Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Yes, yes, yes, youknow what time it is. Stop for
Watch Your Name Again the podcast withAmerica's podcaster Kurt Kasserras. This is part
two with the Great. Great isn'teven the right word for this man.
This is he is bigger than life. He is next level. He drops
knowledge like it's a science. Youknow him as Marcel Dumas from Queens of
(00:33):
South and currently on Peacock TV andthe leading role on the new hit show
One of Us is Lying. Wegot here Part two? Ali meba Lord?
What's up? Before we get intoit. If you haven't heard part
one, get to it, getback right here, because you're missing out
(00:56):
on a man who has seen Hollywoodfrom all angles, had a twenty plus
your career, and it's here tohelp you understand how it works. Whether
you're in the business, new tothe business, never even considered it,
or even old bets. He's hereto help us understand how to traverse the
life of Hollywood and what it takesto stay ground and have a career.
(01:21):
I am joined by my co hostJosan Madi and asked me it's easy.
This is part two Once your Namein the podcast? What Ali mean?
THELF we'll see on the other side. And so why you are you?
Now, that's my question. Whydo we keep coming? You didn't know
Josane was coming with these questions.One Kurt, next time, give me
(01:45):
the questions, why are you Why? I'm gonna ask it as ascinctly as
I can without droning on. UmM a lot um. I'm gonna blame
my kids, is that okay?My kids fixed me to human purpose for
(02:08):
me, real singular, very specific. You know, Um, I spent
a lot of my years in mytwenties and you knew me early on.
You know what I'm saying. It'syoung, you know, pretty to me.
I thought I was very much vain, and you know, seeing what
I can get out of life,what I was gonna achieve it, I
was gonna get, what's gonna complish. I was gonna ron kill, dominate,
la la la la la right,young red blood of American whatever you
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want to call it, whatever metaphorto use or thing. And you know,
you grow up and you start growinga little bit. You're not you
know, life doesn't kill you,so you alive. So you start,
you know, stacking up experience andyou know kind of your your view of
what the definition of success and whatgrowth means starts to when a little bit
from that narrow thing you had inyour mind. And then I get married.
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I got married, You're like,oh my god, you gotta stand
up tall and you gotta be like, be a better person. It's a
whole other person there. You're like, Okay, not just your mom.
And I got four sisters. I'mused to women. It's not like you
know, but you're like, oh, you commit to a woman you know,
or a relationship you know you canbe it could be another man,
whatever it is. You know,that's a whole another level of compromise.
And then I had kids, andI will be honest, my kids.
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I don't blaming my kids for somuch in my life. Completely um fixed
something in me that I didn't knowwas not fixed. You know. Purpose,
Yeah, purpose, My fucking kidsgave me purpose. These little motherfuckers.
Man, Like, I just getsomething that I didn't get. There's
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nothing wrong with not getting it.You get it if you get it.
If you don't, you don't.Me and some people don't need kids fit
this. It's smarter than me.I was just dumb slow. So my
kids now I figure out why peoplecare about the bees? Why are you
fucking conservationist? What is what istheir deal live? You only live once?
They're like, yeah, but guesswhat's going to happen when you die?
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Your fucking kids are gonna be here. Yeah, so that's why you
care about the earth, stupid ass. You're like, oh, right,
because you own a yolo. Youonly live once in this chow. You're
gone. If you leave something onEarth, your host planet, you kind
of want there to be some fuckingwater for your kids to drink. You
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were like the ozone, You're notgoing to be there, Obviousleep, these
fuckers are going to be there,So you care about what happens when you're
gone, And it starts to dawnon you, the selfish kid you,
and you're like, oh fuck yeah, you start caring about everything, Yes,
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every fucking person, everything, thekind of condition of the world,
the racial climate, the socio economicequity, all of these things become like
so fucking important. Why because you'regonna You're gonna be dead as fried chicken
soon enough. And on top ofthat, you don't even know when.
Yeah, the kicker, you don'teven happen. You don't eat on top
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of that. For fact, youdon't know when. That's absolutely this is
the bullshit about life. You don'teven know when they're gonna take you off
this rock and wherever else you goaccording to your favor. We'll see you
figure out when you get there,right or not. You do know that's
going to happen. And then youso like all you're concerned about is what's
left for your kids and everybody else'skids. That ship becomes everything everything,
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more than what you get out ofa relationship, to give and to receive.
Blah blah blah. It's not evenabout what you get. You won't
be here. What world is laughthat is? That is thank you?
That was well said. That wasone hell of a answer to that amazing
question. That is so true becausea lot of people say, Hey,
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I live for my kids now,but so many people forget, but what
are you living now that's gonna laythe foundation later for their future. I
say it all the time. Iworry about my daughter. What's it gonna
be like when we're gone? Lookat the things happening now, what's it
gonna be like in fifty years we'regone? But they know, But but
they're becoming educated to know what todo that we didn't know. But we
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we are Russian, but we don'twant to go ahead of late. Yeah,
yeah, we have to be Yeah, we take care of the bees,
the seas and the ocean. Andso while I'm drawing breath. And
so that's why I care about thespiritual climate of people. What are we
consuming? Not just what we eat? What kind of messages are we consuming?
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You know, you know, abetter spiritual you know environment for people
to exist in is a better worldthat I'll see part of it, I
won't see all of it. Andfor fact that you are enough, Oh
you are enough. You are theworld. Our world teaches you that you're
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missing something. Yeah, that you'relacking something you gotta get, you gotta
take. There's a limited supply.The news is fear, fear or fear
of fear. Fear or fear fear, fear of fear of fear. There's
great money, and fear fear isvery lucrative. You're not big enough,
black enough, white enough, tallenough, fat enough, smart enough.
You know, Persian enough. Youknow what I'm saying, you know,
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Aryan enough. I mean, there'snot going to be enough of these people
are going to take your job.There's not enough of anything if you listen
to the news. No no,no, no no no no no no
no. That's a very that's avery spiritually ridiculous perspective. And it wasn't
like that were kid, and it'snot true. We didn't grow up with
that. There is enough, yes, And that's a perspective, chef.
