April 9, 2024 • 51 mins
Get ready because this one is insane. We change roles. It's either the most hysterical thing you'll see and hear or it's a complete train wreck. Either way, you won't want to miss it.
Erik plays Laura, Producer Bryan plays Erik, and Laura plays Producer Bryan.
What you are about to witness, you cannot unsee.
Just a forewarning...haha.
Erik (Producer Bryan) gives us the Double D news,
Laura (Erik) is the airheaded host of the show and Producer Bryan (Laura) runs the whole thing, or attempts to anyway.
The part where Erik (Laura) stands up in the dress is a moment you won't want to miss. It's shocking and you might just spit out your coffee or whatever you're drinking or eating!
We are most definitely unapologetically unfiltered, always unedited, and crazy fun. Thanks for partaking in this nuttiness. Love you guys and.
Love your podcast!
www.lauracainafterdark.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Erik plays Laura, Producer Bryan plays Erik, and Laura plays Producer Bryan.
What you are about to witness, you cannot unsee.
Just a forewarning...haha.
Erik (Producer Bryan) gives us the Double D news,
Laura (Erik) is the airheaded host of the show and Producer Bryan (Laura) runs the whole thing, or attempts to anyway.
The part where Erik (Laura) stands up in the dress is a moment you won't want to miss. It's shocking and you might just spit out your coffee or whatever you're drinking or eating!
We are most definitely unapologetically unfiltered, always unedited, and crazy fun. Thanks for partaking in this nuttiness. Love you guys and.
Love your podcast!
www.lauracainafterdark.com
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Like, okay, so I'm gonnaput on Okay, start streaming. Remember
you're supposed to be You're supposed tobe like bitchy about I'm not talking.
I'm talking to Laura. I'm talkingabout what I'm supposed to be. Just
press space or fade, wow,being a girl. Okay, there we
(00:22):
go, and the audios are it'snot a it's not all. That's okay,
that's good. Now press Okay,there we go. Wait, hold
on, wait, I know howto get into the other screen fired producer
segment and then press fade, oh, fade, fade, fade, there
(00:45):
we go. Hey, okay,wow, Hey everybody, it's me Laura
Kine, radio star, podcast star, part time actress, full time mom,
best friend, full Hi mommy,Yeah, Hi daddy, Hi Eric,
Hey Laura, this is my Eric. This is my work husband,
(01:06):
my bff, the talent, producer, Brian the talent. Hey, what's
going on? Hold on, letme see you. Brian is not having
a good day today. Wait,hold on, hold on, he's really
no. I just haven't had mccoffee. Okay, does producer Brian. There
we go coffee. Hey, Iknow that for a fact. Oh,
producer Brian doesn't talk until he hashis first sip of coffee in the morning.
(01:29):
Produce Brian has said, you're talkinga lot, producer, Brian,
Sorry, hold on tell you soanyway? What's going on? Guys?
Hey Brian? Hey, what's goingon? Hey? What's going on?
How is how is everybody's weekend?Oh? My god? Did anyone see
the eclipse? No? Who givesa shit about the eclipse? I was
seriously doing traffic. You should gettry getting a real job, Laura.
(01:55):
I know, well, you knowthat is a real job. Eric,
my god, come on. Ericwould never say that to me. By
the way, how do you said, Brian never talked this much? So?
Uh? What's coming up on?What's coming up on the show?
Guys? Oh uh? Oh youwant to know what we did this weekend?
Oh? I'm sorry. Do youwant to know what we did this
weekend? Yeah? Okay, let'ssee. Let's see. Let's see.
(02:20):
Hold on, I think I justscrewed it up a little bit. Hold
on, hold on, I'm I'mtooggled over. I toggled over to this.
Eric, go check real quick.Hold on, No, I got
it, I got it, Igot it, got it. No,
I don't got it. It isgoing on on my show. God,
I have to do everything myself.Yes, I know, but like,
where's where's my photo? Where's myphoto? Okay, now I can taggle.
(02:46):
There we go. I'm waiting.Okay. So anyway, what did
you do this weekend? Not much. I just kind of like hung out
with uh, you know, Ijust hung out watch some shows and just
you know, caught up on somesleep and you know, went to the
(03:07):
movies. Whatever. Did you seeany good movies? Uh? It's okay.
That's something Laura kan would say ifshe hadn't seen any good movies.
Eric, what did what did youdo? Oh? Man? What didn't
I do? I went shopping.I bitched out a dairy queen employee,
got the name of her manager.She's fired now, oh I got.
(03:30):
I just love it when you callbusinesses. Oh my god, I just
love it. I live for it. It's my favorite thing. I think
I started a small business where peoplecan pay me to bitch out managers and
their there with you sometime when youdid it. Yeah, aren't you embarrassed?
Though? That's super embarrassing, isn'tit. No, No, not
(03:52):
at all. I get my haircut into a bob Hey, uh,
Laura, what did you do thisweekend? You didn't say good. Yeah,
I went to the casino and notI know, Producer Brian. Oh
my god. I went to thecasino and I made the mistake of pulling
(04:15):
a you Eric, and I wasvery hot, and I wore a new
dress that had a zipper up thefront, and I got my vagina caught
in the zipper. Was so embarrassing. Oh my god, was that pain.
I mean, I've gotten my wienertrapped in the zipper all the time
because I don't wear underwear, soI know what that feels like. Yeah,
(04:35):
I told my scroll them off oncethey had to surgically reattach it.
Oh my god, that's so pain. It made bigger though somehow, I
don't know. Oh, okay,how about this. What was the best
thing that happened to you this week? I was Producer Brian trying to like,
I'm trying to be more optimistic.I'm trying to be more optimistic.
(04:59):
It really is. I'm sorry.I won't talking to them anyways. I
hang out. I hung out withKeanu Reeves this weekend. I'm not supposed
to talk about it because I don'ttell you one about that. Well,
I would I would like to.I'd like to know if you have any
updates for us on Keanu Reeves sinceyou hung out with them this weekend.
You know, just a little bitof this, a little bit of that.
You know. Wow, I guesswe'll see always that knocking the door
(05:23):
is that Keanu Reeves? Who knows? Maybe next week? Maybe not.
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(07:15):
J today at eight five eight fivefive two six nine six zero or email
him at J. A. Yw at Capitolgrowthinc. Dot com. Oh
there we go. Wow, Brian. That was I feel like producer Brian
a warning about that earlier. Iknow for producer Brian is very nervous.
(07:36):
Now I can producer and can't fade. Wait, hold on, let me
get the eyeball. I'm touching theeyeball. Brian. You really you your
eyebrows, like really really good.I can't wait. Wait wait that's me.
Hold on, hold on, Iam doing it. Hold on,
(07:58):
let me do fade right. Ohmy god, Eric, can you help?
Sorry, Producer Brian, I don'tknow is going on. This is
a complete and total utter shite.Don't show. There we go, there
we go. Thank god, Okay, thank you so much. Oh to
our sponsors, I really thank youto our sponsors. I really appreciate both
(08:18):
of you. I love you,Jay Wurtzler, Hoya Cosmetics, I love
you, guys. Thank you forfilling me full of love and botox.
Still been using all my my creamsI got from them. You look like
you're twenty four. You'd be surprised, you know. It's a miracle what
(08:39):
science can do for one. Toobad. It is number my true age.
I'm twenty three actually, or areyou twenty four or twenty three?
Yeah? I think you are producer, Brian. I would guess that is
your age. Oh my god,my hair is falling out all the gummy
bearers, I think. Oh my, I haven't Brian, I haven't had
(09:00):
gummy bears in like eight weeks.Actually that was me Eric that said that.
I mean Eric, Yeah, Ihaven't had gummy bears in like eight
weeks, but I have had ared Bull. I'm back on the red
ball, so you know whatever.Okay, So, uh, Brian,
what is everything going okay back thereon my show? On your show?
(09:26):
Yeah? Because if it's on yourshow, yes, Brian, if it's
not going well on my Laura Kaneafter Dark, it's on the Marquee,
I know you. If it's notgoing well, then you're not getting He
has never done anything wrong on thisshow before. Never. No, he's
amazing. He's just having an offnight. Eric is like, he's a
god to me. Thank you.Eric is a god to me, Thank
you friend. I've worked hard forthat. He's not talking to you about
(09:50):
me. Oh sorry, Yes,Brian doesn't like me. No, he
barely tolerates me. He loves you, though you can do no wrong.
You could take a ship right hereand he'd be like, that's great.
Mm hmmm mm hmmm. Yeah,Brian does not like me. Oh my
god, there's so much sweatriting downmy ass crack right now? Is that?
(10:11):
Are you? Are you for realright now? Because I'm Eric?
Of course there's oh, there's alwaysunderwear. No, oh, I don't
own any actually, Oh my god, Oh are you, uh Laura,
wearing any underwear? That's the questionI am. After my lady issue at
the casino the other night, Ihave to yeah, well, hey,
(10:41):
Eric, I did I found Icould barely leave my house. Oh jesus,
I do you have my host chattoday, Laura? I do I
do my host chat? Oh?Thank you Brian for that music. My
god, that's new. I loveit. Oh it's great. So my
(11:03):
host chat is did you both hear? And all of you watching the listeners?
I love you, guys, Ericand I love you, Brian loves
you. We all love you.Thank you for tuning in and watching.
This is a new dress, andI'm not I might take it back to
Ross. I think the price tagis still on it. Something tells me
(11:28):
they won't want it. It's it'sa little Oh, they'd take it back.
They probably apparently no produce friend.You know what, I've never set
foot at a ross. Sorry,I'm more like a target guy. Sounds
really true. Yeah, I'm moregive me home goods all day, but
(11:50):
not. Eric loves home goods.That's why I love Eric. I I
do love home goods. That's whatEric's my bff. Yeah, show you
too. I'm sure the feelings mutual. Yeah right, Eric, I mean
I go to home Goods to pickup men. Seriously, the killing it's
a it's a killing floor really reallyseems like it a lot of gay men
(12:13):
in there. I think producer Brianwould make that guess every time he walks
past. Probably so Yeva's chat Ido. So have you guys seen the
cruise ship where the people got leftin Did you see that? No?
