June 25, 2024 • 51 mins
We're back from vacation and we hope you missed us as much as we missed you. Today we'll tell you what we've been up to and of course Erik has another crazy story from his vacation. Laura tells us what she did for her birthday (Producer Bryan has some thoughts on it) and of course there is always some new celebrity news for us to discuss. Also, we bring back the Mystery Sound game, be sure to let us know what you think it is. Keep an ear out for more details on our next event, a standup comedy routine from each of us! As always, Love Your Podcast!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:12):
Oh my gosh. Hello, welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. It feels
so good to say that. Ifeel like we've been gone for two months
or longer. I'm Laura Kane.This is Eric M. Gosh and we
have producer Ryan back in the lastThat's why we've been gone for a couple
of weeks, because we can't runthe show without our Brian's laying in the
(00:37):
sun. I can't wait to hearabout it. Like a little seashell.
We have a lot to tell you, guys about what we've been doing the
last two weeks. Two weeks we'vebeen off, so a lot has happened
in those two weeks. I'm sureBrian has stories from his vacation is fabulous
vacation. You have stories from justlife. I have tons and guess what's
(00:59):
back? What? Okay? Okay? First of all, hello everybody,
Thank you so much for tuning inon Instagram live and on YouTube live and
listening and watching after the fact.We appreciate it. And so what is
back? Is the secret sound?Oh yeah, we did this a long
(01:19):
time ago on the podcast years ago, where we play a sound and you
guys have to guess what the soundis whoever guesses the sound. Oh,
we didn't come up with the prize. Oh like okay, okay, let's
let's talk it out right now.Okay. Money is always good. Money's
always good money. Who doesn't wantto prize money? Prize? You don't
(01:41):
have any money? Well, threeof us, we're gonna have to come
up with three of us. Iget money for coming here. I know
it was her idea. Hey,buddy, hey, partner, Hey,
co host, ponying up fifty bucks. All pony up fifty bucks. It'll
(02:01):
be one hundred dollars because it's ado free. Hey, that's Laura's last
fifty bucks. So something there.Here you go. This is how much
I love our listeners and I wantthem to win. Oh I don't want
money. I want gold. Wellyou have some probably gold thing in your
bedroom somewhere, don't you. Ihave some gold stuff, but I'm not
willing to part with it means stuffsomething to me? How about a hundred
(02:22):
bucks? All right? Whoever guessesit correctly, You can guess it by
dming us. You can guess itby just sending us a message here.
If you're watching live, you canemail us. Laura caane ad at Gmail.
You can. There are many waysyou can get a hold of us
and guess that sound. Yes,So if you're on Instagram live, I
(02:43):
would suggest you maybe pop over toYouTube live because that way you'll be able
to hear it. That's right forthe first time. But I have a
feeling we're going to be playing ita lot because it's it's gonna be I
think it's gonna be hard to guess. I hope, I think it will
be. Okay, So here wego. Here is our Oh that was
sweet. She doesn't want any money, she's just happy we're back. Oh.
(03:06):
Well, when she guesses it andlet's just suck up answer and she
guesses it right, she's gonna wampout money, all right. Here we
go, see your sound twenty twentyfour. Here it is. That's it.
(03:27):
Let's do a one. Let's doit again. It's Laura dragging her
phone across the ground. No,is that was that your first? Guy?
Honestly? No, Oh, I'mnot actually guessing unless wait, if
I guess it right, I'll getthat underbox. You're not gonna guess it
for this thing, even airs Ialready have one hundred. Was funny.
(03:51):
Laura's ovary rolling across my wooden florias, my last egg, my last viable
egg. So do you have anydo you have any like thoughts about what
it could be? Kind of soundslike velcrow, something dragging. Okay,
let's just do it all right,one more time. Weren't time you secret
sound? One more time? Herewe go. Oh geez. Okay,
(04:16):
sounds like you're running your hand offor running your hand across something semi soft.
I don't know, but guess what. You wouldn't get to play,
but it's fun that you're guessing.But I'm not going to say if you're
right or wrong. Yeah, no, I know. She's like some of
the bitch. His first guess wasno rules, you can't play. Yeah,
(04:36):
you know what. You don't getto guess anymore. Okay, so
that's the secret sound. We'll playthat until somebody guesses. And I remember,
if I remember correctly, it waslike a long time before somebody guessed,
oh yeah, what the original secretsound was, and it took like
months it did, and finally somebodywon and they want something good. Okay,
(04:58):
So let's talk about what we've beendoing for the last two weeks before
we get into our sponsors. Iwant to talk about. Let's do so
much. The reason we were gonefor two weeks is because mister Jones had
a fancy ass vacation with his familia. Did I a place that I've always
(05:23):
wanted to go? I cannot evenwait to hear about it. Where were
you for the last two weeks?I actually we might want to do sponsors
for us because I have a littleIt might be a little bit of longer
one because I also brought pictures.Go ahead, well let's say that.
Yeah, well we have Laoya CosmeticSurgery Center and we have capital growth in
Yes, we will get to themin a second. I've just been they
(05:43):
can wait. Well, I justwant I got to hear about this vacation.
Okay. I went to Turks andCaicos for five days. Also was
in North Carolina for fourist days.It's great. It is stupidly humid and
hot. Oh bye, Yeah,no, it's bad. I'm sorry.
But the water is like clear ascan be and as warm as can be.
(06:06):
The water is very clear and verylike just walk right into it,
no problem, what I want.Yeah. Sand, the sand is annoyingly
soft. Actually, it makes itincredibly difficult to walk in because you take
one step and you like you sinkup to your ankles in it. Oh
that's done for you. No,I have the lower body strength to pull
yourself out. No. Like itlike it hurts the bottom of your feet
(06:29):
hurt. Like just the walk fromlike the bottom of the beach back to
the top is like genuinely a workoutand it hurts the botmb of your feet.
Rough. Actually, poor guy wasdone. I would not I would.
I would tough it out. Ithink I would tough it out.
Yeah, I suffered a lot.Did you stay in an all inclusive resort
time place? We're definitely smaller resorton the block because we're also right next
(06:50):
door to the Ritz Carlton, whichis incredibly expensive but very nice. Oh
yeah, so it was. Yeah, it was very nice and nice pool
actually, because the water there isincredibly salty, like stupidly salty, so
salty. Is actually really difficult todive under the water because it's so dense.
Did you go snorkeling? And Idid. I did, And I'll
show you some pictures in a second. Uh, which is fun until you
(07:13):
get salt water. You're like,you know, one hundred feet from the
shore and you get salt water inyour eye and it burns like no other
because it's so salty. Oh mygod, I'm so sad. I'm crying.
It Really it was really rough.It was I struggled a lot,
and it's something you really got nakedand afraid. It's a great time.
It's a little funny because they alldrive on the left side of the road
there, and there are also notraffic lights, so it's a little that's
(07:35):
a madness, great place. It'sa little bit of madness. Actually is
Was it crowded? Was it?Did you go on an excursion? Yeah,
I also talked about that second.It wasn't. I wouldn't say it's
crowded. And apart from the thesingles like Long Street, all the resorts
are on. It's actually it's athird world country. It's pretty pot fish
(07:55):
and it's incredibly expensive, more thanSan Diego. Really oh really, yeah.
I think milk was like sixteen bucksa gallon or something, oh maybe
twelve. It was a lot forthe tour. Listen, that's nothing for
the grocery store. That's nothing formoney bags. Cane here that I spend
thirty dollars on a Boba I would. I wouldn't. Jerks and Caicos I
(08:16):
would. Yeah, all right.Anyways, I brought a couple of pictures,
a couple of these from snorkeling,A couple of just from the beach
here is Oh wow, see that'show I imagine it. Look at those
just that water. I want tobe in that clear blue water. I'm
craving that so much the more.Oh wow, that's cool. See this
(08:37):
is where all the celebrities go,Turks and Caicos starling. Oh there were
just offshore. There were a couplelike five hundred million dollar yachts like just
out right out there. Beyonce andprobably jay Z just hanging out there.
Oh really Yeah. We went tolike the east west side of the island
where all the houses are and allthe yachts are parked out front, and
(08:58):
it was something, do the housesare they nice? Uh? They are
pretty nice, not crazy nice,but they're like twelve to fourteen million cheese
And you can tell by the yachtparked out front. So of those pretty
blue fish, that water is justcrystal. That really really cool photo.
Try my best I brought my GoProso I had some fun. Wow,
(09:18):
it was stupidly difficult to get someof these photos because, like, you
know, some places, it's liketwenty feet downs. I'm trying to dive
to the bottom and I look,for the life of me, can barely
get beneath the water because it's sodense and so salty. It's like the
dead sea. Could you is itfloatable? Like, oh, yeah,
you can float almost on top ofthe water. Oh wow, that's oh
that's really pretty. Yeah, thatwater is everything to me. This is
(09:41):
right outside of like, this isthe beach outside of resort, which was
actually the most boring beach we wentto. Did you drink a lot?
I? The pool had a tikibar right outside of it, and so
that was kind of nice, butI didn't drink it. Does it take
to get there from North Carolina onlyto like two and a half hours really
(10:01):
from here probably a long time.So and then this is actually interesting.
This is a kayak tour of amain Mangrove Bay that is about it's a
giant sandbar that's only underwater during hightide, and it's only about a foot
and a half deep, So you'rekayaking like a foot and a half deep
water, but you can see sharksand like sea turtles and oh I want
to do that. See that water, that clear water is just yeah,
(10:24):
this part was really cool, somecool stuff. Then this is this actually
is from the Ritz Carlton. Didyou sneak into the risk of Carlton?
I walked right in. Oh didyou go in the pool and stuff?
No? I didn't. That poolwas really nice. It was beautiful.
It's like two grand and nine.Oh my god, it is really nice
though. And then last I tookthis one, I think the last day.
(10:46):
Oh wow, look at that beautifulblue sky against the beautiful blue water.
It's just the way you'd picture Turksand caicos a place like it is
a little bit now, I willsay, because I've also been to Hawaii,
there's a little bit more to doin It's actually not much to do
here besides on the beach. Soafter like, you know, fourist days,
you're like, okay, I couldprobably go now really well, because
(11:09):
you can. We sat on thebeach like all day for like at least
one of the days, and thenyou'll you know, it's great. Then
you're like, okay, what dowe do now though? For the rest
of the four days, So wedid like that the kayaking tour, and
that was great. But it's definitelyit's one of those things where it's just
go off outside the resort. There'snot much because it is fun. Let's
(11:31):
see your face. You look alittle tan, like a little bit.
