October 9, 2025 • 29 mins
Cheesy, Topical, Stupid, Funny, Cute, Cringy...just a few adjectives to describe the pick-up lines we all try to use on each other as a means of practice. As a podcast field trip, we are all going to The Lafayette Hotel on Friday night to celebrate Laura's roommates' 30th birthday and Producer Bryan's last month on the show. Come on out and join the party. We'll be there all night and all day Saturday. And, the four of us are sharing two beds...it's going to be a #%& show. We're all single and ready to mingle, too. The episode starts off with a deep question "What is your flaw...the thing you hide from everyone?" We all must answer, and of course, Laura spills too much. Escapism at its funniest. Enjoy the show and LOVE YOUR PODCAST!!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Love it.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Hello, I'm Lurcane. My
co host is Eric Rimmer. Hi, welcome to Thursday. Welcome
day before the Lafayette Adventure and producer Brians You yeah,
the short timer.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I have a question for Eric, between me and Laura,
who do you think is wiser.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Now beyond? And you won't hurt my feelings? Think about
overall it's encompassing life, another experience wisdom.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Shoot, that's really hard because Brian at his tender age
is like a sixty year old. True, but you have
had some life experiences that have made you very wise.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I think that he has not gone through yet anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
True, very true?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Correct you?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I you know, I don't deny. You have much more
experience than me, which.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Has given me wisdom on certain ways that can't you
can't possibly understand having a child, losing a parent, what else,
having an addiction, going through rehab, come on.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Those are but those are experiences have shaped me ordering
door wisdom I could anyways.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, so thank you for joining us. We're going to
start the show with a question and you guys have
to honestly answer this, and then we're going to go
right into I have ton. You have a big stack
of pickup lines, Brian, Eric, you have a big stack
of pickup lines. Some of yours are Halloween specific, Yes
they are. And then I have pickup lines. We're going
(01:50):
to see which ones work because we might want to
use them on Friday night when we go to the
Lafayette and start our butts off because we're all single. Okay,
so let's get ready to mingle. So this is for practice. Okay.
Now my question is, and you have to answer, and
you have to answer honestly and don't make anything up.
(02:13):
What is your flaw? What is the one thing that
you hide from everybody that you are about to divulge
to the world. What is one thing that you hide
that you're now going to out yourself about. What's the
you're like flaw?
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, so about four nights out of seven, I sleep
on the couch instead of in my bedroom for years.
I okay, wait, there was another on top of your covers.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Wait, this is like your flaw.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
This is this is like I'm getting there. I'm digging deeper.
I don't sleep in my bed in the sheets. I
sleep on top of my comforter with a blanket over me.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
To be honest, I've been doing that for about four
months now. It's way better.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's so much better because you don't have to make
a bed.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I kind of agree.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay, so there's that. I love well. No, I love well.
You know, I love ninety day fiance. You know I
love like brain numbing shows. So there's not that. What
am I hiding? What am I hiding? Okay? I had
(03:33):
something in my brain and it just left. So now
you go, what's your flaw?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
What thing have you? Like? Not told anybody? It'll come
to me.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It'll come to probably that Well. Normally I don't care
like what people think about me at all, Like I
couldn't give two shits, Like if somebody does like me,
they don't like me. But sometimes when people say stuff
to me, certain things like it bothers me.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That brings up a point. Yes, the good things. Think
about all the good things people have said about you
in comments and stuff. The things that I remember are
the mean ones. Why is that?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Well, and it's not even that like, it's not comments
like that, it's normal. It's mainly when it comes from
somebody that you is in your inner circle, like you
really care about them or whatever, and they say horrible,
horrible things. That's where it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Have I ever said anything horrible to you?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Time?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
What's the most horrible thing I've ever said to you?
Is there anything that sticks with you, like something that like.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You remember that anything horrible to me?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I've never hurt your feelings?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Have you ever heard my feelings?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Well, with this whole friend thing, I'm getting my feelings
hurt a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
That's yours.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I know it is that I need to be like number.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We're going to add.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Oh, okay, I have it. I have it. I do
not when I get ready, Oh, I have always my
entire life. I sit on the floor in front of
the mirror. I don't get ready in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh wait, hold on, hold on. Laura's like, give us
your fatal deep flaw and told anyone And then she
just lifts out a couple of on top of the
covers the floor to get ready.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Last week, three days out of the week, I didn't
brush my teeth at night.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That's pretty gross.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And one day I went to work and was so
rushed I didn't brush them in the morning. I did
not make that story there was one day last week
where I didn't brush my teeth for twenty four hours.
I'm going to tell you this, right, that is the
grossest thing ever do that.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I'm going to give her a little bit of tough love.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
This was a one time I fell asleep on the couch.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You said you three nights in a row you didn't
brush your teeth because I fall asleep on the couch.
But here's the problem. What she's now single and ready
to mingle. At some point you're gonna be given BJ's
And if your teeth fall out, can you imagine if
the tooth it's just she's just gonna gum people stop it.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Well, that's probably better considering my last.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That will definitely shoot to the top of your list
as a fatal flaw.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
No, that'll be like a plus if I am gumming.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It, No, because I won't do the podcast anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
If you have no teeth, okay, oh my god, whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
If I have to look at you and there's one
tooth out of place that.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I know, if I don't, okay, don't worry about it now, Brian, Yes,
what is something that you hide about yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think my fatal flaw as I am too perfect
and it throws people off. It's it's off putting to me.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I would agree this is making me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It's attracted to you right now. Oh my god, that's
because you're bragging your bag.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I am bragging.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You've got to keep it going then through Friday, because
I don't think I could take her trying to pull
your pants down.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I'm not going to try to.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
All right, we can skip past that part or her
doing like the whin Harry met Sally thing at the diner.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I'm not gone.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I will say, you know, Laura brapped to me. She goes.
