May 23, 2024 • 50 mins
This is one of our favorite games where Laura launches a scenario and we all have to give the lowest price we would do it for. Like, "What's your price to drink a cup of sweat from one of us on the show or what's your price to marry a complete stranger." Things get so funny when we play this game.
Erik's car drama has escalated...a lawyer has now come into play!
Are tacos truly sandwiches?
Laura's Portland trip to visit Charlie and his fiance was simply beautiful. And, it's Producer Bryan's 2nd Anniversary with the show! Thank you, Bryan, for all you do. Hopefully, we will see you at Viejas Casino on May 24th for the podcast party for Bryan and Laura, seeing as it's her actual birthday! George Michael Reborn is performing! DM us on IG @lauracainafterdark to see if we have any extra tix if you wanna come!
Thank you for watching. More shows coming at ya next week.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Erik's car drama has escalated...a lawyer has now come into play!
Are tacos truly sandwiches?
Laura's Portland trip to visit Charlie and his fiance was simply beautiful. And, it's Producer Bryan's 2nd Anniversary with the show! Thank you, Bryan, for all you do. Hopefully, we will see you at Viejas Casino on May 24th for the podcast party for Bryan and Laura, seeing as it's her actual birthday! George Michael Reborn is performing! DM us on IG @lauracainafterdark to see if we have any extra tix if you wanna come!
Thank you for watching. More shows coming at ya next week.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:11):
You. It's not Hello. Welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. I'm Laura
Kane, and it's my birthday tomorrow, your anniversary tomorrow. Well actually day,
actually it was on I think Wednesday. No, I think it was
on Tuesday. The actual day wasthe twenty first, really I think.
(00:34):
Now. First of all, welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. I'm Laura
Kane. Everybody. This is EricRimmer, my loyal and wonderful cost my
work husband. You're my hot You'remy husband husband, not just work.
That's that's a desperation though, Wellit's out of yes, desperation and necessity.
(00:56):
Oh wait, you have the thing? What did you bring the thing?
What thing that you got from thewebsite? The thing? Oh I
forgot? Okay, that'll be nextweek. Should we tell him what it
is? Oh? God? Anyway, and producer Brian Yes, you saw
him. Okay. So we arehaving a party tomorrow night. We are
(01:23):
have very limited tickets. This isa sold out concert. It's George Michael
Reborn. You may have heard theinterview we did with Robert Bartkoe, who
is the singer. He looks justlike George Michael. He sounds just like
George Michael. He's it's the mostfun show you will go to. And
it's already sold out us at VahausCasino and Resort, and they're giving us
some tickets to give to our listeners. And so you know what, at
(01:47):
this point, DM us at LauraKane after Dark and I will email you
your tickets because I think he's Ihaven't received them yet, but I will
be getting them and then I'll emailno, no, no, no,
of course I'm going to get them. But look, this is what we're
gonna do. Doors open at sixo'clock for us. You can always just
come and party with us, reallyand then just hang out in the casino.
(02:10):
But we have a raffle and wehave some cool prizes to give.
Oh way, First of all,we have Laura Kane after Dark merch.
Look at that hoodie. Look atthat No, that's a beautiful hoodie right
there. Okay, we have tshirts and Lahoya Cosmetic gave us this beautiful
(02:30):
set of elastin and those products areamazing. They're amazing. This is like
almost a two hundred dollars value youget that whole set. I mean when
you look at me now, afterI've used those products. Don't you just
want to diaper my face because it'slike got baby's but it looks so freaking
good. No, don't take thatfrom me. Where you taking that?
I'm holding up? Oh? Thatisn't that what a husband's supposed to?
(02:52):
Wow? You get so grabby.Wow. We're supposed to pleasure her and
she is clearly gone a long longtime without a man's touch. Yeah,
hold on, let me let medo the shocker. It's not the shocker.
Wait with the shocker at that yourdon't do that, don't do don't
(03:13):
say it the shocker. Oh oneon the penguin on the stake. Oh
god, well now I can't sayhis name. I'm not gonna what is
giving Let's have a moment of silence. What's the crickets? Just thank you,
(03:34):
Brian, thank you. I appreciateshocker. I know it's shocking.
Is how much Jay Wurtzler can helpyou, and he's helped us by providing
a hunch is amazing. For yourgambling names or whatever you want, this
is going to be auctioned off thanksto Jay. Put it in the g
string of a dancer. We're goingto a strip club and then this is
(03:57):
all. I took this on theairplane with me. That's one of the
best. It is all crumpled,but look at how full it is.
Full of crystals and jewelry from SanDiego. Crystals and jewelry. Our friends
great are so great. So wehave all these fun prizes to auction off.
Not auction off. We are doinga raffle, so it's gonna be
really fun. And then the doorsofficially open at seven the show starts.
(04:17):
I think it's seven thirty or eight, and it's outside, and so bring
a jacket and then we're just gonnahave fun. We're gonna party. It's
my actual birthday, but we arecelebrating Brian's two years with the show.
Brian, I want to know whathas been Well, this is probably a
stupid question. What has been thehigh point of these two years? Do
(04:43):
you want to sit over there?The pinnacle? The pinnacle? Let me
think there have been two. Youhave to speak one. Okay, it
was Tuesday, really the hair someporn, Yeah, yeah, oh my
god, I will say the kanuis the first kan This thing was quite
the shock too though. That waspretty That was pretty cool, Okay,
but might have to give it toold Harrison Ford. Now, what was
(05:06):
what has been the worst part aboutevery other week besides the ones with the
I don't know low point? Yeah? Was is there anything like that?
You're you regret saying or you likeyou regret doing answering his phone on his
(05:27):
day off? Are you looking foran apology? I'm just we used to
play this game with the kids,like what was your high and what was
your low today? So I justwanted to get high today, but low.
I'm just saying over the two yearswith the podcast. But anyway,
okay, nothing but highs, nothingbut highs. Well, no, there's
just there's only a couple of highsI can think of, and there's a
lot of load. Do you noticethat both of the highs were me related?
(05:55):
Yeah, Laura has never gotten mehigh. So yeah, because I
don't do that, duh, duh. And you don't know anybody. I
don't know anybody famous. Okay,we have a debate. Oh, by
the way, if you want togo to the party, lorcan after dark
Instagram dms and if we have anytickets left, they're yours, okay,
and otherwise just show up via houseresort. I guess you know, Friday
(06:18):
night. It's gonna be a blastsix o'clock. Okay, Now this we're
going to party like it's uh,nineteen forty two. That's why I'm wearing
my party dress right now. Nineteenforty two. Yeah, the brink during
the middle of the World War two. Yeah. Yeah, Soon we're all
going to go work a shift ifthe munition factory. Yeah. Now this
(06:39):
incensed me. And this is thisis wrong. This is wrong on all
sorts of counts. But I wantto know what your opinion is. A
judge has ruled in Indiana that tacosare indeed sandwiches. Bullshit, No,
(07:02):
and so are burritos. They're nota sandwich. What a dumb, dumb,
They're not a sandwich. Tacos arenot sandwiches. No, sandwiches have
bread. Bread makes a sandwich notnecessarily, okay, but a taco ain't
a sandwich. No. Well,okay, here's the thing. I had
(07:23):
tacos for lunch today. Oh see, I can say two things can be
sandwich together. There's no bread there, Well, what's bread? What if
I get? What if I dolike gluten free bread, that's the bread,
Like Brian and I could sandwich you. No, Listen. There's some
dude that was trying to open ataco shop in a strip mall in Fort
Wayne, and he ran into redtape because the contract limits the type of
(07:46):
restaurants that are allowed in this stripmall, so they could only sell made
to order subway style sandwiches. Sohe went to court and he claimed that
his tacos and his burritos are sandwiches, and so he is allowed to sell
them there. And then the judgesaid yes, and so now he can
open up his a little time.That's the dummies, Okay, I shame
(08:07):
of mine. I hate that guyis such a prick. He went to
the judge just so you can getout of his contract that he already signed.
I'm on, yeah, no,I'm I'm on the I'm happy for
him he gets a tacos, dummy, but I'm not elsewhere. You can't
sign a contract then go to thecourts and be like, I didn't like
the contract I signed. Please redefinetaco so I can. God, if
(08:30):
he would have done his due diligenceand you know, studied at first,
maybe he wouldn't have been such adip ship. But a dummy. We
can all agree though they are notsandwiches and noo no, okay, here's
the thing. If you go toTaco Bell and you get the crunch wrap,
it's kind of like a sandwich.There we're drawn, we're walking the
(08:50):
line. There there's some that's TacoBell where they have Z grade meat.
I want that crunch wrap spring.I am not really, I am not
taking you to get it. Ohcome on, I get the black bean
one. Oh never mind, don'ttake her. We are you down for
that? If it doesn't have meanI wanna go? You don't, but
(09:15):
you're gonna. Oh you're gonna.I'll go to might. I might spring
for mommy for her birthday. Ohmy god, it is one worth three
week Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean god, if all she
wants it Taco Bell, jeezy.You know I'll pay this time because I
got the hairson fore posters, solet me pay it back. Wow,
my person gets seventy five cents each. We could, we could, we
(09:39):
could feed feed ourselves for a weekon seventy five cents of Taco Bell.
You think they're sauce packets are lessthan that? Yeah, totally. You
know what? You know what's expensiveeverything? Well, yeah, Oh my
god, let me go on.Okay, I'm gonna go on an aeric
grant. Oh boy, I liveHow far way do you think I live?
