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Episode Transcript
Hey, Love, Thank you so much for stopping back by.
Welcome back to what D Says the podcast. I appreciate
all of the listens to the podcast when it's been
on hiatus for a few as we get ready for
my graduation. So welcome back, Welcome back, welcome back. You
can follow me on social media. I am D Shields,
(00:23):
I am D E s H I E l DS.
I am your podcast host, writer Arthur of six projects,
working on another project that's coming up in October.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hopefully for release date.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And you're paralegal because your girl graduates on Saturday from
paralegal school. Thank you so much for stopping by. I
have a journey that I'm on to revamp, kind of
like where I've been because you get to that place
when you turn fifty and I told you guys about that,
(00:58):
you know, last year, but you just start changing things
around and evolving and.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Going to the next level.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Paralegal was a choice because very interesting in all things
that are interested in all things.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
That are legal justice system.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Everyone that knows me knows I'm very interested in those
type of topics and what it does for the community,
what it does for the nation, what it does for us.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Across the globe.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I am also very interested in all things attorney, and
that's a more of a macro goal. First, we're just
walking in after twenty five years of being an admin
and being in corporate spaces as an admin, now walking
into a different set issues towards.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Those long term goals. So thank you so much for
stopping by.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Right now, we're gonna be talking about how we treat ourselves.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Right, So too often people well neglect.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Self, and when they neglect self, sometimes they get to
the point where they can't stand who they are. If
you are built strong, right, if you're built in in
with the with the mental mindset of saying that I
am going to bounce back, I have resilience.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I got into this place of this sort of self.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Hate, but I now know that I've been neglecting myself,
ignoring my needs and ignoring the things that are a
part of my self love routine.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And now I need to get back to a better mean.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Some people can do that, and they can do that
with ease and without any additional too much additional support, right,
And some people just can't tap into that, and that
self hate it will become evident in all the things
that they do. That hatred can become evident in their conversations.
(02:58):
Their hatred can become evident in the things that they
you know, kind of post those social media, the topics
that they post about, the topics that they'll show up for,
and the topics.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
That they stay away from.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
It becomes evident how they actually feel about themselves. And
so I say to you, guys, since two thy ten,
it speaks ethos who you are just based on your behavior. Right,
And as we're getting ready to write the Demeanor book
and put it out into the public, your demeanor tells.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
People who you are. It speaks ethos as to who
you are.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So if you have a consistent negative demeanor, nasty caddy
just always talking bad to or bad on individuals and
finding complete entertainment with nasty behavior and treatment of people,
it speaks ethos as to who and what your character is.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Right. So tapping into self love is something that you're
gonna have to go deep. Where at what point did
you start hating you? Who hurt you?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
That is a question that I ask all the time
when I see someone this incomplete self hatred, negative always
in a part of negative chaos and activity.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
And behavior and demeanor. Who hurt you? What are you
so angry about?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Why are you so full of hatred and meanness? Why
can't you pull yourself out of that? What have you done?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
What steps have you put in place to pull yourself
out of that?
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I used to tell my child when she would do things,
you know, and it would be a little caddy and
remind me of her biological and I would always tell her,
I ask the Father to help you not to act
like that. That's what I tell all my children. Ask
God to help you not to act like that. I
don't know no other source to send you to. If
you get to mean or you do something that that's
(05:09):
not okay, how to treat somebody right? And I'll say,
I ask God to help you not to act like that.
Tap into that. If that's the only thing that you
could tap into. How more proud am I to tell
you to go into a higher source. Tap into a
higher source if that's what it takes. But you have
to find a way to say this is me. This
(05:32):
is the only meed that I get in this lifetime.
And I am either going to take this moment right
here and I am going to make a conscious decision
looking at me, I'm gonna make a conscious decision to do.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Something different, to be better and to do better.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And if that's not popular with the people that I
deal with, if they don't like my sudden affirmations and
positivity and looking up and doing things great, If they
don't like that and they don't feel comfortable with that,
that's not my problem, right, Tell yourself that, like, what
are you hanging on to being negative?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
For? What are you getting out of that?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
Other than intense self hatred that keeps you up at
night you can't even get a good night's sleep. Had
got challenge you to go in there and lay down
right now and just try to lay down for an hour.
Your mind is so full of all the hateful things
that you've said and done, knowing inside that, Oh, I.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Just like to be a nasty person.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
You do, you do. You have found comfort in being
that person. But is it necessary? Where is it getting
you in life? And are you really interested in being
so nasty of a person that when you die, Lucifer
is gonna put you in a hell loop of all
the mean and nasty you did to people.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Right, that's what the hell will be for you? Like
going over here.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Do you watch the show, Lucifer. That's what it's gonna
be for you. It'll be a hell looper of all
the nasty that you've done to people over the years.