Where they were in South Africa andthey went on a on a private excursion
(12:33):
when they got to port and therewere I think eight people and they were
an hour late getting back and theit was Norwegian Cruises, and they left
them and these people went to themedia and said, oh, they should
have just waited for us, andyou know they take customer service too seriously
(12:54):
and everything, and I thought thebacklash has been really really bad against the
yes because they if it was me, I would have gotten on the horn,
literally the ship's horn to corporate rightthen. And I was said,
turn your scrawny ship around before Iswim out there myself, and I put
a hole in the bottom of it, and we all sink because if I'm
(13:16):
not going home, nobody's going home. Well, Brian, they have no
I mean Eric, sorry, producer, Brian. I got mixed up on
who I was talking to. Theyhave a certain protocol, they have to
be in port by a certain timeand they have to pay to dock tough.
I would say, excuse me,whatever ship management company you are,
(13:37):
do you know how much sweat isrunning down my ass crack right now?
I need a shower in my tinyone foot square foot cruise ship shower,
So please turn around otherwise we're gonnahave some serious issues. I'm gonna be
wanting a handful of vouchers. Sowait, are they suing? Wait?
What's happening? They're they're upset becausethey had to take like extra lights,
(14:00):
They had to take extra time toget back on the boat because the boat
left them. And I say,I'm going to sound like you for a
second, Eric, I say,good. If they think that boat should
have waited for them and wasted everybodyelse this time, they're wrong. A
plane won't wait for you. Ifyou're late to a plane, too bad,
they take off a trail. IfI was there, that boat would
(14:20):
have waited. Well, it wouldhave waited if they were on a a
tour that was approved by the oceanliner. If you were on an approved
sightseeing thing or whatever through the throughNorwegian, then they would have waited.
But because it was a private tour, they were an hour late. And
(14:43):
you're supposed to be back on theship like forty five to an hour early,
so technically they were like two hourslate, okay, and then they
have no room to talk exactly.Wow, we we actually agree on something
we do. That's like incredible.Do you love me? This is strange.
I feel like this wouldn't normally havenot really, Brian, do you
love me? Sure? If wouldyou tell me that you love me?
(15:13):
No comment? Oh great, okay, Eric, do you love me?
Yeah? Of course, of course. So I didn't hear you actually say
it. It's so easy. Yousaid I didn't say I love you?
Laura? Oh well, producers Brianbeing a real bitch right now. That
reminds me of someone else signed though, But Eric, I love you,
I mean Laura, I love you. Thank you, Eric. Oh my
(15:39):
god, I love you too.You'll never get me stayed on camera someone
who looks like Laura. But youknow what, I'm really going to save
that tape. I'm going to savethat tape. I have to apologize.
I you know, now that I'min my fifties, sixties, I shut
up my fifties, I you know. And I don't get my period anymore.
(16:00):
I'm starting to get all that facialhair that they talk about and it's
just coming in so fast. Istill get my period. God, I
know you get your man period,what like once a week every day.
Well, you had called those threecompanies usually that usually from two am to
ten pm. I'm on my period. Oh my god. Yeah, Well,
(16:22):
producer Briand do you have a hostshot? Yeah? Yeah, I
went. I went to the LafayetteHotel yesterday for dinner and drinks. You
did. It was great, Itwas good. It was It's very nice.
Why don't you ever take me there? Eric, cause your best friend
number ten I took best friend numberone. You took Marla. Yeah,
(16:44):
that was it was Marla. Itook Marla. Well, if Marla was
in town, I would have takenher because she is rich and lives in
rich people town. So I wentwith somebody else. Do you know with
Karen? Uh? You know,the name's not born. But they don't
worry or they're they're higher rank thanyou on the friendship list. But anyways,
Wow, incredible pool that I didn'tswim in because you had to stay
(17:07):
there in. The rooms are likesix hundred bucks a night. But great
hotel, bar, awesome restaurant thatI didn't realize was going to be incredibly
expensive, really expensive. It's ohI've heard about it looks like a Gothic
church inside. It's really cools.The Fair. That's the first time you've
sat the fair? A strange word. What do you think? I'm God
(17:32):
doesn't care for me? Yes,produce your rye. Sometimes I think,
No, Eric, don't I do? Pretty sure we're all feel a little
off tonight. Yes, we're veryoff tonight, very not feeling like my
normal facial hair hair that you guys, I'm very very sensitive tonight. I'm
very No, that's normal, that'snot different, super that's actually super like
(17:57):
you should be less tonight, youknow, I'm really Anyways, I have
some pictures, but I'll just showthe camera because Eric doesn't know technology.
So oh yeah, that's Eric.You know you could have sent these to
me like and I could have putthem on. Does everyone see this?
No, not even closed the tech. It's technology. Everyone can see.
(18:22):
Let's see something. Here's the restaurant. Was that everyone need to see this
technology? That Eric, right,It is so insane that I can use
technology to hold a picture up andeveryone around the world can see it.
Literally, do see exact same thing? Best friend numbers seven and a half.
Laura producer Brian like, what doyou what do you make the podcast
(18:45):
work? Show the picture? ProducerBrian see beautiful? I can't. Anyways,
it's really pretty Eric. Yeah.Yeah. Anyways, the only one
that's getting everybody's name straight. Yeah, I think so, Laura. Anyways,
it was amazing. It was great. My friend knew one of the
(19:07):
knew the hostess there, so wegot some free drinks. Shout out to
Marco's he was great. Play theweird time to give you a shoutoutcase at
the Kiote and the Lafayette, itwas great. And then we went to
the hotel bar, which was awesome, very nice. A little bit of
a bitches. The bartender's a littleannoying. I didn't talk to the manager
(19:30):
this time because I just wanted toget my drink. Pretty expensive, it's
pretty expensive to go out nowadays.Dinner for two was one hundred odd dollars.
Did you have drinks? The drinksfor two were forty two bucks?
How many did you have? Oneeach? So it was a total of
two drinks? WHOA? You nevertake me out to dinner anymore? Eric,
(19:52):
Well, once you hit top threeagain, we'll see. I'll reevaluate
that. Okay. I mean,you're, of course your top three,
but you gotta be top two,your top one. I don't know.
You're so busy working doing your trafficgig. I know, god, I'm
very very busy. I was busyall weekend, you know, working.
What's the best thing that happened toyou this weekend? Besides getting my lips
(20:15):
cut caught in my dress, that'swhat it sounds like, the worst thing,
Oh my god. The best thingthat happened to me this weekend was
I did another audition. Oh no, yeah, And do you think you
could do a little totally, totallyI could. I played I played a
washed up porn star who is nowa mom of three. Mm hmmmm,
(20:40):
yeah, I thought you were playinga character. Well, I don't have
three kids. I only have two, well three, counting counting you,
yes, counting me. I thought, Oh no, I'm your future husband.
Yes. No, you guys aregoing to live together, right,
that's right, we are going tolive together. We are going to live
(21:03):
together. And now, Eric,you're gonna have to shave me on top
of everything else, because I can'tstop this haircualry. If you shave me,
I'm done. Easy. You don'tstop it easy. So do I
get a host chat? Well,we don't usually give producer Brian a host
chat. I thought you'd like tohear part of my dialogue from my Oh
(21:27):
god, of course, Sorry Brian, Sorry, we have real brat How
you are just trying to rush things, you guys? I worked all day,
okay, sitting editing videos. Thatsounds like a hard job. I'm
really really freaking hard. I workedall day. There's a trash can on
the eight o five north. Everybodystay clear. I mean, how hello?
(21:49):
You know I was listening to theradio this morning, and there was
traffic, and I went, Ishould go see if Flora's talking about it,
so I would jumped on the radio. Nothing betrayed me. Peep for
Laura Kane. Maybe she was offat that time, or maybe I was
off at that time. I mighthave been on a break. She was.
Probably you were probably in the backrooms doing more auditions. I probably,
(22:10):
Well, I can't do that oncompany time, but you do.
So what was the audition? Areyou gonna are you gonna like give us
some lines or yeah? Okay.The movie has an awesome title. What
it's called Milf Money? Okay,And I play a retired porn star who
(22:33):
did all the milf stuff and myboyfriend finds out about my porn past.
Oh no, okay, I'll bethe boyfriend if you want to be the
okay, So here just read here, read this off my phone. I
have the you know, I havethe Yeah, I have the script on
(22:55):
my phone. So just just readwrite there okay, okay, yeah,
okay, and and I'll tell youexactly. Thank you all for all the
hearts, guys, Oh my god, so great aways. Okay, bitch,
I just found out that you havesucked dick a lot on TV Internet
(23:18):
TV. What the hell, garIt's not true. My name's not Garrett.
Is that the last guy you stooped? I'm Ralph. Do you even
remember my name? Ralph? Maybeyou still do adult films? Ralph Garrett,
listen, sit, it is mymiddle name. I forgot. I
(23:41):
know. I always call you Garrett, baby doll. I mean, I
can't be held responsible for my past. I had to do what I needed
to do to get through nursing school. You're not a nurse. I was
going to be see. That waspretty good. That was right there,
right there? You like that?That was actually believable. Disagree with that?
(24:07):
It seemed a little seemed a littlewoody to me. Would okay?
I have a host chat. Soit's a show I watched this weekend.
It was very much up my alleybecause it's a like a film noir ish
Eric, can you get a littlecloser to me here? Not in the
(24:29):
camera? Very thank you. Wewant to this show to be professional.
Thank you. It is called Ripley. It's on Netflix and it's shot completely
in black and white and white orpost production produced at black and white.
Uh, Eric, I didn't knowyou knew that much about film behind the
scenes. Well, I've been onso many film sets, that's true.
(24:52):
I forgot. I forgot. Okay, well I don't. I don't know
the answer to that. I'm I'massuming that producer Brian no, I'm assuming
No. I believe it was authenticallyblack and white film. I don't know.