I think it's cockiness. And you know what, in this context,
at least on the show, Yeah, I will agree. I'm
pretty cocky here.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
So yeah, look at that now.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I think it's a little bit of my character, my affect.
I don't think I'm actually that cocky.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And Brian just said Brian just said the word cock
Did that?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Do it?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Dude?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Eric Chillo? Hell out Jesus. Can't get to like thirty
like three seconds and he's already like he's like, I
heard a word. I'm just trying to make sure it's
not getting her all riled up because you good to
know say, I'm just trying to protect you.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
When we talked about my dick dar, which is my superpower.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Please, for the love of God, can i'm shuting this down.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I just want to say, I'm not going into detail.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I just want to say that my vision that came
to me like in a flood, because I can't summon it,
only listen. No, his was the most one of the
most detailed I'd ever received in like it comes to me,
so I know exactly what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I'm deleting all these podcasts anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I'm sorry. I mean, I I will probably never
get to prove it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Just her vision was just like it was. You were
carrying a fire hydrant in front of you, so pretty much.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Okay, anyway, so what is your fatal flaw? Did?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Wow? I know what your fatal fly is you. I'm here,
all right.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
So I'm going to go first with a couple of
my pickup lines, and you see if any of these
work on you, because girls can do pickup lines too. Sure,
all right, I'm just I'm just coming up to you
at a bar. Okay, Okay, you can delete the app
now I'm here.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It's softly cocky.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Okay, Ryan, get me out of here.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah. See, I'd be like, that's kind of all right.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh? My god, terrible?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
This is this is how Laura is with dad jokes.
This is how I am with pick up.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, there must be something wrong with my eyes. I
can't seem to take them off of you. Oh these
are really bad. So okay, so these aren't working.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Here's the thing. Even it's like the most like beautiful
woman the world approached me with these, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Like, oh, if it's clever and funny, then maybe, but
let me get it. I'm getting there. Your lips look lonely?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Gross?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Would you like them to meet mine?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Terrible?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Gross?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I'm not currently an organ donor, but I'd love to
give you my heart.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
If you let me borrow a kiss, I promised to
give it right back.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh at this point I would just blow my brains
out of Okay, you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Can't because you can't lead off with like a like
wanting to give some one a kiss and you've just
met them.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Okay, if I'm flirty and if I'm like on, if
I'm like trying to like get it.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
The other ones are at least like they smooth, they're starting
now small. This one's like just straight up, like, let
me kiss you.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Okay, Eric, you go with some of yours. Oh you're
touching me?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming
off at midnight? Okay, baby, you make my palm, sweaty knees,
weak arms, spaghetti.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Oh god, oh my.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
God, that's so bad.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's horrific.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I'm not even going to read some of these because
they're so stupid.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you,
everyone else disappears.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Oh that's kind of sweet. That's a little sweet.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
That is like, that's like the very borderline of what
might work of it's so cheesy. It's okay, but like
that is barely cut.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Your ass is so nice that it's a shame that
you have to sit on it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Oh I like that.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Oh my god, maybe that works.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
That kind of works a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Your daddy must be a drug dealer because you're dope.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Oh no, no, double and words are terrible.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You must be jelly because jam don't shake like that.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Oh terrible?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, Oh my god, they're making you sad. Are you
a charger because I'm dying without you? Oh God, my
bad god? Uh is there an airport nearby? Is that
my heart taking off? Jesus?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
This is that's cross?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Is your name Jimmy? Because I've fallen for you?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
So that's not good?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Come on, just roll some out brainstorming here, come on,
let's let's go.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Did you invent the airplane? Because clearly, because you're clearly
mister right. Oh, i'd have to say that to Brian.
Oh is your dad a boxer? Because you're a knockout?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
How can I plan our wedding without having your number?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, my god, that's really presumptuous.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Are you a keyboard? Because you just might be my type? Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Terrible?
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Okay, okay, now we're at a Halloween party.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Okay, now we're at halloween party. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Hey, hey, your costume looks complicated. Do you need help
taking it off? That's actually okay, that's like kind of bold,
but like it's it's bold. It's bold. That one's actually
all right? Okay, Okay, why are you dressed as a baker?
It's Is it the only costume that could handle your buns? No?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
No, well, I was going to be as a ghost tonight,
but I wanted to show you my sheets later.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh my god, all right, that's kind of okay, it's
kind of okay.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I don't know what the trick is, but you've got
to be the treat. No, I can't find a costume,
So can I go with your boyfriend? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Kind of cute, a little tiny bit, but that could
creep me out.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I totally carve your pumpkin. That just sounds like a
serial killing.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That's gross.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yes, there's no.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I don't understand this girl. Are you a pokemon? Because
I would choose you. I don't get that.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I don't I would. I wouldn't punch someone in the
face if they said that.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Okay, okay, Brian, see if you can see if you
got any good ones.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Here's an example of a really bad one on my sheet.
I'd like you to I'd like to take you to
the movies, but they don't let you bring in your
own snacks.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Oh god god.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Oh, I'm not even playing cards, but somehow I've pulled
a queen.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh that's sweet. I like that. That's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Are you too insane?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That one like that?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
One's not that bad.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, that one I don't want either. You are not
using that at the hotel. I'm not using a pickup
I period. Well here I am. What are your other
two wishes?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Oh my god, I like it.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I like it.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
That's a classic. I have a phone number, You have
a phone number. Think of all the possibilities now by
Oh I hate this one. I've got all these forks
and knives, and all I need is a little spoon.
