November 12, 2024 • 10 mins
Trouble with negative individuals? This motivational speech from Dee Shields is for you!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
A motivational speech segment. You can learn from your negative
family members. You can learn from negative family members. As
long as you do this, make sure you stay tuned
and follow the host. I am d Shields I am
d e E s h I E l d S
(00:21):
on X. You can also follow on Instagram. You can
also follow via reels on Facebook I am d E
E s h I E l d S or on
TikTok I am d e E s h I E
l d s c O. You can learn from negative
family members. The first thing that people want to do,
(00:44):
and I understand the fight and flight of it. You
want to distance yourselves from individuals that trigger anything from
your past. You want to distance yourselves from individuals that
have no respect for or just have a complete disc
regard for how you feel about their behavior. However, in
(01:06):
the sense of your legacy, in the sense of where
you're going and the children that will come from your legacy,
Like when you get married and you have children and
those children begin to have children, each one of those
individuals are going to pick up on different traits. Oftentimes
one of your grandchildren, say, may have the traits of
(01:28):
one of your family members that you distance yourself from
You want to not go too far away once you begin.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
To grow, so you want to still maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Visit every once in a while if it's safe, because
I want you to stay safe, and I want you
to feel safe, and I want I don't want you
to do anything outside of what your therapist or your
counselor has told you to do.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So make sure you take care of you and.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Not just listen to this and go and do something
willy nilly without thinking. Make sure that you're doing complete
self care with this process. But you can give them
once or twice a year enough to be able to
understand a little bit more, especially as you grow older,
where these characteristics come from what the individual might have
(02:19):
actually been thinking, how they actually feel, listening more, saying less,
allowing them to be who they are, right because when
people are you can see exactly who they are when
you're just sitting and watching them without interrupting or guiding
them into this way or that way. Because a really
(02:39):
manipulative person is going to try to pick up on
what they think you want them to say, and then
they'll do that rather than just be themselves.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So you kind of have to for a short time.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Only you may have to shrink just a little bit
so you can see. But I don't want you to
shrink for longer than five minutes, because in twenty twenty five,
we are refusing to shrink.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We are going to be annoying as possible in our greatness.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Right, But I do want you to not feel like, oh,
I can't be around that negative family member ever.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Once you strengthen.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Who you are God has called you, strengthened who you are,
Strengthen who God has called you to be.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Once you have faith in who God has.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Called you to be, you could be around them, I
promise you, because you know who you are and they
can't trigger you like they used to. You've grown stronger,
your mind is stronger. You're not susceptible to those evil
ways anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Right, So don't just feel like, you know what, I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like how that person makes me feel to the point
where negative things happen to me the rest of the
week after visiting with them.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, well, you definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Don't want to repeat that as often as very often,
you know, because then that could cause a negative things
to happen in your life. So you want to keep
your distance and negative family members consider the fact that
if everyone is distancing themselves away from you, what is
(04:12):
it about your life?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
What is it about your lifestyle?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
What is it about your ways that causes people not
to want to be around you? All of us could
do a self check, right, We all are not above flaws,
So all of us can do a self check and say,
you know what, that doesn't usually work out when I'm
around that person. So what is it that I could
possibly be doing? Not beating yourself up and blaming yourself
(04:38):
up for the manipulator and you know, the persons that
cause chaos and headache on purpose intentionally and making yourself
you know, blaming yourself. Don't do that, but definitely self
check and make sure that you didn't have anything.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
How to self check, you have to look in the mirror.
That's what I always do.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I'm starving the man the mirror. Mm.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You know, like a woman has to take a look
at herself, sometimes a man has to take a look
at themself sometimes and say, look, what is it that
I possibly may have said wrong?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Could I have done that differently?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Sometimes you could go and try to apologize for it,
try to have a conversation, and then there are those
individuals that are so negative that you are not going
to get a different perception out of them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
You're not going to risk.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Get a a understanding that will be a reasonable You're
going to bump heads. If it could get nasty, it
could turn into fistfight, it could turn into yelling and screaming,
and yelling and screaming could turn into strokes.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Right, So you don't need to t to put yourself
or your.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Body through that kind of interaction, right, but you can.
You can self reflect and if you can't, have the
conversation about it. If not, you could do better the
next time around, you know what and say, you know,
I did a little bit of too much of that
and that probably caused negativity to begin in the environment.
