May 14, 2025 • 44 mins
In this hilarious podcast episode, Laura shares the ups and downs of creating her cringeworthy dating profile, with entertaining voice highlights from guys who have reached out to her. The conversation shifts to Mother’s Day as Laura tells us about a money ritual she and her niece carried out after purchasing a kit from a crystal shop.
Do you believe in this kind of “woo woo” stuff, and would you swipe right on Laura’s profile?
Full of laughs and relatable stories, this episode is a funny escape.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Do you believe in this kind of “woo woo” stuff, and would you swipe right on Laura’s profile?
Full of laughs and relatable stories, this episode is a funny escape.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Okay, okay, damn. Hello, this is Laura Kane after Dark.
I'm Laura Kane. Hi, Laura Kane and Eric Rimmer, my
co host has decided that this is going to be
uh headphone free night.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I didn't wear my headphones last week either.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Is this a new thing we're doing where we're kind
of looking more cool with all these big giant things
in our head Maybe Okay, let me see. I like
hearing the little music in the background.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Though, Oh, you look totally cool.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You'll have to wear them later.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I know you will, because I have some things to
play for you.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Oh okay, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Anyway, welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. I hope you
guys had a great Mother's Day. However, you act as
a mother in somebody's life, foster mother, guardian, an aunt
that's like a mom, a real mom, or those of
us that don't have our moms with us anymore. How
did you do yesterday? Were you okay? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It was okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You honored her in your your own special way. I
did in Vegas by putting some money in a slot machine.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I did not gamble, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I so wanted him to just put twenty dollars in
a penny machine. Wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
He has before we already gotten a game.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Like then he wanted to do He kind of toyed
with the idea of putting like one hundred bucks on black.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Oh okay, that's table games. That's different.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, and he didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
One hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
No, that's that would be outrageous to get to take
Blackjack's fine. See, I would totally do that because but
I'm risky like that anyway. Okay, so today tonight we're
going to talk about several things. I have created my
(01:57):
dating profile and it is one of the apps. I
don't know if I should mention it. Maybe I won't,
just because.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Once you describe it, it'll become obvious, which one.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Probably, But you know, I don't want floods of guys,
you know, like you know, I wouldn't be slamming my page.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, those tens of those guys.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So okay, we have that to talk about. Oh, we
also have Mother's Day to talk about. And a ritual
I did with my niece and I have it here.
I bought it from this Crystal store and I'll explain
what we did. And it already worked, and I'm going
to tell you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
How is it the Zultar machine outside of Amethyst Rose.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
No, did you see that video that I posted.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I used to live like right there where I used
to live.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But you know what, I've used that Zultar machine like
ten times.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I didn't say this on the little reel that I made,
but that fortune he popped out was crap.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yet the fun is the machine, not the fortune.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
True. I mean it is pretty magnificent. Cool, yeah, very
very cool. So it was really fun to watch. So
all right, Eric, since I'm using the phone for Instagram,
thank you guys for watching us live on Instagram. We
so appreciate it. And on YouTube to thank you, I
have sent you all the different things that I had
(03:19):
to write for my profile. I put six pictures on
my new dating app, and there were I think four
or five different prompts that I honestly answered with not
too much of a joke, not too sarcastic, and I
took a little bit from what you wrote about me, huh.
(03:42):
I kind of tweaked it a little bit because to
fit this, okay, And then I launched it and within
an hour I had like ninety two like hearts. But
I can't go through all of them. I have to
do one by one because I'm not paying for it.
And if you don't pay for it, you can't see
all the people who like you.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Got it, you kind of have.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
But here's the problem. I have put my age range
between thirty five and seventy.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And so oh, just to think of a hinge.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Variety, just variety, just to see what's out there.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I can tell you who's out there in the seventy range.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Well, that might be my only option at this point,
I don't think so. I just wanted to see if
I was attracted to anybody that was of that age.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Okay, so far, no shocking, but.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Uh I it's been fun to read some of the things.
It's been very like what you'd expect. Some are funny.
The funny ones though, and I don't mean to diss
on men who are not tall, but I'm and the
(05:04):
guys that I found very funny were all like five
eight or five seven.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
God, the nerve.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's unfortunate. That's actually someone who's taller than that. That
is actually the average height of men.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
How do I I guess I just have to learn
to get past it. If I really find somebody.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Like you don't have to that's a deal breaker for
a lot of like women.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
But I could really be missing out on somebody like amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
But like it seems like such a trivial thing. But
how much of like how annoying would it be if
you're like, let's say, I mean a couple inches taller
than the guy.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
You're with, if he didn't care and if he was confident,
I don't know, would it matter all that much.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I don't think I could be with someone taller than me.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Would I feel uncomfortable? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I was at it. I was at a disco bar
on Friday night.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
At disco bar.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, like light up dance floor disco like it was
in downtown. It was actually really cool.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Way.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
There was a couple there that was dancing, and it
was like this chick and she was probably like five nine,
she's pretty tall, and she's with a guy who was like,
I mean I swear like five five or five cent wow.
And I mean they looked very sweet together, they're very happy.
But I was like, I could not do that, that
would be it looked odd. Yeah, I just feel like
psychologically being in that relationship, it would just be it
would be like something would be off.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Gosh, I know. But then there's a lot I mean,
there's gonna be a lot of people that comment you
just you could be giving up the love of your
life only because he's just a few inches shorter than
you'd like.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Don't listen to the haters. Be a hater.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm never gonna be a hater. So, okay, I thought
we'd start off and I I want you, guys, You're
probably gonna make fun of me, but I want you
to honestly give me your true feedback on what I wrote,
because I really thought this out and I did it
from my heart, and I did it professionally.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Did Marie for you?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She did not okay?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And I ran it by her and she she okayed
all of it. She's been Yeah, she approves, she approved.
I know. Actually get her home mic she needs it
because she needs comments on some of this. So the
first so there were six pictures that I posted, new ones,
updated ones because I've been on this app before. And
(07:22):
then the first prompt is dating me is like mm hmmm,
so this is what I wrote.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
I'm terrified of the big one. No, you're not authentically fun.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Oh let me read it without your comments because it's
getting confusing.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You're not terrified of the big one.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I am terrified of big roller coasters.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh you were talking about roller coasters. Why that was
code for something else?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
What?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Hold on, that is the stream.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
No, he needs to not comment, he needs to reading.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
She was being dirty.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Okay, I don't know anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
I'm terrified of the big ones. Authentically fun and surprisingly,
it's exciting so much to laugh and talk about. My
book is open. I'm curious to dive into yours.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
That's okay, right.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I would get rid of that first line.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
The way I have it in parentheses. It's like writing
a not so scary roller coaster because I'm afraid of
the scary ones.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
It's I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Know, surprisingly exciting and fun.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I just don't know if it makes lots of sense.
Is it an innuendo too? I'm like not sure if
it is. No, but it kind of seems like it
could be like a bad one.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Well, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I'm like, God, is this just like the worst in
window I've.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Ever heard of? A No, I was not doing that.
I was not doing anything like that.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I would personally, I would say the first line is
just I don't quite understand it. Okay, I think the
rest of it's fine. All right, it does seem like you,
all right.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Continue.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
The way to win me over is make me laugh
till I cry with your wit, sarcasm and charm, and
don't take yourself too seriously. We are all flawed beings,
and sometimes those flaws are hysterical.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Okay, okay, okay, see, not too too cringey.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
It's a little it almost gets a little philosophical in
there with going on about the flaws. Boom. Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm trying to be original and kind of unique and
to stand out and be myself all these things. It's hard,
all right, all right? Next one?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Oh boy, oh geez?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What is this one?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
A random fact? I love? Is it takes two billion,
three hundred and ninety five million, one hundred and sixty thousand,
plain eminems to fill an Olympic size swimming pool. So
I want to dive into it.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I so want to dive into Are you like thirteen
or something.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Oh, I've always wanted to dive into a pool full
of eminem.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
You should keep that to yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
That's a random fact.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That's not a random random fact about yourself, about anything.
I think you should make it more about yourself. Okay,
it makes you more. That doesn't make you intriguing, that
makes you weird.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Well, let me tell you. I've received a lot of
comments about that.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I know.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I just okay, guys, trying to make okay.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Anyway, if you like it, keep it okay?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Which event should we try? Time travel too?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I had to pick these.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Wow, she's like these.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Nineteen seventy two San Diego plane crash, not not too far?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You really chose these?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
These are time These are things I'd like to time travel.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Seventy six Woodstock concert in the park.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're not too far off, Mars or Moon expedition, okay,
Studio fifty four in the seventies, Okay, that'd be really fun.
