July 28, 2024 • 20 mins
Please enjoy Native Problem The a great episode of the legendaryX Minus One radio - A Classic Old Time radio Show - OTR
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
This content was created in partnership and with the help of Artificial Intelligence AI
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
M HM.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Comtown for blast of x minus five for three two
x minus one fire. From the far horizons of the
(00:39):
unknown come tales of new dimensions in time and space.
These are stories of the future adventures in which you'll
live in a million, could be years.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
On a thousand.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Nyvy Worlds, the.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine,
presents the Night The Native Problem by Robert Checkley.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
But first hear this.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
This is Marion Baker of Atlanta, Georgia, as a teacher.
There is a problem that I feel quite acutely. I
know most of you think I'm speaking of low salaries
or inadequate school facilities. True, both of these situations should
be limited. But actually what I would like to speak
to you about is something which should be.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Quite close to you as parents.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Each day in your community, there are quite probably children
who will miss valuable days in school simply because of
preventable illnesses. It's all very easy to speak of the
normal renter cold, but such things as hot breakfast, good nuntes, adam,
clothing and shoes can do more than any yet to
be discovered miracle drug in keeping our children warm and
(02:07):
healthy and in class look into your school system. This
falls when your youngsters go back to school.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But give equal.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Consideration to the way in which you look after your
children's knees.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Wow x minus one and tonight's story the Native problem.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
To begin with.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
My name is Edward Dathan. I've always been a misfit.
Oh that's all right. I'm not sensitive about it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
In fact, I've grown rather proud of it.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I just don't fit in the modern twenty second century world.
There was no place in all of New York City
from Norfolk a banger, where I felt at home, and
it was the same in every other great city complex
on Earth. In school, I've plant such elementary subjects as
a group of cultivation, sibling fit, values, recognition, and folk
waye judgments. There was only one thing to do, as
practically every misfit in.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
The past century had done.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
I decided to migrate to deep space and find a
place where I could call my soul, my own. I
told my best friend Al Trevor of my plan. Good night,
you're really going it. That's right out, just as far
from the solar system as I can get.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
But why, man, you've played twelve handed bridge with me. Al?
You know what a dope. I am at mass dancing.
I'm a misfit. I want to get away.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
And it's not like in the days when the ship's
uet the old Nicholson drive. With these new GM subspacial
torque converters, where we can travel in a matter of
what's what used to take them thirty or forty years. Well,
I hate to see you go or one more thing out.
I'm going to give you my breeding certificate.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh now, ed, we couldn't let you and myrta want
two children, don't you. Oh, we've always wanted to have two,
but you must.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
I don't need a breeding certificate where I'm going. As
a matter of fact, I may even find it impossible
to breed at all, So that could be rather frustrating,
old man. Well, maybe after a while I'll find a
girl pioneer. In the meantime, there's always sublimation, true, true,
what substitute have you selected?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Vegetable garden? Right as well? Be practical, you know, right
as well?
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Well, old man, good luck, and thanks for that breeding certificate.
The next day I took off of the stars of
the government ship.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
The spot I picked was out and what they call
the new territory.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
The planet I finally settled for was ideal, a calm,
watery place, started with fertile islands, blessed with a mild
uniform climate, and absolutely uninhabited.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
When they left me there, I took formal.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Possession and christened the place New Tahiti for obvious reasons.
At first it was fine. I was busy exploring, growing
vegetables and building a shelter. After that, though, time began
to drag to do something but what I was maroon
in this deserted planet, and it might be years before
another earthship would land here.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And then, miraculously it happened.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
A ship came out of the skies and headed for
a landing on my own private island. It was an
ancient Michelson drive job, battered and scored, but bearing a
proud legend painted on its nose.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
The hotter people at red.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
When the ship landed on the beach, I ran out
to meet it, forgetting that I must have looked more
like a naked savage than.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
A fellow earth man.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Hey, Hey, hey, there in the ship stop where you
are Welcome to New Tahiti.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Boy, am I glad to see you folks? What's the
latest tooth from Vanbacker. Take another step.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
With our shoe?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
What is something wrong? What's your name? Edward Durton? What's yours?
