February 13, 2025 • 39 mins
We needed new promo pics, Laura found a Groupon, and BOOM we found ourselves at the photo studio at JC Penney posing up a storm. These pictures are so crazy cringe, you're gonna laugh. We have to figure out which one to use. They are all so special in their own uncomfortable way. haha. In the comments, let us know which one you like best!
Then we launch into Japanese words that are used to help you stop overthinking. Laura found this and thought it would be a positive, nice segment. Of course, it went sideways and crazy, but hysterical. Erik almost wet his pants.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Then we launch into Japanese words that are used to help you stop overthinking. Laura found this and thought it would be a positive, nice segment. Of course, it went sideways and crazy, but hysterical. Erik almost wet his pants.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
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Speaker 2 (00:42):
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Speaker 1 (00:48):
Make sure you tell them that. Laura Kane after Dark
sent you we love everything about La Joya Cosmetic Surgery Center.
Go to Glamfam dot com. Yes, I would love that.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
Would you like that?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yes? Hello, Welcome to Laura Kane a special Valentine's Day edition.
Since the day before Valentine's Day. When this episode drops.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis, that all are you no Happy
Valentine's thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis v oh b I said, baby, No,
I said, be high producer Brian, Hello, Okay, so Elvis
is going to be my Valentine this year.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
If he wants to.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Guys, when she says, don't worry, don't want you know what,
It's just another day. It's a Hallmark It's a Hallmark holiday.
Don't get me anything. Don't listen to her.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Quite some time.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Get her something, flowers, car get her card, at least
something to acknowledge your love on this day, even though
even if you think it's just the most worst made.
Oh my god, of course you think that. Did you
know that February is America's eleventh favorite month. January is
(02:08):
the worst. Why that's just I don't know. This new
study part of the new year. What do you think
the most popular month is December? Nope?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh, June?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Nope?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
July nope?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Come on, yes, thank you?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Was October?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yes it is. That's the number one too.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Halloween, baby, I.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Know I love Whylloween.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
You're lying, I know you're lying. You used to love Halloween.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
I hate it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Just making this up.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Even as a kid, I hated Halloween.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
That's not true.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
What's very true?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Do we need to analyze.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
This two years ago? I don't know that something happened
on that you.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Have a trauma, traumatic experience on Halloween, like over the
last five years or something.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It was not even that it was like two years ago.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What happened two years ago on Halloween?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Two years ago. He loved it.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Three years ago, Oh I didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It's okay, this is a safe space. It's this is
a safe space.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
As a cheshire cat.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
All right, before we get to the photos, the awkward photos.
If you happen to have a million dollars laying around,
an extra mill and you're single, this is for you.
There's a matchmaking service in Los Angeles called Million Dollar Match.
For one million dollars, you get these things and they
(03:23):
guarantee to find you the one. And this is how
they do it. You get a dedicated recruiter, somebody that
flies all over the United States, hits up gyms, hits
up bars, hits up stores, hits up any public areas
where guys may be or girls may be looking for singles.
(03:44):
You get a matchmaker that'll help.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
You apps that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Probably you get a dating coach. This is over a
full year. This is a full year. And if you
get engaged less than six six months after the program ends,
they throw in a three carrot engagement ring. I want
one million dollars and they're only taking in three clients.
(04:11):
They mean business, they really mean business, and we mind it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
We better only team they're taking. Are you one of
those three clients?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah? Okay, okay, yeah, my extra milk.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
You with a pity case.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I know why I'm doing it for like social media parts.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
You should be that. You should be the guinea pig if.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It works, dude, I would do the Golden Bachelor, Like
in two seconds.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
How about why don't you be? Why don't you Belorette?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I probably would hate it because I probably I would
not like any of those girls. I wouldn't like any
of those dudes because everybody's there just to be on team.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I said, why don't you do the Golden Bachelorette?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I know, but it's the same thing. Why are you
trying to be funny? Because I'm I see how I'm
not caring.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
She's one of those over sixty five singles this year.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
You know, shut up, geez, got this now? Lissa this
this May May twenty fourth, she's gonna be sixty six.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Oh now, now he's throwing out my birthday like he's
known it his whole life.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Sixty six.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Shut up, over Fox, we'll call her sixty six.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Sure, you guys, if you keep saying that, people are
really going to think that.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Why wouldn't they think it's true?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Shut up?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You look good for sixty six?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And if you get dumped before Valentine's Day, because that
happens to a lot of people, because guys or girls
or whatever, mostly guys, I think, freak out and they're like,
oh my god, I'm not like totally digging this person.
I don't want to get him a present. I'm going
to dump them instead. Here's what the Memphis Zoos got
for you. Name a turd after your turd. For ten dollars,
(05:51):
you can get an elephant turd named after the person
that dump.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Oh can you?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You'll get a digital card and terrible video of an
elephant doing his business.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Poop hitting more poop, Yeah, that's amazing. So if your
ex's name Brad, the poop's name is going to be Brad,
and all the proceeds go to helping the animals.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
If this is, oh, listen, I'll donate ten bucks.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
To get it. Somebody, don't you before Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Oh yeah, thank god.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay, before we show that are photos which we will show.
Eric has a story which is along the lines of
something we talked about, like a couple of weeks ago.
We talked, we had a big show about all the
recent fraud and scams that are going around, and this
one almost got this guy. And you know anything, no,
(06:50):
Frauding me is easy, frauding you is not.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
So what happened?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
So I get a U. I was on the phone,
I was out lunch. I was on the phone and
I get a phone call that comes through. So I
listened to the message and it's a detective and he
said he's with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department and
there was an urgent legal matter that he needed to
speak to me about and to call him back as
(07:17):
soon as I could. So I called back the number
and I couldn't imagine what it was. And I even
said in my message to him because I got his
voicemail and that said, this is Detective so and so
with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department, please have a message,
took it back to you, and he said it was
his desk. Like, so I left a message. I said,
(07:41):
I'm not sure what this is about, but I'm returning
your call.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Call me back.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
He did, and he informed me that I failed to
show up for a court case that I was subpoened on.
And I said, I wasn't suboenaed for any court case.
I have no idea what you're talking about. And he said,
mister Rimmer, on December eighteenth, you signed for the paperwork.
(08:10):
And I said no, I didn't, and he said, well,
we have your signature showing acknowledging that you received the
paperwork that I got this peanut. I said what date
was this and he said December eighteenth, and I said
at what time? And he said eleven thirty five am.
And I'm like, well, that's impossible because I wasn't here.
(08:32):
And he said, well, somebody else in your house signed
for it and forgot to give it to you. And
I said, well that's impossible too, I said, because I
live alone. So he goes, well then somebody, I thought, well,
the only thing I can think of is that it's
a massive complex and there's different buildings and my number
(08:59):
is that same number is in another.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Like ABC building.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So he said, well, you're going to need to come
down to the Sheriff's department and we're going to have
to do a signature test and if you truly didn't
sign for it, then we'll have to go after the
person that signed for it. And I right then and there,
I thought, well, how would you know who signed for
it then, you know if if my signature didn't match.
So something started to go off and he said, so
(09:26):
you're going to need to come down. He gives me
the address, so I immediately google it and it's a industrial
park in Kerney Mesa And so I google San Diego
County Sheriff's Office kerney Mesa and it comes up. It's
on the same street, but the physical address like it
was like the guy on the phone gave me, like,
(09:48):
I don't know, eight six seven to two and it
was one number off, so it was like eight six
seven to one was the actual number. So I'm like, okay.
