing the torch. You know,
I mean the mannerism, the love. You know that that
(39:26):
you ladies give us foolish men out here, and everything
that you do to support us, you know, I mean,
because we could not in any kind of way be
who we are without you the neck. The head does
not turn without the neck, the right, no way, no,
(39:50):
you know what I mean. And they take a fool
to think that he's doing it by himself. Right. I love.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I love.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
So I tell the audience, you know, where they can
listen to your music, where they can you know, learn
more about you. So, friends, I just want to encourage
you to check out this song if I love it.
I was like, you know, like that's when I was
a little mad that Seattle wasn't on there or washed him.
But you know it's okay. He said that you know
my family, so that that's good. I'll give him that.
(40:18):
But yeah, tell the audience a little bit about or
like where they could find your music and learn more
about just.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Then, Okay, Apple music, iTunes, just look up just Vince
one Spotify, just Vince one. On on Facebook as just
Vince Music, Instagram, just Vince Music. Those who use TikTok
(40:43):
just Vince music as well. Okay, on YouTube is just
Vince one, you know. But my music is all over
the place. You can just put up. You can put
in just Vince music and everything will pull up also
till you can catch me. You can visit my website
(41:03):
is www. Dotes vincemusic dot com and to pull up
my page and you'll see my music and you see
pictures and you know things like that about reading my
bio and you know, you just learn about me. I
want you to be up close and personal. I want
you to know me. I don't have fans. I call
you family, and I want us to be family. I
(41:27):
don't want to be you know, I don't want to
sign autographs. I want to take a picture which I
want to hug you. I want to be close and
personal because I want to be your.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Friend, be your friend.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Yes, yes, well just then, I am so glad you
came on today and for your yes, for sharing your story,
for sharing your incredible music.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
And so before we say goodbye, any last words, any
shout outs that you would like to do.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
And Wow, man, I'm working with people with big shout
out to the praise factor out of a life out
of Georgia. Man, they're really it's helping me out a lot,
you know. I mean they don't didn't have to do that,
but they're really helped me out a lot yourself. Uh,
(42:14):
Twanda Black Doctor, Teresa Jordan's you know, and the team.
I have not met them yet, but they're really believing
in what I'm doing and it's positive energy, nothing but
good vibes, and I just really, really really appreciate them.
I big up some my man j Style, which is
my producer from the group Black Street with Teddy Raleigh.
(42:37):
Big ups to Mary and Sandy and everybody that has
anything to do with just this and especially those who
follow me and listen to my music. Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much. I promise not to let you down.
I'm gonna do what I can do and everything I
do to be a responsible, mature artist that can bring
you good, clinging music that even your children can listen to.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yes, yes, go check him out, friends.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I listen to his music and it's beautiful, beautiful voice, soulful,
R and b Phil So go check just Vin's out.
So just Fince, thank you so much for your time,
for coming on today, for sharing, and I just want
to encourage you to keep on doing what you're doing,
and thank you for you know, your music, and just
for speaking on your story today.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
So thank you, thank you so much, grace Ley. I
appreciate you having me. Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
We'll see you. We'll see you later. We'll stay connected.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Okay, all right, okay, all right, friends.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Well, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
You heard just Vince his incredible story of how he
went from weeping to warrior and the steps that he
did to lead up to his warrior moment. So I
hope history encouraged you on today. I just want to
say thank you for listening in, Thank you for the
producer of the show, that's doctor Teresa Jordan, Thank you
(44:00):
for if you're listening on today or if you are watching,
I would love for you to hit the light and
the comments. Yeah, type in some comments, share if you're
watching on YouTube or if you are watching.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
While it's streaming. Come back next week.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
We're coming back with new episodes. We're talk about mental
health and like I said, join us in a few
weeks because we're going to have a counselor on and
I'm also going to share my story. So thank you
for joining us, and I just want to encourage you
on today to stay lit, keep shining, and ignite freedom
and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Bybye, sup to.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
Thank you for tuning in too from Weeping to Warriors
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole. To be a guest on
the show, please contact us at info at Roshan Nicole
Wellness dot com. We would love to connect with you,
so please take a moment too, like, subscribe, and follow
us on all social media platforms. We look forward to
having you join us next time for Weeping to Warrior
(45:07):
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole, no shame nor Chang
A crazy no one change, no one change good finding me.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm afraid I'm king with my hands and or.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Ain't nobody, ain't no money stopping me?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hello, my beautiful people, Welcome to the show from Weeping
to Warrior, Igniting for Them with Roshan Nicole, where we
talk about all things mental health, awareness and wellness and
interview amazing guests from all over the world sharing their
incredible stories of how they overcame challenges and what they're
currently doing to maintain their health and their mental health.
