July 3, 2025 • 45 mins
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Wellness Uncensored is broadcast live Thursdays at 3PM ET Music on W4HC Radio – Health Café Live (www.w4cs.com) part of Talk 4 Radio (www.talk4radio.com) on the Talk 4 Media Network (www.talk4media.com).
Wellness Uncensored Show is viewed on Talk 4 TV (www.talk4tv.com). Wellness Uncensored Podcast is also available on Talk 4 Media (www.talk4media.com), Talk 4 Podcasting (www.talk4podcasting.com), iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, Pandora, Spotify, Audible, and over 100 other podcast outlets.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, and welcome in. We are here at Wellness and
Censor today. I'm excited to be here with everybody. Welcome
back for another exciting show. Each week we come to
you with different ideas and solutions and ways to bring
information to you that you're not always going to hear
or see in the mainstream media. Some of it's very controversial,
(00:55):
some of it is just maybe not interesting enough to
make the headlines, and other things genuinely could be really
helpful for folks, but you know, there's always some bigger
story that weighs out. So today I've kind of got
a grab bag full of tips and tidbits and tools.
I've got some books that I'm going to share and
recommend with you that can be really helpful in your
(01:18):
journey wherever you might be for mental health wellness. You
know you kind of name it's it's a grab bag
of things, and so hopefully if you find some of
the stuff interesting. You can just call or text in
and ask us your questions and we will do our
best to provide some good solutions, answers, and things that
you just might find really helpful for you. And I'm
(01:41):
always big on trying to stir the emotion and stare
ideas in your head, so you know, how often do
you really take time for you This particular podcast was
created after you know it sort of a life and
death experience, you know, one where I came to view
that if I only had a few short days, weeks
or months to live, what am I going to do
(02:03):
with it? And I had a process of healing and
recovery back in twenty twenty and in that journey, my
goal was to make a difference with at least one
person every day. Sometimes I called it the one patient
every day because I spent a lot of time in
hospitals working there in hospital leadership and was also asked
(02:23):
to go back complete my doctoral degree, and I said,
what more can I do than to get involved in psychiatry,
you know, at a doctoral level, And that's when I
ended up finishing my degree with a psychiatric nurse practitioner
and hence where I found not only a new career,
but probably my purpose. And so with the show like this,
when I was asked and given the opportunity come into
(02:46):
you every week, I'm trying to share and show ways
for you to focus on you. The last five years
has created such a stir that I see more and
more people each and every day that, for whatever the reason,
struggle they struggle with such emotion. They struggle with anxiety,
they don't know why they're anxious, They struggle with depressive
(03:07):
thoughts and feelings. And so for all those things, you know,
I try to put together stuff each week that you know,
kind of hits on all different levels, all different areas
of interest and need. Sometimes we talk about herbal remedies,
we talk about supplements. So today it's kind of a
grab bag of things. But I want to express express
(03:28):
a little bit. You know, why is mental health so important?
Why do you have to take just as much care
of yourself, hopefully as you do with your body. You know,
because when you think about it, you drive a car,
you operate a computer, and Lord knows, I am just
so not tech savvy that when I can't get my
computer to work or do what I need, I go
to the computer doctor, and I actually have one called
(03:50):
the computer doctor, and so he helps me out and
he helps with different things when I don't know where
to go and it's something that's related to a program,
you know, sometimes I'll reach out to the pro people,
But at the end of the day, you go to
someone who has more information than you to help you
solve your questions, your problems, and maybe to help give
you ideas for solutions. Right. So, with psychiatry, the mind
(04:12):
is the motherboard, and all symptoms, all things throughout our
body are not just separate entities. If you have a
gallbladder issue, if you have an appendix issue, if you
have an autoimmune issue, if you have a pain or
an ache, chances are you can take it back to
the nerve root, and from the nerve root take it
right up the spinal column to your brain. And there
(04:35):
is definitely a connection. Now to what degree, you know,
it depends on your situation. But I will tell you,
and I guess I'll start kind of with the first
book that I often talk about on here, and I
share it with my trial group all the time. But
it's the body keeps score. The body keeps score. I
don't have a picture to post up. But The Body
Keeps Score is by a person by the name of
(04:55):
Vessel vander Koch. If you just google The Body Keeps
Score on Amazon on it's a pretty easy quick find.
But Bessel van der Kolp is a physician, MD. And
while the first two chapters of this book are pretty technical,
it really paints a picture. And I use this a
lot with people because how many of you out there
(05:16):
have struggled with any kind of situation or issue that
you look back, What would your childhood like from the
earliest moments. I had a person who was adopted and
never really got the feeling and the nurturing of touch
because the mom didn't touch the baby. Didn't you know,
the baby was handed off and the first five days
of life wasn't touched. How deeply do we know that
(05:38):
affects us as adults. Well, there's there's some literature to that,
there's some study to that, and people really have a
lot of good information. What happens if you had, you know,
bullying going on as a child, What if your parents
weren't together, What if you had sexual abuse, what if
you had emotional or physical abuse? Those things shape our
brains and how we deal with things as we get older.
(06:01):
And if you go fast forward to a young adult
and early adult and middle adult life, if you have
symptoms that are causing angst, anxiety, low mood, stress, insomnia,
inability to concentrate, all those kinds of things, there's usually
a route and it's not easy to just band aid
(06:21):
over that. Because you can't concentrate, you must have attention deficit.
I've shared on other shows like attention deficit discovered in
adults is probably less than three four percent of the
adult population. And if you were diagnosed as a kid.
I just recently had somebody in my office the other day,
and while they quickly put her on stimulants and an antidepressant,
(06:42):
it was really the depressive thoughts that came because of
the unstructured families she had without having a father, a
mom who used drugs. Came back and spent time both
at the mom or the dad's and was very disruptive, defiant, argumentative,
got in trouble, had risky behavior. And then fast forward
to adulthood. You know she's like, well, I did use
(07:05):
stimulants as a kid, doesn't mean she had add So
our past really helps us to connect how to fix
our future. Why is mental health so important? You know?
And for mental health, I'll just leave you with a
couple of thoughts. When you work on your mental health,
you can really help to reduce your inner turmoil, your
inner stress, or your anxiety. When you address and really
(07:27):
focus on how to heal yourself emotionally, you can really
have better productivity and you can be more effective in
everything else that you do. When you address things in
your mental health, you can have a more positive attitude,
and you can approach things with a mindset of overcoming
and moving on versus a mindset of a victim and defeat.
(07:49):
And then the last piece of it is when you
focus on your mental health, you can really gain and
grow and incorporate a lot of these things for growth
in personal development. You know, you can develop better habits,
better self care, all those kinds of things. So mental
health is equally, if not more important than physical health.
(08:13):
And I can't say one without the other because physical
health is extremely important. So it's a triangle. And with
the triangle your whole overall body, mind, body spirit. You've
got to nurture all those categories and you have to
train them. You know each one of them needs in cultivation.
Sleep is a big one that I work on with patients. Nutrition.
(08:34):
You know, stop and think what have you had to
eat for the last two or three days, you know?
And if you just start mentally adding up the different things.
Are you finding that you're getting more protein nuts, grains,
and vegetables, or you're having some protein, some carbs, some starches,
some fats, you know, and how much food have you had.
I can't tell you how many times I talk to people.
(08:56):
I don't know how y'all go till eleven, twelve, one
o'clock or later in the day without getting something in
your belly, even if I'm not hungry. I can tell
you the difference in my mental status and my mood
and my anxiety level is far better and better managed
if I at least take some SIPs of protein and
(09:16):
have protein and maybe some water and really fuel the body.
I'm fueling the brain. So that's just something to keep
in mind, and that's kind of where we start. We
may have some time today to touch on some of
how the nutriative substances when we do like ivy infusions
or supplements to the body can be really helpful. But
(09:37):
we'll definitely get to that. Here's a good question for
all of you, you know, how can you cultivate more
balanced thinking? And why I ask that is because oh,
not to be without regard here, but we've got a
new little QRS code. If you happen to be on
(09:58):
your phone and you want to get more information and
especially about Wellness Uncensored my website, you can click on
the link and that will take you directly to Patigilliano
Wellness dot com and on there you can find all
kinds of things. My books are on there, Access to
make an appointment with me is on there, and a
lot of good blogs that we put out there for
(10:19):
just mental health and wellbeing. And some of our shows
are actually listed up on there, so if you want
to see some actual prior shows, you know, we come
to you live like today at three pm Eastern. But
if you can use that QRS code, I'm really trying
to get up with technology, so more power to all
of you that are there. But I'm working on it,
working on a new, new and improved stuff for Wellness Uncensored.
(10:44):
But so use the QR code if it's convenient, especially
if you're if you're stopped at a light, or if
you're parked, or if you're home and you want to
just pull up more information. It's a great rate way
to reach me. We do have some stuff at the
bottom you'll see in the toggle screen. Across there's different
ways to access and email MAGNOI Behavioral Wellness. There's an
office number that you can text. Also, if you have
(11:06):
a question, feel free to text in nine oh four
three seven seven one one nine six And if you
text in, we'll get back with you in twenty four
hours and help help you get more information. But cultivating
more balanced thinking, you know, explore some of these questions
when you think about, you know, how do I balance
my thinking when you start to worry, your fret, when
(11:28):
you start to think about something. We've talked about the
inner and the outer circle. The inner is what do
you really have control over? You have control over this,
your being, your emotions, your movement, all the things that
you just it's about you. But when it goes beyond
that to another person, to a situation, to an organization,
(11:48):
to anything that's outside of your periphery, that's called an
external thing and that's really out of your control in
many ways. But what's the worst thing that could happen.