(10:00):
For from the airport a mile anda half. You are much farther
than that, maybe three. Maybekeep talking about fact check it. I
went over the weekend to go seeCharlie and Maya in Portland. Oh,
I know what you're gonna say.And I got home on Monday about I
(10:22):
don't know, two forty Five's whenI needed the Uber. So a PM
on Monday, it's like three milesall right, okay, so I literally
live three miles from the airport.Let me guess how much it was forty
(10:43):
dollars? Just about it was thirtytwo dollars. And so the guy was
telling me, He's like, youknow, because I blurted it out to
the driver, I'm like, whywas this ride to the airport thirteen dollars
and the back from is now thirtytwo? I don't get it. He
goes, that is Uber screwing bothyou and me. He goes, He
(11:07):
goes, I only get twelve dollarsof this, he goes, Uber gets
all the rest, he goes.Everybody's in coots with everybody else, and
then it was making me feel andthen I got supercars. I thought,
it's gonna puke. Listen, soshe can't blame me. Oh my god,
that would be so awesome if youwould have thrown out Oh no,
oh my god, that would havebeen amazing. It's just I it's expensive
(11:30):
to run uber as a company though, But seriously, thirty two dollars.
I mean, I'm thinking, wasis it the time of day? Did
they know that it was? Itwas super packed at the airport. My
question is, what's like the comparabletaxi rates? Like our taxi is more
expensive, cheaper, Like this iswhy I don't take a taxi because they
get so mad. Oh when youtell them that you live three miles away.
(11:54):
Oh yeah, because they're sitting thereat the airport waiting for that big
fare and then I come along.I get in the town, I'm like,
oh, I'm just going up thehill. Oh I've gotten some really
mad people. So I don't Istay away from thirteen bucks. Twelve bucks
bring back taxis. I know,I know totally totally experience. It is
(12:16):
totally experienced, and I just Ijust want to say that I am so
proud of my son. He isjust he has created the most beautiful life
in Portland with his fiance Maya,and he just got a new job,
which is like a big boy jobwith a company car and everything. And
(12:41):
just watching the way that they interactwith each other, I'm like, that
is true love. There's no doubtin my mind that those two people were
made for each other. And theyjust moved into a new house that they're
renting, and they have a littledog. And I'm telling you what,
I'm going to be a grandmother bythe time the next year rolls around.
(13:01):
I guaranteed, I feel it.I bet it. I bet his wedding
is going to be really fun.No, don't And you know what,
I will be Eric well and we'llbe able to talk about it. I'm
still I'm still going go crash ittold you. Do you want to come?
Keep one eye open. I can'tcount. I hear it's at b
(13:22):
yo F wedding. Bring your ownfirecrackers. Oh yeahers b yo R.
Bring your own rage where I'm gonnaobject to everything. It's just so cool
to see your kids. I mean, it's I'm sad not having my kids.
I would love if my kids livedwith me still, I mean,
I'm weird like that. Would youlike me to move in with you?
No, you're too bratty. You'remuch too bratty for my kids were never
(13:48):
bratty like like you're How are wegoing to live together in our old age?
If you think I'm bratty, nowyou're going to grumpier. Oh no,
yeah, because the older you get, the grumpier you can. Sorry,
you signed up for it. Thereare solutions that problem and they all
start with the word vallium rd xanaxor we're going to make you some smoothies
perfect. I don't care. Well, you just rubbed my feet, change
(14:13):
my diaper. Okay, we'll beso doped up gummy bears. It's fine
for Grandpa. I'll be like Laura, I have to go to the never
mind the maiden here quick? Andthen do you want to know are you
guys going anywhere from Memorial Day?Are you going to stay right here?
(14:37):
Right here at your house? Now? Listen a lot. This is the
second most popular destination San Diego.Did you know that No? Number one?
I guess which number one is?For a Memorial Day weekend? Think
about it. It's going to beshite show the Texas Vegas. Think about
(15:01):
the crowds on the sidewalk. Iwouldn't think to go to Vegas Memorial Day.
I wouldn't either. Yeah. Well, a lot of people have Monday
off, so they Oh, let'sgo to Vegas for three days. You
know what I mean? Wait,I can say about anything. I can
say, let's go Disneyland for threedays. Let's go to la for three
you know I'm going. I'm goingthat week, but I'm leaving on Thursday.
(15:22):
Oh yeah, you're going to seeOh that's right, that's right,
Christina Aguilera. Oh you're going tocome home with some stories. It's going
to be really freaking crowded. OhI'm gonna probably are you going to say
somewhere nice? Yeah? Okay,I'm maybe jailed. I'm not sure.
So if you're driving, here's thedeal. Here's when you should drive.
(15:43):
On one, you shouldn't drive becauseI guess a lot of people are going
to be driving. A lot ofpeople are traveling. So here's on Thursday
and Friday. The best times todrive are before eleven o'clock in the morning.
Okay, avoid noon to six pmat all costs. On Thursday and
Friday. Okay, Saturday, you'regood ish maybe hopefully the whole day,
(16:07):
but Sunday and Monday will be psychotic. So the worst times midday and between
three and seven, forget about it. I mean. Also, I would
just say avoid all tourist attractions.And maybe you're San Diego hotspots. Yeah,
I know about your you're a familyand you're a working family, and
you have that day off. Youwant to go do something fun with them
if you're fine. I'm not worryabout the traffic, I know. Just
(16:30):
you know, just stay and chilland watch some really good speaking of driving.
What your car? What's wrong withOh no, don't even go there.
Real quick though, Let's talk aboutour sponsors. Oh of course,
and then we'll go there. Yeah, we need to talk about let's let's
be somebody is going to be suckinga big bag OFDS. Oh my god,
(16:53):
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(18:47):
be at the party. Oh waitfrom Little Hooya Cosmetic. And there's something
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Saturday, May twenty fifth. It'sthe annual Shred Event. Bring your unwanted
document it's tax return process checks,financial statements, et cetera, and have
them shredded while chatting with their financialadvisors. Now's your chance to come and
(19:07):
see the new office, which isbeautiful. It's located at one two six
eight zero High Bluff Drive. Theshred event is from nine thirty to eleven
thirty on Saturday, May twenty fifth. Refreshments will be served and that is
true because I went last year,and there were donuts, there was coffee,
and there was a big giant truckthat was shredding all sorts of stuff.
(19:29):
So and the advisors are out theretalking to everybody, shred your birth
certificate or your I don't even knowwhere that is. I told you that
a while ago. Yeah. Okay, so the car what what? Now?
What now? So? Remember thesaga was I got the car back
after they had to detail it andfix the damage they had caused, right,
(19:55):
correct. So when I the verynext day, when I when I
drove the car home, I waslike, why does it still seem like
it's doing what it was doing whenI brought it in? So I call
them. They're like, come back. So I come back and they said,
oh, because I still needed themto address some cosmetic issues, all
(20:18):
these scratches and stuff that were inthe hood. And I'm like, now
that the car was clean after havingnine months off, you can see it
all rap on it. Yeah.One of the things they said was,
I said, what's this right here? And they said, oh, that's
fecal matter from birds. It atethrough the clear coat. Okay. And
I said, okay, so you'regoing to fix that right? Oh?
(20:41):
No, that's a very expensive procedure. And I said, well, it
wasn't here when I brought the carin, so I don't care how much
it costs. You guys are goingto fix it. Yeah, because you
park in a parking streke r Ihave a garage. Yeah. So I'm
like, I'm not No, thiswasn't here when I drove it in.
So I said, also, thecar is like lurching and it's an automatic,
(21:03):
and I go it, it's notsupposed to do that. And they
said, listen, you have atwenty twenty four transmission with an engine that's
a few years old, so it'sgoing to need a minute to merge.
And I'm like, that doesn't soundright now. It doesn't sound right right,
doesn't. But I've never had atransmission go out on a fairly new
(21:26):
car. So I was like,Okay, how long is this am I
supposed to drive it around? Oh? It should? Well? I drive
it around for a week and itjust seemed like it was getting worse.
So I had a friend of minein the car with me, and he
was like, what what is goingon with your car? I thought it
was fixed and I was like yeah, and he goes, oh, it's
(21:47):
not supposed to do that. SoI called the very next day and I
was like, I'm bringing the carin. Okay. So I bring the
car in. They have the headmechanic drive it while I'm sitting in the
path in your seat. How oftendoes it do this? I said,
every time I've driven the car sinceI got it back. Oh, it's
not supposed to do that. AndI was like, well, cal saprize.
(22:10):
You know, so does the factthat going back? Yes, So
this bomb gets dropped. Oh well, you know it's a it's a refurbished
transmission. And I'm like, holdon, oh, I'm like, you
mean I waited almost a year toget my car back, and now you're
(22:32):
telling me that it was a refurbishedtransmission in there. Oh, well it
has all new dealer parts. I'mlike, no, no, that doesn't
mean anything. No wonder it's doingthis. So we go back in and
I'm all, uh uh nope.So they're like, okay, well we're
gonna have to you know. Sonow I've got the corporate side involved.
(22:56):
I have an attorney because because theycalled me on Friday and said, okay,
you got yourself an attorney. Ohyeah. So oh yeah, so
get this. So they my carhas a ten year warranty on it.
So now I'm already down a here. Now they're saying, okay, so
(23:18):
the computer doesn't pick up anything,but we know something's wrong, and I'm
all yeah, because you put arefurbished transmission in so and my car was
a or is a limited edition.So they're like, okay, well we're
trying to fix it. We're tryingto fix it. And I'm all,
trying is not good enough, Likeit either needs to be fixed or you
(23:41):
need to get me a new car. Where's the car now at the dealership?
How long has it been there?A week? So they call on
Friday and they're like, so,yeah, the only other thing we can
do is we're gonna bring in thiscomputer that we hook up to the car
while we're driving it to see ifit gives us any different readings. And
(24:03):
I said and if it doesn't,they're like, well, then you'll have
to call No. I said,no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, I'mnot calling anybody. You guys can do
it because you're the one that didthe work on the car. I'm gonna
give them a new car you gotI was like, give me a new
car. So then they said,well, you know, we're trying to
repair it. We might have toput another transmission in. And I was
(24:26):
like, nope, okay, sowhat is okay? Why did you get
an attorney? Like what's going tohappen? Because they're like, well,
you have to allow us to tryand fix the car. And I'm like,
well you already I want a newcar, okay. So I said,
so what you mean to tell meis if it needs another transmission,
I'm going to get another refurbished transmissionand I'm going to have to wait almost
(24:51):
another year for it. So I'mnow down two years on my warranty that
they won't extend. So I'm like, I'm getting an attorney. And I
called the attorney's office and there I'llsend us everything you have. This sounds
like it. So you're are yousuing for like like like emotional oh anything
(25:11):
or any of that kind of stuff. Initially I wasn't asking for any money.