(00:42):
I am your host, Roshan Nicole, and if you are
new here, welcome. If you've been following this podcast radio,
welcome back. I am so excited you're here. I truly am.
If you would like to be a guest on my show,
we would love to have you to share your Weekend
to Warrior story. Contact your girl at end at Roshaw
nicolelones dot com.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We would love to have you. If you know my
story back in twenty.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Twenty one, I was in treatment for two months for depression, anxiety,
addiction and PTSD and like I said every episode, you
know that was the best decision and the hardest decision.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Of my life, but I'm so glad that I was
able to do that.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
So if you are suffering, if you're suffering in silent,
I want to encourage you to go.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
And get help, to talk to someone.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
I'm super excited about this podcast because I want others
to also share their story so.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
That you know that you're not alone, and so that.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
You know that there is hope and that there's freedom
and healing on the other side. There is a twenty
four to seven hotline that you can call if you
are a loved one needs support, and that you can
call our text nine eight eight. You can call our
text nine eight eight. All right, friends, So I'm super
(01:59):
excited about our guest today, but you know, before we
bring him out and hear his incredible story, I want
to give a disclaimer.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I am not a medical professional.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I am in a certification program to be a certified
holistic practitioner. So anything that I discussed on this or
future episodes, it's simply what I've done to overcome depression
and anxiety. And also I talk about a trigger born
because we're talking about mental health and there could be
some topics that might be triggering for you. All Right,
(02:35):
my friends. So we are going to talk about a
mental health tip of the week. And you know, I
was thinking, I was like, well, what should I talk
about this week? And so our guest is going to
talk about his story of overcoming trials.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And obstacles and addictions.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
So I thought, you know, why don't we talk a
little bit about addiction, like how you can help someone
if you.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Are a loved one is struggling. And so I have
a couple of things. I'm looking down at my notes
here and I just want to talk about.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
A few things if you know someone who is who
is struggling with addiction. And so the first thing that
I want you to consider and think about is to
be compassionate and to not be judgmental.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Remember, you know that addiction is a disease, and so.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Approach your loved one with empathy, with patience, with understanding,
avoid blaming, and avoid criticism. So being being there and
showing sympathy, showing empathy for your loved one also create
a safe space that they can talk to you.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
So creating that space.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Where you're just listening and not getting act them, of
preaching at them, but having a listening ear and just
listen to.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
What your loved one is sharing and what they are saying.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
If you like, if you are preaching at them, they're
going to tend to want to run away and not
be around you. So being compassionate and having that safe
space so they can share what they're going through is
a great way to help support them. Another thing that
I want to talk about is encourage professional help. Now
(04:18):
I'm going to have on future episodes. I'm going to
have some counselor to come on and talk about other
strategies that you can use if you are a loved
one is struggling, and also talk about different modalities, different
types of treatments, and so I want you to stay
tuned for that, but I want you to think about,
you know, encouraging your loved one with professional help. You know,
(04:40):
addiction is difficult to overcome alone, and so encourage them
to seek professional help, whether if that is therapy, if
that's counseling, that's the rehab. I did E and DR,
which is trauma therapy. We're going to talk about that
in future episodes, and that was so helpful for me.
So there's different types of modalities that could help your
(05:00):
your lovel and we're going to go into more of
that on future episodes. I want you to also think about,
you know, to be patient. Healing comes with time, and
I know when I was going through my process, I
just wanted to just heal and you know, overcome everything
right away. And yes, we tend to want that to
happen for us, but also healing does take time.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
We're not gonna go from A to Z. Healing.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I don't know if you've heard this before, but kaling
is healing is not linear, right. There's gonna be kills
and valleys, highs and lows, ups and downs during that journey.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
So it's gonna take time. Be patient, Be patient.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
And also consider that relapse could possibly happen during that time,
but also be there to support.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Your loved one during that time of going through their
healing journey. So these are just some things that I
want you just to think.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
About and to consider when you're helping someone going going
through addiction. All right, friends, So our special guest is
all the way We're gonna go on the map.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
We're going to Virginia and I want to introduce this yesterday.
I'm really excited.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'm gonna read his bio Vincent widely recognized as Jess Bench,
is a smooth, inspirational R and B artist from New Bern,
North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Whose music is deeply influenced.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
By his church background and the wisdom of his elders.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Starting his musical journey at the age of.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Three, this sound is characterized by its soothing, harmonious approach
to things of.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Love and unity. Let's welcome this warrior king all the
way right now. He resides in North Carolina. Just vin
to the show.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
Girl, you ain't never lie your own horn.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
He Hello, I'm doing well. How are you?