So he kept saying something. I kept getting the run
around all of a sudden about money. So you need
to come down and if we find you. You're going
to need to the Honorable Judge has cited you for
(10:10):
a failure to appear and in contempt of court. So
I'm like, wait, what how can I be in contempt
of court in a fail to appear? And they told
me that the case was a SA case involving a minor,
and I'm like, oh, I have no idea. I would
never have been subpoena for a case like that, Like.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You wouldn't get subpoena. Did you just get arrested too.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But as a witness or something? And I'm like, yeah,
I don't. But I was like, no, I would have known,
you know, that would have So I'm like hmmm.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
So then he.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Says, well, there's all this stuff about well it can
be up to a twenty thousand dollars fine for a
failure to appear and you have to, you know, do
the signature analysis and all this, and it kept getting
just spiraling off into different things, and I was so
confused that I was like wait. So he goes, I'm
(11:11):
going to need to transfer you since you're not understanding
what I'm saying to this other department. So he transfers me,
and this guy's like detective Smith, you know. And I said, yeah,
I don't know what's going on. And the guy starts
explaining it and it's even more convoluted than the other guy,
and I said, I don't get it. So all of
a sudden, I'm He says something to the effect of
(11:36):
I said, fine, I'll come down, but what's where.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
I don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
And he goes.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
He starts screaming at me on the phone, and right
then and there when I said I wasn't going to
sell them oh here for eight thousand dollars, because he
said it's sitting if you you can't come down here
and do the signature analysis without paying first, and I'm like,
(12:04):
are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
And I said. He goes, and so I pulled this stunt.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I go, I don't have that kind of money, and
he goes, well, how much money do you have? And
I'm like, none of your fucking business, and he goes,
don't you talk to me that way, and he starts
screaming at me, and he's like, I've been doing this
forever and I've never met anybody as stupid as you.
And I'm all, oh, on the contrary, you've never had
(12:31):
to deal with anybody as smart as I am, because
I'm not falling for this bullshit. So I just kept
saying I don't understand. I don't understand, and he's like, fine,
I'm just going to report to the courts that you're
not agreeing to any of these options. And I said no.
I said, I'm perfectly happy to come down there and
(12:52):
do the signature analysis. What I won't do is pay you.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
And he started screaming, and I said, okay, you know what.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I'm sorry. I'm coming down right now. And he goes,
don't you dare come down here without paying and I said,
oh no, I'm coming down and I'll bring the police
with me, and I'm all.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Fuck you, and I hung out.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
So then I called the Sheriff's department and I got
an actual sheriff and I said, hey, is there a
scam going? And he goes, oh, god, you didn't give
them any money, did you? And I said no, I'm
not stupid, No I didn't give him money. And he goes,
oh yeah, it's a total scam.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It is rampant. It is so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It is bad, and I mean for me to get
rattled because they're like, well, you'll just get arrested. They'll
just come to your work. Because they had my full name,
my address, and my full birth date. Oh and he goes,
you didn't give them their social Security number?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
And I said no, But can you imagine being told,
you know, if you were elderly or something like. I've
never had to do a trial or anything, so I
didn't know.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So scary. I bet they've been getting tons of money
out of people. Oh gosh, okay. So my friend who
thinks she was talking to Kevin Costner. I was there
when Kevin Costner called her, yes, and so so she answered,
She's like hi Kevin, and then it would go. It
would like there'd be like a beat and it was
(14:21):
his voice and be like, hi, beautiful, how are you?
And she's like fine, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm missing your beautiful face. You mean so much to me.
Oh that's so sweet. You mean a lot to me too.
When can I see you, my beautiful flower? Like all
this like stuff. You can totally tell. It was Ai
and they have someone was just typing it in. I'm
like and I said to her, I said, do you
(14:51):
see do you do you hear the pause, I go,
that's what they're doing. They're they're like creating, manipulating. Yes, yeah,
and so luckily she only they had her. He said
he was on set in some remote location and his
handlers were not letting him have access to anything or
(15:14):
blah blah blah blah, and he like trusts her and whatever,
and he needed some Apple cards because he needed YadA YadA, yadah.
So she was out a couple hundred bucks of Apple cars.
That's it. But there are stories of people that talked
to Liam Neeson, a woman who lost eight hundred red,
(15:35):
like you can, like, so, celebrity scams are huge. This
is really scary, Yeah, because I think I would fall
for that in a second, because I'd be like, oh, no,
I probably did do something really bad.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
You don't remember well you know, and this is the
thing they play on that And I mean, I'm so
busy that I thought, I literally thought, did I sign
for something and totally didn't open it or forgot to go.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Some people didn't have a accent.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
What if you sign, if you get served, you will
know there is no there can be It's not like oh,
here's a document, like you know, sign here and you're like, okay, great,
like you you.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
May have to like stalk you out to serve you.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Sometimes you have to. They have to get a typically
it's on video now too, but they have to get
a verbal like that you know you've been served well.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And initially what I thought he was talking about was
jury duty, because that's what he made it sound like.
And I don't No one gets arrested her, and I
was like, what, we're gone and well, And that's that's
why I was so confused initially, because I was like,
you're I'm in contempt of court for failing to show
up for jury duty, Like who the hell cares? And
(16:39):
that's what I was initially made to think it was.
And then he goes, oh, no, it was a subpoena.
So it jumped from serving on a jury to a subpoena.
And I said, I never got a subpoena for anything.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Dude, you know, thank god you are you?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Oh yeah, nobody was gonna melt.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Nobody's gonna get three grand out of you for that
for nothing. No, oh my god. So be careful like
any little thing, even if you get a wrong number.
Oh I'm running late. I'll be there in a second,
you're like, who's this. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, wrong number.
All the time I do too, but like but now that,
but now I I kind of clued into when they
(17:22):
start the conversations.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Like right, hold on, it's always scams. I always know.
It's just fun to have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know what else? The fast track thing? Have you
got the fast track?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
That's that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, the fast track is is BS that ups and
packages rbs.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
There's there's a customs like they're waiting at customs and
they need you to do do.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
The SDG or the not STG E the Yeah, the
SDGN that you owe like five hundred and you have
to take out money orders or something to pay it.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Oh my god, bs.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
This nothing makes me more mad than people taking advantage
of other people.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
I know, it's not it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Got a job, it is just and not that kind
of a job, you know. Okay, So, oh god.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
We had a photo shoot and this was our little
promo shoot. It was time we needed to freshen up
our photos a little bit, and I thought a J. C.
Penny awkward photo shoot would be perfect for us. So
we met on a Thursday at noon at the J C.
Penny and Fashion Valley, and here are some the photo. Okay,
the girls at work there were great. They were really
(18:30):
funny and they were really they totally knew what we wanted.
They got the vibe that what we what we were
and and kind of like if we wanted it to
look onward. They even put the cheesiest backgrounds up that
they could find. And you know, there were people there
that were getting like true family photos. It's also a
place to go to.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Get My favorite thing was lawyer goes, what are adorable
little girls? She goes, it's a boy, and I was
like done, like three times.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I was literally we should just say she's mute and
can't speak.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
I know, I was kind of winning. I was like, oh,
it's a boy, I know.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Because he has cute ponytails. But whatever. Yeah, it was
really beautiful, a little.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Oh he was so cute.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I think he was dressed like a girl too.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
No, he had no remember, he just had a diagh.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
That's right, that's right away anyway, So all right, here
the picture.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Here are the pictures. Yes, okay, so.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I love our Eiffel Tower, Brian.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I know that one is but like somebody's we're not centered.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Though. It bothers me.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
I know it is. That bothered me too, because Eric
needs to be up a little bit.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
And well you, but you're off center in the photo too.
You're not even in the center anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That one, okay, and the one we're looking up so serious.
I love that one. It reminds me of a Napoleon dynamite.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Is a good one. I like that one.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
And then this one I love. I think this one
is cute. I think that one's a winner. That one
is a winner. It's not it's cheesy, but it's also cute.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
It's it's pretty good. I don't like my double chin,
but we can.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You know, we can fix that.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You don't have to fix that. No, I have to
fix it.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Okay, you can fix that. Okay, okay, No, I think
it's so cute.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
It's all right. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Watch all of me, Brian have like this, supersh.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I would like you to make us just have nose holes.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I know you would do that. You would make us
all white as a ship totally. That one I kind
of like to be so Eric, Eric, it looks like
you look like you're trying to recreate your old modeling days.