Whatever your thoughts are, you can go to the worst
case scenario, But how long are you going to stay
in the worst case scenario? You want to acknowledge it,
and then you want to let it go and go
(12:09):
onto what you can control. You know, if you have
that worst case scenario, how likely is it your worst
case scenario is going to happen. I to patient share
something today and she's like, well, I'm getting really anxious.
I'm meeting these people in the fifteenth there's some things
I want to share. They're my best friends. And I said, right,
what's the worst case scenario as well? I'm afraid they
may say I have to think about that, or they
(12:30):
may not like what I tell them. So that's the
worst case scenario, And then how do you prepare yourself
for the worst case scenario? But if you talk about it,
you have a plan, and that's the worst case scenario,
then decide if it's worth doing or not. And if
that worst case scenario is going to propel you into fear, anxiety, distress,
perhaps maybe you shouldn't do it. And some things you
(12:51):
can you can control not doing. Then you have to
also think of what's the best thing that can happen.
So maybe there's something that you're just thinking and thinking
and thinking about, Oh my gosh, what if I don't
get the job, What if I don't get this opportunity?
What if I don't do this? You've got to shift
and go Well, if I'm going to think about the
worst case scenario, you got to bring it back to
the best And then if you leave that thought after
(13:14):
thinking the best case scenario, chances are now you'll feel
more comfortable to move on to something else. You can
also think about when you're trying to be more balanced,
when I've encountered a situation like this before, what happened
and think about it. There is passed in our history.
And if we know that the last time that we
walked across the street in front of moving cars, we
(13:37):
got hit, if we are presented with the same opportunity again,
I know that's dramatic, but kind of simple, then don't
walk out in front of cars. I do have to
tell you out here at the beach this time of year,
I have people crossing the highway. I'm in a car,
they're on foot. The reaction time between foot and a
car is dramatic, the car is usually going to win,
(13:59):
so be and I question. People can't even use good
common sense these days, you know. And while you know
it's kind of humorous, I'm serious, like, really think about
is it worth taking a big risk? Is it worth
doing something that you know probably might not go well?
Really think it through. And then the last two points,
how to cultivate more balanced thinking. That is what we're
(14:21):
talking about on occasions when worries weren't born, you know,
out of the situation. How did it feel, meaning how
did it feel when you didn't worry? How do you
go through each and everything in your day? And if
you're not worrying about each and everything in your day,
put this one thing in that perspective and go, Okay,
what's the worst case scenario, what's the best And don't
(14:43):
give it a lot of energy. If you really don't
need to go about your day, find fulfillment. And the
last thing, think about this because this will tell a
lot about how you think, what kind of a thinker
you are. If it's possible that I'm having this worry
out of habit, what might be a more neutral thought?
And I share that because here's the thing right, do
(15:04):
you worry just because you're used to worrying. It's a habit, right,
We got to break that habit. Nobody needs to worry.
And along with that, we have choices and I want
to share. I think I have it here. Oh about choices.
This is another favorite book of mine. This is the
one by Mel Robbins. You know, I hope one day
(15:25):
I get to be on the Mail Robins show because
I really enjoy her. I talk about her a lot.
But this is the book that she put out. It's
called Let Them, Let Them by Mail Robin's. I don't
know that you'll find this one on Amazon, but it's
pretty easy to look up in order, and I haven't
found any sale prices on it yet, but you know,
Mail Robins kind of puts it all together nicely, and
(15:45):
so again, if you're a reader. I'm not sure if
it's out on audible yet, but you know, the whole
idea is what I'm sharing with you today. There is
a better way to live. We spent the last four
and a half five years rethinking and refiguring out what
our world is like. Here is a lot that we
don't know and we can't control. But what we can
control is ourselves, our thoughts, our energy, our anxiety, and
(16:10):
we need to calm those anxious moments. Down Mail talks about,
you know, there's a better way to live, and it
really teaches a person how to protect their time and
their energy and focus on what matters to you. That's
why we do this show every week. It's a way
to give you a little fast forward to mental and
physical wellness, emotional wellness. So if you don't have time
(16:33):
and you want to read the book, she talks about,
stop giving your power away and create create a life
where you come first your dreams, your goals and happiness
and let them is just another example of a lot
of the stuff that I like to share. But it's
a great book and one of the ones I wanted
to share with you. You know, the body Keep Score
helps you through emotional pain and trauma, and the Let
(16:56):
Them book is just all about finding your best self.
So those the two I want to share for now.
I've got a couple others before we finish up today.
But you know, understanding you, here's the next part. How
do you understand you and you're improving your well being?
How do you make choices and with choices. How do
(17:16):
you sid how do you decide what's perfect and what's
not good enough? You know, do you give yourself a break?
Do you give yourself grace? Do you give yourself the
opportunity to say, yeah, that probably wasn't the best thing
I did, but don't lose sleep over it. Move on.
How many of you look in your rear view mirror daily?
(17:36):
Hopefully many of you don't look in it multiple times
a day, but it's common to sometimes look back. Now,
we can learn from the past, so looking back is
not a bad thing. But when you constantly look back
and do the what ifs, or I could have or
I should have or I wish I did, that's where
you got to break that mirror off and drive, like
(17:56):
Thelman Louise down the road and look what's ahead of you.
If you look at what's ahead, maybe you'll see the sunrise,
maybe you'll see the sunset, maybe you will see the opportunity,
maybe you'll breathe a sigh of relief. But look at
what's ahead. You can't change what's in the past. You
can learn from it, but you can't change it. You know,
(18:18):
focus on not focusing on perfection, focus on there's different
ways you can handle things and maybe the way things
have been handled in the past. You know, you can
change how you do something going forward by learning from
the past. It doesn't mean because you took the long
road and you took a detour that the next time
(18:39):
you go out on the highway you can't take the
shortcut right because you've learned from the past, and you know,
I often tell people to write things down, especially if
you're really stuck in worry and angst and anxiety. It
is very important. You know, the word journal. It's very underrated,
and I brought a few journals because I think some
(19:00):
of them have great little things in there. But you
write down pros and cons, make a list of pros,
make a list of cons. That's one great way to
just kind of oh my god, outline or list things
that could benefit you. Are things that really aren't on
the list, that are too negative, let it go. That
(19:23):
would be the con. Whether you write down pros and cons.
You can even write down things that stress you, you know,
and you can create the journal that I'm going to
write down all the things that stress me so I
can write solutions next to it of things that help me.
Work through those stressors. There's a lot of great ones, especially,
I have to say, if you go on to Amazon,
(19:44):
and I talk about Amazon and Target, there are some
really good ones where you can write. They've already got
like little snippets in there of things, so it's already
kind of pre filled out. And if they're pre filled out,
it's much faster for people that are on the go
and don't have a lot of time. Some of the
ones that I like, I've gotten off of Amazon and
(20:05):
you just put in thoughtful or gratitude journal or great
grateful journal, one of the ones that is about gratefulness.
You know, can you take a minute to write down
how did you take care of yourself today? A good
thing that happened today was something I'm grateful for, and
then summarize the day with one word. It would probably
(20:27):
take you all of not even five minutes to write
in there. But you know what's really cool when you
write your own book. Your journal is your own book.
You can look back and reflect. And I don't know
if you guys have ever done this, but I remember
back primarily in high school. We were a lot of
pen and paperback then, but we had little calendar books
and man, we would put everything in the calendar book,
(20:48):
and in between classes we would write down different things.
We would write down our weekend plans. You know. One
of the things I used to do, I'd go ice
skating in Chestnut Hill, and I'd be putting down Friday
night skating, you know, Saturday night something else. But I
found those calendars and it was so funny to look
back because I remember some of those moments. But if
(21:10):
you create your own journal and use one that's got
some prompting questions, I think you will find great growth
in using a journal and looking back at it month
after month or a year over year, you know. And
that's what's so cool about it is if you do
those things, you're going to start to set your journey,
set the course, and you're going to find that your
(21:31):
days are going to become a lot more fulfilling. I
know for myself, the transition from some of the work
I did in healthcare to private practice and the work
that I do now, and some of the volunteering with
trauma and even going out and sharing my story with
people with my book. We probably should put that up
there too, because I haven't talked about that yet. But
(21:52):
my book is called they call Me Harriet, and in
the book, they call me Harriet. It's on Amazon and
you can find it there pretty easily. Yeah, there it is.
So for those of you that haven't seen it or
haven't heard, it's sort of a personal journal, a personal journey.
And while it exposes a lot of things that the
general public probably would have never known when on during
(22:14):
the pandemic, it gives you good ideas. It gives you
good ideas part of why we're here. So you know,
take a look look at they call Me Harriet. If
you text nine oh four three seven seven one one
nine six, I can certainly help you get that book
and that information as well. But certainly look at Amazon.
