April 4, 2025 • 23 mins
Ordinary kids are excluded from organized sports
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of w FOCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio
or its employees or affiliates. Any questions or comments should
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
(00:21):
W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Sports for kids in America began with what we affectionately
called sandlot ball, where kids organized their own games, made
their own rules, and played until the sun went down.
Then came along parents.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
The National Alliance for Youth Sports was born out of
a desire to bring order to the world of organized
sports for children in America. While for the most part,
children have a great experience playing sports, far too often
parents and coaches lose perspective. This program is aimed at
bringing some of America's best experts to talk about what
(01:41):
we can do to change the atmosphere of win at
all costs and parent poor behavior to one that focuses
on children having a positive learning experience through sports. Here's
our host, Fred Ang, the founder of a National Alliance
for Youth Sports.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Good morning everybody, and thanks for being here for why
Johnny Hayes Sports, We've got a great show today with
our recreation professional from hilton Head, South Carolina. Every time
I think of hilton Head, I think of golf, but
nothing beats it but having a w REC program in
(02:22):
one of the great areas of the country. So I'd
like to introduce you to their rec supervisor and the
guy in charge of everything with U Sports, Fred Lowry.
We're welcome, Fred.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Oh, thanks for having me. Fred. It's going to be
funny here to Fred.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
So we got to pretty much announce ourselves when we
start speaking here.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
But hey, we're having a great day.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
It's beautiful here in hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Hey, let me ask you, Fred, why why did you
become a recreation professional in the first place? What drove
you to it?
Speaker 6 (02:56):
Pretty much, once I graduated high school, I kind of
now delegated towards recreation due to a former mentor just
being around and I was actually helping him with odd
jobs at the rec center, which was at a previous location,
and I enjoyed what I was doing and I just
found my calling.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Yeah, you know, I often think about the fact that
we in recreation talk about sports for kids and it
being the outdoor classroom, and I'm wondering what your thoughts
about that are. I mean, we have teachers fred that
are required to go through training for four years to
(03:40):
be a classroom teacher. Yet we have volunteer coaches that
are out there they don't have to have any training.
What do you think about that?
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Well, that's a tough one because as much as we'd
like to believe we want to train, educate, and even
you know, provide all opportunities for the volunteer coaches to
learn and flourish in that field, the challenge we have
is just just that they being volunteers not getting paid.
(04:11):
And then the challenge is also how do we get
them involved when they know that sometimes there may be
a case where parents and or officiators I'm sorry officials
are against them, or at least they think so. And
with the current climate where we see not only coaches,
(04:31):
but especially the parents jumping out of the stands and
attacking them, that's the challenge we have with recruiting volunteers
because they don't want to put themselves in that position.
But yes, they do need to be trained and educated.
I don't have the exact.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Answer for it, but I do know we're working on it.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Give me an example of one of those parents jumping
out of the stands.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
My most recent youth flag football se I didn't have
a parent jump out of the stands or onto the field. However,
this particular parent was continuously chirping at the officials, and.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I'm on the sideline supervising.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
And finally I stopped the game and I told all
the parents.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
I addressed the entire field.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
If you continue, what's going to happen is I'm going
to the vehicle, I'm gonna get another whistle, I'm gonna
get a ref shirt, and you're going to come out here.
Because nobody's perfect. These officials don't have anything in the
game by calling it one way or the other. We're
all human, and if a call is made that you
think is bad, live with it.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
It's not the end of the world. This is recreation.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
I try to also, excuse me, let them know what
the term recreation means, because a lot of times I
think they get confused just because it's sports, it's supposed
to be ultra.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Competitive or travel.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Recreation and definition is for fun and in so that's
been my emphasis on trying to better educate parents.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
You mentioned the word travel there, and as a former
recreation verson, when I hear that word travel, I kind
of shiver because I think back to the day when
kids would sign up to come out and play sports,
their parents sign them up to come out and play.