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And it starts with you knowing thatyou are enough and every lie you have
been taught is a fucking lie.And so you gotta start calling out the
lies you were force fed before youknew any better. Yeah, yeah,
you are enough. So when youand sometimes just saying it in the confines
of your own mind is a fearfulexperience because inside of you is all these
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lies. But if you can't tellyourself that, no one else, bro.
And so that's when you went off. M maybe like, bro,
thank you for posting that shop.You don't know. Something happened to me.
I'm growing and it's fearful of me. I like to owe me,
but it's like it's nothing I cando. Yeah, there's nothing I can
do. I can't unlearn what Ilearned, and I can't unsee I'll be
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ready transparent with you right now.I love to owe me. You know
this is gone. That fucker isgone. Yeah, you know you can't
unknow you know whatever my mom didto me. I'm smart enough to not
be stupid. Yeah, so Ican't not know what I know, and
once something happens, I can't notI know. And I can't lie like
that. You know what I'm saying, Like you can't like lie to You're
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like you already know, dog,you stupid. So one time I posted
something on you know, on theFacebook. This is before Instagram or Twitter
existed. I think I can't rememberthe dates, but someone responded from South
Africa, somebody Amelia and South aperson I don't think. I'm sure i'll
never meet you know what I mean, person I don't know, and responded
to sign I posted. I wason my toiller balls things two thousand and
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nine, said something the inspirational thingsthat crossed my mind. And someone wrote
me a long letter about how thisthing affected her. Her father had been
dead for a long time, andI'm a butcher, so I'm not going
to try to do it too much. But she said what had what I
had chose to share that morning reallygot her the tears and she wanted to
thank me for it, and shehad been struggling me with her dad's death
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for a really long time. AndI can't remember what it is. My
memory is not like that, butI will never forget this. I was
like, Holly, shit, andI know it's not an original thought,
but it's new for me. Sosome of the shit you put out there
in the world can positively how faraway. And I'll admit myself I felt
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him. And I are on Instagramand there's more than one time when I've
seen your post and it was thetiming couldn't have been better. Not kidding
you. I don't know if I'vesent your message. Sometimes we'll talk on
there and I've looked at him thatI needed that today. Bro this this
So I have years of people,right, and I'm only saved a couple
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of them to remind myself. Youdon't know where it's gonna land, and
no one ever has to write anything, but here's the evidence, yea that
it lands, and it's neat,yes, And then you look at what's
on the incident You're like, ofcourse, And then my kids come along,
I'm like, fuck, they're gonnabe eating the same bullshit that we're
all eating. And so I wouldlike as I would like a balance,
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I would like the ratio. I'mnot trying to say I love you know,
you know you tupoca love and doit. You know. I love
you know future, I love Drakeall that. I just I want the
ratio. They can have Eminem's andthey can have carriage right now, all
we got his eminems and his mother. All we got his funny you know
what I'm saying. I want themto have, you know, a bag
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a good ship to pick from too. Yes, And so the old man
and me, I'm gonna be theold black guy on the subway that kids
run from because I'm the most annoyingfucker on the train. I'm gonna be
like, you know, those peopleto knock on your door. Have you
got Jesus Christ in your life?I'm sure gangsters are gonna run from me.
It comes as old gives you're sofucking annoying, Yeah, because I
just want you to live a goodlife. And ain't nothing like a person
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that's living in crazy worlds like getaway from me. We used to run
from the people, you know,but sign up aroology like, God,
gangsters would be like, man,can't come to their pamphlets. You're just
like, you know what, I'mlike, that's scary. Yeah, you're
not. You're gonna be like whenwe're kids, Like, I'm never gonna
be like that. I'm never gonnabe like that. I'm gonna gonna chain
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listen, son matters running. It'sfunny because you are enough. It's so
powerful and it's so necessary, youknow. I mean when you think about
just like the world that we livein. Yes, we um a lot
of our anxiety. You know,we inherited them, right We inherit them
from our parents, We inherit themfrom social media right now, we inherit
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them from toxic relationships, you know, yes, exactly, yeah, right
right, you know. So it'sbeautiful when you have a platform, going
back to the whole point of it, when you have a platform and um,
you know, people go, well, I don't want to be a
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role model. You know, wewe all you know, whatever your state
of influences, but you can't helpit. Once you're out there, what
you put out there will affect otherpeople. And that's just the world,
you know. So I really appreciatethe fact that even as an artist.
But you bring yourself and you bringyour light, you know, to that
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platform, which obviously you know,tend to expand and um, you know,
um encourage other people to walk better. You know, absolutely, I
don't. I don't care about anyrole model I don't have to do with
any of that nonsense. What Iam committed with my whole soul is in
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is to empower and to inspire.I am sure about that. The whole
role model thing, Yeah, Idon't know. You look at my criminal
record, d that's it. Iknow what the fuck I'm doing. I
know there needs to be another bagto choose from. I'm not saying you
can't have the other stuff cool.There needs to be more of this,
and of this, I am certainof this. I need no one to
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co sign one. I don't needanyone to pat me on the back and
say you're doing a good job.There needs to be some more encouragement,
empowerment, something to grab on whenyou're in the dirt, when you're depressed,
when you're ready to give up,when you're ready to fucking fold.
There needs to be more shit topick from that can help you get back
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up to do whatever it is.You need to do and this I know
for sure. Yeah, and you'redoing your you are doing You're doing it.
We need more of that, sir, Thank you, Thank you so
much. Now speaking of the youare enough back to our craft, you
are enough? I heard. Isaw an interview once with Meryl Streep Daniel
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de Lewis both said kind of thesame thing, which you'd be surprised from
them, is speaking of you areenough. We are humans as actors,
and you know, people see uson screen and we're bigger than life,
but in the end, we're stillhuman. Now do you how do you
deal with or do you deal withthe the doubt? Sometimes it comes in
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ourselves as an actor artist with yourwork. Oh that wasn't good enough,
or I should have made this choice, or oh I didn't feel I did
what I was supposed to do,Like, well, what most of our
moments flow as actors, But wedo have those and like I just said,
like the Meryl Stree down day Lewisis a minute, it never ends.