You have a little bit more color, definite, a little more. I
was wondering, come back, Oh, you should see my my wrists because
I was the kayaking tour. Iwas wearing a rash guard like up to
my up to my wrist, andI forgot somehow to not put sunscreen on
the top of my hands, sothose got burnt to a crisp. So
that was fun. Oh my gosh, Well do you have fun with your
(11:54):
family? See my sister graduate sister? Actually, oh, well, that
it's great. I'm really happy thatyou got to do that, and I'm
glad that you have fun. Maybesomeday you can go. Probably, No,
I am going to somewhere with thewater is warm and clear, where
there's huts on sticks, where it'slike the Maldives or something. That's where
(12:16):
I'm going. I'm gonna be honest, I want to go on those huts
on the sticks in the water wherethere's the floor is made of. There's
the problem like all those Pacific islands, is that they are so stink and
flat and they are all just dirtand sand. There is like they are
the most boring looking places outside thebeach. It's all about the water for
me, and I don't care.I just want to sit my butt down
(12:37):
and do nothing. It is allabout the water for you. It's about
lots of sunscreen. Also, theUV index out there is something I've never
felt before. I mean, youcould burn like fifes. Oh my gosh,
Eric, Yes, what did youdo these last two weeks? Anything
exciting? I worked? Uh huh? I went and I saw Furiosa.
(13:03):
Oh no, I talked to you. That was right now you saw?
I saw, Oh you saw.I'm here. I'm sorry I left right,
We're right before I left, Isaw for Yosa. So what do
you think of that? I suffer? Yes, it was after you left.
I saw it and I liked ita lot. It's good Fury Road,
but no, but it was reallygood. And then I just saw
(13:24):
did you just see perform? DoI have to remind you know? But
the other movie that I saw wasBad Boys, Ride or Die, and
it was good boring. I wentand saw Ellen DeGeneres. I saw her
last stand up tour and she wasperforming at at the Balboa Theater. Oh
really, she's down here. Wasshe funny? Never struck me. I
(13:46):
never thought she was. Say no, her stand up is different, it's
not. It was sold out,and I think a lot of people went
to see it as a novelty becauseof the contravers that happened that caused her
to ender her show early. SoI think there was a lot of people
that went just to see if shewould say something, and she did.
(14:09):
Did she make jokes about herself beingmean or toxic workplace jokes? Yeah,
and she did say she said,you know, I might be a lot
of things, but I'm not mean. And you know what it did to
her, what it did to herpartner, So she got serious something.
Yeah. Yeah, And I mean, would you pay to see it again?
(14:31):
No? Oh okay. I waslike, she was never that funny
to me. She's a good personality. But yeah, I thought she was
really good on her talk show.There's some people that their stand up just
is so different. And oh,speaking of stand up, we're doing it,
guys. Oh god, I'm alreadydone. I'm proud of you.
(14:56):
Okay. So here's what's going on. Side note, I'm not ten,
I know, I'm just saying.Side note. We're doing the standoun Yeah,
okay, this, we're doing astand up comedy routine, the three
of us, and we're gonna doa contest, and whoever loses, we're
gonna have a vote, and whoeverloses has to perform that set at an
open night mic somewhere. Everybody votefor Laura. I might be the funniest
(15:20):
one, who knows. I might. I think Brian probably will be.
We know you won't be the funnyone. I'm not the funny barely laugh
at anything. Yeah, well youlaugh at you barely laugh at jokes.
So comedians don't always make jokes.They talk about situations and make them funny.
Comedians are funny though. Anyway,I'm proud of you Eric for working
(15:41):
on that already, because you werethe hesitant one. Thank you, mommy.
Okay, so that's coming up.I said I got it done.
I didn't say I was going toperform it. Yeah, he's gonna he's
gonna do that and then he's gonnawin, of course, Oh my god,
he's going to be the darling ofthe stand up circuit. I could
never stand. So, oh we'reback. We're back on your shore.
(16:02):
We all tailor back to Yes.So you're going to love this, Brian.
So in line the people I wentwith Yes, So we were first
in line because it was a nophones performance, so you had to lock
your phones in these bags like theydo it for you. So the show
(16:23):
started at seven point thirty. Thedoors opened at six thirty, so we
were there at like six fifteen,and we we wound up being the first
in line. And this woman comesup kind of to the side of me,
and you know that they've got itlike roped off, and she kind
(16:45):
of stares at me and then looksdown and doesn't say anything. And so
she she doesn't say a word thewhole time. We're waiting for them to
and they're kind of messing around,and then they they're like, okay,
well open the gates, so theythey do, and the minute they walk
over to start pulling the thing open, she looks at me and starts to
(17:08):
just fall forward. Oh oh,this woman doesn't. I'm like, oh
my god. So I reach outand I grab her and I'm like,
are you okay, and she goes, I don't feel good. Oh hell
no, oh hell no. Theonly thing I'm thinking in my mind is
oh, thank god you were notthere. So these two women that were
(17:30):
behind her come rushing over, andthe one woman just took control. Like
I'm still holding onto her, andthis woman is grabbing onto the thing that
they were gonna pull and she's holdingonto it, and all of a sudden,
she starts to go down and thewoman goes, she's going down,
(17:51):
and I'm all, oh yeah,And so they one of the security people
come over and they're like, geta wheelchair, get some water. And
while they're waiting, you know thatthe one of the security people, you
know, a man and a woman. They're like, ma'am, you know,
did you have any water? Youknow? She's like I don't know.
And then she goes, I'm gonnathrow up. Holy And at this
(18:15):
point, I'm all because I wasdressed nice, and I'm all, oh,
no, let her go. Iwas like, they have a hold
of her, like, and theywheel over one of the big trash cans.
No, and so they stand herup and she's just all and I'm
like, oh my god, I'mall, can I go in, I
(18:36):
would left. That's almost worse tome than the actual act, like that
when somebody goes, I think Ifeel sick, Like I think I'm gonna
be sick. Oh my god,Like that makes me so freaked out.
I start sweating. And you know, at this point, there were so
many people helping her that I wasjust like, I'm just I'm out of
here. So that's not the worstpart. Oh well, So you go
(19:02):
in and there they've got the musicpumping and everything, and everybody's kind of
filing in and stuff. And Iwasn't able to sit with my friends because
I bought my ticket at the lastminute, so they were all sitting together.
But then I wound up being inthe same row. But I was
like four or five seats down andI look up and I see someone running
(19:26):
and all of a sudden, twoushers come in with mops, oh kind
of big thing. So somebody.It wasn't this woman, because I thought,
oh, did she come in andthrow up? It was somebody else.
So then I'm thinking, oh,I know, I was why did
we get so drunk before an Ellenshow? I know, and I had
you, I know, you'd think, wow, what a bunch of parties,
(19:48):
you know, so I thought,oh, I better go to the
bathroom before it starts, because onceit started, you couldn't get up.
You couldn't get up and do becauseI think, if I'm not mistaken,
I think the reason that it wasno phones is they were shooting part of
it for Netflix or something, becauseshe's gonna have a Netflix special. So
(20:11):
I knew we had like five minutes, so I run up to go to
the bathroom. They're all in theremopping everything. So somebody had totally puked
and then come down and sat intheir seat and puked. Dude, who
the hell is Like, let's goto the Ellen degeneration. Who thought beforehand?
But then this is the funny thingthat they had, like a warm
(20:33):
up come out, you know,like a guy who's probably gonna be like
you when you have to do yourstand up in front of the open mind.
Was he good? No, notparticularly, but I guess used to
be on her show or something,so he's kind of warming everybody up and
he goes okay, under no circumstances, no phones, and to watch people
(20:55):
look at these cases, like,you know, all the phones are in
this big case and you it's gota big lock on it, so you
can't open it. People are liketrying to stick their fingers in and they're
just staring at the case like thephone's gonna magically like levitate out of it
or whatever. It was so funnyand I was like, this is great,
like having my phone locked away fortwo hours. This is heaven.
(21:18):
So were the tickets expensive? No, they weren't at all. I think
they were like seventy five bucks orsomething. They were not expensive at all,
so he says, And there's signseverywhere in the lobby like no heckling,
no flash photography, no getting upand down, no yelling out to
her, no approaching the stage right, all these do notts. So she
(21:44):
comes out. So if you wantEllen, you suck. No, No,
it would have been like escorted outimmediately. No. And so he
says, you know, because thisis being shot or something, you can't
be yelling Ellen, I love you. Like when she comes out, you
can you can stand and applaud andstuff like that, but then you all
have to be quiet unless you're justlaughing. Well, comedians like get off
on that sometimes sometimes they like theymake jokes open, yes, but not
(22:08):
with like a special. Yeah,but I think because it was being filmed
or something, there was something,you know, there was all these don'ts,
no dues, just a lot ofdon'ts like clap and laugh, yes,
but everything else was a no.So of course she comes out and
everybody stands up and claps for herand everything. But he sits down and
some chick in the back goes like, of course, just doesn't pay any
(22:32):
attention to anything that she's been told. Did get reprimanded, No, but
they said, they said, ifanybody is caught, I forget what it
was doing. You were immediately goingto be escorted out of the theater if
you were caught talking or yeah,I mean they were. They were on
(22:52):
Netflix. Yeah, they were nothaving it fun. So active film set
basically, yeah, they're not havingit. Speaking of an active film set,
Oh boy, I was on onetoday. Oh yeah, you were
for a while for a brand newLa Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center TV commercial.
Oh yes, it was really funand they I was in a in my
element in a radio studio and theywere just asking me questions and U and
(23:19):
it was it's gonna I don't knowwhen it's gonna air. They all have
to put it together. But itwas like a full on production lights,
a bunch of cameras, different angles, like, I'm sure you looked so
fetching. I wore red as usualbecause that's like my good color. I
showed cleavage because you know, boobsand everything and surgery, and uh,
I wore these big fake lashes Ihave on right now, which I put
(23:41):
on last night, uh, whichare semi permanent, but they're coming off
because I didn't do it right.And okay, but here's my list of
things I've done. I'd write itall down, Okay. So, oh,
before I did the TV commercial today, I hosted a game on the
show on Rock one of five.I do what every other Yes, yes,
(24:02):
it's called the Newly Show game.She's amazing and it was so fun.
So I was on a radio showand then I did a TV commercial
today. Oh my god, yes, oh my god. I came home
and I laid down in the hammockthat I bought myself for my birthday.
Do you see the hammock out there? I freaking love it. I took
a little nap. Okay, somegood podcast right here. Oh my god,
(24:26):
No, look, I look atthe giant list. So did I
tell you guys before you left,Brian that I'm training in the helicopter.