Oh my god, that's kind of funny. Yeah. Oh, here's going.
(14:47):
Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
Oh god, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
That is terrible.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Oh god, here's a bad one. You just come out
of an oven because you're too hot to hand. Oh jeez, No,
I think we've met before. Actually, never mind, I think
it was just in my dreams.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Oh that is I just threw up in my mouth.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I just wet myself. I bet my number sounds nicer
than yours. Want to hear it? Oh okay, I.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Like that clever.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, trust me, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by you.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Oh. I kind of like that. That's kind of nice.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I could see that working. I don't know if I
think if it's a good one. Though. Do you have
a mirror? Because I can see us together? God, that's it?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Okay? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.
The only number I don't see here is yours? Oh
do you have Instagram? My parents always told me to
follow my dreams.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I don't forget that.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Are you an artist? Because you're really good at drawing
me in? Angels should be in? How'd you escape? These
are terrific? Oh my god, well here I am. Oh
that you'd say? What are your other two wishes?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
What is it like to be the most gorgeous person
in this room? Would that work?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
No? Okay, because I'd just call you a liar.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Oh my god, Oh that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
You must be a talented thief because you managed to
steal my heart all the way over here.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I really think this one's awful. If you and I
were socks, we'd make a great pad. Okay, let's stupid.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Okay, you're looking a little sick. You must be suffering
from lack of vitamin me. Oh, oh my god, are
you a wi Fi router? Because I'm feeling a connection.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Excellent?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you have a band aid? I scraped my knees
falling from my god.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Like the same three jokes over and over again.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
If you were a Transformer, you'd be optimist. Fine. Oh no,
let's play a game, not hide and seek, though people
like you are hard to find. Oh Jesus, do you
like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me. Oh, it's
(17:30):
a good thing. I have my library card because I'm
totally checking you out.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I would have you removed from the bar.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
If being beautiful was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I'd order an angel shot.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So it's stupid.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
My mom told me not to talk to strangers online,
but I'll make an exception for you. It's not it's
like that. I don't Did you go to school at Hogwarts?
Because I'm feeling the magic? Oh my god, Okay, Harry
Potter reference at all is a red flag. Oh I'm
really glad. I just bought life insurance because when I
(18:06):
saw you, my heart stopped.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
It was done, Laura, I can't handle yours anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute cumber.
I'm sorry. They're terrible. I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Okay, I don't read a couple more.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, wait, we did like a.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Couple a couple. I have a half page left. Okay,
all right, fine, I'm not reading all of them. Are
you tired? You've been running through my mind all day?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Oh that's the old one. That one's an old, boring one.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
What's your favorite drink? I'm asking so I know what
to buy you when we go out in our first date.
I can see that one actually working. But it's not
like a joke.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It's a little dry.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I don't know. My delivery is not the most.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
No, it's not. Come on, come on, sell it, sell it,
sell it, sell it sound.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I'm learning about important dates in history. I want to
be one of them.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yoah see I like that.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
They say dating is a numbers game. So can I
get yours?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Oh okay, that's on the line.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
When I text you good morning tomorrow, what number should
I text? That's that's cute, kind of works a little
bit of a version. There, Hi, my name is blank,
but you can call me tomorrow. Oh oh, there's something
wrong with my phone that doesn't have your number in it. Oh,
that's like what the greaser from like a sixties movie.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
There's something wrong with my phone. It doesn't have your
numb my number, your number in it. Yeah, it's like
the fawns.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Would say that fIF ten or something.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Oh my god, you don't you have any more? I'll
be done. Okay. So none of those, well a couple
of those worked. Now you would never use a pickup
line at a bar? No, okay? All right. Then here's
my last question before we end this, because I have
oh wait, oh Eric, But let me just ask you something.
(19:58):
You see a woman at.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I'm afraid of woman, I'm leaving.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You see a woman that is like that is attractive
to you, and you're like a little bit buzzed, and
you're like, I think I'm gonna Are you gonna go
for it? I will? Would you go up to her?
And what would you say? For a spoon?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Hi? How okay? Come on, Brian, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Hi. It's so dependent on context. There's no one size
fits all.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Like you're walking up she's at the bar, at the
round bar, and you're walking up to get a drink.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Anyone actually does that?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Whatever?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Theoretically, yes, if I was just forced to by unseen forces,
just walk up to random check who's probably deep in
conversation with her friends.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
No, she's not, she's alone.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Oh that I don't want to talk to her. That's depressing.
She went to herself by a bar and she's drinking.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You don't know that her friend might be in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Okay, fine, I walk up and I say, can't buy
your drink because that's really what chicks go to bars
for us, drink.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know what you're that's probably a good opening line.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
If I don't leave with that, her opening line will
be you buy me a.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Drink, or that's what she's thinking in her head. Yes
for sure. Okay. So Eric is notorious for his customer
service calls. In fact, he was so mad at one
furniture company that we're not going to scream out, oh
my god, that he ended up because it took him
so long to get his couch he ordered.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Almost a year that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
He got it for free, almost almost and it's a
beautiful couch, but like he raised health or a custom
couch he did all I mean, like they did him
dirty and say.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yeah, it was a sectional and they only delivered like
half of it. And then they were like you okay
with that, And I'm like, let me see.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
At and T has gotten the brunt. A car dealership
has gotten the brunt.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Amazon?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Is this what you're going to talk about? Amazon? Got
it too?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh yeah, I've been on a roll this week.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Well, okay, go for it.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Let's hear it, let's see Okay, all right, So do
you guys know the you know, like Factor and Harvest
and all that, but these So about a year ago,
a friend of mine had given me one of these
little things to try. I had tried Factor and it
was all right, but it's so expensive that's like I
(22:20):
could just and the portions are so small that you're like,
I could just make this at home, Like this is.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
It's all seemed Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
It's a couple, you know, one hundred dollars a month. Okay,
you know, maybe four hundred dollars a month when you
total it out, depending on how many meals you get.