All I wanted him to do wasextend the least to extend the warranty.
And since they refused to do it, now it's game on, motherfuckers.
Oh my imagine Eric gets rich fromsuing a car manufacturer. I know
(25:33):
they mess with the wrong you're suingenough the amount of what a new car
would cost or more than that.No, I just want them to replace
the car, to replace the car. Okay, well then that's reasonable.
That is so reasonable. That'll amountto damages though, you'll that'll just be
a monetary value. So but tackon some extra, yeah, tack on
you. You should tack on emotionallike distress and stuff, because it didn't
(25:59):
emotionally stress. Yes, but it'sjust stressed. Well, yeah, behalf
of us family. Yes, we'vebeen dealing with this. I'm like,
do you know the stress that thisis put on my wife? She can't
have children anymore because of it.She is bone dry because of this.
Her ovary fell out by my frontdoor right after the car back by exactly.
(26:23):
All right, we're gonna play what'syour Price? We love this game?
Five million dollars. But I needto get the pads, the little
pads, so talk about you mightjust say it. I switch cameras back
and forth, and okay, Idon't think it adds anything to write it
down. It's kind of funny tolike flip it around. But all right,
school one at the time. Yea. Each person will say it,
(26:45):
okay, great, okay, let'shave a little bit of music. Put
on anything, maybe the absolutely god, you are so accommodating. Brain.
I tried my best. He's ahe is a brat too. This is
a high point. Let's see boomand No, this is too creepy and
(27:07):
scary. That was for like theghost honey one. No, not yet,
not yet. We haven't done thebit yet. Come on, okay,
here we go, Come on.I was about to get up.
I was about to get up,but here we go. I can layer
(27:30):
them. Oh wow, okay,what's your price? Drink a cup of
another person in this room sweat?A full cup? Oh no, oh
god, so either a cup ofmice sweat or a cup of Brian sweat.
Full thing? No, A milliondollars No, but okay, I
(27:55):
want you to be realistic. Don'tjust say, okay, I'm not drinking
anybody's a bottle. It's just sweat. It'd be salty. Five grand oh
no, five grands a lot ofmoney because you can't. Can you catch
anything from sweat? Just gross?Okay, you know what at this plate?
Fifty dollars. She's like just toget me back to even on the
(28:18):
checking negative. I do it forone thousand dollars, I know, fifteen
hundreds. I do it for fifteenhundred. By the way, I mean
Eric going to go to Taco Bellby ourselves because we don't hang out with
poorsy Oh stop it, stop it. Oh my god. What's your price
to let a world champion box orpunch you in the stomach? Oh that
(28:40):
can kill you? Oh hell no, yeah, that can kill you.
Well, it's not going to killyou, but it's gonna hurt. How
much? What's my recovery time?Looking like I don't have details? Ten
million? This is this under athousand? Thank you? He's more real
times infinity. Yeah, that's thing. Oh my god, that it's not
gonna kill us. This that Iwill put that on? Will it rupture
(29:04):
my spleen'n? It's just gonna hurt, Like, Oh, it's just gonna
hurt. It's gonna hurt, it'snot gonna I'm not gonna be hospitalized.
Oh then it's not that hard ofa punch. No, I'm gonna say
one hundred thousand. I think Iwould do it for seventy five hundred Okay,
I just want to realize a championshipboxer, one punch to your stomach
(29:26):
probably would kill you. It's notdefinitely it would oh my boos? Yeah
yeah, okay. What's your priceto surgically attach your pinky to your ring
finger? What does that even mean? Just to make one super long millions?
(29:51):
Oh? That way? I don'tknow, Maybe this way or maybe
this way I get my million,I'd chop it off. Would you reattach
your little pinky? Then of courseyou're pinky to your ring finger? Oh?
These two? Oh yes, Iknow what that means. I think
this, I think this like this, it's like the shocker. Well it
(30:15):
is that. I think you're likefloating. Okay, this is not a
gang. That's the shocker for somebodythat's had the shocker like several times.
Oh looks like he's had the shockerwhen it's physically impossible for him to get
shocked like that. Kidding? Yeah, all right, well we'll move on.
(30:36):
What's your price? No, thinkabout it. Don't blurt out ten
dollars, isn't why I look whatI blurted out one billion dollars? Now,
be real? You know you gettingyou getting that crunch burrito is becoming
thinner and thinner and thinner. Ijust gonna get her a packet of hot
(31:02):
I'm going to get a drink,and I'm gonna get cinnamon balls of cinnamon
balls. Oh yeah, you musthave found money since there's a restriction left
my wallet at someplace that I care. I'm getting a two pack. I
might even get a four pack.I'll do the ordering. That's yeah,
I think Brian should order. Howmuch is your water? Like it's free?
(31:22):
I'm like, oh, that's toomuch. You must have pepsi with
Taco Bell No, never, Okay, I'm a coke person. I like
Coca Cola better than pepsi. Butbut when you eat a taco belt,
you need to have a pepsi withit? Does It's so wrong about this
how the food slide out of yourbuttthole easier? It just is what it
(31:47):
is. No, let me turnyou on something. If you go to
Taco Bell, you have to getMountain Dew Baja blasts. And that's not
just me. That is a culturalthing you must get. But why because
that's the only place that has Bahablasts. You just have to get it.
Okay, But what is is itdelicious? Ever? It? No?
You should get it? Throw uptaco bell? Oh, let's do
(32:08):
it? Why are you going tothrow up? If you have a baja
blast? You might? I might, But if I throw up, it's
gonna be the best thing. Ever. You're not gonna throw up? All
right? No? Here throw Ohmy god? What's your price? Yes?
To pierce your belly button? Oh? Ten grand? I'm taking it
right out afterwards too. Actually Ido it for a grand. I'm taking
(32:28):
it right out afterwards, like Pierce, give me my check. It's coming
out. The lowest you go isthe is a thousand? Otherwise the same
worth doing three grand? Okay?Okay, so now are you being more
realistic? I would do it forone hundred bucks? Like, what's the
point of It's just for a hundredbucks. That's not that much pain,
you know, I mean, Iknow for you, one hundred bucks will
go a long way. But rightnow, that's a lot of taco bell.
(32:50):
Okay, like a fear for threedays, we're going to pretend that
we are all single individuals, rightfor this question? Okay, what's your
price to legally marry a stranger?Can I divorce them? Yeah? Can
I have them sind a prenup beforehand. I don't. Probably, Oh,
(33:15):
it's probably think about like married atfirst million? One hundred million, really
one hundred million? Yeah you could, like you could, Laurie. Here's
the thing. I'm in a committedrelationship. I know. I said we're
not. We're not during this question. There is no world. There is
no world that I exist and thatI'm not in said relationship. So I
(33:37):
reject the premise. You wouldn't understandbecause you're as dry as desert. But
I'm going to get a what shouldI do? Hey, if you want
your taco bell? Oh wow,this is your this is your That was
a carrot that just got dangled infront of you. Okay, look at
(33:57):
me, look at me. Youwant taco bell. I'm getting taco bell.
And you know what, and readthe next question. I would do
it for five million. I'm goingto get I'm going to get a party
pack of tacos too great, andthen they'll say anything else. I say,
yeah, taking off the last tenthings. No, I'm going to
(34:20):
get some Simon twists. She justwants lunch for a week. Yeah,
that's exactly what it is. Somebean burritos and you'll get done ordering.
I'll say, great, that'll beon two separate checks. IF's like,
Laura, did you cater a partyhere? There's just like ten weeks worth
of taco bell in there. No, I forgot what I was saying.
McDonald's is expensive. Have you beento McDonald's. No, because McDonald's gross.
(34:43):
No, their fries aren't. Hello, No, the fries are the
grossest thing. No. All right, So for me right now to legally
marry a stranger, I do itfor five dollars three the license of the
filing fee. I think i'd doit for fifty grand. You do it
(35:04):
for less? Why would you buyyourself? So? Sure? You do
it for ten grand? What's thebig deal? I can always just get
an an moment or divorce. Goget half of it. Some old guy
from like Dubai will pay you fivemillion dollars to marry you. Oh,
that'd be great. See. Willyou find that guy for me? Sure?
Let me. Yeah. By theway, I was down in Seaport
(35:28):
Village and there was a yacht thatwas parked there. Guess how much the
yacht was? Eight million dollar?Fifty million? Yeah, yachts are really
expensive. Who it's some German.Oh it's a German millionaire. Oh my
god. Because you also it's ayacht, and then you also need full
(35:50):
time staff. So guess how muchannually it costs to run this boat.
Probably like two and a half million, twenty five million to run it.
To run it, so he mustgo all over the place use it a
lot. Hey, maybe this isthe one. Let's go down to Sepont
Village and listen you you look likea mermaid right now. So let's just
(36:14):
urt you on the end of theboat. We'll wet you down and you
can be like, hey, I'mcheating. Oh my god. Let's go.
We'll go there on our way backfrom Taco bell I would marry a
stranger for as little as ten grada'll swing by and still have Evans mermaid
tail. Well, we'll dunk youin water. Oh my god, that
would be amazing. Oh my god. And then you could just perch right
(36:35):
on the edge of the thing.Or he'll like hunt you for like the
trophy. Okay, there's a lotgoing. Well, there's like you put
we're supposed to give that to somebody. Brother, Yeah, well that will
probably get sweaty. It's just crumpledOh okay, I see the sweat from
here. Now, what's your priceto go over to a guy using a
(36:58):
urinal and share it the same urinal? Is it somebody I know? If
there's somebody I know, I doit for free. I'd be hilarious.