Yes, Okay, I talked aboutit. We'll check it out. Tomorrow
is my first day solo. I'mnervous as can be because it's it's uh,
there's a lot of moving parts.You're juggling a lot of things,
and you're I'm the photographer for thetv UH stations and guess what's gonna happen
(24:51):
tomorrow. It's gonna be hot,so guess so we're gonna be covering all
day long. Fire fire, fire, fire, firefar so anyway, but
I'm really excited. I'm super nervousin my first days tomorrow. Oh.
We had a girl day in Peebe, the girls and I for my late
birthday and it was super fun.I brought my hammock because it's portable,
and everybody made fun of me becauseI set it up on the beach.
Oh my god, even the lifeguardwas laughing at me. Oh. My
(25:15):
sister came into town for Father's Dayto celebrate our father's no longer with us,
so we spent it together and wegot a tattoo from Anastasia at nothing
sacred tattoo in excuse me, excuseme, this was not run through me.
Well, Jenny got the main tattoo. She got my dad's signature on
(25:37):
her arm underneath and I Love youtattoo that she already has. And then
she got two flowers that have forkids' names. It's just so great.
And then I got Okay, soyou know I have a tattoo of bracelets
on my arm, Well I gotthey're kind of scabbed up right now because
they're healing. But I got acouple charms added to it. I have
(25:59):
an L and cross already. Igot a heart, a C, and
an E for Evan and Charlie.Oh I thought that was for me,
And uh, can it Can itbe both? Yes, it can?
Eric and oh excellent? And sometimesI love it. And then sometimes I
look down and I go, thisis permanent. I did this too myself.
Definitely an old lady tattoo. Whyon God's green ears would you say
(26:26):
that that makes no sense whatsoever.I've never seen anyone under the age of
forty, maybe even fifty, witha bracelet tattoo. You are who I've
never even seen anybody with a bracelettext and a couple and they were never
young. Well that just, ohjust makes me want to go over.
(26:48):
Do you want to go? Itmakes you want to go and get a
tramp stamp? No, but I'mgetting another one. Oh my god,
I'll tell you. I'm designing itright now. That's going on with you
in tattoos all the time. Oh. I just love Anastasian. I love
what she does. Oh my god, and I have so many ideas just
have her. Yeah, seriously,my god, did you know that every
month is your you have a birthmonth flower? Did you know that?
(27:11):
Okay, okay, so yours isa snowdrop, tulip or a carnation,
So so is Charlie's. Evans isa rose, mine is a lily of
the valley, my dad's is aviolet, and my mom's is a narcissus
or whatever. Narciss It's like,I don't know, it's like, it
(27:32):
sounds bad, it sounds bad,but it's pretty flower. So I want
to get like a design with allthe flowers and just put it on the
top of my back, really smallso it won't show all the time,
but I will have my whole familyon my back. Your whole family is.
There're their initials, my mom anddad. We'll put them on there.
What's too much going on on therealready? Well, what's two more?
(27:55):
I know? Right, that's whyI figured I've got an eagle right
here, right now? Why notI just get my whole damn body touch
No, absolutely not, some reasonswhy not? No? Yeah, incondiction
is a real thing. But Iknow it's slow, I know, I
know. Oh, she goes allin like she's gonna by the end of
summer, she's going to be likehalf inked alone. Oh did you hear
(28:17):
what post Malone did to Steve O? No, Oh my god, this
is totally Steve O. Something hewould do. He just turned fifty,
the jackass. He sat in athing full of poop, nohing, no
good, I'd post Malone tattoo apenis on his face. He has a
(28:37):
penis on the top of his eyebrowfor his fiftieth birthday and he had post
Belone do it. That's funny too. No, that's so stupid. What
an idiot, But that's that's SteveO. That's totally Steve. Okay,
two more things tomorrow, Evan Elizabethturns twenty. Nope, it's her twentieth
birthday tomorrow, and she's in NewYork City and I'm so sad she turning.
(29:02):
So this is what I'm doing.I'm getting one of her friends.
Do you remember singing telegrams? Yeah? Okay, I don't think they exist
anymore. I don't think. Butall of her friends are like theater people,
right, So I'm getting one ofher friends too. I'm gonna get
with him later on tonight to writesome lyrics to show up with where her
and her boyfriend are having like breakfast, and show up and costume and sing
(29:22):
her a happy birthdays from me,a singing telegram. Okay, does haven't
watched this podcast? No? Okay, and she's not tonight, she's doing
stuff tonight, and and no shedoesn't. Neither of my kids do we
are good? How are you?They support you? And finally, oh
my god, do you see whatLeo said? What do you say?
(29:42):
Twenty wow? The same age asLaura, oh Lee? How are you
age? Russia's sisters? I justcall her my daughter for fun. Yeah.
The only thing that really says toyour part is the old lady tattoo.
Oh my god, shut up,I'm just grandpa Yeah, Wednesday,
(30:03):
I'm going to Mexico to finally getmy front four veneers because I was supposed
to get him last week. BecauseI have a gap in my tooth right
here, which never I my teethused to be perfect. Could fix that.
No, I headed vis a line. They went right back, and
I hate it. I hated,I hated wonder. I just wanted a
(30:26):
quick fix, because quick nothing isnothing is sexier. I want you to
call me tonight when my upper andlower retainers are in. He wears them
every night. I wear I wearmy retainer every night. No, I
tell you, if I was ever, if I ever had to call emergency
or something, they would think itwas a crank call because it literally sounds
(30:48):
like I have my mouth full offood. He was the full like mouth
like mouthguard. Yeah, it's thata full like I have the wire retainer
and sex every night. Though.Well, I'm just that I just didn't
do it. Okay, a bunchof extra mind to go get your teeth
chiseled and well they're not going tofile them down like vampire teeth. They
just filed the front part so theystick them on. But get this,
(31:10):
I was supposed to get them lastweek. But the dental hygienis dropped the
veneers and there was a crack inone of the teeth, and the dentist
said, I'm not putting those onyour teeth. I'm like, thank you,
Like what am I doing? Whatam I doing? When she said
dropped, I thought she was goingto say dead. Oh yeah, but
(31:32):
I'm telling you I got a rootcanal already from Mexico. It was great
and it was very affordable, andI am promoting that highly. Still can't
feel my job all that up.I'm not going there for a colonoscopy.
Oh my gosh, I would doso cheap. The leaf little present words
there, J there he is.Oh hey jayn the man. We're about
(31:55):
to talk about JA. But firstI would like you to tease some thing
we're going to talk about in thedouble d Oh could it be jt oh?
Yeah? Any new stuff about JJ? Oh yeah, okay, yeah,
I got some info from a sourceof mine in la Ooh. This
is gonna be guest. But firstwe're going to talk about the man,
(32:20):
Jay Wartzler. Jay. We lovehim. He knows money. He knows
everything about money. If you havemoney to manage, He's your man and
here's more about Jay Wartzler and CapitalGrowth Inc. Are you ready to take
control of your financial future, lookno further than Jay Wartzler. You're trusted
and our favorite certified financial planner.Life is full of financial decisions and with
(32:44):
thirty plus years of experience and adedication to your financial wellbeing, Jay is
your partner and achieving your financial goals. So if you're at or near retirement
and you want to know if youhave sufficient assets and income sources for a
comfortable retirement, or if you aresimply changing jobs and your unsure about what
your options are with your current retirementplan, please reach out to j.
(33:05):
Jay Wurtzler and the team at CapitalGrowth go the extra mile to ensure your
financial success. Their office is aone stop shop for financial advising, estate
planning, tax preparation and divorce analysis. Call J today at eight five eight
five five two six' nine sixto zero or email him at jayw at
Capitolgrowthinc Dot com. La joya cosmeticsurgery center, is the place to go
(33:30):
if you're looking to rejuvenate your appearance, tighten and shape your body, and
just just something special for yourself.You deserve to look your very best.
Laoya Cosmetic Surgery Center offers over ninetyprocedures and treatments for a natural, youthful
appearance. They are absolutely the bestin the business. Try out their treatment
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(33:51):
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our own backyard. How lucky arewe? Make sure you tell them that.
Laura Kane after Dark sent you welove everything about La Joya Cosmetic Surgery
Center dot com that says, Ishaved my balls for this. Oh hello,
(34:19):
Eric, thank you for wearing suchwonderful things on the podcast. It's
really really greatly appreciated. Where Okay, is that from TMU? Is that
from TMU? Where'd you get thathat? All? Right? What's going
on with justin Timberlake? Oh?Play the double deep music? Yay?
(34:42):
Yeah, here we go, nowhere we go? Now, I just
like listening to it. Said thatyou're beyond beautiful. Okay, say what
Jay said? You're beyond beautiful.Oh see, way beyond well? Thank
you? Oh jeez, he hadto say that because he feels bad.
Don't oh sorry to Oh my god, that was you. You just naturally
(35:02):
do that. I don't know why, and that's I think that might not
be okay. If you want toHR, that'd be so. Do you
want to call HR? That wouldbe me, would be me? Hi,
Hi, stop touching my book?Okay? Sorry? Can I do
it? Now? Are you goingto be fed? I'm gonna have to
(35:22):
write you up? Oh? Pleasedo all right? What are you going
to call me? Uh? Somesome kind of employee? You're you're harassing
me? Oh great, it's actuallyharassing me. Oh that's the big one.
I know what sexual harassment. You'reright up. I'm going to put
it in your file file on bothof you. Yeah, we're probably better
create a file for me first.My file says, don't fire this man.
(35:45):
We can't function. We couldn't functionfor two weeks, it says,
all right, justin Timberlake, whatthey arrested for a d uy? Yes,
he says he had one moretini yep. So I found out last night
that he was originally pulled over bya cop who did not know who he
(36:05):
was, okay, and he lethim off with a warning, and he
didn't. He said, do notdrive. He said, don't drive.
He said, get an uber,get something, but don't drive. Cop
leaves and he's like, f youand just drove and then got arrested.
That's the luckiest thing that's ever happened. That hardly ever happened. Well,
(36:27):
that's supposed to happen. It's notif it's suspected of the UI. You
are that's a mandatory. Well,it's supposed to be like a mandatory you
get he got, He lucked out, lucked out, got out of it
and drove anyway, drove anyway andthen got arrested. That's crazy. Well,
and it wasn't just the UI too. You a bunch of stuff in
the system, like uppers, cocaine. So you want to hear what I
had? So I have the listof what he allegedly had in his system.
(36:53):
Hold on to what should I holdon to the point to like he
looked crazy? He did, soall right, let's go buckle up,
bring it. He allegedly had tracesof molly, poppers, true Vada,
and cocaine in his bloodstream following hisd w I arrest in New York.