Like how do you with yourself dealwith those moments? Like what the
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hell am I doing here? Oh? I can, I can? I
can speak to that directly. Iwas just talking to my wife about this,
you know, And I didn't knowI was doing it until I watching
my son work did with anxiety.And I didn't know that I have anxiety.
But like I come from the environmentwhere you weren't psychologically You didn't go
no psychiatrists. You know what I'msaying. You know, you just got
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nerves. You got nerves, man, you got anxiety, bro. And
so like I've had anxiety my wholelife. We call it nerves. You
can nervous and but like you,we have doctors back in the hood.
You know, I've never deal withit. Slash hampionship. You know where
we're from, but your kids,now, we didn't in the suburbs.
You're live in a suburb. Soit's like, you know, you're like,
(15:46):
Okay, my son has anxiety.You know, how should we you
know, work with it? Andso one of the ways that I didn't
know what I was doing, umand I found value in uh, what
I received from other people and somethingthat I think that came me naturally.
One thing was to work as hardas I could. And so that was
when I realized this is by trialand error the only way that I can
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calm the nervousness was by going hard, overworking, overproducing, overproducing, and
that's that maybe calm. And nowI figured out why that made me calm,
because you know, once you giveyour one hundred and twenty percent,
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then you let go. That's it. And so one of the things that
helped me to calm that anxiety wasto give, don't give eighty. And
this is a life thing like thatnow that came to me, I'm gonna
say it's something else that I've learnedfrom other people that's been very helpful mentally,
something that I clicked in to naturallygive everything you got, empty the
tank empty, the tank empty,because that's something that you can determine that
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you can decide that no one nobodyhas to clap you on the back,
no one gives you a fucking cookiefor giving, and no one can have
you give your best, but Ican give you a dessert prize for give
me, and then one else cando it for you. And that always
made me feel more relaxed. WhenI knew. I tried to rehearse the
play lines, the choreography as muchas I could. And then there was
a good girl, old girlfriend ofmine, actress, dancer, who used
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I knew from New York named Monicaexplained, Hey Monica, if you're out
there listening. And when I firstgot to LA auditioning, um, you
know, for sitcom stuff, andshe shared a philosophy that she had picked
up. But I don't know whereshe got it from, but whoever gave
it to her, I'm giving itto everybody. You know, do your
best. Walk into those rooms,do your best, and then go home.
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So the size and the trash fun, yes, close the door,
do your best. But that alsothat spoke to me because that was the
only way I could calm my nervesby doing my best, giving all that
I can do. And then Ihad a that on top of that,
and that has protected my sanity inthis industry. And then my acting teacher
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God arrested. So Harry Poe hewas, you know, he would work
are so hard as that theater trainingto work us so hard, and then
the day before a big show hewould give us the day off. Oh
really, right before a big showhe was the day off. And then
right before he didn't he rehearse usagain the day of performance, and then
right before we do a prayer beforewe go on he'd be like, not
go out there and have fun.Yeah, And every time he said it
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always be like, right, havefun, And that was a key to
let go. You can't force art. No, it doesn't, it doesn't
work that way. I'm sure.I'm sure every Mozart, Chopin, Beethoven,
uh, Duke Ellington, and everywriter always tells you they're like they're
listening for then they hear it,even as an artist, as an actor.
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I listened now, I listened forthe moment. What is it?
What's the I can't make that.You're receiving something that comes from wherever the
fuck art comes from. I don'tgenerate it. I try to hear it.
I try to get into the zone. I try to get into that
speed where inspiration starts to move through. And that's part of letting go,
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doing your best on the day.That's all you got. Let go.
Thank you centers me. It hassented me for twenty five years. There
you go, And that is sucha good lesson for young new people to
the business. And Vets reminds youabsolutely because when you're having fun and you
let go and you and you doyour best, you can't after question yourself
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because you're you know, now,if you don't do your best on the
way there, then you could sayI could have worked hard, I could
have done that. But if youput everything into it, there's nothing left.
You drain the tank. Like yousaid, you can't question yourself because
you did your best. You did. My buddy, Charles League with your
phenomenal actor for the Temptations, heplayed Oldis Wilson. We're from the Bronx
(20:03):
together. Yeah. We used totake the bus, three buses to his
house. And then this is theearly nineties. This is like eighty This
is crazy. I want I wantto say that that year. Sorry,
Charles Molly, I ain't trying toage us. Bro and I say,
the bust is at his house andthen we take and then we walk up
the Bronx Community College and run andtalk about what we could be when we
got older actors. A lot ofa lot of this is this is ninety
maybe ninety one. And he andthen when we both got on soaps,
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he got on One Life to Liveat the same time I got on Loving
Right. He played doctor bend somethingon One Life to Live. Charles Milakewickfield,
you can look it up. Afterthis is over. Someone's been trying
to get him on the soap offendof mine. That's this is yeahs such
a good guy. No no,no, no no, that's no no,
no no, that's that's my reflection. That's my dog gys you know.
No no no, no no,they don't no no no no no
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no no no no. That's mywe This is before all these dreams,
before we had kids. This isbefore everything, before we knew there was
a Los Angeles he's the Bronx Boys. And he told me something. We
went on the soap and he andI've I've gotten from people, uh,
and I used to I was rehearsingfor the soup one day and I'm sorry
for this quick story and he waslike and I was like, hey,
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man, I spent a couple ofuh, like, I spent a couple
of h I spent like an houron these lines. And he was like,
that's it. Oh wow. Iwas like, yeah, he's lit
soup. At the same time,you know, I was like, yeah,
man for the hour. He waslike, I spent four hours on
my mids. Oh my god,you're doing your boys can messenge you.
I was like, milake. Hesaid, like I spent four hours on
(21:29):
these lines. Ali, I'm goinghop Yeah, I was like, goddamn,
so I overproduce you get you getinto the habit of giving more than
you're paid for. Yes, somehave a moment. Get into the habit
of giving more than you are paidfor. That is a great quote.