I'm like, this is like so lame, what the hell?
And Brian's like, why am I even here?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
This one is I don't understand, Like I don't know.
There's something about it where I'm like, it doesn't really
make sense to me that we're all looking in different
directions up in the air. But it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
It's kind of funny. It's funny. I like it, Okay,
I love the head pile is my is one of
my favorites. We had to put our head on top.
I put my head on top of Eric's on top
of his ear, and then Brian put his head on
top of my ear. The head pile, and then to
the bat to back. That's when we shows for our
ten by twenty photo just because that one is actually cute.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
But yeah, that's good. These next ones are good.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
This is like the one on the left is like
a we're siblings, like you're the older brother, Brian. It
looks like because you're at the top and then I'm
the middle kid, and then or No, that one's good.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yeah, it's nice, it's centered, it's proportional. Yeah, that one
is really good and I like the one of you sitting.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You like someone. Yeah, Eric is sitting. I'm like laying
down on my stomach with my knees bent and my
feet up, and he's sitting on my feet with his
feet on my butt. If it's cute, that's cute. I
like that one.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And I love the gray washed out background. That one
I like too. Brian, You're you have a cheesebawl h
smile and I like it. It's cute.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh my god' like that smiling.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
But actually that's you did a good job on that one.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Yeah, that one's good. I wish I was a little
clo sir to you guys, or Eric was a little
more equidistant.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Can you fix that? Can you actually fix that?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Hell, I look a little photoshop. I look a little
fruit shocking.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
No he doesn't.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
But he's not like you could beating.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I don't even want to say what I look like
because I might get canceled.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
No, don't say it. I don't sea wait wa wait wait, wait.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Wait, let me let me just mute everything and.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, don't No, it's not that bad.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
You don't look like that.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I do.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I think he looks I think that's cute.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
You know what he does a little bit, a little
weird angle of his face or like the position of
his eyes.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, so that's the service. Okay. The next one, okay,
that's the classic hair over.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Eric's good.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That one is good. Yeah, she did a good job
with that one, for sure. And that is like the
green like modeled, uh leaved background.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Of these next two, one of them, I absolutely.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
One of them, and one of them I absolutely love. Okay, okay,
I love both of these.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
The one on the right is cute. That one is
aut for sure, a sibling photo. That one. You look great, Brian,
you look great, Eric, and I look, ok I look,
you look very fine.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
One on the left is so atrocious.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It is hilarious because Brian is standing like he is
a god.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
No, I'm standing like you guys just performed at numerous
sexual brothers sexual accent and I was like, awesome, I
own these people, these these I am. I am a
pimp and these are my whorees. Like that is exactly
the right face.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I'm terrified I look like I look like Bianca s Sorry.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
And I read way too far. I know That's why
I'm saying. I think this is a terrible and she's like,
give a serious expression, and I was like, okay, that
feels that feels like a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Post that one.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
He was like, good boy, good girl.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Yes, it's like kinky. I hate it. It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
If he awkward, if he had about one point five
million in ice around us.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah, literally, be how.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
High my hand is. Look look how close it is.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So Laura's always grab our chunk.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
I know, you guys look like creeps and I look
like also, my legs are like so far apart, and
it's like it's like I'm swatting and I'm like tea
bagging you guys. Oh my god, that is the hands on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
The hands on my head, like you are rolling like
your veryonette.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
I think it went from it's not awkward if we
were smiling, the awkward, but with like the looks, it
is like just kind of like a creepy.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It's but I can't wait to post it.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I can't no that one's not getting posted.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
We're going to put them all to a bade. Everybody
needs to see.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
All of them.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I don't think everyone needs to see all they need
to God, if that could just damage our reputation.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
If we could, just if.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
We could just change his his T shirt to just
say pimp on it.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I don't want to. I don't want to look like
a pimp. I got an image to protect.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
That is the best thing. That's a bad photos. Like,
I never want to let him go ever, But the
knees are on I look like.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
And you guys look like like like your traffic. You
guys look like your traffic.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I look like I like I'm brainwashed, and I like
it looks like the trafficking looks terrified.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I don't think it's a good vibe, right.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I love the fact that the knees on my jeans
are all worn out from all that.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yeah, all the time you stall.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The Malaysio that I'm performing on our producer.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Oh my god, I think it's bad.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I feel like I feel like she should have seen that,
Like this like is not awkward, it's weird.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Well, hey, she pushed it to the limit.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Anyways, literally the most Yes, okay, Oh, that one that one's.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Goods doing the wheelbarrow.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
I think that one's really good.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
That one's cute.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Kane, do you want tickets to the Gun Show.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
I know, look, I know right at you. You Okay,
so you're gonna you're gonna love that one. You want
that one?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
That one's good. This next one is a variant of
the previous one. But I don't like the serious look.
I think it's bad. Actually, I think my face is bad.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Well you can't, you know. I like the serious looks
for the awkwardness of it, but it doesn't just it
doesn't explain our showers.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
But my face isn't actually serious, it's just bla.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Your face is like.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Like I like, there's just not a thought.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Because nothing there. It's plaining.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Oh my god, I was sure what serious was.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
At first, Eric kind of looks pervy, and.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Then I do, I look, yes, I do, and again
I look hypnotized.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Yeah. Actually Eric is giving like a Hugh Hefner type like.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Oh my god, I look do whatever he's like, this
is disgusting.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
I don't like these at all. This one. This one
is like, it's not terrible, it's just not as good
as the other one.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And then the way Laura has her back arched, I
look like I've got a big like pot belly.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
One. Okay, so we look like sexual creeps. We're gonna
use that one. But the one where Eric looks slightly overweight.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
All of these baby, all of them go up for
a vote. That's cute.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I think the angle is just a little too high,
but other than that, it's not bad.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Eric.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Eric is super happy in that one. We're we're all
on our stomachs with our our chins resting on our knuckles.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Of course, I'm happy. I'm not having to balance anybody.
I'm not having to pick anybody up.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
That one's good.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
That one is cute.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
That's the last one.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
That is the last one.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay, wait, what's what happened to the one where I'm
Brian and I are cradling you?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
That one, I don't send it to me. You know why,
because that you talk about off center like that one
was super off center. Eric. By the way, I weigh
one hundred and forty five pounds. Okay, mister, I work
out every freaking day. I could feel him literally.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Okay. It wasn't his fault. The way the lady had
to do it was bad because I went these were
bullshe well, because we were. I went around to grab
your legs so we could like evenly distribulation, stay right there,
and I was like, but he's holding her off center
on this side, Like why would I do that?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I was totally holding you off center, and I was
it was too heavy on one side versus the other.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
I was like, why should I, Like, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Drop her on her head.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
I didn't argue.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I was so nervous.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
And then there was one where we did that the
Titanic one like where I'm oh, yeah, that one. I
forgot to send that one to you. That one's cute too.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
That was good.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
But I'll post I'm gonna revamp our website with something.