Retired living on the beach in Mexico.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
All right. Gives me a Shawshank redemption vibes.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And then this is what comes up. If somebody likes me,
this little sentence comes up.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
New matches will new matches will see your note before
the conversation starts. They can either unmatch or start the
chat after reading it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Get Ready, you're in for a crazy, positively unique experience.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Okay, you should get rid of that asap. That's awful.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Why isn't it true? No, get ready, you're in for a.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Unique It's so cringey. It It's also it's like when
someone says, like, oh, I guess I'm just quirky. It's
like it's way too quirky. Really okay, Like it's it's
almost kind of bizarre, all right, So like if I
saw that, I would unmatch really actually, yeah, all right,
it's really strange.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I gotta say. And Marie told me this was going
to happen right when I launched the app and it
went live. They send like the top up tier guys, right,
so I immediately had like ninety three likes and I can
only see one at a time since I don't pay
for it. Well, here are some and some of these
(12:14):
guys can send a little voice message just to introduce
themselves or say something interesting about themselves. So here are
four of them that I picked out.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Put your headphones on, Eric, put your.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Headphones on, because this is what is out there. Okay,
this is what's out there. Now, you tell me which one,
my god, you would date.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Okay, my therapist would have a lot to say, mostly
don't revert back to my little street urchin self. Other
than that, good progress, not perfection.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Okay, what is that in response to.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Like a fact about me or something about.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
These guys are leaving like deep voicemail teams for you.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
No, that's not for me. These are on their program.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh well, what is that specifically? And that's got to
be to a different prompt That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Whatever, but listen to it. He sounds like he's like
half dead. Yeah, well okay, the other wise therapy, the
other one talks about I kind of wrote down what
they were talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
All right, what does it say he was talking about
his pitch.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh he's pitching himself.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
You are looking for a long term, committed relationship with
a gentleman who still believes in treating a woman the
way they should be treated, respect valued, and honored. I'm open, honest,
and loyal. Communication is the key to a great relationship.
My major love languages are physical touch and quality time,
(13:51):
with gifting a strong third. Anyway, if this sounds good,
hit me up.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Okay, it sounds like you wrote that out.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I would.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Well, he sounds like a school teacher.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I get some real bad vibes from that guy. I
guarantee two perfect. She probably is loyal that he's been
cheated on. Also, bet he's not that nice to woman
he protects it waited too hard.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
There is a giant red flag waving about that for
some reason. And then this.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I bet he's a huge misogynist.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
This guy, what did what did? What did?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Memory?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Oh, this is one of his childhood memories.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Oh God, So when I was young, there was a
deer on the side of the road and I threw
open the car door, jumped out of the car, ran
out into the field and hugged it. And the whole
car stayed frozen because they didn't want me to get kicked.
And I just stayed there hugging it for a very
(14:48):
long time, and the deer just let me.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
I was young. What.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Wow, this is what is out there?
Speaker 3 (14:59):
My friend?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
This is just the two seventy plus. This sounds like
a dementia story.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Like no that even that guy was. I think that
guy was like forty ish.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
All right, but uh so this is kind of what
I'm uh, what I've experienced so far.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
I'd go on a date with him. I bet he's
real interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, the deer hugger.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, honestly, I don't think there's any long term potential there,
but it'd be a funny story for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You know what I think she should do. I think
she should get about twenty cats, gain about one hundred
and fifty six pounds, and just sit around and eat
frosting out of the can. Well.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
She's basically like that with dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Oh man, I do that in other ways.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
It's gummy bears and dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Marie, I don't want you do you want to?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Okay, did you meet well did you meet your person
on my same app? Okay, we'll talk about We will
talk about it later. Let me just say it's so
far going very nice. They sat by the pool today
at his place, and how fun is that?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I mean fun fun?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
And they're both and like she hasn't had there were
no major red flags. He's very nice to her. He's
very like respectable and happy. Laura.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Laura's like minimal requirements.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
No, and I'm saying nice things. Oh, what's.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I'll say something nice.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
No, he seems like a really nice person.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I'm glad that you sounds like it's a nice pool.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Is it? He does? God, it was a perfect day
to lay by the pool. I mean that's a nice date.
Second date.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Wait, do you do you tell them about like the podcast?
Like you're like, want to hear something interesting about me?
Sometimes I am a gist on the podcast in my
living room.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, she's not dut she's.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I can't differentiate. She said to.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Him, she said something about the podcast, and he's like, oh, oh,
how like he wanted to know all about it and stuff.
I'm like, oh my god. If you would have invited
him in, he would have been on the podcast. So
I'm glad that you didn't because I probably would have
forced the pork to get on. That's not right. It
would be bad. And I know myself, like I know.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That I would a guy in fifty days.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I know, but uh more, Oh, okay, one more? Oh god,
this guy, this guy, this is an older guy.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Burgonzola butter cheese in equal parts garlic, gorgonzola, or blue cheese,
and then also Italian salted butter. You reduce all that
at low heat to make sure nothing burns. Mix it
together when it's mixed equally. Put that back into a
container under the freezer. And now you've got that for
cooking later. Are we going to put that on steaks?
(17:52):
Are we going to mix that with a little bit
of olive oil and make a salad dressing? What are
we gonna do with that? Let's cook?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Do you know the only thing that's burning? After hearing
that on my ears, I know.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Actually kind of like his voice though.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
It creeped me out, but yeah, he sounds like somebody
that would be telling you at some point in your relationship,
who puts lotion in the basket like something.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yeah, and I did a voice prompt and I didn't
put it on, and it's on my phone and I
you can't get on my app. Maybe you on and
it's okay, it's it's something. It's not very I am
not getting on your app.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You've got some promising guys here, no way. Okay. If
you had to pick one of them, which one would
it be?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
The deer Hugger? Probably just because it's kind of cute
and interesting.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's not that cute, but definitely the therapy guy. Also
former sea urchin or street urchin.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I don't know if does that mean he was part
of a gang or is it a misdemeanor or something?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No, he probably that's just like a you know, like
the urchins in the sea, like a little ree urchin.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
That's that's like.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
A Is that a like a slang term for something that's.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Slang for someone who used to be on the streets
a lot?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh boy, that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Gives me crime vibes. I could also just mean, I guess,
like a bum or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Definitely not the pitch the high pitch guy or the uh,
the guy giving his sales pitch. No, he's got kids too.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I bet.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I am an open book. Yes, and I should not
tell this story.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
You should tell it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
No, I really shouldn't. It's because all right, I want
you to know, just can I can I preface this
by saying that I am. I go through phases like
my gummy bear phase, like my chewing ice phase, like
(20:01):
I go through little weird phases. Sure, when I have
like a hundred dollars bill in my wallet.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
You go through a spending money.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Phase, I go, I want to play those damn penny
slot machines. I love them. I'm not a gambling addict
yet because I can't. I don't have the money to
be an addict. I don't have the money to lose,
or even the money to start. So I stay. I
go one hundred dollars and that's it.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
I mean, that could still be a gambling addicte.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I know, well, I am an addict after all, but
hopefully this will pass. But this is what I did
last night. No, no, I'm like driving home from my
mom's house. It was I left at nine thirty at
night last night. I got to Temecula because she lives
(20:49):
in Rancha Cucamonga. I'm like, I think there's like a
sino right around here because we went to see what's
her face at Pachunga. Oh yeah, remember Kathy Griffin? Oh yeah,
so I said.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Pachanga, Pachanga. It's Pachanga. Uh this whole time I thought
it was Pachanga.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And did you know it's Coal's Mountain, not cows Coals Mountain.
I'll explain though it's not Cow's Mountain. Everybody calls it Cows.
The man who gave the land to the city was
named George Coles.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Yeah, but it's named Cow's Mountain. We changed it.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
So I said to myself, you know what f it,
it's Mother's Day. I can do whatever I want. My
kids were so sweet enough to send me these beautiful flowers,
and they each called me, but I didn't have them
with me. I had my mom. It was great to
spend time with Earth, but I'm like, I'm gonna do
something fun for myself. Pulled off the freeway. No oh no,
(21:53):
got out. I was in my pajamas, but I changed
into this like sloppy sun dress that I had just
so would be my job, just like this. It wasn't cute.
It was just like a throw like a cover up,
a beach cover up. Pretty much had no makeup on.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
So trashy, so trashy.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I sit down at a slot machine that had three
different there were three machines, and there's two guys sitting
next to me. So this one guy was winning like
eighteen hundred dollars and I was excited for him. So
I'm like, yeah, all right, good, that's awesome. Good for you.
So we started like talking. All of a sudden, it's
(22:36):
like three o'clock in the morning. Yep, we the three
of us, these two guys, and I are having a blast.
