May 1, 2024 • 55 mins
If you found a briefcase with a million dollars inside with a note smeared with blood with the word "DON'T" scribbled on it, would you take it or leave it? Just one of the captivating questions Laura throws down during The Question Game segment. Another one? Do you wash new clothes before you wear them? This episode also includes a tarot reading, Producer Bryan's Wild Card, and a major bomb is dropped on Erik by Laura. This one burns! You gotta watch it through to the end because we all sing a song together for no good reason. It just happens and it'll make you laugh and smile and sing along, too. It's feel-good fun all around. Love you for watching and for listening to our podcast twice a week. You're part of the family! Love your podcast!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
She's so bossy. Hello, Welcometo Laura Kane After Dark. First podcast
in May and officially my birthday month. And you know what you know some
year I'm Laura Kane, Eric Rimmer, Hi producer Brian Elvis Kan. So
I've decided this year I'm going allout. I don't know why. It's
(00:32):
not a big it's not like ait's a big one, but it's not
six zero. No, it's not. I'm not sixty. G's Louise give
me my fifties for a little whilelonger at least. I'm no. I'm
just like, I'm just gonna liketreat myself. I'm gonna, like I
said, I'm gonna get that tattooand I'll show you what it is your
(00:53):
financial Oh that was last year.No, this would be good. I've
already got something spinning the works.And we have our big producer, Brian.
To your party, Laura Caane BirthdayParty, which is Laora's hijacking for
her sixtieth birthday featuring George Michael.It's gonna be on May twenty fourth,
(01:15):
my actual birthday. It's a Fridaynight. We're all meeting at v AHAs
and we're gonna see George Michael Reborngreat band tribute band to George Michael.
If you grew up in or hadsome part of the eighties, you will
love this band. He looks likehim, he sounds like him. He's
a great guy. Hopefully we canget on before because he has a great
(01:37):
story about a connection he has withthe real George Michael. It's really cool.
I'm going to for your birthday towhat you know what I'm gonna do
for you? What I'm going tobuy you a new outfit for your birthday
party? Really? Yeah? Areyou gonna pick it out? You're the
stylist pick it out for me?You're not gonna like it? No?
(02:00):
Yes, I I'm well will I? Yeah? Because the Dollar Tree is
selling clothes now. No, they'renot shirt, just a star for a
log T shirt and some big crushysocks. So next week we'll have more
details on how you can win thesetickets and uh what we're going to have
(02:21):
to give away at the party wealways have prizes and stuff, and how
you can be a part of it. We'll have more details next week,
but I just wanted you to holdthat date. May twenty fourth, Friday
Night, we yes hold it.Okay. So, since it's the beginning
of May, I brought out mytarot cards, the ones that you hate,
trustworthy ones, and we're each goingto pick. This is going to
(02:44):
signify that since we're now done withmercury and retrograde is over. You're not
I don't think you're qualified to readtarot. I'm just qualified to hear.
This is what I'm qualified to do. I'm qualified to put my good energy
all on the deck. Well,have you cleansed that deck with my good
energy? I am That's not howdeck cleansing works. And need like a
(03:06):
full moon or something. It doesn'tmatter. Let's just play the game.
Now. You're saying that you getto change the rules of the stuff we've
made up. You don't even likethe art on this one. But this
is gonna signify this month and howhow it's gonna be for us. So
I'm laying out all the cards andwe're gonna do that thing again that you
guys always give me crop about.You're gonna come over here and you're gonna
(03:30):
close your eyes and you're gonna goover the deck and whatever. If you
feel something, pick the card.Okay, go Eric, all right,
all right, lean ford, nowreally close your eyes and if you feel
something goes slowly, go slowly,go slowly. Oh he felt it,
he felt something, you know,Flip it over this way. Okay,
(03:54):
Oh it's right side up. Queenof Swords, I think this is a
good one. Okay, So let'ssee what Queen of Swords is. Queen
of Swords, nine of Swords,Queen of Swords, Queen the Sword,
Princess's Swords, Queen Yes, brainsof her beauty. The Queen of Swords
(04:15):
values intellect above all else. Shehas no problem telling it like it is
with class and sass. She's direct, witty, honest, and even blunt.
Logic rules the land with the factsbeing the fairest of them all.
She's able to use her discernment andcan see past hidden motives easily. Look
(04:35):
at that. She asks that youcut through the noise and gather information that
will point you in a clear cutsolution. Detach yourself from your emotions so
you can use your critical eye withimpartiality and clarity. The Queen of Swords
likes to get straight to the pointand uses facts to get there, preferring
to connect on an intellectual level levelsensitive souls may receive her bluntness as cold
(05:00):
and dub her the ice queen.Oops. Oops, it's not that she
doesn't care. She just wants tobe fair. That's right. Sorry a
second, when when Reverend doctor nallyVeil did it, she had some things
to look out for for our future. That's just like a personality thing.
Well, this one, if youif it was upside down has a different
meaning. But it was the rightside up. So go ahead, Brian,
(05:24):
come on out, pick your card. B Then I have some things
to talk about that are important.I don't like, I don't I don't
know if you know about these things. All right now, really close your
eyes closure eyes good, Okay,good. He's such a brad. He
has to have one eye open,one eye open. Okay. We wants
(05:45):
to make sure you're not moving thecards around. He's being a proud about
it. He's being a proud aboutit. I hope he gets a real
bad one. He's being led inin a really powerful direction. All right
now, flip it like that.I think it was this way because I
told you to do it that,but you went like that. So tennis
(06:06):
swords right side up is this allright, here's your future for the month.
Stab in the back without any warning, leaving you feeling betrayed by those
you trust. Do you fight backor let it go? This unexpected setback
feels like failure on all levels,and you're looking for someone to take the
(06:27):
blame, even if it means yourselfsacrificing your needs can inadvertently allow people to
take advantage of you. This isa low blow to your self esteem and
it will take time to get backup again. Be careful of playing the
victim and throwing a pity party toget attention. Losses often feel like failures,
but try to look at this asa painful transition to beginning anew Wow.
(06:50):
Bad news is usually hard to swallow, but you cannot grow without change
Jesus, even if it's terrible.Well this sounds great. Times are difficult,
but you can only go up fromme. Here's the reverse of the
cards, say to the other way. Dramatic events have led you strongly to
reevaluate all areas of your life.You're letting go of what does not serve
(07:14):
you anymore. Don't say the podcast, please, I'm gonna make one of
these things come true right now.I know, purging all the excess baggage
that you can begin a new cyclewise from your life experiences. Old beliefs
no longer resonate with you, andyou are shifting your perspective. Avoiding change
to avoid pain just prolongs. Theinevitable personal transformation requires that you let go
(07:39):
of something old so that you canmake room for something new. Don't us
content? I am a slave tothe fate of the card. What can
I do? Constant thought chatter withoutworst case scenarios has you worrying about the
future, paralyzing you from living inthe present. Take inventory of thoughts,
beliefs, and attitudes and clearly labelthe ones you want to keep and the
(08:01):
ones you want to throw away.Allow your awareness to help you grow from
your experiences. Brian, you knowwhat I just noticed? You and I
are twins tonight. You're both wearingdolphins club. Yes, this is mine?
Oh boy, oh? The hermitnaked lady in front of them,
(08:24):
the hermits. I don't think thatone's terrible. Well, let's see,
I don't even know where she wouldbe, the hermit, the hermit,
the hermit, the hermit. She'dprobably be somewhere far away, Oh the
fool. Here's the fool, here'sthe magician, here's the high priestess.
Oh, here we go, Isee where she is the hermit. Soul
searching is the name of the game, and you've decided to take the time
(08:46):
to explore that aspect of yourself.Wide eyed truth seeker, you improve the
deepest depths of your being so youcan know yourself in ways you didn't know
before. There was a certain restlessnesswith how you were living your day to
day truly knowing that there is adeeper meaning to life. Okay, Soul
searching tends to be a solo journey, so you maybe finding yourself withdrawing from
(09:09):
social activities. I don't even haveany social activities normally and retreating inside yourself.
You are seeking your deep inner truthand defining your core values. And
if that means a night in witha glass of wine, great they want
me to great, they want meto relapse, then so be it.
(09:31):
You are seeking alignment with your mind, body, and soul and are finding
new ways of consciously prioritizing your beliefsin your daily life. It would be
a glass of coke. There yougo, like this coke right here?
All right now? Do you guyswant to Brian, you have a wild
card? When do you want todo your wild card? I do it
(09:52):
now? You want to do itafter we do some questions or oh?
First of all, I want totell you this real quick. Did you
know about the airlines new rules?No? Did you hear about this?
Get this? Department of Transportation SecretaryPete Buddha Judge had a news conference,
and he had it last week.He announced that within six months, airlines
(10:13):
will be required to comply with newrules, which will require cash refunds for
cancelations and long delays as an expansionof passenger rights. You're not going to
get three hundred dollars for a onehour delay. Here's how it's going to
work. Passengers will be entitled toa refund if their flight is canceled or
(10:33):
significantly changed and they do not acceptalternative Transportation of travel credits. This includes
airline changing your itinerary before the dayof your trip. The delays covered would
be more than three hours for domesticflights and more than six hours for international
flights. This includes tickets purchased directlyfrom airlines, travel agents, and third
party sites like Expedia and travelocity.So they're getting better about that whole thing,
(10:58):
because before they just canceled it andyou were shut out of luck.
Right, well, they had tothere were other rules, but there's some
other Restsally doesn't just make airlines justraise their prices to cover the the anticipation.
That's how the economy works. Bombthem. When the government mingles or
not mingles, interferes, Yeah,interjects itself. Okay, now do you
(11:22):
want to do your wild card ordo you want okay, let's do it.
Okay. This last weekend, mysister got married. Actually she's been
married for a year, but thiswas her like ceremony wedding. And I
was originally just supposed to be theguy that walks the mom down, you
know, the mother down the aisle. Yes, I still did that,
but due to unforeseen events, mygirlfriend, who was supposed to be the
(11:46):
bridesmaid, wasn't able to go.And on the bride side and on the
grooms side, two of his bestman and one of his grooms men were
also not able to go. Ohno, so yeah, so I became
the second grooms men. So there'sthere was the best man and then just
me really on his side yeah,and that was that happened the day before
I left, so its very lastminute. In a stroke of fate,
(12:11):
my suit ended up matching the oneI just randomly bought. Matched perfectly with
what everyone else is wearing, Like, oh wow, that's the exact same
suit. It was a lot offun. Was so it was a little
chaotic. Things kind of fell apartand got put back together last minute.
It was really fun. I mean, they've been married for you already,
so it's just how many people werelike sixtysh. She was a pretty small
(12:31):
wedding. It was really nice.Venue was on. It was on in
South Carolina on a on a river, a venue on a river, so
it was really cool, great wedding. It was a dry wedding. It's
kind of a bummer. Why isthat so? In South Carolina for venues
to provide they have to provide thealcohol themselves. They have really strict alcoholaws.
