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July 21, 2025 15 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to Why we Do what we Do. Welcome
to Why we Do what we Do Mini. I'm your
host Abraham and I'm Shane. We are a psychology podcast.
We talk about the things that humans and non human

(00:25):
animals do and why they do them. And on Monday's
we release these short episodes where we do a quick
dive into a topic, hopefully quick, and we get out
of there and go about your day. So we're shooting
for I think you know, we had a nice string
of like short ones. We're around like ten to twelve minutes.
I'm gonna shoot for us being done with this one

(00:45):
and fifteen, which means I need to keep my preamble
really short. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome.
I hope that you enjoy what you hear today. And
if you like to support us, you can join us
on Patreon, like and subscribe, rate and review, tell a friend,
et cetera. I'll talk more about those at the end
of this discussion. I feel like there's more to say.
What am I missing?

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Support us and anyway we can check out our website
for things listen to other shows. The Mini format is
short form format, so there are two episodes every week.
This is a shorter one, there is also a longer one.
Enjoy them both, enjoy them all.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Yes, all right, yeah, thank you for that. And then
if you're joining us for the first time, I hope
you enjoy this. If you're a returning listener, thank you
for coming back. And you know we'll get through that
stuff more in more detail at the end, so we'll
jump in. Okay, ready, Yeah, let's do it and go okay.
In America, a lot of people own cars. Some believe
it's because we have embraced the personal car as a

(01:36):
symbol of our value of independence. Some believe it is
because we have pretty weak public transportation and infrastructure. Some
believe the car companies have made it their mission to
push the agenda of owning one or more personal cars.
And some believe that it is because our country is
just gigantic and that's just one way that you can
get around in a way that works for your schedule
and mobility. Probably all of those are true to an extent,

(02:00):
but that is where we find ourselves in the era
where in the United States, so so so many people
have a car or more than one car.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yes, the point is that many of us get behind
the wheel of a vehicle nearly every single day, and
we often do so with passengers. Sometimes those passengers feel
the need to, to varying degrees coach the behavior of
the driver. And these are not people who are learning.
These are drivers who are experienced. So why are some
people backseat drivers? How does this affect driving? And how

(02:28):
do drivers actually feel about it?

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah? So, as the one thing I did forget is
I didn't mention we were talking about backseat driving as
a thing. We've talked about driving and other capacities and
we're talking about it in this capacity now. All right,
So backseat driving? What is it? It has come to
refer to any instance in which a passenger is providing,
usually unsolicited and often unwanted, advice and criticisms of the

(02:54):
driver's behavior. Although called back seat quote unquote, it really
just refers to any passenger. They might also be in
the front passenger seat, but just to refer to like
somebody who is a passenger offering quote unquote, offering providing
this unsolicited feedback and guidance and coaching that is mostly
unwanted and unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah, so let's go look a couple of different ways It
can be criticizing the driver's decisions, telling them when and
where to turn, complaining about speed, whether they're going too
fast or too slow, gasping, flinching, exclaiming and reacting semedely
to strong breaking quick turns, or being closed to things,
pressing imaginary brake pedals, advising which lane to be in,
telling the driver when the lights turn green, interfering with

(03:37):
the music, swearing at, gesticulating toward or commenting on other drivers,
reading road signs as they pass, engaging in road rage
on behalf of the driver, waving at other drivers to
go as or as a thanks, holding their hands over
their face, or disagreeing with the navigation system, among other things.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yes, if you were doing some of those things, you
might be a backseat driver. A chance, you know you're
a backseat driver, but there's also a good chance that
you don't. But if you find yourself doing those things
when you're not the person driving the car, then you
might be a backseat driver. H many backseat drivers. Essentially,
So we talked about, you know, this is why we
do what we do. That's our show. Yeah, and many
backsat drivers cite as their reason for doing this a

(04:19):
desire for control and relatedly a sense of fear about
being a passenger and something bad happening. Now, I do
think it's worth pointing out like being quote unquote in
control is kind of a nebulous concept. That is, when
you start really trying to scrutinize, it difficult to pin down.
So let's do our best to understand what that means here.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, I think we'll can interpret this to mean that
for some people that in a hypothetical situation in which
things go poorly, the person would feel that a they
did speak up and did what they could to have
mitigated the outcome, or b that if they didn't speak up, then.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
They are somewhat to blame for the outcome.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Right, So it's more like being an active participant in
the situation which they find themselves in, rather than being
in total control of the.