(21:55):
They pay you ten thousand work likethey paying you eighty and paying you a
hundred work like you getting paid onepoint five million. Being getting the habit
of giving because it's not about them. Yeah, no, that's not about
with your age is negotiating. Getinto the habit of giving more than you
are paid. Don't be Patrick Mahomesnot giving a lesson. You've got paid
for it. Don't you go andoverdo Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
(22:17):
Over overdo it? Bring unless youknow when when a pair of pliers
will do. And I got thatfrom Like I've picked up so much throughout
throughout experience, and I you tothis day my wife like why are you?
Why are you up all night work? Like baby, I won't be
able to rest unless I go inyou know, and it's it's it's been
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very valuable for me, Yes andNetwork Television to know all of my co
stars lines. This is a littleindustry inside, you know, because sometimes
you know people much more famous,much more rich from you. You know,
it would be like I'm not sayingthat, and I've had to go
to me like I got it.I got it, because there's plot points
(23:03):
that need to get said. Yes, you know, and so they knew
that they can count on you,that you this month, I can over
prepares, you know what I'm saying, So like, yeah, I get
you. You're ready sometimes to pickup slack because anything can happen. And
some of the best things have happenedto me when you know when someone can't
make it or they get sick,and you be prepared to do something.
But you know, if I didthe minimum amount of preparation, I wouldn't
(23:27):
have been ready to take that rock. And there's one hell of a lesson
right there. It's changed. It'sa lesson for life. It's changed my
life. It is a lesson forlife right there. It's changed my life.
Over prepare because it's the moment's gonnait's never gonna hurt, it's never
going to hurt. You to overprepare and then remember when the moment comes,
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have fun. Yeah, don't justbe ready to die out there on
the floor if you go. Speakingof having fun, let's look at a
quick clip. This guy on OurSenior on the Your Senior Show, and
I remember, I know it wasyesterday. Did you recur? Where your
(24:15):
regular? That was my first seriesregular prime time series Comedy Too, booked
that December of nineteen ninety six.I had moved moved to California and booked
a series regular. They paid meten thousand dollars an episode. It was
more money than I had ever seenin my time. I thought I was
(24:36):
rich and I love we all justsaid it too. I loved that show.
I remember that show made me alot of our citial was funny,
man. It didn't mean to meanthat that was really that was some good
stuff. To thank you man,that it made a lot to me.
That was the job that you know. I was left the soap after three
years. I spent all my moneyon girls and hanging out in New York
City. I had to. Ihad maybe three thousand dollars to my name,
(24:56):
and then the show that the soapdidn't want me back, and I
was, you know, now,what I'm gonna do with my agent was
like come to La. I cameto La, became a monk, you
know, focused, focused, focus, Yes, and then you know that
was the first you know, bigbook game for me. You know that
let me that gave me the selfesteem of courage to know that you know,
(25:18):
coming from soaps, that you canmake it in prime time time.
Yeah. Yes, and that thatparticular gave me that confidence. No,
I got it. Like the questionme for this if you now that was
just another laifestation that you can doit. Bro, you got what it
takes, and that show got canyou were good again once again? Your
comedy timing was freaking great. Itcanceled, it got cancel up in seven
(25:40):
episodes. For me, of course, it didn't matter. Yeah. The
thing that I that I needed inmy soul was that you could you got
a kid. Yeah, yeah,it did what it needed to do for
you. For me that it gaveyou the and some money, you know,
Yeah, you didn't have to workstress for a year, had seventy
thousand taxes. I was just likeI was sixty six, I had lit
(26:02):
in my pockets before that. Itwas all upside. And also for those
you the industry though, is you'rethose not in the industry. When you
get a role like that, you'reon the list. Yes, there's a
list behind that. Back then didthey list, Oh oh you're the book,
(26:26):
a bol list and the non book. No one will talk about it
officially. I have been on thelist and since since Matrix then because I
don't know what these lists are.Oh yeah, I had the same experience.
I've been on the list for yearsand not on the list, so
I know it exists. Boom boomboom. And for those you listening who
(26:47):
aren't, who aren't working actors constantlyto understand is the series regulars, recurrings,
these bigger jobs you get, evena substantial guest star, you know,
on the networks, especially when itwas only the big networks, you
were on an unofficial list of theywere going your type. They were going
to him first. I'll emi rightthere he was. He was in their
(27:12):
camp, in their box. Andit's a real thing because you get offered
something after that. Then you getoffered something of that you're the first go
to and unless you're turning it down, the next guys down the line don't
get a shot. So and Ino one has ever told me. I've
never had a conversation with an executive. But I don't need Philip Morris to
(27:33):
confirm to me that's smoking. Willget cause you cancel the problem, would
ask pertain? Yeah, I read, I got my own sin eyes,
you know, and I know youknow what I mean that. You know
that like any industry, you know, there's you know, people talk to
each other. It's a small industry. And on on a real level,
(27:56):
there's you know, you're all hiredthrough business affairs. Ye, so you
working for a multinational corporation and there'sa couple of lawyers and business affairs.
I don't care what the show isif it's that particular network, it's the
same people. This is not youknow, that's not suggestive. That's for
real file. And when you booka role, you book a job,
you book a big contract. There'sthe business your agents deal with the producers
(28:22):
a bit, but the business affairsoffice of that corporation, and they're the
person that mentor with you. Yes, and they're the same people. And
sometimes it's the same person. SoI've had somebody at a particular company know
me from that job, that jobyou just show on ABC. I I
(28:45):
got hired by that same network alonga while later on, and you know,
I didn't know he said word tome that he was he had.
He's like a good job, proudof you. Yeah, this is a
person I've never met but had beendoing your deals for all these and they
know, they know you get onset the business. The first person is
(29:08):
not on your set because they don'twork for that producer, that particular producing
project. They work for the currentcompany and they are embedded corporate structure.
Yeah, it's not just the castingdirectors that know. Ali me, it
goes up to the executives. Itbug me out because it's I never even
thought of it that for years,because it happened. You knew it for
(29:30):
years that there's one person that's makingone Well, there's a few case.