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Just day, I'm doing well. I can't complain. If I
started complaining, I feel it. I started feeling ungrateful. And
today God gave me the strength to get up, you know,
kobing and my right mom brought me home safely. And
that's enough to be grateful for what you think.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Absolutely absolutely, I'm so blind, you know.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Yes, so glad you're here to share.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
We're super excited to have you to come on to
share about your not all your music, but also your story.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
And so Justine, I would love for you before.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
You start on your weekend to warrior story, if you
could just tell the audience who's listening, who's watching, Just
a little bit about who was just then?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
Oh man, it took me a long time to find
out who just Vince is. But just Vince is just Vince.
You know, I was born Vincent Mills Becton, you know
what I mean. But you know, as I grew up,
you know, I'm just old country boy. I'm just sure
your average Joe person. I'm your next door day. I'm
just Vins. I just want to be in Vince. I
(08:02):
don't want to be no more than.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
That, all right, all right, just being you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
And so just Vince, you currently reside, you said right
now in Virginia.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Is that correct, Yes, ma'am. I'm in Virginia by way
of North Carolina, born and raised Newburn, North Carolina, the
birthplace of Pepsicola.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Okay, oh okay, yeah, well great, Well just Vince, I
want us to I would love to hear your story,
you know. And so let me tell the the audience
a little bit about just Vince. I just recently just
started following him. I was recommended by a friend and
(08:41):
and as I was going through his social media, I
was just like very and I was inspired because just
Vince has just been on it just with the posting,
you know, and kind of and sharing his story, and
so I was just like, wow, this is very inspiring
and just your commitment and your dedication to your music
is amazing, and so I just wanted to say that,
you know, before you start share your story. That is
(09:03):
just amazing your consistency and just sharing the public about
your music and your story.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So yes, wow, thank you so much, beloved. I really
do appreciate you following me, and I just appreciate you know,
and what you're giving me. You know, they say give
you a person a flowers while they're alive, but that
you smell, you know what I mean, because you're being
gone from way from here. It does you no good
at all. You know. Man, I've been singing for as
(09:31):
long back as I can remember. I mean like way
back from like they say, from where I'm from in
the country, from kneehigh to a grasshopper, you know. But
I didn't know that that was what I wanted to do.
You know. I got to jump into it quickly because
I know we don't have a lot of time, but
you know, so just bear with me. I I knew
(09:55):
that singing was comfort to me. I come from an
alcoholic family background, and my mother was a severe alcoholic.
Never knew my father, but I understood that he was too.
That was what I was told. And my mom, man,
I tell you she used to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
(10:17):
But it was normal for me to see her like that.
It was scary because out of that. To be honest
with you're not throwing anything on my mom. I love
her immensely. But if I look at you know, the
punishment I got today back then, if I look at
it today, it was call it's call abuse. You know.
(10:38):
So as a five year or three year old kid,
you don't know what she was getting beat for two
weeks ago, right, you know. But I love my mother.
I love her, I love her, and she didn't know
no better. She didn't know any better. She was only
done doing what was done to her, right, you know.
(11:01):
And back then, chess well chest hoising the child is
one thing. Beating the child's another, you know. And I
was getting beaten, and not only that, I was being
picked on. We lived in the projects and we didn't
have money, you know, So my clothes came from the
(11:24):
Salvation Army and my dad was sending money to buy
me clothes. That happened. I mean, she she did that.
You know. My mother took care of me. I loved
my mother and we just didn't have it. So it's
kind of crazy. How you can live in the projects
with children can be really really, really cruel. So you
(11:46):
can live in the projects, but to you, you're poured
in the other kids. But in fact everybody's for you know,
because you wouldn't be living in the projects. So the
children made me feel like I was poor than they was.
So that developed low self esteem, low self work. So
singing to me was a way to escape not you know.
(12:08):
And going back to what I was saying, I was
being abused, which I know that his abuse today. And
I was also being sexually abused, you know, by a
friend of the family. So I was catching hell from bovins.
You know, I wasn't catching it here. I was catching
it then, you know. And it was rough. So going
(12:28):
through school, going through school, School wasn't important to me
even as a child. Survival was. I just want to live,
and I learned how I learned how to survive, live
and manipulate at a very early age because that was
(12:48):
how I made it through. But still God placed that
melody in my heart that when I got in the
mirror and I emulated James Brown with my mother's towel
wrapped around my neck and the brush for the microphone
and James Brown and spinning around like Michael Jackson, I
(13:10):
was free. That you were free the who I wanted
to do. And in the moment, at that moment, you know,
the abuse was gone. If that made any sense to
your phone. Well, I didn't pass the first grade because
I stayed home with my mother because she was always sick,
(13:30):
throwing up blood. I told you she at cirrhosis of
the liver. And that's what I found out later on
in life. And so I didn't pass the first grade.
