March 27, 2025 • 41 mins
We kick off the show with a hearty round of “Make Laura Laugh” where Erik throws down some of his best material to try to get a giggle out of Laura, who is not a fan of jokes. She likes funny people and sarcasm and witty comebacks and that kind of thing, but dumb jokes make her annoyed. Does Erik succeed in his quest to make her laugh out loud at one of his many jokes? Plus, a Rando News report includes which states have the highest likelihood of an alien abduction. Here’s a hint…if you live on the West Coast, get ready for some probing! That gets us into a passionate debate about UFOs. Do you believe? Thanks for being part of our podcast family!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
God, do you like my hat?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Sorry? Hello, Walk of the Laura Cane after Dark. I
was just reading my co host Eric Rivers hat. Should
I say it out loud? Or should I just let people? No? Okay,
I don't want to say the word you say it.
This is what his hat says.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I begged you some shut the fuck upcakes?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Is this all like stuff from our favorite website? Where'd
you get that hat?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Online?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Where? Online?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I love it? That's Brian producer, Brian High.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
What up?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Okay? I have the biggest dose of random news, and
I have some good things in here, like I have
some life hacks that you've never heard that you're gonna love.
And the state with the highest likelihood of an alien
abduction and there was research and it's from a governmental
society or not society but an entity, and it's going
(01:17):
to freak you out?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Is it? I'm scared already?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh you guys. I can't wait to do our UFO show.
I'm I'm just I'm working on it. I want to
get somebody in here.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Working on what was there to work on?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Finding a guest?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Who is it's so credible, credible, There is no credible
source for UFOs, absolutely there is what evidence they have
to be credible.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
With former military who have actually witnessed them in their sites,
have seen them multiple times with.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
No evidence the back of the Oh have you seen
the videos? Yeah, the videos don't prove anything. Otherwise there
wouldn't be a question is whether it's see.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
This is what I'm going to try to avoid. I'm
going to what I want to do is get somebody
in here that is so knowledgeable and and you guys
are going to be believers.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Are I know what all the stuff that I've heard
all of it because I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Did you hear the latest sighting?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I've heard a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, what was in Iran?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Iran? Yeah, I don't know specifically.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But have you heard about the jellyfish looking ufo?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah? That was fake? Well that wasn't the UFO.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well it appeared again in Iran.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
You know what they are, They're milar balloons.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
This did not look This looked like a jellyfish.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
The problem is is that they're all so low quality.
In a world of four K cameras where everybody has
a four K camera, but no one can upload anything
more than four forty P.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Because by the time you realize what you're seeing, get
out your phone. It zips away because they're so.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Freaking Okay, if what I don't understand this is phenomenal.
Let's say an alien a peers right in front of
you Boom Teleportation, and you're like, I gotta get this
on video, and you whip out your phone and you
press play or you plus record. At a minimum, you
should be getting some nice HD footage. But we don't
see nice HD footage. We see VCR quality VHS quality footage.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Because I have to agree with producer brains, see.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
This is what if I just watch a lot, I
totally believe.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I know you have drink in the kool aid, but.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I believe Bob Lazar's story that he worked there and
he was inside a craft that we have nine crafts
that we've had since the early.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Do you hear that creaking sound? That's Brian's eyes rolling
into the back of his head.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
And my knees from having to sustain and withhold all this.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, Look, I love story out there. It's not even him.
There's like there's other military like one no, oh god, no,
there's been a whole bunch and have you heard of
that dude named doctor Greer.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yes, I've heard of Greer, whoa his story once again,
nothing incredible to back.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Any that he spouts out some serious knowledge. You guys,
what fine, you can drink the cool.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
My back is starting to hurt. Do you know why?
Because I'm having to carry this podcast?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Oh god?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Anyway, anyway, Oh, and I have to tell you about
my physical.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well before they said he needs to stop hanging out
with Laura so much bad for his health.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Am I bad for your health?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
No, you're good for me, baby.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
He came to see me at work on Friday to
bring me a present.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh, he had to. He had to become bring your thing
because he wouldn't stop talking about it. You were literally
like last week or like, I'm going to drive your
house right now. I'm going to drive your house right now.
He's like, oh, I might bring it to you later.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I wasn't forcing him to. He did because he loves me.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Okay, So we're gonna do make Laura laugh. See if
we can make me laugh. Generally, after you tell your
story about your physical, your doctor's wanted wait what my physical? Okay?
When was this?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It was on Friday.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Okay, now you did blood work? You did okay, how
was your blood pressure?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Everything was fine?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
The only thing that was a little weird is you
know he was giving me my physical and you know
it was the cough and all that stuff and.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
The finger up the butt thing. Yeah, all the prostrate.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Thing, great stuff. And he turns and looks at me
and he says, you know, Eric, you have got to
stop masturbating. And I'm all why and he goes, because
I'm trying to examine you.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
That's why.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Why?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Why? Why?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why? Why?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Why pick off today's.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You're Lovely?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Oh my god, furiousness. See I'm already I'm already one.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Why does this never? This always works? He always gets me.
I believe that you were going to tell me an
honest story about yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I don't condone that joke.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, I mean it is make Laura laugh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
The segment today, so well, okay, it doesn't count, No.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, it does start.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Start.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yes, this is the episode for Thursday.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
So check it's music that makes it start.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
It counts.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
There's some music and I'm here's the official start.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Oh we're doing this right now.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, we'll start the tally right.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Okay, hold on, no, we are already one in.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Oh okay, well we can argue with it. Ad one
later start.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
That was a good one. Laura, an assistant to Donald Trump,
told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There
was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions
line the parade route, cheering. When the president went past,
bands were playing chill and We're throwing confetti into the air.
(07:02):
There were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the biggest celebration
Washington had ever seen. Trump was very impressed and said,
that's really great. By the way, how did I look
in your dream? Was my hair? Okay? His assistant said,
I couldn't tell the casket was closed.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
See there we go.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Oh yeah, one, it is unexpected.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's kind of a weak punch line, and we I
don't I like to not do you apologize?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I know, but that was funny.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Unimpressed so far, all.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right, but I still got it because she laughed. So
there we go.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Now, I'm actually I have a pleasant look on my face, right,
I don't have my resting bitch face.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Your mouth is not a line. No, you're not a
Karen yet here. Okay, I'm looking.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I'm listening with open ears and a mind.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Look at you. Yes. Okay. So these three secretaries all
left the office for lunch together. As they got into
the elevator, they noticed a small pool of whitish fluid
on the floor. The brunette said, ew, is that sperm?
The redhead leaned a little closer and said, Yep, definitely sperm.
The blonde leaned down and scooped up a fingerfol After
(08:19):
tasting it, she said, well, it's certainly not anybody in
our office.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Dude, that is so sick like I'm laughing out of embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That's just kind of gross.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Too.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Oh my gosh, okay, this is Brian laugh. Oh God.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been riding all day
on a buffalo hunt. When they stopped to rest, Tonto
places his ear to the ground and listens. Buffalo come.
Tonto says, how do you know that assalone? Ranger? You're sticky?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
First of all, okay, I guess there's one.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Inappropriate racist, maybe two a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay. A vampire walks into a bar and asks the
bartender for a boiling glass of water. The bartender says,
I thought you vampires only drank blood. The vampire pulls
out a tampon and says, I'm having tea.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Ew oh man, that's gross.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Oh yeah, any joke with a tampon in it is
not a good one. Please.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when
a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them.
One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other one
couldn't quite reach.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Couldn't quite reach. It is kind of there's a funny visual.
The visual was funny, but I don't get it. Oh, well,
she can reach his dick.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I'm three out of five, so moving on.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
She couldn't reach his penis flora. I mean, that's not
really that funny, but I like the visual was funny
in my head. I laughed for a.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Nice excuse, okay. A third grade teacher asked the students
to use the word fascinate in the sentence. Mollie said,
my family went to New York City Zoo and we
saw all the animals. It was fascinating. The teacher said
that was good, but I wanted you to use the
word fascinate. Sally raised her hand and she said, my
(10:32):
family went to the Statue of Liberty and I was fascinated.