But what I mean is that thereis an unofficial list. But he's even
but even on the different level.He's basically saying that all the people who
work on all the different shows getfiltered through just to select few. Basically,
(29:52):
I mean, this is this isnot you know suggested. This is
like you know, business affairs,Like, yeah, that's business affairs,
entertainment, business fairs, you know, co operations. I have a business
affairs office zy, people that ultimatelyyour your attorneys or your agents are dealing
with to finalize and negotiate your ratesfor your deals. You either deal with
in their attorneys and they're not theproducers and the directors, and they're none
of that stuff at the end ofthe day. And that's what I have
(30:15):
figured out. When someone had hejust wanted to send a compliment to me,
who had seen me over the yearsgrow the fuck up. Yes,
I was shocked. Yeah, He'sjust like, tell Alim you know.
I was like, who, becauseI don't That's not my job. I'm
an you know, the producers,you know, the corporate America. I
don't know how the structure runs.And he has sent a compliment a kind
(30:38):
word to me. Yes, Andmy agent was like, yeah, that's
the person who did your deal backthen. I was like blah blah,
man, you know what I mean? Yeah, Jane, you know what
I mean? Like, you knowyou know what, man, Well mind
the people are watching you know,you don't know, you don't know who're
(30:59):
watching? Man? What would whoeverwatching them? You know? And it
just was like wow, wow,it was it was Luckily it was neither
to I got that word, youknow, the easy one to So we
shouldn't be going out with producers.We should be actually trying to hang out
(31:22):
and hang out with the people onthe business the business affairs like you and
find out what You'll see them everynow and again. They'll be at the
upfront, you know, like thisis the good the knock on wood,
the blessing, the good fortune ofit. Have been having the opportunity to
work in network television. The blessingthe God authored the doors to open that
I have the chance to live mydream, feed my family, you know,
(31:47):
UM work with some beautiful people youknow, you know, and I
you know, on my phone ormy executive producers you know, you know,
um keeping those relationships props, nofriendships. If you don't mind saying
French, that's a better word forit, French sound department. You know,
this collection is creative community. You'llsee the same people and we are
(32:07):
in your life, is in ourindustry. So we all have this nice
little tribe that we talked to,you know. So it's been a blessing
to be in this fraternity, youknow, because a very small Yes it
is, it's like a high school. Yes it is. Well, yes,
the fuck it is yeah, peoplecome and go ahead, help us
(32:28):
understand and those listening, what isthe difference you're talking about these jobs between
being a regular on the show andjust coming in and doing a one episode
guest star. Oh okay, Soyou know the show will have a principal
amount of characters. It's basically,you know, a cop, his family,
and so there's people who are likeembedded into the structure of the show.
(32:49):
They call serious regularly. They're generallythe people on the poster unless they
just unless they went the star onthe poster only you know what I'm saying,
and that happens often, and theother ones are way in the back.
Yeah. Yeah, like you knowthe first posters of CSI, those
are all the series regulars. Yeah, and you know friends, Yes,
four of them. Sex in theCity was four of them. Yeah,
you know, you know the Kageshow, whatever show you whatever you can
(33:09):
think of. You know what I'msaying. The people on the poster are
generally the landmark, the embedded charactersof the show, and everybody else after
that. Some can be recurring,like the person who works at the grocery
store could come back a lot,and sometimes that changes, like Steve Erkle
on Family Matters. He was aguest star, right, you know,
and because as fortune would have it, he became so um his his gifting,
(33:32):
his his his art became so incrediblethat he became a series regular you
know later on you know, youknow, like you know, he became
his show in a way, youknow what I mean. But he's not
on the original posters, you knowwhat I'm saying. He came on.
So that's like the difference of howone person can show up. And then
enjoined the group and as an actor, how what is how is the feeling
(33:53):
different? And the main question waswhen you're a regular, you're there most
like every day, you become familywith crew, ye, the cast,
everybody. But as a guest star, you come in different. You're a
visitor. You know. That's hard. It's it's that's why I want people
to understand it's a different world becauseyou're just the visitors someone's house. Oh
(34:16):
yeah, go for it. Ohlisten, listen, bro, listen.
It's like you're coming over to somebodyhouse with Thanksgiving and you at a family's
house. You're in there for Thanksgiving, you know, wipe your feet the
door. You know what I'm saying, like, you know, don't go
into the refrigerator without asking. Youknow what I'm saying, like, is
it okay to have you know,to go you know, I'm wanting which
way is the bathroom? You don'tknow what nothing is? Yeah, that's
(34:37):
how it is walking to someone else'shouse and all the people there that the
series regulars, the actors, theproducers, the writers are there every day,
the crews there, the guy craftservice is there. They in,
they out, They are a unit. They are hopefully a well oiled machine.
And you've been hired to come inthere and deliver something. And you
(34:57):
know nobody. You're just a guestand they depend on you because you're just
visiting. But you have to beon points. So here's my word to
any an actor who you know,to understand that structure. You have come
in to deliver a color, anote, an energy. Here is my
advice. Burn their house down.Now. Let me let me clarify burn
(35:22):
and for clarity meaning overdo it,overgive overprepare, be so ready, be
so flexible, be so kind,courteous, and when the woman or the
man calls action, give them hellyes, And let me tell you why
this is so great because you're doingyour personal best. You're living your dream.
(35:45):
You've already been hired. Now godeliver, do your fucking job.
But the people that are there everyday will love you if they're there every
day. You know how it iswhen you know when you're eating steak every
day, steak doesn't taste the same. You know that they're every day.
I've been a series regular, I'vebeen a gas, I've been a recurring
la la la lah. When you'rethere every day, when an actor comes
(36:07):
in you know what I'm saying,and lights your ass on fire. Everyone's
excited, the executive producers excited,the writer's excited. They're trying to figure
out, how can we get morefor this man or this woman or this
boy, this child. Because youwill have given. You will have given
more than you were hired to deliver, and it lights up the room.