So again there I go again. The kids are picking
on me, my protective that was abusing me sexually. I
guess that's what the person I was paying for paid,
(13:52):
paying for being protected. And so I didn't know which
way to go, just a kid moving on through high school.
I didn't read well. I didn't. I just didn't read well.
I didn't learn well. You know, I I couldn't grasp it,
(14:14):
you know what I mean? Still, even high school or
throughout the years up to high school. Survival was still
key to me. My grandmother and my mother passed when
I was like eight years old, seven or eight, and
my grandmother started taking care of me. She passed on
when I was about fifteen or sixteen. You know, that
was my other death of another mom. So you got
(14:37):
to understand I was being placed here, there, here, there,
here and there, and it was nothing. It became nothing
strange for me because you know, my attitude was what's next,
you know, So moving on. I ended up not graduating
(15:00):
from high school and I left. I left, went to
New York, and I got the wrong people, you know,
I wanted on. After New York, I felt like I
could start my life over again. Nobody knows me, you know,
and not can be anybody I wanted to d you know,
(15:23):
they're only gonna know what I tell them. But getting
in with the wrong people. They introduced me to crack cocaine,
and I started using that with them, and before you
know it, you know, it wasn't an instant addiction, but
I felt like when I used it the first time,
it didn't hurt me and it didn't kill me. So
(15:43):
I wasn't afraid to use it again. Wrong answer, you know.
I mean I didn't know anything. I didn't know what
crack was, had never heard of it. But I became
addicted to that in New York. It took me through homelessness.
It took me through I quit school, like I said,
and sleeping, running from house to house and dirty, and
(16:07):
you know, no place to go. You know what I'm say,
here's this country boy in New York City. I don't
belong there, but I'm trying to make myself fit in.
So what I was doing was looking for love and
all the wrong places. However, I never lost my faith
(16:28):
in God and who God was to I was taught
at a very early age who the Lord Jesus Christ was,
and I always prayed whether I was doing right or wrong.
You know, God, I was so foolish, God, they said.
I hear older folks say God take care of babies
and foods. Well, at that time, I wasn't a baby. God.
(16:49):
I was definitely your foods. A fool and He kept me, man,
I mean, he kept me many times over. I had
remember sharing something with someone today. I said, if I
was God, I would have killed me a long time ago.
You know what I mean, and that's the reason why
(17:11):
I always throw it up, you know what I mean,
because I know what God has done to me and
so many times, many times over, So I moving on.
I you know, I ended up leaving New York and
I never got help for a drug addiction. Okay, So
I brought the diction back home to North Carolina because
(17:33):
if you know, everywhere you go, you take you with you, right,
that's the only thing. I never never never changed his spots,
the only changes locations. So now I'm bringing this back
home with me. And I was able to subside for
a while, but then of course the diction shows back
(17:53):
up again. For Breshion never dealt with what happened in
my childhood that was still there and getting stealing and
going to prison uh at as a prison sentence for investment,
you know, stealing, you know, because addiction, I have you
doing things that you never thought you would do, that
(18:14):
you weren't There was always always shunned down upon my
family come from. I come from a family of educators
in very middle class people with educations or doctors, lawyers,
teachers and so forth and so on, and so I
wasn't taught that, you know, but I was ashamed of myself.
(18:34):
I didn't know how to get up of what I
was in, you know, and I was sham and nobody
wanted me around because I still I didn't want the embarrassment,
because I was even embarrassed with myself, if it makes
sense it all. I went to five treatments, six treatment
(18:56):
centers and never happened because it never never changed because
the student never showed up. The teacher had already always
been there, you know, but the student never showed up,
or the students had showed up, the student left class early,
you know, because it was everybody else's fault but my own, right,
you know. But you're not responsible for addiction, but you
(19:17):
are surely responsible for your recovery, yes, you know. And
I had to learn. But you know what I had
to do with Shawanda. I had to go back and
revisit somebody I didn't want to meet, and I had
to go back and consult the child.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
And me the child.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah, I'm a grown man. I was a boy. How
they said I was a grown man, But the boy
was in me. I was just walking. I was just
a shelf of the boy. To go back and comprehend
and let him know that it wasn't his fault. He
needed to be free, because when the trauma happens in
your life as a child, that's where you stopped growing and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Styes, it stays there in TI. Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
So I had to go back and I had to
go back, and I had to consult that child, and
I had to let that child know that it was okay,
it's time for you to go. Right, You're free, and
it's going to be all right. You're free to go now.
