S1:EP11 From Weeping to Warrior-Igniting Freedom with Roshawn Nicole ft Gabby Gonzalez

S1:EP11 Weeping to Warrior-Igniting Freedom ft Gabby Gonzalez

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Crazy, no shame, no chamest, finding me chan with my
hands and Victor Ain Nobody, no mody, stumping me.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello and welcome to this show from Weeking to Warrior
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole, where we talk about all
things mental health, awareness and wellness and we interview amazing
people from all over the world sharing their incredible stories
of how they overcame obstacles and what they are currently
doing to maintain their mental health and their physical health.

(00:40):
I am your host, Roshan Nicole, and if you know
my story, back in twenty twenty one, I was in
treatment for depression, anxiety, addiction and PTSD. During that time
when I was a treatment for two months, I was
writing my music, not knowing that at the time, but
when I left treatment, I shared my story through song,

(01:02):
speaking to schools and different organizations and churches and let
me even know that there is hope and healing on
the other side. So now I have this podcast and
I want others to know that they are not alone,
but there's also hope in healing. If you would like
to be a guest on my future show, I would
love to have you. Hit up your girl at info
at Roshannicole wellness dot com. We would love for you

(01:25):
to share your story. All right, friends, So before we
get into our special guest on today, a disclaimer, Like
I say on every episode, I am not a medical professional.
I will be a certified holistic practitioner soon, but anything
that I talk about is basically due to my experience

(01:47):
of how I overcame anxiety and depression. The same thing
with my guests. They're sharing their stories as well. Also
trigger warning. On this episode and all episodes, we talk
about mental health and mental health challenges, so I just
want to grow that out there as well. A trigger
warning for this and all episodes. All right, So I

(02:10):
do want to go over something today. Each week I
do either a mental health stat a mental health tip,
or a technique, and I want to go over this
is called the five finger breeding technique. And I'm looking
at my notes here so I can make sure that
I'm explaining this right. Because if you are listening in,
I want to encourage you to go to my YouTube
so you can visually see what I'm going to show you.

(02:32):
In just a moment, I thought that this would be
fitting because our special guest that we have on is
an amazing speaker. That's how I met her.

Speaker 3 (02:41):
She was speaking on the stage and she.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Was sharing her story and talking about anxiety and depression.

Speaker 3 (02:47):
And she speaks to students as well as teachers.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
And so this strategy that I'm going to show you
can be helpful for children, but also can be helpful
for adults as well. And this is called the five
finger breeding technique. So I'm gonna show it to you
and explain it as.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
I am walking me through it. So what you're.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Gonna do is you're gonna start by holding up one
hand and in front of you and with your fingers
spread wide apart, and you're gonna use your index finger
from your other hand to trace the outline of your hands. Okay,
So you're gonna so basically you're tracing it, okay. And
as you're tracing, we're gonna start with a thumb.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
You're going to breathe in.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
And when we breathe in, you're gonna use belly breasts
using your diaphragm. You're not gonna use your shoulders. You're
gonna use your diaphragm. So as you're going up and tracing.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
You're gonna breathe in.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
And then when you're tracing down from your your finger,
you're going to breathe out for your mouth. Okay, this
is this technique that is nice because it's visual for sure,
but also deep breathing promotes relaxation and helps to lower
your heart rate.

Speaker 3 (04:00):
It also helps you to distract from the stress that's
going on either in your mind or in your surroundings.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
It helps you to be present, and it also helps
to calm anxiety and to improve focus and also to
center yourself. So I'm gonna do this, and for the
sake of time, I'll just go through a couple of fingers.
But as you are doing this, you may notice when
you get to your pinky, whoa, I'm feeling like I

(04:27):
still need to do some deep breaths. Then you can
come back around from your pinky and retrace going back
to your thought.

Speaker 3 (04:34):
You probably if you're listening, I recommend that you go to.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
My YouTube so you can see this visually. So we're
gonna start with the thumb. We're gonna breathe in, so
we'll do this together, and then remember you're gonna breathe
out bringing through your diaphragm self that start, so you
kin go up we're going up to our index finger.

Speaker 3 (05:02):
And then we're going down ione breathe out. You can
go as fast or as slow as you need to, Okay,
and you can do this as many times.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
So that is the five finger breathing technique that will
help to reduce anxiety.

Speaker 3 (05:20):
Let me know if this works for you in the chat.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Let me know if this works or not, but also
let me know maybe something that you do do that
helps you to relax.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
I would love to hear from you. All right, Hopefully
this is.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
A technique that you can put in your toolbox or
you can also teach your children as well. All Right, friends,
that was the five finger breathing technique. So I'm going
to introduce our special guest on today. Like I said,
I met her back in the fall and we shared
the stage talking about mental health, and I was just
so intrigued and drawn by her spirit, her personality, her

(05:56):
speech was amazing, her story is incredible, and I just
have to have her on today.

Speaker 3 (06:01):
So I'm excited to hear her story and to hear
what she's doing to help the community. So let me
read her bio.

Speaker 2 (06:07):
All right, we have Gabby Gonzalez is an author, educator,
and powerful keynote speaker on a mission to help others
transform pain into purpose. A first generation Mexican American, she
shares her journey of resilience, proving that every setback is

(06:28):
a foundation for an extraordinary comeback. Let's welcome this warrior
queen and she is all the way from Colorado.

Speaker 3 (06:36):
Everyone, Let's welcome Gabby g to the show.

Speaker 4 (06:39):
No, no, hey, Rashan, Hello, I was allrdy breathing.

Speaker 5 (06:52):
I was doing it while it, so, you know, all
good tools that we can have in our little tool Absolutely.

Speaker 3 (06:59):
Have you heard of it before or have I seen it?

Speaker 5 (07:01):
I've heard the breathe like the box breathing, so it's
all kind of similar. But I do like this because
it's it like distracts you. So I think that's the addition,
especially for some people who are all up in here.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
I think that's super helpful.