He's floating me the money that he's winning, and we're
we're betting like thirty dollars a hit. Like this guy
is out of control, and I was all about it.
It was so fun, god, because I wasn't by money.
(22:57):
So he like walks away with like three grand right,
and he goes, do you want to come up and
see my room?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh god, oh no, let me.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Tell you something. I was totally kidding. I wasn't. I
was vibing with this guy. We were like having a
lot of fun. He was a little bit younger. He
was probably in his late forties, so it wasn't that
much younger than me. He goes, why are you like
he goes stand up straight or you know your posture.
He was just kind of give me grief. I'm like, well,
(23:28):
I'm not wearing a bra. That's why I didn't want
to blink, because I you know, I didn't want to
say why because I kind of have a problem with
in the nipple region if I don't wear a bra.
So I was like going like this. So he's like, no,
sit up straight, my god, Oh no, I was doing everything.
It was just such an inappropriate story. I'm telling you this.
(23:49):
So he goes, all right, it was like three now,
three thirty. He had to go to work, he had
to leave at five am. But he goes, we have
a penthouse. I go, all right, I'll go because there's
two guys, all right, and.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Which makes it so much, so much worse.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I am the biggest dumb dumb now they think about it,
but they seemed cool. I didn't get a bad vibe
from them at all. I go up to the room,
I look around. The guy grabs me around my bat.
He liked to hug me, and he cracks my back
for me, and then he goes, I want to see
(24:25):
you again. And he lives in La I guess, but
he's always down, Like once a month. He comes to
Pachana Gun and stays for like the weekend, and he
was kind of funny, But like, do I want to
do that?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I don't know how this story ended without something.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Without penetration. Oh, I don't know how well?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I like, I don't. I don't understand why, Okay, because.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I'm impulsive and I do things like.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
No, that's fine, Like I'm like, that's not the most insane,
Like you know, if that had been like a hookup story,
that wouldn't be the most insane hookup story I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
And you know what he told me this.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Is it's almost crazier that it didn't end in that.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
My favorite thing of the whole night was he goes,
I love women with curbs. You've got a great, nice,
big booty.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And somehow you went to his penthouse and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Well, wait, there was another dude. There was like his
best friend.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I'm not that doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I'm surprised a kniffel tower didn't happen exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I was not gonna do anything. I didn't kiss him,
I didn't do any of that. I didn't like any
of that.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I bet that guy was pissed. No, it was like disappointed.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
He's like that too bad?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
But I got home at five in them oh god,
because I still had to drive to San Diego. I had,
oh Jesus, all that he won and that we were
playing with I I didn't end up with any of it,
which is fine, because he didn't he didn't owe me
any money. That's it was his money. We were playing
(26:11):
with it. It was just a fun time. I didn't
lose any money. I didn't win any money. I did
something stupid.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Oh my god, wait what else?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No, I shouldn't have gone up to somebody's stranger's hotel
drink strangers and they were totally drinking and both men.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah, I mean definitely if you're not prepared for the
I guess the.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
And you know what men have that women don't have?
What wiers?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh god, Yeah, it was not wrong. That was not
something I was.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
They Oh they were.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Yeah, if that was something that was out of the
realm of question, why would you go up to their
hotel room?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Do you see how cool it was? They had the penthouse,
they had the beautiful view of the pool. I don't know.
I'm I'm the most naive person in the world on it.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I'm like shocked, you're.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Shocked at my stupidity.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
If you give me one hundred dollars, I can I
can go like this with my finger and make it
two hundred?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Can I almost I'm almost wondering if you're just like
you're leaving out, you're just stay.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Up lying I didn't do anything on tour.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Because let's just recap. What happened is you went to
the casino and you were there till three am, flirting
with the guy the entire time who's clearly making like
sexual advances.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
And then we shared a seat at one point because.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Holy okay, you share worse.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
And then he goes, hey, come up to my penthouse
and you go, okay, sure, and you go up to
his penthouse and you're like, but nothing happened, and I
got home at five am, might go are you sure?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well? I just love wrong. This is a great, great
meeting you guys. I hope you have a good day
at work tomorrow. Thank you so much for letting me
play with you. It was really fun. And I wasn't
going to sweat right now to tell anybody that's oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Because here's the thing. If like, let's say something did happen,
I'd be like, oh, that's crazy. You know, it's a
hookup story whatever. But the fact that nothing did happen
and you got him at five am after all, that
is like almost weirder of a story.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I didn't want to do anything, and that's fine.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
That's fine, But then no, you weren't friends.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
He why did you go to his pet hoouse? That's crazy?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
But nobody on this planet has ever told me I
had a big booty, and that made me so happy.
I don't know what I was because I don't have
a big booty. I want like a kurvy booty, but
I don't.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Have all Right, all right, that's that's great and all.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Anyway, So there's that. Now I'm super uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Now everybody's gonna write me, well, Laura can, Lauric can
take our profile down now.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Because nobody's gonna I think he's rich.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
How you get a pehouse?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Well, he said he works well, and he was betting,
like at one point he was betting thirty dollars a spin.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
He said he works for some tax company and that
he helps people, uh figure.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Out their tax hlo.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
No, like a like a tax rise something like that.
Like people that help you deal with your back taxes
and help you make payments. And he says he likes
helping people.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Sure, yeah, I became a tax Atney Penthouse hotel room.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And the guy who was with is this friend from
like high school that they've been Buddies forever, and this
poor guy lost two thousand dollars within it.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I would I would have been I would have had a.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
So bummed out. He was like so sad.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So I was like, don't worry. I'm gonna get us
a girl and we'll do it together.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
God oh god, oh god, oh god.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It's like I know how to make you feel better.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm like shocked.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
How here's the thing about me. I I'm addicted to excitement.
That's what I've learned. I'm addicted to excitement and adventure
and the un But.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
You like, also never commit to excitement.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
That was exciting to me. Oh that was exciting to me.
And to be in the casino and hit the button
and it was thirty buttons, Like.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
You're like committed, You're so addicted to like such a
low level of excitement.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Brian, that's what she's calling it now, hitting the button?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Oh got it?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Do you got? Are you disappointed in me? Guys? Are
you very disappointed?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
I'm just like so confused, but you know.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Me, yeah, no, no, I'm like this, you know, I'm
kinda I'm not I'm not playing with the full deck,
as my dad would say.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I guess everyone else, not Scenariol be like, screw it,
I'm here, which you know, screw it.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I'm here, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Well, I think most people would have either said no,
I'm not going to your penthouse, or they said screw it,
I'm going up to your penthouse just.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
To see it. No one does that happen because I'm
a curious person.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No that, Oh yeah, no, I know that. I'm just
like and then he.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Tried to crack my back and he did the ever
so slightly boob uh not the the grays, and I
noticed that. I was like, all right, it's time to
leave it because things are He's starting to uh get
a little handsy, and.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You I, oh, okay, oh you know, you know I
wanted to you know, he wanted to crack more than
your back. Yeah, clearly that I totally wanted to crack
your was obvious.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Actually, I do feel a little bad for him because
he's like, hey, when come my panals? You're like, yeah, sure,
and then you get there, like I literally just came
to see your penthouse and you leave like once again.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
He was sharing it with his best friend. What are
we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Like the guy Theiffel Tower maybe the friend was gonna
step I don't know, but all right, I'm sure you
gave off some bad I hate.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Myself for telling that story. I'm going to edit this
whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And you know what the best part is is that
you didn't just tell the room, you told all of America.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I know it's story.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is this kind of like I need to like not
be this kind of person. I don't know what will
fill me where I.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Won't do things, don't go up to strange men's apartments
without explicit intention to do so.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
It's a good thing I wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh you would have cock blocked. Yeah you are. You
wouldn't have even let me put.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
A dollar in the.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Okay, So that said. My niece and I went to
a crystal shop on Mother's Day, Becau. There's one down
the street from my mom where she goes and buys
her sis. There's this liquor store where she goes buys
her SIGs and her lottery tickets or scratcher. She loves doing.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I love talking to her.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
She's so happy that you texted her for Mother's Day.
She loved it. She loved you so much. Anyway, I
bought this kit for eleven dollars and it's a money
manifesting kit, which you can see how hard this door this.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I could hear your eye roll from here.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
They were like spot machines. Actually it was like the
wheels spinning and the slot machine. That's how hard my
eyes were rolling.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It came with a candle.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Came with some money.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
It came with some oil and some like some stuff
that looks like it almost looks like marijuana, but it
was you know, stuff you put in. It's like popoury.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Okay, So pray, tell how does this so money?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
You take the oil and you counter not counterclockwise, clock clockwise,
you rub it on the candle.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
So if you do it the wrong way, do you
lose money?