Nobody else is going to hurt you. And I started
to grow from there, and there wasn't a lot. It
(20:23):
wasn't a fast process. It was a very long process.
And I had ups and downs up down, Yeah, I
was on top of the mountain and then down in
the valleys. I had those but no matter what, I
still didn't pick it up the drugs. Now, I stopped drunking,
drinking and drugging, but I still had that same mindset.
(20:45):
So I had to go at that time and pray
hard and consult God and say Lord, I needed renewing
of my mind, you know. I need you to quicken
me and it renew my mind, you know, because I
need to catch up with who I am now, right,
(21:05):
And not only that I want to love, I want
to learn how to love you know, I want to
learn how to be the person that you made need
to be from the beginning of time, right. And it
started to happen slowly. And when I started, the one
thing I promised God, I said, if you, if you
(21:27):
get me out of this and you'll help me to
get back on my feet, that I can stand on
my own feet, if you will protect me and keep
the devil off of me long enough that I can
get some strength and get back on my feet. I
promise you. Everywhere I go, I'll talk about you. I'll
introduce on God to you, because God would only allow
(21:49):
you to keep in your life with what you give away.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Right, Yes, and allowed to do that.
Speaker 3 (21:54):
And I made that promise to him and I have
not stopped since. Yes. Right.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Wow, Wow, just wow.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
When I'm hearing your story, I hear like a book
or you speaking to you know, children or to young men,
like I could just I could just see that, like
I could see that for you. I don't know if
that's something that you kind of thought about for your future,
but I could just see that for you.
Speaker 2 (22:20):
It's not really.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
You know, I see in my I stee in my lane.
You say, okay, okay, I stay in my lane and
I do what God. You know, one lady told me.
One lady comes to me and she says, the Lord
told me you was gonna be a product of preacher.
I said, well, that's funny because he never told me that.
What he had told me, but he has told me
it was to go and encourage people and show them
(22:45):
how you did it. You know what I mean, how
you did it, and that God has no perspective person,
and what he did for me, he'll do for you.
You know what I mean. But I tell people all
the time I work with God. Girl, I got the
scars to prove it.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah same here. Absolutely that starts to
prove it.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Absolutely. Wold Justine, Wow, no change, don't change the binding
me with hands and or.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Ain nobody ain no money stuffing me, you know me.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Serve to us.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
You show story is very inspiring.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
I want you to talk a little bit more, if
you can, to the audience a little bit about your
your process of going through treatment, if you if you're
comfortable sharing that as far as like what does that
look like like? During that process, like you know, because
like for in my situation, you know, I hit rock bottom,
you know, and then once I hit rock bottom, I
gotta go. And sometimes it takes people multiple times to
(24:06):
hit rock bottom. So like what was your journey hitting
rock bottom and then what was your treatment like when
you were going through that process.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
The rock bottom for me, you know, was knowing where
I come from, Like I tell you, I come from
a family of professional people and more. It's like I
can describe it as the prodigal son being the king
of the child of a king, and you take your
(24:42):
inheritances and you move out and you run out, but
then you gotta you gotta, you gotta crawl back, and
you know, and and asked it to to eat from
the table along with the dogs, you know what I mean,
because you don't feel worthy. My my rock bottom was
within my own self because I was fighting the demons
(25:02):
within myself. And I went to maybe six seven probably
I said five, but I think it's probably a six
or seven treatment centers. And I went there to stop
for now, or I went there to get people back
into my life. You know. I went there with the
(25:25):
intentions of, Okay, I'm here and it's gonna magically work. No,
the seas ain't gonna get planted in the garden unless
you use the dudes. Absolutely, the dudes are there, but
you got to pick them up and use them. So
I didn't want to call anybody at two o'clock and
the morn and say, hey, I feel like I want
to get hot, because I didn't. I didn't want them
(25:46):
to feel like I was weak.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
I mean I was still trying to save my face,
you know. And I was more concerned about what people
thought about me, you know, and living, you know, And
I was like wow. So treatment for me, I went
through like a six or seven of them, and I
never got it. But one thing about treatment, senate that
(26:09):
I realized after I made it through the processes, you
can't put nothing before you put God because you got
to take him in there with you, you know what I mean.
You stole him, you know what I mean. And so
being in those treatments and the last one I went to,
I walked out and I said, you know what, Lord,
(26:32):
I said, I loved me, m hm, but I don't
like me. I loved me because I didn't want to die,
but I didn't like being. I didn't like being around me.