The teacher said, well, that was good, Sally, but I
want you to use the word fascinate. Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage
the word fascinate, so she called on him. Johnny said,
my sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
(10:53):
boobs are so big she can only fascinate. H I
was all right, yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Okay, that one, that one I'm gonna let pass.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, are you?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I was a little it was a little clever. Yeah, okay, good, okay.
Even got Brian on that one too.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
It was clever.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I feel like I've heard the little Johnny jokes before, though.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
But that I didn't see that. I did not see that.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I was sure. How yeah, how they would use fascinate,
So that works.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh? God, uh, put on a rain coat, swim for
your life, exactly? You can one. Oh, I mean, I'm
kind of getting the vibe of wore these jokes are going.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's a it's a theme, same joke, eight different ways.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh my gosh. What what's the difference between a vitamin
and a hormone?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Okay, you take a vitamin, but the hormones when you
have it's something about sex.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I can't make a vitamin.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Okay, that's good. I like that one. Yeah, when I
never got that one, that's good. You know that reminds
me of did you guys ever see the old Celebrity
Jeopardy the SNL Yes? And who's the guy that played
Seank Sean Connerys misread the category talk the Rapist? Yes? No,
(12:32):
that therapy my favorite one. It was let It Snow?
And he's like, I would like to do litits now
for eight hundred. That was that let It Slow? Is like, no,
t Beck, that's what you say in France. Hello, memoiselle,
I would like to see lit its now.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Who played him? Was it was? It was? It was?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
It was? I forget his name.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
He was kind of like a bald one. Was it
or was it regular character?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I know it was right. He wasn't a huge performer
and he doesn't really done a ton else. All the
Sean Conrie bets were incredible that and Norm McDonald playing
Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's working so far. It must be in a good mood. Well, no,
they must actually be funny. Finally, what do you mean,
because most jokes are just why why bother even telling them? These?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I've been surprisingly amused.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yes, okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You have a bunch over there.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, I'll look at some of these.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I know he's got like a whole. He's brought a whole.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I've got one. This one's a little edgy.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
A flight is leaving Los Angeles and the pilot gets
on it. Come and says, ladies and gentlemen, we got
beautiful fly of Los Angeles will be arriving in San
Francisco and roughly thirty minutes. But he forgets to turn
the intercom off. Shortly after, he says, man, I could
really use a cup of coffee and a hand job,
and the fly attendant goes, oh, no, I gotta, I gotta,
(14:16):
I gotta tell him that his intercom's still on, So
she sprints up the aisle. She's trying to get to
the cockpit so she can tell the pilot that hey,
stop talking like your intercom's still on, And as she's
running through the aisle, some guy yells, don't forget the coffee.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Okay, okay, ready a man. A man goes to his
doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, I also
suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one,
I give my wife oral sex. When she has an orgasm.
She tightens her legs around my head, which gets rid
of the pain. You should try it. Sometime two weeks
(14:53):
later at the man returns for a visit and the
patient tells his doctor, Hey, your suggestion work, and I'd
like to tell you that you have a very nice house. Sorry, okay,
what do you call an Italian hooker? Oh? Ho apastitute?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Prostitute?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, that's a dad joke. That well, no, not really,
that is that a dad joke.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
That's just a dad joke for older kids. Okay, that's
when dad kids are teenagers.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
What what do you call a singer with a laptop
on her head? I don't know, Adele.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
See now these are jokes I'm talking about that or
these are dad That's not even a dad joke.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
That's not that's just not funny. That is a dad joke.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen
to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer.
Oh damn it, he proclaimed, some asshole has my pen?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
All right, too bad?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Nice delivery.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, I know he.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Like rushes through the joke. I know.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, yes, give us give us some leg You know
you were the top comedian when mal Hall was in here,
so give us some like comedic timing over here.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Okay, okay, you have to look at me for this.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh god, oh god, are you gonna touch me?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Knock knock?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Who's there?
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Boo booby?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh that's the joke.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Never mind, I forgot that's I was getting my jokes
mixed up.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
It still made her loud like literally just grabbed. Oh
my god, no reason whatsoever for a joke, for a
different punch joke.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
What was It's not for any reason?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Sexual harassment?
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Call hry hold on. Hello, Yes, hr I accidentally just
pressed it brushed up against my coworker.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You crab.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I actually bust I haven't. I take issue with the
fact that he supposedly won our stand up contest.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I know, I know, but he you know.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
What, We'll say, we at least structured ours, like stand up.
He just got U there and told a fart story.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Well, you know, shows that talent.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I guess it was also not even the good fart story,
but damn it was just funny.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It worked, the delivery was good.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
It was.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Hey, he's on tour with Angela Johnson right now, all
over the place, so he's exactly So yeah, okay, played
the random news music. I have some rando news for you,
including we just talked about this last episode. The season
finale of Severnce was Friday. Hell yeah, if you could
(18:08):
get a brain implant that made you forget your entire
work day, would you do it?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
That's the premise.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, the whole point of the show is that they're miserable, right.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
But knowing what you know, would you do it to?
I wouldn't either know. That is just oh my god,
please stick with it, Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Actually, you know what, maybe if you had a cool job,
maybe that would.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Be all and you wouldn't remember it when you were
home in your regular life. You're a your audi.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
If I had a job cleaning porta potties, I would
totally do it because I would never want to remember.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There's so many problems that arise. You'll see. Yeah, okay,
so yesterday or not yesterday? Last week wasn't Actually there
was a day every Today's Taco National Taco Day, National
Palma on a day. Well, last week there was National
Abduction Alien Abduction Day. So they did a little story.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
No one been abducted by aliens?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Okay, any way, here's some data that they analyzed from
the National UFO Reporting Center and digital media reports.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on. I
have a question. They're dismantling the Department of Education. But
this is nobody's dismantling this department.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I don't think this is actually a government affiliated thing.
National does not mean government affiliated.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
I'm just this is just.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
They analyzed the.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Claims it's been they've been abducted.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
There's three people that I would really like to be
abducted never to be seen again.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Who's the third?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
M hmm, Wait, who are the first?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Sue?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Oh, I know one of them, Yeah, and then who's
the other one?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
JD and musk.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Van What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Oh? But JD Vance has such good memes come out
of his Okay, so funny.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Let's get back to what we're talking about, and that's
alien abduction. So this this, they analyzed a bunch of data.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Ohquebec, I'll take things that never happened for four.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Hundred, okay, And they found that this state, in the
whole United States, is the high has the highest likelihood
of an alien Abdutch top to Oklahoma? Are we the
top ten Arkansas? Number ten is Nevada. Duh, because that's
where the home of Hay area fifty one and apparently
(20:34):
that's where we have some alien.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Why would they be abducting people.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
There then, because it's a big whatever. Okay. Number nine
is Colorado. Number eight is Arizona. Number seven is Pennsylvania.
Number six is Texas New York. Number five. You have
a pretty good likelihood of being abducted if you live
(20:59):
in Oregon. And Florida is number three. I'm sure a
lot of those reports that come out of Florida might
not be completely legit.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
God you think so?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Washington State was number two, the number one state for
the highest likelihood of being abducted by an alien. We're
living in it California.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
And according to this entity, this reporting center, these that
came up with all this stuff. They said that the
chances of an alien abduction might be higher than you think.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Oh really, According.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
To the report, the odds of being abducted by aliens
in America approximately one in one and thirty four.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Wait, one in one thousand, that's what this report?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh god boy, your chances are so good?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Now's so that would mean we have like, like tens
of thousands of people that have been abducted.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
There are tens of thousands of reports of people you
know who you know? I just oh my Billy Corgan,
Billy coryan for Smashing Pumpkins, was doing an interview recently
where he says he witnessed a shape shifter, which is
sort of alien.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
S Also, half of all alien reports are going to
be just like LSD trips. Another half are going to
be like.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But sure sure lies cuckoo for Coca puffs people. But
there is and there are a few nuggets in there
that are damn real.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I just want to just want to say, there's never
been one verifiable or even.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
How could you how could you verify it? How could
you verify an alien? If you're if you get sucked
up in that light and they probe your butt and
they do all this stuff. You come home, you're you
go to the doctor. I would think and see what,
but they can't prove it.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
One of the most high profile alien abductions was the
one that fired in the sky was based off of
not a single one of those guys past the polygraph.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
That doesn't mean anything is quite a bit. They all
witnessed it.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Or they or they all made it up together. Easy,
there's only three of them.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Don't get me involved in this.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I already fist me.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Also, they like immediately sold the movie rights too so
and they were attempting to sell it rights. I'm thinking
made up.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
See I'm the most optimistic, like believe, naive, believe everything person,
and he's completely the one thousand person.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Opposite I want to believe. I think aliens are cool.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
They might not be, though, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I think the concept is cool, but there's just no
good evidence that they currently exist.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Things I've seen the aliens come when we are extreme
what they really were starting to come around a lot
of sightings when the nuclear stuff started happening, when we
started making the nuclear stuff. Allegedly, that's what I've been reading.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
And there's also huge reporting biases in all alien accounts.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
O my god, Oh, I want to pounce you. I
want to pounch you. I want to, I want to.