Oh yeah, actually, I think we might. I think it'd
be fine. A rebrand with these I think, oh my god,
go for it. Maybe do a logo redesign that fits
more Awkward.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Big time, because that's what we are.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I'll mock some stuff up.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Laura Kane Awkward after Dark.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Might as well be totally And now let's get serious
to end the podcast, Okay, because I saw this on
Instagram and for some reason, I'm on this like I've
been scrolling. You know when you scroll and you hit
on something, you know how you get Oh no, we'll
end with that Okay. You know how like you death
scroll and then like you click on something and then
(29:20):
you get things that are like that. Oh yeah, so
I clicked on something like some kind of like gratitude
thing or some kind of like rules for life type
of thing.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Of course you did, so I got this AMR or
whatever it is ASMR.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh yeah, Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. I'm gonna try
to say these words now. Let me. I'll probably get
canceled for this, but get canceled, no, no, no, for
what I'm gonna say. My dad was in the Air
Force and he was stationed in Japan when he was
in his late teen twenties, and so growing up, he
(30:02):
taught us some Japanese words. But the only it's like
sayonara and and uh. But the only thing I remember
is how to say big boobs oki chee cheese. Okay,
that's what my dad taught me. That's all I saw me,
(30:22):
So I thought that this would be very cheese. I
remember that song at Randy Yuki dosh song na. Oh no,
I don't even know what that means. A chakune. I'll
never forget that. Some Japanese group came in and sang
that to Randy on the Jebba Josher at one time,
(30:43):
and we played it over and over and over again,
and I'll never forget it. Where you're laughing, Okay, che cheese.
I know you would my dad. You would love my dad.
I'm not even kidding, all right, So here, let's take
a breath, like, take a breath, deep breath.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
It wasn't that fun, he eric deep bread.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Okay, you slap happy now? Yeah, kaizen, this means to
it only one percent every day, just one percent every day,
because every little change leads to life changing results. You've
been coughing like ten bill bzillion.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Times las weeks.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
But what about your medicine is working? Have you been
taking it?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Yeah? He's just getting old.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
I'm just getting old and everything's shutting down.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yeah, you guys are in the sixty five plus.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Shut up. Okay, Each each ego ichi, it's not okichichi,
it's each ego ichi means that no, oh, it means
every moment is beautiful and unrepeatable.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Wait say it again, each oh goal ichi.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Every moment is beautiful and unreputable. So be present, Wabbi sabby.
Perfection is an illusion embraced flaws. It adds character. These
are again Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. Shakata god, nay,
accept what you cannot control, because when you do, peace follows.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
That's that's like, what's that Catholic phrase, the prayer God?
I can remember right now?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And also with you no no, no, not that benediction hel
mariphil the lords with you.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
It's it's like, give me the strength, the wisdom.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Of oh, the serenity prayer, Oh God grant us.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, that's how many times have I said that in
my seventeen years? And I can't say it on the
spot right now, I know, dude, that's freaking me out. Okay,
can to wait? Kintsugi kintsugi. Broken pieces can be mended
together beautifully, so don't think you're bother this class. Yes.
(33:13):
And finally, ma ma means fine harmony in stillness and space, appreciate.
I don't know if the pauses in life.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
If I buy that these are the correct translations, I.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Still like chi chi cheese, ch cheese.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
She's like, but she just has like a one syllable
to like literal least English translation phrase and she's like,
and it means this, like you know, four sentences.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I literally copied this from this from where.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, you probably just she probably is gonna be She
probably just offended.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
Everywhere she's been teaching us swear words and problems like
this means the strength to the unchangeable around.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
You should probably hold on. You probably see one of
these words. I'm gonna see how you?
Speaker 4 (34:03):
Oh my god, are you going to google the English
translation of a word you can't spell?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
He?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Okay, okay, I E c H I c h I
I think old on? Why?
Speaker 4 (34:14):
But no, that does mean cheese.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
That does mean yes, my dad loves boobs.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Okay, he was bootman.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
He was a bootman.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
It's fine, is it?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
K A z e n k wait? This was the
first one. K A I z e n. That means
to improve one percent each day. Little changes lead to
life changing results. Oh no, what does it say? What
does it say? Oh no, oh.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
You you were going to be so chased?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Oh no, what does it mean? Is it Japanese?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, you're lying.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
No, I can't say it. I'll read it to you. Okay,
it means continuous sex. No, I'm kidding. Means continuous improvement.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Oh my god, I knew it. Oh see you're a
pretty good actor. You're a pretty good actor.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
Although when I look up how to say big boobs
in Japanese, it is not what you say.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Well, maybe that's okay, what is it?
Speaker 4 (35:23):
This one says Opie.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Maybe that's the proper word. Maybe that's like big breasts.
But like when slang, because you talk slang when you're
you know, in the military in the bars, like hooking
up with Japanese women.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Anyway, that was my childhood Oki chee cheese and all
that stuff. Anyway, all right, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day,
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine. I have you have a
great Friday. Whatever you do. I'm going to be working
and whatever, probably not getting one single thing. And you
know what, I'm fine with that. I don't even care.
(36:00):
I really don't. But Brian, you're right, this is the
year I'm going to try. Maybe I don't know when
I'm going to start trying, because every my mom says that,
every horoscope says Gemini, this is.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
My no hold on. All right, if you want to try,
that's great. I think you should. It should not be
based on anything other than if you want to and
you just actually have to do it. Horoscopes are not
going to change anything about it.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Hey, Laura, I want you to say to me tomorrow,
thank you you have a big wiener.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
What that means is that big dick?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Wow? You're so peru.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Predictable.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
God, Well you talked about your boobs.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I didn't say they were mine.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
I said, well I should hope so you pay for him, dude?
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Oh my god. Well now we have to like clean
slate anyways and talk about Dune Jewelry. Oh yeah, before
we complete, but show god, dude, Tomorrow is when I
get my ring that I've been so eagerly waiting for.
Jessica at Dune Jewelry is creating it for me. She's
(37:13):
the one that has my dad sitting on her desk
his ashes because she used them for jewelry she made
for my family. This is dunejewelry dot com, where you
can make beautiful designs, silver, gold necklaces, bracelets, rings, pendants,
anything you want out of your loved one's ashes, out
(37:33):
of sand or rocks from a someone that means something
to you. Someone maybe where you were born or something
where you got engaged. A beach somewhere in the south
of France. Guaranteed. They have the sand. They have a
bank of sand, over five thousand sands and grains of
dirt from all over the world. They also have all
(37:55):
the kind of crystals you could possibly want, and all
of those have meanings to And then they have the
designs and you pick the design and you get to
custom make your ring or your necklace or your bracelet,
and is so awesome. And I've been talking with Jessica
and she's the one that's making my red ring with
my dad's ashes at the very bottom. It's going to
be so beautiful. I get it. I can't wait to
(38:17):
show you guys next week. I get out on Valentine's Day.
Oh my god, my dad's my Valentine.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
See.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Thank you done Jewelry. Thank you, don Jewelry. I love you, guys.
And if you guys, go to Dounejewelry dot com and
you put.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
In promo code Laura Kane fifteen.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You get fifteen pieces. Wow, I have fifteen percent off
your order.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
You're welcome completing that sentence.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
You're welcome. We love you. Juryune Jewelry.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
I just think I passed a long to you.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
I think you did. We love you.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
June Jewelry Laura Kane fifteen fifty percent off your order.
Thank you so much for being a sponsor on Laura
Cane After Dark, and thank you guys so much for watching,
and thank you so much for listening. Happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day, My love, no, thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
You look and like a little sparkly heart.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Thank you. Even though I have no sparkles on, I
have a heart. I have a heart on.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
You have a heart on.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Just say it, say it, don't spray it. Love your podcast,
Love you my sweet babies. I love you my babies. Bye.
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Speaker 3 (00:56):
Would you like that?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Yes? Hello, Welcome to Laura Kane a special Valentine's Day edition.
Since the day before Valentine's Day. When this episode drops.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis, that all are you no Happy
Valentine's thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Happy Valentine's Day, Elvis v oh b I said, baby, No,
I said, be high producer Brian, Hello, Okay, so Elvis
is going to be my Valentine this year.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
If he wants to.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Guys, when she says, don't worry, don't want you know what,
It's just another day. It's a Hallmark It's a Hallmark holiday.
Don't get me anything. Don't listen to her.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
Quite some time.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Get her something, flowers, car get her card, at least
something to acknowledge your love on this day, even though
even if you think it's just the most worst made.