(22:35):
You can get it there. And it's also on my website,
so if you do use the QR code, you can
pull it up and order directly from the website. And
you can also if you have questions in the contact
me section, just send a question and I'll get back
with you within about twenty four hours. So look for
a journal. And some people may want to put it
(22:56):
in their car, they may want to put it in
their bedroom, they may want to put in their bathroom.
I find those are the three best places. And if
if you're worried about other people picking it up and
reading it, then use the words to fit the situation
so that only you know what it means. But I
wouldn't not do a journal just because you're afraid somebody
could find it. I think it's very healthy to put
(23:17):
thoughts down on paper. And as long as you're not
detailing a dialogue with another person close to you that
maybe hurt or offended, you know, it's yours, it's yours.
You know, we were kids, we had the one with
the little key. You know, get one with the key
if that's better for you. Here's another a couple of
ways to connect, and I wanted to shift into you know,
(23:38):
how do we find our group? How do we get
some energy? How do we find the fizz? You know,
when was the last time you thought about things? Because
I always ask patients what are your hobbies? You know,
what what does it mean when I say, you know,
what kind of music do you like? Maybe in listening
to music is a good way to get reconnected with yourself.
(23:58):
I know I always get post when I hear something
that's really upbeat. A lot of times I'll do this
with my trauma group on Thursdays, and I'll have them
stand up and move, let's stretch, let's move, and I'll
go so far as to say, let's dance. Put a
fun song on, get the juices flowing, and have them
really just begin to let go a little bit. You know,
(24:20):
the body, the brain, remember it is meant to move.
So if dancing, even if only in your own place,
makes you feel happy. You know, when you hear a
song that brings you joy, move around to it a
little bit. Your body likes the movement. Some people may
maybe more interested in art, but you've got to find
(24:42):
something that you can let your emotions, your creativity, your
feel good side flow. Go to an art museum, or
get some paint brushes, get some colored pencils, whatever kind
of medium you like to use, but rekindle a connection.
I'll use the same connection because my next one is work.
Find a sporting event. Find the way that you used
(25:03):
to interact, maybe on a sports team, or cheering for
a sports team, or going to a game for a
sports team. But what is the power of the sport.
You know, it's exhilarating, it's physical. And if you guys,
remember I know I've talked about this on other shows,
but I found the best way for me to engage
and incorporate activity and working out was if I didn't
(25:26):
find it a chore. And I told y'all my favorite
class in school in grade school was jim and my
favorite activity was recess. And I tell this proudly because
you know, you never know where you're going to go
when you're eight years old, and you never really you know,
when you look back as an adult, you forget to
have fun. So find your sport. And for me, the
(25:46):
pleasure of having recess first thing in the day, it
just starts my day. This morning, I got up, didn't
want to have to go as early as I did,
but you know, my favorite place to work out is
Orange Theory, and it'd gone and killed some classes and
they've changed the types of classes around, so I have
to fit in the class that fits with their schedule,
not mine. So seven fifteen is a bit early for me,
(26:09):
but you know what, it's great because then I can
still see my patients starting at nine. So I went
there first, and that's what I usually do, you know,
Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll go there first and then I'll
start my day that set the tone for feeling good
and it cascades throughout the rest of the day. I've
got good intention, I've got good mindset. I've got good energy,
at least I think I do, and it always centers
(26:32):
me in the chaos. It also grounds me in the pain.
And I use fitness and exercise as a way to
release negative energy and also a way to draw positive energy.
So again, finding your fizz, whether it be music, dance, art,
or sport, those are some ways the other ways you
can find you're getting your groove. About drama? Do you
(26:56):
like to watch drama? Do you like live drama? Have
you gone to the theater? Is it the theater? Is
it a show? Is it ballet? Have you ever experienced
live drama? It's definitely something that can be very enjoyable
and maybe you've never made the time for before. How
about writing? We talked about journaling, but how about writing.
Have you ever thrown your pen down to try to
(27:18):
write a poem? Poems are great because they don't have
to necessarily make sense, but at the same time, the
way you put the words together, it can be a
flow of like a river to you. It can be
something very helpful. The last one. We're going to leave
this one alone. But engaging in a controversial topic, engaging
in something that really makes sense for you that you're
(27:40):
knowledge about it. Maybe it's history, you know, maybe you
want to get into a good dialogue or a debate
with someone. I share the dialogue part because it can
be stimulating, but I don't want it to be upsetting.
But if you can have a good, healthy dialogue with someone,
either engaging in a pro situation, maybe history related, maybe
be religion related, maybe something else, but those kinds of things.
(28:05):
If you have a good friend, someone that you respect,
there is nothing better than sitting down and the hours
could go by. It's like a chess game, and you
speak of the latest current events, or you speak of
a historical thing, or you speak of architecture. I don't
know if any of you engage in the show Ancient Aliens.
It's one My husband tunes into a lot, and you know,
(28:25):
some of the stuff that I listen to, it's interesting.
There are definitely connections that I don't quite understand. But
who thinks this stuff up? Who goes and explores these things?
I mean, these are historians, These are philosophers. These are
historians and you know probably scientists too, so you know,
explore something. So those are the ways that you can
(28:46):
really find your groove, get re engaged, and start taking
a fresh look at yourself. Another area that mental health
is a great place to go to is really looking
at your solitary self. Maybe some of you you are
very comfortable in that aloneness, in that alone time. If
you are, here's the part that I want you to
(29:07):
take the most healthy self care away from. And it's
learning to set limits and boundaries with that quietness, that
solitary self, that isolating self. If you are critical of yourself,
if you are always stressing because you didn't do this,
or you didn't do that, or you should have done this,
(29:28):
or you should have done that, you have to learn
how to turn off the inner critic. You need to
set some boundaries. Maybe you do need to critique something,
Maybe you do need to go back and look at
something that you've done. You know, I'd hate to say it.
If you had, like renovated something in your house and
it's crooked, there may be a reason to do a redo, right,
(29:50):
I get that, But when it comes to yourself and
your thoughts, and how you move about through your life.
Just be careful not to be too harsh on yourself.
That inner critic needs balance. If you do have time
for yourself, make sure you're giving yourself time for compassion.
Where's the sensitivity about you? Where's the sensitivity about things?
That you give yourself a break, let yourself rest. Maybe
(30:13):
there's a day that you just take fifteen more minutes
and just breathe. What about finding the calm? In finding calm,
I often talk to people about really being aware of
your senses. Going outside. Put your feet in the dirt,
put your feet in the sand, put your feet on
the grass, feel the heat, step in the shade, Notice
the difference in the temperature against your body. What do
(30:35):
you hear? Be still? Can you actually hear the birds?
Last night when I was at the office, the sound
of the rain was just so loud and intense as
it came across the front of the building, and I
had a patient in the office, and all of a sudden,
I heard this loud squeakle noise, or like a croak.
It was a frog, And those frogs get so loud.
(30:56):
Just to be still and contemplate is a little creature
making a very big noise. How cool is that? So
find the calm and then along with your solitude self,
your quiet, isolating self, use it as a good introspective
time to also sing. Hum. You're good at humming. There's
(31:20):
some actually good vibrational stuff that hum. Humming like is
very good. To calm and settle your vagus nerve. The
vagus nerve runs from the tip of your brain all
the way down, all the way down your body, through
your spinal cord area, you know, all the way down,
and it innervates and touches your diaphragm, your spleen, your liver,
(31:43):
all those things. That nerve is so profound in mental health,
we often do different skills to quiet and settle the
vegas nerve because a lot of times when people get
stuck in fight or flight or trauma or anything negative
you name it sadness, depression, anxiety, when you can calm
that vegus nerve, and we'll do that in one of
(32:04):
our episodes. We will work on vegus nerve skills and
we can talk more about that too. But look it up.
Look up the vegus nerve and how it affects your
sympathetic compair sympathetic system. But as you hum, that's one
of the skills to kind of settle the vegus nerve.
So humming is great, singing is good. It really affects
the autonomic nervous system. So just a couple of cool
(32:25):
things for you to think about when you work on
your inner cell. One of the other areas I wanted
to talk about was support. I feel like we've got
a we have a thunderstorm, thunderstorm coming in it. All
the brightness that I had in here, now it's a
little dark. I'm glad I've got a light on. But
have you ever just been in a moment in the day.
(32:46):
There is nothing better than being still in the moment
and a storm coming by. You're in traffic, it's a
different story, I get it. But if you're home and
you can enjoy the moment, think about all the activity
that takes place in a really good summer storm. You've
got the human editting a precipitation, the clouds, the thunder
will create the thunder, the lightning where you see blips
(33:08):
of lightning flash across the sky, and then the rain
and the rain comes in a wave or droplets, heavy
light drips, whatever it is. I mean, just think of
the just the energy about it and just how it
goes about the day. Whether you're here or not, it's
going to happen. But talking about this, how to repair
pillars of support? What are your pillars? What is the
(33:29):
support structure for you? What do you think about when
you think about pillars? You know their structures, right, they
support a structure. When you have your pillars, it's a
reinforcement to know that you're settling yourself and trying to
get yourself to a steady state. One of the ways
to settle your pillar is to take responsibility. Know yourself,
(33:52):
know who you are. If you've been busy and you've
neglected things, only you know the list of things that
maybe you've not focused on, our spent the time on.