Speaker 1 (04:59):
Situation or like being a victim of the situation. You know,
it's like the feeling like they have a responsibility there,
if you will, to some extent being charitable.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Right.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
Alternatively, control could mean that they prefer the outcome to
have the outcomes of situations be directly related to their
specific actions when they approach an intersection at which they
are turning, their physical movements guide the car along the
path they wanted to travel. When someone else does this,
they're still trying to as passengers control the car's path, speed,
and direction, although they're now doing so through vocal prompts

(05:32):
instead of physical movements. So they're just their need to
have their actions dictate the events as they take place
right now.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Some people have grown up with backseat driving and so
learned or believe that this is how you're supposed to
behave as the passenger in the car with others. I
have met these people. Abraham has also met these people.
Some may even they might be a little frustrated with
others don't reciprocate their passenger feedback, like you know, I
think this is probably rare to non existent, But I
imagine there are some folks that are like pretty irritated

(06:02):
that a driver's not listening to what they're saying.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Or alternatively that like they want people to also be
a backseat driver to them when they're driving. I don't
think that. I don't think that there's very many people
who wants to. Matter of fact, I think the number
is basically zero. There's probably one person who wants to
have someone who's shouting over their shoulder, sure at what
they're supposed to do. Maybe two, but like there's not
very many, but it might exist, right, Okay. Some may

(06:27):
have grown up around situations in which they were dependent
on to constantly be giving backseat coaching in many aspects
of their lives, and a car is just one of
those places, meaning that like they are someone who grow
up expected to be jumping in to tell people what
to do, to like sort of lead and guide and
have things be under their direction. And that might be

(06:49):
for a variety of reasons, but like, let's just say
you imagine you grew up in a household with somebody
who has some kind of impairment or disability, and that
that person then depends on the one of the children
household to sort of take control and tell them what
to do and what things to do and when to
do them. And so like their life both in the
car and out of it means like they're just sort

(07:10):
of telling people what to do all the time, and
that's how they grew up.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, and then some people like I know that, like
in my family, we've got backseat drivers that like the
mess of the music. But I'm so thankful that I
don't have somebody who wants to just turn the radio
station just to ads. Okay, and so we're back and
we're talking about how people grew up with backseat driving situations.

(07:34):
So far, we've talked about people growing up and watching this,
some people expecting this. So some people do it because
they are backseat drivers, because they feel like they're being helpful.
They're attempting to provide guidance to assist the driver in
their taxing burden of navigating roadways, which they evidently cannot.

Speaker 3 (07:51):
Do without the aid of this particular passenger.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
So we need a navigator to get through to get
to the Starbucks.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
And without that navigator, we just don't just never make
it from point A to point B.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Also, remember that one of the reasons that people do
this is that, to some extent it works. They will
often say something that you're about to do anyway, and
then you do it. So from their perspective, they said
a thing, and then it happened the way that they
said it, or else it might affect your driving behavior
in other ways, such as causing you to slow down
or speed up, or change lanes. If for no other

(08:23):
reason than to make them shut up, although ironically this
will make them do it more, and so again, they
are likely to do this backseat driving thing because it works.
It's effective, right.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
And there's also the quote unquote illusion of control effect,
in which people believe that it caused certain outcomes essentially
through force of will. So when surveyed, many believe that
if they were in control their vehicle, they would be
able to prevent an accident from happening, even when that
accident isn't their fault. Thus, many people believe that their
driving behavior is better than that of their driver, and
therefore the driving advice is needed.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah, because then they would be able to prevent bad
things from happening. Now, to be fair, there are lots
of horrifyingly bad drivers out there, and it is possible
that for in some of these or many of these instances,
the criticizems are well founded and necessary and actually helpful
in some cases, probably not even many, I think I
said many. Probably not many In a few, small, tiny

(09:18):
handful of cases that might be the case.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
Sure, sure, but I think it's important to talk about
what it looks like for the driver themselves, right, so
we know as drivers that there's going to be those
backseat drivers, those passengers that are going to try to
give us advice. But I'm sure that we've all experienced it,
and I'm sure that we've been annoyed. But you know,
the beautiful thing about human science is that we like
to study things, and.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
So we studied this, right.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
True, So a survey of over two thousand drivers returned
that the overwhelming majority of people report finding backseat driving
quote supremely annoying.

Speaker 3 (09:50):
I love that metric, by the way.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
That was the actual thing that they reported.

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to do more studies where
I'm measuring on a level of like mildly annoying.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
To supremely annoy how annoying? Something that is right? That's
my favorite. Now.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
Now to put it bluntly, drivers pretty universally hated backseat driving.
Hate it, find it supremely annoying, and they hate it with.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
A capital H.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
They find an annoying, disrespectful route of notus, dangerous, frustrating,
and insulting.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
The driver will point out that one a lot of
coaching that they get as about things they are already
doing or about to do anyway. Two, it communicates a
lack of trust in the driver, which commun a variety
of things. But I think we can intuitively understand that sentence,
yeah and three it is actually distracting to them when
they're trying to drive.