Everybody got a chance to play. And now I look
(06:29):
at fields. I look at a field right across from
my house there that is vacant except for the time
when they have the elite or travel teams there that
come in and they take over the field with these
quasi professionals acting as coaches. What do you think of that?
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Well, again, it's one of those things that we as
parts of recreation professionals need to do a better job
in educating our public and our client based on the
differences between what we do as recreation professionals versus travel.
(07:07):
There's a place for both. But they're educating them, I
think will help. Will it eliminate it? I don't think so.
But I think if they have a full understanding that
this kid, no matter what skill set that kid has
should have the same amount of play time and opportunity
as the one who's being recruited by XYZ University.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
But how do you do that with You have a
kid that comes out and is just a mediocre player
and maybe that's all he wants to be or what
she wants to be, and all of a sudden, you know,
the facilities or everybody is aiming and telling them, no,
(07:54):
you really got to get up to this level of
the travel team. So the pressure is on the case
and the kid either quits or there's no program for them.
The travel teams are just the focus of everything.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
What Fortunately, we don't do that.
Speaker 6 (08:15):
No matter what the skill set is the kid has,
they're going to be accepted here. And when there's a
case where we see coaches like you said, who are
just focusing on winning and making sure the best players
are playing all the time or whatever, we step in
as management and let them know, coach, this is our philosophy,
(08:38):
this is what you should be doing. You volunteer to
coach with the understanding that everyone should be playing equal time. Yes,
I know you want to win, but that should not
be your focus and if that coach.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
Doesn't adjust, we remove that coach as a volunteer.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
There's maybe a question what role do you think winning
plays for kids in sports?
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Unfortunately, right now it plays too big of a role.
But I think that emphasis or our challenges, we got
to change the mindsets of the parents because the kids
don't know going into it that it's all about winning.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
They only find that out.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
Because of either their parents I don't care, you got
to do whatever it takes to win, or their coach
says that. If that coach or parent doesn't say that,
that kid is out there to have fun with and
or against their friends.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So the scholarship thing and pro level of whatnot? What
do you think of that when the parent's telling a
kid that's eight years old, you're going to make it.
You got to do this for a scholarship because we
don't have the money. In second, if we make you
practice year round, then you're going to have an opportunity
(10:05):
to get to the pros. Right.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
Well, they can say that, but you and I both
know that's not a reality. In fact, practicing year round
studies have shown that does more harm than good to
a child.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
Yeah, we did a study in Cincinnati FRED a few
years back, we had six to eight year old tested
on the skills of catching and throwing, hitting, and you
know what, forty nine percent of those kids didn't meet
the minimum requirement to be able to be successful playing sports.
(10:48):
So here you have a kid that's going out there
that doesn't meet the requirements, and yet the coaches don't
know that. They just think that they're a good ballplayer.
What happens to those kids see that?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Unfortunately, we lose him and too many times.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
And I'll give you a story a previous agency I
worked for, I noticed a kid in baseball just looking
like he was not into it. I didn't really know
the kid because I was new to that community. However,
I got my colleague who grew up there. I had
my colleague speak to the kid after a baseball game
(11:30):
to find out why he looks like he's disinterested. Come
to find out, the kid really didn't want to play baseball.
He was only out there because his dad, who was
a former Major leaguer, is forcing him to play baseball.
And I told I tried to tell my colleague just,
you know, see if you can talk to the dad,
(11:52):
because again, you know the guy I don't. You can't
force it on the kid because you're just going to
burn him out. And even if they're trying to please you,
at that point, somewhere down the line is going to
have a negative impact on that child's life.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Yeah, you hit on a really important button there. I
think that back to the original question about being in
you know, it's forth being the outdoor education and indoor
education of being in school. Sitting in a classroom. When
you think about what you just said, makes a big
(12:30):
difference because that lesson that that father who's a former professional,
teaching that kid that he's worthless, destroying his self esteem
because he's not meeting the father's expectation. Can you imagine
(12:50):
what happens when that kid goes home and he says,
I don't like baseball, right, all right? And so that's
the saddest part. So, Fred, why do you think Why
do you think kids come out for sports in the
first place?