But let's use that pillar of stability as a responsibility
pillar and reprioritize. Make a list. This is where I
love different list because you can make it your worksheet
for the day, make it a worksheet for the week.
(34:14):
And if you put a visual down in front of you,
it doesn't matter if you check everything off. It just
matters that you are working on it. And why is
it important to make a worksheet because we can get
very consumed and multitasking. It helps us to make a
worksheet so we don't let a lot of things in
that we can't control. And try to really let yourself
(34:36):
only focus on things that are on your priority worksheet.
You have to put some of your ego ish thoughts
by the wayside. Try to not move by ego, but
move by reaching out, especially if you've neglected something, if
you've missed something, be humble. How many of you out
there have thought about have I been humbled today? It
(34:58):
is very easy to react, it's very easy to take
charge for most of us. It's very easy to say, hey,
what are you doing? Doesn't work for me? But be
humble and say, hey, you know what, I'm really so sorry.
I was supposed to reach out to you last week.
I got caught up. How are you doing? When can
we get together to talk about back? So be humble,
(35:20):
but take charge of that and don't let your ego
get in the way of you resetting something. Try to
avoid blame. Blame is one of those things that how
it feels good right, Well, you know they could have
called me, well you know they didn't do this. Well,
you know what about that? You know that's fine, but
is it really taking you back to center? And when
(35:41):
you do these things, all the things we've talked about today,
way to see how it lowers your stress and how
it lowers your anxiety. So avoid blame. And then when
you're in conversation with someone else, maybe it's somebody you neglected,
maybe it's something you're supposed to do, maybe you have
to listen to them say well, well, you know I
was waiting for you last week. Listen, listen, and let
(36:04):
the other person finish. A lot of times we have
people come our way in the day and their triggers
for us. I get that a lot. I get a
lot of things come my way every day. And if
you just augh and listen, then you can quietly and
confidently go I hear what you're saying, and then you
can still share your valid point. But one let the
(36:26):
person finish and listen. We often forget to do this too.
But if somebody's really coming at you, or if you're
in a hot situation, and maybe you're the person, you're
the person who's in the shoes of hell, I'll call
it that. Because everything's going wrong this week Hopefully someone
will do this for you, but if it's not, you
always try to recognize and look at the person and say,
(36:48):
I can't imagine what it's like to be in their
shoes right now. So the way they're acting, the way
they're acting out, we're not going to take it personal.
Allows you to listen, it allows you not to have
your ego in the way, and it also allows you
to go, how can I help you it sounds like
you're having a rough week. Then you become not a
stressor to the person, but a facilitator, and you don't
(37:10):
become stressed because you're not taking on their problem. You're
seeing how you can help someone else. It's always good
to acknowledge other people and let them know how good
you feel about them. So when and where the situation fits,
let them. Let another person know how much you appreciate them.
When you express gratitude and share loyalty, people tend to
(37:32):
take away that shield, take away that barrier, take away
that defense mechanism, especially if you lead your entrance into
a situation and hey, it's great to see you know
you have always been there for me, and I should
have followed up last week. I am so sorry, how
are you doing? You've hit all all four parameters with
that one. Now for yourself, you may have to set barriers.
(37:54):
You may have to set barriers for the people or
the situation that you're in. But do after you've had
the time to listen and reflect, give it the pause,
knowledge how helpful the other person or the situation is.
But do try to set boundaries because if it's in
any one of those ways of a more of a
toxic situation or an unhealthy situation, you can do all
(38:18):
the listening and rewarding and thanking and being humble, but
you may have to set some boundaries, so be sure
you can differentiate between the two. The last couple things,
just try not to take people for granted. And maybe
you've been so busy that you just go, go, go,
and you have these expectations to get all these things done,
and perhaps is it possible you've stepped on a few people.
(38:40):
Try not to take people for granted. And it's a
kind of a golden rule, right. Treat people how you
want to be treated, and then if you support your pillars,
they will become your fortress of how you move forward
in your day. And these are all the things that
are just so important to help bring you back down
to ground, help to de stress, help to calm your anxiety,
(39:03):
and it allows you to live a more fulfilling day,
and hopefully I have more fulfilling life going forward. I'm
going to just touch on a couple other quick things
because we are nearly out of time today. But you know,
do make sure that in your busy day and you're
multitasking and filling out your task list or your planner
of your priorities plan and put on their periods of rest. Okay,
(39:27):
you've got to make a time for a break. And
myself included, you know, I would stack my patients back
to back literally every thirty minutes. What I started doing
was booking them for twenty minutes and giving myself a
ten minute buffer in between to either finish notes, or
to breathe, or to go to the bathroom, or to
have a protein bar or to drink a protein drink.
(39:49):
And I also started putting my patients in a spot
where I could set the time of day that I
was going to do self care because Patty is a
much better person when she goes to Orange Theory than
when she doesn't. Because I just know how I am,
and if I go, go, go, go go, that energy
and positivity can shift into frustration and aggression. So you
(40:13):
have to know yourself. And if you don't learn yourself,
you know learn ways in which you can cultivate a day.
Many of you may say, I don't have time, I
have kids, I have work, I've just got too much responsibility.
You have to start with fifteen minutes a day. If
you can start with fifteen minutes a day, every day,
you'll grow it to a half an hour and you
(40:34):
can get a lot done in a half an hour.
And look, maybe you can't get out to exercise. There's
not one patient I have that can get past me
with an objection. I've got a computer. You've got a computer.
I've got a phone. You've got a phone. You go
on YouTube, you wedge that phone up on the back
of your car and you do a video. You do
(40:55):
a workout video, You dance, stretch, do yoga, whatever takes
physical activity. The physical activity that's mindless is very mentally healthy.
You can do it anywhere. You can do it in
your living room, you can do it in your bedroom,
you can do it outside your car, you can do
it on a lunch break. Now, some people will to
walk around the block of the walk around the building,
(41:16):
a couple of blocks around the building, whatever takes. But
if you don't do that mindless physical work, I don't
care how physical your job is, that's not mindless because
you have to focus. So make sure you take that
physical mental health break for you. And you can't tell me.
I even have one person. I make her do twenty
five jumpin jecks three times a day. Since she's been
doing her twenty five jumping jecks wherever she is. She said,
(41:39):
you know, when I get such a lift, I feel
so much better. And that's what we want you to do,
you know. And I'll leave you guys with some of
this stuff before I jump into the next thing. But
balancing is really the difference. When you put balance into
your life. You may have to get it a little earlier.
You may have to go to bed a little bit later.
You may have to shift your priorities. We have got
to get you you all to ground to center. When
(42:03):
you are balancing, and you're balancing your priorities, always remember gratitude.
When I really stop and think about things to be
grateful for, I really remember what's important, you know, being
here today, being able to do this show. It's a gift.
It's something I never did in my career before, and
it's something that I feel like if I reach one person,
helping a person to make one different choice in their life,
(42:25):
to feel better, do more, think of themselves, how to
de escalate, where to get help when needed, then it's
worth everything you know in the world and wherever you are.
You know, why don't you start by writing some things
down about what you'd like your life to look like
going forward. It starts today and it can be as
(42:48):
quick as today or tomorrow. You don't have to worry
about what happened this morning. You don't have to worry
about what happened last week, last month, last year, or
ten years ago. Starting today is where you go forward
with gratitude. How do you practice it? You know you
breed you be in the moment, Think about your thoughts,
Think about what things could you really say you are
thankful to the universe for thankful to a family member,
(43:11):
thankful to a friend, thankful to an employer. Pick an
area a place that you want to focus on, you know,
maybe it's friendships, maybe it's your physical health you want
to be thankful for. I know that's one of my
biggest things. If any of you could have ever seen
me August to twenty twenty and to where I am today,
there's a really good reason why I'm positive and I
(43:32):
will never let anybody beat me down because I have
a gift that I'm going to really cherish. But allow
yourself to remember some things when you're practicing gratitude that
weren't so good, like that moment for me, and be
thankful and talk about it to yourself. And the last
part of that is to keep a journal in whatever
you do. Just remember the best things in life are
(43:52):
for things that you can have to enrich your experiences
in life and connect connect with others, and these kinds
of things don't have to cost a lot of money.
You know, a lot of the stuff I talked about
today is all about finding yourself, making some list or
making a schedule, not overbooking yourself, being in the moment,
being humble, listening to others before reacting, and taking care
(44:17):
of you. That's what we're about. So I want to
leave you guys with this. Lots more we're going to
talk about next week, but make time for you. You
need to reach us, you can always look us up
on our QR code that's up at the top of
the screen, and you can reach out to me for
questions or any help you might need. You can get
our books there on that website as well, and if
(44:38):
you need to reach us by text, it's nine oh
four three seven seven one one six and look going
into the fourth of July weekend, take the weekend to
find your best self. Give yourself a moment, give yourself
a break, enjoy the moment, enjoy the rich history and
knowing that we have a choice, and our choices we're
going to make today are based on things that we've
(44:59):
learned from the We may not necessarily want to repeat
in the past. The things that we've learned from that
have taken us to great places, we want to recognize
and make moments. Put them in a journal, share them
with your children, share them with others that you love,
make the most of every day. We're here for you
at Wellness Uncensored, and I want to thank all of
you for your listenership and your questions and the folks
(45:22):
that have reached out to us in the past, and
please keep your questions coming we'll be with you next Thursday,
three pm Eastern. I look forward to talk with you
guys and have a wonderful holiday weekend. God bless America
and thanks for all you do. See y'all soon
Any health related information on the following show provides general
information only. Content presented on any show by any host
or guest should not be substituted for a doctor's advice.