No stranger, No. What Iwould want to do is like stand kind
of behind him and like pee overhis shoulder. Oh my god, that
would be hilarious. Well what wouldbe so wrong? Is it just so
(37:21):
because you're really close to don't getclose? Yeah, you don't want to
be so especially Yeah, oh god. I remember this. This was years
and years and years ago, anda buddy of mine and I went to
a bar and he had to goto the bathroom and comes out and he's
like, don't use the bathroom andI was like why and he goes,
it's a trough with a mirror infront of it. Oh, so everybody
(37:45):
peed in this trust. It wasn'tlike separate, so you could see everybody.
Everybody's it's ding dong. Bathrooms wereuncomfortable. I went to Stone Brewery
over the weekend. I went tothe bathroom and they have like a line
of urinals, but they don't havethe dividers, but some places don't have
that, so it's whatever. Buttheir urinals are waist high and cut off.
(38:06):
There's not like that little like wallyou can lean into it all.
It's literally just like a pot almostlike stylie. So like you're just like
pissing into a pot in the wall. So there's no protection. So you
just have to mind your business andkeep your eyes down. Okay. So
what's your price? It's one hundredgrand. Also you could be charged with
like sexual assault. I know,yeah, I'm gonna oh gosh, none,
(38:28):
that's getting me real quick. Ohnow you want to make up ruleves
when I ask questions, you liketo stop it. You're asking my question.
I'm going to say, like onehundred grand, A hundred grand,
okay, okay, And I can'tanswer that one okay, okay, I'll
ask your ticket is bigger than everybodyis in this room. I know if
I was a dude, i'd haveI'd have a giant dick. It would
be like a John Holmes, thankyou, thank you. What's your price
(38:51):
to go into a stall that someone'susing in like squat above them in peece
with their legs go. That's noteven close to the same thing. I
mean, it's like the same thing, but it's a that is a whole
uh yoga, No, it wouldbe really So let's say we're at the
AHAs and you have to bring youhave to go to the bathroom really bad.
(39:15):
The line for the women's bathroom isginormous. So you go into the
men's room. Okay, you kickopen a stall door and there's some guy
taking it down. Yeah, youjust pull up your mermaid dress and just
sit on his lap and pee.Wow, I'll give me some rules easier,
don't You won't pee on him,okay, but you will peep through
(39:37):
his legs. Okay, and heand he is. He is doing the
deed while I'm doing just peeing.No, he's doing the deed. Makes
it sound weak. No, he'sin the stall, so he's pooping.
He just likes to sit down.He likes to sit down, sit down.
He's a weird guy. Oh,let me think a stranger men's bethroom
(39:58):
his lap on his CROs well.I would hover. I'm a hoverer helicopter.
It's too tall. You have tosit, you have to make contact
because it's too tall. This isterrible. Whatever, I'll give you.
I'll give you a caveat you canhover, but you'll pee on his leg
a little. Or you can sitand you won't pee on him at all.
Oh yeah, this is so weird. Okay, really realistically, realistically,
(40:24):
what's your price? And which whichone? Do you pe on him?
Or do you just sit on himand pee through him? Do you
give him a golden shower or justa lap dance? I sit on him
and pee through his legs? Forwhat price? Seventy five thousand? Let
me make some calls. Yeah,nobody wants that. I want to see
that. Okay, what's your priceto heckle a church minister? Oh?
(40:47):
A dollar? That would be awful, but that would be kind of funny.
No, it would be okay.Think about the church that maybe your
family goes to and you go,you roll up, you roll up.
Then I'll do it for free,roll up and uh and you start going
yeah, oh yeah, God isn'treal or whatever? So stupid. I
(41:10):
don't know, how would you hackleif I had to say those words A
ba jillion infinity amount of dollars?Because that's awful. I don't know,
that's so weird. I don't don'tOkay, I feel like no man money
because the lasting impacts of that areforever. Okay, yeah, all right,
all right? What's your price?Then? To clean a cat's for
(41:30):
with your tongue like they do anentire cat the full time with your tongue
clean a cat ten thousand, Noway more I do it. You have
to clean the whole cat. Butthe well, what do they do they
the cat? Oh my god,when cats are cleaning themselves, they don't
(41:51):
like their but do that put itsleg way up in the air and oh,
I don't know, I've never hadOh yeah, oh can I change
my rate? What's your rate?I want the price? I'm going to
say seven hundred and fifty thousand.I will say you get one purel wipe
beforehand, however you want to useit. If you want to stare seven
(42:15):
hundred and fifty thousand, I woulddo it for five thousand dollars. Jes,
have some respect. You're a humanbeing. You deserve more than flicking
fur. Who cares? And whichI wiped off with purel first, there's
still a risk of god or ringworm. Oh my god, you get a
(42:38):
coal? I I am oh madcountry yuck. Okay, then what's your
price to jump head first into apile of warm horse manure head first?
Honestly, I probably do like tengrand. That's the lowest you'd do it
for because you could immediately get outand take a shower. Come on,
(43:00):
maybe five eric twenty five grand.I'd be worried that smell doesn't come out,
That's what I'd be worried about toof course it does. Well,
you take a couple of showers.Heard of a skunk horseman horse poop?
Right, Yes, I've heard ofthis. It's horse. Come okay,
horse three thousand dollars cross. No, I would do it for that.
(43:22):
I would do it for two hundredbucks. Yeah, she's like, oh
god, oh I would do itfor twenty five hundred dollars. Well,
that's pretty twenty five hundred. Look, I would just go ahead. First,
I'd have it on my I'd belike, oh my god, I'm
going to die, and then thenit would be washed off quick with a
(43:44):
host. I only have one thingto say. This is why you're in
the negative and you're checking it out, hey, because I I you are
really low balling yourself. I know, Okay, what's your price to travel
across the country in the trunk ofa car. Oh, prisoner, No,
no, you're just like the mafiacome from. No, Oh,
(44:07):
I get me let out occasionally.Yeah, to pe and like when you
go eat. Yeah, but youbut you are when you were driving thousand?
How long is the trip it's across country? Well, how long
are like, how far are wedriving each day? How long? Any
days it's gonna be. Oh,four are important. If they're driving like
a mile an hour, it's gonnatake like a year. Yeah, four
(44:29):
days, okay, by twenty grandYeah, I do it for fifty Lord,
like ten me think I can makemy own like little area in the
trunk. It's a four door sedan. It's not a big trunk. It's
mafia style. It is good fella'sstyle. Like, so I'm like a
fetal position. Yeah, person,Well the loaner car that I'm driving right
(44:52):
now has a huge trunk. SoI'll tell you what. We go to
Taco Bells to day, We'll putyou back there. Do you want to
do that? Oh my god,that's so illegal. No, let me
hear it. Let me no,it's not. Yes, it is,
Oh my god, it's not fetalposition. Okay, But then you can't
order anything. Wait, you guyslike give me well, oh my god,
can you imagine if we went throughand you were just like tapping on
(45:14):
the trunk. How much how muchdo you guys give me to do that?
Nothing? Huh no, No,nothing's podcast fun. You get you
get a free crunch burger or whateverit is out of it. I'm not
getting arrested for suspected kidnapping, justfor you to have fun on the way
to Taco Bell. If we getpulled over, it's still illegal. By
the way, it's a ticket.Lea. Oh, I'm not getting it.
(45:36):
I'll eat the ticket. Okay,Oh yeah with what No, you
can't eat the ticket. He hasto eat the ticket because he's driving.
Yeah, hell no, come on, it'll be fun for me, for
all of us. For you havea cargo, lock yourself. I'll lock
you in the trunk. And Idon't have a jeep. It's not the
same. Okay, we'll lock youin somebody else's trunk and then go to
talk about Oh my god, youknow, it would be really funny those
(45:57):
to get a picture of her inthat evening gown, like laying in my
I know we should do that.We should told you. Okay, we'll
do one more. Okay, we'llend on this. Okay music please,
Yeah, I got you. Thatwas a beautiful choir. Spend the entire
(46:19):
day at a nude beach with yourparents. Oh oh yeah, they're all
They're alive, they're alive. Wellmean, Eric has to imagine. My
dad's a lot. So we're yourparents are naked, but naked. You're
naked. You were laying on towelsat the beach for a full day of
(46:43):
beach activities, volleyball, frisbee,You're going in the water, you're boogie
boarding, you're doing all the beachfun things. Twenty grand oh my god,
maybe think about it. Fifty ohmy god, maybe fifty seventy five,
five million, one hand. I'mone hand. I go it's like
(47:06):
if you could do it, butI go, no, you couldn't know.
Laura would do it for free.No, like one hundred and seventy
five bucks. No, I'm justtrying to think. I need to visualize.
My mom had a fit when shesaw me in bike shorts one time.
Really a well, we get yourpackage is huge. She probably like
(47:30):
she got so many. I betshe did, because you wear those tights,
Erica, big old dick out ofhere. Oh my, bikes to
her house, and when I showedup the front door, she's like,
why do you do it house?A, yeah, he got a big
one, and B he doesn't wearunderwear, so his poor mother probably saw
your She shows up with the likejust like, oh my. Likely she
(47:52):
refused to go anywhere with me untilI went home and changed probably the veins
or even outlined oh gosh. Yeah, she was not happy. Visual Lee
was not happy. She wasn't havingit. No, Lee would not hope.
Did you change your waist? Okayfor me a full day naked?
(48:14):
And Jenny, what about Jenny andyour brother? And oh my god,
let's just say parents. Let's justsay Charlie and Evan. Oh my god,
let's just let's just say parents.God, this is getting really all
right, all right, okay,just your parents, just your parents.
(48:38):
I would do it for twenty fivethousand dollars. You do it for less,
I know, right, I betless than five grand, especially now
that she has her en hands.But she'd be like, she'd be like
seven dollars and fifty cents. Ido it for grand Yeah, She's like,
(49:00):
I'm gonna get my money out ofthese things. Oh my god,
I'm gonna turn up profit. Butnot not the whole family. Not my
sister, not my brother, andnot my kids. Please okay, just
my parents, Okay, ad inyour sister and brother, not your kids.
He's like, She's like, fine, two grand I'm doubling it.