Speaker 5 (13:09):
A couple of reasons.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
One, their friends may have asked them to, or they
saw or heard of their friends playing a particular sport
and they want to give it a try because they
want to be around their friends. Another reason could be
what we just touched on a parent may have been
a former athlete and say, hey, I want you to
play this sport and I want you to be the best.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
At this sport.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
Those are the two main reasons kids come out for
a sport activity. Yeah, it's just finding that balance between
do they really want to be there or are they
out there because of someone else?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yeah, that's right, because of someone else. I remember saying that.
People would say, you know, we can't train volunteer coaches
and what not because we'll lose them all, and being
a w REC professional like you are, I remember saying,
now that ain't going to happen, because as long as
(14:14):
Billy Jones hads a father and Mary Smith as a mother,
they're going to be out there coaching their kids because
that's what they want to do. They want to be
out there with their kid to make sure that they
don't sit on the bench and then do what they
want to see their child become an athlete. And nothing
wrong with that, But what is your department there? I
(14:36):
know you're one of the top ones in the country
according to our department at the National Alliance for Youth Sports,
But what does your department do to train those coaches
to help them understand all of this we're talking about.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
One.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
We have coaches clinics for all of the respective sports
that we do. Myself or one of my colleagues will
train these coaches too. We put on a little tutorial
where we show them videos from organizations like Nay's or
NRPA about the climate of recreation sports, and with that
(15:16):
we try to show them this is what we're trying
to accomplish, this is what we don't want to be.
And that's where we get into a situation where a
coach and a parent has gotten too involved or to
engage with it and it becomes confrontational or even physical.
(15:37):
So we do host training for our coaches.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Have you ever kicked the coach out of the program?
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Absolutely? Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Give me one example.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
A couple of years back, one of my contact football
coaches or he lost the first game of the season
by a large margin, and I guess, and I wasn't
around to hear it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I just got it after the fact.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Apparently he was berating the players and stuff on the
sideline the.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Following Monday at practice.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
This is when I discovered what happened when none of
the kids on that age group showed up for practice.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Apparently they had.
Speaker 6 (16:20):
All decided to quit because of that coach. I called
the parents that evening. I went in, got the roster,
called all of the parents and found out what had happened.
And basically, because of his berating those kids, none of
them wanted to play. So what I assured the parents
is one that coach would no longer be here. I
(16:42):
had suspended the coach for the remainder of the season.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Two.
Speaker 6 (16:46):
I will step in and be the head coach, even
though I tried not to because I got too many
things going on, but I assured them I would be
the head coach and take over. And once I did,
I met with the kids and the parents. They came
to this the next day and we all had a meeting,
parents and kids, and I explained to them what my
(17:06):
expectations are. The assistant coaches, I explained to them what
my expectations are, and you know, lo and behold. The
next two games we won because I told them, win
and lose, don't worry about making a mistake, have fun,
do your best. I'm not going to say anything negative
to you again. We won the next two games, but
(17:28):
then we lost the last four games of the season. However,
none of those kids quit.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah, that's a testament to your getting involved and probably
why you are what you are in the recreation field.
I'll leave you with one question, if the last one
or maybe a difficult one to answer, but you got
a superintendent of schools in I don't know what county
(17:57):
the Hilton Head is in, whatever that county is. Why
isn't your job is the superintendent there of all those
kids playing sports just as important as that superintendent of schools.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
But on the other end, maybe some people think so,
but I don't know. I don't have the answer to that.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Yeah, most people wouldn't think so. You're right because most
people don't think of sports as education and all of
the things that kids are learning positive or negative. And
that's that's why we're involved in all of this, because
we see so many positive things that happen to kids,
(18:47):
and then you see we see the things that are
destroyed in the kids. So, you know, do you have
any of the last comments that you want to make
about being a certified you sports administrator.