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I don't know. This is just what the woman told me, okay.
And then you roll it in the little shavings or whatever.
And then before that you I had to put my initials.
You carve your initials into the candle. You say your intention,
you write it down. Okay, prepare your working space, remove
(34:00):
items from the kit, write a petition of intent stating
what will happen, not what you hope will happen. That's
the key. Light the candle and then do the oil thing.
Sprinkle the herbs, da da da da, light the candle
and meditate on the intention that you wrote about, and
(34:23):
stay with the candle until it's completely done burning, which
I didn't because I had to blow it out. But
this is what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Oh it didn't work.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
No, I just had to stop. I mean, I don't
want to know my mom's cool. Well, do you want
to know what I wrote?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Money?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Money, now, money me please.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I did this with my niece and it was very
bonding experience because she's looking for a job. They're bonding
over we're bonding over weirdness. So all right, here we go.
May eleventh, twenty five Mother's Day. Okay, the last Mother's
Day I will celebrate as a money strikeruggling perts person person, person.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Are your teeth falling out?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Person?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
What's happening?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Do you want me to read it?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I'm really nervous because you guys are like, I'm very vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
May eleventh, twenty twenty five Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I kind of don't want you to read it because
I might want to leave parts out.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I read all the last Mother's Day I will celebrate
as a money struggling person. Next I will be the
next morning new Inkjel on a Christmas tree. A significant
amount of money will be in my bank account within
a few days. Yes, I will spoil Evan in June
(35:43):
because I'll have more money. Lots of money is on
the way very soon. Is there more?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
No, that's it. I think that's what I wrote. And
you know what landed in my account today, surprisingly, so
expectedly nine dollars from tax return money that was mistakenly
left out of my tax return.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
That's not unexpected, that's just the irs. That's not like
your windfall of cash you manifested.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
This was unexpected because there was a mistake on my
Okay sure, but whatever it happened, some money let it
in my account.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
So we'll see if this time next year if your
money struggling perchain.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And then tonight is important since we're on this woo
woo journey right now. It is a full moon, and Eric.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Has it does happen once a month, It.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Does, but this is an important one. Apparently they say
this about every full moon, but every full moon has
like something special about it. So here we go. It's tonight.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
This is called moonomentons.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Oh, that's a reliable source.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
This full moon in Scorpio is not here to come,
It is here to liberate. It asks you to feel
what you're buried, to feel what you've buried, to release
what no longer honors your growth, and to trust the
wisdom of your emotions in shedding skin. Your shedding skins,
your trance, muting pain into power. The depths you're navigating
(37:19):
now are not meant to break you, but to awaken you.
Let go, surrender to what's being revealed. You're not falling apart,
You're being reborn into a truer or freer version of yourself.
Trust the transformation you are rising from within.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Okay, now, all read yours? This is what it means
for Leo.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Well do you Leo?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I mean, I mean Capricorn. I forgot to do you? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Brian, You're oh, I'm so hurt.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
This is what has going to happen to you. If
you go out in the moon tonight and say a
little intention okay, which you probably won't because you don't
believe in that kind of stuff, do you, we'll see. Well,
we're going to go out together and hold hands. I'm
going to make you do it. Twenty twenty five breaks
open the armor you've worn for years, the role of
(38:04):
the strong one, the achiever, the one who endures silently.
It no longer fits. This is the year you release
the weight of proving yourself. You've earned the right to rest.
Let go of the belief that success is the only
measure of worth. Your soul is calling for connection, creativity,
(38:27):
and softness. You are not your title, your goals, or
your control. What wants you to emerge now is the tender,
intuitive part of what you've suppressed for so long. The
transformation may feel vulnerable, but it's also your liberation. Let
(38:50):
go of the fortress which you do build. You build
fortresses around yourself. What is coming is more human, more real,
and more fulfilling. Okay, okay, now here's mine, I'll read
yours can read mine?
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Gemini. Guess who's got a birthday coming up?
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Side?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I know on a Saturday night, enough four.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Maybe twenty twenty five whispers to your restless heart that
not every connection must be maintained. You're releasing the habit
of scattering your energy into too many places, conversations and ideas.
It's time to say goodbye to what no longer nourishes
your mind or spirit. There's beauty in quiet, in depth
and staying the transformation. This year is about intimacy with
(39:40):
yourself and with others who meet your soul. That could
have happened the other time.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I know.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Who meet you soul to soul and just not mine
to mine. Let go of the version of you who
needed to be liked, needed to be everywhere at once.
You don't have to earn love with words. You're already
enough in silence. What remains when you stop entertaining the
world is your truth, and that truth is magnetic.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Okay, so I'm gonna get laid this year. It's not
basically what it's saying, intimacy. It's unfortunate whatever, all right, anyway,
that's just part of it. So I'm gonna go out
on the moon. I'm going to charge my crystals. It's
like a really cool I know fran is just rolling
his eyes to death.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
I'm like having a seizure.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I know, I feel really like I want to crawl
under a rock right now because I'm very embarrassed about
what I have revealed to you. Because now you guys
are gonna think I'm like this huge gambling attic. Like
I'm like, I'm going through a sweat phase or something
(40:45):
like that.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
The gambling was the least interesting part about that story.
You know what, Look, if you want to go through
a something, just do it. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
But I I, it's been so long, I don't know
how to start. Like, I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You just do what you're doing and just start actually
doing it.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
It's like when you haven't been to the gym in
a long time. It's just actually the.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Weights and you start lifting them.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
It's it's easier said than done.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
I mean, you got like ninety nine percent of the
way there. You walked out of it. Oh my well, no,
just fine.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Oh remind me speaking of working out on Thursday show,
reminds me to tell you about where I worked out?
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Oh okay, okay, And what happened?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Was it in Vegas?
Speaker 5 (41:31):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Huh okay. I got to hear about your bags? So
he went to Vegas this weekend, So we're gonna hear
about that.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
My friend Kate's wedding, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
And that'll be fun. Then there's what else I wanted
to talk about something, but.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
I'm all, we'll touch it on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
You're a mess right now. I want to know, how
do you how? How do you guys? How's this coming across?
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Just sign out?
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Brian?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
What come on?
Speaker 5 (41:57):
What?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
You're the one that I don't want to disappoint. I
don't know your Your opinion of me means a lot,
and like it's very low.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Not kidding, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It's like this story. I just told me. I think
you have a whole like other opinion of me.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
Now.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
No, I look, I am a feminist. I guess I
support your empowerment, however that may be. And uh, you know,
in terms of normal stuff or intimacy or not. So
ever you want to do is cool.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I just need to I need to just have a
kiss or do something. I need to start. It's been
so so long. I just don't know how to start,
and I'm very nervous about it.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I feel like it's something you can't really forget.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
It's like riding a bike.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Lott. Yeah, look, here's the only two things. Be safe or.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Laura's pike still has the training wheels.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Oh god. Anyways, just be safe and I would say
be a little less naive don't go up to strange
men's penthouses without your intention of following through on the
very implicit and obvious, you know, outcome. If you don't
want to do it, that's fine, don't do it. If
you want to do it, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Do it.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
I don't try to split the baby on that one,
I'd say, though, because that can be bad.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I recommend that you keep both feet on the floor.
And if you can't do that, I swear something that
you can pull off over your head.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
All right, is there anything we can say to end
this podcast to make me feel a little bit better?
And everybody else?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Thank god you didn't get pregnant by two guys over
Mother's Day weekend.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I will talk about Mother's Day weekend on Thursday too.
I love your podcast everybody past. Oh my god, this
might not be available tomorrow. I may erase it completely.
That's how I'm feeling. Love you, my sweet babies. Oh
Okay, okay, damn. Hello, this is Laura Kane after Dark.
I'm Laura Kane. Hi, Laura Kane and Eric Rimmer, my
co host has decided that this is going to be
uh headphone free night.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
I didn't wear my headphones last week either.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Is this a new thing we're doing where we're kind
of looking more cool with all these big giant things
in our head Maybe Okay, let me see. I like
hearing the little music in the background.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Though, Oh, you look totally cool.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
You'll have to wear them later.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I know you will, because I have some things to
play for you.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Oh okay, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Anyway, welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. I hope you
guys had a great Mother's Day. However, you act as
a mother in somebody's life, foster mother, guardian, an aunt
that's like a mom, a real mom, or those of
us that don't have our moms with us anymore. How
did you do yesterday? Were you okay? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (01:05):
It was okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
You honored her in your your own special way. I
did in Vegas by putting some money in a slot machine.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I did not gamble, dude.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
I so wanted him to just put twenty dollars in
a penny machine. Wouldn't do it.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
He has before we already gotten a game.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Like then he wanted to do He kind of toyed
with the idea of putting like one hundred bucks on black.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Oh okay, that's table games. That's different.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Yeah, and he didn't do that.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
One hundred bucks.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
No, that's that would be outrageous to get to take
Blackjack's fine. See, I would totally do that because but
I'm risky like that anyway. Okay, so today tonight we're
going to talk about several things. I have created my
(01:57):
dating profile and it is one of the apps. I
don't know if I should mention it. Maybe I won't,
just because.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Once you describe it, it'll become obvious, which one.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Probably, But you know, I don't want floods of guys,
you know, like you know, I wouldn't be slamming my page.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Yeah, those tens of those guys.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
So okay, we have that to talk about. Oh, we
also have Mother's Day to talk about. And a ritual
I did with my niece and I have it here.