(49:22):
Oh my god, that would beyeah, Okay, I do you know
what? It's shocking all around.Let's let's just let's just be real.
Jenny Eric, my mom and mydad naked with me on the beach,
doing beach activities all day. We'reat Black Speech. I do it for
(49:47):
five thousand dollars. Oh, Itake my head. But I'm going to
just say I want to go.God, you guys, this is going
to be some party. Laura's goingto be naked. We're going to be
a via house on Friday at six. If you still want a ticket,
please d m us or please,I'm going to Is there a therapist that's
(50:12):
watching? Thank you for watching,My God, sure to subscribe to us
on allable social media channel. Happybirthday, Oh my god, Happy sixtieth
birthday you guys. Anyways, wereally appreciate you guys watching thanks for listening.
We'll see you next time. Thankyou. We're going to Taco Bell
Okay, all right, I'll seeyou guys next time. Mike, did
(50:36):
you turn it off? Anyways?Bye bye, Love you,
You. It's not Hello. Welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. I'm Laura
Kane, and it's my birthday tomorrow, your anniversary tomorrow. Well actually day,
actually it was on I think Wednesday. No, I think it was
on Tuesday. The actual day wasthe twenty first, really I think.
(00:34):
Now. First of all, welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. I'm Laura
Kane. Everybody. This is EricRimmer, my loyal and wonderful cost my
work husband. You're my hot You'remy husband husband, not just work.
That's that's a desperation though, Wellit's out of yes, desperation and necessity.
(00:56):
Oh wait, you have the thing? What did you bring the thing?
What thing that you got from thewebsite? The thing? Oh I
forgot? Okay, that'll be nextweek. Should we tell him what it
is? Oh? God? Anyway, and producer Brian Yes, you saw
him. Okay. So we arehaving a party tomorrow night. We are
(01:23):
have very limited tickets. This isa sold out concert. It's George Michael
Reborn. You may have heard theinterview we did with Robert Bartkoe, who
is the singer. He looks justlike George Michael. He sounds just like
George Michael. He's it's the mostfun show you will go to. And
it's already sold out us at VahausCasino and Resort, and they're giving us
some tickets to give to our listeners. And so you know what, at
(01:47):
this point, DM us at LauraKane after Dark and I will email you
your tickets because I think he's Ihaven't received them yet, but I will
be getting them and then I'll emailno, no, no, no,
of course I'm going to get them. But look, this is what we're
gonna do. Doors open at sixo'clock for us. You can always just
come and party with us, reallyand then just hang out in the casino.
(02:10):
But we have a raffle and wehave some cool prizes to give.
Oh way, First of all,we have Laura Kane after Dark merch.
Look at that hoodie. Look atthat No, that's a beautiful hoodie right
there. Okay, we have tshirts and Lahoya Cosmetic gave us this beautiful
(02:30):
set of elastin and those products areamazing. They're amazing. This is like
almost a two hundred dollars value youget that whole set. I mean when
you look at me now, afterI've used those products. Don't you just
want to diaper my face because it'slike got baby's but it looks so freaking
good. No, don't take thatfrom me. Where you taking that?
I'm holding up? Oh? Thatisn't that what a husband's supposed to?
(02:52):
Wow? You get so grabby.Wow. We're supposed to pleasure her and
she is clearly gone a long longtime without a man's touch. Yeah,
hold on, let me let medo the shocker. It's not the shocker.
Wait with the shocker at that yourdon't do that, don't do don't
(03:13):
say it the shocker. Oh oneon the penguin on the stake. Oh
god, well now I can't sayhis name. I'm not gonna what is
giving Let's have a moment of silence. What's the crickets? Just thank you,
(03:34):
Brian, thank you. I appreciateshocker. I know it's shocking.
Is how much Jay Wurtzler can helpyou, and he's helped us by providing
a hunch is amazing. For yourgambling names or whatever you want, this
is going to be auctioned off thanksto Jay. Put it in the g
string of a dancer. We're goingto a strip club and then this is
(03:57):
all. I took this on theairplane with me. That's one of the
best. It is all crumpled,but look at how full it is.
Full of crystals and jewelry from SanDiego. Crystals and jewelry. Our friends
great are so great. So wehave all these fun prizes to auction off.
Not auction off. We are doinga raffle, so it's gonna be
really fun. And then the doorsofficially open at seven the show starts.
(04:17):
I think it's seven thirty or eight, and it's outside, and so bring
a jacket and then we're just gonnahave fun. We're gonna party. It's
my actual birthday, but we arecelebrating Brian's two years with the show.
Brian, I want to know whathas been Well, this is probably a
stupid question. What has been thehigh point of these two years? Do
(04:43):
you want to sit over there?The pinnacle? The pinnacle? Let me
think there have been two. Youhave to speak one. Okay, it
was Tuesday, really the hair someporn, Yeah, yeah, oh my
god, I will say the kanuis the first kan This thing was quite
the shock too though. That waspretty That was pretty cool, Okay,
but might have to give it toold Harrison Ford. Now, what was
(05:06):
what has been the worst part aboutevery other week besides the ones with the
I don't know low point? Yeah? Was is there anything like that?
You're you regret saying or you likeyou regret doing answering his phone on his
(05:27):
day off? Are you looking foran apology? I'm just we used to
play this game with the kids,like what was your high and what was
your low today? So I justwanted to get high today, but low.
I'm just saying over the two yearswith the podcast. But anyway,
okay, nothing but highs, nothingbut highs. Well, no, there's
just there's only a couple of highsI can think of, and there's a
lot of load. Do you noticethat both of the highs were me related?
(05:55):
Yeah, Laura has never gotten mehigh. So yeah, because I
don't do that, duh, duh. And you don't know anybody. I
don't know anybody famous. Okay,we have a debate. Oh, by
the way, if you want togo to the party, lorcan after dark
Instagram dms and if we have anytickets left, they're yours, okay,
and otherwise just show up via houseresort. I guess you know, Friday
(06:18):
night. It's gonna be a blastsix o'clock. Okay, Now this we're
going to party like it's uh,nineteen forty two. That's why I'm wearing
my party dress right now. Nineteenforty two. Yeah, the brink during
the middle of the World War two. Yeah. Yeah, Soon we're all
going to go work a shift ifthe munition factory. Yeah. Now this
(06:39):
incensed me. And this is thisis wrong. This is wrong on all
sorts of counts. But I wantto know what your opinion is. A
judge has ruled in Indiana that tacosare indeed sandwiches. Bullshit, No,
(07:02):
and so are burritos. They're nota sandwich. What a dumb, dumb,
They're not a sandwich. Tacos arenot sandwiches. No, sandwiches have
bread. Bread makes a sandwich notnecessarily, okay, but a taco ain't
a sandwich. No. Well,okay, here's the thing. I had
(07:23):
tacos for lunch today. Oh see, I can say two things can be
sandwich together. There's no bread there, Well, what's bread? What if
I get? What if I dolike gluten free bread, that's the bread,
Like Brian and I could sandwich you. No, Listen. There's some
dude that was trying to open ataco shop in a strip mall in Fort
Wayne, and he ran into redtape because the contract limits the type of
(07:46):
restaurants that are allowed in this stripmall, so they could only sell made
to order subway style sandwiches. Sohe went to court and he claimed that
his tacos and his burritos are sandwiches, and so he is allowed to sell
them there. And then the judgesaid yes, and so now he can
open up his a little time.That's the dummies, Okay, I shame
(08:07):
of mine. I hate that guyis such a prick. He went to
the judge just so you can getout of his contract that he already signed.
I'm on, yeah, no,I'm I'm on the I'm happy for
him he gets a tacos, dummy, but I'm not elsewhere. You can't
sign a contract then go to thecourts and be like, I didn't like
the contract I signed. Please redefinetaco so I can. God, if
(08:30):
he would have done his due diligenceand you know, studied at first,
maybe he wouldn't have been such adip ship. But a dummy. We
can all agree though they are notsandwiches and noo no, okay, here's
the thing. If you go toTaco Bell and you get the crunch wrap,
it's kind of like a sandwich.There we're drawn, we're walking the
(08:50):
line. There there's some that's TacoBell where they have Z grade meat.
I want that crunch wrap spring.I am not really, I am not
taking you to get it. Ohcome on, I get the black bean
one. Oh never mind, don'ttake her. We are you down for
that? If it doesn't have meanI wanna go? You don't, but
(09:15):
you're gonna. Oh you're gonna.I'll go to might. I might spring
for mommy for her birthday. Ohmy god, it is one worth three
week Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean god, if all she
wants it Taco Bell, jeezy.You know I'll pay this time because I
got the hairson fore posters, solet me pay it back. Wow,
my person gets seventy five cents each. We could, we could, we
(09:39):
could feed feed ourselves for a weekon seventy five cents of Taco Bell.
You think they're sauce packets are lessthan that? Yeah, totally. You
know what? You know what's expensiveeverything? Well, yeah, Oh my
god, let me go on.Okay, I'm gonna go on an aeric
grant. Oh boy, I liveHow far way do you think I live?
(10:00):
For from the airport a mile anda half. You are much farther
than that, maybe three. Maybekeep talking about fact check it. I
went over the weekend to go seeCharlie and Maya in Portland. Oh,
I know what you're gonna say.And I got home on Monday about I
(10:22):
don't know, two forty Five's whenI needed the Uber. So a PM
on Monday, it's like three milesall right, okay, so I literally
live three miles from the airport.Let me guess how much it was forty
(10:43):
dollars? Just about it was thirtytwo dollars. And so the guy was
telling me, He's like, youknow, because I blurted it out to
the driver, I'm like, whywas this ride to the airport thirteen dollars
and the back from is now thirtytwo? I don't get it. He
goes, that is Uber screwing bothyou and me. He goes, He
(11:07):
goes, I only get twelve dollarsof this, he goes, Uber gets
all the rest, he goes.Everybody's in coots with everybody else, and
then it was making me feel andthen I got supercars. I thought,
it's gonna puke. Listen, soshe can't blame me. Oh my god,
that would be so awesome if youwould have thrown out Oh no,
oh my god, that would havebeen amazing. It's just I it's expensive
(11:30):
to run uber as a company though, But seriously, thirty two dollars.