Always consult your physician before beginning any new diet, exercise,
or treatment program.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey, and welcome in. We are here at Wellness and
Censor today. I'm excited to be here with everybody. Welcome
back for another exciting show. Each week we come to
you with different ideas and solutions and ways to bring
information to you that you're not always going to hear
or see in the mainstream media. Some of it's very controversial,
(00:55):
some of it is just maybe not interesting enough to
make the headlines, and other things genuinely could be really
helpful for folks, but you know, there's always some bigger
story that weighs out. So today I've kind of got
a grab bag full of tips and tidbits and tools.
I've got some books that I'm going to share and
recommend with you that can be really helpful in your
(01:18):
journey wherever you might be for mental health wellness. You
know you kind of name it's it's a grab bag
of things, and so hopefully if you find some of
the stuff interesting. You can just call or text in
and ask us your questions and we will do our
best to provide some good solutions, answers, and things that
you just might find really helpful for you. And I'm
(01:41):
always big on trying to stir the emotion and stare
ideas in your head, so you know, how often do
you really take time for you This particular podcast was
created after you know it sort of a life and
death experience, you know, one where I came to view
that if I only had a few short days, weeks
or months to live, what am I going to do
(02:03):
with it? And I had a process of healing and
recovery back in twenty twenty and in that journey, my
goal was to make a difference with at least one
person every day. Sometimes I called it the one patient
every day because I spent a lot of time in
hospitals working there in hospital leadership and was also asked
(02:23):
to go back complete my doctoral degree, and I said,
what more can I do than to get involved in psychiatry,
you know, at a doctoral level, And that's when I
ended up finishing my degree with a psychiatric nurse practitioner
and hence where I found not only a new career,
but probably my purpose. And so with the show like this,
when I was asked and given the opportunity come into
(02:46):
you every week, I'm trying to share and show ways
for you to focus on you. The last five years
has created such a stir that I see more and
more people each and every day that, for whatever the reason,
struggle they struggle with such emotion. They struggle with anxiety,
they don't know why they're anxious, They struggle with depressive
(03:07):
thoughts and feelings. And so for all those things, you know,
I try to put together stuff each week that you know,
kind of hits on all different levels, all different areas
of interest and need. Sometimes we talk about herbal remedies,
we talk about supplements. So today it's kind of a
grab bag of things. But I want to express express
(03:28):
a little bit. You know, why is mental health so important?
Why do you have to take just as much care
of yourself, hopefully as you do with your body. You know,
because when you think about it, you drive a car,
you operate a computer, and Lord knows, I am just
so not tech savvy that when I can't get my
computer to work or do what I need, I go
to the computer doctor, and I actually have one called
(03:50):
the computer doctor, and so he helps me out and
he helps with different things when I don't know where
to go and it's something that's related to a program,
you know, sometimes I'll reach out to the pro people,
But at the end of the day, you go to
someone who has more information than you to help you
solve your questions, your problems, and maybe to help give
you ideas for solutions. Right. So, with psychiatry, the mind
(04:12):
is the motherboard, and all symptoms, all things throughout our
body are not just separate entities. If you have a
gallbladder issue, if you have an appendix issue, if you
have an autoimmune issue, if you have a pain or
an ache, chances are you can take it back to
the nerve root, and from the nerve root take it
right up the spinal column to your brain. And there
(04:35):
is definitely a connection. Now to what degree, you know,
it depends on your situation. But I will tell you,
and I guess I'll start kind of with the first
book that I often talk about on here, and I
share it with my trial group all the time. But
it's the body keeps score. The body keeps score. I
don't have a picture to post up. But The Body
Keeps Score is by a person by the name of
(04:55):
Vessel vander Koch. If you just google The Body Keeps
Score on Amazon on it's a pretty easy quick find.
But Bessel van der Kolp is a physician, MD. And
while the first two chapters of this book are pretty technical,
it really paints a picture. And I use this a
lot with people because how many of you out there
(05:16):
have struggled with any kind of situation or issue that
you look back, What would your childhood like from the
earliest moments. I had a person who was adopted and
never really got the feeling and the nurturing of touch
because the mom didn't touch the baby. Didn't you know,
the baby was handed off and the first five days
of life wasn't touched. How deeply do we know that
(05:38):
affects us as adults. Well, there's there's some literature to that,
there's some study to that, and people really have a
lot of good information. What happens if you had, you know,
bullying going on as a child, What if your parents
weren't together, What if you had sexual abuse, what if
you had emotional or physical abuse? Those things shape our
brains and how we deal with things as we get older.
(06:01):
And if you go fast forward to a young adult
and early adult and middle adult life, if you have
symptoms that are causing angst, anxiety, low mood, stress, insomnia,
inability to concentrate, all those kinds of things, there's usually
a route and it's not easy to just band aid
(06:21):
over that. Because you can't concentrate, you must have attention deficit.
I've shared on other shows like attention deficit discovered in
adults is probably less than three four percent of the
adult population. And if you were diagnosed as a kid.
I just recently had somebody in my office the other day,
and while they quickly put her on stimulants and an antidepressant,
(06:42):
it was really the depressive thoughts that came because of
the unstructured families she had without having a father, a
mom who used drugs. Came back and spent time both
at the mom or the dad's and was very disruptive, defiant, argumentative,
got in trouble, had risky behavior. And then fast forward
to adulthood. You know she's like, well, I did use
(07:05):
stimulants as a kid, doesn't mean she had add So
our past really helps us to connect how to fix
our future. Why is mental health so important? You know?
And for mental health, I'll just leave you with a
couple of thoughts. When you work on your mental health,
you can really help to reduce your inner turmoil, your
inner stress, or your anxiety. When you address and really
(07:27):
focus on how to heal yourself emotionally, you can really
have better productivity and you can be more effective in
everything else that you do. When you address things in
your mental health, you can have a more positive attitude,
and you can approach things with a mindset of overcoming
and moving on versus a mindset of a victim and defeat.
(07:49):
And then the last piece of it is when you
focus on your mental health, you can really gain and
grow and incorporate a lot of these things for growth
in personal development. You know, you can develop better habits,
better self care, all those kinds of things. So mental
health is equally, if not more important than physical health.
(08:13):
And I can't say one without the other because physical
health is extremely important. So it's a triangle. And with
the triangle your whole overall body, mind, body spirit. You've
got to nurture all those categories and you have to
train them. You know each one of them needs in cultivation.
Sleep is a big one that I work on with patients. Nutrition.
(08:34):
You know, stop and think what have you had to
eat for the last two or three days, you know?
And if you just start mentally adding up the different things.
Are you finding that you're getting more protein nuts, grains,
and vegetables, or you're having some protein, some carbs, some starches,
some fats, you know, and how much food have you had.
I can't tell you how many times I talk to people.
(08:56):
I don't know how y'all go till eleven, twelve, one
o'clock or later in the day without getting something in
your belly, even if I'm not hungry. I can tell
you the difference in my mental status and my mood
and my anxiety level is far better and better managed
if I at least take some SIPs of protein and
(09:16):
have protein and maybe some water and really fuel the body.
I'm fueling the brain. So that's just something to keep
in mind, and that's kind of where we start. We
may have some time today to touch on some of
how the nutriative substances when we do like ivy infusions
or supplements to the body can be really helpful. But
(09:37):
we'll definitely get to that. Here's a good question for
all of you, you know, how can you cultivate more
balanced thinking? And why I ask that is because oh,
not to be without regard here, but we've got a
new little QRS code. If you happen to be on
(09:58):
your phone and you want to get more information and
especially about Wellness Uncensored my website, you can click on
the link and that will take you directly to Patigilliano
Wellness dot com and on there you can find all
kinds of things. My books are on there, Access to
make an appointment with me is on there, and a
lot of good blogs that we put out there for
(10:19):
just mental health and wellbeing. And some of our shows
are actually listed up on there, so if you want
to see some actual prior shows, you know, we come
to you live like today at three pm Eastern. But
if you can use that QRS code, I'm really trying
to get up with technology, so more power to all
of you that are there. But I'm working on it,
working on a new, new and improved stuff for Wellness Uncensored.
(10:44):
But so use the QR code if it's convenient, especially
if you're if you're stopped at a light, or if
you're parked, or if you're home and you want to
just pull up more information. It's a great rate way
to reach me. We do have some stuff at the
bottom you'll see in the toggle screen. Across there's different
ways to access and email MAGNOI Behavioral Wellness. There's an
office number that you can text. Also, if you have
(11:06):
a question, feel free to text in nine oh four
three seven seven one one nine six And if you
text in, we'll get back with you in twenty four
hours and help help you get more information. But cultivating
more balanced thinking, you know, explore some of these questions
when you think about, you know, how do I balance
my thinking when you start to worry, your fret, when
(11:28):
you start to think about something. We've talked about the
inner and the outer circle. The inner is what do
you really have control over? You have control over this,
your being, your emotions, your movement, all the things that
you just it's about you. But when it goes beyond
that to another person, to a situation, to an organization,
(11:48):
to anything that's outside of your periphery, that's called an
external thing and that's really out of your control in
many ways. But what's the worst thing that could happen.