I wasn't good with who I was. I didn't want
I wasn't good with my own company, you know. But
(26:55):
then I had to God turned me. Then God taught
me how to like myself. Okay, you know, because I
love everybody on the face of eve because it's a commandment.
But do I like everybody? So I don't like the way,
you know. And I learned how to like Vance. And
I learned how to be comfortable with Vince, and I
(27:18):
learned how to eventually love this unconditional and embrace what
I happened to me in the past to be a
format to help someone else, because as I just said,
God wouldn't want to allow you to keep in your
life what you've given away. If you want love, you
(27:42):
have to give love. If you want understanding, you have
to be understanding. You know what I mean? If you
want you know how? And it goes on like that,
you know, And and and it really taught me have
to be more tom pathetic and empathetic, passion and compassion
(28:03):
and everything like that. Because I see him watch BINGI
and still crying when he when he's gonna live on him.
I'm trying to tell you I can't. I feel like
a movie I saw you saw a tear.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
H ain't never crying.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
Because but you know what though, I've always had that
Indian right, and I didn't learn how to cry because
yeahs as boys, it's beatn to our mind. Don't cry.
You know, boys don't cry. You've been a punk. That's
the worst thing you can tell.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
A little boy, absolutely, yes.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Telling him not to feel, you know. And that's how
the old older people taught us, you don't try. Only
punks cry, And so I didn't want to be no punks.
I'm not gonna cry, even though I was hurting, you know,
I'm not going to cry. So I learned how to
suppress my feelings. And yes, uh, and it made me
a It made me a unfunctional mm hmm uh grown child.
(29:11):
Mm hmm. Yeah, made me very unfunctional, you know, very numb.
And it's it's it's not fair to tell children not
to cry.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
They didn't need Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, you know you did.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
You did, and you know and you said something too
that I really want to you know, highlight as well.
You know when you're going through the healing process that
sometimes you know, going.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
To treatment the first time, you may need to go
additional times.
Speaker 1 (29:43):
And so I just want you know, I was talking
earlier how healing is, you know, not linear. There's hills
and valleys, you know, ups and downs. So I'm grateful
that you were able to speak on that you did
go and that you know, I had to go a
couple a few more times and then I got it
when I went to step the you know, six or
the seven time, and I knew, like, this is it,
this is what I had to do. And so, you know,
(30:03):
thank you for speaking on on that, because I think
the public needs to hear that healing will take some time.
Speaker 3 (30:10):
So yes, time, and it's like anything else. You know,
two years into the woods, Holend's gonna take you the
walk out of your woods the same amount of time
it took your walk.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Yep. Absolutely, yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
It's not an overnight thing, you know. And it's a
beautiful thing when you get to when you get to
go through the process and you start looking at things
and you're like that you've never seen before. You might
have seen in a thousand times, but it's like it's
new to you, you know, And and that's when you
start to live and you start to feel the presence
(30:44):
of God and you know, and appreciating the beauty of living.
And when you say thank you Lord, you actually really
mean thank you Jesus, because I couldn't have done it without.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
You, couldn't have done it.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
Yes, there's no way.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Yeah, yeah, no way.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
And one more thing that I wanted to kind of
highlight where you were talking about that you had to
go back to your childhood to heal and to move
forward and to break free. And a lot of times,
you know, we're walking around sometimes and we're you know,
we're thinking, like, you know, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine,
not knowing that subconsciously the trauma that you dealt with
as a child or in your past could very well
(31:24):
be affecting you. And so you had to go back
and speak to that child and say, you know, you
are okay, you are safe.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It is not your fault.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
And so I just want to before we talk a
little bit about your music, I want you just to
speak just a little bit about going back to your your, yourcht,
your your your your precious innocent self, and tell us
a little bit about that.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
You know, I've seen a a post on Facebook and
it was this grown man It was really muscular, huge guy,
and he was looking in the mirror, and you should
see your own reflection when you're looking in the mirror.
What he was looking at was the little boy. Yeah,
and the little boy was crying. And that man I
(32:11):
relate that as the story to myself. That man had
to go back and rescue that kid, because that kid
was still there. Although he was looking at the affections
of a kid, he was actually looking at yourself and
going back and confronting that bring up feelings and you people,
you have to forgive in order to free that child,
(32:37):
because they bring up things that you actually really forgot about.
You know. Let's say, let's put it on me that
I actually really forgot about that I suppressed and I said, oh, man,
I remember that, you know. But when I went back
and I pulled those curtains back and I was looking
at that little boy within me, he was crying because
(32:58):
I even cried in the mirror, and I thought, I
didn't know that I really felt this way, you know,
And I didn't take him by the hand and lead
him out of that space, you know, holding him and
consoled him and let him know that, Okay, it's time
(33:20):
for you to leave. You're free to go and take
him to a safe place and let him go because
he needed to be set free.