(37:16):
True vada is the drug that blocksyou from getting HIV. Wait what yeah,
that's what? Why? Yeah?So that's like a prep drug.
It is HIV anti viral. Yeah. And poppers? What poppers are?
(37:36):
What? It's called amyl nitrate?Like I've never done it? Okay,
but how do you ingest that?You sniff it and it makes you very
relaxed, so you can take ayou know, it's like a D,
a big D. It's like huffing. So this is like gay territory.
Is this gay territory we're talking about? What? Oh? This is not
(38:00):
good? I allegedly. It mostlyjust means he's probably having lots of unprotected
activities. Jessica Beal is like thehottest girl on the planet. This is
the thing what man that she's probablypacking right now? Real quick? Do
you know what the other use forpoppers are facilitating? Sorry I missed that
(38:28):
part. I was like, andit's not it's not giving it, it's
receiving it. What I mean?You also people just take it to get
high too, though, probably alongwith truvada. Oh that's right, you
said, take a big deal.I didn't that I missed that part.
Yeah, oh my interesting, it'sa big cocktail. Big tail. You
(38:49):
two are gross? Oh my god, didn't so I saw that there was
a bunch of merchandise that that peoplestarted making with his mugshot on bringing Tipsy
back. Oh no, with hismugshot and then like some other things.
You've seen my T shirt with allof Lindsay Lowhand's mugshots on it, haven't
you? Probably every time I wearthat, I get so many people stopping.
(39:09):
Well, I hope because there's liketwelve of them. I hope that
well, she has come out ofit. I love Lowhand so much and
she's now on the mend. Ihope that whatever he's going through, I
hope that he gets help or youknow, I don't know. I want
(39:29):
Brittany to be okay, Okay,anything new with Brittany. No, she's
still dancing around and she's colored outfitsand instagram doing that. Okay. Uh.
Did you hear about Justin Bieber?Yes? Okay, what happened with
him? So he's broke? Whatgoing broke? Yeah, he's spending money.
(39:52):
He hasn't had an album out ina while. He just sold his
catalog for two hundred million. Ohyeah, and uh I read a story
today that he, oh god forbid, had to take a commercial flight instead
of private jet. And you knowwho else? I just saw this before
you came in. Jennifer Lopez wason a commercial flight alone. Like,
(40:15):
what's that all about? So didyou hear that benefit had a total meltdown?
No, oh my god, wentoff on the paparazzi. But he's
done that before. Yeah, youknow you're going to be married to Jennifer
Lopez and then that the photographers aretaking pictures of you. Come on,
I know, get real. Soare they together? Are they not together?
(40:37):
Are they getting divorced? Or theymove it to have it? Do
you know anything more than than thanwhat has been said? When we're done,
when we're on our take our breakbetween shows, I'll call her and
see how she's doing. I wouldn'tbe surprised. Geez, what else is
going on? Have you seen KimKardashian's new haircut? No? Oh god,
(41:00):
you guys, it is awful.Is it a wig or a haircut?
It's that blondish gray color and it'slike dreads okay, and these big
like weird bumps. It's so hideous. The the you know word on the
(41:20):
street is that nobody really cares forit. Okay, well she'll change it
in like five minutes. Oh andTaylor Swift, just I can already tell
you right now the relationship is TravisKelsey. She did she did broke the
cardinal rule. So she got atattoo. No, she hasn't given you
(41:42):
know, she hasn't gotten a ringyet. She brought him up on stage
during one of her concerts and hedid some routine. Okay, No,
so the kiss of death is gettingmatching tattoos. No kiss a death or
getting his name, but kiss adeath. I had heard a rumor that
she could be pregnant because they sawsomebody saw her in a picture with like
(42:05):
supposedly a baby bump. Oh god. But then somebody said that lady gagat
too, So I don't know.They just probably had she probably had a
hamburg probably just probably what it was, she just had a hamburger. She
booped yet so oh and then Ipulled this for you. This is important.
Okay, So did you guys watchthe documentary Brats About the About the
(42:27):
Brat Pack that Andrew McCarthy did,so if you don't see it, you're
really not missing anything. I watchedit. I thought it was going to
be really like behind the scenes andhow it you know, and pretty much
all it was was a big SOBstory about oh, you know, they
(42:47):
called us brats and I could havebeen the next Tom Cruise and my movie
that wham. It was just kindof ah. But I will say this,
because she is in our new isthe two that came off the best
by far, because they look sogood. Still we're Demi Moore and Roblo.
Oh yeah he did. He looked. He looks really good, and
(43:13):
so does Demi Moore. She isso smoking hot. The funniest one was
they remember in the Breakfast Club AliSheety, who played kind of the one
that's had the dandruff and everything.So they interview her in her apartment.
I'm assuming it was in New Yorkand she You think that they would have
been like, hold on, well, while we're doing this shot of you,
(43:36):
we're going to remove like the deadyou know, Plummeria or whatever it
is that's behind you. We're justgonna knock that out of the shot.
It would take like two seconds toit what's the stuff that they have at
Christmas? The big Yeah, itwas a point like you filmed this in
like June get put it out onthe balcony, like who cares to me?
(43:59):
Doesn't she have like a full frontalin her new movie like full on?
Have you seen the previous for that? No? It looks Let's talk
about how old she is. Sheis? I know, how sixty one?
(44:20):
She's sixty I thought she was sixtythree. No, she's sixty one.
That is. She looks insane andshe might be hitting it with Jojonahs,
who's thirty four. Ah, Ilove it for it girl, basically
screwing her son. Get it girl, get it girl. Listen. I
would hop the fence for that.Jojonahs are Demi? No, Demi?
She is so hot, Like,oh my god, come on, oh
(44:45):
I don't know, well, okaywho okay? Older woman? Older?
We're talking like like like bracelet tattooson wristage, yes, fifties sixties.
Is there any celebrity that you wouldconsider, Hey, she's still guy going
on? I would I do?Let me. I'll give you some Isla
(45:05):
Fisher. She's in her fifties.Yeah, yeah, she's really Yeah,
she's a slush a bear and cone. Actually they just got divorced. I
believe she looks fantastic. Jennifer Conley. Have you watched the House of Sand
and Fog. Yeah, just watchedthat the other night. Oh my god,
it's so good. I feel likeshe did age a little severely in
the sense that she looks like she'sa bitch. Now she looks so mean,
(45:29):
but she is still really pretty.And then also Rachel Weiss. Oh
yeah, okay, all right,I'll accept that. I like Diane Lane.
I think she looks great. She'sin her sixties. I think I
love Jessica Lang. Shania Twain ispretty hot. Yeah, and she's up
there. Yeah, old girl's gotit going on. Okay, okay,
(45:52):
I take it back. Ella Fisher'sforty eight. Oh okay, Well she's
not the fifty mark up yet.Yeah, okay. This guy just needs
to go away. Nick Cannon insuredhis wiener for ten million. He has
twelve kids, that makes sense.He uses enough. That's enough, that's
more than enough. Enough. Littlekid eleven too many, with like six
(46:15):
women or something in twelve too many. He wants to make more babies,
so he ensured his Wiener yeah.Oh my goodness, God help me.
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin. They're doinga family reality show on TLC. Is
that that's a bad idea? Hejust shot someone. Bad idea is a
(46:36):
terrible idea, although it's called onthe bald Ones. Okay, Now,
I'd be interested to see because hehas got like eight billion kids, right,
He's got like, yeah, tenkids, yeah, all with her,
or he's got some older ones,but he's younger, the one with
Kim Basinger, the one that hecalled yeah, okay, and then he
(46:57):
has all these little ones running around. I'd watch that. I think i'd
call it breaking bad. But theBaldwins, that's better than than the than
the bald One. I think mybrain stem would just slide out. That's
what happens when I watch my NityFiancee, And that's what I want sometimes,
I want my brainstem to slide outbecause I don't want to be a
terrible person. Though, I mean, like, that's not like I'm surprised
(47:17):
TLC would allow that. He hasquite a temper. Yeah, and I
know, oh they're but probably doingit just to make him look like he's
the great dead. Speaking of areyou watching the documentary on Hulu. Oh,
I just started watching it last night. I think I know what you're
talking about. It has to bethe same one. Go ahead, the
(47:38):
good Wife. Yes, Holy Motherof God, just wait, just wait,
Oh my god, this is insane. It just premiered on Hulu.
What's her name again? Her nameis Cherry Peppini? Peppini? Yes,
the story of this woman who isthis looks like the perfect wife, has
(47:59):
these two little kid kids, beautiful, beautiful husband, lovely life disappears.
Her husband finds her keys and herheadphones on the grass near their home with
like hair pulled out, and hegets nervous, and then this whole thing
unfolds. Yeah, and all thetwists and turn she is the twist crazy
(48:23):
And that's putting it mildly, mildly, mildly, all right? Is that
for the dirt? That is it? Well, guess what. That's it
for the show. But here's whatwe have coming up on Thursday. We
have the secret sound again and I'mgonna play that again. We also have
a mystery guest on the phone.This person is not going this person's going
(48:43):
to disguise their voice. And you, guys, since I know who this
person is. Have to ask thisperson yes or no questions to try to
guess who it is. I don'tknow, I don't know, I don't
know. Oh and then Eric andI have been discussing a new business plan.
Remember the business plan. Oh,yes, and we wanted we want
(49:05):
to flush it out and see whatyou think we could do with it.
Yes, so we're gonna discuss ournew business plan, not flush it like
flesh it down the toilet. Well, we might need to do that,
we might need to get some sensetalked into our heads. But anyway,
it's pretty out there. Anyway,Thank you so much for tuning in.
And and you know, watching usagain. I know it seems like I've
(49:28):
been done forever for us. Itfeels like we've been gone for Oh.
I have a present for you beforewe leave, you do. I got
it at a store called five Below. You know that? Oh yes,
Oh my god, I want youto wear this at the grocery store because
(49:49):
you talk about this quite often.I saw this one like, oh hell
yeah, God always talks about howhe cropped USTs, Like I'll twelve,
I do. There you go,crop duster. Wait, wait until you
see the shirt. I'm gonna wearnext week. I have two. I
have another present for you also onThursday. Oh thank you guys so much
(50:13):
for listening on or watching on Instagramlive and on YouTube live, and for
watching listening period. We love you. Thank you so much, love you
and love your Thank you for supportingus. Yes, we appreciate that.
I love you too, so much. Let's let's let's lock it in.
I missed you and Brian a lot. I did too. I missed I
(50:34):
am I really missed. I missedyou, but I did see you,
Lucky. I missed you Brian.I didn't think about you guys that much.