Speaker 7 (05:48):
Syban Smith, military commander of the Hudder people.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And this is Jedichiah Franker, my second in command. How
come you speak English? Boy? Me? Why've always spoken English?
Where are the others hiding? There are any others? Just me?
I see?
Speaker 6 (06:04):
Can't we come out now? No, get back in the ship.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Benita from here say she's pretty your daughter? Yeah? Why
do you think, Simeon?
Speaker 7 (06:14):
It's what I expected? Ingratiating, fawning, undoubtedly treacherous. This people
won't show themselves, you know this, are probably waiting in ambush.
I think an object lesson is in order, right.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Put the fear of civilization into them.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hey, don't point that gun at me.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I didn't know.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
He hasn't done anything yet.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
That's why the others will know. We mean business.
Speaker 7 (06:35):
Let him have it, Jeechiah, No, wait, he's running for
the woods. Shoot him, Jedekiah, shoot him. We've got to
teach these tavages.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Who's bob?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
You're listening to the native problem to Night's traction on
X minus one. Friends for as many years as any
of us can remember, the sadness that polio has brought
to so many homes has been almost unparalleled. But a
greater sadness than this lies ahead for any who may
from now on catch polio because it may be due
(07:23):
to carelessness. Vaccination against polio, the well known Salck shots,
is more than seventy five percent effective, and it's due
to such vaccination that there was a drop of forty
seven percent in polio cases last year.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Five million have had as much as one shot of
the vaccine.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And please remember that while the first and second shots
are helpful, the third shot is necessary for maximum protection.
There's plenty of vaccine and the doctors are anxious to cooperate. Remember,
the end of polio is at hand, but it takes
three visits to the doctor to lick it, and you
afford not to go. Ah back to X minus one
(08:15):
and the native problem.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I was just playing lucky to get back to the
friendly cover of the forest without stopping a bullet.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It was obviously these people were too jumpy just then
to listen to reason and believe me when I told
them that I was not a native, that I was
all alone here.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I decided to wait a while.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
About dusk, I crept through the woods to get as
near their ship as I could without being seen. They'd
come out of their ship. There were several dozen men
and women, and a few children. They were grouped around
a campfire eating. On the edges of the group were
several armed men, looking toward the woods with apprehension. I
watched while their leader, Simeon, stepped into the circle of
(08:57):
firelight to address them.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I could hear everything he said, plainly.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Friends, we have come at last to our long await
at home, our promised land. Behold, a land of milk
and honey, a place of bounty and abundance. Was it
not worth the long voyage, the constant peril, the endless search. However,
there is an Aboriginal people here, naked and savage, joundoubted,
(09:25):
the cunning, ruthless, and amerald, as Aboriginals always are. Of
these we must beware. We will live in peace with
them if they will let us. No one can tell
what goes on in a savage heart. Their standards are
not ours, their morals are not ours.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
We cannot trust them.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
We must be forever on guard, and if in doubt, we.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
Must shoot first, remember land too.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
This was not going to be easy. I decided not
to try another approach that night. The next morning, as
they were saying about unloading their spaceship, I walked down
to the beach and headed straight for them with my
hands held out to show them that they were empty.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
The sentry stopped me at the point of a.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Gun, and in a minute both Simeon and Jeddikiah came
running up, covering me with their weapons. I stood still,
my flesh creeping in anticipation of the bullet. Someone might
fire at me any minute.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
So you have come back, I'd like to explain I
am the leader of these people. I am the big
chief fella. You big fella chief your people. There's no
need to talk that way. I told you yesterday. I
have no people.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
It's just me.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
I speak English. Unless you're honest with me, you're going
to regret it.
Speaker 9 (10:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Where's your tribe? I'm an earth man? Are you deaf?
Can't you tell by the way I talk? Now?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Listen you excuse media, Simeon. I don't believe I have
met your friend, Professor Baker.
Speaker 7 (10:59):
This savage here claims to be an earth man. You
are an earth man?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
My name is Edward Danton. Only a few months ago
I left Earth on a spaceship. How was it powered
by a GM subspecial torque converter?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What do you think, Professor? Amazing? Truly amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
His grasp of colloquial English speaks a fairly high level
of intelligence, which points up a phenomenon frequently met with
in savage societies, namely, an unusually well developed hoer of mimicry.