So if I, you know, pull back and I know
that that person can't receive my greatness, so I'll just
(06:08):
move around to this side of the room and have
the conversation over here. This is really especially important in
this season because it's about to be Thanksgiving, it's about
to be Christmas a couple months later, you guys, Easter,
and then the family reunions are gonna start up. So
you're gonna have these moments where you're having to interact
with each other.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So sometimes you can self check.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know, to say, how can I get through this
so I can learn what is this?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Is this a family trait?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Is this, you know, a genetic trait that just kind
of passed down and it can it be.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Fixed outside of therapy?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Is it something that individuals can do?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Do? Minds have to be changed? You know?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I tell you guys all the time on the podcast
that Crafieldalo once said, a mind that changes that is
one of the greatest miracles that God has done. So
oftentimes being around individuals and.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
God ain't done that miracle yet.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It could be testy, right, But before you say I'm
gonna distance myself from negative individuals, maybe consider the fact
that there's something that you can learn from it. But
always always make sure that you takeing care of yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I can't repeat that enough.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And feel free to to only see them once or
twice a year, you know, even if they live across
the street.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm so okay before of that. A lot of people say, girl,
that's impossible.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It's not not with your d shields, right, Like, it's
not impossible for me to see a negative person that
lives on the same street and know that I can't
interact with you and go you know what, you and
me that don't work out. You know, we can't do
too much of that hanging out thing because it gets
real negative and.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That's not my comfort zone. Learn how to get that
comfortable with people.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Learn and then, like I said, there's no individuals that
you can't say it too because they're gonna take it
up a notch and try to turn it into an
argument because is their inability to communicate or they lack
communication skills.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Sometimes you can't say it to them. You have to
say it to them.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know, a whole bunch of black women understood what
I meant just now like you can body language it
to them and they understand she not feeling that today, right,
So stand up for yourself for sure. Don't get run
over and allow negative people to continue to dominate your
environment if they have.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Negative things that they do. Sometimes people have negative lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
You know, have you guys watched the New Whitney documentary
where so many people had negative lifestyles. She ended up
in a negative lifestyle that influenced her. If someone did
gave to her on her sixteenth birthday. That then influenced
her daughter, that then influenced the people around her. You know,
negative lifestyles like drugs can end up consuming you if
(08:51):
you keep yourself in that environment. So take self cares
to say I'm not going to be around that. I
don't care if it's so much as marijuana blunt, that's
not my lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I don't want to be around that.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So standing up for myself and saying that's not me
and that's not what I like to be around. Right,
All right, it's Taco Tuesday, and I have to bring
this one to a close. But I hope you understood
the message that I'm giving you. Right, So it's a
negative person, you don't have to necessarily never see them again.
You can consider what you can learn from them, and
then you can keep your distance, not disrespectfully, because.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You want to be the light. You don't want to
be darkness.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So you can keep your distance, but do it when
you do interact, you know, keep the environment to where
it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Trigger your trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You know, and that you set an example and something
good felt good in the atmosphere, and they take that away,
they're not going to admit it. Some people, especially the
characteristics of some individuals that are so negative.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
But at least you know you did it right.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I'm your host, D Shills and thank you for stopping
by another motivational sp beach
A motivational speech segment. You can learn from your negative
family members. You can learn from negative family members. As
long as you do this, make sure you stay tuned
and follow the host. I am d Shields I am
d e E s h I E l d S
(00:21):
on X. You can also follow on Instagram. You can
also follow via reels on Facebook I am d E
E s h I E l d S or on
TikTok I am d e E s h I E
l d s c O. You can learn from negative
family members. The first thing that people want to do,
(00:44):
and I understand the fight and flight of it. You
want to distance yourselves from individuals that trigger anything from
your past. You want to distance yourselves from individuals that
have no respect for or just have a complete disc
regard for how you feel about their behavior. However, in
(01:06):
the sense of your legacy, in the sense of where
you're going and the children that will come from your legacy,
Like when you get married and you have children and
those children begin to have children, each one of those
individuals are going to pick up on different traits. Oftentimes
one of your grandchildren, say, may have the traits of
(01:28):
one of your family members that you distance yourself from
You want to not go too far away once you begin.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
To grow, so you want to still maybe.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Visit every once in a while if it's safe, because
I want you to stay safe, and I want you
to feel safe, and I want I don't want you
to do anything outside of what your therapist or your
counselor has told you to do.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So make sure you take care of you and.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Not just listen to this and go and do something
willy nilly without thinking. Make sure that you're doing complete
self care with this process. But you can give them
once or twice a year enough to be able to
understand a little bit more, especially as you grow older,
where these characteristics come from what the individual might have
(02:19):
actually been thinking, how they actually feel, listening more, saying less,
allowing them to be who they are, right because when
people are you can see exactly who they are when
you're just sitting and watching them without interrupting or guiding
them into this way or that way. Because a really
(02:39):
manipulative person is going to try to pick up on
what they think you want them to say, and then
they'll do that rather than just be themselves.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So you kind of have to for a short time.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Only you may have to shrink just a little bit
so you can see. But I don't want you to
shrink for longer than five minutes, because in twenty twenty five,
we are refusing to shrink.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
We are going to be annoying as possible in our greatness.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Right, But I do want you to not feel like, oh,
I can't be around that negative family member ever.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Once you strengthen.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Who you are God has called you, strengthened who you are,
Strengthen who God has called you to be.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Once you have faith in who God has.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Called you to be, you could be around them, I
promise you, because you know who you are and they
can't trigger you like they used to. You've grown stronger,
your mind is stronger. You're not susceptible to those evil
ways anymore.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
Right, So don't just feel like, you know what, I don't.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like how that person makes me feel to the point
where negative things happen to me the rest of the
week after visiting with them.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Yeah, well, you definitely.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Don't want to repeat that as often as very often,
you know, because then that could cause a negative things
to happen in your life. So you want to keep
your distance and negative family members consider the fact that
if everyone is distancing themselves away from you, what is
(04:12):
it about your life?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
What is it about your lifestyle?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
What is it about your ways that causes people not
to want to be around you? All of us could
do a self check, right, We all are not above flaws,
So all of us can do a self check and say,
you know what, that doesn't usually work out when I'm
around that person. So what is it that I could
possibly be doing? Not beating yourself up and blaming yourself
(04:38):
up for the manipulator and you know, the persons that
cause chaos and headache on purpose intentionally and making yourself
you know, blaming yourself. Don't do that, but definitely self
check and make sure that you didn't have anything.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
You know.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
How to self check, you have to look in the mirror.