(36:28):
It puts a smile on everyone's face. You come in ready and ready to
give. That was the most thatyou almost made me cry, because that
is you. Your analogy of thatwas beyond what I would have even described.
I love the way you help peopleunderstand that because people don't get it
unless you've been in there. Myrole on a Queen of the South.
(36:49):
It's a recurring role, you know. So they have their people that have
been there for a couple of seasons, and I'm coming in to do a
certain amount of episode, you know, And I've been as every specule I've
any gas. I'm not recourring.I've done at a bunch of times.
I'm like, I know my jobis yeah, Gazlina, Yes, they
already got a fire. Go great, here's five gallon jug a gasoline.
We're gonna burn. On day oneI landed, I have my headphones.
(37:14):
I remember day one. I wasmy job, Kerosine Paul Gaselina on an
already burning fire Swago mo fire fireYes, get them. Yeah, and
they loved it. Yeah, theprofessional people appreciate it. They do the
effort. They were like, ohman, they tell they'll tell you,
(37:37):
because sometimes serious raglers, once they'vebeen doing it, even a few seasons,
they kind of just getting the same. But then a guest star comes
and you and it's like the newsauce on the steak. You were talking
about, same steak. All ofa sudden the sauce pour some kind of
like oh, let's go. Andso it was such a great moment to
(37:58):
be with actors who are phenomenal,know, some of the most gifted access
in the world. You know,take receive your art and be like,
oh, I cannot wait. Yes, we like they would have like I
we gotta see the marvel. Bro, I'm gonna get at you. I'm
like, bro, I am neYT's go yes, give more than what
absolutely, and then too, becauseI've been on both sides as well as
(38:21):
a regular and then a guest starcomes in and they blow you away and
you're like, damn, you aregood and that was fun. Yes,
and thank you and vice versa.I've gone in and burned the house down
and then the regular come after andlike nailed that. It was a pleasant
because that hurts at some point,like can you go in as a as
a guest star and blow it uplike that, spit high fire like Dilon
(38:44):
and still but I mean not andstill but the cast is like who you
think you are? You know what? Sometimes question that's a great question.
I've never experienced that, but ohand it I mean that's I I love
that will happen. That will happen, and some people and go ahead,
(39:07):
well they may not like it.And so you you're going through your life
as a coward or a king.You're going to do what you're gonna do.
Or do you come to bow ordo you come to live your dream?
And they the choices. There's noright or wrong. I know what
I came to do. Do youcome here to do coward work? Thank
(39:27):
you? Or do you come tolive the dream? Put in your heart?
Now, they have given you thisopportunity to give your and you will.
Sometimes you will get pushed back.Sometimes certain personalities will not like how
brightly you shine? Okay, don'tyou think sometimes people lose jobs because of
that like process, Yeah, likethey will not hire they you don't get
(39:52):
the job because maybe the star ofthe show. You know, there's just
so many dynamics. Like I rememberan experience for myself, like I went
for this audition for this huge playand I just knew that I had it,
and you just know when you knowthis, you know, And when
(40:13):
I walked out, Um, Iknew they weren't going to give it to
me because of who I was goingto do the scene. And sure enough,
and the embarrassment they felt by evencalling to say why they couldn't tell
me why like I didn't get thatjob because of that. So sometimes you
(40:34):
lose opportunities. You might one opportunity, but the mechanism of going hard,
yeah, it's if even you you'redipping up that level of as long as
you don't take that and then stopdoing what you're doing, bring yourself down
to other people's levels. Stay yourpeople would love for you to change and
(40:58):
sometimes there and they're giving you pushbackand the hope that you will falter,
yes, and the hope Jackie Robinson, that you'll stop or people are very
clear with their intentions. They wouldlike you to feel like you are not
enough they're hoping to give. Itell my kids, don't let their energy
become your energy. No no,no no, don't let their mindset become
(41:21):
your mindset. Don't take they shitand put it on you. So maybe
they won't like you, and goget go get some. Yes, you
will fail up that maybe that onejob doesn't come, but don't stop because
that way of working will get you. Get it. Don't come to do
(41:42):
no coward stuff ball hard ball toyou fall and do what's in your spirit,
in your heart to give. Andyou won't be friends with everybody how
awesome. Is that that cow awaygonna get you nowhere? Neither? Maybe
that's a I'm gonna be too strong, be too strong because you are enough
and because that level of energy.Okay, I'm gonna say something. Certain
(42:15):
people think they control what comes fromGod, and they don't what comes from
the universe, and they don't,And they think they're one known can stop
what can get to you when it'syours. Not a x hex or hater
(42:39):
can stop it from getting to you. There is something greater than what they
intend for you. Do not getoff the road, Do not get out
of your ship. Do not lettheir energy become your energy. They're not
let their mindset become your mindset.If you can hold the frequency, if
you can hold your effort, ifyou can get up after each time they
(43:04):
try to block you, you willengage something because people will in positions.
The authorities sometimes think that they arethe authors of bounty, of graze,
of open doors, and they forgetthat it comes from a bigger place.
Yeah, nothing can stop you,Absolutely nothing, nothing, not an industry.
(43:32):
There is another thing that will comethrough the walls, through the stones,
through fortune to happenstance. They cannotstop you. That encapsulates already something,
something that I was going to touchon, and you just did it.
(43:55):
And in the end, it's justbeing true to yourself because in this
industry, it's all about rejections.It's all about nose, and the amount
of reasons you get rejected and getnose is limitless. But it's got a
big not the other day, holdon Huge, I was out in all
(44:15):
confidence. Sorry I didn't get amassive. Yes it does, Yes,
thank you massive. Yes, moremoney than I've ever made, Like in
one pot. Massive didn't go myways? What you work and look at
He's had a twenty five year careermassive in this town and still the biggest
(44:39):
clipbrities to the beginner, get news, reject that business. In the end,
you what you just said is whatit is. But you only can
you have control over what you do, who you are. But you bring
that's it. That must have killedyou to get to know it did kill
(45:00):
me. It did not kill me. I would love to have that money.
I would love to be in companywith the people who are part of
that project. I admire them.Yes, everything that's mine is mine.