I mean, I'm thinking, wasis it the time of day? Did
they know that it was? Itwas super packed at the airport. My
question is, what's like the comparabletaxi rates? Like our taxi is more
expensive, cheaper, Like this iswhy I don't take a taxi because they
get so mad. Oh when youtell them that you live three miles away.
(11:54):
Oh yeah, because they're sitting thereat the airport waiting for that big
fare and then I come along.I get in the town, I'm like,
oh, I'm just going up thehill. Oh I've gotten some really
mad people. So I don't Istay away from thirteen bucks. Twelve bucks
bring back taxis. I know,I know totally totally experience. It is
(12:16):
totally experienced, and I just Ijust want to say that I am so
proud of my son. He isjust he has created the most beautiful life
in Portland with his fiance Maya,and he just got a new job,
which is like a big boy jobwith a company car and everything. And
(12:41):
just watching the way that they interactwith each other, I'm like, that
is true love. There's no doubtin my mind that those two people were
made for each other. And theyjust moved into a new house that they're
renting, and they have a littledog. And I'm telling you what,
I'm going to be a grandmother bythe time the next year rolls around.
(13:01):
I guaranteed, I feel it.I bet it. I bet his wedding
is going to be really fun.No, don't And you know what,
I will be Eric well and we'llbe able to talk about it. I'm
still I'm still going go crash ittold you. Do you want to come?
Keep one eye open. I can'tcount. I hear it's at b
(13:22):
yo F wedding. Bring your ownfirecrackers. Oh yeahers b yo R.
Bring your own rage where I'm gonnaobject to everything. It's just so cool
to see your kids. I mean, it's I'm sad not having my kids.
I would love if my kids livedwith me still, I mean,
I'm weird like that. Would youlike me to move in with you?
No, you're too bratty. You'remuch too bratty for my kids were never
(13:48):
bratty like like you're How are wegoing to live together in our old age?
If you think I'm bratty, nowyou're going to grumpier. Oh no,
yeah, because the older you get, the grumpier you can. Sorry,
you signed up for it. Thereare solutions that problem and they all
start with the word vallium rd xanaxor we're going to make you some smoothies
perfect. I don't care. Well, you just rubbed my feet, change
(14:13):
my diaper. Okay, we'll beso doped up gummy bears. It's fine
for Grandpa. I'll be like Laura, I have to go to the never
mind the maiden here quick? Andthen do you want to know are you
guys going anywhere from Memorial Day?Are you going to stay right here?
(14:37):
Right here at your house? Now? Listen a lot. This is the
second most popular destination San Diego.Did you know that No? Number one?
I guess which number one is?For a Memorial Day weekend? Think
about it. It's going to beshite show the Texas Vegas. Think about
(15:01):
the crowds on the sidewalk. Iwouldn't think to go to Vegas Memorial Day.
I wouldn't either. Yeah. Well, a lot of people have Monday
off, so they Oh, let'sgo to Vegas for three days. You
know what I mean? Wait,I can say about anything. I can
say, let's go Disneyland for threedays. Let's go to la for three
you know I'm going. I'm goingthat week, but I'm leaving on Thursday.
(15:22):
Oh yeah, you're going to seeOh that's right, that's right,
Christina Aguilera. Oh you're going tocome home with some stories. It's going
to be really freaking crowded. OhI'm gonna probably are you going to say
somewhere nice? Yeah? Okay,I'm maybe jailed. I'm not sure.
So if you're driving, here's thedeal. Here's when you should drive.
(15:43):
On one, you shouldn't drive becauseI guess a lot of people are going
to be driving. A lot ofpeople are traveling. So here's on Thursday
and Friday. The best times todrive are before eleven o'clock in the morning.
Okay, avoid noon to six pmat all costs. On Thursday and
Friday. Okay, Saturday, you'regood ish maybe hopefully the whole day,
(16:07):
but Sunday and Monday will be psychotic. So the worst times midday and between
three and seven, forget about it. I mean. Also, I would
just say avoid all tourist attractions.And maybe you're San Diego hotspots. Yeah,
I know about your you're a familyand you're a working family, and
you have that day off. Youwant to go do something fun with them
if you're fine. I'm not worryabout the traffic, I know. Just
(16:30):
you know, just stay and chilland watch some really good speaking of driving.
What your car? What's wrong withOh no, don't even go there.
Real quick though, Let's talk aboutour sponsors. Oh of course,
and then we'll go there. Yeah, we need to talk about let's let's
be somebody is going to be suckinga big bag OFDS. Oh my god,
(16:53):
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(19:07):
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and there was a big giant truckthat was shredding all sorts of stuff.
(19:29):
So and the advisors are out theretalking to everybody, shred your birth
certificate or your I don't even knowwhere that is. I told you that
a while ago. Yeah. Okay, so the car what what? Now?
What now? So? Remember thesaga was I got the car back
after they had to detail it andfix the damage they had caused, right,
(19:55):
correct. So when I the verynext day, when I when I
drove the car home, I waslike, why does it still seem like
it's doing what it was doing whenI brought it in? So I call
them. They're like, come back. So I come back and they said,
oh, because I still needed themto address some cosmetic issues, all
(20:18):
these scratches and stuff that were inthe hood. And I'm like, now
that the car was clean after havingnine months off, you can see it
all rap on it. Yeah.One of the things they said was,
I said, what's this right here? And they said, oh, that's
fecal matter from birds. It atethrough the clear coat. Okay. And
I said, okay, so you'regoing to fix that right? Oh?
(20:41):
No, that's a very expensive procedure. And I said, well, it
wasn't here when I brought the carin, so I don't care how much
it costs. You guys are goingto fix it. Yeah, because you
park in a parking streke r Ihave a garage. Yeah. So I'm
like, I'm not No, thiswasn't here when I drove it in.
So I said, also, thecar is like lurching and it's an automatic,
(21:03):
and I go it, it's notsupposed to do that. And they
said, listen, you have atwenty twenty four transmission with an engine that's
a few years old, so it'sgoing to need a minute to merge.
And I'm like, that doesn't soundright now. It doesn't sound right right,
doesn't. But I've never had atransmission go out on a fairly new
(21:26):
car. So I was like,Okay, how long is this am I
supposed to drive it around? Oh? It should? Well? I drive
it around for a week and itjust seemed like it was getting worse.
So I had a friend of minein the car with me, and he
was like, what what is goingon with your car? I thought it
was fixed and I was like yeah, and he goes, oh, it's
(21:47):
not supposed to do that. SoI called the very next day and I
was like, I'm bringing the carin. Okay. So I bring the
car in. They have the headmechanic drive it while I'm sitting in the
path in your seat. How oftendoes it do this? I said,
every time I've driven the car sinceI got it back. Oh, it's
not supposed to do that. AndI was like, well, cal saprize.
(22:10):
You know, so does the factthat going back? Yes, So
this bomb gets dropped. Oh well, you know it's a it's a refurbished
transmission. And I'm like, holdon, oh, I'm like, you
mean I waited almost a year toget my car back, and now you're
(22:32):
telling me that it was a refurbishedtransmission in there. Oh, well it
has all new dealer parts. I'mlike, no, no, that doesn't
mean anything. No wonder it's doingthis. So we go back in and
I'm all, uh uh nope.So they're like, okay, well we're
gonna have to you know. Sonow I've got the corporate side involved.
(22:56):
I have an attorney because because theycalled me on Friday and said, okay,
you got yourself an attorney. Ohyeah. So oh yeah, so
get this. So they my carhas a ten year warranty on it.
So now I'm already down a here. Now they're saying, okay, so
(23:18):
the computer doesn't pick up anything,but we know something's wrong, and I'm
all yeah, because you put arefurbished transmission in so and my car was
a or is a limited edition.So they're like, okay, well we're
trying to fix it. We're tryingto fix it. And I'm all,
trying is not good enough, Likeit either needs to be fixed or you
(23:41):
need to get me a new car. Where's the car now at the dealership?
How long has it been there?A week? So they call on
Friday and they're like, so,yeah, the only other thing we can
do is we're gonna bring in thiscomputer that we hook up to the car
while we're driving it to see ifit gives us any different readings. And
(24:03):
I said and if it doesn't,they're like, well, then you'll have
to call No. I said,no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, I'mnot calling anybody. You guys can do
it because you're the one that didthe work on the car. I'm gonna
give them a new car you gotI was like, give me a new
car. So then they said,well, you know, we're trying to
repair it. We might have toput another transmission in. And I was
(24:26):
like, nope, okay, sowhat is okay? Why did you get
an attorney? Like what's going tohappen? Because they're like, well,
you have to allow us to tryand fix the car. And I'm like,
well you already I want a newcar, okay. So I said,
so what you mean to tell meis if it needs another transmission,
I'm going to get another refurbished transmissionand I'm going to have to wait almost
(24:51):
another year for it. So I'mnow down two years on my warranty that
they won't extend. So I'm like, I'm getting an attorney. And I
called the attorney's office and there I'llsend us everything you have. This sounds
like it. So you're are yousuing for like like like emotional oh anything
(25:11):
or any of that kind of stuff. Initially I wasn't asking for any money.
All I wanted him to do wasextend the least to extend the warranty.
And since they refused to do it, now it's game on, motherfuckers.
Oh my imagine Eric gets rich fromsuing a car manufacturer. I know
(25:33):
they mess with the wrong you're suingenough the amount of what a new car
would cost or more than that.No, I just want them to replace
the car, to replace the car. Okay, well then that's reasonable.
That is so reasonable. That'll amountto damages though, you'll that'll just be
a monetary value. So but tackon some extra, yeah, tack on
you. You should tack on emotionallike distress and stuff, because it didn't
(25:59):
emotionally stress. Yes, but it'sjust stressed. Well, yeah, behalf
of us family. Yes, we'vebeen dealing with this. I'm like,
do you know the stress that thisis put on my wife? She can't
have children anymore because of it.She is bone dry because of this.