Speaker 3 (10:34):
Right.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
So the way that we think about it is like this.
If you feel that we need as much guidance while
we're driving, you have to you absolutely must believe that
we are causing fatal accidents about every thirty seconds all
the way between point A and point B. Every time
we drive ourselves somewhere, you would be calling us frantically
throughout our drive to ensure that we haven't killed anybody
else and myself included, since the last time you called.

(10:56):
And we just want to make sure you're safe, right,
So you shouldn't even let us behind. I'm the wheel
of a car without some advice guru to help us
along the way, like there should be somebody who is
just a perpetual passenger making sure that we're being safe.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
If you assume that we're such bad drivers.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Well, and if you assume that we need that much coaching,
like you can't possibly believe I drive myself to work
safely without killing myself and everyone else around me. The
whole way there. If you think I need that much
coaching while I'm driving, Yeah, exactly, And if you do,
let me get behind the wheel like you're calling me
constantly to ensure that I haven't killed those people or
myselfs all the way there because you think that I

(11:31):
need that much. All right, Things that you should actually
know about backseat driving things. Backseat driving is actually believed
and understood by many researchers to cause more accidents than
it prevents. I want to say that one more time
that make sure it sinks in. Backseat driving is likely
to cause more accidents than it prevents. Various agencies warn

(11:51):
that distracted driving accounts for a significant amount of traffic fatalities,
and that people receiving backseat driving criticisms are more likely
to miss or run stop lin source stop signs, fail
to see other cars in traffic, more likely to drive
at unsafe speeds, drive too close to other drivers, and
to make mistakes. So the great irony of backseat driving,
particularly when the motivation of the backseat driver is to

(12:14):
prevent accidents from happening, is it actually is likely causing
more accidents than it is preventing.

Speaker 2 (12:19):
Yeah, So the general recommendation is not to never speak up.
There are times when the driver legitimately isn't paying attention
or miss something vital, and in those moments it is
better to help than to watch some preventable disaster play out.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
Like if you.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
Absolutely need to speak up, then speak up, but otherwise don't.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
Well, it's worth saying that. Like, if you're the driver,
one way to help reduce backseat driving is to drive safely.
Consider that you might be making some mistakes and some
advice could be helpful and set you on the correct path. Like,
it's not that all feedback when driving is not helpful,
it is being judicious and applying where needed.

Speaker 2 (12:55):
Yeah, it's also worth considering if you are the backseat
driver dispensing advice, consider how needed it really is or
like you know, I always like to ask the question,
is this helpful right some? What have you believe that
you cannot control your reactions? Well, you do when you're driving,
and you don't go shouting off road instructions when you're
not in a car, So yes, yes, you can control

(13:15):
yourself in that particular context. Ask yourself, is this criticism
really truly needed right now? And if you have to
think about it, it probably isn't.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, Like, if you had time to even have that
conversation with yourself, probably wasn't. Yeah, I think again, noting
the situation that you're currently in, Others recommend as far
as managing the relationship between the driver and the backseat driver,
having on a podcast or some music that can distract
the backseat driver, getting them to engage in a conversation
where they're doing most of the talking. This will keep

(13:46):
them occupied and allow you to then subsequently drive safer.
So anymore, Like my experience with this is such that anymore,
when I see poor driving on the road, I just
assume that that person has a bad backseat driver screwing
them up. I'm like, that explains it to me, Like
are they drunk? No, just a bad backseat driver telling
them things that are not unnecessarily unhelpful and distracting.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
Yeah, I like that a lot. I like that framing.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
So, anyway, this is a little bit long. Actually, we
kind of right at our point here perfect we did. Okay, Hey,
all right, anything that you would like to add or
anything that we should say before we wrap this one up.

Speaker 3 (14:22):
No, I think that covers this one.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay, Well, I'll do the quick things. Yeah, you join
us on Patreon. That really helps us out. You get
bonus content at early episodes, ad free episodes, behind the
scenes things, and a cool group of people. I will
also shout out your name on our full length episodes
when we get to the end of our conversations on
every episode, which is always a fun thing to hear
your name shouted out. You can reach us to tell
us your thoughts about backseat driving or experiences with us

(14:43):
by emailing us directly info at WWDWWD podcast dot com,
and you can reach us on the social media platforms.
Thank you so much to our patron supporters and to
my team of people without whom I could not make
this podcast happen. And of course thank you all for listening.
I think that's what we have to say about this,
so we'll go ahead and let you get about your
go about your day. This is Abraham.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
And this is Shane.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Why we do what we do? Minie is out.

Speaker 3 (15:07):
Bye.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
You've been listening to Why we Do what We Do.
You can learn more about this and other episodes by
going to WWDWWD podcast dot com.

Speaker 2 (15:17):
Thanks for listening and we hope you have an awesome day,
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