I'm sure you did. Did youthink about me more than you thought
about Laura? Oh? Definitely.I love about Eric every day. I'm
sure I usually do. Though Idon't think about Laura until I'm like about
to walk in the door. I'mlike, crap, Laura's here. Uh
huh. That's how that's the feeling. I guess five comes in with I'm
(50:58):
kidding, that's not true. That'sprobably not true anyway, all right,
And this thing, it's up toyou, buddy, pull the Yes,
oh you did, I did?What if I don't want to pull the
another one to do. Oh goshright, all right, go for it.
(51:20):
I love you too. You alreadysaid that. Look stunning. Thank
you, You're welcome. Happy birthday, Evan Elizabeth, Happy birthday with me
too. Hey, let's go toNew York. I know, can you
pay for it? Thank you?Go go go love your podcast. I
love you, my sweet sweet babies. Bye bye everybody, Bye,
Oh my gosh. Hello, welcometo Laura Kane after Dark. It feels
so good to say that. Ifeel like we've been gone for two months
or longer. I'm Laura Kane.This is Eric M. Gosh and we
have producer Ryan back in the lastThat's why we've been gone for a couple
of weeks, because we can't runthe show without our Brian's laying in the
(00:37):
sun. I can't wait to hearabout it. Like a little seashell.
We have a lot to tell you, guys about what we've been doing the
last two weeks. Two weeks we'vebeen off, so a lot has happened
in those two weeks. I'm sureBrian has stories from his vacation is fabulous
vacation. You have stories from justlife. I have tons and guess what's
(00:59):
back? What? Okay? Okay? First of all, hello everybody,
Thank you so much for tuning inon Instagram live and on YouTube live and
listening and watching after the fact.We appreciate it. And so what is
back? Is the secret sound?Oh yeah, we did this a long
(01:19):
time ago on the podcast years ago, where we play a sound and you
guys have to guess what the soundis whoever guesses the sound. Oh,
we didn't come up with the prize. Oh like okay, okay, let's
let's talk it out right now.Okay. Money is always good. Money's
always good money. Who doesn't wantto prize money? Prize? You don't
(01:41):
have any money? Well, threeof us, we're gonna have to come
up with three of us. Iget money for coming here. I know
it was her idea. Hey,buddy, hey, partner, Hey,
co host, ponying up fifty bucks. All pony up fifty bucks. It'll
(02:01):
be one hundred dollars because it's ado free. Hey, that's Laura's last
fifty bucks. So something there.Here you go. This is how much
I love our listeners and I wantthem to win. Oh I don't want
money. I want gold. Wellyou have some probably gold thing in your
bedroom somewhere, don't you. Ihave some gold stuff, but I'm not
willing to part with it means stuffsomething to me? How about a hundred
(02:22):
bucks? All right? Whoever guessesit correctly, You can guess it by
dming us. You can guess itby just sending us a message here.
If you're watching live, you canemail us. Laura caane ad at Gmail.
You can. There are many waysyou can get a hold of us
and guess that sound. Yes,So if you're on Instagram live, I
(02:43):
would suggest you maybe pop over toYouTube live because that way you'll be able
to hear it. That's right forthe first time. But I have a
feeling we're going to be playing ita lot because it's it's gonna be I
think it's gonna be hard to guess. I hope, I think it will
be. Okay, So here wego. Here is our Oh that was
sweet. She doesn't want any money, she's just happy we're back. Oh.
(03:06):
Well, when she guesses it andlet's just suck up answer and she
guesses it right, she's gonna wampout money, all right. Here we
go, see your sound twenty twentyfour. Here it is. That's it.
(03:27):
Let's do a one. Let's doit again. It's Laura dragging her
phone across the ground. No,is that was that your first? Guy?
Honestly? No, Oh, I'mnot actually guessing unless wait, if
I guess it right, I'll getthat underbox. You're not gonna guess it
for this thing, even airs Ialready have one hundred. Was funny.
(03:51):
Laura's ovary rolling across my wooden florias, my last egg, my last viable
egg. So do you have anydo you have any like thoughts about what
it could be? Kind of soundslike velcrow, something dragging. Okay,
let's just do it all right,one more time. Weren't time you secret
sound? One more time? Herewe go. Oh geez. Okay,
(04:16):
sounds like you're running your hand offor running your hand across something semi soft.
I don't know, but guess what. You wouldn't get to play,
but it's fun that you're guessing.But I'm not going to say if you're
right or wrong. Yeah, no, I know. She's like some of
the bitch. His first guess wasno rules, you can't play. Yeah,
(04:36):
you know what. You don't getto guess anymore. Okay, so
that's the secret sound. We'll playthat until somebody guesses. And I remember,
if I remember correctly, it waslike a long time before somebody guessed,
oh yeah, what the original secretsound was, and it took like
months it did, and finally somebodywon and they want something good. Okay,
(04:58):
So let's talk about what we've beendoing for the last two weeks before
we get into our sponsors. Iwant to talk about. Let's do so
much. The reason we were gonefor two weeks is because mister Jones had
a fancy ass vacation with his familia. Did I a place that I've always
(05:23):
wanted to go? I cannot evenwait to hear about it. Where were
you for the last two weeks?I actually we might want to do sponsors
for us because I have a littleIt might be a little bit of longer
one because I also brought pictures.Go ahead, well let's say that.
Yeah, well we have Laoya CosmeticSurgery Center and we have capital growth in
Yes, we will get to themin a second. I've just been they
(05:43):
can wait. Well, I justwant I got to hear about this vacation.
Okay. I went to Turks andCaicos for five days. Also was
in North Carolina for fourist days.It's great. It is stupidly humid and
hot. Oh bye, Yeah,no, it's bad. I'm sorry.
But the water is like clear ascan be and as warm as can be.
(06:06):
The water is very clear and verylike just walk right into it,
no problem, what I want.Yeah. Sand, the sand is annoyingly
soft. Actually, it makes itincredibly difficult to walk in because you take
one step and you like you sinkup to your ankles in it. Oh
that's done for you. No,I have the lower body strength to pull
yourself out. No. Like itlike it hurts the bottom of your feet
(06:29):
hurt. Like just the walk fromlike the bottom of the beach back to
the top is like genuinely a workoutand it hurts the botmb of your feet.
Rough. Actually, poor guy wasdone. I would not I would.
I would tough it out. Ithink I would tough it out.
Yeah, I suffered a lot.Did you stay in an all inclusive resort
time place? We're definitely smaller resorton the block because we're also right next
(06:50):
door to the Ritz Carlton, whichis incredibly expensive but very nice. Oh
yeah, so it was. Yeah, it was very nice and nice pool
actually, because the water there isincredibly salty, like stupidly salty, so
salty. Is actually really difficult todive under the water because it's so dense.
Did you go snorkeling? And Idid. I did, And I'll
show you some pictures in a second. Uh, which is fun until you
(07:13):
get salt water. You're like,you know, one hundred feet from the
shore and you get salt water inyour eye and it burns like no other
because it's so salty. Oh mygod, I'm so sad. I'm crying.
It Really it was really rough.It was I struggled a lot,
and it's something you really got nakedand afraid. It's a great time.
It's a little funny because they alldrive on the left side of the road
there, and there are also notraffic lights, so it's a little that's
(07:35):
a madness, great place. It'sa little bit of madness. Actually is
Was it crowded? Was it?Did you go on an excursion? Yeah,
I also talked about that second.It wasn't. I wouldn't say it's
crowded. And apart from the thesingles like Long Street, all the resorts
are on. It's actually it's athird world country. It's pretty pot fish
(07:55):
and it's incredibly expensive, more thanSan Diego. Really oh really, yeah.
I think milk was like sixteen bucksa gallon or something, oh maybe
twelve. It was a lot forthe tour. Listen, that's nothing for
the grocery store. That's nothing formoney bags. Cane here that I spend
thirty dollars on a Boba I would. I wouldn't. Jerks and Caicos I
(08:16):
would. Yeah, all right.Anyways, I brought a couple of pictures,
a couple of these from snorkeling,A couple of just from the beach
here is Oh wow, see that'show I imagine it. Look at those
just that water. I want tobe in that clear blue water. I'm
craving that so much the more.Oh wow, that's cool. See this
(08:37):
is where all the celebrities go,Turks and Caicos starling. Oh there were
just offshore. There were a couplelike five hundred million dollar yachts like just
out right out there. Beyonce andprobably jay Z just hanging out there.
Oh really Yeah. We went tolike the east west side of the island
where all the houses are and allthe yachts are parked out front, and
(08:58):
it was something, do the housesare they nice? Uh? They are
pretty nice, not crazy nice,but they're like twelve to fourteen million cheese
And you can tell by the yachtparked out front. So of those pretty
blue fish, that water is justcrystal. That really really cool photo.
Try my best I brought my GoProso I had some fun. Wow,
(09:18):
it was stupidly difficult to get someof these photos because, like, you
know, some places, it's liketwenty feet downs. I'm trying to dive
to the bottom and I look,for the life of me, can barely
get beneath the water because it's sodense and so salty. It's like the
dead sea. Could you is itfloatable? Like, oh, yeah,
you can float almost on top ofthe water. Oh wow, that's oh
that's really pretty. Yeah, thatwater is everything to me. This is
(09:41):
right outside of like, this isthe beach outside of resort, which was
actually the most boring beach we wentto. Did you drink a lot?
I? The pool had a tikibar right outside of it, and so
that was kind of nice, butI didn't drink it. Does it take
to get there from North Carolina onlyto like two and a half hours really
(10:01):
from here probably a long time.So and then this is actually interesting.
This is a kayak tour of amain Mangrove Bay that is about it's a
giant sandbar that's only underwater during hightide, and it's only about a foot
and a half deep, So you'rekayaking like a foot and a half deep
water, but you can see sharksand like sea turtles and oh I want
to do that. See that water, that clear water is just yeah,
(10:24):
this part was really cool, somecool stuff. Then this is this actually
is from the Ritz Carlton. Didyou sneak into the risk of Carlton?
I walked right in. Oh didyou go in the pool and stuff?
No? I didn't. That poolwas really nice. It was beautiful.
It's like two grand and nine.Oh my god, it is really nice
though. And then last I tookthis one, I think the last day.
(10:46):
Oh wow, look at that beautifulblue sky against the beautiful blue water.