I mean, I do know,but I'm not going to tell you
because I don't feel like explain itto you right now. That's fair anyway.
(25:14):
The story now, look, it'sslow, but it's good. I'm
out. It's six episodes, it'sa limited series, and the shots are
so incredibly beautiful and artistic. AndI think that Laura, I don't think
you'd be a fan Eric for sure, because you appreciate the finer things in
(25:37):
life, of course, like myfavorite movie, The body Man's hit Man's
Bodyguard's Wife. Oh in three dOh my god, that sounds so stupid.
What's your favorite who's your favorite artist? Again? I'm sorry, Kelly
Clarkson or her mistress? Uh,miss Bernard ch Miss Bernard Bernard songstresses har
(26:00):
Donna, the way her boobs sitin that little corset she wears. Oh
my god, you guys are soridiculous, Laura. It looks like you're
a melting on the count right.You should see my ass crack. My
vagina is so wet. Oh mygod. Please please, as your producer,
I beg you please, Let's notgo down that rabbit hole. Okay,
(26:22):
guys, I'm trying to. Let'sjust try to be like, you
know, cool. My my underwearjust slid hot. Okay, if I
was wearing any Eric, yes,producer, Brian shut up with Laura.
Why are you answering for Eric?Geez? Oh? Sorry, guess what.
(26:44):
It's the Daily Dirt. It is, indeed, and there is a
lot of boring news I need tobring you. Oh my god, stuff
is so important. If you didn'tknow immediately, you wouldn't care afterwards.
Okay. Number one country artist MorganWallam was arrested for throwing a chair from
a rooftop bar in Nashville. Iheard about that. Why who's Morgan?
(27:07):
Was Dick. He's like a countryartist. He's like, he's huge,
a huge country art. Hate countrymusic, country music. I know,
but I know who people are becauseI actually watched the news. Unlike somebody
else. I know there political news. I know that for a fact.
Excuse me, I'm a huge EltonJohn fan and the things are just falling
(27:29):
off my Yes. Of course,though last time you went to Elton John
concert you left after thirty minutes.Yes, Brian, I had some shopping
to do. I need to getlike an Elton John pillow. Yes.
Anyways, moving on, wrote thenew Romeo and Juliette movie Coming Out,
director slams barrage of racial abuse towardsstar Francesca am A Wooda Rivers. They
(27:55):
cast a Tom Holland and this newlady who is African American, and everyone
is not happy with that. Sothe director is everybody just get real chilled
the break out. That's right.That's a little heavy even news topic for
our show. That just seems alittle like that wouldn't happen these days,
you know, like, what,what's the what's the big uproar? Why?
Why? What's the problem. I'msurprised. Producer Brian's on our side
(28:18):
always say he was a huge racist. I know, thanks a lot.
Anyways, Oddly, my phone didn'trecognize my face. You look at you
don't look at day over thirty five, darling, Thank you, Eric,
God you're thirty five hundred years.You're so sweet to me. Anyways.
(28:41):
Jonathan Majors, who was attached,was a star of the Marvel universe,
but he was dropped after he wasconvicted of domestic assault. But he was
just sentenced by avoided jail time.Jonathan Major's that is, he beat his
girlfriend or I'm sorry, domestic assaultedhis girlfriend Grace Jabbardi in the back of
(29:03):
their car last March, but hewas only required to do fifty two weeks
of in person therapy. Interesting.Wow, shocking is that it were?
Oh good, Jesus, do youhave you know who Stephen Baldwin is?
Yeah? Did you maybe? Didyou hear about his daughter? Tell me
about it? She was arrested.She was arrested at a nightclub because she
(29:29):
got into a fight with one ofthe bartenders and she pulled out her tampon
and threw it and then she puncheda bouncer in the face. Shocked,
I didn't hear that news. Yeah, Oh, here's a big one.
Sasha barre Conan and Isla Fisher divorcingfourteen Oh way, no way. Why
if I was straight, I wouldhit up I would hit up Ela Fisher
(29:52):
so fat, big time. Sheis so stinking sexy? What happened my
mistress? If she could die it, Eric, why don't you just get
a real I would she knows?I exist, she'd be She'd be Isla
Rimmer Fisher. Huh, she'd beIsla Fisher Rimmer. Oh, Isla Fisher
(30:15):
Rimmer. Anyways, there you doesit really matter? I'll take her if
it helps. Uh. Cole bringsplenty star or an actor in the hit
show nineteen twenty three, the prequelto Yellowstone, was found dead at twenty
seven oh in the middle of thewoods, not far from his car.
No cause of death has been reported. They have no clue. Oh no,
(30:37):
Johnson County, Johnston County, Kansas. No freaking nowhere. That sound
don't get to Kansas. Oh way, I say. Oh, And shockingly,
Lizzo is actually not quitting music now, she's just quitting negative energy.
I quit that show show, honey, what shoe? That's what I live
(31:00):
on, man, I wish youwould quit. That's what I live on.
Negative energy. Speaking of which,uh, well, no, keep
going, keep going. Sorry sorry? Actually, actually did you hear about
Kiss? They're sell their whole catalog, their catalog of their music and everything.
Kiss related for three hundred million dollarsto some uh some company called Pophouse
(31:27):
Entertainment, and now they're going todevelop a hologram show. So those dudes
don't even have to perform. They'regoing to be holograms. Now, could
that? Yeah? That way,I wouldn't have to drive all the way
in here. It would be greatas long as I have to wear underwear.
Yeah. Actually, and I couldjust do my traffic reports twenty four
seven from your bed lord. Youwould love that. I know. Oh
(31:52):
my god. I wouldn't even haveto get out of bed. I feel
like I could do anyway. It'slike Chill twenty four to seven. Also,
I have one more piece of this. One's a little more interesting.
So there's a there's a famous setof conjoined twins name Brittany and Abby Hensel,
and they just got married one ofthem. Did I heard this?
(32:13):
So the big question is are theydoing it? What's the other twins doing?
One probably does anal and the otherone takes it the regular way.
That's not really how their heads arealigned. But well, they they're saying
that two heads one body. They'resaying that if they she's feeling if one
she's feeling it. They're both feeling. Both brains are feeling. Let me
(32:37):
just read their statement. Okay,this is what they said on x formally
Twitter, because everyone is asking,We're just going to tell you. Yes,
I have sex with my husband.Yes, I go down on him.
I guess her face is just alsokind of there. Yes, my
sister Brittany is there. Yes,my sister organ and orgasm is one.
But when I sleep with my husband, she's usually reading a book, or
(32:57):
for listening to a true crime podcast, or she just puts the pleasure out
of her mind. How does onejust listen to a podcast? Well ahead
also attached? You just casually gettingplow next to you? Hold on?
How do you read a book ifyou've got to? Are you just like
hold on? Are you just likewith another feast? Basically? Now,
(33:22):
look, if you grew up likethat, you know how to detach yourself,
I would think medically speaking, ofcourse, medically speaking, detach yourself,
I don't know. Yeah, whydon't you guys just separate from a
minute? Jesus? I mean,does the one close her eyes? I
don't get it, probably, Butmy question is how awkward was it losing
(33:45):
their virginity and they had never donethat before. And did the guy who
did that? Was he sleeping withtwo people or just one? Two two
brains? But two people, twobrains. You have two individuals. But
(34:07):
does one of the brains like itin the butt and one likes it in
the I don't know. I don'tknow what happens when the other one wants
to get married? Well, thisis I know right, Okay, man,
you're having sex with my wife?No, it's my wife. Here's
my question, like, if he'sgoing downtown, do they both like are
(34:28):
they both like? Yeah? That'swhat That's what the statement said. That
would be weird. That would belike having a stereo. Yeah. What
I'm curious is as a man,Eric, Well, no, you wouldn't
let me answer this. Let meanswer this, Okay, okay, okay,
okay, as a man, yes, straight man, I think it
would be fantastic to have two womenorgasm at the same time. From just
(34:53):
me you, yes, I thinkit would be fantastic. As mine.
I think you would actually hate that. Brian. I'm calling your mom and
telling her what you just said.Oh God, he's gonna love that.
Don't worry. I'll I'll don't worry, Laura. I'm gonna send this to
(35:14):
Brian's my mom. I'm gonna sendthis to my mom. Only the good
stuff, only the good stuff,stuff about the show. Ripley. She'll
like that. Oh yeah, I'msure she will. Anyway, I follow
your mom and she follows me,and she loves me, so yeah yeah,
oh yeah, Brian's mom loves me. Yeah. She told me that
you like everything she posts. Oh, I totally do. It's not weird.
(35:37):
Yeah. Anyways, what I thoughtwas most interesting about these conjoined twins
is she says that she also goesdown in her husband, which means the
sister trying to listen to the truecrime podcast is just bobbing up in the
water while she's trying to enjoy herpodcast. Again. Detachment, detachment,
detachment. Well, those those headsare stuck together, so I don't know
(35:58):
how much you can attach. Okay, I guess if one got tired of
giving a blowjob, the other onewould just I don't think that. I
don't think they'd take turns now kenOkay, time out, time out?
Okay, Producer Brian May I jointhe couch, and can we actually talk
about the eclipse in real life,our real life beings. Well, Brian,
(36:22):
there's really not want to join thecouch for where are you gonna sit
right in between both of you?That's okay, you can stay where you're
at, but that people on Instagramcan't see me, and that's not fair
to people on Instagram. That's okay, we keep it that way. Never
had the problem with it before.Actually, I mean I never want me
to do, Brian, like doeverything on the show. Do you want
(36:42):
me to go over there and runthe controls while you're up here? Well,
that would be a nightmare of Laura. If you ran the controls,
Laura, I bet the show wouldbe a ship show. Now it probably
would. Jesus, hey, hasa show been running fine so far for
the most part, For the mostpart, Yes, Brian, you always
do a bang up job. Usuallynot tonight totally. Anyways, I did
watch the eclipse though, so didI. And you know what, I
(37:07):
made one of those little boxes,those little like things you do in a
oh you oh where did you getthose? Amazon? And I can't see
a thing more? Eric, Thoseare so cool? Okay, wait,
wait, we want to wear apair? Oh? I really wanted some
of those sixteen bucks for three.Downside is I can't see a fucking thing
right now. God, that's whatI need. Did you see the eclipse?