Speaker 5 (33:31):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
Yes, that's where the trauma started. That's where I stopped
growing emotionally. I was still growing physically, but I was
still going on mostly. And we have a lot of
grown We have a lot of grown boys here still
in the world, you know what I mean. Most of
them are afraid to confront that person because they don't
(33:54):
want to remember what it was like. But you have
to remember what it was like so that you know
where you're going. Yes, yes, yes, that's a destination for
all of us.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So set yourself free from the past
so you can be free in your future.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
Yes, yeah, man, Yes, beautiful, Wow, you have a powerful,
powerful story, and so it takes a lot of vulnerability
and transparency encourage to just you know, share you know,
your story.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
So I just I do want to say thank you
for sharing, because I wanted to transition a little bit
before we say goodbye and talk a little bit about
your music too.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
So but yes, thank you, just Vince for sharing your story.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
And you know, those who are listening out there today,
I hope and pray that his story has encouraged you,
has touched your heart, and if.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
You need to, you know, seek professional help, go and
do it. You know, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
The first step is to admit it to yourself first
and then go to someone else who can support you
in that journey.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
So thank you for sharing that. Just then, all right,
my friend, we're gonna transition just a little bit.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
Uh And yeah, what I want you to give some
advice to those who are listening, who are listening, who
just heard your story.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
What advice would you give to those who are listening.
Speaker 3 (35:16):
M don't be afraid. And if you are afraid, you know,
take the first step, you know, to a better tomorrow.
And it's for yourself, because when even if you're a
grown man and you have a family, when that man
(35:37):
is sick, the whole house it's sick. You know, the
best vice I can give is to thy own self.
Always be true, you know, accept the responsibility. And I'm
not saying you have to accept the responsibility of everybody,
but accept the responsibility of the role that you played
(35:59):
in it. You know what I mean, because everybody has
a different role to play in and families stop co
signing for something that you know that is wrong. If
he's wrong, says wrong. Bible said, let your yas be
ya's and your knaves be knaves, he was. Stick to
that and and seek help, seek treatment. Don't be afraid,
(36:23):
uh to say I don't know. Yes, it's never a
problem with saying I don't know. There is no dumb
answered a question if you don't know, because what you're
wanting to know may very well say if your life
or somebody else's or the child's, your grandchilds, and the
people behind you, you know, because this thing is just biggest,
(36:46):
bigger than us.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
You know, we are.
Speaker 3 (36:50):
We may be a movement by ourself, but we are
a force when we're together that they Yes.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
Yes, absolutely beautiful, beautiful, all.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Right, my friend, we have probably about two to three
more minutes, and so I want, but I do want
you to talk about your song, because that is that
is what you do, my friend. You know a beautiful
singer with a beautiful voice, and I want you to
talk a little bit about your single called Southern Hospitality Girl.
Speaker 2 (37:23):
But before you do, I'm feeling a little.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
Some way about this, Okay, okay, because.
Speaker 2 (37:30):
I was, like I am from Seattle, Washington. I'm not
on this song.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
I know I'm not Southern, but I was like, what
what what do we gotta do to be on on
your on your song? So but anyway, great song, Love
the song, and just speak to the audience about that.
We would love to hear about your your song. Southern
Hospitality Girl.
Speaker 3 (37:47):
Well, first of all, are your mother and your mother
and grandmother? Are they? Do they have any Southern times? Oh?
Speaker 2 (37:55):
Yes, we do?
Speaker 3 (37:56):
Oh yeah, So then you are a Southern hospitality girl
in your blood. It's in your blood. You can't escape
that because your mama learned it from Big Mama, and
big Mama learned it from such as such a person,
you know what I mean. So that includes you two
because what they did they cast down what they learned
to you. So it makes you a Southern hospitality girl
too as well. Southern Hospitality Girls is paying homage to
(38:19):
the women that any woman of any race, of any color,
because we Barack Obama would not have been anything without
Michelle Martin Luther King would not have been anything without kredit.
It takes a foolish man to think that he's running
(38:41):
the world because we all know that girls ruled the world.