I bought it from this Crystal store and I'll explain
what we did. And it already worked, and I'm going
to tell you.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
How is it the Zultar machine outside of Amethyst Rose.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
No, did you see that video that I posted.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
I used to live like right there where I used
to live.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But you know what, I've used that Zultar machine like
ten times.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I didn't say this on the little reel that I made,
but that fortune he popped out was crap.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Yet the fun is the machine, not the fortune.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
True. I mean it is pretty magnificent. Cool, yeah, very
very cool. So it was really fun to watch. So
all right, Eric, since I'm using the phone for Instagram,
thank you guys for watching us live on Instagram. We
so appreciate it. And on YouTube to thank you, I
have sent you all the different things that I had
(03:19):
to write for my profile. I put six pictures on
my new dating app, and there were I think four
or five different prompts that I honestly answered with not
too much of a joke, not too sarcastic, and I
took a little bit from what you wrote about me, huh.
(03:42):
I kind of tweaked it a little bit because to
fit this, okay, And then I launched it and within
an hour I had like ninety two like hearts. But
I can't go through all of them. I have to
do one by one because I'm not paying for it.
And if you don't pay for it, you can't see
all the people who like you.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Got it, you kind of have.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
But here's the problem. I have put my age range
between thirty five and seventy.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
And so oh, just to think of a hinge.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Variety, just variety, just to see what's out there.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
I can tell you who's out there in the seventy range.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Well, that might be my only option at this point,
I don't think so. I just wanted to see if
I was attracted to anybody that was of that age.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
Okay, so far, no shocking, but.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Uh I it's been fun to read some of the things.
It's been very like what you'd expect. Some are funny.
The funny ones though, and I don't mean to diss
on men who are not tall, but I'm and the
(05:04):
guys that I found very funny were all like five
eight or five seven.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
God, the nerve.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
That's unfortunate. That's actually someone who's taller than that. That
is actually the average height of men.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
How do I I guess I just have to learn
to get past it. If I really find somebody.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
Like you don't have to that's a deal breaker for
a lot of like women.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
But I could really be missing out on somebody like amazing.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
But like it seems like such a trivial thing. But
how much of like how annoying would it be if
you're like, let's say, I mean a couple inches taller
than the guy.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
You're with, if he didn't care and if he was confident,
I don't know, would it matter all that much.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I don't think I could be with someone taller than me.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Would I feel uncomfortable? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I was at it. I was at a disco bar
on Friday night.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
At disco bar.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, like light up dance floor disco like it was
in downtown. It was actually really cool.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Way.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
There was a couple there that was dancing, and it
was like this chick and she was probably like five nine,
she's pretty tall, and she's with a guy who was like,
I mean I swear like five five or five cent wow.
And I mean they looked very sweet together, they're very happy.
But I was like, I could not do that, that
would be it looked odd. Yeah, I just feel like
psychologically being in that relationship, it would just be it
would be like something would be off.
Speaker 1 (06:23):
Gosh, I know. But then there's a lot I mean,
there's gonna be a lot of people that comment you
just you could be giving up the love of your
life only because he's just a few inches shorter than
you'd like.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Don't listen to the haters. Be a hater.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
I'm never gonna be a hater. So, okay, I thought
we'd start off and I I want you, guys, You're
probably gonna make fun of me, but I want you
to honestly give me your true feedback on what I wrote,
because I really thought this out and I did it
from my heart, and I did it professionally.
Speaker 3 (06:59):
Did Marie for you?
Speaker 1 (07:00):
She did not okay?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
All right?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
And I ran it by her and she she okayed
all of it. She's been Yeah, she approves, she approved.
I know. Actually get her home mic she needs it
because she needs comments on some of this. So the
first so there were six pictures that I posted, new ones,
updated ones because I've been on this app before. And
(07:22):
then the first prompt is dating me is like mm hmmm,
so this is what I wrote.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
I'm terrified of the big one. No, you're not authentically fun.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Oh let me read it without your comments because it's
getting confusing.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
You're not terrified of the big one.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
I am terrified of big roller coasters.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Oh you were talking about roller coasters. Why that was
code for something else?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
What?
Speaker 5 (07:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (07:58):
Hold on, that is the stream.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
No, he needs to not comment, he needs to reading.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
She was being dirty.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Okay, I don't know anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Dating me is like writing a not so scary roller coaster.
I'm terrified of the big ones. Authentically fun and surprisingly,
it's exciting so much to laugh and talk about. My
book is open. I'm curious to dive into yours.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
That's okay, right.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
I would get rid of that first line.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
The way I have it in parentheses. It's like writing
a not so scary roller coaster because I'm afraid of
the scary ones.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
It's I don't.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Know, surprisingly exciting and fun.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I just don't know if it makes lots of sense.
Is it an innuendo too? I'm like not sure if
it is. No, but it kind of seems like it
could be like a bad one.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Well, I didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
I'm like, God, is this just like the worst in
window I've.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Ever heard of? A No, I was not doing that.
I was not doing anything like that.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
I would personally, I would say the first line is
just I don't quite understand it. Okay, I think the
rest of it's fine. All right, it does seem like you,
all right.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Continue.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
The way to win me over is make me laugh
till I cry with your wit, sarcasm and charm, and
don't take yourself too seriously. We are all flawed beings,
and sometimes those flaws are hysterical.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Okay, okay, okay, see, not too too cringey.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
It's a little it almost gets a little philosophical in
there with going on about the flaws. Boom. Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm trying to be original and kind of unique and
to stand out and be myself all these things. It's hard,
all right, all right? Next one?
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Oh boy, oh geez?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
What is this one?
Speaker 2 (09:38):
A random fact? I love? Is it takes two billion,
three hundred and ninety five million, one hundred and sixty thousand,
plain eminems to fill an Olympic size swimming pool. So
I want to dive into it.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I so want to dive into Are you like thirteen
or something.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Oh, I've always wanted to dive into a pool full
of eminem.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
You should keep that to yourself.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
That's a random fact.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
That's not a random random fact about yourself, about anything.
I think you should make it more about yourself. Okay,
it makes you more. That doesn't make you intriguing, that
makes you weird.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Well, let me tell you. I've received a lot of
comments about that.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
I know.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
I just okay, guys, trying to make okay.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Anyway, if you like it, keep it okay?
Speaker 2 (10:19):
Which event should we try? Time travel too?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
I had to pick these.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Wow, she's like these.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
Nineteen seventy two San Diego plane crash, not not too far?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
You really chose these?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
These are time These are things I'd like to time travel.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
Seventy six Woodstock concert in the park.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You're not too far off, Mars or Moon expedition, okay,
Studio fifty four in the seventies, Okay, that'd be really fun.
Retired living on the beach in Mexico.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
All right. Gives me a Shawshank redemption vibes.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And then this is what comes up. If somebody likes me,
this little sentence comes up.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
New matches will new matches will see your note before
the conversation starts. They can either unmatch or start the
chat after reading it.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Okay, that's it.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Get Ready, you're in for a crazy, positively unique experience.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
Okay, you should get rid of that asap. That's awful.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Why isn't it true? No, get ready, you're in for a.
Speaker 3 (11:30):
Unique It's so cringey. It It's also it's like when
someone says, like, oh, I guess I'm just quirky. It's
like it's way too quirky. Really okay, Like it's it's
almost kind of bizarre, all right, So like if I
saw that, I would unmatch really actually, yeah, all right,
it's really strange.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I gotta say. And Marie told me this was going
to happen right when I launched the app and it
went live. They send like the top up tier guys, right,
so I immediately had like ninety three likes and I can
only see one at a time since I don't pay
for it. Well, here are some and some of these
(12:14):
guys can send a little voice message just to introduce
themselves or say something interesting about themselves. So here are
four of them that I picked out.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
Put your headphones on, Eric, put your.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
Headphones on, because this is what is out there. Okay,
this is what's out there. Now, you tell me which one,
my god, you would date.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
Okay, my therapist would have a lot to say, mostly
don't revert back to my little street urchin self. Other
than that, good progress, not perfection.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Okay, what is that in response to.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Like a fact about me or something about.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
These guys are leaving like deep voicemail teams for you.