(12:52):
And you also have to pay fora cop to be rented to be
you have to rent a cop tobe on premises or the entire day of
the event. Shut up, really, wow, there's alcohol. Yeah,
it's pretty crazy. Wow. Iwonder if people brought in flasks no.
I thought about it though. Ithought, I know, right, would
have been fine. So if yougot caught. But it was a lot
(13:13):
of fun. So it was agood weekend. God, that was You
must be exhausted. I'm very tired. I got home at like eleven pm
last night. Oh my, ohwow, woke up and went to work.
Wow. And now you're here.Okay, we'll try to bust this
out quickly. Well, congratulations toyour sister. You want to give her
a shout out? Yes, thecouple, the couple. Okay, you
don't, all right, never mind, but congratulations to Brian's sister. That's
(13:39):
really cool, very fine, Andit was really nice that you were there.
It was very nice wedding. I'msure they appreciated it, and it
was really I bet it was aspecial moment you walking mama down. Yeah,
it was nice. Now my son'sgetting married in July. And uh,
like, okay, the groom washe up there already or did someone
(14:03):
walk him down the aisle? Youknow what I mean? Like, did
someone walk him to his spot?No? They just they just enter,
They just they when the ceremony starts, does he walk down the aisle to
his spot? At least in mysister's wedding. They walk down with the
officiant. Oh, at the verybeginning, they just walk They just walk
up there. I want to walkdown, which is so bad. Well,
(14:26):
I mean talk to him about it. I mean it has to be
up to him, you know.Yeah, I mean he can They can
do however they want, so theycan do. But did I tell you
that my daughter is going to singtheir first dance song. Oh my god,
it's going to be a room fullof a puddle of tears. It's
going to be so so cool.All right, now I have a very
(14:48):
I'm no, you're not not actuallymy best friends. Ouch, that hurts.
Oh she didn't tell you, Eric. I'm also going, Wow,
Stacy's going, how easily I justgot demoted? You didn't know you were
number two too? You are nolonger one point five. She invited me
(15:16):
to go, and now she's onon live air. You couldn't go.
You already said you're gonna be likein freaking somewhere else. No, how
many times have you complained to meabout taking time off about this and that?
I just I knew, I knewyou weren't going to be able to
go, So I asked somebody whosaid she could go my wonderful stacy.
(15:43):
I'm gonna crash. I'm gonna crashit. You should object. I am
objected. I'm gonna crash it.Oh, oh for it, I am.
I'm gonna crash it and object andI'm just gonna show up hammered and
like vomit. Oh yeah, that'swhat I'm good. I'm going to show
up cammered and I'm going to objectand then I'm going to throw up on
(16:03):
your shoes. Shut up. Ohmy god, what am I going to
wear? I don't know. I'mnot helping you. Oh that's right now.
You were gonna wait birthday out.I'm not doing that either. Okay.
Now, America is divided. Americais very dividedly lately. Now this
is very important. This is Iwant to know from you guys. It's
(16:26):
fifty to fifty down the middle thata pole was taken. Do you wash
your clothes before wearing them? Afteryou've bought them new clothes? You buy
a new clothes off the rat,you bring them home, Do you wash
them before you wear them? No? Go No? Sometimes, depending on
(16:49):
what it is we buy it,depending on where you buy it, also
depending on where the size I buyit. Oh, it's for a shrink
purposes. Yeah, because there's alot of clothes that shrink a lot.
Actually, I feel like, likehoodies, if you you have to buy
them a side. I wasn't buyingthem. I was like, dude,
I just that fat, like Jesus. But no, they shrink so much.
They do well. It's split downthe middle. Fifty one percent said
no, they don't. Forty ninepercent said, oh, yes we do.
(17:11):
Because you don't know how many peoplehave handled it. It's fair.
I guess do you wash your underwearat least before you Oh? Uh no,
those are sterilized in the little packages. Yeah, because the women's underwear
sometimes there are not Okay, yeah, I was yeah, then I would
Yeah they were hanging on a yeah, I mind comeing to sealed packs.
So yeah, that's true. Butyou know how they say, oh,
(17:32):
the chemicals and whatever. Now ifI buy clothes, I'm like, I
don't buy clothes at Hallster, butif I did, or like maybe Abercrombie,
I probably wouldn't wah it because thoseclothes smell nice when you buy them.
Oh, Ambercrombie smells so good.Yeah, and that. Some people
say, no, I don't washthem because it's all downhill. After the
first wash, your clothes start gettingworse, depending on And then somebody said
(17:53):
it depends on the store. Yes, but only bathing suits and undergarments.
Well, the bathing suits that Ibuy have this little like in the crotch
area strip, but little like.But here's the here's something. Some women
don't wear underwear, and so they'retrying on these bathing suits. Some men
(18:14):
don't wear underwear. Well, I'mnot trying on men's clothes. But there
was a there was a an episodeof the show House, remember House,
where somebody got some vicious virus froma piece of clothing that was brand new
and they hadn't washed it. Sosomeone said, oh, after I saw
that episode of House, I washedeverything before I put it on. So
(18:38):
and then anyway, now do youwant to see an eight pair of jeans
sold out immediately online. These jeansare pre stained with a pea stain.
Come on, and this is whatit looks like. Come are you kidding
(18:59):
me? Oh that's kind of funny. Eight dollars pants and these sold out
online like that. There were therewas a six hundred dollars pair with a
lighter wash with the so the stainwas a little lighter. Those sold out
immediately. Who's the designer? Let'ssee who is the designer? I don't
(19:23):
think it really said so ridiculous,It's just a brand in the UK and
uh a Jordan Luca, Jordan Luca. Anyway, there you go, hideous.
You can do that on your own. You really can do it on
your own. Okay, a manin Pennsylvania, can you imagine this?
(19:48):
Oh God, if this happened toEric, God only knows, he would
go to the top of he wouldcall the President of the United States.
I would for sure. This poorguy got a tax fund from the state
for nine hundred dollars. He didhis taxes, he makes one hundred dollars
one thousand dollars or less. Hegot a federal income tax bill for thirty
(20:12):
four billion dollars. They obviously madea huge mistake. Oh my god,
it's a bill in the marriage.Just shoot myself instead. Billions go jump
off in your bridge. Eric,your fac immediately turned like be Ready'd be
like no, You'd go call likeevery manager known to mail. I would,
I would call every manager ever.So he called his tax guy,
(20:34):
who's a blunder something with numbers.Blah blah blah blah. All right,
Now here's some things that people talkabout are people do but don't talk about.
When your flight doesn't board for anhour and you need to eat,
do you go to the gate firstjust to make sure that it's there and
then go eat? Yeah? Absolutely, Okay, that's there's saying people do
(20:57):
that, but they don't ever talkabout that. Yeah. I mean I
was just flying this weekend. Idid that, like with every time.
Yeah, because you kind of wantto know where you're at first, and
then you get your food and thenyou go back and sit down. You're
breathing fine until you lay down andone nostril immediately closes up. That happened
to you, true, Yeah,when you swallow water in a weird way
and there's that excruciating pain in yourchesty. Oh God, when you need
(21:23):
a specific item at the grocery storebut there's somebody else standing in front of
it, so you pretend to shopfor something else until they move. You
do that, I just pushed themout of the way. That satisfying feeling
when one of your ears randomly popped, oh, yes, and you're here,
you're hearing immediately improves or this.I always feel this way when you
(21:47):
walk into a store and you wantto buy something, it's not there for
whatever reason, and you walk outof the store with nothing. I always
feel like I'm in trouble, LikeI'm going to get in trouble for shoplift.
Oh I do you feel guilty?I feel like immediately guilty. First,
think of that. Somebody's got tothink I stole something. Yes,
yeah, when you walk out withnothing, no bags, I do that
(22:10):
all the time. You don't feelguilt, like any kind of guilt about
it. Okay, so now we'regonna do the question game. We love
the question game, don't we?Yes? We do? We do?
All right, play us some littlesimple music for the question game. That's
too Scared and that was the ghostHunter. There we go. Now,
(22:32):
I tease this on our last episode, and I want to know honestly,
think about it very clearly. OnYou're honest for Real answer, You're walking
in a forest. You find ablack suitcase. Inside it holds one million
dollars and a piece of paper stainedin blood with a single word, don't
would you take the suitcase home?Or do you leave the suitcase there?
(22:56):
Okay, here's what I do.Since somebody says one word, just says
don't, we don't know what don'tmean. So I surmise that it means
don't leave your money laying around.So I go, good advice. So
I take that money. And thenyeah, what about the smeared in blood
part paper cut? Obviously? Okay, so you take it? Oh yeah,
no problem, Eric. Oh thisis the start of every horror movie,
(23:26):
or it could be the start ofa horror movie. Wait, real
quick, how much money is it? One million? One million? That's
a lot of money to hide fromthe irs. Well, so you're saying,
then now you're going back on regardless, I take it. This is
what I would do, all right, I would, of course, no
one's around that can't say, didyou lose a million dollars? Of course
(23:48):
I would go take it, takeit to the bank. I wouldn't keep
it in my home. I takeit to the bank and put it in
a safety depossle box. That isawful idea, because the bank has to
log down you deposit a million dollars, They go, oh, great,
you found a million bucks. Perfect. Why would they have to log it
what I what if I said ofa jewelry, Yeah, it's his own
(24:08):
personal Okay, then what do youdo with that? Well, the positive
box is not going to hold amillion dollars. I mean you out of
the briefcase. Can you get abig enough one? Can you get a
big one? Different sizes? Imean how many how much space does I
mean? Assuming the ten millions inhundred dollar bills, it's one million,
(24:29):
sorry, one million in one hundreddollar bills. Each stack of hundred dollar
bills is I think ten thousand.Still a lot of stacks of Yeah,
but I would rent, and thenthat way I don't have the ju ju
in my house. But then whatdo you do with it? Well,
if the bank catches on fire,then I know that the dogs leave it
there forever, no river or something, and the note, no, I
(24:55):
sell it, You sell the briefextra little profit. No, then I
made a million dollars, I willjump there twent five dollars, and then
I would use it. It wouldbe awfully hard to leave it there,
but I would because I would takethat out. I do. I take
the note. I sell it toa Halloween prop store. I made an
extra two dollars. On top ofthat, now I'm up to one million
(25:18):
and twenty seven dollars. I wouldthink that I was being filmed for some
kind of prank show. Oh,then I would get notoriety and a million
dollars. No, they wouldn't giveit to you. It was just a
prop. Oh, then I getnotoriety. I immediate immediately use my notoriety
to start some type of brand useless, and then I make a million real
(25:38):
dollars. Okay, there you go, There you go. Now this one
is pretty interesting. Uh, ifyour girlfriend this is more good thing,
you can relate to this more.But you can if you put your mind
to it. If your girlfriend andyour mother changed bodies. Oh, what
the I don't like where this isgoing. I know you're not gonna like
it because you have to answer it. The only way to get them back
(26:02):
to normal is to have sex withone of them. No, Jesus Christ,
who what the do you choose?You? You break up with your
girlfriend and you disown your mom.No, You're never going to disown your
mother, No way. And wecan only talk on the phone. That's
horrible. Your girlfriend and your momchange places, yes, change bodies,
(26:26):
and the only way to get themto change back is you have to have
sex with one of them. Whodo you choose either? I would have
sex with my girlfriend in your mother'sbody. Yeah, but it's just like
the spirit the shell. Your momwouldn't remember it, but you would.