It's just the way you'd picture Turksand caicos a place like it is
a little bit now, I willsay, because I've also been to Hawaii,
there's a little bit more to doin It's actually not much to do
here besides on the beach. Soafter like, you know, fourist days,
you're like, okay, I couldprobably go now really well, because
(11:09):
you can. We sat on thebeach like all day for like at least
one of the days, and thenyou'll you know, it's great. Then
you're like, okay, what dowe do now though? For the rest
of the four days, So wedid like that the kayaking tour, and
that was great. But it's definitelyit's one of those things where it's just
go off outside the resort. There'snot much because it is fun. Let's
(11:31):
see your face. You look alittle tan, like a little bit.
You have a little bit more color, definite, a little more. I
was wondering, come back, Oh, you should see my my wrists because
I was the kayaking tour. Iwas wearing a rash guard like up to
my up to my wrist, andI forgot somehow to not put sunscreen on
the top of my hands, sothose got burnt to a crisp. So
that was fun. Oh my gosh, Well do you have fun with your
(11:54):
family? See my sister graduate sister? Actually, oh, well, that
it's great. I'm really happy thatyou got to do that, and I'm
glad that you have fun. Maybesomeday you can go. Probably, No,
I am going to somewhere with thewater is warm and clear, where
there's huts on sticks, where it'slike the Maldives or something. That's where
(12:16):
I'm going. I'm gonna be honest, I want to go on those huts
on the sticks in the water wherethere's the floor is made of. There's
the problem like all those Pacific islands, is that they are so stink and
flat and they are all just dirtand sand. There is like they are
the most boring looking places outside thebeach. It's all about the water for
me, and I don't care.I just want to sit my butt down
(12:37):
and do nothing. It is allabout the water for you. It's about
lots of sunscreen. Also, theUV index out there is something I've never
felt before. I mean, youcould burn like fifes. Oh my gosh,
Eric, Yes, what did youdo these last two weeks? Anything
exciting? I worked? Uh huh? I went and I saw Furiosa.
(13:03):
Oh no, I talked to you. That was right now you saw?
I saw, Oh you saw.I'm here. I'm sorry I left right,
We're right before I left, Isaw for Yosa. So what do
you think of that? I suffer? Yes, it was after you left.
I saw it and I liked ita lot. It's good Fury Road,
but no, but it was reallygood. And then I just saw
(13:24):
did you just see perform? DoI have to remind you know? But
the other movie that I saw wasBad Boys, Ride or Die, and
it was good boring. I wentand saw Ellen DeGeneres. I saw her
last stand up tour and she wasperforming at at the Balboa Theater. Oh
really, she's down here. Wasshe funny? Never struck me. I
(13:46):
never thought she was. Say no, her stand up is different, it's
not. It was sold out,and I think a lot of people went
to see it as a novelty becauseof the contravers that happened that caused her
to ender her show early. SoI think there was a lot of people
that went just to see if shewould say something, and she did.
(14:09):
Did she make jokes about herself beingmean or toxic workplace jokes? Yeah,
and she did say she said,you know, I might be a lot
of things, but I'm not mean. And you know what it did to
her, what it did to herpartner, So she got serious something.
Yeah. Yeah, And I mean, would you pay to see it again?
(14:31):
No? Oh okay. I waslike, she was never that funny
to me. She's a good personality. But yeah, I thought she was
really good on her talk show.There's some people that their stand up just
is so different. And oh,speaking of stand up, we're doing it,
guys. Oh god, I'm alreadydone. I'm proud of you.
(14:56):
Okay. So here's what's going on. Side note, I'm not ten,
I know, I'm just saying.Side note. We're doing the standoun Yeah,
okay, this, we're doing astand up comedy routine, the three
of us, and we're gonna doa contest, and whoever loses, we're
gonna have a vote, and whoeverloses has to perform that set at an
open night mic somewhere. Everybody votefor Laura. I might be the funniest
(15:20):
one, who knows. I might. I think Brian probably will be.
We know you won't be the funnyone. I'm not the funny barely laugh
at anything. Yeah, well youlaugh at you barely laugh at jokes.
So comedians don't always make jokes.They talk about situations and make them funny.
Comedians are funny though. Anyway,I'm proud of you Eric for working
(15:41):
on that already, because you werethe hesitant one. Thank you, mommy.
Okay, so that's coming up.I said I got it done.
I didn't say I was going toperform it. Yeah, he's gonna he's
gonna do that and then he's gonnawin, of course, Oh my god,
he's going to be the darling ofthe stand up circuit. I could
never stand. So, oh we'reback. We're back on your shore.
(16:02):
We all tailor back to Yes.So you're going to love this, Brian.
So in line the people I wentwith Yes, So we were first
in line because it was a nophones performance, so you had to lock
your phones in these bags like theydo it for you. So the show
(16:23):
started at seven point thirty. Thedoors opened at six thirty, so we
were there at like six fifteen,and we we wound up being the first
in line. And this woman comesup kind of to the side of me,
and you know that they've got itlike roped off, and she kind
(16:45):
of stares at me and then looksdown and doesn't say anything. And so
she she doesn't say a word thewhole time. We're waiting for them to
and they're kind of messing around,and then they they're like, okay,
well open the gates, so theythey do, and the minute they walk
over to start pulling the thing open, she looks at me and starts to
(17:08):
just fall forward. Oh oh,this woman doesn't. I'm like, oh
my god. So I reach outand I grab her and I'm like,
are you okay, and she goes, I don't feel good. Oh hell
no, oh hell no. Theonly thing I'm thinking in my mind is
oh, thank god you were notthere. So these two women that were
(17:30):
behind her come rushing over, andthe one woman just took control. Like
I'm still holding onto her, andthis woman is grabbing onto the thing that
they were gonna pull and she's holdingonto it, and all of a sudden,
she starts to go down and thewoman goes, she's going down,
(17:51):
and I'm all, oh yeah,And so they one of the security people
come over and they're like, geta wheelchair, get some water. And
while they're waiting, you know thatthe one of the security people, you
know, a man and a woman. They're like, ma'am, you know,
did you have any water? Youknow? She's like I don't know.
And then she goes, I'm gonnathrow up. Holy And at this
(18:15):
point, I'm all because I wasdressed nice, and I'm all, oh,
no, let her go. Iwas like, they have a hold
of her, like, and theywheel over one of the big trash cans.
No, and so they stand herup and she's just all and I'm
like, oh my god, I'mall, can I go in, I
(18:36):
would left. That's almost worse tome than the actual act, like that
when somebody goes, I think Ifeel sick, Like I think I'm gonna
be sick. Oh my god,Like that makes me so freaked out.
I start sweating. And you know, at this point, there were so
many people helping her that I wasjust like, I'm just I'm out of
here. So that's not the worstpart. Oh well, So you go
(19:02):
in and there they've got the musicpumping and everything, and everybody's kind of
filing in and stuff. And Iwasn't able to sit with my friends because
I bought my ticket at the lastminute, so they were all sitting together.
But then I wound up being inthe same row. But I was
like four or five seats down andI look up and I see someone running
(19:26):
and all of a sudden, twoushers come in with mops, oh kind
of big thing. So somebody.It wasn't this woman, because I thought,
oh, did she come in andthrow up? It was somebody else.
So then I'm thinking, oh,I know, I was why did
we get so drunk before an Ellenshow? I know, and I had
you, I know, you'd think, wow, what a bunch of parties,
(19:48):
you know, so I thought,oh, I better go to the
bathroom before it starts, because onceit started, you couldn't get up.
You couldn't get up and do becauseI think, if I'm not mistaken,
I think the reason that it wasno phones is they were shooting part of
it for Netflix or something, becauseshe's gonna have a Netflix special. So
(20:11):
I knew we had like five minutes, so I run up to go to
the bathroom. They're all in theremopping everything. So somebody had totally puked
and then come down and sat intheir seat and puked. Dude, who
the hell is Like, let's goto the Ellen degeneration. Who thought beforehand?
But then this is the funny thingthat they had, like a warm
(20:33):
up come out, you know,like a guy who's probably gonna be like
you when you have to do yourstand up in front of the open mind.
Was he good? No, notparticularly, but I guess used to
be on her show or something,so he's kind of warming everybody up and
he goes okay, under no circumstances, no phones, and to watch people
(20:55):
look at these cases, like,you know, all the phones are in
this big case and you it's gota big lock on it, so you
can't open it. People are liketrying to stick their fingers in and they're
just staring at the case like thephone's gonna magically like levitate out of it
or whatever. It was so funnyand I was like, this is great,
like having my phone locked away fortwo hours. This is heaven.
(21:18):
So were the tickets expensive? No, they weren't at all. I think
they were like seventy five bucks orsomething. They were not expensive at all,
so he says, And there's signseverywhere in the lobby like no heckling,
no flash photography, no getting upand down, no yelling out to
her, no approaching the stage right, all these do notts. So she
(21:44):
comes out. So if you wantEllen, you suck. No, No,
it would have been like escorted outimmediately. No. And so he
says, you know, because thisis being shot or something, you can't
be yelling Ellen, I love you. Like when she comes out, you
can you can stand and applaud andstuff like that, but then you all
have to be quiet unless you're justlaughing. Well, comedians like get off
on that sometimes sometimes they like theymake jokes open, yes, but not
(22:08):
with like a special. Yeah,but I think because it was being filmed
or something, there was something,you know, there was all these don'ts,
no dues, just a lot ofdon'ts like clap and laugh, yes,
but everything else was a no.So of course she comes out and
everybody stands up and claps for herand everything. But he sits down and
some chick in the back goes like, of course, just doesn't pay any
(22:32):
attention to anything that she's been told. Did get reprimanded, No, but
they said, they said, ifanybody is caught, I forget what it
was doing. You were immediately goingto be escorted out of the theater if
you were caught talking or yeah,I mean they were. They were on
(22:52):
Netflix. Yeah, they were nothaving it fun. So active film set
basically, yeah, they're not havingit. Speaking of an active film set,
Oh boy, I was on onetoday. Oh yeah, you were
for a while for a brand newLa Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center TV commercial.
Oh yes, it was really funand they I was in a in my
element in a radio studio and theywere just asking me questions and U and
(23:19):
it was it's gonna I don't knowwhen it's gonna air. They all have
to put it together. But itwas like a full on production lights,
a bunch of cameras, different angles, like, I'm sure you looked so
fetching. I wore red as usualbecause that's like my good color. I
showed cleavage because you know, boobsand everything and surgery, and uh,
I wore these big fake lashes Ihave on right now, which I put
(23:41):
on last night, uh, whichare semi permanent, but they're coming off
because I didn't do it right.And okay, but here's my list of
things I've done. I'd write itall down, Okay. So, oh,
before I did the TV commercial today, I hosted a game on the
show on Rock one of five.I do what every other Yes, yes,
(24:02):
it's called the Newly Show game.She's amazing and it was so fun.