Speaker 1 (13:04):
No, that's not for me. These are on their program.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
Oh well, what is that specifically? And that's got to
be to a different prompt That doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Whatever, but listen to it. He sounds like he's like
half dead. Yeah, well okay, the other wise therapy, the
other one talks about I kind of wrote down what
they were talking about.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
All right, what does it say he was talking about
his pitch.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Oh he's pitching himself.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
You are looking for a long term, committed relationship with
a gentleman who still believes in treating a woman the
way they should be treated, respect valued, and honored. I'm open, honest,
and loyal. Communication is the key to a great relationship.
My major love languages are physical touch and quality time,
(13:51):
with gifting a strong third. Anyway, if this sounds good,
hit me up.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Okay, it sounds like you wrote that out.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
I would.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
Well, he sounds like a school teacher.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I get some real bad vibes from that guy. I
guarantee two perfect. She probably is loyal that he's been
cheated on. Also, bet he's not that nice to woman
he protects it waited too hard.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
There is a giant red flag waving about that for
some reason. And then this.
Speaker 3 (14:19):
I bet he's a huge misogynist.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
This guy, what did what did? What did?
Speaker 3 (14:23):
Memory?
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Oh, this is one of his childhood memories.
Speaker 6 (14:26):
Oh God, So when I was young, there was a
deer on the side of the road and I threw
open the car door, jumped out of the car, ran
out into the field and hugged it. And the whole
car stayed frozen because they didn't want me to get kicked.
And I just stayed there hugging it for a very
(14:48):
long time, and the deer just let me.
Speaker 5 (14:52):
I was young. What.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Wow, this is what is out there?
Speaker 3 (14:59):
My friend?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
This is just the two seventy plus. This sounds like
a dementia story.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Like no that even that guy was. I think that
guy was like forty ish.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
All right, but uh so this is kind of what
I'm uh, what I've experienced so far.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
I'd go on a date with him. I bet he's
real interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah, the deer hugger.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Yeah, honestly, I don't think there's any long term potential there,
but it'd be a funny story for sure.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You know what I think she should do. I think
she should get about twenty cats, gain about one hundred
and fifty six pounds, and just sit around and eat
frosting out of the can. Well.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
She's basically like that with dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
Oh man, I do that in other ways.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
It's gummy bears and dogs.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Marie, I don't want you do you want to?
Speaker 4 (15:51):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Okay, did you meet well did you meet your person
on my same app? Okay, we'll talk about We will
talk about it later. Let me just say it's so
far going very nice. They sat by the pool today
at his place, and how fun is that?
Speaker 2 (16:08):
I mean fun fun?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
And they're both and like she hasn't had there were
no major red flags. He's very nice to her. He's
very like respectable and happy. Laura.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
Laura's like minimal requirements.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
No, and I'm saying nice things. Oh, what's.
Speaker 3 (16:26):
I'll say something nice.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
No, he seems like a really nice person.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I'm glad that you sounds like it's a nice pool.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Is it? He does? God, it was a perfect day
to lay by the pool. I mean that's a nice date.
Second date.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
Wait, do you do you tell them about like the podcast?
Like you're like, want to hear something interesting about me?
Sometimes I am a gist on the podcast in my
living room.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, she's not dut she's.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I can't differentiate. She said to.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Him, she said something about the podcast, and he's like, oh, oh,
how like he wanted to know all about it and stuff.
I'm like, oh my god. If you would have invited
him in, he would have been on the podcast. So
I'm glad that you didn't because I probably would have
forced the pork to get on. That's not right. It
would be bad. And I know myself, like I know.
Speaker 3 (17:19):
That I would a guy in fifty days.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
I know, but uh more, Oh, okay, one more? Oh god,
this guy, this guy, this is an older guy.
Speaker 5 (17:30):
Burgonzola butter cheese in equal parts garlic, gorgonzola, or blue cheese,
and then also Italian salted butter. You reduce all that
at low heat to make sure nothing burns. Mix it
together when it's mixed equally. Put that back into a
container under the freezer. And now you've got that for
cooking later. Are we going to put that on steaks?
(17:52):
Are we going to mix that with a little bit
of olive oil and make a salad dressing? What are
we gonna do with that? Let's cook?
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Do you know the only thing that's burning? After hearing
that on my ears, I know.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Actually kind of like his voice though.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
It creeped me out, but yeah, he sounds like somebody
that would be telling you at some point in your relationship,
who puts lotion in the basket like something.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Yeah, and I did a voice prompt and I didn't
put it on, and it's on my phone and I
you can't get on my app. Maybe you on and
it's okay, it's it's something. It's not very I am
not getting on your app.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
You've got some promising guys here, no way. Okay. If
you had to pick one of them, which one would
it be?
Speaker 1 (18:39):
The deer Hugger? Probably just because it's kind of cute
and interesting.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
It's not that cute, but definitely the therapy guy. Also
former sea urchin or street urchin.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (18:54):
I don't know if does that mean he was part
of a gang or is it a misdemeanor or something?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
No, he probably that's just like a you know, like
the urchins in the sea, like a little ree urchin.
Speaker 3 (19:03):
That's that's like.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
A Is that a like a slang term for something that's.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Slang for someone who used to be on the streets
a lot?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Oh boy, that.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Gives me crime vibes. I could also just mean, I guess,
like a bum or something. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (19:18):
Definitely not the pitch the high pitch guy or the uh,
the guy giving his sales pitch. No, he's got kids too.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
I bet.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
I am an open book. Yes, and I should not
tell this story.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Oh boy, here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
You should tell it.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
No, I really shouldn't. It's because all right, I want
you to know, just can I can I preface this
by saying that I am. I go through phases like
my gummy bear phase, like my chewing ice phase, like
(20:01):
I go through little weird phases. Sure, when I have
like a hundred dollars bill in my wallet.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
You go through a spending money.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Phase, I go, I want to play those damn penny
slot machines. I love them. I'm not a gambling addict
yet because I can't. I don't have the money to
be an addict. I don't have the money to lose,
or even the money to start. So I stay. I
go one hundred dollars and that's it.
Speaker 3 (20:26):
I mean, that could still be a gambling addicte.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I know, well, I am an addict after all, but
hopefully this will pass. But this is what I did
last night. No, no, I'm like driving home from my
mom's house. It was I left at nine thirty at
night last night. I got to Temecula because she lives
(20:49):
in Rancha Cucamonga. I'm like, I think there's like a
sino right around here because we went to see what's
her face at Pachunga. Oh yeah, remember Kathy Griffin? Oh yeah,
so I said.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Pachanga, Pachanga. It's Pachanga. Uh this whole time I thought
it was Pachanga.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
And did you know it's Coal's Mountain, not cows Coals Mountain.
I'll explain though it's not Cow's Mountain. Everybody calls it Cows.
The man who gave the land to the city was
named George Coles.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Yeah, but it's named Cow's Mountain. We changed it.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
So I said to myself, you know what f it,
it's Mother's Day. I can do whatever I want. My
kids were so sweet enough to send me these beautiful flowers,
and they each called me, but I didn't have them
with me. I had my mom. It was great to
spend time with Earth, but I'm like, I'm gonna do
something fun for myself. Pulled off the freeway. No oh no,
(21:53):
got out. I was in my pajamas, but I changed
into this like sloppy sun dress that I had just
so would be my job, just like this. It wasn't cute.
It was just like a throw like a cover up,
a beach cover up. Pretty much had no makeup on.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
So trashy, so trashy.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
I sit down at a slot machine that had three
different there were three machines, and there's two guys sitting
next to me. So this one guy was winning like
eighteen hundred dollars and I was excited for him. So
I'm like, yeah, all right, good, that's awesome. Good for you.
So we started like talking. All of a sudden, it's
(22:36):
like three o'clock in the morning. Yep, we the three
of us, these two guys, and I are having a blast.
He's floating me the money that he's winning, and we're
we're betting like thirty dollars a hit. Like this guy
is out of control, and I was all about it.
It was so fun, god, because I wasn't by money.
(22:57):
So he like walks away with like three grand right,
and he goes, do you want to come up and
see my room?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Oh god, oh no, let me.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
Tell you something. I was totally kidding. I wasn't. I
was vibing with this guy. We were like having a
lot of fun. He was a little bit younger. He
was probably in his late forties, so it wasn't that
much younger than me. He goes, why are you like
he goes stand up straight or you know your posture.