I just want to go like this.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Change the fact that I'm right.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
You're not. You don't know that I am right you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I have done actually a considerable amount of research in
this stuff. I went thro an alien phase. When what's
his face? David gersh yeah it was whoever? The guy
is the test five for Congress.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
There's a guy named Jeremy something. He's a he. I mean,
he could be a net but whatever. Hele he's a
documentary he makes films, and he's really into this alien stuff. Anyway.
He said there is something coming. It is coming, but no, like.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Literally what they've been saying for years. All right, moving on,
they said disclosure was going to happen. Doesn't like three
years ago.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
But now if Vonds gives him a cross look though,
Oh he's square enough.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh my god, any store any like checker gives you
a cross look?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
All right, Here are hobbies that men enjoy but hide
from everybody, which ones are these you do?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And I know you do one of them. I know
one hundred percent you do it every night. Stuffed animals
and plushies like squish mellows on my bed. Nope, No,
I secretly love motivational quotes.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No, I like quotes, but not motivational ones. They'll suck.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Bubble baths.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, shower guy, showers are amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Love is blind.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Nope. Y sewing, Actually I wish I knew this. So
I got a button I need to fix on a jacket.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I can fix it.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
You can sew see Then, yeah, you don't, but you
don't like I don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So so baking I like cooking.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That's not the same as baking.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I like baking.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
I like baking.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Then you don't like. Okay, okay, enjoy like liking bands
like Backstreet Boys, in Sync boy band fan. No, I'm
a thirty something white suburban dad. This is one answer.
And I love raunchy music like Nicki Minaj, and I
love Taylor Swift, and I love Katie Perry.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Those people. Actually I have questions about I like Katy Perry.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Romantic comedies.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Yes, I went through romantic comedy. Face. Really, that was
a long time ago. This is like seventeen year old me,
and my phase was like I watched five of them.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Oh that was a short and then you were done, and.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I was like, these are really stupid.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
They're so friend I.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Know, fruity cocktails.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Oh yeah, those are great romance novels.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
No petticures have you ever had?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
I have?
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Oh they're so nice.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I'm sure they are. I don't like care that much.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Playing with my cat, watching elephant cat and dog videos. No, no,
and classical music Lord of the Rings type of music.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I do love classical music.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, well that's not like a brilliant that's not.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Great.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I like Andrea but okay, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Look at you. Okay, now finally what phrase it knows
you every time you hear it.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Oh god, literally, there's so many here we go.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I'm living my blank era, living my best life. Wait,
what's the era whatever, I'm living my lego era, I'm
living my dating era. I'm living my you know whatever,
my my my crocheting era. Gas mostly because people don't
(28:02):
use it, right, That's very true.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
No one knows what gaslighting means.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
What is the correct definition? Off the top of your.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Head, gaslighting comes from a movie called gas It's called gaslight,
where basically it's convincing someone that they're crazy for believing
something that's obviously true. It's can no yeah about them
or no, just in general, it is trying to convince
someone that they're crazy for believing something that's obviously true. No.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Gaslighting is like, let's say I say to Laura, you
know what you did two weeks ago when you didn't
return my call and I got stuck at the gas
station when I never actually called you, So making things up, yeah,
and then making somebody believe it, or taking taking a
(28:55):
portion of a truth and making someone well feel like.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Well yeah, but it has to be saying that's obviously true.
And that's where the the tricky part is is that
people will use it for something they think is obviously true,
but it's not actually necessarily true, so it's not gaslighting. Like,
for example, if you were like like, god, this sky
is really blue today, I'm like, or the sky's not
blue at all, it's green, Like don't be crazy, and
you're like, no, the sky's ly blue, and then I'm like, no, no,
the sky is green, Like stop being insane. And I
(29:23):
was like doing this forever. That's what like the movie
is that I think the guy is turning down this
the gas lamp and this stairwell slowly over time, and
she's like, the light is going out. He's like, no,
you're crazy, Light's fine. Okay, forget what the purpose is.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
So here's the definition manipulate someone using psychological methods into
questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. And it
is from a movie called Gaslight.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah. I think the context is there was this there
was lily, a gas lamp that this guy was. It
was like a husband and wife, and he kept turning
it down and convincing her that it was fine.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Okay, okay, So I have definitely it wrong.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Yeah, everyone uses it wrong and it annoys me to
no end.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
What about when people say, hubby hate that wifey priggers.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
No, dog o, that's funny sometimes, what doggo? Who says
that if you use ironically, sometimes it's funny for baby?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
How about I did a thing? Or there's no such
thing as a stupid question, because.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I think you know what there are? There are, but
I think encouraging people to just ask questions, I'll give
it a.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Pass, finishing every sentence with you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
It's just validation.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
But ever since yeah, not all heroes wear capes.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Oh god, a cliche at this point, pov of everything.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
It's yeah, I love that for you.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I hate that. I hate I just want to point
out these are all phrases that, like women say to
each other. Men have not said half these things.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Oh they say this though well played.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
I mean, we'll played ever so well play. It's a
good phrase. I think well played. It's okay.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I think you may have No why is.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
That like a cringe phrase?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It's just it doesn't annoy you when you that doesn't
annoy me, Like saying saying in place of saying that
you agree with something, saying.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
This no once again, that is a woman thing.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And I was today years old when oh, hell no.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Sometimes that's funny, but most time it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
That is annoying. Like if you're if you say to somebody,
how old is your baby? In they're all nine and
seventy two months old, You're like, god, bless America. Just
say they're seventeen, like or whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I think that's a little different.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But I'm like, if they're thirty six months, yeah, I'm like,
if they're over a year. Say they're a year and that.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Used to bug me when I had little, tiny kids too.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
That bugged me then to drive me crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
I agree with you. I totally agree with you. Okay, guys, anyway,
I'm taking off because I'm going to l A. I'm
taping a game show tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Friday for what.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Let's make a deal, let's make it's going to be
social media. I'm coming home with a car and a trip.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Do you even know if you're getting chosen to be
on the show.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's why I auditioned. I am one of the contestants.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
You're either coming home with a car and a trip,
or you're coming home with a lifetime supply of like
Jimmy Dean sausage.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
We'll see if they if you even make the cut.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I might be in front of the producers and the
there's a chance to go up there, And there is
that chance. Yes, but I did have to. I had
to audition in front of a producer.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Price is right where you just show up and maybe
they call your number.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Oh my god, I did the prices right.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I did too, and I won. I was on the
process right. I want a trip to Nice, France, that was.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
The dumbest thing I've ever done. I loved it because
I hated it.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
So that was way back when.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Anyways, Okay, I hope you win.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
I don't think you will that so did you? You know?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Like so mean?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I'm just being honest.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
I will, I will.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Don't you think I have luck? Don't you think I
have any kind of luck at all?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Make good? Which is a struggle.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
So good.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Look, I want you to win as much as you can.
I'm just not real optimistic about it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm just nervous.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Okay, give me the percentage I win something, I come
home with nothing. What's the percentage if.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
You win something? She's going to stop by the casino
on the way home.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Who cares about what I do?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Oh? On cares?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Likelihood? No, what's the likelihood of me winning or coming
home on that thing?