Speaker 6 (19:01):
Well, the one thing Fred, and I've been harping on
this throughout, I have taken it upon myself as a
personal challenge to better educate our industry and the parents within. Again,
it's not gonna solve the problem, but hopefully it helps
if we do a better job in educating our consumer
(19:25):
base on the differences between travel ball and what we do.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
And so I'm on a personal mission.
Speaker 6 (19:32):
To educate as many people as possible about the differences
and what we should be focusing on in recreation.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
What do you intrigue me when you say the consumer base?
Who do you mean by consumer base?
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Oh? Just our patents, our participants and the parents.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
How about South Carolina? How about the country recreation people
like you?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Yeah, absolutely, I'm trying to.
Speaker 6 (20:03):
I'm trying to speak at not only state conference, but
even the national conference. They haven't accepted my proposal yet,
but I'm going to keep pushing it until they do.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Well, maybe I can help push it for you. So, Fred,
I wanted to thank you very much for being on
today and enlightening the people. I'm just happy to tell
you that now that our show is going to be
going out to twelve five hundred people, so they can
get a message that you're trying to deliver. Maybe we
(20:36):
can get where you're talking about.
Speaker 6 (20:38):
So, and I appreciate this opportunity in this platform. I
just wish my voice wasn't as bad because I'm trying
to fight off this bug here. So normally I have
a lighter voice, if you will right now sounding like
Barry White.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
You want listening phrases of that song.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
If I could seeing, I wouldn't be in a recreation.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Uh well, Fred, we used to have and you may
have seen it. We we have what we call they's
the press box or each week we talk about all
these different things that go on and and uh, I
want I don't know whether we can show anything or
we have to go to a commercial and end it.
(21:25):
But each week we do that. And last week I
had somebody that was on the we show the different
headlines and I said, this isn't headlines from just you
know this year. We do this every week we talk
about all stories and the person is like, what you're
(21:46):
kidding me? So anyway, we can't do it. But again,
thanks Fred for being on.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
Appreciate a lot, Thanks for having me vert you have
a great weekend.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You too, All right, by bye? Well, there we have
and Fred Lauer is one of our key people that
are out there in the parts of the recreation field.
So I want to thank you for being with us
this weekend, and you have a good weekend, and we're
(22:17):
going to close with I think maybe a commercial here.
Speaker 7 (22:23):
Fred Ans Billy Jones's Father is more than just a
story about a boy and his father. It's an eye
opening journey into the emotional struggles faced by children in
the world of competitive sports. As you turn the pages,
you'll see how unrealistic expectations and unchecked ambitions can shape, mold,
(22:44):
and sometimes break a child's spirit. This book dives deep
into the human experiences that resonate with so many and
calls on us to reflect on the roles we play
in the lives of young athletes.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
This program is sponsored by Sir Duff Publishing in the
interest or better Sports for Kids, Better Kids for Life.
In this best selling book, a child, while failing to
live up to his father's expectations, is shamed and humiliated
beyond belief. He vows to never allow his own son
to face the same
The topics and opinions expressed in the following show are
solely those of the hosts and their guests and not
those of w FOCY Radio. It's employees are affiliates. We
make no recommendations or endorsements for radio show programs, services,
or products mentioned on air or on our web. No liability,
explicit or implied shall be extended to W FOURCY Radio
or its employees or affiliates. Any questions or comments should
be directed to those show hosts. Thank you for choosing
(00:21):
W FOURCY Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Sports for kids in America began with what we affectionately
called sandlot ball, where kids organized their own games, made
their own rules, and played until the sun went down.