That's what I always do.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I'm starving the man the mirror. Mm.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
You know, like a woman has to take a look
at herself, sometimes a man has to take a look
at themself sometimes and say, look, what is it that
I possibly may have said wrong?
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Could I have done that differently?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Sometimes you could go and try to apologize for it,
try to have a conversation, and then there are those
individuals that are so negative that you are not going
to get a different perception out of them.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
You're not going to risk.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
Get a a understanding that will be a reasonable You're
going to bump heads. If it could get nasty, it
could turn into fistfight, it could turn into yelling and screaming,
and yelling and screaming could turn into strokes.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Right, So you don't need to t to put yourself
or your.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Body through that kind of interaction, right, but you can.
You can self reflect and if you can't, have the
conversation about it. If not, you could do better the
next time around, you know what and say, you know,
I did a little bit of too much of that
and that probably caused negativity to begin in the environment.
So if I, you know, pull back and I know
that that person can't receive my greatness, so I'll just
(06:08):
move around to this side of the room and have
the conversation over here. This is really especially important in
this season because it's about to be Thanksgiving, it's about
to be Christmas a couple months later, you guys, Easter,
and then the family reunions are gonna start up. So
you're gonna have these moments where you're having to interact
with each other.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
So sometimes you can self check.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
You know, to say, how can I get through this
so I can learn what is this?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
Is this a family trait?
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Is this, you know, a genetic trait that just kind
of passed down and it can it be.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Fixed outside of therapy?
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Is it something that individuals can do?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Do? Minds have to be changed? You know?
Speaker 1 (06:52):
I tell you guys all the time on the podcast
that Crafieldalo once said, a mind that changes that is
one of the greatest miracles that God has done. So
oftentimes being around individuals and.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
God ain't done that miracle yet.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
It could be testy, right, But before you say I'm
gonna distance myself from negative individuals, maybe consider the fact
that there's something that you can learn from it. But
always always make sure that you takeing care of yourself.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I can't repeat that enough.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And feel free to to only see them once or
twice a year, you know, even if they live across
the street.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I'm so okay before of that. A lot of people say, girl,
that's impossible.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
It's not not with your d shields, right, Like, it's
not impossible for me to see a negative person that
lives on the same street and know that I can't
interact with you and go you know what, you and
me that don't work out. You know, we can't do
too much of that hanging out thing because it gets
real negative and.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
That's not my comfort zone. Learn how to get that
comfortable with people.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Learn and then, like I said, there's no individuals that
you can't say it too because they're gonna take it
up a notch and try to turn it into an
argument because is their inability to communicate or they lack
communication skills.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Sometimes you can't say it to them. You have to
say it to them.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
You know, a whole bunch of black women understood what
I meant just now like you can body language it
to them and they understand she not feeling that today, right,
So stand up for yourself for sure. Don't get run
over and allow negative people to continue to dominate your
environment if they have.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Negative things that they do. Sometimes people have negative lifestyles.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
You know, have you guys watched the New Whitney documentary
where so many people had negative lifestyles. She ended up
in a negative lifestyle that influenced her. If someone did
gave to her on her sixteenth birthday. That then influenced
her daughter, that then influenced the people around her. You know,
negative lifestyles like drugs can end up consuming you if
(08:51):
you keep yourself in that environment. So take self cares
to say I'm not going to be around that. I
don't care if it's so much as marijuana blunt, that's
not my lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I don't want to be around that.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
So standing up for myself and saying that's not me
and that's not what I like to be around. Right,
All right, it's Taco Tuesday, and I have to bring
this one to a close. But I hope you understood
the message that I'm giving you. Right, So it's a
negative person, you don't have to necessarily never see them again.
You can consider what you can learn from them, and
then you can keep your distance, not disrespectfully, because.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
You want to be the light. You don't want to
be darkness.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So you can keep your distance, but do it when
you do interact, you know, keep the environment to where
it doesn't.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Trigger your trauma.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
You know, and that you set an example and something
good felt good in the atmosphere, and they take that away,
they're not going to admit it. Some people, especially the
characteristics of some individuals that are so negative.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
But at least you know you did it right.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I'm your host, D Shills and thank you for stopping
by another motivational sp beach
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