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
What's win?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I want to know what he thinks I'm gonna I'm
gonna say there's gonna be a fifty to fifty chance.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
What that's high? Honestly, maybe you could win like two bucks, But.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
What I believe in you?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
What are the odds that she wins? To say, like
a substantial amount of money.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Mmm, I'm gonna say, knowing you like I do, I'm
gonna say she's gonna get impulsive and she's going to
pick the life type supply of Jimmy Dean's sausage.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
You know, if I had to put if I had
to put money on it, what you do is that
you would be like up for like tenth grand. You'd
like awesome, and you'd like somehow lose it all. I
don't know how. Let's make it deal works, but you'd.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Lose it all, all right, you know what? Right now,
let's put money on it.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Okay, if I'm right, you have to give me all
everything you win?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
No, okay? How much are you willing to pony up?
You think you? Okay? You want to make a bet?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
That's such a those are such low odds once that
I would need like a serious return on that.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
No, if I come home with nothing, or if I
come on with a prize.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Oh, just in general.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yes, you want to put a twenty on it.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
I'll put a fifty on it. Oh dang, you can
need twenty though, twenty is reasonable. You know what, I'm
putting twenty on nothing. I'm going for the fifty okay,
fifty on nothing, wait fift, hold on, because if I
come back with like five bucks, that's not a win.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I won't come home with.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Fine, if you win more than one hundred dollars, then
I get the face and I'll give you fifty bucks.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
If with nothing but like a like a souvenir pin
or something, I.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Don't I think you'll get that. Also, we're adding in taxes.
So if if the after tax amount is not more.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Than nothing, okay, okay, okay, ten.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Grand or something.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
All right, well get over here right now because we
have to shake on camera.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Shake.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
No, that's annoying. Fine, I'm getting up.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Oh boy, it real, Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I when if I ever renigged on a bet. What's
the phrase renigged? Yeah, renigged on a bit. I think
you'll be lucky if you even get on air.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Get meaner, meaner.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
No, it's not you, it's just not problem.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Put it in the universe. I'm gonna win something huge
and Brian's gonna eat crow.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
But it's like if okay, it's like oh im tomorrow,
I'm driving up down to the prices right they're taping here.
What do you think or the odds will win something.
I'm like, it's low odds you'll even get on the show,
So you know today should be mean?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Did I ever tell you when I had to go
through the audition process for the prices right, what.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Happened if they don't do they even audition? I thought,
you just know you for.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
The price is right? You go up in groups of
like six, it's just if.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
They call you.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
No, yes, no, Brian, We've both done it.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
You have to audition for the producers and then they're looking.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Before you go into the audience.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Yeah, so before you even go into the six at
a time. Yeah, And then you go up individually. And
there's a guy with all his I called him the
Robert Palmer girls because they all stood around him with clipboards.
And I had such a migraine the day that I
went that I didn't even care. So there's they're like,
(37:12):
tell us something interesting about.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, what is your name? What do you do? And
you can have to show you personality exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
And I couldn't have given a flying f. So I
got seated in literally the farthest back corner of the theater,
and the people I were with were like, hey, if
we if we go to the second showcase we double
you know, because of course none of us got on,
so we had to go through that whole dog and
(37:39):
pony show again. So I go through, turn it up
at least a little bit. They're like, so, tell us
something interesting about yourself, and as dead pan as I could,
I'm like, I do hardcore gay porn. And they all
just they all looked at me and they were like, okay,
at this at this point, I'm in I'm in the corner,
(38:01):
the very last row corner, right next to the curtains,
where I promptly passed out and fell asleep and security
had to wake me up when the show was over.
It I didn't show with me give a flying look.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
That's why you go up there at five in the morning.
You avoid in line and then you do the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
But there is no casting call. They just vet you
in line basically.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
But there was a casting call for this one.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
That doesn't mean a whole lot more.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It does, so I had to go through I to
do a whole.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Well, is there a guarantee that you will be on
the show?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I believe there is, Yes, okay, yes there is. And
then the person I bring as a guest. There's no
guarantee that that person, even though they have to dress
in costume, will be it.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
See I would have never gotten on. They would have
been like, tell us something interesting about yourself, and I'm like,
just grow yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
He just would have had his fate, his normal face on,
and they'd be like.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Oh, he's like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I like to sleep a long where I don't where
I don't get excited about anything. And then they're like, oh, that's.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Not gonna be funnybody, but you but you are You could?
I mean you could.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
They have no idea. What a delight I am?
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I know.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
All right anyway, so I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
And my response would be like watch our podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Awesome, okay, next week, Yes you'll have I'm either going
to have to give or I'm going to get a
fifty dollars bill.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
If you get ten thousand dollars, I'm gonna ask for
some of it.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Oh my god, I I'm coming back. You know what.
I love this. I love that you put this challenge
on me because now I'm like fueled and I'm going
to fuel my crystals.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I'm out in the universe. If I ever won ten
thousand dollars on a game show. I'd give you each grand.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
I probably would.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Really, I'd get Brian a grand. If I want something
else that's fun.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I wouldn't give you guys.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
That's because you I need it.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Brian, I'd give you a grand.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
You Why wouldn't you give me a grand?
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Because you wouldn't give me a grand?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Oh, that's right. I'll buy you, guys, something fun, like
what I'll buy dinner?
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Now, I could buy myself dinner.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
What do you want? Okay, okay, it's fine, all right.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
I know who my real friends are. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I'll pay you for your Netflix subscription for one month.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I'll get you on those little Target cards. It's like
one free month of Netflix. Yeah, about your god and
a outback steakhouse.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I'll get her a five dollars Starbucks gift card.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah. If I win two dollars fifty cents to left
on it.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Various things which there's a chance I could win, like
a corner cole of things that or there's like a
little there could be like little things. There could a
TV or whatever. Whatever. If I have like a little
a few things, I will give you each something.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Okay, you do know you have to pay taxes on everything, right, Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Sir, I know that. I remember that from when I
won the eight thousand dollars trip to Nie Friends. Like, No,
it wasn't that big. It was way back then.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
I think now it's forty.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Well, anyway, wish me luck.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
It's gonna be good luck.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
I can't wait till she wins like a super nice
car and then she gets a bill for like fifty
thousand dollars for the tax I don't care.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
That'd be so fun to anyway. I love you, guys,
and we'll talk on Monday, our live show Tuesday when
it drops next week, this one. Whatever you're listening now,
I get on even more what I'm saying anymore. And
I love your podcast.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
I love you so much.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I told myself i'd sit on my hands from now
on because I talk too much with my hands. I like,
it's really annoy boy.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Well that looks awkward. No, no, no not at all? Not?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Does it?
Speaker 3 (41:47):
All right? Good night? Everything?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Love a podcast, Okay, always try to say that. Love you,
my sweet babies. Bye,
God, do you like my hat?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Sorry? Hello, Walk of the Laura Cane after Dark. I
was just reading my co host Eric Rivers hat. Should
I say it out loud? Or should I just let people? No? Okay,
I don't want to say the word you say it.
This is what his hat says.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I begged you some shut the fuck upcakes?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Is this all like stuff from our favorite website? Where'd
you get that hat?
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Online?
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Where? Online?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
I love it? That's Brian producer, Brian High.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
What up?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Okay? I have the biggest dose of random news, and
I have some good things in here, like I have
some life hacks that you've never heard that you're gonna love.
And the state with the highest likelihood of an alien
abduction and there was research and it's from a governmental
society or not society but an entity, and it's going
(01:17):
to freak you out?
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Is it? I'm scared already?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh you guys. I can't wait to do our UFO show.
I'm I'm just I'm working on it. I want to
get somebody in here.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
Working on what was there to work on?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Finding a guest?
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Who is it's so credible, credible, There is no credible
source for UFOs, absolutely there is what evidence they have
to be credible.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
With former military who have actually witnessed them in their sites,
have seen them multiple times with.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
No evidence the back of the Oh have you seen
the videos? Yeah, the videos don't prove anything. Otherwise there
wouldn't be a question is whether it's see.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
This is what I'm going to try to avoid. I'm
going to what I want to do is get somebody
in here that is so knowledgeable and and you guys
are going to be believers.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Are I know what all the stuff that I've heard
all of it because I think it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Did you hear the latest sighting?