Then came along parents.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
The National Alliance for Youth Sports was born out of
a desire to bring order to the world of organized
sports for children in America. While for the most part,
children have a great experience playing sports, far too often
parents and coaches lose perspective. This program is aimed at
bringing some of America's best experts to talk about what
(01:41):
we can do to change the atmosphere of win at
all costs and parent poor behavior to one that focuses
on children having a positive learning experience through sports. Here's
our host, Fred Ang, the founder of a National Alliance
for Youth Sports.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Good morning everybody, and thanks for being here for why
Johnny Hayes Sports, We've got a great show today with
our recreation professional from hilton Head, South Carolina. Every time
I think of hilton Head, I think of golf, but
nothing beats it but having a w REC program in
(02:22):
one of the great areas of the country. So I'd
like to introduce you to their rec supervisor and the
guy in charge of everything with U Sports, Fred Lowry.
We're welcome, Fred.
Speaker 5 (02:33):
Oh, thanks for having me. Fred. It's going to be
funny here to Fred.
Speaker 6 (02:36):
So we got to pretty much announce ourselves when we
start speaking here.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
But hey, we're having a great day.
Speaker 6 (02:43):
It's beautiful here in hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
Hey, let me ask you, Fred, why why did you
become a recreation professional in the first place? What drove
you to it?
Speaker 6 (02:56):
Pretty much, once I graduated high school, I kind of
now delegated towards recreation due to a former mentor just
being around and I was actually helping him with odd
jobs at the rec center, which was at a previous location,
and I enjoyed what I was doing and I just
found my calling.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Yeah, you know, I often think about the fact that
we in recreation talk about sports for kids and it
being the outdoor classroom, and I'm wondering what your thoughts
about that are. I mean, we have teachers fred that
are required to go through training for four years to
(03:40):
be a classroom teacher. Yet we have volunteer coaches that
are out there they don't have to have any training.
What do you think about that?
Speaker 6 (03:48):
Well, that's a tough one because as much as we'd
like to believe we want to train, educate, and even
you know, provide all opportunities for the volunteer coaches to
learn and flourish in that field, the challenge we have
is just just that they being volunteers not getting paid.
(04:11):
And then the challenge is also how do we get
them involved when they know that sometimes there may be
a case where parents and or officiators I'm sorry officials
are against them, or at least they think so. And
with the current climate where we see not only coaches,
(04:31):
but especially the parents jumping out of the stands and
attacking them, that's the challenge we have with recruiting volunteers
because they don't want to put themselves in that position.
But yes, they do need to be trained and educated.
I don't have the exact.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
Answer for it, but I do know we're working on it.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
Give me an example of one of those parents jumping
out of the stands.
Speaker 6 (04:57):
My most recent youth flag football se I didn't have
a parent jump out of the stands or onto the field. However,
this particular parent was continuously chirping at the officials, and.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
I'm on the sideline supervising.
Speaker 6 (05:13):
And finally I stopped the game and I told all
the parents.
Speaker 5 (05:16):
I addressed the entire field.
Speaker 6 (05:18):
If you continue, what's going to happen is I'm going
to the vehicle, I'm gonna get another whistle, I'm gonna
get a ref shirt, and you're going to come out here.
Because nobody's perfect. These officials don't have anything in the
game by calling it one way or the other. We're
all human, and if a call is made that you
think is bad, live with it.
Speaker 5 (05:38):
It's not the end of the world. This is recreation.
Speaker 6 (05:41):
I try to also, excuse me, let them know what
the term recreation means, because a lot of times I
think they get confused just because it's sports, it's supposed
to be ultra.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Competitive or travel.
Speaker 6 (05:56):
Recreation and definition is for fun and in so that's
been my emphasis on trying to better educate parents.
Speaker 4 (06:04):
You mentioned the word travel there, and as a former
recreation verson, when I hear that word travel, I kind
of shiver because I think back to the day when
kids would sign up to come out and play sports,
their parents sign them up to come out and play.