So I had tried this one called cook Unity and
about a year ago, and I got like eight meals
for fifty bucks or whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
It was like a promo type of thing.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, it was a promo. It was okay. They I
was like, you know, same thing small portions. I was like,
all right, whatever, So I canceled it after the promo,
never visited the website again, never got on it, canceled everything.
So last week on Wednesday, I get I wake up,
(23:14):
I'm getting ready for works bing. I get a text message,
your community order is being delivered shortly. Oh oh, and
I'm like, I didn't order it, so it said you
can track it here. So I was because of so
many scams, I was like, I'm not now. So the
first thing I did was check my bank account. Cook
(23:34):
Unity had debited almost two hundred dollars out of my account,
and I was like, wait what, Oh, Eric's So I
was like, first of all, I don't know how they
got it because I had canceled everything and I've switched
credit cards in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
That's freaky.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So I got online and looked. I didn't even have
my passwordain or like I had to go on create
a new password, go in and look, and it said
there was an order on its way. All of a sudden,
ban your orders delivered. I open my front door. It
is a hugemongous box, like the size of this chair.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
What for one person?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
For one person? There were twelve or fourteen meals in
there that you had to eat by the seventh of October.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And I'm like and it was nothing that I would eat.
So it was like shrimp and beef and like nothing
I would ever eat. I don't eat any of that stuff.
So I email them, I get on, I go to
get a customer service number. You can only do it
by chat, I hate, so yeah, So in a chat box, right,
(24:49):
So I'm like hey, and I responded to the text.
I was like, I didn't order any food, don't deliver this.
As soon as I found out that they ordered that
they had debited my camp then I did anyway. So
the person says, we'll have to get back to you
in twenty four hours. So I'm like great. So in
(25:10):
the meantime, I call my bank, I have them reverse
the charge. I email them again and I'm like, I'm
not waiting, just refund my card, Like I didn't authorize this,
I never got on and placed in order. So the
very next morning I get another chat and a response
(25:31):
and it says, you put in a promo code and
ordered two weeks worth of food and we're not refunding
your money. Uh. Oh it's on, and so I was like,
game on.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
He lives this.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
So I said, I said, you are refunding my money.
And I said, here is the name and number of
my attorney. He will be calling you, or you can
call him. I don't give a shit. However, you want
to figure this out, sir? You placed this order on
the twenty second, and then you you canceled your account yesterday,
(26:11):
And I said no, I had to get into my
old account to figure out.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I'll still a chat, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
To figure out how an order was placed. Well, and
then they said they literally said to me, well, someone
logged on and then nothing happened. So we just selected
food for you. Oh boy, bam, that's all I needed
right there. So I was like, I said, fine, don't
call my attorney. I said, I do a podcast.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Oh god, here.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
I said, I said, I will be talking about this.
You can tune in and watch with fifteen minutes. Bam,
it was all refunded.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Really it worked.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That worked.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Now, let's not make a habit of this. No, well,
that makes us look real bad.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I'm a little bit. I don't want to ask about Amazon, don't.
I don't. I don't want to ask about Amazon.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Great show.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
You know you can ask about Ammaz No.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I want to know first of all, real quick. Tomorrow night,
Lafayette Night. You guys come hang out with this if
you want to. It's a really cool place, super fun.
We're celebrating Brian leaving and then Marie is turning thirty,
my roommate, and it's going to be a big fun
event and we're going to have a blast. So anyway,
thoughts about attire. You said it's more dressy, like just
(27:35):
be classy, but not like something like this. They'd probably
be fine, but you said no flowers.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I just wouldn't like for Eric, I wouldn't wear brightly
colored shoes.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
He's wearing his black ones with the with the mother.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
They're brown.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Oh brown, he's wearing some one. Yeah, he's wearing He'll
look good.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It's like a classy place. Just keep that in mind.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
He knows.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
But it doesn't mean you have to. Like it's not
like a dress co. Just to keep in mind.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm just hi.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Booby's out, I guess, so put your right okay.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Anyway, all right, Well next week we're gonna have plenty
of stories to tell you about our night and our
next day at the pool.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Sure you and my new daddy will have plenty of stories.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Oh my god, not unless he puts another spell on.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
He's like comfortable now.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I am very uncomfortable, dude. I can't be going there.