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I've heard a lot of them.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, what was in Iran?
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Iran? Yeah, I don't know specifically.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
But have you heard about the jellyfish looking ufo?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yeah? That was fake? Well that wasn't the UFO.
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Well it appeared again in Iran.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
You know what they are, They're milar balloons.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
This did not look This looked like a jellyfish.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
The problem is is that they're all so low quality.
In a world of four K cameras where everybody has
a four K camera, but no one can upload anything
more than four forty P.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Because by the time you realize what you're seeing, get
out your phone. It zips away because they're so.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
Freaking Okay, if what I don't understand this is phenomenal.
Let's say an alien a peers right in front of
you Boom Teleportation, and you're like, I gotta get this
on video, and you whip out your phone and you
press play or you plus record. At a minimum, you
should be getting some nice HD footage. But we don't
see nice HD footage. We see VCR quality VHS quality footage.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Because I have to agree with producer brains, see.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
This is what if I just watch a lot, I
totally believe.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
I know you have drink in the kool aid, but.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
I believe Bob Lazar's story that he worked there and
he was inside a craft that we have nine crafts
that we've had since the early.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Do you hear that creaking sound? That's Brian's eyes rolling
into the back of his head.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
And my knees from having to sustain and withhold all this.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Okay, Look, I love story out there. It's not even him.
There's like there's other military like one no, oh god, no,
there's been a whole bunch and have you heard of
that dude named doctor Greer.
Speaker 3 (03:53):
Yes, I've heard of Greer, whoa his story once again,
nothing incredible to back.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Any that he spouts out some serious knowledge. You guys,
what fine, you can drink the cool.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
My back is starting to hurt. Do you know why?
Because I'm having to carry this podcast?
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Oh god?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Anyway, anyway, Oh, and I have to tell you about
my physical.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Well before they said he needs to stop hanging out
with Laura so much bad for his health.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Am I bad for your health?
Speaker 1 (04:27):
No, you're good for me, baby.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
He came to see me at work on Friday to
bring me a present.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Oh, he had to. He had to become bring your thing
because he wouldn't stop talking about it. You were literally
like last week or like, I'm going to drive your
house right now. I'm going to drive your house right now.
He's like, oh, I might bring it to you later.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I wasn't forcing him to. He did because he loves me.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Okay, So we're gonna do make Laura laugh. See if
we can make me laugh. Generally, after you tell your
story about your physical, your doctor's wanted wait what my physical? Okay?
When was this?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
It was on Friday.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Okay, now you did blood work? You did okay, how
was your blood pressure?
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Everything was fine?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
The only thing that was a little weird is you
know he was giving me my physical and you know
it was the cough and all that stuff and.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
The finger up the butt thing. Yeah, all the prostrate.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Thing, great stuff. And he turns and looks at me
and he says, you know, Eric, you have got to
stop masturbating. And I'm all why and he goes, because
I'm trying to examine you.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
That's why.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Why?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Why? Why?
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why? Why?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Why?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Why?
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Why pick off today's.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
You're Lovely?
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Oh my god, furiousness. See I'm already I'm already one.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Why does this never? This always works? He always gets me.
I believe that you were going to tell me an
honest story about yourself.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
I don't condone that joke.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, I mean it is make Laura laugh.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
The segment today, so well, okay, it doesn't count, No.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yes, it does start.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Start.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yes, this is the episode for Thursday.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
So check it's music that makes it start.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
It counts.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
There's some music and I'm here's the official start.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Oh we're doing this right now.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Yeah, we'll start the tally right.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Okay, hold on, no, we are already one in.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Oh okay, well we can argue with it. Ad one
later start.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
That was a good one. Laura, an assistant to Donald Trump,
told him she had a fantastic dream last night. There
was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump. Millions
line the parade route, cheering. When the president went past,
bands were playing chill and We're throwing confetti into the air.
(07:02):
There were balloons everywhere. It was absolutely the biggest celebration
Washington had ever seen. Trump was very impressed and said,
that's really great. By the way, how did I look
in your dream? Was my hair? Okay? His assistant said,
I couldn't tell the casket was closed.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
I didn't see that coming.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
See there we go.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Oh yeah, one, it is unexpected.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
It's kind of a weak punch line, and we I
don't I like to not do you apologize?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I know, but that was funny.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Unimpressed so far, all.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Right, but I still got it because she laughed. So
there we go.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Now, I'm actually I have a pleasant look on my face, right,
I don't have my resting bitch face.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
Your mouth is not a line. No, you're not a
Karen yet here. Okay, I'm looking.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I'm listening with open ears and a mind.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Look at you. Yes. Okay. So these three secretaries all
left the office for lunch together. As they got into
the elevator, they noticed a small pool of whitish fluid
on the floor. The brunette said, ew, is that sperm?
The redhead leaned a little closer and said, Yep, definitely sperm.
The blonde leaned down and scooped up a fingerfol After
(08:19):
tasting it, she said, well, it's certainly not anybody in
our office.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Dude, that is so sick like I'm laughing out of embarrassment.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
That's just kind of gross.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Too.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Oh my gosh, okay, this is Brian laugh. Oh God.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
The Lone Ranger and Tonto have been riding all day
on a buffalo hunt. When they stopped to rest, Tonto
places his ear to the ground and listens. Buffalo come.
Tonto says, how do you know that assalone? Ranger? You're sticky?
Speaker 3 (09:02):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
First of all, okay, I guess there's one.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Inappropriate racist, maybe two a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Okay. A vampire walks into a bar and asks the
bartender for a boiling glass of water. The bartender says,
I thought you vampires only drank blood. The vampire pulls
out a tampon and says, I'm having tea.
Speaker 3 (09:27):
Ew oh man, that's gross.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Oh yeah, any joke with a tampon in it is
not a good one. Please.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench when
a man in a trench coat came up and flashed them.
One old lady immediately had a stroke. The other one
couldn't quite reach.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
Couldn't quite reach. It is kind of there's a funny visual.
The visual was funny, but I don't get it. Oh, well,
she can reach his dick.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
I'm three out of five, so moving on.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
She couldn't reach his penis flora. I mean, that's not
really that funny, but I like the visual was funny
in my head. I laughed for a.
Speaker 1 (10:12):
Nice excuse, okay. A third grade teacher asked the students
to use the word fascinate in the sentence. Mollie said,
my family went to New York City Zoo and we
saw all the animals. It was fascinating. The teacher said
that was good, but I wanted you to use the
word fascinate. Sally raised her hand and she said, my
(10:32):
family went to the Statue of Liberty and I was fascinated.
The teacher said, well, that was good, Sally, but I
want you to use the word fascinate. Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for his bad language.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage
the word fascinate, so she called on him. Johnny said,
my sister has a sweater with ten buttons, but her
(10:53):
boobs are so big she can only fascinate. H I
was all right, yeah, there we go.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Okay, that one, that one I'm gonna let pass.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, are you?
Speaker 2 (11:09):
I was a little it was a little clever. Yeah, okay, good, okay.
Even got Brian on that one too.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
It was clever.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
I feel like I've heard the little Johnny jokes before, though.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
But that I didn't see that. I did not see that.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I was sure. How yeah, how they would use fascinate,
So that works.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Oh? God, uh, put on a rain coat, swim for
your life, exactly? You can one. Oh, I mean, I'm
kind of getting the vibe of wore these jokes are going.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
It's a it's a theme, same joke, eight different ways.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Oh my gosh. What what's the difference between a vitamin
and a hormone?
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Okay, you take a vitamin, but the hormones when you
have it's something about sex.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
I can't make a vitamin.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Okay, that's good. I like that one. Yeah, when I
never got that one, that's good. You know that reminds
me of did you guys ever see the old Celebrity
Jeopardy the SNL Yes? And who's the guy that played
Seank Sean Connerys misread the category talk the Rapist? Yes? No,
(12:32):
that therapy my favorite one. It was let It Snow?