Oh my god, of course you think that. Did you
know that February is America's eleventh favorite month. January is
(02:08):
the worst. Why that's just I don't know. This new
study part of the new year. What do you think
the most popular month is December? Nope?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
Oh, June?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Nope?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
July nope?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Come on, yes, thank you?
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Was October?
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yes it is. That's the number one too.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Halloween, baby, I.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Know I love Whylloween.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
You're lying, I know you're lying. You used to love Halloween.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
I hate it.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
Just making this up.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Even as a kid, I hated Halloween.
Speaker 4 (02:34):
That's not true.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
What's very true?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Do we need to analyze.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
This two years ago? I don't know that something happened
on that you.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Have a trauma, traumatic experience on Halloween, like over the
last five years or something.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
It was not even that it was like two years ago.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What happened two years ago on Halloween?
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Two years ago. He loved it.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Three years ago, Oh I didn't.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
It's okay, this is a safe space. It's this is
a safe space.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
As a cheshire cat.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
All right, before we get to the photos, the awkward photos.
If you happen to have a million dollars laying around,
an extra mill and you're single, this is for you.
There's a matchmaking service in Los Angeles called Million Dollar Match.
For one million dollars, you get these things and they
(03:23):
guarantee to find you the one. And this is how
they do it. You get a dedicated recruiter, somebody that
flies all over the United States, hits up gyms, hits
up bars, hits up stores, hits up any public areas
where guys may be or girls may be looking for singles.
(03:44):
You get a matchmaker that'll help.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
You apps that's what they're doing.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Probably you get a dating coach. This is over a
full year. This is a full year. And if you
get engaged less than six six months after the program ends,
they throw in a three carrot engagement ring. I want
one million dollars and they're only taking in three clients.
(04:11):
They mean business, they really mean business, and we mind it.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
We better only team they're taking. Are you one of
those three clients?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah? Okay, okay, yeah, my extra milk.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
You with a pity case.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
I know why I'm doing it for like social media parts.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
You should be that. You should be the guinea pig if.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
It works, dude, I would do the Golden Bachelor, Like
in two seconds.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
How about why don't you be? Why don't you Belorette?
Speaker 1 (04:42):
I probably would hate it because I probably I would
not like any of those girls. I wouldn't like any
of those dudes because everybody's there just to be on team.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
I said, why don't you do the Golden Bachelorette?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I know, but it's the same thing. Why are you
trying to be funny? Because I'm I see how I'm
not caring.
Speaker 4 (04:59):
She's one of those over sixty five singles this year.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
You know, shut up, geez, got this now? Lissa this
this May May twenty fourth, she's gonna be sixty six.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Oh now, now he's throwing out my birthday like he's
known it his whole life.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
Sixty six.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
Shut up, over Fox, we'll call her sixty six.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Sure, you guys, if you keep saying that, people are
really going to think that.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Why wouldn't they think it's true?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Shut up?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
You look good for sixty six?
Speaker 4 (05:27):
All right?
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And if you get dumped before Valentine's Day, because that
happens to a lot of people, because guys or girls
or whatever, mostly guys, I think, freak out and they're like,
oh my god, I'm not like totally digging this person.
I don't want to get him a present. I'm going
to dump them instead. Here's what the Memphis Zoos got
for you. Name a turd after your turd. For ten dollars,
(05:51):
you can get an elephant turd named after the person
that dump.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Oh can you?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
You'll get a digital card and terrible video of an
elephant doing his business.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Poop hitting more poop, Yeah, that's amazing. So if your
ex's name Brad, the poop's name is going to be Brad,
and all the proceeds go to helping the animals.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
If this is, oh, listen, I'll donate ten bucks.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
To get it. Somebody, don't you before Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Oh yeah, thank god.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
Okay, before we show that are photos which we will show.
Eric has a story which is along the lines of
something we talked about, like a couple of weeks ago.
We talked, we had a big show about all the
recent fraud and scams that are going around, and this
one almost got this guy. And you know anything, no,
(06:50):
Frauding me is easy, frauding you is not.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
No.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
So what happened?
Speaker 2 (06:55):
So I get a U. I was on the phone,
I was out lunch. I was on the phone and
I get a phone call that comes through. So I
listened to the message and it's a detective and he
said he's with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department and
there was an urgent legal matter that he needed to
speak to me about and to call him back as
(07:17):
soon as I could. So I called back the number
and I couldn't imagine what it was. And I even
said in my message to him because I got his
voicemail and that said, this is Detective so and so
with the San Diego County Sheriff's Department, please have a message,
took it back to you, and he said it was
his desk. Like, so I left a message. I said,
(07:41):
I'm not sure what this is about, but I'm returning
your call.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Call me back.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
He did, and he informed me that I failed to
show up for a court case that I was subpoened on.
And I said, I wasn't suboenaed for any court case.
I have no idea what you're talking about. And he said,
mister Rimmer, on December eighteenth, you signed for the paperwork.
(08:10):
And I said no, I didn't, and he said, well,
we have your signature showing acknowledging that you received the
paperwork that I got this peanut. I said what date
was this and he said December eighteenth, and I said
at what time? And he said eleven thirty five am.
And I'm like, well, that's impossible because I wasn't here.
(08:32):
And he said, well, somebody else in your house signed
for it and forgot to give it to you. And
I said, well that's impossible too, I said, because I
live alone. So he goes, well then somebody, I thought, well,
the only thing I can think of is that it's
a massive complex and there's different buildings and my number
(08:59):
is that same number is in another.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Like ABC building.
Speaker 4 (09:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So he said, well, you're going to need to come
down to the Sheriff's department and we're going to have
to do a signature test and if you truly didn't
sign for it, then we'll have to go after the
person that signed for it. And I right then and there,
I thought, well, how would you know who signed for
it then, you know if if my signature didn't match.
So something started to go off and he said, so
(09:26):
you're going to need to come down. He gives me
the address, so I immediately google it and it's a industrial
park in Kerney Mesa And so I google San Diego
County Sheriff's Office kerney Mesa and it comes up. It's
on the same street, but the physical address like it
was like the guy on the phone gave me, like,
(09:48):
I don't know, eight six seven to two and it
was one number off, so it was like eight six
seven to one was the actual number. So I'm like, okay.
So he kept saying something. I kept getting the run
around all of a sudden about money. So you need
to come down and if we find you. You're going
to need to the Honorable Judge has cited you for
(10:10):
a failure to appear and in contempt of court. So
I'm like, wait, what how can I be in contempt
of court in a fail to appear? And they told
me that the case was a SA case involving a minor,
and I'm like, oh, I have no idea. I would
never have been subpoena for a case like that, Like.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
You wouldn't get subpoena. Did you just get arrested too.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
But as a witness or something? And I'm like, yeah,
I don't. But I was like, no, I would have known,
you know, that would have So I'm like hmmm.
Speaker 3 (10:49):
So then he.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Says, well, there's all this stuff about well it can
be up to a twenty thousand dollars fine for a
failure to appear and you have to, you know, do
the signature analysis and all this, and it kept getting
just spiraling off into different things, and I was so
confused that I was like wait. So he goes, I'm
(11:11):
going to need to transfer you since you're not understanding
what I'm saying to this other department. So he transfers me,
and this guy's like detective Smith, you know. And I said, yeah,
I don't know what's going on. And the guy starts
explaining it and it's even more convoluted than the other guy,
and I said, I don't get it. So all of
a sudden, I'm He says something to the effect of
(11:36):
I said, fine, I'll come down, but what's where.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
I don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
And he goes.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
He starts screaming at me on the phone, and right
then and there when I said I wasn't going to
sell them oh here for eight thousand dollars, because he
said it's sitting if you you can't come down here
and do the signature analysis without paying first, and I'm like,
(12:04):
are you kidding me?
Speaker 3 (12:06):
And I said. He goes, and so I pulled this stunt.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
I go, I don't have that kind of money, and
he goes, well, how much money do you have? And
I'm like, none of your fucking business, and he goes,
don't you talk to me that way, and he starts
screaming at me, and he's like, I've been doing this
forever and I've never met anybody as stupid as you.