You know what I mean, as Adam as Adam. Don't
you think Adam did that apple? It was influenced. So,
but I'm just paying my respect to to the women
(39:02):
out here. Whether you're from Seat of Washington, New York City,
ever been in the South. Uh, you got some Southern
roots and some Southern tiers from somebody from mama, grandmama,
grandma's grandma or whatever. You know what I mean. It
was just all those good things that just passed on
down through the jeans and through the years. And now
you're taking it and you're passing the torch. You know,
I mean the mannerism, the love. You know that that
(39:26):
you ladies give us foolish men out here, and everything
that you do to support us, you know, I mean,
because we could not in any kind of way be
who we are without you the neck. The head does
not turn without the neck, the right, no way, no,
(39:50):
you know what I mean. And they take a fool
to think that he's doing it by himself. Right. I love.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I love.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
So I tell the audience, you know, where they can
listen to your music, where they can you know, learn
more about you. So, friends, I just want to encourage
you to check out this song if I love it.
I was like, you know, like that's when I was
a little mad that Seattle wasn't on there or washed him.
But you know it's okay. He said that you know
my family, so that that's good. I'll give him that.
(40:18):
But yeah, tell the audience a little bit about or
like where they could find your music and learn more
about just.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
Then, Okay, Apple music, iTunes, just look up just Vince
one Spotify, just Vince one. On on Facebook as just
Vince Music, Instagram, just Vince Music. Those who use TikTok
(40:43):
just Vince music as well. Okay, on YouTube is just
Vince one, you know. But my music is all over
the place. You can just put up. You can put
in just Vince music and everything will pull up also
till you can catch me. You can visit my website
(41:03):
is www. Dotes vincemusic dot com and to pull up
my page and you'll see my music and you see
pictures and you know things like that about reading my
bio and you know, you just learn about me. I
want you to be up close and personal. I want
you to know me. I don't have fans. I call
you family, and I want us to be family. I
(41:27):
don't want to be you know, I don't want to
sign autographs. I want to take a picture which I
want to hug you. I want to be close and
personal because I want to be your.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
Friend, be your friend.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (41:37):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Yes, yes, well just then, I am so glad you
came on today and for your yes, for sharing your story,
for sharing your incredible music.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
And so before we say goodbye, any last words, any
shout outs that you would like to do.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
And Wow, man, I'm working with people with big shout
out to the praise factor out of a life out
of Georgia. Man, they're really it's helping me out a lot,
you know. I mean they don't didn't have to do that,
but they're really helped me out a lot yourself. Uh,
(42:14):
Twanda Black Doctor, Teresa Jordan's you know, and the team.
I have not met them yet, but they're really believing
in what I'm doing and it's positive energy, nothing but
good vibes, and I just really, really really appreciate them.
I big up some my man j Style, which is
my producer from the group Black Street with Teddy Raleigh.
(42:37):
Big ups to Mary and Sandy and everybody that has
anything to do with just this and especially those who
follow me and listen to my music. Thank you, thank you,
thank you so much. I promise not to let you down.
I'm gonna do what I can do and everything I
do to be a responsible, mature artist that can bring
you good, clinging music that even your children can listen to.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yes, yes, go check him out, friends.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
I listen to his music and it's beautiful, beautiful voice, soulful,
R and b Phil So go check just Vin's out.
So just Fince, thank you so much for your time,
for coming on today, for sharing, and I just want
to encourage you to keep on doing what you're doing,
and thank you for you know, your music, and just
for speaking on your story today.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
So thank you, thank you so much, grace Ley. I
appreciate you having me. Yes, thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
We'll see you. We'll see you later. We'll stay connected.
Speaker 3 (43:30):
Okay, all right, okay, all right, friends.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Well, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker 1 (43:37):
You heard just Vince his incredible story of how he
went from weeping to warrior and the steps that he
did to lead up to his warrior moment. So I
hope history encouraged you on today. I just want to
say thank you for listening in, Thank you for the
producer of the show, that's doctor Teresa Jordan, Thank you
(44:00):
for if you're listening on today or if you are watching,
I would love for you to hit the light and
the comments. Yeah, type in some comments, share if you're
watching on YouTube or if you are watching.
Speaker 2 (44:14):
While it's streaming. Come back next week.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
We're coming back with new episodes. We're talk about mental
health and like I said, join us in a few
weeks because we're going to have a counselor on and
I'm also going to share my story. So thank you
for joining us, and I just want to encourage you
on today to stay lit, keep shining, and ignite freedom
and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Bybye, sup to.
Speaker 5 (44:47):
Thank you for tuning in too from Weeping to Warriors
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole. To be a guest on
the show, please contact us at info at Roshan Nicole
Wellness dot com. We would love to connect with you,
so please take a moment too, like, subscribe, and follow
us on all social media platforms. We look forward to
having you join us next time for Weeping to Warrior
(45:07):
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole, no shame nor Chang
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