And he's like, I would like to do litits now
for eight hundred. That was that let It Slow? Is like, no,
t Beck, that's what you say in France. Hello, memoiselle,
I would like to see lit its now.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Who played him? Was it was? It was? It was?
Speaker 3 (12:53):
It was? I forget his name.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
He was kind of like a bald one. Was it
or was it regular character?
Speaker 3 (13:01):
I know it was right. He wasn't a huge performer
and he doesn't really done a ton else. All the
Sean Conrie bets were incredible that and Norm McDonald playing
Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
It's working so far. It must be in a good mood. Well, no,
they must actually be funny. Finally, what do you mean,
because most jokes are just why why bother even telling them? These?
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Are you?
Speaker 2 (13:31):
I've been surprisingly amused.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yes, okay, let's see.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
You have a bunch over there.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, I'll look at some of these.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I know he's got like a whole. He's brought a whole.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I've got one. This one's a little edgy.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 3 (13:56):
A flight is leaving Los Angeles and the pilot gets
on it. Come and says, ladies and gentlemen, we got
beautiful fly of Los Angeles will be arriving in San
Francisco and roughly thirty minutes. But he forgets to turn
the intercom off. Shortly after, he says, man, I could
really use a cup of coffee and a hand job,
and the fly attendant goes, oh, no, I gotta, I gotta,
(14:16):
I gotta tell him that his intercom's still on, So
she sprints up the aisle. She's trying to get to
the cockpit so she can tell the pilot that hey,
stop talking like your intercom's still on, And as she's
running through the aisle, some guy yells, don't forget the coffee.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
Okay, okay, ready a man. A man goes to his
doctor complaining about migraines. His doctor tells him, I also
suffer from the same ailment. Every time I get one,
I give my wife oral sex. When she has an orgasm.
She tightens her legs around my head, which gets rid
of the pain. You should try it. Sometime two weeks
(14:53):
later at the man returns for a visit and the
patient tells his doctor, Hey, your suggestion work, and I'd
like to tell you that you have a very nice house. Sorry, okay,
what do you call an Italian hooker? Oh? Ho apastitute?
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Prostitute?
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Okay, that's a dad joke. That well, no, not really,
that is that a dad joke.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
That's just a dad joke for older kids. Okay, that's
when dad kids are teenagers.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
What what do you call a singer with a laptop
on her head? I don't know, Adele.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
See now these are jokes I'm talking about that or
these are dad That's not even a dad joke.
Speaker 3 (15:50):
That's not that's just not funny. That is a dad joke.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen
to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer.
Oh damn it, he proclaimed, some asshole has my pen?
Speaker 3 (16:04):
All right, too bad?
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Nice delivery.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
You're welcome.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Okay, I know he.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Like rushes through the joke. I know.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Okay, yes, give us give us some leg You know
you were the top comedian when mal Hall was in here,
so give us some like comedic timing over here.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Okay, okay, you have to look at me for this.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Oh god, oh god, are you gonna touch me?
Speaker 1 (16:34):
Knock knock?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Who's there?
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Boo booby?
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh that's the joke.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Never mind, I forgot that's I was getting my jokes
mixed up.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
It still made her loud like literally just grabbed. Oh
my god, no reason whatsoever for a joke, for a
different punch joke.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
What was It's not for any reason?
Speaker 3 (17:01):
Sexual harassment?
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Call hry hold on. Hello, Yes, hr I accidentally just
pressed it brushed up against my coworker.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
You crab.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
I actually bust I haven't. I take issue with the
fact that he supposedly won our stand up contest.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
I know, I know, but he you know.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
What, We'll say, we at least structured ours, like stand up.
He just got U there and told a fart story.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Well, you know, shows that talent.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
I guess it was also not even the good fart story,
but damn it was just funny.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
It worked, the delivery was good.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
It was.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Hey, he's on tour with Angela Johnson right now, all
over the place, so he's exactly So yeah, okay, played
the random news music. I have some rando news for you,
including we just talked about this last episode. The season
finale of Severnce was Friday. Hell yeah, if you could
(18:08):
get a brain implant that made you forget your entire
work day, would you do it?
Speaker 3 (18:14):
No?
Speaker 2 (18:15):
That's the premise.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, the whole point of the show is that they're miserable, right.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
But knowing what you know, would you do it to?
I wouldn't either know. That is just oh my god,
please stick with it, Oh my god, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Actually, you know what, maybe if you had a cool job,
maybe that would.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Be all and you wouldn't remember it when you were
home in your regular life. You're a your audi.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
If I had a job cleaning porta potties, I would
totally do it because I would never want to remember.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There's so many problems that arise. You'll see. Yeah, okay,
so yesterday or not yesterday? Last week wasn't Actually there
was a day every Today's Taco National Taco Day, National
Palma on a day. Well, last week there was National
Abduction Alien Abduction Day. So they did a little story.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
No one been abducted by aliens?
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Okay, any way, here's some data that they analyzed from
the National UFO Reporting Center and digital media reports.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on. I
have a question. They're dismantling the Department of Education. But
this is nobody's dismantling this department.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
I don't think this is actually a government affiliated thing.
National does not mean government affiliated.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
I'm just this is just.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
They analyzed the.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Claims it's been they've been abducted.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
There's three people that I would really like to be
abducted never to be seen again.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Who's the third?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
M hmm, Wait, who are the first?
Speaker 1 (19:49):
Sue?
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Oh, I know one of them, Yeah, and then who's
the other one?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
JD and musk.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Van What are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (20:00):
Oh? But JD Vance has such good memes come out
of his Okay, so funny.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Let's get back to what we're talking about, and that's
alien abduction. So this this, they analyzed a bunch of data.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Ohquebec, I'll take things that never happened for four.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Hundred, okay, And they found that this state, in the
whole United States, is the high has the highest likelihood
of an alien Abdutch top to Oklahoma? Are we the
top ten Arkansas? Number ten is Nevada. Duh, because that's
where the home of Hay area fifty one and apparently
(20:34):
that's where we have some alien.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Why would they be abducting people.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
There then, because it's a big whatever. Okay. Number nine
is Colorado. Number eight is Arizona. Number seven is Pennsylvania.
Number six is Texas New York. Number five. You have
a pretty good likelihood of being abducted if you live
(20:59):
in Oregon. And Florida is number three. I'm sure a
lot of those reports that come out of Florida might
not be completely legit.
Speaker 3 (21:07):
God you think so?
Speaker 1 (21:09):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (21:10):
Washington State was number two, the number one state for
the highest likelihood of being abducted by an alien. We're
living in it California.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
And according to this entity, this reporting center, these that
came up with all this stuff. They said that the
chances of an alien abduction might be higher than you think.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Oh really, According.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
To the report, the odds of being abducted by aliens
in America approximately one in one and thirty four.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Wait, one in one thousand, that's what this report?
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh god boy, your chances are so good?
Speaker 3 (21:49):
Now's so that would mean we have like, like tens
of thousands of people that have been abducted.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
There are tens of thousands of reports of people you
know who you know? I just oh my Billy Corgan,
Billy coryan for Smashing Pumpkins, was doing an interview recently
where he says he witnessed a shape shifter, which is
sort of alien.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
S Also, half of all alien reports are going to
be just like LSD trips. Another half are going to
be like.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
But sure sure lies cuckoo for Coca puffs people. But
there is and there are a few nuggets in there
that are damn real.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
I just want to just want to say, there's never
been one verifiable or even.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
How could you how could you verify it? How could
you verify an alien? If you're if you get sucked
up in that light and they probe your butt and
they do all this stuff. You come home, you're you
go to the doctor. I would think and see what,
but they can't prove it.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
One of the most high profile alien abductions was the
one that fired in the sky was based off of
not a single one of those guys past the polygraph.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
That doesn't mean anything is quite a bit. They all
witnessed it.