Speaker 2 (07:15):
Oh yeah, absolutely, yeah, very It's very very helpful, very visual.
So yeah, yeah, yeah, Well, welcome Gabby Ge to this show.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
I'm so glad you're here.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
And just tell the audience a little bit about yourself.
Where do you reside and just a little bit about
you before we get into your story.

Speaker 6 (07:36):
See, I'm from Denver, Colorado.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
I've pretty much was raised here since I was three
years old, so I like to consider this home. And
let's see I right now, I speak to students and
to teachers and you know, sometimes parents depending on the situation,
but talk a lot about mental health and mental illness and.

Speaker 6 (07:59):
Just the strugg that people are going through.

Speaker 5 (08:02):
It's theistic is it's the third le suicide and cost
of deaths for young adults, right, And that's such a
It takes me back so much because we don't talk
about it that often. Right, It's still taboo and in
certain households or certain cultures, you don't talk about pain

(08:22):
in general. Right, it's not even in my story. I
talk about how it's not part of our vocabulary. Like
those kinds of things we just we don't even know
that they exist.

Speaker 6 (08:32):
Right, You keep your mouth shut and you keep forwards.

Speaker 5 (08:35):
It's something I take, I uh take very you know,
like personal all and I think important that we start
to speak about the stuff because so many of us
are struggling with it even if we're not talking about it.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Absolutely, and I'm so grateful that you know our stories
are similar and so like I would share with the
audience that how when you were on stage and you
were talking about depression anxiety, I was just like so
intrigued and just wanted to hear more about you know,
your story, and so I would love for you, you know,
to share with the audience, you know, your weeping story,

(09:09):
because we talk about weeping to warrior, and so I
would love for you to share your weeping story and
then we'll get to your warrior story.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
Okay, beautiful.

Speaker 5 (09:17):
Yeah, So I'm gonna start like from the beginning because
I think.

Speaker 6 (09:21):
It's important to work.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
You know.

Speaker 5 (09:24):
Yes, the fact that session Mexican American. My my family
came here from Mexico. They were undocumented. I know that's
like a political topic right now.

Speaker 6 (09:33):
But it is part of my story. And I think it's.

Speaker 5 (09:37):
Funny because they came here with just the clothes on
their backs. But what they also brought was all of
their trauma, right you name it, brought it with them.
And so growing up with and with family members that
are trying to maneuver through the world not speaking the language,
we understanding what you know, potential they have or possibilities,

(09:59):
are also struggling with the things that has been handed
down to them to them for generations and then they
as their kids, we inherited it.

Speaker 6 (10:08):
So as a.

Speaker 5 (10:09):
Little girl, I grew up in an environment my dad
was an alcoholic and he battled addiction, and my.

Speaker 6 (10:16):
Mom she just kind of battled her own things.

Speaker 5 (10:18):
You know, she worked full time and she just tried
to you know, worked through her own trauma in the
best ways that she could. And again, we didn't have
vocabulary for that, right, What we didn't talk to talk
about trauma.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
None of that was way beyond what we understand.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
Right.

Speaker 5 (10:36):
That's important for me to incorporate because when my youth,
I think about this little girl who.

Speaker 6 (10:46):
Grew up with low selfish, grew up in poverty.

Speaker 5 (10:48):
She grew up and you know, she didn't have the
nice clothes, She wasn't always the nicest smelling kid because
she didn't have people to teach her about hygiene, like
the adults around, because they didn't have the capacity to
be there for because of what they were dealing with.
And so I think about about this little group in
this world and not really having the tools and not

(11:10):
really having the preparation to deal with the things of
the world. And guess what kids are being Okay, there
a lot of a lot of people dealing deal with bullying,
and I uh, you know, mental health or mental illnesses
can start from just that foundation, right, because bullying you
you already feel a certain way if you're a.

Speaker 6 (11:33):
Bully, a bully for a reason, so you're dealing with
your own things.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
So, you know, I grow up, I don't really have
the tools.

Speaker 6 (11:39):
I don't really have the understanding.

Speaker 5 (11:41):
And I remember a lot of times when I was
a little girl, I would have big, explosive, explosive.

Speaker 6 (11:48):
Just moments in my life.

Speaker 5 (11:50):
So you know, I think about this one time I
had to remember if it was my uncle or somebody
told me something, and I remember being so hurt about it.
And when I went into the room by myself, I
like threw a mirror.

Speaker 3 (12:02):
I was like breaking stuff.

Speaker 5 (12:03):
Right, So my emotions, big emotions sensitive.

Speaker 6 (12:07):
I was super sensitive, right, So the.

Speaker 5 (12:09):
World felt so heavy sometimes, and as a young girl,
I had those moments of like, you know, wanting to
take my life or wanting to do something to just
kind of end it because it didn't feel like there
was hope. It didn't feel like I could see beyond
the current situation. So you take this little girl, you
put her into a life where you don't really have parents.

(12:32):
And then my grandmother raised me. She passed away at
a young age. I took care of her and I
was helping her raise my little sister, right, and so
I wasn't able to.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
Be a kid.

Speaker 6 (12:42):
Now I had to grow up prematurely.

Speaker 5 (12:45):
So I'm taking on all these adult responsibilities. I'm going
to work with my family members at like eleven twelve
years old. And then the day that my grandma passed away,
I was in the hospital with her, right, and now
I have you know, you're just tacking on.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
All the trauma, all this stuff. We don't know how to.

Speaker 5 (13:02):
We don't even talk about dealing with it, right. Therapy
doesn't exist. You don't talk to people about your problems.
And even though my dama raised me, so the thing
that she also instilled with me is, hey, you're on
your own and this world doesn't care about you, so
you need to little girl.

Speaker 6 (13:17):
And so you know, that's been a gift and a
curse in a sense.

Speaker 5 (13:21):
But my grandma passed away, I didn't have any adults
really around. And what do you do when you have
a girl with trauma, low self esteem, and you don't
really have an understanding of.

Speaker 6 (13:32):
What healthy relationships.