(37:30):
I did? I did? Wasit cool? Was it worth the
sixteen dollars? Yeah? Sure,It's one of those things that if you
see it, great if you Ifyou don't, you'll be bummed for about
two minutes and then you'll forget aboutit. Well okay, oh wow,
is it completely blacked out? Theonly thing I can see is very faintly
those lamps. I can't. Ohyeah, I can barely see. That's
(37:52):
literally and the ring a little bit. So good. Your skin is so
smooth, Thank you you? Okay, so dark? Are you doing black
face? Totally? Here's what Idid. So. I didn't prepare because
I just didn't. I don't know. But I was reading on Sunday night
that the peak of the eclipse wasat eleven eleven exactly, and that supposedly
(38:16):
is a magical number if you believe. But Laura, if you believe with
Laura things, I'm surprised you're evenreading that, Producer, Ryan jo,
No, it just happened to beon my feed. I mean I didn't
want to read in it, butuh, so I decided, you know,
why not, I'm how what I'mgonna be forty almost fifty by the
(38:37):
next by the time this happens again, I don't forty four. So anyway,
I decided, I'm just going togo out and sit outside and see
if it gets darker or you know, feels cooler, or if I can
feel the actual sun getting less andless and less. And I made one
of those boxes and you prick ahole in it and you look in the
(38:58):
box and you can see it.I can't see for shit right now,
Like my eyes are messed up.I did not look at the sun.
I did not look directly at theeclipse. But I looked in the box
at the little pinhole at the sun. And I'm not kidding. My eyes
are screwed right now. Wait withthe pinhole, you're supposed to look at
(39:20):
the projection of the pinholes. Idid anything else. I did down into
the box. It doesn't make sense, I know, but I know it
doesn't make sense. I did notlook at the side, I really didn't,
but oh my god, I staredat that, at that projection.
I looked down in the box.I put the white thing on the box
at the right at the bottom,and then I covered half of it and
(39:40):
I poked the hole and you couldsee the little thing and you could see
that little moon shaped sun parts asit was going, as the full effect
was happening. And then still rightnow, I like, one eye sees
blurry, one eye sees like kindof a cross eye. I feel crazy
(40:01):
you you looked at it wrong.Yeah, normally, Producer Brian, I
feel like you'd be smarter than that. Yeah. I thought I was being
smart. I didn't, I sweardid and look at the sun my Thursday
show. He'll be back to hisnormal Yeah, I think so. Oh
did uh producer Brian bring his dongor something? That's what's going on anyway.
(40:23):
Uh So that was pretty cool.I'm surprised, Laura that you did
not go out into the sun andand and like magically infuse your crystals or
something. Yeah. I'm surprised youalso didn't stare directly at into it.
Considering producer Brian, I was verybusy at work. Where do you work
(40:45):
doing what job? iHeartRadio? Ohyou worked there? Yes, I was
doing the traffic. You just hada gig? No? No, no,
you mean my my part time actingyes, no, no, no,
no no, that was just toreading that I did. She hasn't
gotten any gigs yet, Okay,I know, but I'm sure hoping that
I get this milk one. Youlook a lot like a milk I know.
(41:08):
I mean, you, guys,your hair looks kind of cute.
Oh wait, I wouldn't say that, never weird. God, thank you,
producer Bride. God, you've gotsuch a good eye hair. I'm
gonna come over just so people onInstagram can see what I look like like.
Producer Brian is dying for some attention. I am dying for some attention.
(41:30):
I know. Wait, God,that's so sweet of you to wear.
I'm going to sit on this dogElvis. I'm not gonna fart anyway.
I mean, hi, guys,don't fart on my dog. Okay,
(41:51):
So we should probably end this becauseit's been too long, unless you
guys have something else you want totalk about. I mean, I'm trying
to be a producer. I'm tryingto be a better producer to you guys,
because you know I'm almost here twoyears now. I know. Oh
my gosh, you guys, JanaReeves is coming. Apparently I was based
on things I maybe know, butcan't really. Almost May. Right next
(42:14):
month, we're having a big anniversaryparty for Brian. There's going to be
some very interesting things happening, likewe're hoping to have it at Sequan.
We love Sequon, we love Sequon. I know you're working on that.
How's that coming? I am It'scoming along great? Is there? Yes?
(42:35):
Yes, Brian is going to beso excited. I bet I thought
there was another occasion for the partyas well. I don't think, seeing
as it was be on the twentyfourth of me. Oh yeah, it's
my birthday. Oh no, we'redoing that different day. Yes, it's
going to be my birthday in Brian'sanniversary and I want everybody to be there.
(42:59):
It's going to be super fun.And you know, Brian's second anniversary,
my sixtieth birthday. I thought therewas. I mean, I'm trying
to be cool here. I'm tryingto be cool, dude, I'm not
(43:22):
even getting drive Vagina. What elsedid you say, Harry Vagina and Zipper
awfully crashed and weren't listening. Ididn't say that I had a drive Vagina,
But how did you know? II s not say that I had
(43:49):
to drive China. But it doessound like whatever I have to do anything.
Rather, it does sound like I'mjust crunching up a handful of leaves.
I would know. I swing everywhereI go. I know we all
(44:09):
know that you don't have uh we'reunderwear, and that you have baby big
junk, Laura. I just Ijust want to get a gander at that
dress full force. Can you standup please? Well, it's new,
it came I would love to seeit. It came from a grals.
(44:30):
Uh, okay, let's see.Look at your body. Your boob's kind
of looking at Look at your body. Wow, I've been working out and
(44:50):
yeah, it's you can and seethat just the hairy butthole of your Cleavid,
your pads are coming out, bythe way. Oh god, you're
a disaster, a complete disaster.Time to go see doctor Wheedler again,
I know. Oh my god,you guys, I think it was a
(45:10):
different doctor that did doctor Swiston.There you go, Thank you doctor Swiston
for these babies. Yeah, allright, guys, I think it's time
to wrap up the show because we'relike going on almost an hour now.
Oh my god, we had somuch to talk about, you guys.
We have to talk about what else? I don't know. Wow, you
(45:35):
seem really unprepared. Yeah, really, you know it? Eric? Are
you going to go back to Rosswith me to return this? Oh?
I don't know. I you know, lasked my waiting there. They gave
me dirty looks because I may havebroken several toilets in the process of you
trying on that dress? Do youthink that that dress being worn by you,
(46:00):
Laura sweating in it and everything,is the one of the worst things
ever returned to Ross? What doyou think is one of the worst things
ever returned to Ross? I thinkit'd be worse if I wore it with
my sweaty butt crack syndrome, witheverything. Oh my god, Eric,
you would probably you would probably lookso good in this. Probably. I
mean we are pretty much the samesize. I bet we would look pretty
(46:20):
similar if I was wearing if Ericme erk Rimer was wearing it, you
would, you would probably. We'reboth like a size for at least.
Yeah, totally. I really wouldlike to know. Ryan would never say
that? What what what would youlike to say? I want to see
the underwear you're wearing store behind itconsidering that or is it just too obscene.
(46:52):
Well it can you, Sharon stonisa little bit maybe because you said,
Laura, did you take your underwearoff before we No, no,
no, I want to say thatI have that were the case, I
mean, producer Brian, that's kindof personal because you know, I have
on my special Monday underwear, whichare for when I go out on my
(47:16):
tender dates after the show. Right, no action because that can't physically happen,
you know, with it being kindof without my monostat seven right now,
it is rather dry. By theway, I don't remember what it's
called. You probably have that too. I'm glad that you know. But
(47:42):
my underwear, I have underwear thatsays different things on it. My my
Monday underwear says choking hazard on it. Oh god, it would be a
real treat, a real treat.Or is it too obscene? Honestly?
Well, we want to see hiscamel toe? Yeah, I don't really
want you to see my camera.I don't want to see choking hazard with
(48:04):
the How about this? I didn'tlord give those wait didn't wait, I
don't know. Now. I gavethem. I gave them to Eric,
oh yes, for Christmas, andthen I gave them back to you clearly.
Yeah, and you gave them backto me when you found out that
I had to drive Vagina. Ohmy god, I hate both of you,
right, it's so bad, sobad. I do after after the
(48:25):
show, on Thursday's show, I'llgive them back to you, Eric,
and you can hold them up andshow everybody what I was wearing. Once
I grow some facial hair again,maybe there might be some like old leaves
in there. I'm going to cutyou know what, Hey, what am
I doing? I've controlled this show. I can just cut this off right
now. Why haven't I cut itoff? I know? Oh we have
(48:47):
to lock out? Yeah? Yeah, so are we locking out? Yeah?
I think that's time. Thank God, because I need to so wrap
it up. Oh my god.Thank you everybody for watching. We love
you. Thank you to our sponsors, Jay Wurtzler and the Way of Cosmetics.
Thank you all. We love you, we love you, we love
(49:10):
you, love your podcast, andlove you my sweet babies. Eric.
I love you, thank you.I love this show. Thank you.
I love Cinema. I love you. Producer Ryan Okay, m hmm,
(49:31):
little mediocre on you right now.Starting to get a little annoyed myself.
I love you, Eric, Itoo have a choking handswer I just took
my underwear so not able to wearthat. I'm going to go up and
chase Oh man, Yeah, Eric, time is taken. Log out.
We have another show to do,do we? Yes? There's one more.
(49:53):
Ryan needs to dry like five minutes? Yes, probably thirty? Yeah?
Yeah? Can you just lock out? I need to change for the
next show? Can we go toRoss after this? Sure? Wait?
Hold on? What do I dowhen when we pushed? When you got?