So I was on a radio showand then I did a TV commercial
today. Oh my god, yes, oh my god. I came home
and I laid down in the hammockthat I bought myself for my birthday.
Do you see the hammock out there? I freaking love it. I took
a little nap. Okay, somegood podcast right here. Oh my god,
(24:26):
No, look, I look atthe giant list. So did I
tell you guys before you left,Brian that I'm training in the helicopter.
Yes, Okay, I talked aboutit. We'll check it out. Tomorrow
is my first day solo. I'mnervous as can be because it's it's uh,
there's a lot of moving parts.You're juggling a lot of things,
and you're I'm the photographer for thetv UH stations and guess what's gonna happen
(24:51):
tomorrow. It's gonna be hot,so guess so we're gonna be covering all
day long. Fire fire, fire, fire, firefar so anyway, but
I'm really excited. I'm super nervousin my first days tomorrow. Oh.
We had a girl day in Peebe, the girls and I for my late
birthday and it was super fun.I brought my hammock because it's portable,
and everybody made fun of me becauseI set it up on the beach.
Oh my god, even the lifeguardwas laughing at me. Oh. My
(25:15):
sister came into town for Father's Dayto celebrate our father's no longer with us,
so we spent it together and wegot a tattoo from Anastasia at nothing
sacred tattoo in excuse me, excuseme, this was not run through me.
Well, Jenny got the main tattoo. She got my dad's signature on
(25:37):
her arm underneath and I Love youtattoo that she already has. And then
she got two flowers that have forkids' names. It's just so great.
And then I got Okay, soyou know I have a tattoo of bracelets
on my arm, Well I gotthey're kind of scabbed up right now because
they're healing. But I got acouple charms added to it. I have
(25:59):
an L and cross already. Igot a heart, a C, and
an E for Evan and Charlie.Oh I thought that was for me,
And uh, can it Can itbe both? Yes, it can?
Eric and oh excellent? And sometimesI love it. And then sometimes I
look down and I go, thisis permanent. I did this too myself.
Definitely an old lady tattoo. Whyon God's green ears would you say
(26:26):
that that makes no sense whatsoever.I've never seen anyone under the age of
forty, maybe even fifty, witha bracelet tattoo. You are who I've
never even seen anybody with a bracelettext and a couple and they were never
young. Well that just, ohjust makes me want to go over.
(26:48):
Do you want to go? Itmakes you want to go and get a
tramp stamp? No, but I'mgetting another one. Oh my god,
I'll tell you. I'm designing itright now. That's going on with you
in tattoos all the time. Oh. I just love Anastasian. I love
what she does. Oh my god, and I have so many ideas just
have her. Yeah, seriously,my god, did you know that every
month is your you have a birthmonth flower? Did you know that?
(27:11):
Okay, okay, so yours isa snowdrop, tulip or a carnation,
So so is Charlie's. Evans isa rose, mine is a lily of
the valley, my dad's is aviolet, and my mom's is a narcissus
or whatever. Narciss It's like,I don't know, it's like, it
(27:32):
sounds bad, it sounds bad,but it's pretty flower. So I want
to get like a design with allthe flowers and just put it on the
top of my back, really smallso it won't show all the time,
but I will have my whole familyon my back. Your whole family is.
There're their initials, my mom anddad. We'll put them on there.
What's too much going on on therealready? Well, what's two more?
(27:55):
I know? Right, that's whyI figured I've got an eagle right
here, right now? Why notI just get my whole damn body touch
No, absolutely not, some reasonswhy not? No? Yeah, incondiction
is a real thing. But Iknow it's slow, I know, I
know. Oh, she goes allin like she's gonna by the end of
summer, she's going to be likehalf inked alone. Oh did you hear
(28:17):
what post Malone did to Steve O? No, Oh my god, this
is totally Steve O. Something hewould do. He just turned fifty,
the jackass. He sat in athing full of poop, nohing, no
good, I'd post Malone tattoo apenis on his face. He has a
(28:37):
penis on the top of his eyebrowfor his fiftieth birthday and he had post
Belone do it. That's funny too. No, that's so stupid. What
an idiot, But that's that's SteveO. That's totally Steve. Okay,
two more things tomorrow, Evan Elizabethturns twenty. Nope, it's her twentieth
birthday tomorrow, and she's in NewYork City and I'm so sad she turning.
(29:02):
So this is what I'm doing.I'm getting one of her friends.
Do you remember singing telegrams? Yeah? Okay, I don't think they exist
anymore. I don't think. Butall of her friends are like theater people,
right, So I'm getting one ofher friends too. I'm gonna get
with him later on tonight to writesome lyrics to show up with where her
and her boyfriend are having like breakfast, and show up and costume and sing
(29:22):
her a happy birthdays from me,a singing telegram. Okay, does haven't
watched this podcast? No? Okay, and she's not tonight, she's doing
stuff tonight, and and no shedoesn't. Neither of my kids do we
are good? How are you?They support you? And finally, oh
my god, do you see whatLeo said? What do you say?
(29:42):
Twenty wow? The same age asLaura, oh Lee? How are you
age? Russia's sisters? I justcall her my daughter for fun. Yeah.
The only thing that really says toyour part is the old lady tattoo.
Oh my god, shut up,I'm just grandpa Yeah, Wednesday,
(30:03):
I'm going to Mexico to finally getmy front four veneers because I was supposed
to get him last week. BecauseI have a gap in my tooth right
here, which never I my teethused to be perfect. Could fix that.
No, I headed vis a line. They went right back, and
I hate it. I hated,I hated wonder. I just wanted a
(30:26):
quick fix, because quick nothing isnothing is sexier. I want you to
call me tonight when my upper andlower retainers are in. He wears them
every night. I wear I wearmy retainer every night. No, I
tell you, if I was ever, if I ever had to call emergency
or something, they would think itwas a crank call because it literally sounds
(30:48):
like I have my mouth full offood. He was the full like mouth
like mouthguard. Yeah, it's thata full like I have the wire retainer
and sex every night. Though.Well, I'm just that I just didn't
do it. Okay, a bunchof extra mind to go get your teeth
chiseled and well they're not going tofile them down like vampire teeth. They
just filed the front part so theystick them on. But get this,
(31:10):
I was supposed to get them lastweek. But the dental hygienis dropped the
veneers and there was a crack inone of the teeth, and the dentist
said, I'm not putting those onyour teeth. I'm like, thank you,
Like what am I doing? Whatam I doing? When she said
dropped, I thought she was goingto say dead. Oh yeah, but
(31:32):
I'm telling you I got a rootcanal already from Mexico. It was great
and it was very affordable, andI am promoting that highly. Still can't
feel my job all that up.I'm not going there for a colonoscopy.
Oh my gosh, I would doso cheap. The leaf little present words
there, J there he is.Oh hey jayn the man. We're about
(31:55):
to talk about JA. But firstI would like you to tease some thing
we're going to talk about in thedouble d Oh could it be jt oh?
Yeah? Any new stuff about JJ? Oh yeah, okay, yeah,
I got some info from a sourceof mine in la Ooh. This
is gonna be guest. But firstwe're going to talk about the man,
(32:20):
Jay Wartzler. Jay. We lovehim. He knows money. He knows
everything about money. If you havemoney to manage, He's your man and
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(33:30):
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Center dot com that says, Ishaved my balls for this. Oh hello,
(34:19):
Eric, thank you for wearing suchwonderful things on the podcast. It's
really really greatly appreciated. Where Okay, is that from TMU? Is that
from TMU? Where'd you get thathat? All? Right? What's going
on with justin Timberlake? Oh?Play the double deep music? Yay?
(34:42):
Yeah, here we go, nowhere we go? Now, I just
like listening to it. Said thatyou're beyond beautiful. Okay, say what
Jay said? You're beyond beautiful.Oh see, way beyond well? Thank
you? Oh jeez, he hadto say that because he feels bad.
Don't oh sorry to Oh my god, that was you. You just naturally
(35:02):
do that. I don't know why, and that's I think that might not
be okay. If you want toHR, that'd be so. Do you
want to call HR? That wouldbe me, would be me? Hi,
Hi, stop touching my book?Okay? Sorry? Can I do
it? Now? Are you goingto be fed? I'm gonna have to
(35:22):
write you up? Oh? Pleasedo all right? What are you going
to call me? Uh? Somesome kind of employee? You're you're harassing
me? Oh great, it's actuallyharassing me. Oh that's the big one.
I know what sexual harassment. You'reright up. I'm going to put
it in your file file on bothof you. Yeah, we're probably better
create a file for me first.My file says, don't fire this man.
(35:45):
We can't function. We couldn't functionfor two weeks, it says,
all right, justin Timberlake, whatthey arrested for a d uy? Yes,
he says he had one moretini yep. So I found out last night
that he was originally pulled over bya cop who did not know who he
(36:05):
was, okay, and he lethim off with a warning, and he
didn't. He said, do notdrive. He said, don't drive.
He said, get an uber,get something, but don't drive. Cop
leaves and he's like, f youand just drove and then got arrested.
That's the luckiest thing that's ever happened. That hardly ever happened. Well,
(36:27):
that's supposed to happen. It's notif it's suspected of the UI. You
are that's a mandatory. Well,it's supposed to be like a mandatory you
get he got, He lucked out, lucked out, got out of it
and drove anyway, drove anyway andthen got arrested. That's crazy. Well,
and it wasn't just the UI too. You a bunch of stuff in
the system, like uppers, cocaine. So you want to hear what I
had? So I have the listof what he allegedly had in his system.
(36:53):
Hold on to what should I holdon to the point to like he
looked crazy? He did, soall right, let's go buckle up,
bring it. He allegedly had tracesof molly, poppers, true Vada,
and cocaine in his bloodstream following hisd w I arrest in New York.
(37:16):
True vada is the drug that blocksyou from getting HIV. Wait what yeah,
that's what? Why? Yeah?So that's like a prep drug.
It is HIV anti viral. Yeah. And poppers? What poppers are?
(37:36):
What? It's called amyl nitrate?Like I've never done it? Okay,
but how do you ingest that?You sniff it and it makes you very
relaxed, so you can take ayou know, it's like a D,
a big D. It's like huffing. So this is like gay territory.
Is this gay territory we're talking about? What? Oh? This is not
(38:00):
good? I allegedly. It mostlyjust means he's probably having lots of unprotected
activities. Jessica Beal is like thehottest girl on the planet. This is
the thing what man that she's probablypacking right now? Real quick? Do
you know what the other use forpoppers are facilitating? Sorry I missed that
(38:28):
part. I was like, andit's not it's not giving it, it's
receiving it. What I mean?You also people just take it to get
high too, though, probably alongwith truvada. Oh that's right, you
said, take a big deal.I didn't that I missed that part.