Speaker 5 (13:34):
Well, this girl finds it in you know, men in
drugs and alcohol, you know, toxic behaviors. And so those
were the ways that I dealt and coped with things.
And you know, I developed an eating disorder, and I
was stealing, and I was getting in trouble with the law.

Speaker 6 (13:52):
I mean, you name it. I was doing it at
a very young age.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
And the one thing that I understood is that if
I'm going to act adult and now to be out
in this world, I better be making money, so I can,
you know, handle my business. So I was at responsible
enough to be doing that. So I kind of just
maneuvered through life trying to survive.

Speaker 6 (14:12):
Really my parents around for the majority of it.

Speaker 5 (14:16):
Like I said, they just didn't have the capacity to
be parents.

Speaker 6 (14:19):
And that's not to knock on them now that.

Speaker 5 (14:21):
I'm looking back, it's like, man, they did the best
that they could with the resources.

Speaker 6 (14:26):
They had, and that was little resources that they had.

Speaker 5 (14:29):
So fast forward, I got married and about twenty three
years old, I met at the time I thought was
the love of my life.

Speaker 6 (14:38):
And we met in January.

Speaker 5 (14:41):
We got together or we officially made like as a couple.
In February. We got engaged in April and got married
in July of twenty seventeen. And the reason I bring
up that relationship is because that's really when things started
to follow it. Like when they say, you know, things
hit the fan, right, I don't want to say the
bad word when it you finally dropped.

Speaker 6 (15:01):
Was so my ex husband.

Speaker 5 (15:03):
He battled addiction as well, and I started to get
to a place where I was like, man, what's wrong
with me? And something something that, something important that addiction
does to us is if you are somebody who deals
with addiction, you become something that you're not right right
later resourceful, I mean, you turn into this completely different person.

(15:25):
And so I felt like I was married to a
stranger and I was having to try and survive that
relationship because he was dealing with.

Speaker 6 (15:33):
That, I didn't even know who I was with. And
so eventually I got I started going.

Speaker 5 (15:37):
To therapy because he said, hey, you're the problem, and
I was like, okay, let me go fix that problem
since I'm the problem. So I was going to therapy
and I was like, hey, I need help fixing me
because obviously.

Speaker 6 (15:49):
I'm the issue.

Speaker 5 (15:50):
My husband says I'm an issue, Like what's my problem,
and months and months later into therapy, she's like, you know,
I understand that you're the problem, but have you ever
thought that there's like mutualness in a relationship. You know,
it takes fifty to fifty, right, And you started to
plant those seeds in me, and eventually I didn't know, well,
I didn't know my ex husband was an addict, but

(16:11):
I knew he was an addict. And then eventually I
found out about that, and like my whole world fell
apart because I thought this man I was going to
be with him for the rest of my life. I
thought all my life was going to be perfect. And
then during the process of being in this relationship, I
also became very successful in my career, my financial career,

(16:31):
and that's also important because I thought that money was
going to solve all my problems. It was a little girl,
like the world told me, girl makes some money.

Speaker 6 (16:42):
And money going to be right.

Speaker 5 (16:44):
And so maybe twenty six years old, I was, you know,
making like almost three hundred thousand dollars a year.

Speaker 6 (16:50):
You know, I was doing fine, right.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
And so I think everything just bubbled up and I
got to a place was like I got married that failed.

Speaker 6 (16:58):
I had to get divorced. I made all this money
that failed. I went on these trips that failed.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
I did all the things.

Speaker 5 (17:06):
I had, the cars, I did all of the the drugs.
So they tell you like, have fun, have the relationship.
I did it all right, and then what now I'm
here and I'm suuper depressed and it's super lonely at
the top because the top, I was awful to so
many people because I was so and so I got

(17:27):
to place where like there was nothing left for me
to do, and so I created a will. I put
everybody's name on it that needed to have something for me.
I found a place for my dogs to go. I mean,
I had it all. And to a friend and I said,
hey girl, I did everything that I needed to do.

Speaker 6 (17:47):
I have a life insurance.

Speaker 5 (17:48):
I have four when my family's going to be fine,
everybody's going to be good. I did what I was
supposed to do in this world. It's time for me
to go, like there's nothing else for me to live
for Clearly I did everything and it didn't it didn't
meet those needs. And she's like, no, that's cute, but
I'm gonna need you to go and ask.

Speaker 6 (18:07):
Then you know, if everything that you asked.

Speaker 5 (18:10):
For the out that do whatever, but I need you
to go and get support for And I was like, okay, So.

Speaker 6 (18:15):
That's exactly what I did. She told me that I got.
I talked to therapists, psychiatrist programs. I was already doing
twelve husband, like I was doing it all all.

Speaker 5 (18:28):
I did an outpatient intensive for depression and anxiety and
suicide like I was doing it all.

Speaker 6 (18:34):
That was like my full my second full time job.

Speaker 5 (18:38):
And so I really reached out for health deal with
some of those you know, I call them demon some
of those chains, some of the stuff that was holding
me so hostage, and beautiful things came from that, right.
So part of part of the part of the difficult
thing of the struggle is you realize how.

Speaker 6 (18:57):
Many people you hurt.

Speaker 5 (18:59):
And so you know what I talked a lot about
is like, yeah, I did all these things, buddy stuff,
and I was taking people out and I was doing
all these great things.

Speaker 6 (19:07):
You know, don't need money.

Speaker 5 (19:10):
The day I was alone because I was a nasty person, right,
nasty and nasty. Nobody wanted to be around me because
I had a bad attitude and I was angry.

Speaker 6 (19:20):
And that was that was a combination right, of like,
well but he let me down. Of course I have
the right.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
Of course I have the right people.

Speaker 6 (19:29):
So you know, money doesn't solve your nasty person and
that's something I too. But I mean, that's that's the
gist story is I just I just.

Speaker 5 (19:40):
Live life so fast, I accomplished and I thought all
those things were going to be the solution that all
what I really had to do was start pretty much
from the inside out.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Wow, Gabby, Wow, Wow, so wow.