I can't take your blessing and youcan't take mine. It doesn't work that
(45:21):
way. And these understandings for peopleto get. I can't get yours,
you also can't get mine. Icould fuck up mine, you could fuck
up yours. So there's a weave. There's a design above and what you
know, my little you know abovemy pay grade to figure out whose is,
what's what belongs to? Who Iam? Where that mine is mine,
(45:45):
My bounty is mine. I gotgo get it. You gotta go
get yours. If you can't competewith that's why I can't. There is
no I have. I have onejobs from people that have won every your
award ever given. I am inno way better than them. They are
(46:05):
in no way. I have bookedroles series regular roles. Are so many
things you shared people who didn't,who were up for the same role the
same network didn't get them. ThoseSome of these males, these man,
these people have won every award.They are far richer than Yeah, was
I better? No? It wasmine? Thank you? And they have
(46:25):
Some of these people friends of mine, have won every award that has been
created by man. Yes, everyTelevision Screen Actors Guild independent. Was I
better them? No? No,no, no, it was mine.
I was able to show up onmy day. I didn't quite my bounty
came to me. And that's whyI want every entertainer and actor to understand
(46:47):
that, Yeah, when you're gettingthese rejects, yeah, don't worry because
just continue to be you and onyour path because in the end, when
you get it, you're the oneyes. I always say, there's a
limitless amount of reasons why we getrejected, but there's only one reason why
we get it, because it's theone yes. That's it. And and
(47:12):
paraphrase that doesn't matter how many noseyou get, become immune to the aucas.
All you need is one yes.And I know it doesn't feel like
that. All you need is oneblessing will turn your entire fucking life to
all the nose No no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no no no, You're not any for these nose.
You stay the course until you getthat one yes, and that one
(47:34):
yes will turn night today. Yes, bro, that one yes, yeah,
yeah, got one yes will turnnight today will change the landscape of
your life. So don't worry aboutthe nose. Yes, and most absolutely
(47:59):
you know we're you know you thinkthat delays and defeats are assigned to stop,
and they are just not. Everychampion you admire loves a delay and
a defeat and makes them hungry.They become insatiable to get where they're going.
They know they can get there.And you take every lump and every
hit, and maybe you rest fora week, maybe you cry in bad.
(48:21):
You know, I was in NewYork. I was gonna go your
way. I was. I wasoutside my mother's apartment of all right,
man, I'm gonna take twenty fourhours and feel sad for myself. Real,
this is a true story. It'sa day after my birthday on a
(48:43):
real story. I'm not ain't jokingwith you. This should really happen.
I'm not even making nothing ENU reallyhoppen. I was like, all right,
man, I'm gonna take on.I'm gonna get some cookies from I'm
gonna go and get some lums andsome go by Kingston Tropical Bakery all two
twenty fifth and give me some yeah, I think bread, you know what
i mean, got some irash mahus, you know what I mean. I'm
(49:04):
gone give me some hard dough bread. You know, ain't gonna get me
something a black and white cookie fromthe Jewish Deli. You know what I'm
saying, And I'm gonna sitting inmy hotel room and I'm gonna be sad
for minutes because this one hurts.That would that was you killed? No,
learn to rest, not quit,right, Muhammad Ali. Learn how
to rest. So that and that'sthe lesson for this business. Not quit.
(49:25):
That's to listen. But the peoplethat have a career in this business
have that longevity, they have thelong run. They overcome those moments and
keep going and keep going. Youcan't quit now. You have to keep
going. No for the when youare the one. What's gonna happen a
lot? Yes, yes, yes, And to understand that ninety nine percent
(49:49):
of people will filter out with enoughdefeats. Yes, you know what I'm
saying, and don't If you donot stop, h you are impossible to
defeat. And this all goes fullcircle to his you are enough, you
are enough. Boom right there.Yes, some of the greatest people you
admire just didn't quit. Yes,the people exactly, and you know nervous
(50:15):
breakdowns, bankruptcies, they said,uh huh uh huh yeah, yeah,
I see that, I see thatone. I will not quit. And
they get back up and they changethe world on that get up, they
change life, the way life workson earth absolutely how they get back up.
And I feel sometimes the nose,the nose is there to test you.
(50:42):
It's not even about other people,it's about really us. Do you
really believe who you are? Doyou really believe that you're called to do
such a thing? Do you reallybelieve? You know? And it just
goes back to faith. So sometimesthe nose, majority of the time,
I should say, the nose arethere to tell who you are, your
true identity, what you're walking into. Um. Yeah, that's what I
(51:07):
got for now. Thank you.I'm applaud that I firmly understand how to
be the truth. Yeah. Yeah, everyone everyone wants to eat, you
know. You want to ease anddesigner, all right. I want to
ease into physical fitness. I wantto ease to change in my life.
I want to ease into being anastronaut, you know, like bro And
(51:27):
it creates you, it's it's it'sbuilding you. You know, at the
end of the day, the noseare building you, taking you into your
identity. You know. Um,And I think sometimes you know, because
we look at it from that person, from a negative perspective when we're just
like, oh, he is rejectingme. No one can really reject to
(51:50):
you, you know, at theend of the day, you can reject
to you, but no one canreally reject to you. You know.
It's just about honing who you are, walking your identity and know what's yours?
You know. And I feel likethose things. I feel like God
placed those things in our path tostrengthen us, to reveal us. Yes,
(52:10):
um, you know, and reallyyou know, shake us sometimes like
do you really do you really believeyou came out here to be an actor
or an actress or whatever. Youknow that we have used the word rejection
as a negative word to represent somethingthat actually when you look at it as
positive, Yeah, it's actually apositive. How many times as a know
(52:31):
has made you got you into adepression because it reminds you that knows you
got in high school and that isa great way. It's a it's a
purifier. Yeah, yes, Soit brung up an old memory, every
affirmed an old lie that you arecarrying around your heart and in your mind.
(52:58):
Burn that lie, yes, haulit for what it is. Whatever
they said to you in high schoolwas bullshit. Anywhere they were talking about.