Yeah, you'd remember the visual andthen I'd be in therapy for the rest
(26:47):
of my life. Could you Idon't even know you. Could you could
perform? I know? Wow?I know wow. Okay. You find
a book, you begin to readit, only to discover that it's your
life. You get to the pointwhere you're at right now. Do you
turn the page knowing that you willnot be able to change the events to
come? Hell? Yeah yeah No. Also, there's no way I can't
(27:11):
change the events. I say,I don't want to know. I want
to be surprised. Okay, let'ssay the book says you get ran over
by a car on main Street,and that day I just I don't go
on main Street. There's no wayfrom there's no way for me to die.
See, that's not what I waspicturing. I was picturing like,
(27:33):
like, what, no, Iwant. I don't want to know what
my future. I kind of likeif I had a crystal ball. I
wouldn't want to know where I'm goingto be intenuo. Wouldn't you want to
know, like, let's say somethingbad but that you could least at least
mentally prepare for and you could handleit better. I didn't know. I
think that would be I don't know. It would totally suck, would totally
I think I am. I knowingme, I'd probably be like, all
(27:56):
right, just one more page,Okay, just one more page, I'll
just read it. Oh my god. Would you rather have to say everything
that comes to your mind? Ornever say anything again? Never say anything?
You never saying? Really like,everyone has those weird thoughts. They're
just awful and totally yeah, thechance you have to spew those out,
(28:18):
Oh my gosh. No. Ifyou could go back to any age you
want for one month, what agewould you choose? Oh? I would
choose I don't know why, andI don't remember why this was such a
great age for me, But Ilove twenty seven. I can't relate.
I don't know. I know whatdo you want to be fourteen? Again?
(28:41):
I mean, like I know,maybe twelve, I don't know.
Twelve where you don't have any billsor or thirteen. You're kind of puban
it out though, starting to getpuberty. If you're seventeen seventeen, you're
still in high school? You stillwant to be in high school? Is
that when you're just graduated? I'msorry, excuse me? You graduated early
(29:02):
sixteen? I graduated. You graduatedwhen you were sixteen? Yeah, I'll
come Wait, that's not the normalschool you graduate when you're eighteen? Is
it eighteen? Yes? Seven,seventeen or eighteen? Yeah, seventeen or
eighteen? You have no clue.I was like, do we have a
savant here among us? Oh?Yes, fourteen? Did you finish college
(29:26):
in like a month? I did? I blew through everything. Okay,
now we're gonna say this is me. If I murdered somebody for a good
reason, but you couldn't go tothe police, how would you dispose of
the body or would you would youactually turn me in? What's the reason?
(29:47):
It's a good reason? Maybe thismaybe this person raped me or something.
Oh, let's well, I don'tknow. There's gotta be more to
it, but obviously it's for agood reason it do. Would I help
you? Yeah, you're gonna helpme dispose of the body, yes,
or how would we do it?How would we or you or you can
turn me in? Well, whatif I just want to turn a blind
eye? No, there's that's notone of the choices. I would help
(30:11):
you, okay. How would wedispose of the body? What would take
it in a fire pit? Andhow did you murder him? Let's just
say I stabbed him where? Thisis important stuff. Haven't you ever listened
to the true crime? I stoppedhim fourteen times and the heart where like,
like where did you? Like?What location did you stand him?
Doesn't matter? Yes, because itdepends on that. Okay, I stabbed
(30:33):
him in the chest and the stomach, like I mean like a what location
in the earls? Yeah? Okay, dide him over? Stab him?
Or yes? Oh god, wellthen it's my Okay, so the body's
at my house and the blood's atmy house. How do we get how
do you help me get rid ofit? Well, okay, you're gonna
(30:53):
help me clean. You'll help meclean. Was I already here? No?
Okay, sneak in the back,sneak in the back. I'd wear
his clothes. Oh well, becausewhat if there's a camera around that can
see him there's no okay, wellthere's no camera. You don't know that.
Okay, don't your fire pit outthere? We throw him in there,
(31:15):
Well, we'd have to throw himin bit by bit. So did
we chop him up? Yeah,we'd have to. Oh my god,
it's gonna get so gory. Youtake his car, you crash it into
a tree, and then you hehas all these stabs. Yes, okay,
this is gonna sound really dark.It's actually how you do it.
Okay, I dressed up as him, take his car out, crashed into
a tree. Well, first Ipick up a hitchhiker, and then I
(31:36):
crashed into a tree, knock outthe hitchhiker, light the car on fire,
because although he his cremated remains,they won't be able to know it
wasn't him. There's no DNA fromthat. And then I come back here
and I help you dispose of thebody. But like chopping up, throwing
the ocean or something, So wewould chop it up, or just just
like put like something heavy around hisankle with a rope and throw the drop
(31:59):
it. They'll find it because thenwe go fishing. We go fishing,
and we can throw it in thefeed to the fish and then wow,
you know that's fair. Wait,listen to the true crime. Here's the
thing. There was a real serialkiller who uh they was it or he?
Like they thought he? I thinkthis was he. They thought he
died, but turns out he justpicked up a hitchhiker, crashed his car,
and let the car on fire.So then they found his car and
(32:22):
they found a bunch of remains inthe car and they assume he's dead.
So they actually like he was actuallydeclared dead and everything, but you're still
alive. Wow. Yeah, thatreminds me of a movie I started watching
called Searching for Sugarman. Have youever heard of this? Oh yeah,
Oh my god, about this aboutthis singer named Rodriguez that should have been
as big as the Stones. Heshould have been as big as anybody else,
(32:44):
Uh, Jim Crochey, Bob Dylan. He had like great lyrics,
he had a great voice and everything, but for some reason he never made
it because there was nothing. Nobodycould find out any information about this dude.
And the rumor was that he sethimself on fire on stage and killed
himself that way in front of likeeverybody. But it turns out that wasn't
(33:07):
the case. I'm not gonna I'mnot going to ruin it. It's a
movie that's been out for a while, but searching for Sugarman and then I
fell asleep, so I don't knowif they they did. Well, I'm
not going to say anything, sayanything. I don't want to ruin it.
But that's it was a really good, really good documentary. I think
just lighting somebody on fire is probablythe best thing. How do you get
away with it? Though? Well? Yeah, where can we set like
(33:30):
a big bonfire at the beach orsomething? How do you know people won't
see? You think about this story? I know we can't do it my
fire pit, my fire pits,this pig. Yeah, your neighbor might
see, like, what's cooking?I've never smelled anything like that before.
(33:52):
Oh you know what we could do? Take it? Dump it into a
river full of piranhas. Oh okay, that out that's close by. Yeah,
you can get hid, you canmelt the body. Yeah, but
they did that on Breaking Bad andthey it eats through porcelain. So you
have to do it in a plastictub. Yeah, pala plan, yes,
(34:14):
yes, so we have to giveit a tub big enough for a
man barrel they make they make plasticbarrels for transporting chemicals. That would be
easy. Oh okay, yeah,just done, done. We'll just disintegrate
him. Yeah, per okay.And then what do we do with the
barrel? You drain it into thesewage? Oh, very very late at
(34:35):
night, very late at night,a neighborhood not close to here. Okay,
all right. Would you rather havefour legs or four arms? Four
arms die die? Yeah, enjoyfour arms? Me too, me too.
If you could ask your future selffrom the year twenty twenty five,
one question, what would it be? It's not that far away, right,
(34:58):
No, tell me quick, tellme something I should do right now
or that I should know. Mmhmm. I'd say it'd probably be something
about work, like what or likewhat should I What move do I make?
(35:19):
What's the proper move that I maketo get like a full time gig
somewhere? I don't know. Iprobably shouldn't talk about this on Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for the depressing uslak great. Thanks. Anybody have a
razor blade? Shut up? Okay? Anyway, and then here's here's really
(35:44):
we're going to end on this.Here are some things that make one is
that allergy related the coughing. Yes, are you how are you with the
allergies? Are you drugged up tonight? No? I'm not okay, you
were drugged up last week. Yeah, Eric was very drugged up for his
(36:05):
poor allergies. Are they getting better? Is the Pallen countdown or something?
What are you allergic to? Justthe air? Just all the pollen?
Yeah, oh my gosh, becauseit is spring and I just found out
I had allergy testing done. Whatwhat else are you allergic to? You?
That was a good one. Youwalked it right into that, Laura.
I know, well I did kindof drop a bomb on him about
(36:29):
the best friend thing, about invitingStacy fact that, yeah, you're not
your best friend. I forgot aboutthat. That's okay, because you're not
his best friend either. I've neverthrown that at his face ever ever?
Have you did tonight? I'm sorry? Now, it's just that wedding dark
vomiting, vomit, don't see vomit. I hate that word on you.
(36:54):
Vomit on your feet? What's wrongwith bombs? I don't throw up?
Righte is okay? Wait? Whatlike? What part of it is that
the min or? The law thatis bad for you. Vombit. Yeah,
the whole thing is just a horribleword. I'm just gonna do it.
It's going to things that make youdisproportionately angry. This happens to me
(37:22):
frequently when I'm walking by because Ihave knobs on my dresser that kind of
stick out, and every once ina while I'll walk by and one of
my belt loops or my sweater getsstuck in the knob and it like snags
it. Oh my god, thatmakes me so angry. How about when
somebody comes to a four way stopand they say, okay you go,
(37:45):
or you say you go, nothey go, no you go, And
so you're sitting there going well,no go ahead, no go ahead,
and then they're like no, no, no go ahead. That drives me
insane. I hate it. Butit's definitely not that's annoying. It's annoying.
What about Oh this is annoy youknow. Do you wear those low
cut socks, the no show socks? Not no show, but yeah,
low cut? Do you wear theones that are sometimes if you wear maybe
(38:07):
higher shoes, like maybe boots ofsome sort with those socks, the sock
gets I would never wear low cutsocks. With boots. Well, your
socks should always be higher than yourshoe. Well, then you don't ever
get the thing where the sock goesright down to the middle of your foot.