Oh my god, you're damn spell god, damn it.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I won't even be able to hold a glass of
ginger rail ginger. Your figures will be all gnarled from
all right, don't ask him from what I don't.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh yeah, that was a bad idea. That was a
bad idea. All right, thank you for watching, everybody, Thank
you for we love you, and we'll see you and
whole stories galore, I'm sure next week.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Love your podcast, you guys, love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I love you, my sweet babies. Bye, guys,
Love it.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark. Hello, I'm Lurcane. My
co host is Eric Rimmer. Hi, welcome to Thursday. Welcome
day before the Lafayette Adventure and producer Brians You yeah,
the short timer.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
I have a question for Eric, between me and Laura,
who do you think is wiser.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Now beyond? And you won't hurt my feelings? Think about
overall it's encompassing life, another experience wisdom.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Shoot, that's really hard because Brian at his tender age
is like a sixty year old. True, but you have
had some life experiences that have made you very wise.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I think that he has not gone through yet anything
like that.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
True, very true?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Correct you?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
I you know, I don't deny. You have much more
experience than me, which.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Has given me wisdom on certain ways that can't you
can't possibly understand having a child, losing a parent, what else,
having an addiction, going through rehab, come on.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Those are but those are experiences have shaped me ordering
door wisdom I could anyways.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Okay, so thank you for joining us. We're going to
start the show with a question and you guys have
to honestly answer this, and then we're going to go
right into I have ton. You have a big stack
of pickup lines, Brian, Eric, you have a big stack
of pickup lines. Some of yours are Halloween specific, Yes
they are. And then I have pickup lines. We're going
(01:50):
to see which ones work because we might want to
use them on Friday night when we go to the
Lafayette and start our butts off because we're all single. Okay,
so let's get ready to mingle. So this is for practice. Okay.
Now my question is, and you have to answer, and
you have to answer honestly and don't make anything up.
(02:13):
What is your flaw? What is the one thing that
you hide from everybody that you are about to divulge
to the world. What is one thing that you hide
that you're now going to out yourself about. What's the
you're like flaw?
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Okay, you go first.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, so about four nights out of seven, I sleep
on the couch instead of in my bedroom for years.
I okay, wait, there was another on top of your covers.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Wait, this is like your flaw.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
This is this is like I'm getting there. I'm digging deeper.
I don't sleep in my bed in the sheets. I
sleep on top of my comforter with a blanket over me.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
To be honest, I've been doing that for about four
months now. It's way better.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
It's so much better because you don't have to make
a bed.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I kind of agree.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Okay, so there's that. I love well. No, I love well.
You know, I love ninety day fiance. You know I
love like brain numbing shows. So there's not that. What
am I hiding? What am I hiding? Okay? I had
(03:33):
something in my brain and it just left. So now
you go, what's your flaw?
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Like?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
What thing have you? Like? Not told anybody? It'll come
to me.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
It'll come to probably that Well. Normally I don't care
like what people think about me at all, Like I
couldn't give two shits, Like if somebody does like me,
they don't like me. But sometimes when people say stuff
to me, certain things like it bothers me.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
That brings up a point. Yes, the good things. Think
about all the good things people have said about you
in comments and stuff. The things that I remember are
the mean ones. Why is that?
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Well, and it's not even that like, it's not comments
like that, it's normal. It's mainly when it comes from
somebody that you is in your inner circle, like you
really care about them or whatever, and they say horrible,
horrible things. That's where it.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Have I ever said anything horrible to you?
Speaker 1 (04:38):
Time?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
What's the most horrible thing I've ever said to you?
Is there anything that sticks with you, like something that like.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
You remember that anything horrible to me?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I've never hurt your feelings?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Have you ever heard my feelings?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
No?
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Well, with this whole friend thing, I'm getting my feelings
hurt a little bit.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
That's yours.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
I know it is that I need to be like number.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
We're going to add.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Oh, okay, I have it. I have it. I do
not when I get ready, Oh, I have always my
entire life. I sit on the floor in front of
the mirror. I don't get ready in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
Oh wait, hold on, hold on. Laura's like, give us
your fatal deep flaw and told anyone And then she
just lifts out a couple of on top of the
covers the floor to get ready.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Last week, three days out of the week, I didn't
brush my teeth at night.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That's pretty gross.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
And one day I went to work and was so
rushed I didn't brush them in the morning. I did
not make that story there was one day last week
where I didn't brush my teeth for twenty four hours.
I'm going to tell you this, right, that is the
grossest thing ever do that.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I'm going to give her a little bit of tough love.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
This was a one time I fell asleep on the couch.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You said you three nights in a row you didn't
brush your teeth because I fall asleep on the couch.
But here's the problem. What she's now single and ready
to mingle. At some point you're gonna be given BJ's
And if your teeth fall out, can you imagine if
the tooth it's just she's just gonna gum people stop it.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Well, that's probably better considering my last.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
That will definitely shoot to the top of your list
as a fatal flaw.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
No, that'll be like a plus if I am gumming.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
It, No, because I won't do the podcast anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
If you have no teeth, okay, oh my god, whatever.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
If I have to look at you and there's one
tooth out of place that.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
I know, if I don't, okay, don't worry about it now, Brian, Yes,
what is something that you hide about yourself?
Speaker 3 (06:46):
I think my fatal flaw as I am too perfect
and it throws people off. It's it's off putting to me.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I would agree this is making me.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
It's attracted to you right now. Oh my god, that's
because you're bragging your bag.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
I am bragging.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
You've got to keep it going then through Friday, because
I don't think I could take her trying to pull
your pants down.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
I'm not going to try to.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
All right, we can skip past that part or her
doing like the whin Harry met Sally thing at the diner.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
I'm not gone.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
I will say, you know, Laura brapped to me. She goes.
I think it's cockiness. And you know what, in this context,
at least on the show, Yeah, I will agree. I'm
pretty cocky here.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
So yeah, look at that now.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
I think it's a little bit of my character, my affect.
I don't think I'm actually that cocky.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
And Brian just said Brian just said the word cock
Did that?
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Do it?
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Dude?