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Incredible story. Incredible.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
So we talked about your struggles with you know, when
you were a child and then growing up and then
getting married and then going through the addiction, and then
you're finding all the success and then you're just like,
I'm not happy with then, and so I wow, I
want you to speak to those who are listening today.
You know, what words of encouragement would you give to

(20:21):
those who are listening and who might be going through
you know, maybe they're they're going through addiction, or they're married,
or they're with someone who's struggling with addiction, or maybe
they're just struggling with the little self esteem or depression.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
Yeah, speak to speak to them on today.

Speaker 6 (20:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (20:37):
Yeah, So I think my warrior story is this, Okay,
So you know, obviously, the first thing is I need to.

Speaker 6 (20:44):
Ask other people for help.

Speaker 5 (20:45):
What I tell people all the time is I can't
rely on my own understanding.

Speaker 6 (20:50):
Because here's the thing. Okay, I have a bad track record.

Speaker 5 (20:53):
Okay, twenty some years, thirty some years, I've been relying
on only myself. What I know, my wisdom, what I
think I know. Right, I only relyed on myself for
all that time, and I used to think it was
something that made but right, oh well, I don't need
anybody's help. So you know, an independent woman who don't
need nobody and cool. All looks good on the outside,

(21:16):
but what are you? What are you really dealing with
on the inside.

Speaker 6 (21:20):
And so in those moments.

Speaker 5 (21:22):
I had to take a step back and humble myself
because if I continue to only rely on my understanding,
guess where I'm mounded up in a year, in six
months and five years.

Speaker 6 (21:33):
Who cares?

Speaker 5 (21:34):
If I'm only relying on me, I have a bad
track record, So obviously I'm gonna end up in the
same place. So important thing, and the most like just
life changing thing.

Speaker 6 (21:45):
Is to start surrounding yourself.

Speaker 5 (21:47):
With people who you see not just talking to talk right,
but like walk the walk right and also getting the
support that you need and having the humility to do that.

Speaker 6 (21:58):
Because one of my therapists told me, she.

Speaker 5 (22:00):
Said, uh, therapy those who are weak, it's actually for
those who are brave, because.

Speaker 6 (22:06):
The things that you have to face and.

Speaker 5 (22:08):
Deal with overcome in lit face with someone, Oh have
per see.

Speaker 6 (22:14):
Man, that's hard. And I'm going to be honest, like.

Speaker 5 (22:18):
I feel like the reason that so many of us
use drugs and alcohol and promiscuity and you name it right,
is because we're.

Speaker 6 (22:25):
Too afraid of the pain.

Speaker 5 (22:27):
It is really so difficult to face the things that
you have done.

Speaker 6 (22:32):
It's hard to face.

Speaker 5 (22:33):
The things that people have done to you, whether it's neglect,
whether it's uh, you know, domestic violence, whatever it was.

Speaker 6 (22:42):
Like, it's hard to.

Speaker 5 (22:43):
Face that stuff because you have to open that wound again.
But you can't heal it unless you're actually in there
and putting some you know, rub and alcohol and like
cleaning it out and today.

Speaker 6 (22:53):
Until you do that, it's not going to fully heal.

Speaker 5 (22:55):
So there's this other thing that I say is the
less you talk about it, the more you have it.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
Right.

Speaker 6 (23:00):
So if we keep all these secrets.

Speaker 3 (23:03):
If we keep all of.

Speaker 5 (23:04):
This pain to ourselves, it's gonna rot us. It's going
to rot us from the inside out. And that's what
I was doing, is I was holding so many secrets
and a lot of times I was kind of living
my life in a way that it's going to accommodate
these secrets to keep me in that place of oh,
I'm too scared of dealing with the pain. So I
had to put myself in communities that would be supportive.

Speaker 6 (23:27):
Of my healing.

Speaker 5 (23:28):
I had to also ask for help from professionals, and
to be honest, sometimes the professionals didn't understand. So I
asked help from people who were also going through things
that I was going through.

Speaker 6 (23:39):
And that was a huge, huge thing for me.

Speaker 5 (23:43):
The other thing that you know, really was able to
help me in those moments was have enough humility to
take accountability, right, have enough humility to take accountability.

Speaker 6 (23:53):
For the mistakes that you have made. And you know,
in twelve step recovery groups and you know buy I
mean you there's a lot of things that's a lot yeah.

Speaker 5 (24:03):
About talking, you know, not just saying I'm sorry, but
actually making it change. And my a lot of relationships
that I lost twelve year, twelve months ago, twenty four
months ago are now starting to come back. Not because
they changed, because a lot of times they're the same,
but because I changed and I say, hey, I'm sorry,

(24:25):
I messed up, I did this, I understand that I
did that.

Speaker 6 (24:28):
Oh, and also please tell me what else did I
did I do wrong? Right?

Speaker 5 (24:32):
Because they say communication cures all ills. But we don't
want to even communicate and know that we did something
or we missed the mark. We're going to lose an
opportunity to either menda relationships so you can move on
or bender relationships. You guys could build something even stronger
together and really taking accountability and sharing these things that

(24:55):
I've been dealing with has been such a huge, huge.

Speaker 6 (24:58):
Huge change for me. And you know, I.

Speaker 5 (25:04):
Have been on medication and I have done you know,
all kinds of psychiatric medica.

Speaker 2 (25:10):
Yeah, I was going to say, tell us about, you know,
your healing journey and what you're doing currently now to
maintain your your Yeah, your your mental health and your
physical health.

Speaker 5 (25:20):
Absolutely, so I was on psychiatric medication for the last
four or five years. I've been on like four different medications.
I will tell you this, and I don't want to
give the wrong message, but for me, there was a
lot of side effects and I almost lost the original
person I thought I was years ago, and I had
you know energy, and I had you know this ambition,

(25:42):
and I kind of lost myself for a few years
because what the medication does is it does calm down
the noise, but it also sometimes numbs you out more
than what I felt I needed. And so the other
thing I want to say is the therapists and the
psychiatrist didn't tell me how hard it was to withdraw
from this medication. I tried to withdraw four different times,

(26:05):
and times I fell on my face. And I don't
think they understood that what I was going through, because
I'm not sure.