Everybody got a chance to play. And now I look
(06:29):
at fields. I look at a field right across from
my house there that is vacant except for the time
when they have the elite or travel teams there that
come in and they take over the field with these
quasi professionals acting as coaches. What do you think of that?
Speaker 6 (06:46):
Well, again, it's one of those things that we as
parts of recreation professionals need to do a better job
in educating our public and our client based on the
differences between what we do as recreation professionals versus travel.
(07:07):
There's a place for both. But they're educating them, I
think will help. Will it eliminate it? I don't think so.
But I think if they have a full understanding that
this kid, no matter what skill set that kid has
should have the same amount of play time and opportunity
as the one who's being recruited by XYZ University.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
But how do you do that with You have a
kid that comes out and is just a mediocre player
and maybe that's all he wants to be or what
she wants to be, and all of a sudden, you know,
the facilities or everybody is aiming and telling them, no,
(07:54):
you really got to get up to this level of
the travel team. So the pressure is on the case
and the kid either quits or there's no program for them.
The travel teams are just the focus of everything.
Speaker 5 (08:11):
What Fortunately, we don't do that.
Speaker 6 (08:15):
No matter what the skill set is the kid has,
they're going to be accepted here. And when there's a
case where we see coaches like you said, who are
just focusing on winning and making sure the best players
are playing all the time or whatever, we step in
as management and let them know, coach, this is our philosophy,
(08:38):
this is what you should be doing. You volunteer to
coach with the understanding that everyone should be playing equal time. Yes,
I know you want to win, but that should not
be your focus and if that coach.
Speaker 5 (08:52):
Doesn't adjust, we remove that coach as a volunteer.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
There's maybe a question what role do you think winning
plays for kids in sports?
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Unfortunately, right now it plays too big of a role.
But I think that emphasis or our challenges, we got
to change the mindsets of the parents because the kids
don't know going into it that it's all about winning.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
They only find that out.
Speaker 6 (09:27):
Because of either their parents I don't care, you got
to do whatever it takes to win, or their coach
says that. If that coach or parent doesn't say that,
that kid is out there to have fun with and
or against their friends.
Speaker 4 (09:43):
So the scholarship thing and pro level of whatnot? What
do you think of that when the parent's telling a
kid that's eight years old, you're going to make it.
You got to do this for a scholarship because we
don't have the money. In second, if we make you
practice year round, then you're going to have an opportunity
(10:05):
to get to the pros. Right.
Speaker 6 (10:10):
Well, they can say that, but you and I both
know that's not a reality. In fact, practicing year round
studies have shown that does more harm than good to
a child.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
Yeah, we did a study in Cincinnati FRED a few
years back, we had six to eight year old tested
on the skills of catching and throwing, hitting, and you
know what, forty nine percent of those kids didn't meet
the minimum requirement to be able to be successful playing sports.
(10:48):
So here you have a kid that's going out there
that doesn't meet the requirements, and yet the coaches don't
know that. They just think that they're a good ballplayer.
What happens to those kids see that?
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Unfortunately, we lose him and too many times.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
And I'll give you a story a previous agency I
worked for, I noticed a kid in baseball just looking
like he was not into it. I didn't really know
the kid because I was new to that community. However,
I got my colleague who grew up there. I had
my colleague speak to the kid after a baseball game
(11:30):
to find out why he looks like he's disinterested. Come
to find out, the kid really didn't want to play baseball.
He was only out there because his dad, who was
a former Major leaguer, is forcing him to play baseball.
And I told I tried to tell my colleague just,
you know, see if you can talk to the dad,
(11:52):
because again, you know the guy I don't. You can't
force it on the kid because you're just going to
burn him out. And even if they're trying to please you,
at that point, somewhere down the line is going to
have a negative impact on that child's life.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
Yeah, you hit on a really important button there. I
think that back to the original question about being in
you know, it's forth being the outdoor education and indoor
education of being in school. Sitting in a classroom. When
you think about what you just said, makes a big
(12:30):
difference because that lesson that that father who's a former professional,
teaching that kid that he's worthless, destroying his self esteem
because he's not meeting the father's expectation. Can you imagine
(12:50):
what happens when that kid goes home and he says,
I don't like baseball, right, all right? And so that's
the saddest part. So, Fred, why do you think Why
do you think kids come out for sports in the
first place?