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Eric Chillo? Hell out Jesus. Can't get to like thirty
like three seconds and he's already like he's like, I
heard a word. I'm just trying to make sure it's
not getting her all riled up because you good to
know say, I'm just trying to protect you.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
When we talked about my dick dar, which is my superpower.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
Please, for the love of God, can i'm shuting this down.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I just want to say, I'm not going into detail.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
I just want to say that my vision that came
to me like in a flood, because I can't summon it,
only listen. No, his was the most one of the
most detailed I'd ever received in like it comes to me,
so I know exactly what it looks like.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
I'm deleting all these podcasts anyway.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
And I'm sorry. I mean, I I will probably never
get to prove it.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Just her vision was just like it was. You were
carrying a fire hydrant in front of you, so pretty much.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Okay, anyway, so what is your fatal flaw? Did?
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Wow? I know what your fatal fly is you. I'm here,
all right.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
So I'm going to go first with a couple of
my pickup lines, and you see if any of these
work on you, because girls can do pickup lines too. Sure,
all right, I'm just I'm just coming up to you
at a bar. Okay, Okay, you can delete the app
now I'm here.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
It's softly cocky.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Okay, Ryan, get me out of here.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah. See, I'd be like, that's kind of all right.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Oh? My god, terrible?
Speaker 1 (09:11):
This is this is how Laura is with dad jokes.
This is how I am with pick up.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Yeah, there must be something wrong with my eyes. I
can't seem to take them off of you. Oh these
are really bad. So okay, so these aren't working.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Here's the thing. Even it's like the most like beautiful
woman the world approached me with these, I'd be.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Like, oh, if it's clever and funny, then maybe, but
let me get it. I'm getting there. Your lips look lonely?
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Gross?
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Would you like them to meet mine?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
Terrible?
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Gross?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I'm not currently an organ donor, but I'd love to
give you my heart.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
If you let me borrow a kiss, I promised to
give it right back.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Oh at this point I would just blow my brains
out of Okay, you.
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Can't because you can't lead off with like a like
wanting to give some one a kiss and you've just
met them.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Okay, if I'm flirty and if I'm like on, if
I'm like trying to like get it.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
The other ones are at least like they smooth, they're starting
now small. This one's like just straight up, like, let
me kiss you.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
Okay, Eric, you go with some of yours. Oh you're
touching me?
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming
off at midnight? Okay, baby, you make my palm, sweaty knees,
weak arms, spaghetti.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Oh god, oh my.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
God, that's so bad.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's horrific.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
I'm not even going to read some of these because
they're so stupid.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you,
everyone else disappears.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Oh that's kind of sweet. That's a little sweet.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
That is like, that's like the very borderline of what
might work of it's so cheesy. It's okay, but like
that is barely cut.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Your ass is so nice that it's a shame that
you have to sit on it.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Oh I like that.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
Oh my god, maybe that works.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
That kind of works a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Your daddy must be a drug dealer because you're dope.
Speaker 3 (11:14):
Oh no, no, double and words are terrible.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You must be jelly because jam don't shake like that.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Oh terrible?
Speaker 1 (11:25):
Okay, Oh my god, they're making you sad. Are you
a charger because I'm dying without you? Oh God, my
bad god? Uh is there an airport nearby? Is that
my heart taking off? Jesus?
Speaker 3 (11:43):
This is that's cross?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Is your name Jimmy? Because I've fallen for you?
Speaker 3 (11:48):
So that's not good?
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Come on, just roll some out brainstorming here, come on,
let's let's go.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Did you invent the airplane? Because clearly, because you're clearly
mister right. Oh, i'd have to say that to Brian.
Oh is your dad a boxer? Because you're a knockout?
Speaker 3 (12:09):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
How can I plan our wedding without having your number?
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Yeah, my god, that's really presumptuous.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Are you a keyboard? Because you just might be my type? Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Terrible?
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Okay, okay, now we're at a Halloween party.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
Okay, now we're at halloween party. Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Hey, hey, your costume looks complicated. Do you need help
taking it off? That's actually okay, that's like kind of bold,
but like it's it's bold. It's bold. That one's actually
all right? Okay, Okay, why are you dressed as a baker?
It's Is it the only costume that could handle your buns? No?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
No, well, I was going to be as a ghost tonight,
but I wanted to show you my sheets later.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh my god, all right, that's kind of okay, it's
kind of okay.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
I don't know what the trick is, but you've got
to be the treat. No, I can't find a costume,
So can I go with your boyfriend? Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Kind of cute, a little tiny bit, but that could
creep me out.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
I totally carve your pumpkin. That just sounds like a
serial killing.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
That's gross.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Yes, there's no.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
I don't understand this girl. Are you a pokemon? Because
I would choose you. I don't get that.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
I don't I would. I wouldn't punch someone in the
face if they said that.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Okay, okay, Brian, see if you can see if you
got any good ones.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Here's an example of a really bad one on my sheet.
I'd like you to I'd like to take you to
the movies, but they don't let you bring in your
own snacks.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Oh god god.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Oh, I'm not even playing cards, but somehow I've pulled
a queen.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Oh that's sweet. I like that. That's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Are you too insane?
Speaker 2 (14:03):
No?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
That one like that?
Speaker 2 (14:04):
One's not that bad.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, that one I don't want either. You are not
using that at the hotel. I'm not using a pickup
I period. Well here I am. What are your other
two wishes?
Speaker 2 (14:17):
Oh my god, I like it.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I like it.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
That's a classic. I have a phone number, You have
a phone number. Think of all the possibilities now by
Oh I hate this one. I've got all these forks
and knives, and all I need is a little spoon.
Oh my god, that's kind of funny. Yeah. Oh, here's going.
(14:47):
Your hand looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?