Speaker 6 (26:12):
They've gone through it right. And so I want to.

Speaker 5 (26:15):
Put that out there because of this is because if
you're on this medication, it is very important to be
if you're looking to wean off of it, to.

Speaker 6 (26:26):
Be slow, like very slow.

Speaker 5 (26:29):
There's some you know, crazy stories out there about people
getting off of it, and you know, bad things happen,
and so I just want people to be careful when
it comes to that because I've tried it. I didn't
understand that that's what the issue was. And so it
took me until this four time that I'm now sixty
days you know, withdrawn from that. But I mean it

(26:49):
was slow, my very small decreases in the dosage. But yeah,
it worked for what it worked, but for me, over time,
once I got to a place where I felt established,
where I had the help, where I had the community,
where I tell people like, hey, I'm weaning off these meds.

Speaker 6 (27:07):
If I go a little crazy.

Speaker 5 (27:08):
Let me go, you know, put me in certain environments
so I can feel safe. And so having that community,
having that group, having those people again being real about
what you're going through, Like, that's what's so important because
we need that. I mean, I believe that God didn't
put eight billion plus people on this earth for us

(27:29):
to do this alone, right, And that's that's one hundred
percent part of my healing.

Speaker 6 (27:33):
I would say. The other thing for me is what
I do.

Speaker 5 (27:37):
So I had to do physical activity and I took
up boxing. I've had a lot of pent up you know. Yeah,
we see young kids like want to get get active
and want to get physical, and sometimes you don't know

(27:58):
how to really direct that energy. And so I believe
like some of these more physical activities is how we
can release some of that in a structured, safe way
versus doing self harm or versus harming other people. So
that's been a huge, huge thing for me is being
able to.

Speaker 6 (28:14):
Go to an old school gym. I got a coach
who you know gives.

Speaker 5 (28:18):
Me a hard time, but I know right yeah.

Speaker 6 (28:22):
And I've done a.

Speaker 5 (28:23):
Couple of starring sessions with other people and girls have
knocked me on my butt, but.

Speaker 6 (28:27):
It's we can't get enough, and we need and again
and the other.

Speaker 5 (28:32):
And I think the last important thing that I want
to make sure I hit on is my faith right
and I know it could be a controversial topic too,
but for me, like if I didn't have something bigger
than myself, not only to live for, but to lean on,
like I promise you, I would not be on today
to talk to you.

Speaker 6 (28:52):
For me has been important. Having a community of people
who pray for me, that's a huge.

Speaker 5 (28:59):
Like I've had people sitting on the phone for hours
to just pray for me and just sit there and
not ask for anything else, but to just make sure
that I have that you know, higher power being to
protect me and for me it's God right. I think
that very important is my face. And like I said,
without it, girl, I would not be here today.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
Oh wow, Gaby.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
And you said something that I want to also talk
about too, because you were talking about medication and you
were saying like, I'm not knocking medication, you know.

Speaker 3 (29:29):
And I don't knock medication because I feel like there
is a time and a place for it.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
And for me, when I was going through treatment four
years ago, you know, that was my transition because I
was getting off of alcohol, getting off of sleeping medication.
So that was for me, you know, I was like
I needed whatever I could just to you know, that
transition transition period. But I did end up just like you,
I did end up being off of everything because I
was like me personally, for me, what works for me

(29:53):
and my body, my body chemistry, because I get every
side effect ever they.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
Name them, I'm like, I have them all right here.
I get it all. So I myself through you know.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
That's why I'm still in the certification program to be
a holistic health practitioner. And so one way is using
natural you know, like you were talking about natural ways
to just you know, to say stable, you know, exercising,
proper diet and food and all of that, and so
I just wanted to speak on that as well for
the audience who is listening where they're just saying, oh,
I don't want to take medication.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Well you may need that. Talk to your doctor. We're
not telling you to get off of it.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
We're not telling you to wan yourself off of it
without a you know, being supervised by your doctor, because
there could be some adverse reactions and so we're not
we're not building that, but speak with them.

Speaker 3 (30:35):
But we just want to just talk about our experience.

Speaker 6 (30:37):
So absolutely, yeah.

Speaker 5 (30:39):
And I want to also mention something rashon and I
think it's important because I didn't understand that until I'm
here now. But there's two things that came up when
I was dealing with the medication stuff. And I think sometimes,
you know, we might not always have all the information
of what medication can do to us, right, and not

(30:59):
even the professionals. And so when I was going through
what I was going through, I had certain professionals, you know,
kind of brush me off and say, hey, you're making
mountains out of molehills, like are you know, are you
really what's really happening, and there was that disconnect, you know,
And so that's why it's also important to say, like,

(31:19):
sometimes you have to fight for the support that you
need because.

Speaker 6 (31:23):
You might get pushed away.

Speaker 5 (31:25):
And for me, you know, I'm I'm grateful that I
had that instinct to be like that doesn't feel right.

Speaker 6 (31:31):
Let me talk to somebody else. And so now I.

Speaker 5 (31:33):
Go through a therapist in Mexico and it's interesting because
I'm able to have a community communication with somebody that
understands the culture, but also like she was able to
help me understand that I'm not just crazy like these
things are. There's actual brain things that are happening, and
you know, we have to be very careful with that
and all sides of it.

Speaker 6 (31:55):
Even if people don't understand.

Speaker 5 (31:56):
It's like we don't really get what people are going
through because in a sense, we don't really underhall the
things that are happening when there are when medication is involved.
So I think that's one and then the other A
thing real quick is you know, if I could have
had more of an understanding, and that's why I think
these conversations are so important, is I would have rather

(32:18):
had them try all options before that option because it
was so hard to get off of them, and so
if I could have had something different, I would have
been open to that first. And I remember being very
clear like I don't want to get on meds because
I dealt.

Speaker 6 (32:35):
With addiction, like I don't want again.