Our friend Dante, as his original uncorrupted name must have been,
will probably be able to tell us many tribal legends and.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Myths come off at Professor, I'm an earthman. No, no,
my poor friend, you are not.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Obviously you have met an earth man, some trader, I
dare say.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Stopping for repairs.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We saw signs that a spaceship once landed here.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Professor, Oh, confirmation of my hypotheses.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That was the governmentship that dropped me off here.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It is interesting to note how his almost plausible story
lapses into myth at various crucial points. He claims this
ship was powered by a GM subspatial talk converter. Now
this is a nonsense syllablification, since the only deep space
Stride is a Nicholson. He also claims that the journey
from Earth was made in the matter of months, since
(12:15):
its uncute at mind cannot conceive of a journey lasting
for years. If you know that no Space Stride, even
theoretically can reach here from Earth in less than.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Thirty or forty years, then GM must have been developed
after you left Earth. How long have you been gone?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
The Hutt ship left Earth one hundred and thirty years ago.
We are mostly fourth and fifth generation.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
Now, come on, Danta, where's your tribe? Where are they hiding?
This is preposterous.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
What can I do to convent you? I'm from Earth.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
That's enough.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
We won't stand for back talk from natives. Where are
your people?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Is only me?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Maybe a taste of the black snake whipple loose.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
In his tongue.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
Later, Jediciah, his tribe will come around for handouts natives
always do.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Then let's put him the work. Danta.
Speaker 10 (12:57):
You can join that work gang over their unloading supply. Thanks,
I'll go back, Chief said, no back talk. Well, you,
Nita is always so bone lazy. You'll be paid as
soon as we unload the beads in Calico.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I'll get to work, and what could I do? I
joined the work gang and unloaded the ship.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
By day afternoon we had finished, I sneaked off the
set beside a mountain spring near the ship. In a
few minutes of Nita, the pretty girl I had noticed
the day before, came and sat beside me.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Hello, Daniel, Nita, do you think I'm a native? What
else can I think?
Speaker 8 (13:39):
Everyone knows how fast the spaceship can travel.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Times have changed since your people after By the way,
they weren't in space all that time, were they?
Speaker 8 (13:47):
No, they originally settled on a planet called Line too.
There was a native rebellion whose Berlly managed to escape.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
That case, I can understand why they're so nervous about Aboriginals.
Speaker 8 (13:58):
Don't worry about it. These are better when a council
takes over.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Were they a council of elders?
Speaker 8 (14:04):
You are men of goodwill who detest violence. And if
you and your people are really peaceable.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I haven't any people.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Yes, I know, but if you.
Speaker 8 (14:14):
And your people are really peaceable, you're sure to prosper
under the rule of the elders.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
There was no use. I couldn't even convince her.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
But as we sat together and talked, I began to
forget my problems. I was enchanted by her, and I
think she liked me too. After a while, I thought
we're the most natural thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
She was in my arms and I was kissing her.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
What's going on here?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
She had als.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
You you're a disgrace to your people.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Are you out of your mind? Girl? You can't mess
around with a dirty native.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
And keep yourself respect?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Just a minute year cut up, because for.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You, you've got to learn something and learn it.
Speaker 10 (15:03):
Good natives don't fool around with hotter women. I'm going
to impress that little lesson on you right here, and
now I've had enough from you.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
He tried to hit me first, Get up, jeddak Kaya,
you're not.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Hurt, oh jaw, help help the natives of Revoting Hell, Well.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That did it. People began to shout and run all
over the place.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
He'd tried to calm them down, but it was no use.
I took to the brush just before.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
They turned a machine gun on me, and all that
night I hid while.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Arm parties went crashing through the woods, shouting and firing
and shadows.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It was a nightmare. There goes one quick there behind us,
turn the machine gun.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Got it, No, they got away. Look there in the trees,
fireman fire.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
It was like that all night long. My morning I
was exhausted, and so were they. I hid in the
jungle and waited, I don't know what for. And then
along about the middle of the day, I saw Anita.