And I'm all, oh, on the contrary, you've never had
(12:31):
to deal with anybody as smart as I am, because
I'm not falling for this bullshit. So I just kept
saying I don't understand. I don't understand, and he's like, fine,
I'm just going to report to the courts that you're
not agreeing to any of these options. And I said no.
I said, I'm perfectly happy to come down there and
(12:52):
do the signature analysis. What I won't do is pay you.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
And he started screaming, and I said, okay, you know what.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I'm sorry. I'm coming down right now. And he goes,
don't you dare come down here without paying and I said,
oh no, I'm coming down and I'll bring the police
with me, and I'm all.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Fuck you, and I hung out.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
So then I called the Sheriff's department and I got
an actual sheriff and I said, hey, is there a
scam going? And he goes, oh, god, you didn't give
them any money, did you? And I said no, I'm
not stupid, No I didn't give him money. And he goes,
oh yeah, it's a total scam.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It is rampant. It is so bad.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
It is bad, and I mean for me to get
rattled because they're like, well, you'll just get arrested. They'll
just come to your work. Because they had my full name,
my address, and my full birth date. Oh and he goes,
you didn't give them their social Security number?
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Did you?
Speaker 2 (13:49):
And I said no, But can you imagine being told,
you know, if you were elderly or something like. I've
never had to do a trial or anything, so I
didn't know.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
So scary. I bet they've been getting tons of money
out of people. Oh gosh, okay. So my friend who
thinks she was talking to Kevin Costner. I was there
when Kevin Costner called her, yes, and so so she answered,
She's like hi Kevin, and then it would go. It
would like there'd be like a beat and it was
(14:21):
his voice and be like, hi, beautiful, how are you?
And she's like fine, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (14:30):
I'm missing your beautiful face. You mean so much to me.
Oh that's so sweet. You mean a lot to me too.
When can I see you, my beautiful flower? Like all
this like stuff. You can totally tell. It was Ai
and they have someone was just typing it in. I'm
like and I said to her, I said, do you
(14:51):
see do you do you hear the pause, I go,
that's what they're doing. They're they're like creating, manipulating. Yes, yeah,
and so luckily she only they had her. He said
he was on set in some remote location and his
handlers were not letting him have access to anything or
(15:14):
blah blah blah blah, and he like trusts her and whatever,
and he needed some Apple cards because he needed YadA YadA, yadah.
So she was out a couple hundred bucks of Apple cars.
That's it. But there are stories of people that talked
to Liam Neeson, a woman who lost eight hundred red,
(15:35):
like you can, like, so, celebrity scams are huge. This
is really scary, Yeah, because I think I would fall
for that in a second, because I'd be like, oh, no,
I probably did do something really bad.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
You don't remember well you know, and this is the
thing they play on that And I mean, I'm so
busy that I thought, I literally thought, did I sign
for something and totally didn't open it or forgot to go.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Some people didn't have a accent.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
What if you sign, if you get served, you will
know there is no there can be It's not like oh,
here's a document, like you know, sign here and you're like, okay, great,
like you you.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
May have to like stalk you out to serve you.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Sometimes you have to. They have to get a typically
it's on video now too, but they have to get
a verbal like that you know you've been served well.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
And initially what I thought he was talking about was
jury duty, because that's what he made it sound like.
And I don't No one gets arrested her, and I
was like, what, we're gone and well, And that's that's
why I was so confused initially, because I was like,
you're I'm in contempt of court for failing to show
up for jury duty, Like who the hell cares? And
(16:39):
that's what I was initially made to think it was.
And then he goes, oh, no, it was a subpoena.
So it jumped from serving on a jury to a subpoena.
And I said, I never got a subpoena for anything.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Dude, you know, thank god you are you?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
Oh yeah, nobody was gonna melt.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Nobody's gonna get three grand out of you for that
for nothing. No, oh my god. So be careful like
any little thing, even if you get a wrong number.
Oh I'm running late. I'll be there in a second,
you're like, who's this. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, wrong number.
All the time I do too, but like but now that,
but now I I kind of clued into when they
(17:22):
start the conversations.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Like right, hold on, it's always scams. I always know.
It's just fun to have the conversation.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
You know what else? The fast track thing? Have you
got the fast track?
Speaker 4 (17:30):
That's that's a good one.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yeah, the fast track is is BS that ups and
packages rbs.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
There's there's a customs like they're waiting at customs and
they need you to do do.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
The SDG or the not STG E the Yeah, the
SDGN that you owe like five hundred and you have
to take out money orders or something to pay it.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
Oh my god, bs.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
This nothing makes me more mad than people taking advantage
of other people.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
I know, it's not it's pretty crazy.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
Got a job, it is just and not that kind
of a job, you know. Okay, So, oh god.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
We had a photo shoot and this was our little
promo shoot. It was time we needed to freshen up
our photos a little bit, and I thought a J. C.
Penny awkward photo shoot would be perfect for us. So
we met on a Thursday at noon at the J C.
Penny and Fashion Valley, and here are some the photo. Okay,
the girls at work there were great. They were really
(18:30):
funny and they were really they totally knew what we wanted.
They got the vibe that what we what we were
and and kind of like if we wanted it to
look onward. They even put the cheesiest backgrounds up that
they could find. And you know, there were people there
that were getting like true family photos. It's also a
place to go to.
Speaker 4 (18:48):
Get My favorite thing was lawyer goes, what are adorable
little girls? She goes, it's a boy, and I was
like done, like three times.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I was literally we should just say she's mute and
can't speak.
Speaker 4 (19:04):
I know, I was kind of winning. I was like, oh,
it's a boy, I know.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Because he has cute ponytails. But whatever. Yeah, it was
really beautiful, a little.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Oh he was so cute.
Speaker 4 (19:14):
I think he was dressed like a girl too.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
No, he had no remember, he just had a diagh.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
That's right, that's right away anyway, So all right, here
the picture.
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Here are the pictures. Yes, okay, so.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
I love our Eiffel Tower, Brian.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
I know that one is but like somebody's we're not centered.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
Though. It bothers me.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
I know it is. That bothered me too, because Eric
needs to be up a little bit.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
And well you, but you're off center in the photo too.
You're not even in the center anyway.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
That one, okay, and the one we're looking up so serious.
I love that one. It reminds me of a Napoleon dynamite.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
Is a good one. I like that one.
Speaker 1 (19:47):
And then this one I love. I think this one
is cute. I think that one's a winner. That one
is a winner. It's not it's cheesy, but it's also cute.
Speaker 4 (19:55):
It's it's pretty good. I don't like my double chin,
but we can.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
You know, we can fix that.
Speaker 4 (20:00):
You don't have to fix that. No, I have to
fix it.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Okay, you can fix that. Okay, okay, No, I think
it's so cute.
Speaker 4 (20:09):
It's all right. Whatever.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Watch all of me, Brian have like this, supersh.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
I would like you to make us just have nose holes.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
I know you would do that. You would make us
all white as a ship totally. That one I kind
of like to be so Eric, Eric, it looks like
you look like you're trying to recreate your old modeling days.
I'm like, this is like so lame, what the hell?
And Brian's like, why am I even here?
Speaker 4 (20:33):
This one is I don't understand, Like I don't know.
There's something about it where I'm like, it doesn't really
make sense to me that we're all looking in different
directions up in the air. But it's fine, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
It's kind of funny. It's funny. I like it, Okay,
I love the head pile is my is one of
my favorites. We had to put our head on top.
I put my head on top of Eric's on top
of his ear, and then Brian put his head on
top of my ear. The head pile, and then to
the bat to back. That's when we shows for our
ten by twenty photo just because that one is actually cute.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
But yeah, that's good. These next ones are good.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Oh yeah, that's.