That is the most choices. Imake poor decisions. Yes, oh
(38:34):
this happens to me. You wouldn'trelate to this. But every time I
decide, I'm like, I'm goingoutside, I'm gonna go to the store.
I'm gonna put a little lip glosson just so I look a little
bit more presentable. Never fails.Walk outside, gustawin right, my hair
sticks to my lip gloss. Itgets me so annoyed. Can't relate,
I know, or you can't relateto this one, But I know women
(38:54):
can. When you push on thebrake real hard, you're at a stop
sign or whatever, the light turnsred and your purse flies off the passenger
seat and all the contents spill onthe ground. I thought you would to
say something. You're like, womencan relate, And I was like,
and then you start talk about driving. I was like, women can relate
to me, like bad drivers orsomething. I was like, the first
(39:15):
thing, the first thing, everythingdumps over and it's sure, Oh my
god, is there anything that youcan think of that makes you like a
little angry, like a little Mypurse drops on the floor all the time
because I'm a bad driver, likemost women. How much time do we
have? Can you give me one? Yes? Wait, I thought we
were playing the question game. Ialready gave you the question. It was
(39:35):
a short, little little question.One of the things that makes me so
angry, yes, is when becauseI work in an environment where we work
on appointments. Oh yeah, ohboy, this thing makes me more irritated
than when somebody has an appointment andthey show up either an hour or two
(39:59):
hour early, or an hour ortwo hours late, or they don't show
up at all, and then theyjust come by another day and they're like
hi. So people that feel entitlement, Oh totally all right. You want
another question, because I do havethe whole questions. Here we go.
I got a question. What Okay, let's say you die, Okay,
would you rather find out that thereis no afterlife? There is just you
(40:21):
know, blip boom, there isno existence. You're you're you're gone forever,
or would you either find out thatyou're going to the bad place?
What about the good place? You'renot going the good place. Either you
either like lights out, bye byeand that's it, or hell or there
is existence. Let's not say it'slike pure torture, but let's just say
it's not. It's not nice.But what about the good place? You're
(40:45):
not going there? Why that's justnot a choice, because yeah, Lord
does this all the time. I'mdoing it. Would you rather simply cease
to exist? Yes? Or wouldyou go to We'll just say rather immoderately
irritating like place that's like you're gonnabe there, fraternity. It's not good,
but it's kind of like at leastits existence at least. Yeah no,
I'd rather just be zip zip zoppedout. What about you? I
(41:08):
don't know. I guess it reallydepends on how bad the hell is.
Look, we do have the bowlof questions I did bring, So let's
end with each one answering a bowla question from the bowl. Okay,
all right HEREIC go ahead. Ilove the question. I know it's actually
a bowl of questions. What's thebiggest lie that you used to get out
(41:30):
of work? I've never lied toget out of work? Same, Oh
okay, actually I have. Itwas definitely car troubles though. That's that's
what the lie was. Yeah,you know what, No, I do
remember one time, this was yearsand years ago, and I had a
boss that I hated. I'll evensay her name because I don't care,
(41:54):
No, don't. I don't thinkwe should allegedly allegedly whatever word name is.
Jane Doe. Yeah, she wasinsufferable. I hated her. We
had a team building day at Disneyland, and I said I was sick,
(42:15):
so I didn't have to go andspend and look at her for an entire
day. You didn't go to Disneylandbecause of her, Dude, that's insane.
Well, I said I was sickbecause I refused to go. Just
don't go with her, just likeit was a hole, it was a
whole. We had to be together, like lost. Sorry, I got
lost in the bathroom. So Iwas like, I'm sick. I can't
(42:35):
go. Okay, I'm stuck inline at the Indiana Jones Adventure, Like
I just don't know how to geta line. I'll have to go on
the ride. Brian, do youwant me to pick for you? Yeah?
Please do? Okay, here wego, all right? Some one
looks like a long one. Herewe go. I bet that's not the
first time you've said that. Probablyactually is we call Okay, what is
the one perfume or cologne that drivesyou crazy? Someone wears it a good
(43:05):
perfume. That's somebody wears that youlike. I wear well, I wear
Guilty by Gucci, sometimes by Versace. What I really want is some being
fume fume by tom Ford. Butit like three and O god, it's
so expensive, is exquisite, butso not with it. It's not I
have a hack for you. Theydon't make it for the one I know.
(43:30):
Well, No, it's a sitecalled micro Perfumes. I know that
I have to yet to find onethat makes the sense I want for this
time. But no, they takethe actual they give you. They give
you a little just a little bit, like a travel size, so at
least you can try it out andsee if you like it. Micro Perfumes
and so you can get like thelittle teeny tiny sample, you can get
(43:52):
a travel size or you can getthe full bottle. It's really good.
All right, here's your question?Then, what songs should they play at
your wedding? All Star by smashMouth. I'm kidding, like please,
beginning. Please please is hey?Now wedding first dance, first dance is
(44:20):
important, is important, So Ihave to be have a slow song.
I like when the world caves inby like the one Michael Blue by Michael
Buble sings. Okay, a crowdpleaser, lord hereon her On's good some
of this stuff, but they're allkind of depressing, but they do have
a nice cadence for slow dancing.For for sure. For your wedding,
(44:44):
I would do something like for meor for him for him? Oh okay,
I do something really nice like theone by you know this remember the
song all my life I pray forsomeone like you think it does not have
(45:14):
I just looked it up. Microperfumes does not have ebon a fume.
Oh it doesn't has It has alot of other tom Ford stuff. It's
the duet between Julia Michaels, andit talks about two lovers and if the
world was ending, they would alwayswhat's sorry, okay Julia Michaels and something
(45:39):
of the world ends. Yeah,And it's a beautiful. So that's what's
the one where it's like love,love will keep us some sweet tugd lover
lovers in a stream. What's thatone in the stream? That is what
(46:00):
we are? How can we gowrong? Stay away with me to another?
We really another? I wish toall of the clips of the heart
(46:21):
was more uppy because I love thatone too, because the same kind of
repetitive. Or you could do adance version of that. You want to
do a dance at your wedding,I'll do it. I'll do an interpretive
dance. Oh my god, andwe'll just speed up the record, like
oh yeah, you'll just be spastic. If you can only eat one type
of food for the rest of yourlife, what would it be easy?
(46:44):
Rice? Damn it? Rice?I love rice. Rice, tacos.
That's gonna be like good. Ireally wanted a piece of pizza today,
Man, I had pizza. Youdid? What kind? What where did
you go? Do you want toplug that left over? I'm assuming it's
from a little Caesars then, Oh, actually, my sister's wedding though they
hired a pizza truck that came out. They had a big pizza oven built
(47:06):
into it. That ever happen.That is like a new thing. A
taco truck. The pizza well,people, people, instead of having it
catered yeah, they're they're hiring thefood trucks. That's like a like a
chef comes out with it and thepizza there's a pizza like a wood fired
oven built into the truck and theyI mean, they have have to be
a good chef too, but likeliterally the best pizza I've ever had,
(47:29):
and I've had like a lot ofgood pizza, you know. And it's
so weird because you know, beforeyou'd go to weddings and it would be
the food by the venue or whatever, and you're like, oh god,
this food is not great. Imean, wedding food isn't usually it's not.
But I saw this. I forgetwho it was. They got married
(47:52):
and they had all these different foodtrucks at the venue, and I was
like, that is a great idea. Oh my god, Maybe I should
slip that to Charlie. If hehasn't he figured out the food? How
would it be for how much wouldit be to hire a food truck right
for a couple, more way cheaperthan get a plate for each person?
And like you said, not goodfood, and you have like three different
(48:14):
ones. You have like Italian,Mexican and like you know, Mediterranean or
something all right, you guys wantto go out and singing the song?
Here we go? Where this is? This is how we're going out?
Waiting? Should should we do that? Should? Okay? Yeah, let's
pull up the lyrics or pull upthe karaoke version. I'm going to do
it right now, so keep talking. Ask us another question. Okay,
(48:36):
let me pull one out of thebowl here. Wait, someone connect to
the roadcaster? Then all right,let me let me do that. I
hope this doesn't get us copyright.That'll be fine. Oh well, well,
if we're not we're singing to it. Yeah, probably will, but
that's okay. Just start the tenderLove is blind? It requires okay,
are you ready? Okay? Okay, are you attached to the roadcaster?
(49:00):
No, he's definitely no, he'smost definitely not. Okay, because okay,
you can connect. Okay, thenI won't connect. So connect,
mister, Yes, connect to theroadcaster. Go to setting. Do you
know how to do it? I'mwaiting, okay, just keep talking anyway.
(49:23):
Evan comes on Saturday for just afew days. She needs to get
her wizom teeth out, so shehas to fly all the way from New
York City to here for a consultationbecause she's getting it done in the summer
because I guess they're really coming inhard and they're really messing things up.
So she has to fly all theway out here for only three days so
she can go. We have theconsultations on Monday, and then she flies
(49:47):
home Tuesday. Amber and my girlfriendAmber is also having to get her she
just had her consultation. Oh yeah, this is about the time when things
start getting try again. It's crazy, it is. Sometimes it's super expensive,
and sometimes insurance we'll cover like allof it. Well hopefully, well,
gosh, I hope. I knowfor ambush it's only a cost like
two and fifty bucks. That's great. I know. Okay, you should
(50:08):
be getting out here we go,are you guys ready? Let's wait for
the commercial band? Eric? Rememberwhat play I am play? Okay,
(50:30):
ski, there we go, mmhmm, okay, here we go.
We skip skipped through a little bit, so we don't do the whole thing
because that might lower our chances ofgetting copyright strong. I know, well,
Baby, when I meet you,there was please I set out to
(50:53):
get you with the fun you Calmaso insid there was something going on.
You do something to me that Ican't explain. Hold me closer and I
(51:14):
feel no pain every beat of myheart. We got something going on.
Mm hmm, Here we go.Tender love is blind. It requires a
da vacation. All this love wefeel needs no conversation. We ride it
(51:36):
together, making love with each other. Islands in the stream. That is
what we are, no one inbetween. How can we be wrong?
Stay away with me to another worldand we were live on each other,
(52:01):
from one love to another. Ohyeah, that was a good I love
it. Wow, Brian, weare singing at your wedding. Guys,
here we go. We've just you'vealready booked the talent. You've got the
food track from yeah from now youto do rap? Guy? If you
(52:22):
do rap, God, you cansing my wedding, well, I will
you know what challenge accepted? Dodo? Do right now? No?
I don't know. I don't know. That's what I thought. I'm so
sick and tired of be it admired. I just ride. That's not I
it's eminem. Anyway, let's endon that beautiful song. Oh my gosh,
that was really already brought us togetheras close as a family. I
hate to hate you guys a littlebit more now. But oh I love
(52:45):
you guys a little bit more becauseof this. I mean I almost slid
out of my underwear listening to keepme Twenty fourth Friday opened v a house.