I thought she was alone at first, and I knew
she was looking for me. I stepped out in the
trail in front of her. Oh there, men got there.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
It's all right.
Speaker 8 (16:31):
They won't harm you. They came to guard meet Dan.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Are you all right?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Guard you from me?
Speaker 8 (16:38):
They don't know you as I do. At the council
meeting today, I told him the truth you did.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I told him the fight wasn't your fault.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
I told him you were only defending yourself. And Yetikaia lied,
no pack of datas attack him, It was only you,
And I told him.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
At last, did they believe you? Oh?
Speaker 8 (16:57):
Yes, I explained.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
The native attack came leader native attack. Now, look, there
wasn't any attack in either There couldn't be. There aren't
any natives I could tell.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
Right then, it was no use trying to convince anyone,
even the girl I loved. It was then that I
decided on a desperate plan. I sent Anita back to
her people and waited for a time.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Just to make them nervous. And then the next morning
I came striding into the middle of the Hutter camp. Oh,
one step more and I'll kill you, I.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
Want to say, Simeon, all right, Jedichiah, I'll take over here.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I am Danta. Shall I shoot him? Simon? No? Let
him speak? Go on, Dana? What is it? I have
come here to bring you a declaration of war? What
I'll kill him?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Now?
Speaker 8 (17:52):
What happens?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Danda?
Speaker 6 (17:54):
What it is?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's war?
Speaker 8 (17:55):
But I begged with you to bring peace to your peace.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
They wouldn't listen. It's war. All the tribes are gathering
from every outlying island. How how many are there? Many? Thousands,
fifty or sixty. We will fight to the death, can't await?
Speaker 7 (18:09):
Surely we can reach an agreement to Why should all
this blood? There is a way, I thought, So what
do you want?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Equal rights? Yes? Yes? What else?
Speaker 5 (18:19):
That is all except naturally an alliance between the ruling
plan of the Hudders and the ruling clan of New Tahiti.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
In short, unmarried Never we'll fight, even though we're wiped out.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We can't. We wouldn't have a chance except father, except
before it's too late.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
How can I accept?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
Where could I find a hudder woman who would sacrifice
herself for a marriage like that?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Why don't you ask me? So it came about. Anita
and I were married, and we're very happy.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
The Hunters, too, prospered in their new land, and soon
they began to build up a thriving new civilization. Anita
and I and our family moved to one of the
more remote islands where we weren't.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So much in the thicket things. Sometimes people would come.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
To see us and asked me to talk about my people,
and I would tell them how they could not stand
the white man's.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Civilization and how they died off all of me.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It always made them feel very guilty, and somehow I
liked to watch them squirm.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
As I said, I've always been a misfit.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Fred Gollums again, I'll have another word about.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
X minus one in a moment.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
X minus one presented by the National Broadcasting Company in
cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction magazine, which this month features
Break a Leg by Jim Harmon. The man worthwhile couldn't
be allowed to smile if he ever laughed at himself.
The entire ship and crew were as good as dead.
Read it in Galaxy Magazine on your new stand today.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
X minus one has.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Brought you The Native Problem, a story written by Robert
Sheckley and adapted for radio by William Welch. Featured in
the cast were John Thomas, Joseph Bollen, James Jucas, Alan Muir,
Charles Webster and Alan Bergman. This is Fred Collins speaking
(20:44):
Alan Bergmann. This is Fred Collins speaking
M HM.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Comtown for blast of x minus five for three two
x minus one fire. From the far horizons of the
(00:39):
unknown come tales of new dimensions in time and space.
These are stories of the future adventures in which you'll
live in a million, could be years.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
On a thousand.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Nyvy Worlds, the.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
National Broadcasting Company, in cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction Magazine,
presents the Night The Native Problem by Robert Checkley.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
But first hear this.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
This is Marion Baker of Atlanta, Georgia, as a teacher.