Speaker 5 (32:37):
And so I just say to say, because we don't
talk about this stuff a lot, is like there could
be other options than that, and it's okay to ask
for that as well.

Speaker 2 (32:49):
Absolutely none. Absolutely, So you spoke on you know, you

(33:49):
know God, you know your faith that's helping you to
maintain your mental health, and you talked about, you know,
using healthy coping skills and healthy techniques, and so I
want you to speaks to the audience now about how
does the speaking come into play now as a speaker,
and so, yeah, tell us I want to hear your

(34:09):
journey on that on that yeah totally.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (34:11):
So when.

Speaker 5 (34:14):
It kind of depends on the topic, because mental health
and mental illness can be a little bit of a
touchy subject, and mental health and mental illness are two
different things.

Speaker 6 (34:24):
Right. Mental health is like your state.

Speaker 5 (34:26):
Of be is you either have healthy mental health or
you don't have such great mental health, right, And what
are you doing to help stabilize that.

Speaker 6 (34:34):
And then there's mental illness, which is your diagnosed.

Speaker 5 (34:36):
Anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, you know, all of that's that's where
that bucket is. And so what I do is I
start to incorporate these conversations into the rooms up to
the extent that feels right, you know, because like I said,
it's a touchy subject. So you want to make sure

(34:57):
you have a therapist in the room or you have
counselors in rooms and conversations and so that's really what
it is, is we just depending on the needs of
the school and.

Speaker 6 (35:05):
What's going on with the kids, is we talk about
different topics.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
You know.

Speaker 6 (35:08):
Sometimes it is about, hey, this is.

Speaker 5 (35:11):
What we need to do just to have good mental health.
And sometimes it's like, hey, did you know that this
is a problem? Did you know that these are issues?
Did you know that you know, if you're feeling like
you don't want to get up in the mornings, and
if you're feeling like you know that nothing makes you happy,
that that could be something more than just hey, I'm
just having a bad day. So it's just being able

(35:32):
to have those conversations that incorporate them with kids, with parents,
with teachers. You know, the goal is to have more
conversations with parents because you know, ultimately they're the ones
who kind of control the day to day stuff, and
if parents don't even understand that those are things, they
could a lot of times disregard what's really going on.
And I see that a lot in my culture, in

(35:54):
the Hispanic culture, and I'm sure.

Speaker 6 (35:55):
You might see that in different cultures.

Speaker 5 (35:57):
But you know, we're taught to be tough, right, you
got to toughen up, you got to second up.

Speaker 6 (36:03):
And we don't talk about our trauma.

Speaker 5 (36:05):
We don't talk about our problems, you know, unless we're
gossiping about other people, like, we're not talking about those things, right.

Speaker 3 (36:12):
You know.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
That's my goal is to you know, bring those conversations
and start having them with the parents as well, because
I think that's where a lot of the change can
actually happen.

Speaker 6 (36:21):
And understanding that some of.

Speaker 5 (36:22):
The things that they say to the kids and some
of the ways that they behave with kids is also
sort of making it worse. You know, but we don't
know what we don't know, and so you know, for me,
it's dealing allowing kids to have a space to talk
about those things.

Speaker 6 (36:41):
And also being.

Speaker 5 (36:42):
Able to find tools to overcome the issues that they're
dealing with, because like my story says, right, is, you
can have all the things in the world, but if
you're rotted in here, forget it, none of it's going
to matter.

Speaker 6 (36:55):
And you're going to get to the top.

Speaker 5 (36:56):
And then if you if you don't end up in
a place where you have a revelation like me, you'll
just keep.

Speaker 6 (37:01):
Chasing what's next.

Speaker 5 (37:03):
And now you know, way older, looking back in your
life and seeing, okay, well what was the point of
it all? And you know, the topics too is social
media and.

Speaker 6 (37:13):
How that's affecting right, students and how.

Speaker 5 (37:16):
That's affecting even parents, right, And it's really really really
increasing the anxiety, it's really increasing the the issues with
self worth, right girls, and body dysmorphia. Holy smoke, Like
you think about all the things that social media is doing.
So I do incorporate those conversations as well, and what
I talk about with the kids, And again it's really

(37:38):
just depends on each school. But that's been you know,
kind of what we've most of the time, what we've
talked about, and then there's conversations about you know, how
do we overcome, how do we have resilience and.

Speaker 6 (37:49):
How do we have purpose? Love it beyond all of that.

Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yes, I love it. I love the work that you're doing.
It's are you speaking to it's the elementary, middle, and
high or.

Speaker 3 (37:59):
Do you have specific.

Speaker 5 (38:01):
Yeah, so I would say it's mostly high school.

Speaker 6 (38:06):
The topics are a little bit more difficult, you know,
early college.

Speaker 5 (38:12):
Uh. And then my hopes is to eventually have conversations
with you know, I talk about having conversations with ambitious
young adults, right, and so you know people like me
who had all this ambition, But are we putting it
in the right place? And are we are we taking
care of ourselves so that we can steward our time
here on earth responsibly? So yeah, but the older is

(38:35):
what I'm I don't know if if I can bring
those conversations yet to the younger crowd, but right now
that's sticking with just older so we can be okay
to have those types of topics brought it.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
Yes, we need we need more conversations in schools, in
the community and churches, organizations and needs to be we
need to talk more about it. So I thank you
for your work that you're that you're doing incredible work,
you know, yes, yes.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Yes, so Gabby, I can sit here and just talk
to you because we have so much to talk about
and so much in.

Speaker 2 (39:08):
Common, and I'm just like, oh my goodness, I love
it and just love the work that you're doing. But
I would love for you to, you know, tell the
audience how they can book you and contact you.

Speaker 6 (39:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (39:21):
So my Instagram and Facebook is that Gabby g Speaks.
My website is Gabby Gonzalez Speaks because I couldn't find
a Gabby g Speaks.

Speaker 6 (39:29):
Let'st already take it, Okay, Yeah, it's all pretty close
to you know, my first name, last name, and speaks.
And that's that's the platforms that I really focus on
right now.