Oh god, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
That is terrible.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Oh god, here's a bad one. You just come out
of an oven because you're too hot to hand. Oh jeez, No,
I think we've met before. Actually, never mind, I think
it was just in my dreams.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
Oh that is I just threw up in my mouth.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I just wet myself. I bet my number sounds nicer
than yours. Want to hear it? Oh okay, I.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Like that clever.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
Yeah, trust me, I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by you.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
Oh. I kind of like that. That's kind of nice.
Speaker 3 (15:27):
I could see that working. I don't know if I
think if it's a good one. Though. Do you have
a mirror? Because I can see us together? God, that's it?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Okay? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight nine.
The only number I don't see here is yours? Oh
do you have Instagram? My parents always told me to
follow my dreams.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
I don't forget that.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Are you an artist? Because you're really good at drawing
me in? Angels should be in? How'd you escape? These
are terrific? Oh my god, well here I am. Oh
that you'd say? What are your other two wishes?
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
What is it like to be the most gorgeous person
in this room? Would that work?
Speaker 1 (16:16):
No? Okay, because I'd just call you a liar.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Oh my god, Oh that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
You must be a talented thief because you managed to
steal my heart all the way over here.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
I really think this one's awful. If you and I
were socks, we'd make a great pad. Okay, let's stupid.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Okay, you're looking a little sick. You must be suffering
from lack of vitamin me. Oh, oh my god, are
you a wi Fi router? Because I'm feeling a connection.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Excellent?
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you have a band aid? I scraped my knees
falling from my god.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Like the same three jokes over and over again.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
If you were a Transformer, you'd be optimist. Fine. Oh no,
let's play a game, not hide and seek, though people
like you are hard to find. Oh Jesus, do you
like Star Wars? Because Yoda one for me. Oh, it's
(17:30):
a good thing. I have my library card because I'm
totally checking you out.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
I would have you removed from the bar.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
If being beautiful was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
I'd order an angel shot.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So it's stupid.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
My mom told me not to talk to strangers online,
but I'll make an exception for you. It's not it's
like that. I don't Did you go to school at Hogwarts?
Because I'm feeling the magic? Oh my god, Okay, Harry
Potter reference at all is a red flag. Oh I'm
really glad. I just bought life insurance because when I
(18:06):
saw you, my heart stopped.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
It was done, Laura, I can't handle yours anymore.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute cumber.
I'm sorry. They're terrible. I know, I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Okay, I don't read a couple more.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Okay, wait, we did like a.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Couple a couple. I have a half page left. Okay,
all right, fine, I'm not reading all of them. Are
you tired? You've been running through my mind all day?
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Oh that's the old one. That one's an old, boring one.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
What's your favorite drink? I'm asking so I know what
to buy you when we go out in our first date.
I can see that one actually working. But it's not
like a joke.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
It's a little dry.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
I don't know. My delivery is not the most.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
No, it's not. Come on, come on, sell it, sell it,
sell it, sell it sound.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
I'm learning about important dates in history. I want to
be one of them.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Yoah see I like that.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
They say dating is a numbers game. So can I
get yours?
Speaker 2 (19:01):
Oh okay, that's on the line.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Nope.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
When I text you good morning tomorrow, what number should
I text? That's that's cute, kind of works a little
bit of a version. There, Hi, my name is blank,
but you can call me tomorrow. Oh oh, there's something
wrong with my phone that doesn't have your number in it. Oh,
that's like what the greaser from like a sixties movie.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
There's something wrong with my phone. It doesn't have your
numb my number, your number in it. Yeah, it's like
the fawns.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Would say that fIF ten or something.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
Oh my god, you don't you have any more? I'll
be done. Okay. So none of those, well a couple
of those worked. Now you would never use a pickup
line at a bar? No, okay? All right. Then here's
my last question before we end this, because I have
oh wait, oh Eric, But let me just ask you something.
(19:58):
You see a woman at.
Speaker 3 (20:03):
I'm afraid of woman, I'm leaving.
Speaker 2 (20:06):
You see a woman that is like that is attractive
to you, and you're like a little bit buzzed, and
you're like, I think I'm gonna Are you gonna go
for it? I will? Would you go up to her?
And what would you say? For a spoon?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Hi?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (20:23):
That's it?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Hi? How okay? Come on, Brian, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:27):
Hi. It's so dependent on context. There's no one size
fits all.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Like you're walking up she's at the bar, at the
round bar, and you're walking up to get a drink.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Anyone actually does that?
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Whatever?
Speaker 3 (20:38):
Theoretically, yes, if I was just forced to by unseen forces,
just walk up to random check who's probably deep in
conversation with her friends.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
No, she's not, she's alone.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Oh that I don't want to talk to her. That's depressing.
She went to herself by a bar and she's drinking.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
You don't know that her friend might be in the bathroom.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Okay, fine, I walk up and I say, can't buy
your drink because that's really what chicks go to bars
for us, drink.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
You know what you're that's probably a good opening line.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
If I don't leave with that, her opening line will
be you buy me a.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Drink, or that's what she's thinking in her head. Yes
for sure. Okay. So Eric is notorious for his customer
service calls. In fact, he was so mad at one
furniture company that we're not going to scream out, oh
my god, that he ended up because it took him
so long to get his couch he ordered.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
Almost a year that.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
He got it for free, almost almost and it's a
beautiful couch, but like he raised health or a custom
couch he did all I mean, like they did him
dirty and say.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
Yeah, it was a sectional and they only delivered like
half of it. And then they were like you okay
with that, And I'm like, let me see.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
At and T has gotten the brunt. A car dealership
has gotten the brunt.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Amazon?