We're going to you guys could havesuch a good time. Details to
come on and how to get tickets. Yes, my god, we have
ads. Oh my god, ourfabulous sponsors, am my god. Okay,
(53:07):
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(55:00):
him at jayw at Capitolgrowthinc. Dotcom.
She's so bossy. Hello, Welcometo Laura Kane After Dark. First podcast
in May and officially my birthday month. And you know what you know some
year I'm Laura Kane, Eric Rimmer, Hi producer Brian Elvis Kan. So
I've decided this year I'm going allout. I don't know why. It's
(00:32):
not a big it's not like ait's a big one, but it's not
six zero. No, it's not. I'm not sixty. G's Louise give
me my fifties for a little whilelonger at least. I'm no. I'm
just like, I'm just gonna liketreat myself. I'm gonna, like I
said, I'm gonna get that tattooand I'll show you what it is your
(00:53):
financial Oh that was last year.No, this would be good. I've
already got something spinning the works.And we have our big producer, Brian.
To your party, Laura Caane BirthdayParty, which is Laora's hijacking for
her sixtieth birthday featuring George Michael.It's gonna be on May twenty fourth,
(01:15):
my actual birthday. It's a Fridaynight. We're all meeting at v AHAs
and we're gonna see George Michael Reborngreat band tribute band to George Michael.
If you grew up in or hadsome part of the eighties, you will
love this band. He looks likehim, he sounds like him. He's
a great guy. Hopefully we canget on before because he has a great
(01:37):
story about a connection he has withthe real George Michael. It's really cool.
I'm going to for your birthday towhat you know what I'm gonna do
for you? What I'm going tobuy you a new outfit for your birthday
party? Really? Yeah? Areyou gonna pick it out? You're the
stylist pick it out for me?You're not gonna like it? No?
(02:00):
Yes, I I'm well will I? Yeah? Because the Dollar Tree is
selling clothes now. No, they'renot shirt, just a star for a
log T shirt and some big crushysocks. So next week we'll have more
details on how you can win thesetickets and uh what we're going to have
(02:21):
to give away at the party wealways have prizes and stuff, and how
you can be a part of it. We'll have more details next week,
but I just wanted you to holdthat date. May twenty fourth, Friday
Night, we yes hold it.Okay. So, since it's the beginning
of May, I brought out mytarot cards, the ones that you hate,
trustworthy ones, and we're each goingto pick. This is going to
(02:44):
signify that since we're now done withmercury and retrograde is over. You're not
I don't think you're qualified to readtarot. I'm just qualified to hear.
This is what I'm qualified to do. I'm qualified to put my good energy
all on the deck. Well,have you cleansed that deck with my good
energy? I am That's not howdeck cleansing works. And need like a
(03:06):
full moon or something. It doesn'tmatter. Let's just play the game.
Now. You're saying that you getto change the rules of the stuff we've
made up. You don't even likethe art on this one. But this
is gonna signify this month and howhow it's gonna be for us. So
I'm laying out all the cards andwe're gonna do that thing again that you
guys always give me crop about.You're gonna come over here and you're gonna
(03:30):
close your eyes and you're gonna goover the deck and whatever. If you
feel something, pick the card.Okay, go Eric, all right,
all right, lean ford, nowreally close your eyes and if you feel
something goes slowly, go slowly,go slowly. Oh he felt it,
he felt something, you know,Flip it over this way. Okay,
(03:54):
Oh it's right side up. Queenof Swords, I think this is a
good one. Okay, So let'ssee what Queen of Swords is. Queen
of Swords, nine of Swords,Queen of Swords, Queen the Sword,
Princess's Swords, Queen Yes, brainsof her beauty. The Queen of Swords
(04:15):
values intellect above all else. Shehas no problem telling it like it is
with class and sass. She's direct, witty, honest, and even blunt.
Logic rules the land with the factsbeing the fairest of them all.
She's able to use her discernment andcan see past hidden motives easily. Look
(04:35):
at that. She asks that youcut through the noise and gather information that
will point you in a clear cutsolution. Detach yourself from your emotions so
you can use your critical eye withimpartiality and clarity. The Queen of Swords
likes to get straight to the pointand uses facts to get there, preferring
to connect on an intellectual level levelsensitive souls may receive her bluntness as cold
(05:00):
and dub her the ice queen.Oops. Oops, it's not that she
doesn't care. She just wants tobe fair. That's right. Sorry a
second, when when Reverend doctor nallyVeil did it, she had some things
to look out for for our future. That's just like a personality thing.
Well, this one, if youif it was upside down has a different
meaning. But it was the rightside up. So go ahead, Brian,
(05:24):
come on out, pick your card. B Then I have some things
to talk about that are important.I don't like, I don't I don't
know if you know about these things. All right now, really close your
eyes closure eyes good, Okay,good. He's such a brad. He
has to have one eye open,one eye open. Okay. We wants
(05:45):
to make sure you're not moving thecards around. He's being a proud about
it. He's being a proud aboutit. I hope he gets a real
bad one. He's being led inin a really powerful direction. All right
now, flip it like that.I think it was this way because I
told you to do it that,but you went like that. So tennis
(06:06):
swords right side up is this allright, here's your future for the month.
Stab in the back without any warning, leaving you feeling betrayed by those
you trust. Do you fight backor let it go? This unexpected setback
feels like failure on all levels,and you're looking for someone to take the
(06:27):
blame, even if it means yourselfsacrificing your needs can inadvertently allow people to
take advantage of you. This isa low blow to your self esteem and
it will take time to get backup again. Be careful of playing the
victim and throwing a pity party toget attention. Losses often feel like failures,
but try to look at this asa painful transition to beginning anew Wow.
(06:50):
Bad news is usually hard to swallow, but you cannot grow without change
Jesus, even if it's terrible.Well this sounds great. Times are difficult,
but you can only go up fromme. Here's the reverse of the
cards, say to the other way. Dramatic events have led you strongly to
reevaluate all areas of your life.You're letting go of what does not serve
(07:14):
you anymore. Don't say the podcast, please, I'm gonna make one of
these things come true right now.I know, purging all the excess baggage
that you can begin a new cyclewise from your life experiences. Old beliefs
no longer resonate with you, andyou are shifting your perspective. Avoiding change
to avoid pain just prolongs. Theinevitable personal transformation requires that you let go
(07:39):
of something old so that you canmake room for something new. Don't us
content? I am a slave tothe fate of the card. What can
I do? Constant thought chatter withoutworst case scenarios has you worrying about the
future, paralyzing you from living inthe present. Take inventory of thoughts,
beliefs, and attitudes and clearly labelthe ones you want to keep and the
(08:01):
ones you want to throw away.Allow your awareness to help you grow from
your experiences. Brian, you knowwhat I just noticed? You and I
are twins tonight. You're both wearingdolphins club. Yes, this is mine?
Oh boy, oh? The hermitnaked lady in front of them,
(08:24):
the hermits. I don't think thatone's terrible. Well, let's see,
I don't even know where she wouldbe, the hermit, the hermit,
the hermit, the hermit. She'dprobably be somewhere far away, Oh the
fool. Here's the fool, here'sthe magician, here's the high priestess.
Oh, here we go, Isee where she is the hermit. Soul
searching is the name of the game, and you've decided to take the time
(08:46):
to explore that aspect of yourself.Wide eyed truth seeker, you improve the
deepest depths of your being so youcan know yourself in ways you didn't know
before. There was a certain restlessnesswith how you were living your day to
day truly knowing that there is adeeper meaning to life. Okay, Soul
searching tends to be a solo journey, so you maybe finding yourself withdrawing from
(09:09):
social activities. I don't even haveany social activities normally and retreating inside yourself.
You are seeking your deep inner truthand defining your core values. And
if that means a night in witha glass of wine, great they want
me to great, they want meto relapse, then so be it.
(09:31):
You are seeking alignment with your mind, body, and soul and are finding
new ways of consciously prioritizing your beliefsin your daily life. It would be
a glass of coke. There yougo, like this coke right here?
All right now? Do you guyswant to Brian, you have a wild
card? When do you want todo your wild card? I do it
(09:52):
now? You want to do itafter we do some questions or oh?
First of all, I want totell you this real quick. Did you
know about the airlines new rules?No? Did you hear about this?
Get this? Department of Transportation SecretaryPete Buddha Judge had a news conference,
and he had it last week.He announced that within six months, airlines
(10:13):
will be required to comply with newrules, which will require cash refunds for
cancelations and long delays as an expansionof passenger rights. You're not going to
get three hundred dollars for a onehour delay. Here's how it's going to
work. Passengers will be entitled toa refund if their flight is canceled or
(10:33):
significantly changed and they do not acceptalternative Transportation of travel credits. This includes
airline changing your itinerary before the dayof your trip. The delays covered would
be more than three hours for domesticflights and more than six hours for international
flights. This includes tickets purchased directlyfrom airlines, travel agents, and third
party sites like Expedia and travelocity.So they're getting better about that whole thing,
(10:58):
because before they just canceled it andyou were shut out of luck.
Right, well, they had tothere were other rules, but there's some
other Restsally doesn't just make airlines justraise their prices to cover the the anticipation.
That's how the economy works. Bombthem. When the government mingles or
not mingles, interferes, Yeah,interjects itself. Okay, now do you
(11:22):
want to do your wild card ordo you want okay, let's do it.
Okay. This last weekend, mysister got married. Actually she's been
married for a year, but thiswas her like ceremony wedding. And I
was originally just supposed to be theguy that walks the mom down, you
know, the mother down the aisle. Yes, I still did that,
but due to unforeseen events, mygirlfriend, who was supposed to be the
(11:46):
bridesmaid, wasn't able to go.And on the bride side and on the
grooms side, two of his bestman and one of his grooms men were
also not able to go. Ohno, so yeah, so I became
the second grooms men. So there'sthere was the best man and then just
me really on his side yeah,and that was that happened the day before
I left, so its very lastminute. In a stroke of fate,
(12:11):
my suit ended up matching the oneI just randomly bought. Matched perfectly with
what everyone else is wearing, Like, oh wow, that's the exact same
suit. It was a lot offun. Was so it was a little
chaotic. Things kind of fell apartand got put back together last minute.
It was really fun. I mean, they've been married for you already,
so it's just how many people werelike sixtysh. She was a pretty small
(12:31):
wedding. It was really nice.Venue was on. It was on in
South Carolina on a on a river, a venue on a river, so
it was really cool, great wedding. It was a dry wedding. It's
kind of a bummer. Why isthat so? In South Carolina for venues
to provide they have to provide thealcohol themselves. They have really strict alcoholaws.
(12:52):
And you also have to pay fora cop to be rented to be
you have to rent a cop tobe on premises or the entire day of
the event. Shut up, really, wow, there's alcohol. Yeah,
it's pretty crazy. Wow. Iwonder if people brought in flasks no.