When you finally say it? Ithink maybe you should fade back to
(50:14):
the start screen. Oh really,Eric? And then have you been watching
TikTok or YouTube? Look? Thedirty secret is that producer Brian has been
coming to me for technical advice fora long time. That's how I'm able
to show pictures on my phone straightto the stream. Is technology like that?
That's great? Brian needs help withthat something. Can you log out?
(50:35):
Please? Yeah? I just thoughtmaybe you want to see some more
pictures I have. Oh my god, my eyes aren't so good, so,
oh my god. We gotta giveproducer Brian a second to figure what
he's doing over there. Here's anotherpicture from the person logging your podcast.
Oh have another picture. Oh no, no, you said it. Good
(51:04):
night you, sir Brian just pusheda good night, good night your podcast.
Thank you, Brian. Wait willnot be able to reconnect
Like, okay, so I'm gonnaput on Okay, start streaming. Remember
you're supposed to be You're supposed tobe like bitchy about I'm not talking.
I'm talking to Laura. I'm talkingabout what I'm supposed to be. Just
press space or fade, wow,being a girl. Okay, there we
(00:22):
go, and the audios are it'snot a it's not all. That's okay,
that's good. Now press Okay,there we go. Wait, hold
on, wait, I know howto get into the other screen fired producer
segment and then press fade, oh, fade, fade, fade, there
(00:45):
we go. Hey, okay,wow, Hey everybody, it's me Laura
Kine, radio star, podcast star, part time actress, full time mom,
best friend, full Hi mommy,Yeah, Hi daddy, Hi Eric,
Hey Laura, this is my Eric. This is my work husband,
(01:06):
my bff, the talent, producer, Brian the talent. Hey, what's
going on? Hold on, letme see you. Brian is not having
a good day today. Wait,hold on, hold on, he's really
no. I just haven't had mccoffee. Okay, does producer Brian. There
we go coffee. Hey, Iknow that for a fact. Oh,
producer Brian doesn't talk until he hashis first sip of coffee in the morning.
(01:29):
Produce Brian has said, you're talkinga lot, producer, Brian,
Sorry, hold on tell you soanyway? What's going on? Guys?
Hey Brian? Hey, what's goingon? Hey? What's going on?
How is how is everybody's weekend?Oh? My god? Did anyone see
the eclipse? No? Who givesa shit about the eclipse? I was
seriously doing traffic. You should gettry getting a real job, Laura.
(01:55):
I know, well, you knowthat is a real job. Eric,
my god, come on. Ericwould never say that to me. By
the way, how do you said, Brian never talked this much? So?
Uh? What's coming up on?What's coming up on the show?
Guys? Oh uh? Oh youwant to know what we did this weekend?
Oh? I'm sorry. Do youwant to know what we did this
weekend? Yeah? Okay, let'ssee. Let's see. Let's see.
(02:20):
Hold on, I think I justscrewed it up a little bit. Hold
on, hold on, I'm I'mtooggled over. I toggled over to this.
Eric, go check real quick.Hold on, No, I got
it, I got it, Igot it, got it. No,
I don't got it. It isgoing on on my show. God,
I have to do everything myself.Yes, I know, but like,
where's where's my photo? Where's myphoto? Okay, now I can taggle.
(02:46):
There we go. I'm waiting.Okay. So anyway, what did
you do this weekend? Not much. I just kind of like hung out
with uh, you know, Ijust hung out watch some shows and just
you know, caught up on somesleep and you know, went to the
(03:07):
movies. Whatever. Did you seeany good movies? Uh? It's okay.
That's something Laura kan would say ifshe hadn't seen any good movies.
Eric, what did what did youdo? Oh? Man? What didn't
I do? I went shopping.I bitched out a dairy queen employee,
got the name of her manager.She's fired now, oh I got.
(03:30):
I just love it when you callbusinesses. Oh my god, I just
love it. I live for it. It's my favorite thing. I think
I started a small business where peoplecan pay me to bitch out managers and
their there with you sometime when youdid it. Yeah, aren't you embarrassed?
Though? That's super embarrassing, isn'tit. No, No, not
(03:52):
at all. I get my haircut into a bob Hey, uh,
Laura, what did you do thisweekend? You didn't say good. Yeah,
I went to the casino and notI know, Producer Brian. Oh
my god. I went to thecasino and I made the mistake of pulling
(04:15):
a you Eric, and I wasvery hot, and I wore a new
dress that had a zipper up thefront, and I got my vagina caught
in the zipper. Was so embarrassing. Oh my god, was that pain.
I mean, I've gotten my wienertrapped in the zipper all the time
because I don't wear underwear, soI know what that feels like. Yeah,
(04:35):
I told my scroll them off oncethey had to surgically reattach it.
Oh my god, that's so pain. It made bigger though somehow, I
don't know. Oh, okay,how about this. What was the best
thing that happened to you this week? I was Producer Brian trying to like,
I'm trying to be more optimistic.I'm trying to be more optimistic.
(04:59):
It really is. I'm sorry.I won't talking to them anyways. I
hang out. I hung out withKeanu Reeves this weekend. I'm not supposed
to talk about it because I don'ttell you one about that. Well,
I would I would like to.I'd like to know if you have any
updates for us on Keanu Reeves sinceyou hung out with them this weekend.
You know, just a little bitof this, a little bit of that.
You know. Wow, I guesswe'll see always that knocking the door
(05:23):
is that Keanu Reeves? Who knows? Maybe next week? Maybe not.
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J today at eight five eight fivefive two six nine six zero or email
him at J. A. Yw at Capitolgrowthinc. Dot com. Oh
there we go. Wow, Brian. That was I feel like producer Brian
a warning about that earlier. Iknow for producer Brian is very nervous.
(07:36):
Now I can producer and can't fade. Wait, hold on, let me
get the eyeball. I'm touching theeyeball. Brian. You really you your
eyebrows, like really really good.I can't wait. Wait wait that's me.
Hold on, hold on, Iam doing it. Hold on,
(07:58):
let me do fade right. Ohmy god, Eric, can you help?
Sorry, Producer Brian, I don'tknow is going on. This is
a complete and total utter shite.Don't show. There we go, there
we go. Thank god, Okay, thank you so much. Oh to
our sponsors, I really thank youto our sponsors. I really appreciate both
(08:18):
of you. I love you,Jay Wurtzler, Hoya Cosmetics, I love
you, guys. Thank you forfilling me full of love and botox.
Still been using all my my creamsI got from them. You look like
you're twenty four. You'd be surprised, you know. It's a miracle what
(08:39):
science can do for one. Toobad. It is number my true age.
I'm twenty three actually, or areyou twenty four or twenty three?
Yeah? I think you are producer, Brian. I would guess that is
your age. Oh my god,my hair is falling out all the gummy
bearers, I think. Oh my, I haven't Brian, I haven't had
(09:00):
gummy bears in like eight weeks.Actually that was me Eric that said that.
I mean Eric, Yeah, Ihaven't had gummy bears in like eight
weeks, but I have had ared Bull. I'm back on the red
ball, so you know whatever.Okay, So, uh, Brian,
what is everything going okay back thereon my show? On your show?
(09:26):
Yeah? Because if it's on yourshow, yes, Brian, if it's
not going well on my Laura Kaneafter Dark, it's on the Marquee,
I know you. If it's notgoing well, then you're not getting He
has never done anything wrong on thisshow before. Never. No, he's
amazing. He's just having an offnight. Eric is like, he's a
god to me. Thank you.Eric is a god to me, Thank
you friend. I've worked hard forthat. He's not talking to you about
(09:50):
me. Oh sorry, Yes,Brian doesn't like me. No, he
barely tolerates me. He loves you, though you can do no wrong.
You could take a ship right hereand he'd be like, that's great.
Mm hmmm mm hmmm. Yeah,Brian does not like me. Oh my
god, there's so much sweatriting downmy ass crack right now? Is that?
(10:11):
Are you? Are you for realright now? Because I'm Eric?
Of course there's oh, there's alwaysunderwear. No, oh, I don't
own any actually, Oh my god, Oh are you, uh Laura,
wearing any underwear? That's the questionI am. After my lady issue at
the casino the other night, Ihave to yeah, well, hey,
(10:41):
Eric, I did I found Icould barely leave my house. Oh jesus,
I do you have my host chattoday, Laura? I do I
do my host chat? Oh?Thank you Brian for that music. My
god, that's new. I loveit. Oh it's great. So my
(11:03):
host chat is did you both hear? And all of you watching the listeners?
I love you, guys, Ericand I love you, Brian loves
you. We all love you.Thank you for tuning in and watching.
This is a new dress, andI'm not I might take it back to
Ross. I think the price tagis still on it. Something tells me
(11:28):
they won't want it. It's it'sa little Oh, they'd take it back.
They probably apparently no produce friend.You know what, I've never set
foot at a ross. Sorry,I'm more like a target guy. Sounds
really true. Yeah, I'm moregive me home goods all day, but
(11:50):
not. Eric loves home goods.That's why I love Eric. I I
do love home goods. That's whatEric's my bff. Yeah, show you
too. I'm sure the feelings mutual. Yeah right, Eric, I mean
I go to home Goods to pickup men. Seriously, the killing it's
a it's a killing floor really reallyseems like it a lot of gay men
(12:13):
in there. I think producer Brianwould make that guess every time he walks
past. Probably so Yeva's chat Ido. So have you guys seen the
cruise ship where the people got leftin Did you see that? No?
Where they were in South Africa andthey went on a on a private excursion
(12:33):
when they got to port and therewere I think eight people and they were
an hour late getting back and theit was Norwegian Cruises, and they left
them and these people went to themedia and said, oh, they should
have just waited for us, andyou know they take customer service too seriously
(12:54):
and everything, and I thought thebacklash has been really really bad against the
yes because they if it was me, I would have gotten on the horn,
literally the ship's horn to corporate rightthen. And I was said,
turn your scrawny ship around before Iswim out there myself, and I put
a hole in the bottom of it, and we all sink because if I'm
(13:16):
not going home, nobody's going home. Well, Brian, they have no
I mean Eric, sorry, producer, Brian. I got mixed up on
who I was talking to. Theyhave a certain protocol, they have to
be in port by a certain timeand they have to pay to dock tough.