Speaker 3 (39:39):
Okay, and just high school?

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Are you also organizations or anything or just particularly just
high school that you're speaking to?

Speaker 5 (39:46):
So right now, that's what I've focused on. But I've
opened too having conversations.

Speaker 7 (39:52):
You know.

Speaker 6 (39:52):
I recently saw a gentleman bring.

Speaker 5 (39:54):
It to a church of gathering and I was a
little surprised about that, and I was like, Wow, so
much and important topic.

Speaker 6 (40:00):
Why are we not talking about it?

Speaker 7 (40:02):
Right?

Speaker 6 (40:02):
So?

Speaker 5 (40:02):
I thought that was very powerful and it's encouraging to
me to be able to bring that as well into
different environments above and beyond just schools. But yeah, like
you know that topic because I was in a mortgage
London industry for years and there were people who passed
away because of you know, the mental health struggle. So again,
you can be successful, you can have money, but I

(40:24):
mean there's stuff people are battling. So I think it's
a relevant topic in any platform, and you know, I'm
open to all of it, but I've just mostly been
focused recently on schools.

Speaker 6 (40:34):
Yes, awesome.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
So, friends, and you heard Gabby and how you can
book her to come and speak, to speak to your
high school or even open it to organizations.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
So please contact Gabby.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
She would love to speak and encourage and share her
story and letting people know that there is hope at
the end of the tunnel, there was light, that there
was freedom. So yes, well, Gabby, before we go, we
have a few more things to do, you know, a
few more questions.

Speaker 3 (41:04):
I just want to ask you if you.

Speaker 2 (41:05):
Want, if you have any last words that you like
to give the audience today, any encouraging words.

Speaker 5 (41:12):
Yeah, okay, so I looked I recently heard this statistic
or statistic scientific fact. I don't know, right, but you
know that us, me, you, you know, anybody in this
world that's alive today, the chances of you being alive
is one in four hundred trillion, Right, Like for a

(41:34):
little sperm to get with the egg and for all.

Speaker 6 (41:37):
Of that to happen and make you and me, that's
one in four hundred trillion.

Speaker 3 (41:40):
Wow. Why do I bring that up?

Speaker 7 (41:42):
Right?

Speaker 5 (41:42):
Because I believe that all of us have a god
given purpose to be here. Right, There's just no way
that we beat the odds. Right, we already won the lotto.

Speaker 6 (41:52):
So uh, you know, my encouraging words is like you
you absolutely have a reason to be here.

Speaker 5 (41:58):
And even though sometimes it might feel like you don't,
and sometimes it might feel like the world is so heavy,
like you know, there are billions of people who are
here that can help support you and love you and
pour into you.

Speaker 3 (42:12):
Right.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
There's this gentleman I used to listen to in a
twelve step recovery group, and he always used to end
his his meetings or his talks he said, if nobody's
ever told you they love you, today, I love you.

Speaker 6 (42:23):
And I remember when he used to say that I
would be like, oh my gosh, he loves me.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
He doesn't?

Speaker 5 (42:28):
All right, so emotional because I didn't really hear people
say that to me unconditionally, and so when you would
tell me that, I would be like what And so
you know, that's also what I want to leave at
the table.

Speaker 3 (42:38):
It's like if nobody's told you they love you.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
Today, I love you right, and don't give up before
the miracle happens, because look at this, we're already miracles.

Speaker 6 (42:45):
We are all what brilliant you know?

Speaker 3 (42:48):
Yes, we are miracles. I did not even know that stat.

Speaker 6 (42:51):
Yeah, it's wild, blows my mind.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
Yeah, one important he said, four hundred trillion, Yes, yes, wow,
love it?

Speaker 3 (43:00):
How Gabby?

Speaker 2 (43:01):
Well, miss Gabby, Well, before we go, we're just going
to play a game just to kind of lighten the
mood just a little bit. Yeah, we're gonna play a
game and also to get to know you. And I
have four questions and these are would you rather And
I'll give you two choices and you're going to share
which one and why?

Speaker 3 (43:21):
Okay, so we'll start with this one. So let's see, would.

Speaker 6 (43:27):
You let me?

Speaker 3 (43:28):
Fine? All right, all right? Would you rather go and
see a comedy show?

Speaker 6 (43:34):
Or a poetry night.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
Oh that's a hard I used to I would have
said comedy back in the day, but I would say
poetry now because what I appreciate about, especially in the
speaking industry, what I really appreciate, is like the poetry,
the poeticness of how people can speak and articulate, like

(43:57):
just being able to create a song, you know, the
ability for you to do that and then put music
behind it and then make it sound good, like, that's.

Speaker 6 (44:04):
Incredible to me.

Speaker 5 (44:05):
Sorry, poetry and then and this is more on the
face side, but Jesus was very poetic, right, A lot
of the scripture, a lot of the.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
Stuff from there.

Speaker 6 (44:15):
My boy was poetic, very artistic. He had it put together.

Speaker 5 (44:20):
Now, so I really appreciate that now, So i'd probably
say poetry, poetry.

Speaker 3 (44:25):
Night, Yes, love it. Okay, I don't know, I probably maybe,
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (44:30):
Yeah, the night, so.

Speaker 3 (44:33):
Okay, all right, So now this one is would you
rather stay in for the night? So whatever you do,
Netflix or whatever, stay in for the night or go
out for the night.

Speaker 6 (44:44):
Oh my gosh, Okay, this is a funny one to
me because here's the thing.

Speaker 5 (44:47):
I will make plans with people to go out and
then I'd be like I changed my mind.

Speaker 6 (44:53):
So I think most of the time is I would
rather just.

Speaker 5 (44:56):
Stay home and be in my comfies and not have
to get dressed. I'm not a girl who wears a
lot of makeup. I don't do a lot of this stuff.

Speaker 3 (45:03):
There's a lot of.

Speaker 6 (45:04):
Work girlfriends, So I will stay home in my family.