I thought about it though. Ithought, I know, right, would
have been fine. So if yougot caught. But it was a lot
(13:13):
of fun. So it was agood weekend. God, that was You
must be exhausted. I'm very tired. I got home at like eleven pm
last night. Oh my, ohwow, woke up and went to work.
Wow. And now you're here.Okay, we'll try to bust this
out quickly. Well, congratulations toyour sister. You want to give her
a shout out? Yes, thecouple, the couple. Okay, you
don't, all right, never mind, but congratulations to Brian's sister. That's
(13:39):
really cool, very fine, Andit was really nice that you were there.
It was very nice wedding. I'msure they appreciated it, and it
was really I bet it was aspecial moment you walking mama down. Yeah,
it was nice. Now my son'sgetting married in July. And uh,
like, okay, the groom washe up there already or did someone
(14:03):
walk him down the aisle? Youknow what I mean? Like, did
someone walk him to his spot?No? They just they just enter,
They just they when the ceremony starts, does he walk down the aisle to
his spot? At least in mysister's wedding. They walk down with the
officiant. Oh, at the verybeginning, they just walk They just walk
up there. I want to walkdown, which is so bad. Well,
(14:26):
I mean talk to him about it. I mean it has to be
up to him, you know.Yeah, I mean he can They can
do however they want, so theycan do. But did I tell you
that my daughter is going to singtheir first dance song. Oh my god,
it's going to be a room fullof a puddle of tears. It's
going to be so so cool.All right, now I have a very
(14:48):
I'm no, you're not not actuallymy best friends. Ouch, that hurts.
Oh she didn't tell you, Eric. I'm also going, Wow,
Stacy's going, how easily I justgot demoted? You didn't know you were
number two too? You are nolonger one point five. She invited me
(15:16):
to go, and now she's onon live air. You couldn't go.
You already said you're gonna be likein freaking somewhere else. No, how
many times have you complained to meabout taking time off about this and that?
I just I knew, I knewyou weren't going to be able to
go, So I asked somebody whosaid she could go my wonderful stacy.
(15:43):
I'm gonna crash. I'm gonna crashit. You should object. I am
objected. I'm gonna crash it.Oh, oh for it, I am.
I'm gonna crash it and object andI'm just gonna show up hammered and
like vomit. Oh yeah, that'swhat I'm good. I'm going to show
up cammered and I'm going to objectand then I'm going to throw up on
(16:03):
your shoes. Shut up. Ohmy god, what am I going to
wear? I don't know. I'mnot helping you. Oh that's right now.
You were gonna wait birthday out.I'm not doing that either. Okay.
Now, America is divided. Americais very dividedly lately. Now this
is very important. This is Iwant to know from you guys. It's
(16:26):
fifty to fifty down the middle thata pole was taken. Do you wash
your clothes before wearing them? Afteryou've bought them new clothes? You buy
a new clothes off the rat,you bring them home, Do you wash
them before you wear them? No? Go No? Sometimes, depending on
(16:49):
what it is we buy it,depending on where you buy it, also
depending on where the size I buyit. Oh, it's for a shrink
purposes. Yeah, because there's alot of clothes that shrink a lot.
Actually, I feel like, likehoodies, if you you have to buy
them a side. I wasn't buyingthem. I was like, dude,
I just that fat, like Jesus. But no, they shrink so much.
They do well. It's split downthe middle. Fifty one percent said
no, they don't. Forty ninepercent said, oh, yes we do.
(17:11):
Because you don't know how many peoplehave handled it. It's fair.
I guess do you wash your underwearat least before you Oh? Uh no,
those are sterilized in the little packages. Yeah, because the women's underwear
sometimes there are not Okay, yeah, I was yeah, then I would
Yeah they were hanging on a yeah, I mind comeing to sealed packs.
So yeah, that's true. Butyou know how they say, oh,
(17:32):
the chemicals and whatever. Now ifI buy clothes, I'm like, I
don't buy clothes at Hallster, butif I did, or like maybe Abercrombie,
I probably wouldn't wah it because thoseclothes smell nice when you buy them.
Oh, Ambercrombie smells so good.Yeah, and that. Some people
say, no, I don't washthem because it's all downhill. After the
first wash, your clothes start gettingworse, depending on And then somebody said
(17:53):
it depends on the store. Yes, but only bathing suits and undergarments.
Well, the bathing suits that Ibuy have this little like in the crotch
area strip, but little like.But here's the here's something. Some women
don't wear underwear, and so they'retrying on these bathing suits. Some men
(18:14):
don't wear underwear. Well, I'mnot trying on men's clothes. But there
was a there was a an episodeof the show House, remember House,
where somebody got some vicious virus froma piece of clothing that was brand new
and they hadn't washed it. Sosomeone said, oh, after I saw
that episode of House, I washedeverything before I put it on. So
(18:38):
and then anyway, now do youwant to see an eight pair of jeans
sold out immediately online. These jeansare pre stained with a pea stain.
Come on, and this is whatit looks like. Come are you kidding
(18:59):
me? Oh that's kind of funny. Eight dollars pants and these sold out
online like that. There were therewas a six hundred dollars pair with a
lighter wash with the so the stainwas a little lighter. Those sold out
immediately. Who's the designer? Let'ssee who is the designer? I don't
(19:23):
think it really said so ridiculous,It's just a brand in the UK and
uh a Jordan Luca, Jordan Luca. Anyway, there you go, hideous.
You can do that on your own. You really can do it on
your own. Okay, a manin Pennsylvania, can you imagine this?
(19:48):
Oh God, if this happened toEric, God only knows, he would
go to the top of he wouldcall the President of the United States.
I would for sure. This poorguy got a tax fund from the state
for nine hundred dollars. He didhis taxes, he makes one hundred dollars
one thousand dollars or less. Hegot a federal income tax bill for thirty
(20:12):
four billion dollars. They obviously madea huge mistake. Oh my god,
it's a bill in the marriage.Just shoot myself instead. Billions go jump
off in your bridge. Eric,your fac immediately turned like be Ready'd be
like no, You'd go call likeevery manager known to mail. I would,
I would call every manager ever.So he called his tax guy,
(20:34):
who's a blunder something with numbers.Blah blah blah blah. All right,
Now here's some things that people talkabout are people do but don't talk about.
When your flight doesn't board for anhour and you need to eat,
do you go to the gate firstjust to make sure that it's there and
then go eat? Yeah? Absolutely, Okay, that's there's saying people do
(20:57):
that, but they don't ever talkabout that. Yeah. I mean I
was just flying this weekend. Idid that, like with every time.
Yeah, because you kind of wantto know where you're at first, and
then you get your food and thenyou go back and sit down. You're
breathing fine until you lay down andone nostril immediately closes up. That happened
to you, true, Yeah,when you swallow water in a weird way
and there's that excruciating pain in yourchesty. Oh God, when you need
(21:23):
a specific item at the grocery storebut there's somebody else standing in front of
it, so you pretend to shopfor something else until they move. You
do that, I just pushed themout of the way. That satisfying feeling
when one of your ears randomly popped, oh, yes, and you're here,
you're hearing immediately improves or this.I always feel this way when you
(21:47):
walk into a store and you wantto buy something, it's not there for
whatever reason, and you walk outof the store with nothing. I always
feel like I'm in trouble, LikeI'm going to get in trouble for shoplift.
Oh I do you feel guilty?I feel like immediately guilty. First,
think of that. Somebody's got tothink I stole something. Yes,
yeah, when you walk out withnothing, no bags, I do that
(22:10):
all the time. You don't feelguilt, like any kind of guilt about
it. Okay, so now we'regonna do the question game. We love
the question game, don't we?Yes? We do? We do?
All right, play us some littlesimple music for the question game. That's
too Scared and that was the ghostHunter. There we go. Now,
(22:32):
I tease this on our last episode, and I want to know honestly,
think about it very clearly. OnYou're honest for Real answer, You're walking
in a forest. You find ablack suitcase. Inside it holds one million
dollars and a piece of paper stainedin blood with a single word, don't
would you take the suitcase home?Or do you leave the suitcase there?
(22:56):
Okay, here's what I do.Since somebody says one word, just says
don't, we don't know what don'tmean. So I surmise that it means
don't leave your money laying around.So I go, good advice. So
I take that money. And thenyeah, what about the smeared in blood
part paper cut? Obviously? Okay, so you take it? Oh yeah,
no problem, Eric. Oh thisis the start of every horror movie,
(23:26):
or it could be the start ofa horror movie. Wait, real
quick, how much money is it? One million? One million? That's
a lot of money to hide fromthe irs. Well, so you're saying,
then now you're going back on regardless, I take it. This is
what I would do, all right, I would, of course, no
one's around that can't say, didyou lose a million dollars? Of course
(23:48):
I would go take it, takeit to the bank. I wouldn't keep
it in my home. I takeit to the bank and put it in
a safety depossle box. That isawful idea, because the bank has to
log down you deposit a million dollars, They go, oh, great,
you found a million bucks. Perfect. Why would they have to log it
what I what if I said ofa jewelry, Yeah, it's his own
(24:08):
personal Okay, then what do youdo with that? Well, the positive
box is not going to hold amillion dollars. I mean you out of
the briefcase. Can you get abig enough one? Can you get a
big one? Different sizes? Imean how many how much space does I
mean? Assuming the ten millions inhundred dollar bills, it's one million,
(24:29):
sorry, one million in one hundreddollar bills. Each stack of hundred dollar
bills is I think ten thousand.Still a lot of stacks of Yeah,
but I would rent, and thenthat way I don't have the ju ju
in my house. But then whatdo you do with it? Well,
if the bank catches on fire,then I know that the dogs leave it
there forever, no river or something, and the note, no, I
(24:55):
sell it, You sell the briefextra little profit. No, then I
made a million dollars, I willjump there twent five dollars, and then
I would use it. It wouldbe awfully hard to leave it there,
but I would because I would takethat out. I do. I take
the note. I sell it toa Halloween prop store. I made an
extra two dollars. On top ofthat, now I'm up to one million
(25:18):
and twenty seven dollars. I wouldthink that I was being filmed for some
kind of prank show. Oh,then I would get notoriety and a million
dollars. No, they wouldn't giveit to you. It was just a
prop. Oh, then I getnotoriety. I immediate immediately use my notoriety
to start some type of brand useless, and then I make a million real
(25:38):
dollars. Okay, there you go, There you go. Now this one
is pretty interesting. Uh, ifyour girlfriend this is more good thing,
you can relate to this more.But you can if you put your mind
to it. If your girlfriend andyour mother changed bodies. Oh, what
the I don't like where this isgoing. I know you're not gonna like
it because you have to answer it. The only way to get them back
(26:02):
to normal is to have sex withone of them. No, Jesus Christ,
who what the do you choose?You? You break up with your
girlfriend and you disown your mom.No, You're never going to disown your
mother, No way. And wecan only talk on the phone. That's
horrible. Your girlfriend and your momchange places, yes, change bodies,
(26:26):
and the only way to get themto change back is you have to have
sex with one of them. Whodo you choose either? I would have
sex with my girlfriend in your mother'sbody. Yeah, but it's just like
the spirit the shell. Your momwouldn't remember it, but you would.