Speaker 5 (13:09):
A couple of reasons.
Speaker 6 (13:10):
One, their friends may have asked them to, or they
saw or heard of their friends playing a particular sport
and they want to give it a try because they
want to be around their friends. Another reason could be
what we just touched on a parent may have been
a former athlete and say, hey, I want you to
play this sport and I want you to be the best.
Speaker 5 (13:30):
At this sport.
Speaker 6 (13:33):
Those are the two main reasons kids come out for
a sport activity. Yeah, it's just finding that balance between
do they really want to be there or are they
out there because of someone else?
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yeah, that's right, because of someone else. I remember saying that.
People would say, you know, we can't train volunteer coaches
and what not because we'll lose them all, and being
a w REC professional like you are, I remember saying,
now that ain't going to happen, because as long as
(14:14):
Billy Jones hads a father and Mary Smith as a mother,
they're going to be out there coaching their kids because
that's what they want to do. They want to be
out there with their kid to make sure that they
don't sit on the bench and then do what they
want to see their child become an athlete. And nothing
wrong with that, But what is your department there? I
(14:36):
know you're one of the top ones in the country
according to our department at the National Alliance for Youth Sports,
But what does your department do to train those coaches
to help them understand all of this we're talking about.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
One.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
We have coaches clinics for all of the respective sports
that we do. Myself or one of my colleagues will
train these coaches too. We put on a little tutorial
where we show them videos from organizations like Nay's or
NRPA about the climate of recreation sports, and with that
(15:16):
we try to show them this is what we're trying
to accomplish, this is what we don't want to be.
And that's where we get into a situation where a
coach and a parent has gotten too involved or to
engage with it and it becomes confrontational or even physical.
(15:37):
So we do host training for our coaches.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Have you ever kicked the coach out of the program?
Speaker 5 (15:43):
Absolutely? Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Give me one example.
Speaker 6 (15:53):
A couple of years back, one of my contact football
coaches or he lost the first game of the season
by a large margin, and I guess, and I wasn't
around to hear it.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
I just got it after the fact.
Speaker 6 (16:08):
Apparently he was berating the players and stuff on the
sideline the.
Speaker 5 (16:12):
Following Monday at practice.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
This is when I discovered what happened when none of
the kids on that age group showed up for practice.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
Apparently they had.
Speaker 6 (16:20):
All decided to quit because of that coach. I called
the parents that evening. I went in, got the roster,
called all of the parents and found out what had happened.
And basically, because of his berating those kids, none of
them wanted to play. So what I assured the parents
is one that coach would no longer be here. I
(16:42):
had suspended the coach for the remainder of the season.
Speaker 5 (16:45):
Two.
Speaker 6 (16:46):
I will step in and be the head coach, even
though I tried not to because I got too many
things going on, but I assured them I would be
the head coach and take over. And once I did,
I met with the kids and the parents. They came
to this the next day and we all had a meeting,
parents and kids, and I explained to them what my
(17:06):
expectations are. The assistant coaches, I explained to them what
my expectations are, and you know, lo and behold. The
next two games we won because I told them, win
and lose, don't worry about making a mistake, have fun,
do your best. I'm not going to say anything negative
to you again. We won the next two games, but
(17:28):
then we lost the last four games of the season. However,
none of those kids quit.
Speaker 4 (17:34):
Yeah, that's a testament to your getting involved and probably
why you are what you are in the recreation field.
I'll leave you with one question, if the last one
or maybe a difficult one to answer, but you got
a superintendent of schools in I don't know what county
(17:57):
the Hilton Head is in, whatever that county is. Why
isn't your job is the superintendent there of all those
kids playing sports just as important as that superintendent of schools.