Speaker 3 (23:03):
Or they or they all made it up together. Easy,
there's only three of them.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Don't get me involved in this.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I already fist me.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Also, they like immediately sold the movie rights too so
and they were attempting to sell it rights. I'm thinking
made up.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
See I'm the most optimistic, like believe, naive, believe everything person,
and he's completely the one thousand person.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Opposite I want to believe. I think aliens are cool.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
They might not be, though, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
I think the concept is cool, but there's just no
good evidence that they currently exist.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Things I've seen the aliens come when we are extreme
what they really were starting to come around a lot
of sightings when the nuclear stuff started happening, when we
started making the nuclear stuff. Allegedly, that's what I've been reading.
Speaker 3 (23:52):
And there's also huge reporting biases in all alien accounts.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
O my god, Oh, I want to pounce you. I
want to pounch you. I want to, I want to.
I just want to go like this.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Change the fact that I'm right.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
You're not. You don't know that I am right you.
Speaker 3 (24:08):
I have done actually a considerable amount of research in
this stuff. I went thro an alien phase. When what's
his face? David gersh yeah it was whoever? The guy
is the test five for Congress.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
There's a guy named Jeremy something. He's a he. I mean,
he could be a net but whatever. Hele he's a
documentary he makes films, and he's really into this alien stuff. Anyway.
He said there is something coming. It is coming, but no, like.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Literally what they've been saying for years. All right, moving on,
they said disclosure was going to happen. Doesn't like three
years ago.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I don't like it.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
But now if Vonds gives him a cross look though,
Oh he's square enough.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Oh my god, any store any like checker gives you
a cross look?
Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Whatever?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
All right, Here are hobbies that men enjoy but hide
from everybody, which ones are these you do?
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (25:16):
And I know you do one of them. I know
one hundred percent you do it every night. Stuffed animals
and plushies like squish mellows on my bed. Nope, No,
I secretly love motivational quotes.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No, I like quotes, but not motivational ones. They'll suck.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Bubble baths.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, shower guy, showers are amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Love is blind.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Nope. Y sewing, Actually I wish I knew this. So
I got a button I need to fix on a jacket.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
I can fix it.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
You can sew see Then, yeah, you don't, but you
don't like I don't do it.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
So so baking I like cooking.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That's not the same as baking.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
I like baking.
Speaker 3 (26:00):
I like baking.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Then you don't like. Okay, okay, enjoy like liking bands
like Backstreet Boys, in Sync boy band fan. No, I'm
a thirty something white suburban dad. This is one answer.
And I love raunchy music like Nicki Minaj, and I
love Taylor Swift, and I love Katie Perry.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Those people. Actually I have questions about I like Katy Perry.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Romantic comedies.
Speaker 3 (26:30):
Yes, I went through romantic comedy. Face. Really, that was
a long time ago. This is like seventeen year old me,
and my phase was like I watched five of them.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Oh that was a short and then you were done, and.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
I was like, these are really stupid.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
They're so friend I.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Know, fruity cocktails.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Oh yeah, those are great romance novels.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
No petticures have you ever had?
Speaker 1 (26:56):
I have?
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Oh they're so nice.
Speaker 3 (26:59):
I'm sure they are. I don't like care that much.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Playing with my cat, watching elephant cat and dog videos. No, no,
and classical music Lord of the Rings type of music.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
I do love classical music.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
Yeah, well that's not like a brilliant that's not.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Great.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I like Andrea but okay, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
Look at you. Okay, now finally what phrase it knows
you every time you hear it.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Oh god, literally, there's so many here we go.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
I'm living my blank era, living my best life. Wait,
what's the era whatever, I'm living my lego era, I'm
living my dating era. I'm living my you know whatever,
my my my crocheting era. Gas mostly because people don't
(28:02):
use it, right, That's very true.
Speaker 3 (28:03):
No one knows what gaslighting means.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
What is the correct definition? Off the top of your.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
Head, gaslighting comes from a movie called gas It's called gaslight,
where basically it's convincing someone that they're crazy for believing
something that's obviously true. It's can no yeah about them
or no, just in general, it is trying to convince
someone that they're crazy for believing something that's obviously true. No.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Gaslighting is like, let's say I say to Laura, you
know what you did two weeks ago when you didn't
return my call and I got stuck at the gas
station when I never actually called you, So making things up, yeah,
and then making somebody believe it, or taking taking a
(28:55):
portion of a truth and making someone well feel like.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Well yeah, but it has to be saying that's obviously true.
And that's where the the tricky part is is that
people will use it for something they think is obviously true,
but it's not actually necessarily true, so it's not gaslighting. Like,
for example, if you were like like, god, this sky
is really blue today, I'm like, or the sky's not
blue at all, it's green, Like don't be crazy, and
you're like, no, the sky's ly blue, and then I'm like, no, no,
the sky is green, Like stop being insane. And I
(29:23):
was like doing this forever. That's what like the movie
is that I think the guy is turning down this
the gas lamp and this stairwell slowly over time, and
she's like, the light is going out. He's like, no,
you're crazy, Light's fine. Okay, forget what the purpose is.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
So here's the definition manipulate someone using psychological methods into
questioning their own sanity or powers of reasoning. And it
is from a movie called Gaslight.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Yeah. I think the context is there was this there
was lily, a gas lamp that this guy was. It
was like a husband and wife, and he kept turning
it down and convincing her that it was fine.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Okay, okay, So I have definitely it wrong.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Yeah, everyone uses it wrong and it annoys me to
no end.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
What about when people say, hubby hate that wifey priggers.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
No, dog o, that's funny sometimes, what doggo? Who says
that if you use ironically, sometimes it's funny for baby?
Speaker 2 (30:20):
How about I did a thing? Or there's no such
thing as a stupid question, because.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
I think you know what there are? There are, but
I think encouraging people to just ask questions, I'll give
it a.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Pass, finishing every sentence with you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (30:41):
It's just validation.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
But ever since yeah, not all heroes wear capes.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Oh god, a cliche at this point, pov of everything.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
It's yeah, I love that for you.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
I hate that. I hate I just want to point
out these are all phrases that, like women say to
each other. Men have not said half these things.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
Oh they say this though well played.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
I mean, we'll played ever so well play. It's a
good phrase. I think well played. It's okay.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I think you may have No why is.
Speaker 3 (31:18):
That like a cringe phrase?
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It's just it doesn't annoy you when you that doesn't
annoy me, Like saying saying in place of saying that
you agree with something, saying.
Speaker 3 (31:35):
This no once again, that is a woman thing.
Speaker 2 (31:40):
And I was today years old when oh, hell no.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
Sometimes that's funny, but most time it's not.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
That is annoying. Like if you're if you say to somebody,
how old is your baby? In they're all nine and
seventy two months old, You're like, god, bless America. Just
say they're seventeen, like or whatever.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
I think that's a little different.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
But I'm like, if they're thirty six months, yeah, I'm like,
if they're over a year. Say they're a year and that.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Used to bug me when I had little, tiny kids too.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
That bugged me then to drive me crazy.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
I agree with you. I totally agree with you. Okay, guys, anyway,
I'm taking off because I'm going to l A. I'm
taping a game show tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
Friday for what.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Let's make a deal, let's make it's going to be
social media. I'm coming home with a car and a trip.
Speaker 3 (32:34):
Do you even know if you're getting chosen to be
on the show.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
That's why I auditioned. I am one of the contestants.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
You're either coming home with a car and a trip,
or you're coming home with a lifetime supply of like
Jimmy Dean sausage.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
We'll see if they if you even make the cut.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
I might be in front of the producers and the
there's a chance to go up there, And there is
that chance. Yes, but I did have to. I had
to audition in front of a producer.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Price is right where you just show up and maybe
they call your number.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Oh my god, I did the prices right.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
I did too, and I won. I was on the
process right. I want a trip to Nice, France, that was.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
The dumbest thing I've ever done. I loved it because
I hated it.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
So that was way back when.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Anyways, Okay, I hope you win.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
I don't think you will that so did you? You know?
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Like so mean?
Speaker 3 (33:23):
I'm just being honest.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
I will, I will.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
Don't you think I have luck? Don't you think I
have any kind of luck at all?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
Make good? Which is a struggle.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
So good.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
Look, I want you to win as much as you can.
I'm just not real optimistic about it.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I'm just nervous.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
What about you?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Do you think?