Whatever your thoughts are, you can go to the worst
case scenario, But how long are you going to stay
in the worst case scenario? You want to acknowledge it,
and then you want to let it go and go
(12:09):
onto what you can control. You know, if you have
that worst case scenario, how likely is it your worst
case scenario is going to happen. I to patient share
something today and she's like, well, I'm getting really anxious.
I'm meeting these people in the fifteenth there's some things
I want to share. They're my best friends. And I said, right,
what's the worst case scenario as well? I'm afraid they
may say I have to think about that, or they
(12:30):
may not like what I tell them. So that's the
worst case scenario, And then how do you prepare yourself
for the worst case scenario? But if you talk about it,
you have a plan, and that's the worst case scenario,
then decide if it's worth doing or not. And if
that worst case scenario is going to propel you into fear, anxiety, distress,
perhaps maybe you shouldn't do it. And some things you
(12:51):
can you can control not doing. Then you have to
also think of what's the best thing that can happen.
So maybe there's something that you're just thinking and thinking
and thinking about, Oh my gosh, what if I don't
get the job, What if I don't get this opportunity?
What if I don't do this? You've got to shift
and go Well, if I'm going to think about the
worst case scenario, you got to bring it back to
the best And then if you leave that thought after
(13:14):
thinking the best case scenario, chances are now you'll feel
more comfortable to move on to something else. You can
also think about when you're trying to be more balanced,
when I've encountered a situation like this before, what happened
and think about it. There is passed in our history.
And if we know that the last time that we
walked across the street in front of moving cars, we
(13:37):
got hit, if we are presented with the same opportunity again,
I know that's dramatic, but kind of simple, then don't
walk out in front of cars. I do have to
tell you out here at the beach this time of year,
I have people crossing the highway. I'm in a car,
they're on foot. The reaction time between foot and a
car is dramatic, the car is usually going to win,
(13:59):
so be and I question. People can't even use good
common sense these days, you know. And while you know
it's kind of humorous, I'm serious, like, really think about
is it worth taking a big risk? Is it worth
doing something that you know probably might not go well?
Really think it through. And then the last two points,
how to cultivate more balanced thinking. That is what we're
(14:21):
talking about on occasions when worries weren't born, you know,
out of the situation. How did it feel, meaning how
did it feel when you didn't worry? How do you
go through each and everything in your day? And if
you're not worrying about each and everything in your day,
put this one thing in that perspective and go, Okay,
what's the worst case scenario, what's the best And don't
(14:43):
give it a lot of energy. If you really don't
need to go about your day, find fulfillment. And the
last thing, think about this because this will tell a
lot about how you think, what kind of a thinker
you are. If it's possible that I'm having this worry
out of habit, what might be a more neutral thought?
And I share that because here's the thing right, do
(15:04):
you worry just because you're used to worrying. It's a habit, right,
We got to break that habit. Nobody needs to worry.
And along with that, we have choices and I want
to share. I think I have it here. Oh about choices.
This is another favorite book of mine. This is the
one by Mel Robbins. You know, I hope one day
(15:25):
I get to be on the Mail Robins show because
I really enjoy her. I talk about her a lot.
But this is the book that she put out. It's
called Let Them, Let Them by Mail Robin's. I don't
know that you'll find this one on Amazon, but it's
pretty easy to look up in order, and I haven't
found any sale prices on it yet, but you know,
Mail Robins kind of puts it all together nicely, and
(15:45):
so again, if you're a reader. I'm not sure if
it's out on audible yet, but you know, the whole
idea is what I'm sharing with you today. There is
a better way to live. We spent the last four
and a half five years rethinking and refiguring out what
our world is like. Here is a lot that we
don't know and we can't control. But what we can
control is ourselves, our thoughts, our energy, our anxiety, and
(16:10):
we need to calm those anxious moments. Down Mail talks about,
you know, there's a better way to live, and it
really teaches a person how to protect their time and
their energy and focus on what matters to you. That's
why we do this show every week. It's a way
to give you a little fast forward to mental and
physical wellness, emotional wellness. So if you don't have time
(16:33):
and you want to read the book, she talks about,
stop giving your power away and create create a life
where you come first your dreams, your goals and happiness
and let them is just another example of a lot
of the stuff that I like to share. But it's
a great book and one of the ones I wanted
to share with you. You know, the body Keep Score
helps you through emotional pain and trauma, and the Let
(16:56):
Them book is just all about finding your best self.
So those the two I want to share for now.
I've got a couple others before we finish up today.
But you know, understanding you, here's the next part. How
do you understand you and you're improving your well being?
How do you make choices and with choices. How do
(17:16):
you sid how do you decide what's perfect and what's
not good enough? You know, do you give yourself a break?
Do you give yourself grace? Do you give yourself the
opportunity to say, yeah, that probably wasn't the best thing
I did, but don't lose sleep over it. Move on.
How many of you look in your rear view mirror daily?
(17:36):
Hopefully many of you don't look in it multiple times
a day, but it's common to sometimes look back. Now,
we can learn from the past, so looking back is
not a bad thing. But when you constantly look back
and do the what ifs, or I could have or
I should have or I wish I did, that's where
you got to break that mirror off and drive, like
(17:56):
Thelman Louise down the road and look what's ahead of you.
If you look at what's ahead, maybe you'll see the sunrise,
maybe you'll see the sunset, maybe you will see the opportunity,
maybe you'll breathe a sigh of relief. But look at
what's ahead. You can't change what's in the past. You
can learn from it, but you can't change it. You know,
(18:18):
focus on not focusing on perfection, focus on there's different
ways you can handle things and maybe the way things
have been handled in the past. You know, you can
change how you do something going forward by learning from
the past. It doesn't mean because you took the long
road and you took a detour that the next time
(18:39):
you go out on the highway you can't take the
shortcut right because you've learned from the past, and you know,
I often tell people to write things down, especially if
you're really stuck in worry and angst and anxiety. It
is very important. You know, the word journal. It's very underrated,
and I brought a few journals because I think some
(19:00):
of them have great little things in there. But you
write down pros and cons, make a list of pros,
make a list of cons. That's one great way to
just kind of oh my god, outline or list things
that could benefit you. Are things that really aren't on
the list, that are too negative, let it go. That
(19:23):
would be the con. Whether you write down pros and cons.
You can even write down things that stress you, you know,
and you can create the journal that I'm going to
write down all the things that stress me so I
can write solutions next to it of things that help me.
Work through those stressors. There's a lot of great ones, especially,
I have to say, if you go on to Amazon,
(19:44):
and I talk about Amazon and Target, there are some
really good ones where you can write. They've already got
like little snippets in there of things, so it's already
kind of pre filled out. And if they're pre filled out,
it's much faster for people that are on the go
and don't have a lot of time. Some of the
ones that I like, I've gotten off of Amazon and
(20:05):
you just put in thoughtful or gratitude journal or great
grateful journal, one of the ones that is about gratefulness.
You know, can you take a minute to write down
how did you take care of yourself today? A good
thing that happened today was something I'm grateful for, and
then summarize the day with one word. It would probably
(20:27):
take you all of not even five minutes to write
in there. But you know what's really cool when you
write your own book. Your journal is your own book.
You can look back and reflect. And I don't know
if you guys have ever done this, but I remember
back primarily in high school. We were a lot of
pen and paperback then, but we had little calendar books
and man, we would put everything in the calendar book,
(20:48):
and in between classes we would write down different things.
We would write down our weekend plans. You know. One
of the things I used to do, I'd go ice
skating in Chestnut Hill, and I'd be putting down Friday
night skating, you know, Saturday night something else. But I
found those calendars and it was so funny to look
back because I remember some of those moments. But if
(21:10):
you create your own journal and use one that's got
some prompting questions, I think you will find great growth
in using a journal and looking back at it month
after month or a year over year, you know. And
that's what's so cool about it is if you do
those things, you're going to start to set your journey,
set the course, and you're going to find that your
(21:31):
days are going to become a lot more fulfilling. I
know for myself, the transition from some of the work
I did in healthcare to private practice and the work
that I do now, and some of the volunteering with
trauma and even going out and sharing my story with
people with my book. We probably should put that up
there too, because I haven't talked about that yet. But
(21:52):
my book is called they call Me Harriet, and in
the book, they call me Harriet. It's on Amazon and
you can find it there pretty easily. Yeah, there it is.
So for those of you that haven't seen it or
haven't heard, it's sort of a personal journal, a personal journey.
And while it exposes a lot of things that the
general public probably would have never known when on during
(22:14):
the pandemic, it gives you good ideas. It gives you
good ideas part of why we're here. So you know,
take a look look at they call Me Harriet. If
you text nine oh four three seven seven one one
nine six, I can certainly help you get that book
and that information as well. But certainly look at Amazon.
(22:35):
You can get it there. And it's also on my website,
so if you do use the QR code, you can
pull it up and order directly from the website. And
you can also if you have questions in the contact
me section, just send a question and I'll get back
with you within about twenty four hours. So look for
a journal. And some people may want to put it
(22:56):
in their car, they may want to put it in
their bedroom, they may want to put in their bathroom.