I would say, excuse me,whatever ship management company you are,
(13:37):
do you know how much sweat isrunning down my ass crack right now?
I need a shower in my tinyone foot square foot cruise ship shower,
So please turn around otherwise we're gonnahave some serious issues. I'm gonna be
wanting a handful of vouchers. Sowait, are they suing? Wait?
What's happening? They're they're upset becausethey had to take like extra lights,
(14:00):
They had to take extra time toget back on the boat because the boat
left them. And I say,I'm going to sound like you for a
second, Eric, I say,good. If they think that boat should
have waited for them and wasted everybodyelse this time, they're wrong. A
plane won't wait for you. Ifyou're late to a plane, too bad,
they take off a trail. IfI was there, that boat would
(14:20):
have waited. Well, it wouldhave waited if they were on a a
tour that was approved by the oceanliner. If you were on an approved
sightseeing thing or whatever through the throughNorwegian, then they would have waited.
But because it was a private tour, they were an hour late. And
(14:43):
you're supposed to be back on theship like forty five to an hour early,
so technically they were like two hourslate, okay, and then they
have no room to talk exactly.Wow, we we actually agree on something
we do. That's like incredible.Do you love me? This is strange.
I feel like this wouldn't normally havenot really, Brian, do you
love me? Sure? If wouldyou tell me that you love me?
(15:13):
No comment? Oh great, okay, Eric, do you love me?
Yeah? Of course, of course. So I didn't hear you actually say
it. It's so easy. Yousaid I didn't say I love you?
Laura? Oh well, producers Brianbeing a real bitch right now. That
reminds me of someone else signed though, But Eric, I love you,
I mean Laura, I love you. Thank you, Eric. Oh my
(15:39):
god, I love you too.You'll never get me stayed on camera someone
who looks like Laura. But youknow what, I'm really going to save
that tape. I'm going to savethat tape. I have to apologize.
I you know, now that I'min my fifties, sixties, I shut
up my fifties, I you know. And I don't get my period anymore.
(16:00):
I'm starting to get all that facialhair that they talk about and it's
just coming in so fast. Istill get my period. God, I
know you get your man period,what like once a week every day.
Well, you had called those threecompanies usually that usually from two am to
ten pm. I'm on my period. Oh my god. Yeah, Well,
(16:22):
producer Briand do you have a hostshot? Yeah? Yeah, I
went. I went to the LafayetteHotel yesterday for dinner and drinks. You
did. It was great, Itwas good. It was It's very nice.
Why don't you ever take me there? Eric, cause your best friend
number ten I took best friend numberone. You took Marla. Yeah,
(16:44):
that was it was Marla. Itook Marla. Well, if Marla was
in town, I would have takenher because she is rich and lives in
rich people town. So I wentwith somebody else. Do you know with
Karen? Uh? You know,the name's not born. But they don't
worry or they're they're higher rank thanyou on the friendship list. But anyways,
Wow, incredible pool that I didn'tswim in because you had to stay
(17:07):
there in. The rooms are likesix hundred bucks a night. But great
hotel, bar, awesome restaurant thatI didn't realize was going to be incredibly
expensive, really expensive. It's ohI've heard about it looks like a Gothic
church inside. It's really cools.The Fair. That's the first time you've
sat the fair? A strange word. What do you think? I'm God
(17:32):
doesn't care for me? Yes,produce your rye. Sometimes I think,
No, Eric, don't I do? Pretty sure we're all feel a little
off tonight. Yes, we're veryoff tonight, very not feeling like my
normal facial hair hair that you guys, I'm very very sensitive tonight. I'm
very No, that's normal, that'snot different, super that's actually super like
(17:57):
you should be less tonight, youknow, I'm really Anyways, I have
some pictures, but I'll just showthe camera because Eric doesn't know technology.
So oh yeah, that's Eric.You know you could have sent these to
me like and I could have putthem on. Does everyone see this?
No, not even closed the tech. It's technology. Everyone can see.
(18:22):
Let's see something. Here's the restaurant. Was that everyone need to see this
technology? That Eric, right,It is so insane that I can use
technology to hold a picture up andeveryone around the world can see it.
Literally, do see exact same thing? Best friend numbers seven and a half.
Laura producer Brian like, what doyou what do you make the podcast
(18:45):
work? Show the picture? ProducerBrian see beautiful? I can't. Anyways,
it's really pretty Eric. Yeah.Yeah. Anyways, the only one
that's getting everybody's name straight. Yeah, I think so, Laura. Anyways,
it was amazing. It was great. My friend knew one of the
(19:07):
knew the hostess there, so wegot some free drinks. Shout out to
Marco's he was great. Play theweird time to give you a shoutoutcase at
the Kiote and the Lafayette, itwas great. And then we went to
the hotel bar, which was awesome, very nice. A little bit of
a bitches. The bartender's a littleannoying. I didn't talk to the manager
(19:30):
this time because I just wanted toget my drink. Pretty expensive, it's
pretty expensive to go out nowadays.Dinner for two was one hundred odd dollars.
Did you have drinks? The drinksfor two were forty two bucks?
How many did you have? Oneeach? So it was a total of
two drinks? WHOA? You nevertake me out to dinner anymore? Eric,
(19:52):
Well, once you hit top threeagain, we'll see. I'll reevaluate
that. Okay. I mean,you're, of course your top three,
but you gotta be top two,your top one. I don't know.
You're so busy working doing your trafficgig. I know, god, I'm
very very busy. I was busyall weekend, you know, working.
What's the best thing that happened toyou this weekend? Besides getting my lips
(20:15):
cut caught in my dress, that'swhat it sounds like, the worst thing,
Oh my god. The best thingthat happened to me this weekend was
I did another audition. Oh no, yeah, And do you think you
could do a little totally, totallyI could. I played I played a
washed up porn star who is nowa mom of three. Mm hmmmm,
(20:40):
yeah, I thought you were playinga character. Well, I don't have
three kids. I only have two, well three, counting counting you,
yes, counting me. I thought, Oh no, I'm your future husband.
Yes. No, you guys aregoing to live together, right,
that's right, we are going tolive together. We are going to live
(21:03):
together. And now, Eric,you're gonna have to shave me on top
of everything else, because I can'tstop this haircualry. If you shave me,
I'm done. Easy. You don'tstop it easy. So do I
get a host chat? Well,we don't usually give producer Brian a host
chat. I thought you'd like tohear part of my dialogue from my Oh
(21:27):
god, of course, Sorry Brian, Sorry, we have real brat How
you are just trying to rush things, you guys? I worked all day,
okay, sitting editing videos. Thatsounds like a hard job. I'm
really really freaking hard. I workedall day. There's a trash can on
the eight o five north. Everybodystay clear. I mean, how hello?
(21:49):
You know I was listening to theradio this morning, and there was
traffic, and I went, Ishould go see if Flora's talking about it,
so I would jumped on the radio. Nothing betrayed me. Peep for
Laura Kane. Maybe she was offat that time, or maybe I was
off at that time. I mighthave been on a break. She was.
Probably you were probably in the backrooms doing more auditions. I probably,
(22:10):
Well, I can't do that oncompany time, but you do.
So what was the audition? Areyou gonna are you gonna like give us
some lines or yeah? Okay.The movie has an awesome title. What
it's called Milf Money? Okay,And I play a retired porn star who
(22:33):
did all the milf stuff and myboyfriend finds out about my porn past.
Oh no, okay, I'll bethe boyfriend if you want to be the
okay, So here just read here, read this off my phone. I
have the you know, I havethe Yeah, I have the script on
(22:55):
my phone. So just just readwrite there okay, okay, yeah,
okay, and and I'll tell youexactly. Thank you all for all the
hearts, guys, Oh my god, so great aways. Okay, bitch,
I just found out that you havesucked dick a lot on TV Internet
(23:18):
TV. What the hell, garIt's not true. My name's not Garrett.
Is that the last guy you stooped? I'm Ralph. Do you even
remember my name? Ralph? Maybeyou still do adult films? Ralph Garrett,
listen, sit, it is mymiddle name. I forgot. I
(23:41):
know. I always call you Garrett, baby doll. I mean, I
can't be held responsible for my past. I had to do what I needed
to do to get through nursing school. You're not a nurse. I was
going to be see. That waspretty good. That was right there,
right there? You like that?That was actually believable. Disagree with that?
(24:07):
It seemed a little seemed a littlewoody to me. Would okay?
I have a host chat. Soit's a show I watched this weekend.
It was very much up my alleybecause it's a like a film noir ish
Eric, can you get a littlecloser to me here? Not in the
(24:29):
camera? Very thank you. Wewant to this show to be professional.
Thank you. It is called Ripley. It's on Netflix and it's shot completely
in black and white and white orpost production produced at black and white.
Uh, Eric, I didn't knowyou knew that much about film behind the
scenes. Well, I've been onso many film sets, that's true.
(24:52):
I forgot. I forgot. Okay, well I don't. I don't know
the answer to that. I'm I'massuming that producer Brian no, I'm assuming
No. I believe it was authenticallyblack and white film. I don't know.
I mean, I do know,but I'm not going to tell you
because I don't feel like explain itto you right now. That's fair anyway.
(25:14):
The story now, look, it'sslow, but it's good. I'm
out. It's six episodes, it'sa limited series, and the shots are
so incredibly beautiful and artistic. AndI think that Laura, I don't think
you'd be a fan Eric for sure, because you appreciate the finer things in
(25:37):
life, of course, like myfavorite movie, The body Man's hit Man's
Bodyguard's Wife. Oh in three dOh my god, that sounds so stupid.