Or you can make a decision right now to do
something that is so great for for the greater good
of you and your future, for a better you. You
(07:18):
can make a decision right now that you are gonna
consciously stay away from negativity. Negative thoughts, negative behavior, negative activity,
negative demeanor, negative at environments, negative communities, negative activities, negative travel,
negative work. Whatever it is that you are getting into
(07:38):
that is negative. You're gonna make a conscious decision. I
don't wanna do that anymore. It's really as easy as that.
But if you can't do it on your own, then
go to a support group for it. Seek out a
mentor in that that you trust. Find a safe space
for someone that you trust that could say that will
talk straight to you, like er, yeah, yeah, dude, yeah,
(08:00):
you be being too like way to me, Like tone
that down. It's disrespectful. No one likes to be around it.
You make me do this or that. Sometimes people will
tell you that they're walking on ex shells. I'm quick
to tell you. I'm walking on ex shells around you,
and that's not my comfort zone. Right.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
I know you all can't have me other.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Than a few minutes of tuning in to an episode, right,
But you need a mean in your life.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
It's gonna tell you could acting like that.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
See, And I'll take the biggest and the baddest and
tell you because I'm not scared of you. My dady
raised me from a child to only be scared of God.
So when you've been told that your whole life, you
don't know how to fear people.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Right. My children don't fear humans.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
They don't fear people because I raised them on the
same principles that my father raised me on. I'm gonna
call a thing a thing. I'm gonna say what needs
to be said. I may hold back if it doesn't
need to be said. I'm gonna choose my words wisely.
I am going to it to do the serenity prayer.
My mother the serenity prayer, right, So I'm gonna make
(09:10):
sure that i'm choosing what it is.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Is that something that I need to engage in, But
if it needs to be said, I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
And if you're the type of person that you're so
negative and you're so hype, and you're gonna come with
that drama.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm gonna say it, and then I'm gonna cancel you,
cause I if.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
You can't receive what it is, then I'm trying to
tell you that it is negative for our connection, then
I'll walk away because how many times is someone gonna
tell you the same thing over and over? People grow tired?
Look at your life or how many how many people
that you used to know ten years ago that you
don't know anymore? How many people have you pissed off?
(09:51):
How many people have you hurt? In my case, those
type of people have had to get canceled. I'm only
gonna tolerate at them so long, and then I'm gonna
say that's not for me.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
I know you could do better, and you're refusing to
do that. So let me walk away in this season, and.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
If we're supposed to come around, we'll come back around
in another season.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
And that's it self. Care matters, Loving you matters.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
And when you love you, it'll show. When you love you,
it will show in all that you do. Neglect is
not necessarily that you don't love you. Neglect can be
that you are highly distracted. So if you see an
area that you're you've neglected, focus on that. Take away
(10:41):
from all take your attention away from all things negative,
and put a full focus on the areas that you
have neglected. That within itself is a life changer. You've
got to start loving you mentally though. And it's a
lot of work. But you can do the work because
you're still here. And if you were not able to
(11:02):
still do the work, God.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Would take you right. So you're still here. So while
you here, do the work. How you talk about people
that you don't know, how you show up on the
celebrity topics, that's an.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Indication as to who you are. It speaks ethos as
to who you are carrying yourself. Some of you even
try to say, I'm a child of God, but are you, though,
Jesus ain't having none of that. You own nasty talking, mean, being,
(11:42):
mean spirited, negative, derogatory, chaotic conversations.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
No, you're not a child to God. You're a child
to stop enough, get yourself back to God. Whatever made
you say that.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
That was what you wanted to be a part of,
find your way back because that doesn't represent the light
doesn't represent Jesus, doesn't represent the divine, doesn't represent.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
The higher Power.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
So no, you can't just hide behind the wording of
I'm a child to God. You can't just say I'm
a child to God and think that people think you're
a child to God. People think you're a child to
God based on your behavior and how you carry yourself,
what you are willing to do and say and be
for others.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
But that's a whole other topic.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Self love, Get you some, it'll make a world a difference,
and stay away from negative behavior. Stay away from negative talk,
stay away from negative actions, stay away from negative environments.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Do better, Be better. Cancel people.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
If your negative environment is so uncontrollable that it's impacting
you no matter what you do, even when you're not
in it, it's time to cancel those individuals.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
You cancel celebrity and a heartbeat over a topic.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Take that same energy and cancel folks in your life
that don't need to be there. Positive behavior, people that
speak it, who are it, who do it, who strive
to exemplify that in their demeanor on every given day.
(13:28):
Those are the individuals that you want in your environment.
Find your support in your community, find your mentors, find
your counseling. Find free counseling. A host of free counseling apps.
Go jump on one of them. Go to Psychology Today.
If you can't find it you don't know where to start.
They usually have something available and lots of great articles
(13:51):
to get you going, but they also have some resources
to where you can find somebody in your area.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
When you know better, you do better.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
I'm your Hoste Sills, and thank you for stopping by.
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