Speaker 4 (21:11):
Now.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
This is like the one on the left is like
a we're siblings, like you're the older brother, Brian. It
looks like because you're at the top and then I'm
the middle kid, and then or No, that one's good.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
Yeah, it's nice, it's centered, it's proportional. Yeah, that one
is really good and I like the one of you sitting.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
You like someone. Yeah, Eric is sitting. I'm like laying
down on my stomach with my knees bent and my
feet up, and he's sitting on my feet with his
feet on my butt. If it's cute, that's cute. I
like that one.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
And I love the gray washed out background. That one
I like too. Brian, You're you have a cheesebawl h
smile and I like it. It's cute.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Oh my god' like that smiling.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
But actually that's you did a good job on that one.
Speaker 4 (21:57):
Yeah, that one's good. I wish I was a little
clo sir to you guys, or Eric was a little
more equidistant.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Can you fix that? Can you actually fix that?
Speaker 3 (22:05):
Hell, I look a little photoshop. I look a little
fruit shocking.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
No he doesn't.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
But he's not like you could beating.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
I don't even want to say what I look like
because I might get canceled.
Speaker 1 (22:23):
No, don't say it. I don't sea wait wa wait wait, wait.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Wait, let me let me just mute everything and.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Yeah, don't No, it's not that bad.
Speaker 4 (22:38):
You don't look like that.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
I do.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I think he looks I think that's cute.
Speaker 4 (22:44):
You know what he does a little bit, a little
weird angle of his face or like the position of
his eyes.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Okay, so that's the service. Okay. The next one, okay,
that's the classic hair over.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
Eric's good.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That one is good. Yeah, she did a good job
with that one, for sure. And that is like the
green like modeled, uh leaved background.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Of these next two, one of them, I absolutely.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
One of them, and one of them I absolutely love. Okay, okay,
I love both of these.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
Now.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
The one on the right is cute. That one is
aut for sure, a sibling photo. That one. You look great, Brian,
you look great, Eric, and I look, ok I look,
you look very fine.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
One on the left is so atrocious.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
It is hilarious because Brian is standing like he is
a god.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
No, I'm standing like you guys just performed at numerous
sexual brothers sexual accent and I was like, awesome, I
own these people, these these I am. I am a
pimp and these are my whorees. Like that is exactly
the right face.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I'm terrified I look like I look like Bianca s Sorry.
Speaker 4 (23:54):
And I read way too far. I know That's why
I'm saying. I think this is a terrible and she's like,
give a serious expression, and I was like, okay, that
feels that feels like a bad idea.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Post that one.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
He was like, good boy, good girl.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
Yes, it's like kinky. I hate it. It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
If he awkward, if he had about one point five
million in ice around us.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah, literally, be how.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
High my hand is. Look look how close it is.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
So Laura's always grab our chunk.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
I know, you guys look like creeps and I look
like also, my legs are like so far apart, and
it's like it's like I'm swatting and I'm like tea
bagging you guys. Oh my god, that is the hands on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
The hands on my head, like you are rolling like
your veryonette.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
I think it went from it's not awkward if we
were smiling, the awkward, but with like the looks, it
is like just kind of like a creepy.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
It's but I can't wait to post it.
Speaker 4 (24:51):
I can't no that one's not getting posted.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
We're going to put them all to a bade. Everybody
needs to see.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
All of them.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
I don't think everyone needs to see all they need
to God, if that could just damage our reputation.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
If we could, just if.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
We could just change his his T shirt to just
say pimp on it.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
I don't want to. I don't want to look like
a pimp. I got an image to protect.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
That is the best thing. That's a bad photos. Like,
I never want to let him go ever, But the
knees are on I look like.
Speaker 4 (25:24):
And you guys look like like like your traffic. You
guys look like your traffic.
Speaker 1 (25:28):
I look like I like I'm brainwashed, and I like
it looks like the trafficking looks terrified.
Speaker 4 (25:33):
I don't think it's a good vibe, right.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
I love the fact that the knees on my jeans
are all worn out from all that.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yeah, all the time you stall.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
The Malaysio that I'm performing on our producer.
Speaker 4 (25:45):
Oh my god, I think it's bad.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, that's so funny.
Speaker 4 (25:49):
I feel like I feel like she should have seen that,
Like this like is not awkward, it's weird.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Well, hey, she pushed it to the limit.
Speaker 4 (25:57):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Anyways, literally the most Yes, okay, Oh, that one that one's.
Speaker 3 (26:02):
Goods doing the wheelbarrow.
Speaker 4 (26:04):
I think that one's really good.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
That one's cute.
Speaker 3 (26:06):
Kane, do you want tickets to the Gun Show.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
I know, look, I know right at you. You Okay,
so you're gonna you're gonna love that one. You want
that one?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
That one's good. This next one is a variant of
the previous one. But I don't like the serious look.
I think it's bad. Actually, I think my face is bad.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Well you can't, you know. I like the serious looks
for the awkwardness of it, but it doesn't just it
doesn't explain our showers.
Speaker 4 (26:28):
But my face isn't actually serious, it's just bla.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Your face is like.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
Like I like, there's just not a thought.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Because nothing there. It's plaining.
Speaker 4 (26:38):
Oh my god, I was sure what serious was.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
At first, Eric kind of looks pervy, and.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Then I do, I look, yes, I do, and again
I look hypnotized.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
Yeah. Actually Eric is giving like a Hugh Hefner type like.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Oh my god, I look do whatever he's like, this
is disgusting.
Speaker 4 (26:58):
I don't like these at all. This one. This one
is like, it's not terrible, it's just not as good
as the other one.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
And then the way Laura has her back arched, I
look like I've got a big like pot belly.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
One. Okay, so we look like sexual creeps. We're gonna
use that one. But the one where Eric looks slightly overweight.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
All of these baby, all of them go up for
a vote. That's cute.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
I think the angle is just a little too high,
but other than that, it's not bad.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Eric.
Speaker 1 (27:28):
Eric is super happy in that one. We're we're all
on our stomachs with our our chins resting on our knuckles.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Of course, I'm happy. I'm not having to balance anybody.
I'm not having to pick anybody up.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
That one's good.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
That one is cute.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
That's the last one.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
That is the last one.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Okay, wait, what's what happened to the one where I'm
Brian and I are cradling you?
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:51):
That one, I don't send it to me. You know why,
because that you talk about off center like that one
was super off center. Eric. By the way, I weigh
one hundred and forty five pounds. Okay, mister, I work
out every freaking day. I could feel him literally.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
Okay. It wasn't his fault. The way the lady had
to do it was bad because I went these were
bullshe well, because we were. I went around to grab
your legs so we could like evenly distribulation, stay right there,
and I was like, but he's holding her off center
on this side, Like why would I do that?
Speaker 2 (28:21):
I was totally holding you off center, and I was
it was too heavy on one side versus the other.
Speaker 4 (28:26):
I was like, why should I, Like, I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
Drop her on her head.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
I didn't argue.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
I was so nervous.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
And then there was one where we did that the
Titanic one like where I'm oh, yeah, that one. I
forgot to send that one to you. That one's cute too.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
That was good.
Speaker 4 (28:40):
But I'll post I'm gonna revamp our website with something.