What's your favorite who's your favorite artist? Again? I'm sorry, Kelly
Clarkson or her mistress? Uh,miss Bernard ch Miss Bernard Bernard songstresses har
(26:00):
Donna, the way her boobs sitin that little corset she wears. Oh
my god, you guys are soridiculous, Laura. It looks like you're
a melting on the count right.You should see my ass crack. My
vagina is so wet. Oh mygod. Please please, as your producer,
I beg you please, Let's notgo down that rabbit hole. Okay,
(26:22):
guys, I'm trying to. Let'sjust try to be like, you
know, cool. My my underwearjust slid hot. Okay, if I
was wearing any Eric, yes,producer, Brian shut up with Laura.
Why are you answering for Eric?Geez? Oh? Sorry, guess what.
(26:44):
It's the Daily Dirt. It is, indeed, and there is a
lot of boring news I need tobring you. Oh my god, stuff
is so important. If you didn'tknow immediately, you wouldn't care afterwards.
Okay. Number one country artist MorganWallam was arrested for throwing a chair from
a rooftop bar in Nashville. Iheard about that. Why who's Morgan?
(27:07):
Was Dick. He's like a countryartist. He's like, he's huge,
a huge country art. Hate countrymusic, country music. I know,
but I know who people are becauseI actually watched the news. Unlike somebody
else. I know there political news. I know that for a fact.
Excuse me, I'm a huge EltonJohn fan and the things are just falling
(27:29):
off my Yes. Of course,though last time you went to Elton John
concert you left after thirty minutes.Yes, Brian, I had some shopping
to do. I need to getlike an Elton John pillow. Yes.
Anyways, moving on, wrote thenew Romeo and Juliette movie Coming Out,
director slams barrage of racial abuse towardsstar Francesca am A Wooda Rivers. They
(27:55):
cast a Tom Holland and this newlady who is African American, and everyone
is not happy with that. Sothe director is everybody just get real chilled
the break out. That's right.That's a little heavy even news topic for
our show. That just seems alittle like that wouldn't happen these days,
you know, like, what,what's the what's the big uproar? Why?
Why? What's the problem. I'msurprised. Producer Brian's on our side
(28:18):
always say he was a huge racist. I know, thanks a lot.
Anyways, Oddly, my phone didn'trecognize my face. You look at you
don't look at day over thirty five, darling, Thank you, Eric,
God you're thirty five hundred years.You're so sweet to me. Anyways.
(28:41):
Jonathan Majors, who was attached,was a star of the Marvel universe,
but he was dropped after he wasconvicted of domestic assault. But he was
just sentenced by avoided jail time.Jonathan Major's that is, he beat his
girlfriend or I'm sorry, domestic assaultedhis girlfriend Grace Jabbardi in the back of
(29:03):
their car last March, but hewas only required to do fifty two weeks
of in person therapy. Interesting.Wow, shocking is that it were?
Oh good, Jesus, do youhave you know who Stephen Baldwin is?
Yeah? Did you maybe? Didyou hear about his daughter? Tell me
about it? She was arrested.She was arrested at a nightclub because she
(29:29):
got into a fight with one ofthe bartenders and she pulled out her tampon
and threw it and then she puncheda bouncer in the face. Shocked,
I didn't hear that news. Yeah, Oh, here's a big one.
Sasha barre Conan and Isla Fisher divorcingfourteen Oh way, no way. Why
if I was straight, I wouldhit up I would hit up Ela Fisher
(29:52):
so fat, big time. Sheis so stinking sexy? What happened my
mistress? If she could die it, Eric, why don't you just get
a real I would she knows?I exist, she'd be She'd be Isla
Rimmer Fisher. Huh, she'd beIsla Fisher Rimmer. Oh, Isla Fisher
(30:15):
Rimmer. Anyways, there you doesit really matter? I'll take her if
it helps. Uh. Cole bringsplenty star or an actor in the hit
show nineteen twenty three, the prequelto Yellowstone, was found dead at twenty
seven oh in the middle of thewoods, not far from his car.
No cause of death has been reported. They have no clue. Oh no,
(30:37):
Johnson County, Johnston County, Kansas. No freaking nowhere. That sound
don't get to Kansas. Oh way, I say. Oh, And shockingly,
Lizzo is actually not quitting music now, she's just quitting negative energy.
I quit that show show, honey, what shoe? That's what I live
(31:00):
on, man, I wish youwould quit. That's what I live on.
Negative energy. Speaking of which,uh, well, no, keep
going, keep going. Sorry sorry? Actually, actually did you hear about
Kiss? They're sell their whole catalog, their catalog of their music and everything.
Kiss related for three hundred million dollarsto some uh some company called Pophouse
(31:27):
Entertainment, and now they're going todevelop a hologram show. So those dudes
don't even have to perform. They'regoing to be holograms. Now, could
that? Yeah? That way,I wouldn't have to drive all the way
in here. It would be greatas long as I have to wear underwear.
Yeah. Actually, and I couldjust do my traffic reports twenty four
seven from your bed lord. Youwould love that. I know. Oh
(31:52):
my god. I wouldn't even haveto get out of bed. I feel
like I could do anyway. It'slike Chill twenty four to seven. Also,
I have one more piece of this. One's a little more interesting.
So there's a there's a famous setof conjoined twins name Brittany and Abby Hensel,
and they just got married one ofthem. Did I heard this?
(32:13):
So the big question is are theydoing it? What's the other twins doing?
One probably does anal and the otherone takes it the regular way.
That's not really how their heads arealigned. But well, they they're saying
that two heads one body. They'resaying that if they she's feeling if one
she's feeling it. They're both feeling. Both brains are feeling. Let me
(32:37):
just read their statement. Okay,this is what they said on x formally
Twitter, because everyone is asking,We're just going to tell you. Yes,
I have sex with my husband.Yes, I go down on him.
I guess her face is just alsokind of there. Yes, my
sister Brittany is there. Yes,my sister organ and orgasm is one.
But when I sleep with my husband, she's usually reading a book, or
(32:57):
for listening to a true crime podcast, or she just puts the pleasure out
of her mind. How does onejust listen to a podcast? Well ahead
also attached? You just casually gettingplow next to you? Hold on?
How do you read a book ifyou've got to? Are you just like
hold on? Are you just likewith another feast? Basically? Now,
(33:22):
look, if you grew up likethat, you know how to detach yourself,
I would think medically speaking, ofcourse, medically speaking, detach yourself,
I don't know. Yeah, whydon't you guys just separate from a
minute? Jesus? I mean,does the one close her eyes? I
don't get it, probably, Butmy question is how awkward was it losing
(33:45):
their virginity and they had never donethat before. And did the guy who
did that? Was he sleeping withtwo people or just one? Two two
brains? But two people, twobrains. You have two individuals. But
(34:07):
does one of the brains like itin the butt and one likes it in
the I don't know. I don'tknow what happens when the other one wants
to get married? Well, thisis I know right, Okay, man,
you're having sex with my wife?No, it's my wife. Here's
my question, like, if he'sgoing downtown, do they both like are
(34:28):
they both like? Yeah? That'swhat That's what the statement said. That
would be weird. That would belike having a stereo. Yeah. What
I'm curious is as a man,Eric, Well, no, you wouldn't
let me answer this. Let meanswer this, Okay, okay, okay,
okay, as a man, yes, straight man, I think it
would be fantastic to have two womenorgasm at the same time. From just
(34:53):
me you, yes, I thinkit would be fantastic. As mine.
I think you would actually hate that. Brian. I'm calling your mom and
telling her what you just said.Oh God, he's gonna love that.
Don't worry. I'll I'll don't worry, Laura. I'm gonna send this to
(35:14):
Brian's my mom. I'm gonna sendthis to my mom. Only the good
stuff, only the good stuff,stuff about the show. Ripley. She'll
like that. Oh yeah, I'msure she will. Anyway, I follow
your mom and she follows me,and she loves me, so yeah yeah,
oh yeah, Brian's mom loves me. Yeah. She told me that
you like everything she posts. Oh, I totally do. It's not weird.
(35:37):
Yeah. Anyways, what I thoughtwas most interesting about these conjoined twins
is she says that she also goesdown in her husband, which means the
sister trying to listen to the truecrime podcast is just bobbing up in the
water while she's trying to enjoy herpodcast. Again. Detachment, detachment,
detachment. Well, those those headsare stuck together, so I don't know
(35:58):
how much you can attach. Okay, I guess if one got tired of
giving a blowjob, the other onewould just I don't think that. I
don't think they'd take turns now kenOkay, time out, time out?
Okay, Producer Brian May I jointhe couch, and can we actually talk
about the eclipse in real life,our real life beings. Well, Brian,
(36:22):
there's really not want to join thecouch for where are you gonna sit
right in between both of you?That's okay, you can stay where you're
at, but that people on Instagramcan't see me, and that's not fair
to people on Instagram. That's okay, we keep it that way. Never
had the problem with it before.Actually, I mean I never want me
to do, Brian, like doeverything on the show. Do you want
(36:42):
me to go over there and runthe controls while you're up here? Well,
that would be a nightmare of Laura. If you ran the controls,
Laura, I bet the show wouldbe a ship show. Now it probably
would. Jesus, hey, hasa show been running fine so far for
the most part, For the mostpart, Yes, Brian, you always
do a bang up job. Usuallynot tonight totally. Anyways, I did
watch the eclipse though, so didI. And you know what, I
(37:07):
made one of those little boxes,those little like things you do in a
oh you oh where did you getthose? Amazon? And I can't see
a thing more? Eric, Thoseare so cool? Okay, wait,
wait, we want to wear apair? Oh? I really wanted some
of those sixteen bucks for three.Downside is I can't see a fucking thing
right now. God, that's whatI need. Did you see the eclipse?