I find those are the three best places. And if
if you're worried about other people picking it up and
reading it, then use the words to fit the situation
so that only you know what it means. But I
wouldn't not do a journal just because you're afraid somebody
could find it. I think it's very healthy to put
(23:17):
thoughts down on paper. And as long as you're not
detailing a dialogue with another person close to you that
maybe hurt or offended, you know, it's yours, it's yours.
You know, we were kids, we had the one with
the little key. You know, get one with the key
if that's better for you. Here's another a couple of
ways to connect, and I wanted to shift into you know,
(23:38):
how do we find our group? How do we get
some energy? How do we find the fizz? You know,
when was the last time you thought about things? Because
I always ask patients what are your hobbies? You know,
what what does it mean when I say, you know,
what kind of music do you like? Maybe in listening
to music is a good way to get reconnected with yourself.
(23:58):
I know I always get post when I hear something
that's really upbeat. A lot of times I'll do this
with my trauma group on Thursdays, and I'll have them
stand up and move, let's stretch, let's move, and I'll
go so far as to say, let's dance. Put a
fun song on, get the juices flowing, and have them
really just begin to let go a little bit. You know,
(24:20):
the body, the brain, remember it is meant to move.
So if dancing, even if only in your own place,
makes you feel happy. You know, when you hear a
song that brings you joy, move around to it a
little bit. Your body likes the movement. Some people may
maybe more interested in art, but you've got to find
(24:42):
something that you can let your emotions, your creativity, your
feel good side flow. Go to an art museum, or
get some paint brushes, get some colored pencils, whatever kind
of medium you like to use, but rekindle a connection.
I'll use the same connection because my next one is work.
Find a sporting event. Find the way that you used
(25:03):
to interact, maybe on a sports team, or cheering for
a sports team, or going to a game for a
sports team. But what is the power of the sport.
You know, it's exhilarating, it's physical. And if you guys,
remember I know I've talked about this on other shows,
but I found the best way for me to engage
and incorporate activity and working out was if I didn't
(25:26):
find it a chore. And I told y'all my favorite
class in school in grade school was jim and my
favorite activity was recess. And I tell this proudly because
you know, you never know where you're going to go
when you're eight years old, and you never really you know,
when you look back as an adult, you forget to
have fun. So find your sport. And for me, the
(25:46):
pleasure of having recess first thing in the day, it
just starts my day. This morning, I got up, didn't
want to have to go as early as I did,
but you know, my favorite place to work out is
Orange Theory, and it'd gone and killed some classes and
they've changed the types of classes around, so I have
to fit in the class that fits with their schedule,
not mine. So seven fifteen is a bit early for me,
(26:09):
but you know what, it's great because then I can
still see my patients starting at nine. So I went
there first, and that's what I usually do, you know,
Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll go there first and then I'll
start my day that set the tone for feeling good
and it cascades throughout the rest of the day. I've
got good intention, I've got good mindset. I've got good energy,
at least I think I do, and it always centers
(26:32):
me in the chaos. It also grounds me in the pain.
And I use fitness and exercise as a way to
release negative energy and also a way to draw positive energy.
So again, finding your fizz, whether it be music, dance, art,
or sport, those are some ways the other ways you
can find you're getting your groove. About drama? Do you
(26:56):
like to watch drama? Do you like live drama? Have
you gone to the theater? Is it the theater? Is
it a show? Is it ballet? Have you ever experienced
live drama? It's definitely something that can be very enjoyable
and maybe you've never made the time for before. How
about writing? We talked about journaling, but how about writing.
Have you ever thrown your pen down to try to
(27:18):
write a poem? Poems are great because they don't have
to necessarily make sense, but at the same time, the
way you put the words together, it can be a
flow of like a river to you. It can be
something very helpful. The last one. We're going to leave
this one alone. But engaging in a controversial topic, engaging
in something that really makes sense for you that you're
(27:40):
knowledge about it. Maybe it's history, you know, maybe you
want to get into a good dialogue or a debate
with someone. I share the dialogue part because it can
be stimulating, but I don't want it to be upsetting.
But if you can have a good, healthy dialogue with someone,
either engaging in a pro situation, maybe history related, maybe
be religion related, maybe something else, but those kinds of things.
(28:05):
If you have a good friend, someone that you respect,
there is nothing better than sitting down and the hours
could go by. It's like a chess game, and you
speak of the latest current events, or you speak of
a historical thing, or you speak of architecture. I don't
know if any of you engage in the show Ancient Aliens.
It's one My husband tunes into a lot, and you know,
(28:25):
some of the stuff that I listen to, it's interesting.
There are definitely connections that I don't quite understand. But
who thinks this stuff up? Who goes and explores these things?
I mean, these are historians, These are philosophers. These are
historians and you know probably scientists too, so you know,
explore something. So those are the ways that you can
(28:46):
really find your groove, get re engaged, and start taking
a fresh look at yourself. Another area that mental health
is a great place to go to is really looking
at your solitary self. Maybe some of you you are
very comfortable in that aloneness, in that alone time. If
you are, here's the part that I want you to
(29:07):
take the most healthy self care away from. And it's
learning to set limits and boundaries with that quietness, that
solitary self, that isolating self. If you are critical of yourself,
if you are always stressing because you didn't do this,
or you didn't do that, or you should have done this,
(29:28):
or you should have done that, you have to learn
how to turn off the inner critic. You need to
set some boundaries. Maybe you do need to critique something,
Maybe you do need to go back and look at
something that you've done. You know, I'd hate to say it.
If you had, like renovated something in your house and
it's crooked, there may be a reason to do a redo, right,
(29:50):
I get that, But when it comes to yourself and
your thoughts, and how you move about through your life.
Just be careful not to be too harsh on yourself.
That inner critic needs balance. If you do have time
for yourself, make sure you're giving yourself time for compassion.
Where's the sensitivity about you? Where's the sensitivity about things?
That you give yourself a break, let yourself rest. Maybe
(30:13):
there's a day that you just take fifteen more minutes
and just breathe. What about finding the calm? In finding calm,
I often talk to people about really being aware of
your senses. Going outside. Put your feet in the dirt,
put your feet in the sand, put your feet on
the grass, feel the heat, step in the shade, Notice
the difference in the temperature against your body. What do
(30:35):
you hear? Be still? Can you actually hear the birds?
Last night when I was at the office, the sound
of the rain was just so loud and intense as
it came across the front of the building, and I
had a patient in the office, and all of a sudden,
I heard this loud squeakle noise, or like a croak.
It was a frog, And those frogs get so loud.
(30:56):
Just to be still and contemplate is a little creature
making a very big noise. How cool is that? So
find the calm and then along with your solitude self,
your quiet, isolating self, use it as a good introspective
time to also sing. Hum. You're good at humming. There's
(31:20):
some actually good vibrational stuff that hum. Humming like is
very good. To calm and settle your vagus nerve. The
vagus nerve runs from the tip of your brain all
the way down, all the way down your body, through
your spinal cord area, you know, all the way down,
and it innervates and touches your diaphragm, your spleen, your liver,
(31:43):
all those things. That nerve is so profound in mental health,
we often do different skills to quiet and settle the
vegas nerve because a lot of times when people get
stuck in fight or flight or trauma or anything negative
you name it sadness, depression, anxiety, when you can calm
that vegus nerve, and we'll do that in one of
(32:04):
our episodes. We will work on vegus nerve skills and
we can talk more about that too. But look it up.
Look up the vegus nerve and how it affects your
sympathetic compair sympathetic system. But as you hum, that's one
of the skills to kind of settle the vegus nerve.
So humming is great, singing is good. It really affects
the autonomic nervous system. So just a couple of cool
(32:25):
things for you to think about when you work on
your inner cell. One of the other areas I wanted
to talk about was support. I feel like we've got
a we have a thunderstorm, thunderstorm coming in it. All
the brightness that I had in here, now it's a
little dark. I'm glad I've got a light on. But
have you ever just been in a moment in the day.
(32:46):
There is nothing better than being still in the moment
and a storm coming by. You're in traffic, it's a
different story, I get it. But if you're home and
you can enjoy the moment, think about all the activity
that takes place in a really good summer storm. You've
got the human editting a precipitation, the clouds, the thunder
will create the thunder, the lightning where you see blips
(33:08):
of lightning flash across the sky, and then the rain
and the rain comes in a wave or droplets, heavy
light drips, whatever it is. I mean, just think of
the just the energy about it and just how it
goes about the day. Whether you're here or not, it's
going to happen. But talking about this, how to repair
pillars of support? What are your pillars? What is the
(33:29):
support structure for you? What do you think about when
you think about pillars? You know their structures, right, they
support a structure. When you have your pillars, it's a
reinforcement to know that you're settling yourself and trying to
get yourself to a steady state. One of the ways
to settle your pillar is to take responsibility. Know yourself,
(33:52):
know who you are. If you've been busy and you've
neglected things, only you know the list of things that
maybe you've not focused on, our spent the time on.
But let's use that pillar of stability as a responsibility
pillar and reprioritize. Make a list. This is where I
love different list because you can make it your worksheet
for the day, make it a worksheet for the week.