Speaker 5 (18:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (18:17):
But on the other end, maybe some people think so,
but I don't know. I don't have the answer to that.
Speaker 4 (18:26):
Yeah, most people wouldn't think so. You're right because most
people don't think of sports as education and all of
the things that kids are learning positive or negative. And
that's that's why we're involved in all of this, because
we see so many positive things that happen to kids,
(18:47):
and then you see we see the things that are
destroyed in the kids. So, you know, do you have
any of the last comments that you want to make
about being a certified you sports administrator.
Speaker 6 (19:01):
Well, the one thing Fred, and I've been harping on
this throughout, I have taken it upon myself as a
personal challenge to better educate our industry and the parents within. Again,
it's not gonna solve the problem, but hopefully it helps
if we do a better job in educating our consumer
(19:25):
base on the differences between travel ball and what we do.
Speaker 5 (19:30):
And so I'm on a personal mission.
Speaker 6 (19:32):
To educate as many people as possible about the differences
and what we should be focusing on in recreation.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
What do you intrigue me when you say the consumer base?
Who do you mean by consumer base?
Speaker 5 (19:47):
Oh? Just our patents, our participants and the parents.
Speaker 4 (19:51):
How about South Carolina? How about the country recreation people
like you?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:58):
Yeah, absolutely, I'm trying to.
Speaker 6 (20:03):
I'm trying to speak at not only state conference, but
even the national conference. They haven't accepted my proposal yet,
but I'm going to keep pushing it until they do.
Speaker 4 (20:15):
Well, maybe I can help push it for you. So, Fred,
I wanted to thank you very much for being on
today and enlightening the people. I'm just happy to tell
you that now that our show is going to be
going out to twelve five hundred people, so they can
get a message that you're trying to deliver. Maybe we
(20:36):
can get where you're talking about.
Speaker 6 (20:38):
So, and I appreciate this opportunity in this platform. I
just wish my voice wasn't as bad because I'm trying
to fight off this bug here. So normally I have
a lighter voice, if you will right now sounding like
Barry White.
Speaker 4 (20:57):
You want listening phrases of that song.
Speaker 5 (21:01):
If I could seeing, I wouldn't be in a recreation.
Speaker 4 (21:04):
Uh well, Fred, we used to have and you may
have seen it. We we have what we call they's
the press box or each week we talk about all
these different things that go on and and uh, I
want I don't know whether we can show anything or
we have to go to a commercial and end it.
(21:25):
But each week we do that. And last week I
had somebody that was on the we show the different
headlines and I said, this isn't headlines from just you
know this year. We do this every week we talk
about all stories and the person is like, what you're
(21:46):
kidding me? So anyway, we can't do it. But again,
thanks Fred for being on.
Speaker 6 (21:52):
Appreciate a lot, Thanks for having me vert you have
a great weekend.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
You too, All right, by bye? Well, there we have
and Fred Lauer is one of our key people that
are out there in the parts of the recreation field.
So I want to thank you for being with us
this weekend, and you have a good weekend, and we're
(22:17):
going to close with I think maybe a commercial here.
Speaker 7 (22:23):
Fred Ans Billy Jones's Father is more than just a
story about a boy and his father. It's an eye
opening journey into the emotional struggles faced by children in
the world of competitive sports. As you turn the pages,
you'll see how unrealistic expectations and unchecked ambitions can shape, mold,
(22:44):
and sometimes break a child's spirit. This book dives deep
into the human experiences that resonate with so many and
calls on us to reflect on the roles we play
in the lives of young athletes.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
This program is sponsored by Sir Duff Publishing in the
interest or better Sports for Kids, Better Kids for Life.
In this best selling book, a child, while failing to
live up to his father's expectations, is shamed and humiliated
beyond belief. He vows to never allow his own son
to face the same
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