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Okay, give me the percentage I win something, I come
home with nothing. What's the percentage if.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
You win something? She's going to stop by the casino
on the way home.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Who cares about what I do?
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Oh? On cares?
Speaker 2 (33:58):
Likelihood? No, what's the likelihood of me winning or coming
home on that thing?
Speaker 1 (34:04):
What?
Speaker 3 (34:04):
What's win?
Speaker 1 (34:07):
I want to know what he thinks I'm gonna I'm
gonna say there's gonna be a fifty to fifty chance.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
What that's high? Honestly, maybe you could win like two bucks, But.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
What I believe in you?
Speaker 3 (34:20):
What are the odds that she wins? To say, like
a substantial amount of money.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Mmm, I'm gonna say, knowing you like I do, I'm
gonna say she's gonna get impulsive and she's going to
pick the life type supply of Jimmy Dean's sausage.
Speaker 3 (34:35):
You know, if I had to put if I had
to put money on it, what you do is that
you would be like up for like tenth grand. You'd
like awesome, and you'd like somehow lose it all. I
don't know how. Let's make it deal works, but you'd.
Speaker 2 (34:43):
Lose it all, all right, you know what? Right now,
let's put money on it.
Speaker 3 (34:48):
Okay, if I'm right, you have to give me all
everything you win?
Speaker 2 (34:51):
No, okay? How much are you willing to pony up?
You think you? Okay? You want to make a bet?
Speaker 3 (34:58):
That's such a those are such low odds once that
I would need like a serious return on that.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
No, if I come home with nothing, or if I
come on with a prize.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Oh, just in general.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Yes, you want to put a twenty on it.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
I'll put a fifty on it. Oh dang, you can
need twenty though, twenty is reasonable. You know what, I'm
putting twenty on nothing. I'm going for the fifty okay,
fifty on nothing, wait fift, hold on, because if I
come back with like five bucks, that's not a win.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
I won't come home with.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Fine, if you win more than one hundred dollars, then
I get the face and I'll give you fifty bucks.
Speaker 2 (35:31):
If with nothing but like a like a souvenir pin
or something, I.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Don't I think you'll get that. Also, we're adding in taxes.
So if if the after tax amount is not more.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
Than nothing, okay, okay, okay, ten.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Grand or something.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
All right, well get over here right now because we
have to shake on camera.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Shake.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
No, that's annoying. Fine, I'm getting up.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
Oh boy, it real, Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
I when if I ever renigged on a bet. What's
the phrase renigged? Yeah, renigged on a bit. I think
you'll be lucky if you even get on air.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Get meaner, meaner.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
No, it's not you, it's just not problem.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
Put it in the universe. I'm gonna win something huge
and Brian's gonna eat crow.
Speaker 3 (36:19):
But it's like if okay, it's like oh im tomorrow,
I'm driving up down to the prices right they're taping here.
What do you think or the odds will win something.
I'm like, it's low odds you'll even get on the show,
So you know today should be mean?
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Did I ever tell you when I had to go
through the audition process for the prices right, what.
Speaker 3 (36:34):
Happened if they don't do they even audition? I thought,
you just know you for.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
The price is right? You go up in groups of
like six, it's just if.
Speaker 3 (36:42):
They call you.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
No, yes, no, Brian, We've both done it.
Speaker 1 (36:46):
You have to audition for the producers and then they're looking.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
Before you go into the audience.
Speaker 1 (36:51):
Yeah, so before you even go into the six at
a time. Yeah, And then you go up individually. And
there's a guy with all his I called him the
Robert Palmer girls because they all stood around him with clipboards.
And I had such a migraine the day that I
went that I didn't even care. So there's they're like,
(37:12):
tell us something interesting about.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
Yeah, what is your name? What do you do? And
you can have to show you personality exactly.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
And I couldn't have given a flying f. So I
got seated in literally the farthest back corner of the theater,
and the people I were with were like, hey, if
we if we go to the second showcase we double
you know, because of course none of us got on,
so we had to go through that whole dog and
(37:39):
pony show again. So I go through, turn it up
at least a little bit. They're like, so, tell us
something interesting about yourself, and as dead pan as I could,
I'm like, I do hardcore gay porn. And they all
just they all looked at me and they were like, okay,
at this at this point, I'm in I'm in the corner,
(38:01):
the very last row corner, right next to the curtains,
where I promptly passed out and fell asleep and security
had to wake me up when the show was over.
It I didn't show with me give a flying look.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
That's why you go up there at five in the morning.
You avoid in line and then you do the whole thing.
Speaker 3 (38:21):
But there is no casting call. They just vet you
in line basically.
Speaker 2 (38:24):
But there was a casting call for this one.
Speaker 3 (38:27):
That doesn't mean a whole lot more.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It does, so I had to go through I to
do a whole.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Well, is there a guarantee that you will be on
the show?
Speaker 2 (38:35):
I believe there is, Yes, okay, yes there is. And
then the person I bring as a guest. There's no
guarantee that that person, even though they have to dress
in costume, will be it.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
See I would have never gotten on. They would have
been like, tell us something interesting about yourself, and I'm like,
just grow yourself.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
He just would have had his fate, his normal face on,
and they'd be like.
Speaker 3 (38:54):
Oh, he's like, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I like to sleep a long where I don't where
I don't get excited about anything. And then they're like, oh, that's.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Not gonna be funnybody, but you but you are You could?
I mean you could.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
They have no idea. What a delight I am?
Speaker 3 (39:07):
I know.
Speaker 2 (39:09):
All right anyway, so I'm doing it.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
And my response would be like watch our podcast.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Awesome, okay, next week, Yes you'll have I'm either going
to have to give or I'm going to get a
fifty dollars bill.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
If you get ten thousand dollars, I'm gonna ask for
some of it.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Oh my god, I I'm coming back. You know what.
I love this. I love that you put this challenge
on me because now I'm like fueled and I'm going
to fuel my crystals.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
I'm out in the universe. If I ever won ten
thousand dollars on a game show. I'd give you each grand.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
I probably would.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Really, I'd get Brian a grand. If I want something
else that's fun.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I wouldn't give you guys.
Speaker 3 (39:56):
That's because you I need it.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Brian, I'd give you a grand.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
You Why wouldn't you give me a grand?
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Because you wouldn't give me a grand?
Speaker 2 (40:04):
Oh, that's right. I'll buy you, guys, something fun, like
what I'll buy dinner?
Speaker 3 (40:09):
Now, I could buy myself dinner.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
What do you want? Okay, okay, it's fine, all right.
Speaker 3 (40:13):
I know who my real friends are. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:15):
I'll pay you for your Netflix subscription for one month.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
I'll get you on those little Target cards. It's like
one free month of Netflix. Yeah, about your god and
a outback steakhouse.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
I'll get her a five dollars Starbucks gift card.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah. If I win two dollars fifty cents to left
on it.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Various things which there's a chance I could win, like
a corner cole of things that or there's like a
little there could be like little things. There could a
TV or whatever. Whatever. If I have like a little
a few things, I will give you each something.
Speaker 3 (40:50):
Okay, you do know you have to pay taxes on everything, right, Yes.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
Sir, I know that. I remember that from when I
won the eight thousand dollars trip to Nie Friends. Like, No,
it wasn't that big. It was way back then.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
I think now it's forty.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
Well, anyway, wish me luck.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
It's gonna be good luck.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
I can't wait till she wins like a super nice
car and then she gets a bill for like fifty
thousand dollars for the tax I don't care.
Speaker 2 (41:16):
That'd be so fun to anyway. I love you, guys,
and we'll talk on Monday, our live show Tuesday when
it drops next week, this one. Whatever you're listening now,
I get on even more what I'm saying anymore. And
I love your podcast.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
I love you so much.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
I told myself i'd sit on my hands from now
on because I talk too much with my hands. I like,
it's really annoy boy.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Well that looks awkward. No, no, no not at all? Not?
Speaker 2 (41:45):
Does it?
Speaker 3 (41:47):
All right? Good night? Everything?
Speaker 2 (41:49):
Love a podcast, Okay, always try to say that. Love you,
my sweet babies. Bye,
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