He was just kind of give me grief. I'm like, well,
(23:28):
I'm not wearing a bra. That's why I didn't want
to blink, because I you know, I didn't want to
say why because I kind of have a problem with
in the nipple region if I don't wear a bra.
So I was like going like this. So he's like, no,
sit up straight, my god, Oh no, I was doing everything.
It was just such an inappropriate story. I'm telling you this.
(23:49):
So he goes, all right, it was like three now,
three thirty. He had to go to work, he had
to leave at five am. But he goes, we have
a penthouse. I go, all right, I'll go because there's
two guys, all right, and.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Which makes it so much, so much worse.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
I am the biggest dumb dumb now they think about it,
but they seemed cool. I didn't get a bad vibe
from them at all. I go up to the room,
I look around. The guy grabs me around my bat.
He liked to hug me, and he cracks my back
for me, and then he goes, I want to see
(24:25):
you again. And he lives in La I guess, but
he's always down, Like once a month. He comes to
Pachana Gun and stays for like the weekend, and he
was kind of funny, But like, do I want to
do that?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
I don't know how this story ended without something.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Without penetration. Oh, I don't know how well?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
I like, I don't. I don't understand why, Okay, because.
Speaker 1 (24:56):
I'm impulsive and I do things like.
Speaker 3 (24:59):
No, that's fine, Like I'm like, that's not the most insane,
Like you know, if that had been like a hookup story,
that wouldn't be the most insane hookup story I've ever heard.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
And you know what he told me this.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Is it's almost crazier that it didn't end in that.
Speaker 1 (25:12):
My favorite thing of the whole night was he goes,
I love women with curbs. You've got a great, nice,
big booty.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And somehow you went to his penthouse and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Well, wait, there was another dude. There was like his
best friend.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
I'm not that doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
I'm surprised a kniffel tower didn't happen exactly.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I was not gonna do anything. I didn't kiss him,
I didn't do any of that. I didn't like any
of that.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
I bet that guy was pissed. No, it was like disappointed.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
He's like that too bad?
Speaker 3 (25:48):
Yeah, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
But I got home at five in them oh god,
because I still had to drive to San Diego. I had,
oh Jesus, all that he won and that we were
playing with I I didn't end up with any of it,
which is fine, because he didn't he didn't owe me
any money. That's it was his money. We were playing
(26:11):
with it. It was just a fun time. I didn't
lose any money. I didn't win any money. I did
something stupid.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Oh my god, wait what else?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
No, I shouldn't have gone up to somebody's stranger's hotel
drink strangers and they were totally drinking and both men.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
Yeah, I mean definitely if you're not prepared for the
I guess the.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
And you know what men have that women don't have?
What wiers?
Speaker 1 (26:38):
Oh god, Yeah, it was not wrong. That was not
something I was.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
They Oh they were.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
Yeah, if that was something that was out of the
realm of question, why would you go up to their
hotel room?
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Do you see how cool it was? They had the penthouse,
they had the beautiful view of the pool. I don't know.
I'm I'm the most naive person in the world on it.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
I'm like shocked, you're.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
Shocked at my stupidity.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
If you give me one hundred dollars, I can I
can go like this with my finger and make it
two hundred?
Speaker 3 (27:08):
Can I almost I'm almost wondering if you're just like
you're leaving out, you're just stay.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
Up lying I didn't do anything on tour.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Because let's just recap. What happened is you went to
the casino and you were there till three am, flirting
with the guy the entire time who's clearly making like
sexual advances.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
And then we shared a seat at one point because.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Holy okay, you share worse.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
And then he goes, hey, come up to my penthouse
and you go, okay, sure, and you go up to
his penthouse and you're like, but nothing happened, and I
got home at five am, might go are you sure?
Speaker 1 (27:39):
Well? I just love wrong. This is a great, great
meeting you guys. I hope you have a good day
at work tomorrow. Thank you so much for letting me
play with you. It was really fun. And I wasn't
going to sweat right now to tell anybody that's oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
Because here's the thing. If like, let's say something did happen,
I'd be like, oh, that's crazy. You know, it's a
hookup story whatever. But the fact that nothing did happen
and you got him at five am after all, that
is like almost weirder of a story.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I didn't want to do anything, and that's fine.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
That's fine, But then no, you weren't friends.
Speaker 1 (28:13):
I know, I know.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
He why did you go to his pet hoouse? That's crazy?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
But nobody on this planet has ever told me I
had a big booty, and that made me so happy.
I don't know what I was because I don't have
a big booty. I want like a kurvy booty, but
I don't.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Have all Right, all right, that's that's great and all.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Anyway, So there's that. Now I'm super uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
Now everybody's gonna write me, well, Laura can, Lauric can
take our profile down now.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Because nobody's gonna I think he's rich.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
How you get a pehouse?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Well, he said he works well, and he was betting,
like at one point he was betting thirty dollars a spin.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
He said he works for some tax company and that
he helps people, uh figure.
Speaker 3 (29:01):
Out their tax hlo.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
No, like a like a tax rise something like that.
Like people that help you deal with your back taxes
and help you make payments. And he says he likes
helping people.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Sure, yeah, I became a tax Atney Penthouse hotel room.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And the guy who was with is this friend from
like high school that they've been Buddies forever, and this
poor guy lost two thousand dollars within it.
Speaker 2 (29:31):
I would I would have been I would have had a.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
So bummed out. He was like so sad.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
So I was like, don't worry. I'm gonna get us
a girl and we'll do it together.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
God oh god, oh god, oh god.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
It's like I know how to make you feel better.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
I'm like shocked.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
How here's the thing about me. I I'm addicted to excitement.
That's what I've learned. I'm addicted to excitement and adventure
and the un But.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
You like, also never commit to excitement.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
That was exciting to me. Oh that was exciting to me.
And to be in the casino and hit the button
and it was thirty buttons, Like.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
You're like committed, You're so addicted to like such a
low level of excitement.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Brian, that's what she's calling it now, hitting the button?
Speaker 3 (30:18):
Oh got it?
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Do you got? Are you disappointed in me? Guys? Are
you very disappointed?
Speaker 3 (30:25):
I'm just like so confused, but you know.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Me, yeah, no, no, I'm like this, you know, I'm
kinda I'm not I'm not playing with the full deck,
as my dad would say.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
I guess everyone else, not Scenariol be like, screw it,
I'm here, which you know, screw it.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I'm here, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Well, I think most people would have either said no,
I'm not going to your penthouse, or they said screw it,
I'm going up to your penthouse just.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
To see it. No one does that happen because I'm
a curious person.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
No that, Oh yeah, no, I know that. I'm just
like and then he.
Speaker 1 (30:59):
Tried to crack my back and he did the ever
so slightly boob uh not the the grays, and I
noticed that. I was like, all right, it's time to
leave it because things are He's starting to uh get
a little handsy, and.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You I, oh, okay, oh you know, you know I
wanted to you know, he wanted to crack more than
your back. Yeah, clearly that I totally wanted to crack
your was obvious.
Speaker 3 (31:28):
Actually, I do feel a little bad for him because
he's like, hey, when come my panals? You're like, yeah, sure,
and then you get there, like I literally just came
to see your penthouse and you leave like once again.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
He was sharing it with his best friend. What are
we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (31:41):
Like the guy Theiffel Tower maybe the friend was gonna
step I don't know, but all right, I'm sure you
gave off some bad I hate.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
Myself for telling that story. I'm going to edit this
whole thing out.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
And you know what the best part is is that
you didn't just tell the room, you told all of America.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I know it's story.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is this kind of like I need to like not
be this kind of person. I don't know what will
fill me where I.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
Won't do things, don't go up to strange men's apartments
without explicit intention to do so.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
It's a good thing I wasn't there.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh you would have cock blocked. Yeah you are. You
wouldn't have even let me put.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
A dollar in the.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Okay, So that said. My niece and I went to
a crystal shop on Mother's Day, Becau. There's one down
the street from my mom where she goes and buys
her sis. There's this liquor store where she goes buys
her SIGs and her lottery tickets or scratcher. She loves doing.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
I love talking to her.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
She's so happy that you texted her for Mother's Day.
She loved it. She loved you so much. Anyway, I
bought this kit for eleven dollars and it's a money
manifesting kit, which you can see how hard this door this.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
I could hear your eye roll from here.
Speaker 3 (33:05):
They were like spot machines. Actually it was like the
wheels spinning and the slot machine. That's how hard my
eyes were rolling.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
It came with a candle.
Speaker 3 (33:12):
Came with some money.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
It came with some oil and some like some stuff
that looks like it almost looks like marijuana, but it
was you know, stuff you put in. It's like popoury.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Okay, So pray, tell how does this so money?