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Is this what you're going to talk about? Amazon? Got
it too?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Oh yeah, I've been on a roll this week.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Well, okay, go for it.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Let's hear it, let's see Okay, all right, So do
you guys know the you know, like Factor and Harvest
and all that, but these So about a year ago,
a friend of mine had given me one of these
little things to try. I had tried Factor and it
was all right, but it's so expensive that's like I
(22:20):
could just and the portions are so small that you're like,
I could just make this at home, Like this is.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
It's all seemed Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
It's a couple, you know, one hundred dollars a month. Okay,
you know, maybe four hundred dollars a month when you
total it out, depending on how many meals you get.
So I had tried this one called cook Unity and
about a year ago, and I got like eight meals
for fifty bucks or whatever.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
It was like a promo type of thing.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah, it was a promo. It was okay. They I
was like, you know, same thing small portions. I was like,
all right, whatever, So I canceled it after the promo,
never visited the website again, never got on it, canceled everything.
So last week on Wednesday, I get I wake up,
(23:14):
I'm getting ready for works bing. I get a text message,
your community order is being delivered shortly. Oh oh, and
I'm like, I didn't order it, so it said you
can track it here. So I was because of so
many scams, I was like, I'm not now. So the
first thing I did was check my bank account. Cook
(23:34):
Unity had debited almost two hundred dollars out of my account,
and I was like, wait what, Oh, Eric's So I
was like, first of all, I don't know how they
got it because I had canceled everything and I've switched
credit cards in the meantime.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
That's freaky.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So I got online and looked. I didn't even have
my passwordain or like I had to go on create
a new password, go in and look, and it said
there was an order on its way. All of a sudden,
ban your orders delivered. I open my front door. It
is a hugemongous box, like the size of this chair.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
What for one person?
Speaker 1 (24:19):
For one person? There were twelve or fourteen meals in
there that you had to eat by the seventh of October.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
And I'm like and it was nothing that I would eat.
So it was like shrimp and beef and like nothing
I would ever eat. I don't eat any of that stuff.
So I email them, I get on, I go to
get a customer service number. You can only do it
by chat, I hate, so yeah, So in a chat box, right,
(24:49):
So I'm like hey, and I responded to the text.
I was like, I didn't order any food, don't deliver this.
As soon as I found out that they ordered that
they had debited my camp then I did anyway. So
the person says, we'll have to get back to you
in twenty four hours. So I'm like great. So in
(25:10):
the meantime, I call my bank, I have them reverse
the charge. I email them again and I'm like, I'm
not waiting, just refund my card, Like I didn't authorize this,
I never got on and placed in order. So the
very next morning I get another chat and a response
(25:31):
and it says, you put in a promo code and
ordered two weeks worth of food and we're not refunding
your money. Uh. Oh it's on, and so I was like,
game on.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
He lives this.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
So I said, I said, you are refunding my money.
And I said, here is the name and number of
my attorney. He will be calling you, or you can
call him. I don't give a shit. However, you want
to figure this out, sir? You placed this order on
the twenty second, and then you you canceled your account yesterday,
(26:11):
And I said no, I had to get into my
old account to figure out.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
I'll still a chat, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
To figure out how an order was placed. Well, and
then they said they literally said to me, well, someone
logged on and then nothing happened. So we just selected
food for you. Oh boy, bam, that's all I needed
right there. So I was like, I said, fine, don't
call my attorney. I said, I do a podcast.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
Oh god, here.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
I said, I said, I will be talking about this.
You can tune in and watch with fifteen minutes. Bam,
it was all refunded.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Really it worked.
Speaker 1 (26:59):
That worked.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Now, let's not make a habit of this. No, well,
that makes us look real bad.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I'm a little bit. I don't want to ask about Amazon, don't.
I don't. I don't want to ask about Amazon.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
Great show.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
You know you can ask about Ammaz No.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
I want to know first of all, real quick. Tomorrow night,
Lafayette Night. You guys come hang out with this if
you want to. It's a really cool place, super fun.
We're celebrating Brian leaving and then Marie is turning thirty,
my roommate, and it's going to be a big fun
event and we're going to have a blast. So anyway,
thoughts about attire. You said it's more dressy, like just
(27:35):
be classy, but not like something like this. They'd probably
be fine, but you said no flowers.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I just wouldn't like for Eric, I wouldn't wear brightly
colored shoes.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
I'm not.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
He's wearing his black ones with the with the mother.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
They're brown.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Oh brown, he's wearing some one. Yeah, he's wearing He'll
look good.
Speaker 3 (27:55):
It's like a classy place. Just keep that in mind.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
He knows.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
But it doesn't mean you have to. Like it's not
like a dress co. Just to keep in mind.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I'm just hi.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Booby's out, I guess, so put your right okay.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Anyway, all right, Well next week we're gonna have plenty
of stories to tell you about our night and our
next day at the pool.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Sure you and my new daddy will have plenty of stories.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Oh my god, not unless he puts another spell on.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
He's like comfortable now.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I am very uncomfortable, dude. I can't be going there.
Oh my god, you're damn spell god, damn it.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
I won't even be able to hold a glass of
ginger rail ginger. Your figures will be all gnarled from
all right, don't ask him from what I don't.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Oh yeah, that was a bad idea. That was a
bad idea. All right, thank you for watching, everybody, Thank
you for we love you, and we'll see you and
whole stories galore, I'm sure next week.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Love your podcast, you guys, love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (29:04):
I love you, my sweet babies. Bye, guys,
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