Yeah, you'd remember the visual andthen I'd be in therapy for the rest
(26:47):
of my life. Could you Idon't even know you. Could you could
perform? I know? Wow?I know wow. Okay. You find
a book, you begin to readit, only to discover that it's your
life. You get to the pointwhere you're at right now. Do you
turn the page knowing that you willnot be able to change the events to
come? Hell? Yeah yeah No. Also, there's no way I can't
(27:11):
change the events. I say,I don't want to know. I want
to be surprised. Okay, let'ssay the book says you get ran over
by a car on main Street,and that day I just I don't go
on main Street. There's no wayfrom there's no way for me to die.
See, that's not what I waspicturing. I was picturing like,
(27:33):
like, what, no, Iwant. I don't want to know what
my future. I kind of likeif I had a crystal ball. I
wouldn't want to know where I'm goingto be intenuo. Wouldn't you want to
know, like, let's say somethingbad but that you could least at least
mentally prepare for and you could handleit better. I didn't know. I
think that would be I don't know. It would totally suck, would totally
I think I am. I knowingme, I'd probably be like, all
(27:56):
right, just one more page,Okay, just one more page, I'll
just read it. Oh my god. Would you rather have to say everything
that comes to your mind? Ornever say anything again? Never say anything?
You never saying? Really like,everyone has those weird thoughts. They're
just awful and totally yeah, thechance you have to spew those out,
(28:18):
Oh my gosh. No. Ifyou could go back to any age you
want for one month, what agewould you choose? Oh? I would
choose I don't know why, andI don't remember why this was such a
great age for me, But Ilove twenty seven. I can't relate.
I don't know. I know whatdo you want to be fourteen? Again?
(28:41):
I mean, like I know,maybe twelve, I don't know.
Twelve where you don't have any billsor or thirteen. You're kind of puban
it out though, starting to getpuberty. If you're seventeen seventeen, you're
still in high school? You stillwant to be in high school? Is
that when you're just graduated? I'msorry, excuse me? You graduated early
(29:02):
sixteen? I graduated. You graduatedwhen you were sixteen? Yeah, I'll
come Wait, that's not the normalschool you graduate when you're eighteen? Is
it eighteen? Yes? Seven,seventeen or eighteen? Yeah, seventeen or
eighteen? You have no clue.I was like, do we have a
savant here among us? Oh?Yes, fourteen? Did you finish college
(29:26):
in like a month? I did? I blew through everything. Okay,
now we're gonna say this is me. If I murdered somebody for a good
reason, but you couldn't go tothe police, how would you dispose of
the body or would you would youactually turn me in? What's the reason?
(29:47):
It's a good reason? Maybe thismaybe this person raped me or something.
Oh, let's well, I don'tknow. There's gotta be more to
it, but obviously it's for agood reason it do. Would I help
you? Yeah, you're gonna helpme dispose of the body, yes,
or how would we do it?How would we or you or you can
turn me in? Well, whatif I just want to turn a blind
eye? No, there's that's notone of the choices. I would help
(30:11):
you, okay. How would wedispose of the body? What would take
it in a fire pit? Andhow did you murder him? Let's just
say I stabbed him where? Thisis important stuff. Haven't you ever listened
to the true crime? I stoppedhim fourteen times and the heart where like,
like where did you? Like?What location did you stand him?
Doesn't matter? Yes, because itdepends on that. Okay, I stabbed
(30:33):
him in the chest and the stomach, like I mean like a what location
in the earls? Yeah? Okay, dide him over? Stab him?
Or yes? Oh god, wellthen it's my Okay, so the body's
at my house and the blood's atmy house. How do we get how
do you help me get rid ofit? Well, okay, you're gonna
(30:53):
help me clean. You'll help meclean. Was I already here? No?
Okay, sneak in the back,sneak in the back. I'd wear
his clothes. Oh well, becausewhat if there's a camera around that can
see him there's no okay, wellthere's no camera. You don't know that.
Okay, don't your fire pit outthere? We throw him in there,
(31:15):
Well, we'd have to throw himin bit by bit. So did
we chop him up? Yeah,we'd have to. Oh my god,
it's gonna get so gory. Youtake his car, you crash it into
a tree, and then you hehas all these stabs. Yes, okay,
this is gonna sound really dark.It's actually how you do it.
Okay, I dressed up as him, take his car out, crashed into
a tree. Well, first Ipick up a hitchhiker, and then I
(31:36):
crashed into a tree, knock outthe hitchhiker, light the car on fire,
because although he his cremated remains,they won't be able to know it
wasn't him. There's no DNA fromthat. And then I come back here
and I help you dispose of thebody. But like chopping up, throwing
the ocean or something, So wewould chop it up, or just just
like put like something heavy around hisankle with a rope and throw the drop
(31:59):
it. They'll find it because thenwe go fishing. We go fishing,
and we can throw it in thefeed to the fish and then wow,
you know that's fair. Wait,listen to the true crime. Here's the
thing. There was a real serialkiller who uh they was it or he?
Like they thought he? I thinkthis was he. They thought he
died, but turns out he justpicked up a hitchhiker, crashed his car,
and let the car on fire.So then they found his car and
(32:22):
they found a bunch of remains inthe car and they assume he's dead.
So they actually like he was actuallydeclared dead and everything, but you're still
alive. Wow. Yeah, thatreminds me of a movie I started watching
called Searching for Sugarman. Have youever heard of this? Oh yeah,
Oh my god, about this aboutthis singer named Rodriguez that should have been
as big as the Stones. Heshould have been as big as anybody else,
(32:44):
Uh, Jim Crochey, Bob Dylan. He had like great lyrics,
he had a great voice and everything, but for some reason he never made
it because there was nothing. Nobodycould find out any information about this dude.
And the rumor was that he sethimself on fire on stage and killed
himself that way in front of likeeverybody. But it turns out that wasn't
(33:07):
the case. I'm not gonna I'mnot going to ruin it. It's a
movie that's been out for a while, but searching for Sugarman and then I
fell asleep, so I don't knowif they they did. Well, I'm
not going to say anything, sayanything. I don't want to ruin it.
But that's it was a really good, really good documentary. I think
just lighting somebody on fire is probablythe best thing. How do you get
away with it? Though? Well? Yeah, where can we set like
(33:30):
a big bonfire at the beach orsomething? How do you know people won't
see? You think about this story? I know we can't do it my
fire pit, my fire pits,this pig. Yeah, your neighbor might
see, like, what's cooking?I've never smelled anything like that before.
(33:52):
Oh you know what we could do? Take it? Dump it into a
river full of piranhas. Oh okay, that out that's close by. Yeah,
you can get hid, you canmelt the body. Yeah, but
they did that on Breaking Bad andthey it eats through porcelain. So you
have to do it in a plastictub. Yeah, pala plan, yes,
(34:14):
yes, so we have to giveit a tub big enough for a
man barrel they make they make plasticbarrels for transporting chemicals. That would be
easy. Oh okay, yeah,just done, done. We'll just disintegrate
him. Yeah, per okay.And then what do we do with the
barrel? You drain it into thesewage? Oh, very very late at
(34:35):
night, very late at night,a neighborhood not close to here. Okay,
all right. Would you rather havefour legs or four arms? Four
arms die die? Yeah, enjoyfour arms? Me too, me too.
If you could ask your future selffrom the year twenty twenty five,
one question, what would it be? It's not that far away, right,
(34:58):
No, tell me quick, tellme something I should do right now
or that I should know. Mmhmm. I'd say it'd probably be something
about work, like what or likewhat should I What move do I make?
(35:19):
What's the proper move that I maketo get like a full time gig
somewhere? I don't know. Iprobably shouldn't talk about this on Yeah.
Yeah, thanks for the depressing uslak great. Thanks. Anybody have a
razor blade? Shut up? Okay? Anyway, and then here's here's really
(35:44):
we're going to end on this.Here are some things that make one is
that allergy related the coughing. Yes, are you how are you with the
allergies? Are you drugged up tonight? No? I'm not okay, you
were drugged up last week. Yeah, Eric was very drugged up for his
(36:05):
poor allergies. Are they getting better? Is the Pallen countdown or something?
What are you allergic to? Justthe air? Just all the pollen?
Yeah, oh my gosh, becauseit is spring and I just found out
I had allergy testing done. Whatwhat else are you allergic to? You?
That was a good one. Youwalked it right into that, Laura.
I know, well I did kindof drop a bomb on him about
(36:29):
the best friend thing, about invitingStacy fact that, yeah, you're not
your best friend. I forgot aboutthat. That's okay, because you're not
his best friend either. I've neverthrown that at his face ever ever?
Have you did tonight? I'm sorry? Now, it's just that wedding dark
vomiting, vomit, don't see vomit. I hate that word on you.
(36:54):
Vomit on your feet? What's wrongwith bombs? I don't throw up?
Righte is okay? Wait? Whatlike? What part of it is that
the min or? The law thatis bad for you. Vombit. Yeah,
the whole thing is just a horribleword. I'm just gonna do it.
It's going to things that make youdisproportionately angry. This happens to me
(37:22):
frequently when I'm walking by because Ihave knobs on my dresser that kind of
stick out, and every once ina while I'll walk by and one of
my belt loops or my sweater getsstuck in the knob and it like snags
it. Oh my god, thatmakes me so angry. How about when
somebody comes to a four way stopand they say, okay you go,
(37:45):
or you say you go, nothey go, no you go, And
so you're sitting there going well,no go ahead, no go ahead,
and then they're like no, no, no go ahead. That drives me
insane. I hate it. Butit's definitely not that's annoying. It's annoying.
What about Oh this is annoy youknow. Do you wear those low
cut socks, the no show socks? Not no show, but yeah,
low cut? Do you wear theones that are sometimes if you wear maybe
(38:07):
higher shoes, like maybe boots ofsome sort with those socks, the sock
gets I would never wear low cutsocks. With boots. Well, your
socks should always be higher than yourshoe. Well, then you don't ever
get the thing where the sock goesright down to the middle of your foot.
That is the most choices. Imake poor decisions. Yes, oh
(38:34):
this happens to me. You wouldn'trelate to this. But every time I
decide, I'm like, I'm goingoutside, I'm gonna go to the store.