(37:30):
I did? I did? Wasit cool? Was it worth the
sixteen dollars? Yeah? Sure,It's one of those things that if you
see it, great if you Ifyou don't, you'll be bummed for about
two minutes and then you'll forget aboutit. Well okay, oh wow,
is it completely blacked out? Theonly thing I can see is very faintly
those lamps. I can't. Ohyeah, I can barely see. That's
(37:52):
literally and the ring a little bit. So good. Your skin is so
smooth, Thank you you? Okay, so dark? Are you doing black
face? Totally? Here's what Idid. So. I didn't prepare because
I just didn't. I don't know. But I was reading on Sunday night
that the peak of the eclipse wasat eleven eleven exactly, and that supposedly
(38:16):
is a magical number if you believe. But Laura, if you believe with
Laura things, I'm surprised you're evenreading that, Producer, Ryan jo,
No, it just happened to beon my feed. I mean I didn't
want to read in it, butuh, so I decided, you know,
why not, I'm how what I'mgonna be forty almost fifty by the
(38:37):
next by the time this happens again, I don't forty four. So anyway,
I decided, I'm just going togo out and sit outside and see
if it gets darker or you know, feels cooler, or if I can
feel the actual sun getting less andless and less. And I made one
of those boxes and you prick ahole in it and you look in the
(38:58):
box and you can see it.I can't see for shit right now,
Like my eyes are messed up.I did not look at the sun.
I did not look directly at theeclipse. But I looked in the box
at the little pinhole at the sun. And I'm not kidding. My eyes
are screwed right now. Wait withthe pinhole, you're supposed to look at
(39:20):
the projection of the pinholes. Idid anything else. I did down into
the box. It doesn't make sense, I know, but I know it
doesn't make sense. I did notlook at the side, I really didn't,
but oh my god, I staredat that, at that projection.
I looked down in the box.I put the white thing on the box
at the right at the bottom,and then I covered half of it and
(39:40):
I poked the hole and you couldsee the little thing and you could see
that little moon shaped sun parts asit was going, as the full effect
was happening. And then still rightnow, I like, one eye sees
blurry, one eye sees like kindof a cross eye. I feel crazy
(40:01):
you you looked at it wrong.Yeah, normally, Producer Brian, I
feel like you'd be smarter than that. Yeah. I thought I was being
smart. I didn't, I sweardid and look at the sun my Thursday
show. He'll be back to hisnormal Yeah, I think so. Oh
did uh producer Brian bring his dongor something? That's what's going on anyway.
(40:23):
Uh So that was pretty cool.I'm surprised, Laura that you did
not go out into the sun andand and like magically infuse your crystals or
something. Yeah. I'm surprised youalso didn't stare directly at into it.
Considering producer Brian, I was verybusy at work. Where do you work
(40:45):
doing what job? iHeartRadio? Ohyou worked there? Yes, I was
doing the traffic. You just hada gig? No? No, no,
you mean my my part time actingyes, no, no, no,
no no, that was just toreading that I did. She hasn't
gotten any gigs yet, Okay,I know, but I'm sure hoping that
I get this milk one. Youlook a lot like a milk I know.
(41:08):
I mean, you, guys,your hair looks kind of cute.
Oh wait, I wouldn't say that, never weird. God, thank you,
producer Bride. God, you've gotsuch a good eye hair. I'm
gonna come over just so people onInstagram can see what I look like like.
Producer Brian is dying for some attention. I am dying for some attention.
(41:30):
I know. Wait, God,that's so sweet of you to wear.
I'm going to sit on this dogElvis. I'm not gonna fart anyway.
I mean, hi, guys,don't fart on my dog. Okay,
(41:51):
So we should probably end this becauseit's been too long, unless you
guys have something else you want totalk about. I mean, I'm trying
to be a producer. I'm tryingto be a better producer to you guys,
because you know I'm almost here twoyears now. I know. Oh
my gosh, you guys, JanaReeves is coming. Apparently I was based
on things I maybe know, butcan't really. Almost May. Right next
(42:14):
month, we're having a big anniversaryparty for Brian. There's going to be
some very interesting things happening, likewe're hoping to have it at Sequan.
We love Sequon, we love Sequon. I know you're working on that.
How's that coming? I am It'scoming along great? Is there? Yes?
(42:35):
Yes, Brian is going to beso excited. I bet I thought
there was another occasion for the partyas well. I don't think, seeing
as it was be on the twentyfourth of me. Oh yeah, it's
my birthday. Oh no, we'redoing that different day. Yes, it's
going to be my birthday in Brian'sanniversary and I want everybody to be there.
(42:59):
It's going to be super fun.And you know, Brian's second anniversary,
my sixtieth birthday. I thought therewas. I mean, I'm trying
to be cool here. I'm tryingto be cool, dude, I'm not
(43:22):
even getting drive Vagina. What elsedid you say, Harry Vagina and Zipper
awfully crashed and weren't listening. Ididn't say that I had a drive Vagina,
But how did you know? II s not say that I had
(43:49):
to drive China. But it doessound like whatever I have to do anything.
Rather, it does sound like I'mjust crunching up a handful of leaves.
I would know. I swing everywhereI go. I know we all
(44:09):
know that you don't have uh we'reunderwear, and that you have baby big
junk, Laura. I just Ijust want to get a gander at that
dress full force. Can you standup please? Well, it's new,
it came I would love to seeit. It came from a grals.
(44:30):
Uh, okay, let's see.Look at your body. Your boob's kind
of looking at Look at your body. Wow, I've been working out and
(44:50):
yeah, it's you can and seethat just the hairy butthole of your Cleavid,
your pads are coming out, bythe way. Oh god, you're
a disaster, a complete disaster.Time to go see doctor Wheedler again,
I know. Oh my god,you guys, I think it was a
(45:10):
different doctor that did doctor Swiston.There you go, Thank you doctor Swiston
for these babies. Yeah, allright, guys, I think it's time
to wrap up the show because we'relike going on almost an hour now.
Oh my god, we had somuch to talk about, you guys.
We have to talk about what else? I don't know. Wow, you
(45:35):
seem really unprepared. Yeah, really, you know it? Eric? Are
you going to go back to Rosswith me to return this? Oh?
I don't know. I you know, lasked my waiting there. They gave
me dirty looks because I may havebroken several toilets in the process of you
trying on that dress? Do youthink that that dress being worn by you,
(46:00):
Laura sweating in it and everything,is the one of the worst things
ever returned to Ross? What doyou think is one of the worst things
ever returned to Ross? I thinkit'd be worse if I wore it with
my sweaty butt crack syndrome, witheverything. Oh my god, Eric,
you would probably you would probably lookso good in this. Probably. I
mean we are pretty much the samesize. I bet we would look pretty
(46:20):
similar if I was wearing if Ericme erk Rimer was wearing it, you
would, you would probably. We'reboth like a size for at least.
Yeah, totally. I really wouldlike to know. Ryan would never say
that? What what what would youlike to say? I want to see
the underwear you're wearing store behind itconsidering that or is it just too obscene.
(46:52):
Well it can you, Sharon stonisa little bit maybe because you said,
Laura, did you take your underwearoff before we No, no,
no, I want to say thatI have that were the case, I
mean, producer Brian, that's kindof personal because you know, I have
on my special Monday underwear, whichare for when I go out on my
(47:16):
tender dates after the show. Right, no action because that can't physically happen,
you know, with it being kindof without my monostat seven right now,
it is rather dry. By theway, I don't remember what it's
called. You probably have that too. I'm glad that you know. But
(47:42):
my underwear, I have underwear thatsays different things on it. My my
Monday underwear says choking hazard on it. Oh god, it would be a
real treat, a real treat.Or is it too obscene? Honestly?
Well, we want to see hiscamel toe? Yeah, I don't really
want you to see my camera.I don't want to see choking hazard with
(48:04):
the How about this? I didn'tlord give those wait didn't wait, I
don't know. Now. I gavethem. I gave them to Eric,
oh yes, for Christmas, andthen I gave them back to you clearly.
Yeah, and you gave them backto me when you found out that
I had to drive Vagina. Ohmy god, I hate both of you,
right, it's so bad, sobad. I do after after the
(48:25):
show, on Thursday's show, I'llgive them back to you, Eric,
and you can hold them up andshow everybody what I was wearing. Once
I grow some facial hair again,maybe there might be some like old leaves
in there. I'm going to cutyou know what, Hey, what am
I doing? I've controlled this show. I can just cut this off right
now. Why haven't I cut itoff? I know? Oh we have
(48:47):
to lock out? Yeah? Yeah, so are we locking out? Yeah?
I think that's time. Thank God, because I need to so wrap
it up. Oh my god.Thank you everybody for watching. We love
you. Thank you to our sponsors, Jay Wurtzler and the Way of Cosmetics.
Thank you all. We love you, we love you, we love
(49:10):
you, love your podcast, andlove you my sweet babies. Eric.
I love you, thank you.I love this show. Thank you.
I love Cinema. I love you. Producer Ryan Okay, m hmm,
(49:31):
little mediocre on you right now.Starting to get a little annoyed myself.
I love you, Eric, Itoo have a choking handswer I just took
my underwear so not able to wearthat. I'm going to go up and
chase Oh man, Yeah, Eric, time is taken. Log out.
We have another show to do,do we? Yes? There's one more.
(49:53):
Ryan needs to dry like five minutes? Yes, probably thirty? Yeah?
Yeah? Can you just lock out? I need to change for the
next show? Can we go toRoss after this? Sure? Wait?
Hold on? What do I dowhen when we pushed? When you got?
When you finally say it? Ithink maybe you should fade back to
(50:14):
the start screen. Oh really,Eric? And then have you been watching
TikTok or YouTube? Look? Thedirty secret is that producer Brian has been
coming to me for technical advice fora long time. That's how I'm able
to show pictures on my phone straightto the stream. Is technology like that?
That's great? Brian needs help withthat something. Can you log out?
(50:35):
Please? Yeah? I just thoughtmaybe you want to see some more
pictures I have. Oh my god, my eyes aren't so good, so,
oh my god. We gotta giveproducer Brian a second to figure what
he's doing over there. Here's anotherpicture from the person logging your podcast.
Oh have another picture. Oh no, no, you said it. Good
(51:04):
night you, sir Brian just pusheda good night, good night your podcast.
Thank you, Brian. Wait willnot be able to reconnect
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