Oh yeah, actually, I think we might. I think it'd
be fine. A rebrand with these I think, oh my god,
go for it. Maybe do a logo redesign that fits
more Awkward.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Big time, because that's what we are.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
I'll mock some stuff up.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Laura Kane Awkward after Dark.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
Might as well be totally And now let's get serious
to end the podcast, Okay, because I saw this on
Instagram and for some reason, I'm on this like I've
been scrolling. You know when you scroll and you hit
on something, you know how you get Oh no, we'll
end with that Okay. You know how like you death
scroll and then like you click on something and then
(29:20):
you get things that are like that. Oh yeah, so
I clicked on something like some kind of like gratitude
thing or some kind of like rules for life type
of thing.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Of course you did, so I got this AMR or
whatever it is ASMR.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Oh yeah, Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. I'm gonna try
to say these words now. Let me. I'll probably get
canceled for this, but get canceled, no, no, no, for
what I'm gonna say. My dad was in the Air
Force and he was stationed in Japan when he was
in his late teen twenties, and so growing up, he
(30:02):
taught us some Japanese words. But the only it's like
sayonara and and uh. But the only thing I remember
is how to say big boobs oki chee cheese. Okay,
that's what my dad taught me. That's all I saw me,
(30:22):
So I thought that this would be very cheese. I
remember that song at Randy Yuki dosh song na. Oh no,
I don't even know what that means. A chakune. I'll
never forget that. Some Japanese group came in and sang
that to Randy on the Jebba Josher at one time,
(30:43):
and we played it over and over and over again,
and I'll never forget it. Where you're laughing, Okay, che cheese.
I know you would my dad. You would love my dad.
I'm not even kidding, all right, So here, let's take
a breath, like, take a breath, deep breath.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
It wasn't that fun, he eric deep bread.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Okay, you slap happy now? Yeah, kaizen, this means to
it only one percent every day, just one percent every day,
because every little change leads to life changing results. You've
been coughing like ten bill bzillion.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Times las weeks.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
But what about your medicine is working? Have you been
taking it?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
Yeah? He's just getting old.
Speaker 3 (31:37):
I'm just getting old and everything's shutting down.
Speaker 4 (31:39):
Yeah, you guys are in the sixty five plus.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Shut up. Okay, Each each ego ichi, it's not okichichi,
it's each ego ichi means that no, oh, it means
every moment is beautiful and unrepeatable.
Speaker 4 (31:56):
Wait say it again, each oh goal ichi.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
Every moment is beautiful and unreputable. So be present, Wabbi sabby.
Perfection is an illusion embraced flaws. It adds character. These
are again Japanese techniques to stop overthinking. Shakata god, nay,
accept what you cannot control, because when you do, peace follows.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
That's that's like, what's that Catholic phrase, the prayer God?
I can remember right now?
Speaker 1 (32:34):
And also with you no no, no, not that benediction hel
mariphil the lords with you.
Speaker 4 (32:40):
It's it's like, give me the strength, the wisdom.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Of oh, the serenity prayer, Oh God grant us.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Yeah, that's how many times have I said that in
my seventeen years? And I can't say it on the
spot right now, I know, dude, that's freaking me out. Okay,
can to wait? Kintsugi kintsugi. Broken pieces can be mended
together beautifully, so don't think you're bother this class. Yes.
(33:13):
And finally, ma ma means fine harmony in stillness and space, appreciate.
I don't know if the pauses in life.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
If I buy that these are the correct translations, I.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
Still like chi chi cheese, ch cheese.
Speaker 4 (33:28):
She's like, but she just has like a one syllable
to like literal least English translation phrase and she's like,
and it means this, like you know, four sentences.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I literally copied this from this from where.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Yeah, you probably just she probably is gonna be She
probably just offended.
Speaker 4 (33:47):
Everywhere she's been teaching us swear words and problems like
this means the strength to the unchangeable around.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
You should probably hold on. You probably see one of
these words. I'm gonna see how you?
Speaker 4 (34:03):
Oh my god, are you going to google the English
translation of a word you can't spell?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
He?
Speaker 1 (34:08):
Okay, okay, I E c H I c h I
I think old on? Why?
Speaker 4 (34:14):
But no, that does mean cheese.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
That does mean yes, my dad loves boobs.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
Okay, he was bootman.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
He was a bootman.
Speaker 4 (34:23):
It's fine, is it?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
K A z e n k wait? This was the
first one. K A I z e n. That means
to improve one percent each day. Little changes lead to
life changing results. Oh no, what does it say? What
does it say? Oh no, oh.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
You you were going to be so chased?
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Oh no, what does it mean? Is it Japanese?
Speaker 2 (34:58):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, you're lying.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
No, I can't say it. I'll read it to you. Okay,
it means continuous sex. No, I'm kidding. Means continuous improvement.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Oh my god, I knew it. Oh see you're a
pretty good actor. You're a pretty good actor.
Speaker 4 (35:17):
Although when I look up how to say big boobs
in Japanese, it is not what you say.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Well, maybe that's okay, what is it?
Speaker 4 (35:23):
This one says Opie.
Speaker 1 (35:25):
Maybe that's the proper word. Maybe that's like big breasts.
But like when slang, because you talk slang when you're
you know, in the military in the bars, like hooking
up with Japanese women.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Anyway, that was my childhood Oki chee cheese and all
that stuff. Anyway, all right, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day,
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine. I have you have a
great Friday. Whatever you do. I'm going to be working
and whatever, probably not getting one single thing. And you
know what, I'm fine with that. I don't even care.
(36:00):
I really don't. But Brian, you're right, this is the
year I'm going to try. Maybe I don't know when
I'm going to start trying, because every my mom says that,
every horoscope says Gemini, this is.
Speaker 4 (36:12):
My no hold on. All right, if you want to try,
that's great. I think you should. It should not be
based on anything other than if you want to and
you just actually have to do it. Horoscopes are not
going to change anything about it.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Hey, Laura, I want you to say to me tomorrow,
thank you you have a big wiener.
Speaker 4 (36:31):
What that means is that big dick?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (36:36):
Wow? You're so peru.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Predictable.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
God, Well you talked about your boobs.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
I didn't say they were mine.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
I said, well I should hope so you pay for him, dude?
Speaker 1 (36:49):
Oh my god. Well now we have to like clean
slate anyways and talk about Dune Jewelry. Oh yeah, before
we complete, but show god, dude, Tomorrow is when I
get my ring that I've been so eagerly waiting for.
Jessica at Dune Jewelry is creating it for me. She's
(37:13):
the one that has my dad sitting on her desk
his ashes because she used them for jewelry she made
for my family. This is dunejewelry dot com, where you
can make beautiful designs, silver, gold necklaces, bracelets, rings, pendants,
anything you want out of your loved one's ashes, out
(37:33):
of sand or rocks from a someone that means something
to you. Someone maybe where you were born or something
where you got engaged. A beach somewhere in the south
of France. Guaranteed. They have the sand. They have a
bank of sand, over five thousand sands and grains of
dirt from all over the world. They also have all
(37:55):
the kind of crystals you could possibly want, and all
of those have meanings to And then they have the
designs and you pick the design and you get to
custom make your ring or your necklace or your bracelet,
and is so awesome. And I've been talking with Jessica
and she's the one that's making my red ring with
my dad's ashes at the very bottom. It's going to
be so beautiful. I get it. I can't wait to
(38:17):
show you guys next week. I get out on Valentine's Day.
Oh my god, my dad's my Valentine.
Speaker 3 (38:23):
See.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
Thank you done Jewelry. Thank you, don Jewelry. I love you, guys.
And if you guys, go to Dounejewelry dot com and
you put.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
In promo code Laura Kane fifteen.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
You get fifteen pieces. Wow, I have fifteen percent off
your order.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
You're welcome completing that sentence.
Speaker 3 (38:42):
You're welcome. We love you. Juryune Jewelry.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
I just think I passed a long to you.
Speaker 3 (38:48):
I think you did. We love you.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
June Jewelry Laura Kane fifteen fifty percent off your order.
Thank you so much for being a sponsor on Laura
Cane After Dark, and thank you guys so much for watching,
and thank you so much for listening. Happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Happy Valentine's Day, Happy Valentine's Day, My love, no, thank you.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
You look and like a little sparkly heart.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Thank you. Even though I have no sparkles on, I
have a heart. I have a heart on.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
You have a heart on.
Speaker 1 (39:15):
Just say it, say it, don't spray it. Love your podcast,
Love you my sweet babies. I love you my babies. Bye.
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