There is a problem that I feel quite acutely. I
know most of you think I'm speaking of low salaries
or inadequate school facilities. True, both of these situations should
be limited. But actually what I would like to speak
to you about is something which should be.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Quite close to you as parents.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Each day in your community, there are quite probably children
who will miss valuable days in school simply because of
preventable illnesses. It's all very easy to speak of the
normal renter cold, but such things as hot breakfast, good nuntes, adam,
clothing and shoes can do more than any yet to
be discovered miracle drug in keeping our children warm and
(02:07):
healthy and in class look into your school system. This
falls when your youngsters go back to school.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
But give equal.
Speaker 4 (02:14):
Consideration to the way in which you look after your
children's knees.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Wow x minus one and tonight's story the Native problem.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
To begin with.
Speaker 5 (02:40):
My name is Edward Dathan. I've always been a misfit.
Oh that's all right. I'm not sensitive about it.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
In fact, I've grown rather proud of it.
Speaker 5 (02:48):
I just don't fit in the modern twenty second century world.
There was no place in all of New York City
from Norfolk a banger, where I felt at home, and
it was the same in every other great city complex
on Earth. In school, I've plant such elementary subjects as
a group of cultivation, sibling fit, values, recognition, and folk
waye judgments. There was only one thing to do, as
practically every misfit in.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
The past century had done.
Speaker 5 (03:11):
I decided to migrate to deep space and find a
place where I could call my soul, my own. I
told my best friend Al Trevor of my plan. Good night,
you're really going it. That's right out, just as far
from the solar system as I can get.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
But why, man, you've played twelve handed bridge with me. Al?
You know what a dope. I am at mass dancing.
I'm a misfit. I want to get away.
Speaker 5 (03:31):
And it's not like in the days when the ship's
uet the old Nicholson drive. With these new GM subspacial
torque converters, where we can travel in a matter of
what's what used to take them thirty or forty years. Well,
I hate to see you go or one more thing out.
I'm going to give you my breeding certificate.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Oh now, ed, we couldn't let you and myrta want
two children, don't you. Oh, we've always wanted to have two,
but you must.
Speaker 5 (03:52):
I don't need a breeding certificate where I'm going. As
a matter of fact, I may even find it impossible
to breed at all, So that could be rather frustrating,
old man. Well, maybe after a while I'll find a
girl pioneer. In the meantime, there's always sublimation, true, true,
what substitute have you selected?
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Vegetable garden? Right as well? Be practical, you know, right
as well?
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Well, old man, good luck, and thanks for that breeding certificate.
The next day I took off of the stars of
the government ship.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
The spot I picked was out and what they call
the new territory.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
The planet I finally settled for was ideal, a calm,
watery place, started with fertile islands, blessed with a mild
uniform climate, and absolutely uninhabited.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
When they left me there, I took formal.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Possession and christened the place New Tahiti for obvious reasons.
At first it was fine. I was busy exploring, growing
vegetables and building a shelter. After that, though, time began
to drag to do something but what I was maroon
in this deserted planet, and it might be years before
another earthship would land here.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
And then, miraculously it happened.
Speaker 5 (05:10):
A ship came out of the skies and headed for
a landing on my own private island. It was an
ancient Michelson drive job, battered and scored, but bearing a
proud legend painted on its nose.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
The hotter people at red.
Speaker 5 (05:23):
When the ship landed on the beach, I ran out
to meet it, forgetting that I must have looked more
like a naked savage than.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
A fellow earth man.
Speaker 6 (05:31):
Hey, Hey, hey, there in the ship stop where you
are Welcome to New Tahiti.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Boy, am I glad to see you folks? What's the
latest tooth from Vanbacker. Take another step.
Speaker 6 (05:43):
With our shoe?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
What is something wrong? What's your name? Edward Durton? What's yours?
Speaker 7 (05:48):
Syban Smith, military commander of the Hudder people.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
And this is Jedichiah Franker, my second in command. How
come you speak English? Boy? Me? Why've always spoken English?
Where are the others hiding? There are any others? Just me?
I see?
Speaker 6 (06:04):
Can't we come out now? No, get back in the ship.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Benita from here say she's pretty your daughter? Yeah? Why
do you think, Simeon?
Speaker 7 (06:14):
It's what I expected? Ingratiating, fawning, undoubtedly treacherous. This people
won't show themselves, you know this, are probably waiting in ambush.