Speaker 1 (33:28):
You take the oil and you counter not counterclockwise, clock clockwise,
you rub it on the candle.
Speaker 3 (33:34):
So if you do it the wrong way, do you
lose money?
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I don't know. This is just what the woman told me, okay.
And then you roll it in the little shavings or whatever.
And then before that you I had to put my initials.
You carve your initials into the candle. You say your intention,
you write it down. Okay, prepare your working space, remove
(34:00):
items from the kit, write a petition of intent stating
what will happen, not what you hope will happen. That's
the key. Light the candle and then do the oil thing.
Sprinkle the herbs, da da da da, light the candle
and meditate on the intention that you wrote about, and
(34:23):
stay with the candle until it's completely done burning, which
I didn't because I had to blow it out. But
this is what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Oh it didn't work.
Speaker 1 (34:30):
No, I just had to stop. I mean, I don't
want to know my mom's cool. Well, do you want
to know what I wrote?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
Money?
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Money, now, money me please.
Speaker 1 (34:38):
I did this with my niece and it was very
bonding experience because she's looking for a job. They're bonding
over we're bonding over weirdness. So all right, here we go.
May eleventh, twenty five Mother's Day. Okay, the last Mother's
Day I will celebrate as a money strikeruggling perts person person, person.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
Are your teeth falling out?
Speaker 3 (35:05):
Person?
Speaker 2 (35:05):
What's happening?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (35:07):
Do you want me to read it?
Speaker 1 (35:08):
I'm really nervous because you guys are like, I'm very vulnerable.
Speaker 3 (35:11):
What's going on?
Speaker 2 (35:12):
May eleventh, twenty twenty five Mother's Day.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I kind of don't want you to read it because
I might want to leave parts out.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I read all the last Mother's Day I will celebrate
as a money struggling person. Next I will be the
next morning new Inkjel on a Christmas tree. A significant
amount of money will be in my bank account within
a few days. Yes, I will spoil Evan in June
(35:43):
because I'll have more money. Lots of money is on
the way very soon. Is there more?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
No, that's it. I think that's what I wrote. And
you know what landed in my account today, surprisingly, so
expectedly nine dollars from tax return money that was mistakenly
left out of my tax return.
Speaker 3 (36:09):
That's not unexpected, that's just the irs. That's not like
your windfall of cash you manifested.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
This was unexpected because there was a mistake on my
Okay sure, but whatever it happened, some money let it
in my account.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
So we'll see if this time next year if your
money struggling perchain.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
And then tonight is important since we're on this woo
woo journey right now. It is a full moon, and Eric.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Has it does happen once a month, It.
Speaker 1 (36:37):
Does, but this is an important one. Apparently they say
this about every full moon, but every full moon has
like something special about it. So here we go. It's tonight.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
This is called moonomentons.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Oh, that's a reliable source.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
This full moon in Scorpio is not here to come,
It is here to liberate. It asks you to feel
what you're buried, to feel what you've buried, to release
what no longer honors your growth, and to trust the
wisdom of your emotions in shedding skin. Your shedding skins,
your trance, muting pain into power. The depths you're navigating
(37:19):
now are not meant to break you, but to awaken you.
Let go, surrender to what's being revealed. You're not falling apart,
You're being reborn into a truer or freer version of yourself.
Trust the transformation you are rising from within.
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Okay, now, all read yours? This is what it means
for Leo.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
Well do you Leo?
Speaker 1 (37:37):
I mean, I mean Capricorn. I forgot to do you? Sorry?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Brian, You're oh, I'm so hurt.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
This is what has going to happen to you. If
you go out in the moon tonight and say a
little intention okay, which you probably won't because you don't
believe in that kind of stuff, do you, we'll see. Well,
we're going to go out together and hold hands. I'm
going to make you do it. Twenty twenty five breaks
open the armor you've worn for years, the role of
(38:04):
the strong one, the achiever, the one who endures silently.
It no longer fits. This is the year you release
the weight of proving yourself. You've earned the right to rest.
Let go of the belief that success is the only
measure of worth. Your soul is calling for connection, creativity,
(38:27):
and softness. You are not your title, your goals, or
your control. What wants you to emerge now is the tender,
intuitive part of what you've suppressed for so long. The
transformation may feel vulnerable, but it's also your liberation. Let
(38:50):
go of the fortress which you do build. You build
fortresses around yourself. What is coming is more human, more real,
and more fulfilling. Okay, okay, now here's mine, I'll read
yours can read mine?
Speaker 2 (39:08):
Gemini. Guess who's got a birthday coming up?
Speaker 5 (39:11):
Side?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
I know on a Saturday night, enough four.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Maybe twenty twenty five whispers to your restless heart that
not every connection must be maintained. You're releasing the habit
of scattering your energy into too many places, conversations and ideas.
It's time to say goodbye to what no longer nourishes
your mind or spirit. There's beauty in quiet, in depth
and staying the transformation. This year is about intimacy with
(39:40):
yourself and with others who meet your soul. That could
have happened the other time.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
I know.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
Who meet you soul to soul and just not mine
to mine. Let go of the version of you who
needed to be liked, needed to be everywhere at once.
You don't have to earn love with words. You're already
enough in silence. What remains when you stop entertaining the
world is your truth, and that truth is magnetic.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
Okay, so I'm gonna get laid this year. It's not
basically what it's saying, intimacy. It's unfortunate whatever, all right, anyway,
that's just part of it. So I'm gonna go out
on the moon. I'm going to charge my crystals. It's
like a really cool I know fran is just rolling
his eyes to death.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
I'm like having a seizure.
Speaker 1 (40:24):
I know, I feel really like I want to crawl
under a rock right now because I'm very embarrassed about
what I have revealed to you. Because now you guys
are gonna think I'm like this huge gambling attic. Like
I'm like, I'm going through a sweat phase or something
(40:45):
like that.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
The gambling was the least interesting part about that story.
You know what, Look, if you want to go through
a something, just do it. It's fine.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
But I I, it's been so long, I don't know
how to start. Like, I don't know how to do it.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
You just do what you're doing and just start actually
doing it.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
It's like when you haven't been to the gym in
a long time. It's just actually the.
Speaker 3 (41:06):
Weights and you start lifting them.
Speaker 1 (41:08):
It's it's easier said than done.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
I mean, you got like ninety nine percent of the
way there. You walked out of it. Oh my well, no,
just fine.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
Oh remind me speaking of working out on Thursday show,
reminds me to tell you about where I worked out?
Speaker 3 (41:27):
Oh okay, okay, And what happened?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Was it in Vegas?
Speaker 5 (41:31):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:31):
Huh okay. I got to hear about your bags? So
he went to Vegas this weekend, So we're gonna hear
about that.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
My friend Kate's wedding, yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
And that'll be fun. Then there's what else I wanted
to talk about something, but.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
I'm all, we'll touch it on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (41:46):
You're a mess right now. I want to know, how
do you how? How do you guys? How's this coming across?
Speaker 3 (41:53):
Just sign out?
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Brian?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
What come on?
Speaker 5 (41:57):
What?
Speaker 1 (41:59):
You're the one that I don't want to disappoint. I
don't know your Your opinion of me means a lot,
and like it's very low.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
Not kidding, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
It's like this story. I just told me. I think
you have a whole like other opinion of me.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
Now.
Speaker 3 (42:21):
No, I look, I am a feminist. I guess I
support your empowerment, however that may be. And uh, you know,
in terms of normal stuff or intimacy or not. So
ever you want to do is cool.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I just need to I need to just have a
kiss or do something. I need to start. It's been
so so long. I just don't know how to start,
and I'm very nervous about it.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I feel like it's something you can't really forget.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
It's like riding a bike.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
Lott. Yeah, look, here's the only two things. Be safe or.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Laura's pike still has the training wheels.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Oh god. Anyways, just be safe and I would say
be a little less naive don't go up to strange
men's penthouses without your intention of following through on the
very implicit and obvious, you know, outcome. If you don't
want to do it, that's fine, don't do it. If
you want to do it, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
Do it.
Speaker 3 (43:23):
I don't try to split the baby on that one,
I'd say, though, because that can be bad.
Speaker 2 (43:27):
I recommend that you keep both feet on the floor.
And if you can't do that, I swear something that
you can pull off over your head.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
All right, is there anything we can say to end
this podcast to make me feel a little bit better?
And everybody else?
Speaker 2 (43:44):
Thank god you didn't get pregnant by two guys over
Mother's Day weekend.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:51):
I will talk about Mother's Day weekend on Thursday too.
I love your podcast everybody past. Oh my god, this
might not be available tomorrow. I may erase it completely.
That's how I'm feeling. Love you, my sweet babies. Oh
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