(34:14):
And if you put a visual down in front of you,
it doesn't matter if you check everything off. It just
matters that you are working on it. And why is
it important to make a worksheet because we can get
very consumed and multitasking. It helps us to make a
worksheet so we don't let a lot of things in
that we can't control. And try to really let yourself
(34:36):
only focus on things that are on your priority worksheet.
You have to put some of your ego ish thoughts
by the wayside. Try to not move by ego, but
move by reaching out, especially if you've neglected something, if
you've missed something, be humble. How many of you out
there have thought about have I been humbled today? It
(34:58):
is very easy to react, it's very easy to take
charge for most of us. It's very easy to say, hey,
what are you doing? Doesn't work for me? But be
humble and say, hey, you know what, I'm really so sorry.
I was supposed to reach out to you last week.
I got caught up. How are you doing? When can
we get together to talk about back? So be humble,
(35:20):
but take charge of that and don't let your ego
get in the way of you resetting something. Try to
avoid blame. Blame is one of those things that how
it feels good right, Well, you know they could have
called me, well you know they didn't do this. Well,
you know what about that? You know that's fine, but
is it really taking you back to center? And when
(35:41):
you do these things, all the things we've talked about today,
way to see how it lowers your stress and how
it lowers your anxiety. So avoid blame. And then when
you're in conversation with someone else, maybe it's somebody you neglected,
maybe it's something you're supposed to do, maybe you have
to listen to them say well, well, you know I
was waiting for you last week. Listen, listen, and let
(36:04):
the other person finish. A lot of times we have
people come our way in the day and their triggers
for us. I get that a lot. I get a
lot of things come my way every day. And if
you just augh and listen, then you can quietly and
confidently go I hear what you're saying, and then you
can still share your valid point. But one let the
(36:26):
person finish and listen. We often forget to do this too.
But if somebody's really coming at you, or if you're
in a hot situation, and maybe you're the person, you're
the person who's in the shoes of hell, I'll call
it that. Because everything's going wrong this week Hopefully someone
will do this for you, but if it's not, you
always try to recognize and look at the person and say,
(36:48):
I can't imagine what it's like to be in their
shoes right now. So the way they're acting, the way
they're acting out, we're not going to take it personal.
Allows you to listen, it allows you not to have
your ego in the way, and it also allows you
to go, how can I help you it sounds like
you're having a rough week. Then you become not a
stressor to the person, but a facilitator, and you don't
(37:10):
become stressed because you're not taking on their problem. You're
seeing how you can help someone else. It's always good
to acknowledge other people and let them know how good
you feel about them. So when and where the situation fits,
let them. Let another person know how much you appreciate them.
When you express gratitude and share loyalty, people tend to
(37:32):
take away that shield, take away that barrier, take away
that defense mechanism, especially if you lead your entrance into
a situation and hey, it's great to see you know
you have always been there for me, and I should
have followed up last week. I am so sorry, how
are you doing? You've hit all all four parameters with
that one. Now for yourself, you may have to set barriers.
(37:54):
You may have to set barriers for the people or
the situation that you're in. But do after you've had
the time to listen and reflect, give it the pause,
knowledge how helpful the other person or the situation is.
But do try to set boundaries because if it's in
any one of those ways of a more of a
toxic situation or an unhealthy situation, you can do all
(38:18):
the listening and rewarding and thanking and being humble, but
you may have to set some boundaries, so be sure
you can differentiate between the two. The last couple things,
just try not to take people for granted. And maybe
you've been so busy that you just go, go, go,
and you have these expectations to get all these things done,
and perhaps is it possible you've stepped on a few people.
(38:40):
Try not to take people for granted. And it's a
kind of a golden rule, right. Treat people how you
want to be treated, and then if you support your pillars,
they will become your fortress of how you move forward
in your day. And these are all the things that
are just so important to help bring you back down
to ground, help to de stress, help to calm your anxiety,
(39:03):
and it allows you to live a more fulfilling day,
and hopefully I have more fulfilling life going forward. I'm
going to just touch on a couple other quick things
because we are nearly out of time today. But you know,
do make sure that in your busy day and you're
multitasking and filling out your task list or your planner
of your priorities plan and put on their periods of rest. Okay,
(39:27):
you've got to make a time for a break. And
myself included, you know, I would stack my patients back
to back literally every thirty minutes. What I started doing
was booking them for twenty minutes and giving myself a
ten minute buffer in between to either finish notes, or
to breathe, or to go to the bathroom, or to
have a protein bar or to drink a protein drink.
(39:49):
And I also started putting my patients in a spot
where I could set the time of day that I
was going to do self care because Patty is a
much better person when she goes to Orange Theory than
when she doesn't. Because I just know how I am,
and if I go, go, go, go go, that energy
and positivity can shift into frustration and aggression. So you
(40:13):
have to know yourself. And if you don't learn yourself,
you know learn ways in which you can cultivate a day.
Many of you may say, I don't have time, I
have kids, I have work, I've just got too much responsibility.
You have to start with fifteen minutes a day. If
you can start with fifteen minutes a day, every day,
you'll grow it to a half an hour and you
(40:34):
can get a lot done in a half an hour.
And look, maybe you can't get out to exercise. There's
not one patient I have that can get past me
with an objection. I've got a computer. You've got a computer.
I've got a phone. You've got a phone. You go
on YouTube, you wedge that phone up on the back
of your car and you do a video. You do
(40:55):
a workout video, You dance, stretch, do yoga, whatever takes
physical activity. The physical activity that's mindless is very mentally healthy.
You can do it anywhere. You can do it in
your living room, you can do it in your bedroom,
you can do it outside your car, you can do
it on a lunch break. Now, some people will to
walk around the block of the walk around the building,
(41:16):
a couple of blocks around the building, whatever takes. But
if you don't do that mindless physical work, I don't
care how physical your job is, that's not mindless because
you have to focus. So make sure you take that
physical mental health break for you. And you can't tell me.
I even have one person. I make her do twenty
five jumpin jecks three times a day. Since she's been
doing her twenty five jumping jecks wherever she is. She said,
(41:39):
you know, when I get such a lift, I feel
so much better. And that's what we want you to do,
you know. And I'll leave you guys with some of
this stuff before I jump into the next thing. But
balancing is really the difference. When you put balance into
your life. You may have to get it a little earlier.
You may have to go to bed a little bit later.
You may have to shift your priorities. We have got
to get you you all to ground to center. When
(42:03):
you are balancing, and you're balancing your priorities, always remember gratitude.
When I really stop and think about things to be
grateful for, I really remember what's important, you know, being
here today, being able to do this show. It's a gift.
It's something I never did in my career before, and
it's something that I feel like if I reach one person,
helping a person to make one different choice in their life,
(42:25):
to feel better, do more, think of themselves, how to
de escalate, where to get help when needed, then it's
worth everything you know in the world and wherever you are.
You know, why don't you start by writing some things
down about what you'd like your life to look like
going forward. It starts today and it can be as
(42:48):
quick as today or tomorrow. You don't have to worry
about what happened this morning. You don't have to worry
about what happened last week, last month, last year, or
ten years ago. Starting today is where you go forward
with gratitude. How do you practice it? You know you
breed you be in the moment, Think about your thoughts,
Think about what things could you really say you are
thankful to the universe for thankful to a family member,
(43:11):
thankful to a friend, thankful to an employer. Pick an
area a place that you want to focus on, you know,
maybe it's friendships, maybe it's your physical health you want
to be thankful for. I know that's one of my
biggest things. If any of you could have ever seen
me August to twenty twenty and to where I am today,
there's a really good reason why I'm positive and I
(43:32):
will never let anybody beat me down because I have
a gift that I'm going to really cherish. But allow
yourself to remember some things when you're practicing gratitude that
weren't so good, like that moment for me, and be
thankful and talk about it to yourself. And the last
part of that is to keep a journal in whatever
you do. Just remember the best things in life are
(43:52):
for things that you can have to enrich your experiences
in life and connect connect with others, and these kinds
of things don't have to cost a lot of money.
You know, a lot of the stuff I talked about
today is all about finding yourself, making some list or
making a schedule, not overbooking yourself, being in the moment,
being humble, listening to others before reacting, and taking care
(44:17):
of you. That's what we're about. So I want to
leave you guys with this. Lots more we're going to
talk about next week, but make time for you. You
need to reach us, you can always look us up
on our QR code that's up at the top of
the screen, and you can reach out to me for
questions or any help you might need. You can get
our books there on that website as well, and if
(44:38):
you need to reach us by text, it's nine oh
four three seven seven one one six and look going
into the fourth of July weekend, take the weekend to
find your best self. Give yourself a moment, give yourself
a break, enjoy the moment, enjoy the rich history and
knowing that we have a choice, and our choices we're
going to make today are based on things that we've
(44:59):
learned from the We may not necessarily want to repeat
in the past. The things that we've learned from that
have taken us to great places, we want to recognize
and make moments. Put them in a journal, share them
with your children, share them with others that you love,
make the most of every day. We're here for you
at Wellness Uncensored, and I want to thank all of
you for your listenership and your questions and the folks
(45:22):
that have reached out to us in the past, and
please keep your questions coming we'll be with you next Thursday,
three pm Eastern. I look forward to talk with you
guys and have a wonderful holiday weekend. God bless America
and thanks for all you do. See y'all soon
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