Her ovary fell out by my frontdoor right after the car back by exactly.
(26:23):
All right, we're gonna play what'syour Price? We love this game?
Five million dollars. But I needto get the pads, the little
pads, so talk about you mightjust say it. I switch cameras back
and forth, and okay, Idon't think it adds anything to write it
down. It's kind of funny tolike flip it around. But all right,
school one at the time. Yea. Each person will say it,
(26:45):
okay, great, okay, let'shave a little bit of music. Put
on anything, maybe the absolutely god, you are so accommodating. Brain.
I tried my best. He's ahe is a brat too. This is
a high point. Let's see boomand No, this is too creepy and
(27:07):
scary. That was for like theghost honey one. No, not yet,
not yet. We haven't done thebit yet. Come on, okay,
here we go, Come on.I was about to get up.
I was about to get up,but here we go. I can layer
(27:30):
them. Oh wow, okay,what's your price? Drink a cup of
another person in this room sweat?A full cup? Oh no, oh
god, so either a cup ofmice sweat or a cup of Brian sweat.
Full thing? No, A milliondollars No, but okay, I
(27:55):
want you to be realistic. Don'tjust say, okay, I'm not drinking
anybody's a bottle. It's just sweat. It'd be salty. Five grand oh
no, five grands a lot ofmoney because you can't. Can you catch
anything from sweat? Just gross?Okay, you know what at this plate?
Fifty dollars. She's like just toget me back to even on the
(28:18):
checking negative. I do it forone thousand dollars, I know, fifteen
hundreds. I do it for fifteenhundred. By the way, I mean
Eric going to go to Taco Bellby ourselves because we don't hang out with
poorsy Oh stop it, stop it. Oh my god. What's your price
to let a world champion box orpunch you in the stomach? Oh that
(28:40):
can kill you? Oh hell no, yeah, that can kill you.
Well, it's not going to killyou, but it's gonna hurt. How
much? What's my recovery time?Looking like I don't have details? Ten
million? This is this under athousand? Thank you? He's more real
times infinity. Yeah, that's thing. Oh my god, that it's not
gonna kill us. This that Iwill put that on? Will it rupture
(29:04):
my spleen'n? It's just gonna hurt, Like, Oh, it's just gonna
hurt. It's gonna hurt, it'snot gonna I'm not gonna be hospitalized.
Oh then it's not that hard ofa punch. No, I'm gonna say
one hundred thousand. I think Iwould do it for seventy five hundred Okay,
I just want to realize a championshipboxer, one punch to your stomach
(29:26):
probably would kill you. It's notdefinitely it would oh my boos? Yeah
yeah, okay. What's your priceto surgically attach your pinky to your ring
finger? What does that even mean? Just to make one super long millions?
(29:51):
Oh? That way? I don'tknow, Maybe this way or maybe
this way I get my million,I'd chop it off. Would you reattach
your little pinky? Then of courseyou're pinky to your ring finger? Oh?
These two? Oh yes, Iknow what that means. I think
this, I think this like this, it's like the shocker. Well it
(30:15):
is that. I think you're likefloating. Okay, this is not a
gang. That's the shocker for somebodythat's had the shocker like several times.
Oh looks like he's had the shockerwhen it's physically impossible for him to get
shocked like that. Kidding? Yeah, all right, well we'll move on.
(30:36):
What's your price? No, thinkabout it. Don't blurt out ten
dollars, isn't why I look whatI blurted out one billion dollars? Now,
be real? You know you gettingyou getting that crunch burrito is becoming
thinner and thinner and thinner. Ijust gonna get her a packet of hot
(31:02):
I'm going to get a drink,and I'm gonna get cinnamon balls of cinnamon
balls. Oh yeah, you musthave found money since there's a restriction left
my wallet at someplace that I care. I'm getting a two pack. I
might even get a four pack.I'll do the ordering. That's yeah,
I think Brian should order. Howmuch is your water? Like it's free?
(31:22):
I'm like, oh, that's toomuch. You must have pepsi with
Taco Bell No, never, Okay, I'm a coke person. I like
Coca Cola better than pepsi. Butbut when you eat a taco belt,
you need to have a pepsi withit? Does It's so wrong about this
how the food slide out of yourbuttthole easier? It just is what it
(31:47):
is. No, let me turnyou on something. If you go to
Taco Bell, you have to getMountain Dew Baja blasts. And that's not
just me. That is a culturalthing you must get. But why because
that's the only place that has Bahablasts. You just have to get it.
Okay, But what is is itdelicious? Ever? It? No?
You should get it? Throw uptaco bell? Oh, let's do
(32:08):
it? Why are you going tothrow up? If you have a baja
blast? You might? I might, But if I throw up, it's
gonna be the best thing. Ever. You're not gonna throw up? All
right? No? Here throw Ohmy god? What's your price? Yes?
To pierce your belly button? Oh? Ten grand? I'm taking it
right out afterwards too. Actually Ido it for a grand. I'm taking
(32:28):
it right out afterwards, like Pierce, give me my check. It's coming
out. The lowest you go isthe is a thousand? Otherwise the same
worth doing three grand? Okay?Okay, so now are you being more
realistic? I would do it forone hundred bucks? Like, what's the
point of It's just for a hundredbucks. That's not that much pain,
you know, I mean, Iknow for you, one hundred bucks will
go a long way. But rightnow, that's a lot of taco bell.
(32:50):
Okay, like a fear for threedays, we're going to pretend that
we are all single individuals, rightfor this question? Okay, what's your
price to legally marry a stranger?Can I divorce them? Yeah? Can
I have them sind a prenup beforehand. I don't. Probably, Oh,
(33:15):
it's probably think about like married atfirst million? One hundred million, really
one hundred million? Yeah you could, like you could, Laurie. Here's
the thing. I'm in a committedrelationship. I know. I said we're
not. We're not during this question. There is no world. There is
no world that I exist and thatI'm not in said relationship. So I
(33:37):
reject the premise. You wouldn't understandbecause you're as dry as desert. But
I'm going to get a what shouldI do? Hey, if you want
your taco bell? Oh wow,this is your this is your That was
a carrot that just got dangled infront of you. Okay, look at
(33:57):
me, look at me. Youwant taco bell. I'm getting taco bell.
And you know what, and readthe next question. I would do
it for five million. I'm goingto get I'm going to get a party
pack of tacos too great, andthen they'll say anything else. I say,
yeah, taking off the last tenthings. No, I'm going to
(34:20):
get some Simon twists. She justwants lunch for a week. Yeah,
that's exactly what it is. Somebean burritos and you'll get done ordering.
I'll say, great, that'll beon two separate checks. IF's like,
Laura, did you cater a partyhere? There's just like ten weeks worth
of taco bell in there. No, I forgot what I was saying.
McDonald's is expensive. Have you beento McDonald's. No, because McDonald's gross.
(34:43):
No, their fries aren't. Hello, No, the fries are the
grossest thing. No. All right, So for me right now to legally
marry a stranger, I do itfor five dollars three the license of the
filing fee. I think i'd doit for fifty grand. You do it
(35:04):
for less? Why would you buyyourself? So? Sure? You do
it for ten grand? What's thebig deal? I can always just get
an an moment or divorce. Goget half of it. Some old guy
from like Dubai will pay you fivemillion dollars to marry you. Oh,
that'd be great. See. Willyou find that guy for me? Sure?
Let me. Yeah. By theway, I was down in Seaport
(35:28):
Village and there was a yacht thatwas parked there. Guess how much the
yacht was? Eight million dollar?Fifty million? Yeah, yachts are really
expensive. Who it's some German.Oh it's a German millionaire. Oh my
god. Because you also it's ayacht, and then you also need full
(35:50):
time staff. So guess how muchannually it costs to run this boat.
Probably like two and a half million, twenty five million to run it.
To run it, so he mustgo all over the place use it a
lot. Hey, maybe this isthe one. Let's go down to Sepont
Village and listen you you look likea mermaid right now. So let's just
(36:14):
urt you on the end of theboat. We'll wet you down and you
can be like, hey, I'mcheating. Oh my god. Let's go.
We'll go there on our way backfrom Taco bell I would marry a
stranger for as little as ten grada'll swing by and still have Evans mermaid
tail. Well, we'll dunk youin water. Oh my god, that
would be amazing. Oh my god. And then you could just perch right
(36:35):
on the edge of the thing.Or he'll like hunt you for like the
trophy. Okay, there's a lotgoing. Well, there's like you put
we're supposed to give that to somebody. Brother, Yeah, well that will
probably get sweaty. It's just crumpledOh okay, I see the sweat from
here. Now, what's your priceto go over to a guy using a
(36:58):
urinal and share it the same urinal? Is it somebody I know? If
there's somebody I know, I doit for free. I'd be hilarious.
No stranger, No. What Iwould want to do is like stand kind
of behind him and like pee overhis shoulder. Oh my god, that
would be hilarious. Well what wouldbe so wrong? Is it just so
(37:21):
because you're really close to don't getclose? Yeah, you don't want to
be so especially Yeah, oh god. I remember this. This was years
and years and years ago, anda buddy of mine and I went to
a bar and he had to goto the bathroom and comes out and he's
like, don't use the bathroom andI was like why and he goes,
it's a trough with a mirror infront of it. Oh, so everybody
(37:45):
peed in this trust. It wasn'tlike separate, so you could see everybody.
Everybody's it's ding dong. Bathrooms wereuncomfortable. I went to Stone Brewery
over the weekend. I went tothe bathroom and they have like a line
of urinals, but they don't havethe dividers, but some places don't have
that, so it's whatever. Buttheir urinals are waist high and cut off.
(38:06):
There's not like that little like wallyou can lean into it all.