And you are a kid. Youdidn't know any better, so you
accepted that lie. And you weren'tenough. You known't smart enough, you
weren't pretty enough. You wasn't smartenough. You wasn't gonna get it.
You wasn't white enough, You wasn'tblack enough. He wasn't enough, He
wasn't enough, he wasn't enough.And these nose trigger these old conversations.
(53:22):
You know what I'm saying, like, oh my god, you're going to
hell because of this. She's goingto hell because of that. Lies and
your nose remind you sometime of theyhit you into these depressions of these lies
you're carrying. And that's not necessarilya bad thing if you get to know
and it brings up an old triggeringmemory. You what, you have an
(53:45):
opportunity to slay something that you carryingon that you didn't even want to be
carrying. Yes, yeah, yes, you know what. You burn that
ship to the ground, get backup and go get it. Inspired me,
You've inspired me, and this isyou know how we go through life
and you know things. Yeah,but you need reminders this hour that we
(54:08):
have sat down here justin thank yousir, And it's not just for me,
it's for everybody listening. I dothis show for the people. But
no, it's not a human experience, a human experience. Thank you and
thank you for sharing this. I'mgonna finalize this with if a young boy
(54:31):
or girl came up to you todayand said, Hey, only me,
I want to i'mna be an actor. It's my passion. I want to
have the career you've had. I'veseen where you've gone, what you've done,
and I want to do that.Where do I start and how do
I get there? I have?The first thing you do is believe that
(54:52):
you can have it. Yeah,A lot of people, a lot Richard,
a lot more famous, a lotmore successful, more celebrated, to
me, has said, no,the hardest the hardest thing was not to
make a million dollars. The hardestthing was to believe that you could make
a million. H you see thatbreath. Yeah, because we all have
believe in the thing we want.The hardest thing is not actually doing it.
(55:15):
The hardest thing is to believe thatyou can do it. To make
a million dollars is not as hardas it is to believe that you have
something of value. That you canmake and generate a million dollars. Believe
that you can. Less. Brownis very famous for saying he was like,
the hardest thing was not me makinga million. It's harder was getting
(55:36):
my fucking mind, my heart tobelieve that I could, that I was
worth it, that was of value. And this is what people are dragging
around. Yes, so I tellthat young person you can. Yes,
believe you can. And the onlyway you stop going after what you want
is if the good Lord snatches thebreath out of your body, then you're
(56:00):
done. But I guarantee you ifyou make it that, come hell or
high water, I'm gonna have thisin my hand. And the only way
I will not have it is ifmy man go or my girl go.
(56:20):
You're done on earth, baby,Yes, I'm taking you back home.
Yeah, you'll have it. Thereyou go, you'll have That's the best
advice you'll have. That's so goget it. Every day you get up,
you know that you are enough,You are ready, You are enough.
Right there, that's it. Sothis is it. This is the
not like we haven't had fun already, but this is it. These the
bullet questions, just to really findsomething interesting about you. So, what
(56:45):
are three things we were finding yourgrocery carts um, granola, oat milk
um and with the other thing glutenfree pasta. It's so funny, it's
been very popular later. What areyour top three favorite bands or solo artists
of the moment of the moment.I enjoy um uh of the moment.
(57:10):
Who's uh um Elena, but asum my um uh right of this moment
is drake uh. And then theother thing is anything a Brazilian anything.
I listened to Brazilian music and Portuguesethat I never understand anything else. Gara
(57:35):
beim all these people, I listenedto Brazilian music. I wake my children
up to it every day that theyhave been a lie. And I still
don't understand the word of it.But it's the feeling. It's music.
The word music my whole. Sothat's that's very Oh, that's a good
I love that. And a wordor one sentence? What does family and
(57:58):
home mean? Do you? Everything? I mean bettans unity, healing,
and as I call it, youknow, family means outside of the people
you're genetically related to or the peopleyou marry into spiritual kinship. So you
will find people that you're not marriedto people you're not genetically related to,
(58:20):
you will find in this world spiritualkinship and above people that you're genetically related
to. The above people. Sometimeseven you marry that is your family.
Yes, and you want to pairthat together. You want to find spiritual
kinship in this in your walk inlife. And I tell you hold on
to those relationships. They will themost powerful. Absolutely, And because we're
(58:45):
still so connected to what is onestatement that will describe your twenty twenty grace?
Yeah, And the final question,if you can go back in time
for two minutes and face your littlefourth or fifth grade self, what would
(59:07):
you tell him? I would goback and I would tell him talk to
your mom and tell her it's gonnabe all right, mama. So talk
to your mama. Look up toher right now, give her a hug,
kiss on the sided cheeks, tellus, okay, mama, you
are enough. You can do allthings. And that's it. That's Alim
(59:30):
Ballard right here. Oh my god, dude, that is beyond I knew
it was going to be an amazingstilf. It is even beyond what I
even dreamed of. You brought itto the table. Inspiration love you were.
You were honest and hopeful and passionate. The passion that came through these
(59:54):
microphones today is exactly what people needto hear, what the world needs to
hear, because we need more ofthis revolving around all of us. We
have a cross of me josanmode bringingit to you. We're loving this place
and it's always intelligence. We hadAnthony as Easy. Yeah, we have
her book which is always as asIt's called beautiful and you listen to her
(01:00:20):
episode of the podcast and you've beento hear more about her story or buy
her book Beautiful. That's why Ihave it on top of the stop the
books. So we used to wesee those are all ex guest this and
then we had Anthony as Easy herewho had to leave our engagements. We
have Tony Frost over here, someonetaking the spot. This is America's podcast
(01:00:40):
or kirkis sarahs. I'm watching againthe podcast. I love you. Thank
you so much for showing us,for taking this ride with us. We'll
see you next time. Have agood night. So why you are you
(01:01:05):
now? So you are enough bysou by Soul Chole So by sol ch
Why you are by Soul chole.You are enough, by soul Chole,
(01:01:28):
my soul. Once you give yourone hundred and twenty cents, you black
on byself, by sol choble soul, by soul chole. And of this
(01:01:53):
I know for sure,