I think an object lesson is in order, right.
Speaker 3 (06:26):
Put the fear of civilization into them.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Hey, don't point that gun at me.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
I didn't know.
Speaker 8 (06:31):
He hasn't done anything yet.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
That's why the others will know. We mean business.
Speaker 7 (06:35):
Let him have it, Jeechiah, No, wait, he's running for
the woods. Shoot him, Jedekiah, shoot him. We've got to
teach these tavages.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
Who's bob?
Speaker 2 (07:02):
You're listening to the native problem to Night's traction on
X minus one. Friends for as many years as any
of us can remember, the sadness that polio has brought
to so many homes has been almost unparalleled. But a
greater sadness than this lies ahead for any who may
from now on catch polio because it may be due
(07:23):
to carelessness. Vaccination against polio, the well known Salck shots,
is more than seventy five percent effective, and it's due
to such vaccination that there was a drop of forty
seven percent in polio cases last year.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Five million have had as much as one shot of
the vaccine.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
And please remember that while the first and second shots
are helpful, the third shot is necessary for maximum protection.
There's plenty of vaccine and the doctors are anxious to cooperate. Remember,
the end of polio is at hand, but it takes
three visits to the doctor to lick it, and you
afford not to go. Ah back to X minus one
(08:15):
and the native problem.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
I was just playing lucky to get back to the
friendly cover of the forest without stopping a bullet.
Speaker 5 (08:26):
It was obviously these people were too jumpy just then
to listen to reason and believe me when I told
them that I was not a native, that I was
all alone here.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
I decided to wait a while.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
About dusk, I crept through the woods to get as
near their ship as I could without being seen. They'd
come out of their ship. There were several dozen men
and women, and a few children. They were grouped around
a campfire eating. On the edges of the group were
several armed men, looking toward the woods with apprehension. I
watched while their leader, Simeon, stepped into the circle of
(08:57):
firelight to address them.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
I could hear everything he said, plainly.
Speaker 9 (09:02):
Friends, we have come at last to our long await
at home, our promised land. Behold, a land of milk
and honey, a place of bounty and abundance. Was it
not worth the long voyage, the constant peril, the endless search. However,
there is an Aboriginal people here, naked and savage, joundoubted,
(09:25):
the cunning, ruthless, and amerald, as Aboriginals always are. Of
these we must beware. We will live in peace with
them if they will let us. No one can tell
what goes on in a savage heart. Their standards are
not ours, their morals are not ours.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
We cannot trust them.
Speaker 6 (09:47):
We must be forever on guard, and if in doubt, we.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
Must shoot first, remember land too.
Speaker 5 (10:00):
This was not going to be easy. I decided not
to try another approach that night. The next morning, as
they were saying about unloading their spaceship, I walked down
to the beach and headed straight for them with my
hands held out to show them that they were empty.
Speaker 1 (10:20):
The sentry stopped me at the point of a.
Speaker 5 (10:22):
Gun, and in a minute both Simeon and Jeddikiah came
running up, covering me with their weapons. I stood still,
my flesh creeping in anticipation of the bullet. Someone might
fire at me any minute.
Speaker 7 (10:32):
So you have come back, I'd like to explain I
am the leader of these people. I am the big
chief fella. You big fella chief your people. There's no
need to talk that way. I told you yesterday. I
have no people.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
It's just me.
Speaker 7 (10:45):
I speak English. Unless you're honest with me, you're going
to regret it.
Speaker 9 (10:49):
Now.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Where's your tribe? I'm an earth man? Are you deaf?
Can't you tell by the way I talk? Now?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Listen you excuse media, Simeon. I don't believe I have
met your friend, Professor Baker.
Speaker 7 (10:59):
This savage here claims to be an earth man. You
are an earth man?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
My name is Edward Danton. Only a few months ago
I left Earth on a spaceship. How was it powered
by a GM subspecial torque converter?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
What do you think, Professor? Amazing? Truly amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
His grasp of colloquial English speaks a fairly high level
of intelligence, which points up a phenomenon frequently met with
in savage societies, namely, an unusually well developed hoer of mimicry.