Yeah, oh my interesting, it'sa big cocktail. Big tail. You
(38:49):
two are gross? Oh my god, didn't so I saw that there was
a bunch of merchandise that that peoplestarted making with his mugshot on bringing Tipsy
back. Oh no, with hismugshot and then like some other things.
You've seen my T shirt with allof Lindsay Lowhand's mugshots on it, haven't
you? Probably every time I wearthat, I get so many people stopping.
(39:09):
Well, I hope because there's liketwelve of them. I hope that
well, she has come out ofit. I love Lowhand so much and
she's now on the mend. Ihope that whatever he's going through, I
hope that he gets help or youknow, I don't know. I want
(39:29):
Brittany to be okay, Okay,anything new with Brittany. No, she's
still dancing around and she's colored outfitsand instagram doing that. Okay. Uh.
Did you hear about Justin Bieber?Yes? Okay, what happened with
him? So he's broke? Whatgoing broke? Yeah, he's spending money.
(39:52):
He hasn't had an album out ina while. He just sold his
catalog for two hundred million. Ohyeah, and uh I read a story
today that he, oh god forbid, had to take a commercial flight instead
of private jet. And you knowwho else? I just saw this before
you came in. Jennifer Lopez wason a commercial flight alone. Like,
(40:15):
what's that all about? So didyou hear that benefit had a total meltdown?
No, oh my god, wentoff on the paparazzi. But he's
done that before. Yeah, youknow you're going to be married to Jennifer
Lopez and then that the photographers aretaking pictures of you. Come on,
I know, get real. Soare they together? Are they not together?
(40:37):
Are they getting divorced? Or theymove it to have it? Do
you know anything more than than thanwhat has been said? When we're done,
when we're on our take our breakbetween shows, I'll call her and
see how she's doing. I wouldn'tbe surprised. Geez, what else is
going on? Have you seen KimKardashian's new haircut? No? Oh god,
(41:00):
you guys, it is awful.Is it a wig or a haircut?
It's that blondish gray color and it'slike dreads okay, and these big
like weird bumps. It's so hideous. The the you know word on the
(41:20):
street is that nobody really cares forit. Okay, well she'll change it
in like five minutes. Oh andTaylor Swift, just I can already tell
you right now the relationship is TravisKelsey. She did she did broke the
cardinal rule. So she got atattoo. No, she hasn't given you
(41:42):
know, she hasn't gotten a ringyet. She brought him up on stage
during one of her concerts and hedid some routine. Okay, No,
so the kiss of death is gettingmatching tattoos. No kiss a death or
getting his name, but kiss adeath. I had heard a rumor that
she could be pregnant because they sawsomebody saw her in a picture with like
(42:05):
supposedly a baby bump. Oh god. But then somebody said that lady gagat
too, So I don't know.They just probably had she probably had a
hamburg probably just probably what it was, she just had a hamburger. She
booped yet so oh and then Ipulled this for you. This is important.
Okay, So did you guys watchthe documentary Brats About the About the
(42:27):
Brat Pack that Andrew McCarthy did,so if you don't see it, you're
really not missing anything. I watchedit. I thought it was going to
be really like behind the scenes andhow it you know, and pretty much
all it was was a big SOBstory about oh, you know, they
(42:47):
called us brats and I could havebeen the next Tom Cruise and my movie
that wham. It was just kindof ah. But I will say this,
because she is in our new isthe two that came off the best
by far, because they look sogood. Still we're Demi Moore and Roblo.
Oh yeah he did. He looked. He looks really good, and
(43:13):
so does Demi Moore. She isso smoking hot. The funniest one was
they remember in the Breakfast Club AliSheety, who played kind of the one
that's had the dandruff and everything.So they interview her in her apartment.
I'm assuming it was in New Yorkand she You think that they would have
been like, hold on, well, while we're doing this shot of you,
(43:36):
we're going to remove like the deadyou know, Plummeria or whatever it
is that's behind you. We're justgonna knock that out of the shot.
It would take like two seconds toit what's the stuff that they have at
Christmas? The big Yeah, itwas a point like you filmed this in
like June get put it out onthe balcony, like who cares to me?
(43:59):
Doesn't she have like a full frontalin her new movie like full on?
Have you seen the previous for that? No? It looks Let's talk
about how old she is. Sheis? I know, how sixty one?
(44:20):
She's sixty I thought she was sixtythree. No, she's sixty one.
That is. She looks insane andshe might be hitting it with Jojonahs,
who's thirty four. Ah, Ilove it for it girl, basically
screwing her son. Get it girl, get it girl. Listen. I
would hop the fence for that.Jojonahs are Demi? No, Demi?
She is so hot, Like,oh my god, come on, oh
(44:45):
I don't know, well, okaywho okay? Older woman? Older?
We're talking like like like bracelet tattooson wristage, yes, fifties sixties.
Is there any celebrity that you wouldconsider, Hey, she's still guy going
on? I would I do?Let me. I'll give you some Isla
(45:05):
Fisher. She's in her fifties.Yeah, yeah, she's really Yeah,
she's a slush a bear and cone. Actually they just got divorced. I
believe she looks fantastic. Jennifer Conley. Have you watched the House of Sand
and Fog. Yeah, just watchedthat the other night. Oh my god,
it's so good. I feel likeshe did age a little severely in
the sense that she looks like she'sa bitch. Now she looks so mean,
(45:29):
but she is still really pretty.And then also Rachel Weiss. Oh
yeah, okay, all right,I'll accept that. I like Diane Lane.
I think she looks great. She'sin her sixties. I think I
love Jessica Lang. Shania Twain ispretty hot. Yeah, and she's up
there. Yeah, old girl's gotit going on. Okay, okay,
(45:52):
I take it back. Ella Fisher'sforty eight. Oh okay, Well she's
not the fifty mark up yet.Yeah, okay. This guy just needs
to go away. Nick Cannon insuredhis wiener for ten million. He has
twelve kids, that makes sense.He uses enough. That's enough, that's
more than enough. Enough. Littlekid eleven too many, with like six
(46:15):
women or something in twelve too many. He wants to make more babies,
so he ensured his Wiener yeah.Oh my goodness, God help me.
Alec and Hilaria Baldwin. They're doinga family reality show on TLC. Is
that that's a bad idea? Hejust shot someone. Bad idea is a
(46:36):
terrible idea, although it's called onthe bald Ones. Okay, Now,
I'd be interested to see because hehas got like eight billion kids, right,
He's got like, yeah, tenkids, yeah, all with her,
or he's got some older ones,but he's younger, the one with
Kim Basinger, the one that hecalled yeah, okay, and then he
(46:57):
has all these little ones running around. I'd watch that. I think i'd
call it breaking bad. But theBaldwins, that's better than than the than
the bald One. I think mybrain stem would just slide out. That's
what happens when I watch my NityFiancee, And that's what I want sometimes,
I want my brainstem to slide outbecause I don't want to be a
terrible person. Though, I mean, like, that's not like I'm surprised
(47:17):
TLC would allow that. He hasquite a temper. Yeah, and I
know, oh they're but probably doingit just to make him look like he's
the great dead. Speaking of areyou watching the documentary on Hulu. Oh,
I just started watching it last night. I think I know what you're
talking about. It has to bethe same one. Go ahead, the
(47:38):
good Wife. Yes, Holy Motherof God, just wait, just wait,
Oh my god, this is insane. It just premiered on Hulu.
What's her name again? Her nameis Cherry Peppini? Peppini? Yes,
the story of this woman who isthis looks like the perfect wife, has
(47:59):
these two little kid kids, beautiful, beautiful husband, lovely life disappears.
Her husband finds her keys and herheadphones on the grass near their home with
like hair pulled out, and hegets nervous, and then this whole thing
unfolds. Yeah, and all thetwists and turn she is the twist crazy
(48:23):
And that's putting it mildly, mildly, mildly, all right? Is that
for the dirt? That is it? Well, guess what. That's it
for the show. But here's whatwe have coming up on Thursday. We
have the secret sound again and I'mgonna play that again. We also have
a mystery guest on the phone.This person is not going this person's going
(48:43):
to disguise their voice. And you, guys, since I know who this
person is. Have to ask thisperson yes or no questions to try to
guess who it is. I don'tknow, I don't know, I don't
know. Oh and then Eric andI have been discussing a new business plan.
Remember the business plan. Oh,yes, and we wanted we want
(49:05):
to flush it out and see whatyou think we could do with it.
Yes, so we're gonna discuss ournew business plan, not flush it like
flesh it down the toilet. Well, we might need to do that,
we might need to get some sensetalked into our heads. But anyway,
it's pretty out there. Anyway,Thank you so much for tuning in.
And and you know, watching usagain. I know it seems like I've
(49:28):
been done forever for us. Itfeels like we've been gone for Oh.
I have a present for you beforewe leave, you do. I got
it at a store called five Below. You know that? Oh yes,
Oh my god, I want youto wear this at the grocery store because
(49:49):
you talk about this quite often.I saw this one like, oh hell
yeah, God always talks about howhe cropped USTs, Like I'll twelve,
I do. There you go,crop duster. Wait, wait until you
see the shirt. I'm gonna wearnext week. I have two. I
have another present for you also onThursday. Oh thank you guys so much
(50:13):
for listening on or watching on Instagramlive and on YouTube live, and for
watching listening period. We love you. Thank you so much, love you
and love your Thank you for supportingus. Yes, we appreciate that.
I love you too, so much. Let's let's let's lock it in.
I missed you and Brian a lot. I did too. I missed I
(50:34):
am I really missed. I missedyou, but I did see you,
Lucky. I missed you Brian.I didn't think about you guys that much.
I'm sure you did. Did youthink about me more than you thought
about Laura? Oh? Definitely.I love about Eric every day. I'm
sure I usually do. Though Idon't think about Laura until I'm like about
to walk in the door. I'mlike, crap, Laura's here. Uh
huh. That's how that's the feeling. I guess five comes in with I'm
(50:58):
kidding, that's not true. That'sprobably not true anyway, all right,
And this thing, it's up toyou, buddy, pull the Yes,
oh you did, I did?What if I don't want to pull the
another one to do. Oh goshright, all right, go for it.
(51:20):
I love you too. You alreadysaid that. Look stunning. Thank
you, You're welcome. Happy birthday, Evan Elizabeth, Happy birthday with me
too. Hey, let's go toNew York. I know, can you
pay for it? Thank you?Go go go love your podcast. I
love you, my sweet sweet babies. Bye bye everybody, Bye,
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