It's literally just like a pot almostlike stylie. So like you're just like
pissing into a pot in the wall. So there's no protection. So you
just have to mind your business andkeep your eyes down. Okay. So
what's your price? It's one hundredgrand. Also you could be charged with
like sexual assault. I know,yeah, I'm gonna oh gosh, none,
(38:28):
that's getting me real quick. Ohnow you want to make up ruleves
when I ask questions, you liketo stop it. You're asking my question.
I'm going to say, like onehundred grand, A hundred grand,
okay, okay, And I can'tanswer that one okay, okay, I'll
ask your ticket is bigger than everybodyis in this room. I know if
I was a dude, i'd haveI'd have a giant dick. It would
be like a John Holmes, thankyou, thank you. What's your price
(38:51):
to go into a stall that someone'susing in like squat above them in peece
with their legs go. That's noteven close to the same thing. I
mean, it's like the same thing, but it's a that is a whole
uh yoga, No, it wouldbe really So let's say we're at the
AHAs and you have to bring youhave to go to the bathroom really bad.
(39:15):
The line for the women's bathroom isginormous. So you go into the
men's room. Okay, you kickopen a stall door and there's some guy
taking it down. Yeah, youjust pull up your mermaid dress and just
sit on his lap and pee.Wow, I'll give me some rules easier,
don't You won't pee on him,okay, but you will peep through
(39:37):
his legs. Okay, and heand he is. He is doing the
deed while I'm doing just peeing.No, he's doing the deed. Makes
it sound weak. No, he'sin the stall, so he's pooping.
He just likes to sit down.He likes to sit down, sit down.
He's a weird guy. Oh,let me think a stranger men's bethroom
(39:58):
his lap on his CROs well.I would hover. I'm a hoverer helicopter.
It's too tall. You have tosit, you have to make contact
because it's too tall. This isterrible. Whatever, I'll give you.
I'll give you a caveat you canhover, but you'll pee on his leg
a little. Or you can sitand you won't pee on him at all.
Oh yeah, this is so weird. Okay, really realistically, realistically,
(40:24):
what's your price? And which whichone? Do you pe on him?
Or do you just sit on himand pee through him? Do you
give him a golden shower or justa lap dance? I sit on him
and pee through his legs? Forwhat price? Seventy five thousand? Let
me make some calls. Yeah,nobody wants that. I want to see
that. Okay, what's your priceto heckle a church minister? Oh?
(40:47):
A dollar? That would be awful, but that would be kind of funny.
No, it would be okay.Think about the church that maybe your
family goes to and you go,you roll up, you roll up.
Then I'll do it for free,roll up and uh and you start going
yeah, oh yeah, God isn'treal or whatever? So stupid. I
(41:10):
don't know, how would you hackleif I had to say those words A
ba jillion infinity amount of dollars?Because that's awful. I don't know,
that's so weird. I don't don'tOkay, I feel like no man money
because the lasting impacts of that areforever. Okay, yeah, all right,
all right? What's your price?Then? To clean a cat's for
(41:30):
with your tongue like they do anentire cat the full time with your tongue
clean a cat ten thousand, Noway more I do it. You have
to clean the whole cat. Butthe well, what do they do they
the cat? Oh my god,when cats are cleaning themselves, they don't
(41:51):
like their but do that put itsleg way up in the air and oh,
I don't know, I've never hadOh yeah, oh can I change
my rate? What's your rate?I want the price? I'm going to
say seven hundred and fifty thousand.I will say you get one purel wipe
beforehand, however you want to useit. If you want to stare seven
(42:15):
hundred and fifty thousand, I woulddo it for five thousand dollars. Jes,
have some respect. You're a humanbeing. You deserve more than flicking
fur. Who cares? And whichI wiped off with purel first, there's
still a risk of god or ringworm. Oh my god, you get a
(42:38):
coal? I I am oh madcountry yuck. Okay, then what's your
price to jump head first into apile of warm horse manure head first?
Honestly, I probably do like tengrand. That's the lowest you'd do it
for because you could immediately get outand take a shower. Come on,
(43:00):
maybe five eric twenty five grand.I'd be worried that smell doesn't come out,
That's what I'd be worried about toof course it does. Well,
you take a couple of showers.Heard of a skunk horseman horse poop?
Right, Yes, I've heard ofthis. It's horse. Come okay,
horse three thousand dollars cross. No, I would do it for that.
(43:22):
I would do it for two hundredbucks. Yeah, she's like, oh
god, oh I would do itfor twenty five hundred dollars. Well,
that's pretty twenty five hundred. Look, I would just go ahead. First,
I'd have it on my I'd belike, oh my god, I'm
going to die, and then thenit would be washed off quick with a
(43:44):
host. I only have one thingto say. This is why you're in
the negative and you're checking it out, hey, because I I you are
really low balling yourself. I know, Okay, what's your price to travel
across the country in the trunk ofa car. Oh, prisoner, No,
no, you're just like the mafiacome from. No, Oh,
(44:07):
I get me let out occasionally.Yeah, to pe and like when you
go eat. Yeah, but youbut you are when you were driving thousand?
How long is the trip it's across country? Well, how long
are like, how far are wedriving each day? How long? Any
days it's gonna be. Oh,four are important. If they're driving like
a mile an hour, it's gonnatake like a year. Yeah, four
(44:29):
days, okay, by twenty grandYeah, I do it for fifty Lord,
like ten me think I can makemy own like little area in the
trunk. It's a four door sedan. It's not a big trunk. It's
mafia style. It is good fella'sstyle. Like, so I'm like a
fetal position. Yeah, person,Well the loaner car that I'm driving right
(44:52):
now has a huge trunk. SoI'll tell you what. We go to
Taco Bells to day, We'll putyou back there. Do you want to
do that? Oh my god,that's so illegal. No, let me
hear it. Let me no,it's not. Yes, it is,
Oh my god, it's not fetalposition. Okay, But then you can't
order anything. Wait, you guyslike give me well, oh my god,
can you imagine if we went throughand you were just like tapping on
(45:14):
the trunk. How much how muchdo you guys give me to do that?
Nothing? Huh no, No,nothing's podcast fun. You get you
get a free crunch burger or whateverit is out of it. I'm not
getting arrested for suspected kidnapping, justfor you to have fun on the way
to Taco Bell. If we getpulled over, it's still illegal. By
the way, it's a ticket.Lea. Oh, I'm not getting it.
(45:36):
I'll eat the ticket. Okay,Oh yeah with what No, you
can't eat the ticket. He hasto eat the ticket because he's driving.
Yeah, hell no, come on, it'll be fun for me, for
all of us. For you havea cargo, lock yourself. I'll lock
you in the trunk. And Idon't have a jeep. It's not the
same. Okay, we'll lock youin somebody else's trunk and then go to
talk about Oh my god, youknow, it would be really funny those
(45:57):
to get a picture of her inthat evening gown, like laying in my
I know we should do that.We should told you. Okay, we'll
do one more. Okay, we'llend on this. Okay music please,
Yeah, I got you. Thatwas a beautiful choir. Spend the entire
(46:19):
day at a nude beach with yourparents. Oh oh yeah, they're all
They're alive, they're alive. Wellmean, Eric has to imagine. My
dad's a lot. So we're yourparents are naked, but naked. You're
naked. You were laying on towelsat the beach for a full day of
(46:43):
beach activities, volleyball, frisbee,You're going in the water, you're boogie
boarding, you're doing all the beachfun things. Twenty grand oh my god,
maybe think about it. Fifty ohmy god, maybe fifty seventy five,
five million, one hand. I'mone hand. I go it's like
(47:06):
if you could do it, butI go, no, you couldn't know.
Laura would do it for free.No, like one hundred and seventy
five bucks. No, I'm justtrying to think. I need to visualize.
My mom had a fit when shesaw me in bike shorts one time.
Really a well, we get yourpackage is huge. She probably like
(47:30):
she got so many. I betshe did, because you wear those tights,
Erica, big old dick out ofhere. Oh my, bikes to
her house, and when I showedup the front door, she's like,
why do you do it house?A, yeah, he got a big
one, and B he doesn't wearunderwear, so his poor mother probably saw
your She shows up with the likejust like, oh my. Likely she
(47:52):
refused to go anywhere with me untilI went home and changed probably the veins
or even outlined oh gosh. Yeah, she was not happy. Visual Lee
was not happy. She wasn't havingit. No, Lee would not hope.
Did you change your waist? Okayfor me a full day naked?
(48:14):
And Jenny, what about Jenny andyour brother? And oh my god,
let's just say parents. Let's justsay Charlie and Evan. Oh my god,
let's just let's just say parents.God, this is getting really all
right, all right, okay,just your parents, just your parents.
(48:38):
I would do it for twenty fivethousand dollars. You do it for less,
I know, right, I betless than five grand, especially now
that she has her en hands.But she'd be like, she'd be like
seven dollars and fifty cents. Ido it for grand Yeah, She's like,
(49:00):
I'm gonna get my money out ofthese things. Oh my god,
I'm gonna turn up profit. Butnot not the whole family. Not my
sister, not my brother, andnot my kids. Please okay, just
my parents, Okay, ad inyour sister and brother, not your kids.
He's like, She's like, fine, two grand I'm doubling it.
(49:22):
Oh my god, that would beyeah, Okay, I do you know
what? It's shocking all around.Let's let's just let's just be real.
Jenny Eric, my mom and mydad naked with me on the beach,
doing beach activities all day. We'reat Black Speech. I do it for
(49:47):
five thousand dollars. Oh, Itake my head. But I'm going to
just say I want to go.God, you guys, this is going
to be some party. Laura's goingto be naked. We're going to be
a via house on Friday at six. If you still want a ticket,
please d m us or please,I'm going to Is there a therapist that's
(50:12):
watching? Thank you for watching,My God, sure to subscribe to us
on allable social media channel. Happybirthday, Oh my god, Happy sixtieth
birthday you guys. Anyways, wereally appreciate you guys watching thanks for listening.
We'll see you next time. Thankyou. We're going to Taco Bell
Okay, all right, I'll seeyou guys next time. Mike, did
(50:36):
you turn it off? Anyways?Bye bye, Love you,
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