Our friend Dante, as his original uncorrupted name must have been,
will probably be able to tell us many tribal legends and.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Myths come off at Professor, I'm an earthman. No, no,
my poor friend, you are not.
Speaker 2 (11:40):
Obviously you have met an earth man, some trader, I
dare say.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Stopping for repairs.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
We saw signs that a spaceship once landed here.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Professor, Oh, confirmation of my hypotheses.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
That was the governmentship that dropped me off here.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
It is interesting to note how his almost plausible story
lapses into myth at various crucial points. He claims this
ship was powered by a GM subspatial talk converter. Now
this is a nonsense syllablification, since the only deep space
Stride is a Nicholson. He also claims that the journey
from Earth was made in the matter of months, since
(12:15):
its uncute at mind cannot conceive of a journey lasting
for years. If you know that no Space Stride, even
theoretically can reach here from Earth in less than.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Thirty or forty years, then GM must have been developed
after you left Earth. How long have you been gone?
Speaker 2 (12:30):
The Hutt ship left Earth one hundred and thirty years ago.
We are mostly fourth and fifth generation.
Speaker 7 (12:35):
Now, come on, Danta, where's your tribe? Where are they hiding?
This is preposterous.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
What can I do to convent you? I'm from Earth.
Speaker 6 (12:42):
That's enough.
Speaker 7 (12:43):
We won't stand for back talk from natives. Where are
your people?
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Is only me?
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Maybe a taste of the black snake whipple loose.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
In his tongue.
Speaker 7 (12:49):
Later, Jediciah, his tribe will come around for handouts natives
always do.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Then let's put him the work. Danta.
Speaker 10 (12:57):
You can join that work gang over their unloading supply. Thanks,
I'll go back, Chief said, no back talk. Well, you,
Nita is always so bone lazy. You'll be paid as
soon as we unload the beads in Calico.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I'll get to work, and what could I do? I
joined the work gang and unloaded the ship.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
By day afternoon we had finished, I sneaked off the
set beside a mountain spring near the ship. In a
few minutes of Nita, the pretty girl I had noticed
the day before, came and sat beside me.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Hello, Daniel, Nita, do you think I'm a native? What
else can I think?
Speaker 8 (13:39):
Everyone knows how fast the spaceship can travel.
Speaker 2 (13:42):
Times have changed since your people after By the way,
they weren't in space all that time, were they?
Speaker 8 (13:47):
No, they originally settled on a planet called Line too.
There was a native rebellion whose Berlly managed to escape.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
That case, I can understand why they're so nervous about Aboriginals.
Speaker 8 (13:58):
Don't worry about it. These are better when a council
takes over.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Were they a council of elders?
Speaker 8 (14:04):
You are men of goodwill who detest violence. And if
you and your people are really peaceable.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
I haven't any people.
Speaker 6 (14:11):
Yes, I know, but if you.
Speaker 8 (14:14):
And your people are really peaceable, you're sure to prosper
under the rule of the elders.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
There was no use. I couldn't even convince her.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
But as we sat together and talked, I began to
forget my problems. I was enchanted by her, and I
think she liked me too. After a while, I thought
we're the most natural thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
She was in my arms and I was kissing her.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
What's going on here?
Speaker 1 (14:50):
She had als.
Speaker 3 (14:51):
You you're a disgrace to your people.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Are you out of your mind? Girl? You can't mess
around with a dirty native.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
And keep yourself respect?
Speaker 1 (14:58):
Just a minute year cut up, because for.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
You, you've got to learn something and learn it.
Speaker 10 (15:03):
Good natives don't fool around with hotter women. I'm going
to impress that little lesson on you right here, and
now I've had enough from you.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
He tried to hit me first, Get up, jeddak Kaya,
you're not.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
Hurt, oh jaw, help help the natives of Revoting Hell, Well.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That did it. People began to shout and run all
over the place.
Speaker 5 (15:34):
He'd tried to calm them down, but it was no use.
I took to the brush just before.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
They turned a machine gun on me, and all that
night I hid while.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Arm parties went crashing through the woods, shouting and firing
and shadows.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
It was a nightmare. There goes one quick there behind us,
turn the machine gun.