I'm gonna put a little lip glosson just so I look a little
bit more presentable. Never fails.Walk outside, gustawin right, my hair
sticks to my lip gloss. Itgets me so annoyed. Can't relate,
I know, or you can't relateto this one, But I know women
(38:54):
can. When you push on thebrake real hard, you're at a stop
sign or whatever, the light turnsred and your purse flies off the passenger
seat and all the contents spill onthe ground. I thought you would to
say something. You're like, womencan relate, And I was like,
and then you start talk about driving. I was like, women can relate
to me, like bad drivers orsomething. I was like, the first
(39:15):
thing, the first thing, everythingdumps over and it's sure, Oh my
god, is there anything that youcan think of that makes you like a
little angry, like a little Mypurse drops on the floor all the time
because I'm a bad driver, likemost women. How much time do we
have? Can you give me one? Yes? Wait, I thought we
were playing the question game. Ialready gave you the question. It was
(39:35):
a short, little little question.One of the things that makes me so
angry, yes, is when becauseI work in an environment where we work
on appointments. Oh yeah, ohboy, this thing makes me more irritated
than when somebody has an appointment andthey show up either an hour or two
(39:59):
hour early, or an hour ortwo hours late, or they don't show
up at all, and then theyjust come by another day and they're like
hi. So people that feel entitlement, Oh totally all right. You want
another question, because I do havethe whole questions. Here we go.
I got a question. What Okay, let's say you die, Okay,
would you rather find out that thereis no afterlife? There is just you
(40:21):
know, blip boom, there isno existence. You're you're you're gone forever,
or would you either find out thatyou're going to the bad place?
What about the good place? You'renot going the good place. Either you
either like lights out, bye byeand that's it, or hell or there
is existence. Let's not say it'slike pure torture, but let's just say
it's not. It's not nice.But what about the good place? You're
(40:45):
not going there? Why that's justnot a choice, because yeah, Lord
does this all the time. I'mdoing it. Would you rather simply cease
to exist? Yes? Or wouldyou go to We'll just say rather immoderately
irritating like place that's like you're gonnabe there, fraternity. It's not good,
but it's kind of like at leastits existence at least. Yeah no,
I'd rather just be zip zip zoppedout. What about you? I
(41:08):
don't know. I guess it reallydepends on how bad the hell is.
Look, we do have the bowlof questions I did bring, So let's
end with each one answering a bowla question from the bowl. Okay,
all right HEREIC go ahead. Ilove the question. I know it's actually
a bowl of questions. What's thebiggest lie that you used to get out
(41:30):
of work? I've never lied toget out of work? Same, Oh
okay, actually I have. Itwas definitely car troubles though. That's that's
what the lie was. Yeah,you know what, No, I do
remember one time, this was yearsand years ago, and I had a
boss that I hated. I'll evensay her name because I don't care,
(41:54):
No, don't. I don't thinkwe should allegedly allegedly whatever word name is.
Jane Doe. Yeah, she wasinsufferable. I hated her. We
had a team building day at Disneyland, and I said I was sick,
(42:15):
so I didn't have to go andspend and look at her for an entire
day. You didn't go to Disneylandbecause of her, Dude, that's insane.
Well, I said I was sickbecause I refused to go. Just
don't go with her, just likeit was a hole, it was a
whole. We had to be together, like lost. Sorry, I got
lost in the bathroom. So Iwas like, I'm sick. I can't
(42:35):
go. Okay, I'm stuck inline at the Indiana Jones Adventure, Like
I just don't know how to geta line. I'll have to go on
the ride. Brian, do youwant me to pick for you? Yeah?
Please do? Okay, here wego, all right? Some one
looks like a long one. Herewe go. I bet that's not the
first time you've said that. Probablyactually is we call Okay, what is
the one perfume or cologne that drivesyou crazy? Someone wears it a good
(43:05):
perfume. That's somebody wears that youlike. I wear well, I wear
Guilty by Gucci, sometimes by Versace. What I really want is some being
fume fume by tom Ford. Butit like three and O god, it's
so expensive, is exquisite, butso not with it. It's not I
have a hack for you. Theydon't make it for the one I know.
(43:30):
Well, No, it's a sitecalled micro Perfumes. I know that
I have to yet to find onethat makes the sense I want for this
time. But no, they takethe actual they give you. They give
you a little just a little bit, like a travel size, so at
least you can try it out andsee if you like it. Micro Perfumes
and so you can get like thelittle teeny tiny sample, you can get
(43:52):
a travel size or you can getthe full bottle. It's really good.
All right, here's your question?Then, what songs should they play at
your wedding? All Star by smashMouth. I'm kidding, like please,
beginning. Please please is hey?Now wedding first dance, first dance is
(44:20):
important, is important, So Ihave to be have a slow song.
I like when the world caves inby like the one Michael Blue by Michael
Buble sings. Okay, a crowdpleaser, lord hereon her On's good some
of this stuff, but they're allkind of depressing, but they do have
a nice cadence for slow dancing.For for sure. For your wedding,
(44:44):
I would do something like for meor for him for him? Oh okay,
I do something really nice like theone by you know this remember the
song all my life I pray forsomeone like you think it does not have
(45:14):
I just looked it up. Microperfumes does not have ebon a fume.
Oh it doesn't has It has alot of other tom Ford stuff. It's
the duet between Julia Michaels, andit talks about two lovers and if the
world was ending, they would alwayswhat's sorry, okay Julia Michaels and something
(45:39):
of the world ends. Yeah,And it's a beautiful. So that's what's
the one where it's like love,love will keep us some sweet tugd lover
lovers in a stream. What's thatone in the stream? That is what
(46:00):
we are? How can we gowrong? Stay away with me to another?
We really another? I wish toall of the clips of the heart
(46:21):
was more uppy because I love thatone too, because the same kind of
repetitive. Or you could do adance version of that. You want to
do a dance at your wedding,I'll do it. I'll do an interpretive
dance. Oh my god, andwe'll just speed up the record, like
oh yeah, you'll just be spastic. If you can only eat one type
of food for the rest of yourlife, what would it be easy?
(46:44):
Rice? Damn it? Rice?I love rice. Rice, tacos.
That's gonna be like good. Ireally wanted a piece of pizza today,
Man, I had pizza. Youdid? What kind? What where did
you go? Do you want toplug that left over? I'm assuming it's
from a little Caesars then, Oh, actually, my sister's wedding though they
hired a pizza truck that came out. They had a big pizza oven built
(47:06):
into it. That ever happen.That is like a new thing. A
taco truck. The pizza well,people, people, instead of having it
catered yeah, they're they're hiring thefood trucks. That's like a like a
chef comes out with it and thepizza there's a pizza like a wood fired
oven built into the truck and theyI mean, they have have to be
a good chef too, but likeliterally the best pizza I've ever had,
(47:29):
and I've had like a lot ofgood pizza, you know. And it's
so weird because you know, beforeyou'd go to weddings and it would be
the food by the venue or whatever, and you're like, oh god,
this food is not great. Imean, wedding food isn't usually it's not.
But I saw this. I forgetwho it was. They got married
(47:52):
and they had all these different foodtrucks at the venue, and I was
like, that is a great idea. Oh my god, Maybe I should
slip that to Charlie. If hehasn't he figured out the food? How
would it be for how much wouldit be to hire a food truck right
for a couple, more way cheaperthan get a plate for each person?
And like you said, not goodfood, and you have like three different
(48:14):
ones. You have like Italian,Mexican and like you know, Mediterranean or
something all right, you guys wantto go out and singing the song?
Here we go? Where this is? This is how we're going out?
Waiting? Should should we do that? Should? Okay? Yeah, let's
pull up the lyrics or pull upthe karaoke version. I'm going to do
it right now, so keep talking. Ask us another question. Okay,
(48:36):
let me pull one out of thebowl here. Wait, someone connect to
the roadcaster? Then all right,let me let me do that. I
hope this doesn't get us copyright.That'll be fine. Oh well, well,
if we're not we're singing to it. Yeah, probably will, but
that's okay. Just start the tenderLove is blind? It requires okay,
are you ready? Okay? Okay, are you attached to the roadcaster?
(49:00):
No, he's definitely no, he'smost definitely not. Okay, because okay,
you can connect. Okay, thenI won't connect. So connect,
mister, Yes, connect to theroadcaster. Go to setting. Do you
know how to do it? I'mwaiting, okay, just keep talking anyway.
(49:23):
Evan comes on Saturday for just afew days. She needs to get
her wizom teeth out, so shehas to fly all the way from New
York City to here for a consultationbecause she's getting it done in the summer
because I guess they're really coming inhard and they're really messing things up.
So she has to fly all theway out here for only three days so
she can go. We have theconsultations on Monday, and then she flies
(49:47):
home Tuesday. Amber and my girlfriendAmber is also having to get her she
just had her consultation. Oh yeah, this is about the time when things
start getting try again. It's crazy, it is. Sometimes it's super expensive,
and sometimes insurance we'll cover like allof it. Well hopefully, well,
gosh, I hope. I knowfor ambush it's only a cost like
two and fifty bucks. That's great. I know. Okay, you should
(50:08):
be getting out here we go,are you guys ready? Let's wait for
the commercial band? Eric? Rememberwhat play I am play? Okay,
(50:30):
ski, there we go, mmhmm, okay, here we go.
We skip skipped through a little bit, so we don't do the whole thing
because that might lower our chances ofgetting copyright strong. I know, well,
Baby, when I meet you,there was please I set out to
(50:53):
get you with the fun you Calmaso insid there was something going on.
You do something to me that Ican't explain. Hold me closer and I
(51:14):
feel no pain every beat of myheart. We got something going on.
Mm hmm, Here we go.Tender love is blind. It requires a
da vacation. All this love wefeel needs no conversation. We ride it
(51:36):
together, making love with each other. Islands in the stream. That is
what we are, no one inbetween. How can we be wrong?
Stay away with me to another worldand we were live on each other,
(52:01):
from one love to another. Ohyeah, that was a good I love
it. Wow, Brian, weare singing at your wedding. Guys,
here we go. We've just you'vealready booked the talent. You've got the
food track from yeah from now youto do rap? Guy? If you
(52:22):
do rap, God, you cansing my wedding, well, I will
you know what challenge accepted? Dodo? Do right now? No?
I don't know. I don't know. That's what I thought. I'm so
sick and tired of be it admired. I just ride. That's not I
it's eminem. Anyway, let's endon that beautiful song. Oh my gosh,
that was really already brought us togetheras close as a family. I
hate to hate you guys a littlebit more now. But oh I love
(52:45):
you guys a little bit more becauseof this. I mean I almost slid
out of my underwear listening to keepme Twenty fourth Friday opened v a house.
We're going to you guys could havesuch a good time. Details to
come on and how to get tickets. Yes, my god, we have
ads. Oh my god, ourfabulous sponsors, am my god. Okay,
(53:07):
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