Speaker 8 (45:07):
Yeah, no worries, you don't have it. Oh yeah, as is,
thank you all right. So the next one is would
you rather.

Speaker 3 (45:19):
Host dinner and have people come over or would you
rather be a guest for dinner? So go over some house?

Speaker 5 (45:30):
I would say really, So I would say I would
probably host, okay. And the reason I say that is
because I like to be comfortable, right, So if you
go to somebody's.

Speaker 6 (45:44):
House, you might not know what the what the environment is.

Speaker 5 (45:48):
And I also cook from love, so I don't like
to cook in general. But if I'm cooking it because
I'm nurturing, because I'm loving somebody, I could throw down.

Speaker 6 (45:58):
I will cook what you want. So well, I would
say definitely host.

Speaker 2 (46:01):
Okay, host, Yeah, I love it. Okay, one bite me
over and I'll come in okay, okay. And the last one,
this was a fun one. We threw candy in here,
or snickers, Snickers, Snickers, Okay, okay, there's.

Speaker 6 (46:21):
More fun in there, you know. Okay, Snickers, got somes
in there?

Speaker 7 (46:27):
Right?

Speaker 6 (46:27):
All right?

Speaker 3 (46:28):
Love it, loving my friend.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
Well, I also want to talk because I see that
you do have a you're working on a book and
a podcast, so yes, tell us a little bit about that.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
Do you have dates for for both? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (46:40):
So I actually wrote a chapter to book last year
and it was about forgiveness and things of that sort.
So that was kind of my introduction to writing, and
I think it really solidified that I can do it right,
like I can be first generation and also right be
the first to write a book, you know. So that
was really cool. And so now what I'd like to

(47:00):
do is incorporate what I talk about and incorporate it
in a book and make it tangible for students and
you know, different different age groups. So for me, it's
not necessarily just to get my story out there. It's like, Okay,
here's the story, but here's also the lesson and here
are some tools. So that's really what I'm looking to
develop and put together. I have a book coach, so

(47:22):
I'm working with him so that we can get that
set up. I've already started just writing and putting my
story together, so I'm hoping that towards the fall, which
is also when I want to be able to do
another school tour and just get out there and start
you know, promoting the book, but not necessarily for sales.

Speaker 6 (47:42):
Is more so that kids could have something tangible that
they can take with them. Okay, yeah, and then podcast, Yeah,
so I.

Speaker 5 (47:52):
Think it's what I'd like to do is also kind
of incorporate the lessons from that book into the podcast.

Speaker 6 (47:58):
I'd also like to do interview style with folks.

Speaker 5 (48:02):
You know, a lot of times we see interviews of
you know, big people who have done things and aren't
out there and uh, I guess visibly you could see that.

Speaker 6 (48:13):
They're you know, famous in a sense. But I want
to find the people like you and me, sis like
you know.

Speaker 3 (48:18):
Every day people, every day Yeah, from king stuff. We
don't care.

Speaker 5 (48:22):
There's stories, but that's where we get the hope and
the ability to see that we can also do it
even if we don't have you know, two.

Speaker 6 (48:30):
Million followers on intra let us bring to the table as.

Speaker 3 (48:34):
Well, love it. And then your school tour is in
the fall. Is that in your area? And are you
doing in your area class right now?

Speaker 6 (48:41):
Yeah, I haven't really.

Speaker 5 (48:44):
Reached out to any schools outside of the state yet,
but you know, if if it's to come to me, great,
you know, you know you heard.

Speaker 3 (48:52):
Her friends, so my girl, she she'll come to you.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
So yeah, Well, well, I just want to say I
appreciate you coming on and sharing your story and being
vulnerable and transparent and letting others know. I always say
this that there is hope and healing on the other side,
and so I am just so appreciative for you and
your time today. And we're probably gonna have you come

(49:18):
back on and maybe talk a little bit about your
school tour maybe in your book and all the amazing things.

Speaker 3 (49:24):
So I'll probably reach out next season.

Speaker 6 (49:26):
So I appreciate everything you're doing. Thank you for having
these conversations. They're hard, but we need to have them, and.

Speaker 5 (49:33):
So we need we need leaders like you to step
up and to speak out on the stuff that makes
us uncomfortable.

Speaker 6 (49:40):
Right, we can do hard things.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Absolutely.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Thank you for your work and what you're doing, and
I just want to encourage you to keep on keeping
on and keep doing the work and your light is
shining so bright, So thank you. I appreciate it, all right,
miss Gavin, So I will see you later and thank
you for your time.

Speaker 6 (49:58):
So yes, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 3 (50:00):
All right.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Friends, you heard my girl, Gabby, her incredible story. I
hope her story inspired you and encourage you. On today,
and if you are interested in having Gabby to come
and speak to your high school students or a keynote speaker,
a workshop facilitator, professional development our podcast guest, hit up Gabby.

Speaker 6 (50:23):
She would love to be on.

Speaker 3 (50:26):
And I just want to say to everyone, thank you
for watching.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
If you're watching or if you're listening in thank you
come back next week for a new episode. I also
want to give a shout out and thank you to
the producer of this show, and that's doctor Teresa Jordan.

Speaker 3 (50:41):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
Thank you to Gabby for coming on today, Gabby g
and thank you for listening or for watching.

Speaker 3 (50:50):
Come back.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Like I said, I'm going to share my story and
we're also going to have some counselors on to give
some advice and some tips and just follow me on
this journey to let others know that there is freedom
on the other side, so I want to encourage you
on today to stale it, keep shining, and ignite freedom.

Speaker 3 (51:08):
We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Speaker 7 (51:15):
Thank you for tuning in to from Weeping to Warrior
Igniting Freedom with Roshan Nicole. To be a guest on
the show, please contact us at info at Roshannicole Wellness
dot com. We would love to connect with you, so
please take a moment two like, subscribe, and follow us
on all social media platforms. We look forward to having
you join us next time for Weeping to Warrior Igniting

(51:36):
Freedom with Roshan Nicole.

Speaker 6 (51:39):
Shame, Shame,