Speaker 7 (15:51):
Got it, No, they got away. Look there in the trees,
fireman fire.
Speaker 5 (16:10):
It was like that all night long. My morning I
was exhausted, and so were they. I hid in the
jungle and waited, I don't know what for. And then
along about the middle of the day, I saw Anita.
I thought she was alone at first, and I knew
she was looking for me. I stepped out in the
trail in front of her. Oh there, men got there.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
It's all right.
Speaker 8 (16:31):
They won't harm you. They came to guard meet Dan.
Speaker 4 (16:35):
Are you all right?
Speaker 1 (16:36):
Guard you from me?
Speaker 8 (16:38):
They don't know you as I do. At the council
meeting today, I told him the truth you did.
Speaker 4 (16:43):
I told him the fight wasn't your fault.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
I told him you were only defending yourself. And Yetikaia lied,
no pack of datas attack him, It was only you,
And I told him.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
At last, did they believe you? Oh?
Speaker 8 (16:57):
Yes, I explained.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
The native attack came leader native attack. Now, look, there
wasn't any attack in either There couldn't be. There aren't
any natives I could tell.
Speaker 5 (17:20):
Right then, it was no use trying to convince anyone,
even the girl I loved. It was then that I
decided on a desperate plan. I sent Anita back to
her people and waited for a time.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Just to make them nervous. And then the next morning
I came striding into the middle of the Hutter camp. Oh,
one step more and I'll kill you, I.
Speaker 7 (17:38):
Want to say, Simeon, all right, Jedichiah, I'll take over here.
Speaker 1 (17:42):
I am Danta. Shall I shoot him? Simon? No? Let
him speak? Go on, Dana? What is it? I have
come here to bring you a declaration of war? What
I'll kill him?
Speaker 4 (17:52):
Now?
Speaker 8 (17:52):
What happens?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Danda?
Speaker 6 (17:54):
What it is?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
It's war?
Speaker 8 (17:55):
But I begged with you to bring peace to your peace.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
They wouldn't listen. It's war. All the tribes are gathering
from every outlying island. How how many are there? Many? Thousands,
fifty or sixty. We will fight to the death, can't await?
Speaker 7 (18:09):
Surely we can reach an agreement to Why should all
this blood? There is a way, I thought, So what
do you want?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Equal rights? Yes? Yes? What else?
Speaker 5 (18:19):
That is all except naturally an alliance between the ruling
plan of the Hudders and the ruling clan of New Tahiti.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
In short, unmarried Never we'll fight, even though we're wiped out.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
We can't. We wouldn't have a chance except father, except
before it's too late.
Speaker 1 (18:37):
How can I accept?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
Where could I find a hudder woman who would sacrifice
herself for a marriage like that?
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Why don't you ask me? So it came about. Anita
and I were married, and we're very happy.
Speaker 5 (19:04):
The Hunters, too, prospered in their new land, and soon
they began to build up a thriving new civilization. Anita
and I and our family moved to one of the
more remote islands where we weren't.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So much in the thicket things. Sometimes people would come.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
To see us and asked me to talk about my people,
and I would tell them how they could not stand
the white man's.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Civilization and how they died off all of me.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
It always made them feel very guilty, and somehow I
liked to watch them squirm.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
As I said, I've always been a misfit.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Fred Gollums again, I'll have another word about.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
X minus one in a moment.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
X minus one presented by the National Broadcasting Company in
cooperation with Galaxy Science Fiction magazine, which this month features
Break a Leg by Jim Harmon. The man worthwhile couldn't
be allowed to smile if he ever laughed at himself.
The entire ship and crew were as good as dead.
Read it in Galaxy Magazine on your new stand today.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
X minus one has.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Brought you The Native Problem, a story written by Robert
Sheckley and adapted for radio by William Welch. Featured in
the cast were John Thomas, Joseph Bollen, James Jucas, Alan Muir,
Charles Webster and Alan Bergman. This is Fred Collins speaking
(20:44):
Alan Bergmann. This is Fred Collins speaking
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