November 26, 2025 • 50 mins
Grab a tissue—Erik opens up in one of his most touching moments yet, reading something about his mom that he’s never shared with anyone before. It’s raw, beautiful, and guaranteed to hit you right in the heart. Then Laura, Erik, and Producer Claire switch gears into gratitude mode, sharing what they’re each thankful for as we head into turkey day. It’s emotional, honest, and full of those cozy holiday vibes.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Love your podcast!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello, and welcome to Laura Kane. After dark on this
wonderful Thanksgiving twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh my god, Happy.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Thanks Happy Turkey Day, thanks Giving, Claire Hay.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thanksgiving, Claire, Hi, thanks for being with us on this day.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I hope that all y'all are going to be with
people that.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
You love and be with y'all tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I know you are tomorrow, but yes, today we have
We're going to each read or tell you what we're
grateful for, because this is what this day is. It's
all about being thankful for. Just I want to know
what you're thankful for. I want to know what you're
thankful for, Claire, and I'll tell you what I'm thankful for.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
But we use this day.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
To talk about for Eric to talk about.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
His mom, his wonderful mom who.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Was his best friend really truly and died too soon.
And you've told the story about your mom before, but
there was there were a few elements that you couldn't
disclose because of certain circumstances.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
But you have more freedom now, and I think.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You have a special message for people who may have
lost somebody or find themselves in a situation like yourself.
So I turn it over to you, my BFF, my wonderful, kind, compassionate,
soulmate funny. I love you so much, friends, I love.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You so much. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
I The reason that I always, well not always, but
that I talk about her is she died on December first,
so it was right after Thanksgiving and right before Christmas.
So it makes the holidays a nightmare for me when
that's normally when families get together. And so my dad
(01:58):
died years ago, fifteen years ago, and so it was
just my mom. She never remarried, and we did everything together.
We went to concerts, we went to dinners. My mom
was a blast and we had the best time. She
was always up for anything. And about ten years prior
(02:23):
to her passing, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's and so
I took her to aller of her appointments, handled everything
that she needed to get handled.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And then.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
A couple of years ago, i'd say it was about
seven years ago, she started acting strange. I would always
take her to the grocery store. That was the big
She loved going to the grocery store with me, and
I would play pranks on her, put like magnum sized
(03:01):
condoms in her shopping cart with like an egg plant,
and I would embarrass her so badly, and I love
playing jokes on her and everything, and all of a sudden,
she didn't want to go anymore. And I traveled a
lot with my job, and so I started making her
meals and she wasn't eating and complaining about her vision
(03:25):
and everything. So we went and had MRIs done, cat
scans done and nothing. So my brother called me one
night and I had to eventually get him involved because
she was forgetting doctor's appointments and I would be out
of town or i'd be just going into a meeting
(03:47):
and I'd be like, mom, when did you make this appointment?
And she's like, well, I told you. I said, no,
you never. I didn't know anything about this appointment. So
I was getting really nervous. I asked her to come
and live with me, and I lived downtown, and she
didn't want to live down there. She wanted to stay
in her house, so she didn't want to live with anybody,
(04:07):
and she was super independent. And so my brother called
me one night and said, well, we're doing a basically,
we're packing her a bag and she's coming to live
with us. And I said, have you met her like
she's she is not going to like it. So my
(04:28):
mom gets on the phone. I go over there and
I'm like, look, if it doesn't work, I will come
and get you and we'll figure it out. I'll either
move in here with you, you know, we'll figure something out.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So at this point, what did you think was going on,
like the dementia maybe, or we didn't.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
We didn't know every every every MRI and cat scan
had come back normal. The last one that I took
her to, he said, we see a little bit of
a of a shadow on her brain, but it's nothing
to be concerned about it. It's not cancer, it's not anything.
And I'm like, okay, if you're telling us not to worry,
(05:09):
we're not going to worry. So she goes to live
with my brother. And my biggest concern with living there
was he had a big family, and I was afraid
(05:30):
that you know, they're not doctors, so if she was
to fall, that was going to create a.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He had little kids, and there's a lot of activity, a.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Lot of activity, animals, stuff like that, and so I
in the meantime started looking for care facilities. I never
wanted to put my mom in one, but I was like,
she can't be on her own in that big house,
rambling around with all these steps and stuff like that.
I it was just going to be a disaster. So
(06:01):
I found one that had a great reputation. Even people
that I knew in the industry were like, if you
can get her in there, get her in there. So
they had one room that was available, and just then
my mom fell at their house and I'm surprisingly. They
(06:21):
were like, well, we can't take care of her anymore,
and I said, okay, well then we're going to put
her in here. So shortly this was we put her
in the day after Thanksgiving, and about oh gosh, four
weeks later, I'm at work and I get a phone
call saying she's in the emergency room, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So I go to the hospital and I am told
that my mom has the leo blastoma, which is the
highest grade of cancer you can have. It affects only
your brain. It doesn't start anywhere else. It starts in
your brain. This particular cancer forms its own blood supply,
(07:11):
so it gets into your brain and it's almost impossible
to treat it because it's all soft tissue, so it
goes everywhere and so that's why all these things with
her vision. And I noticed, like one day she was fine,
(07:32):
the next day her left arm was like gnarled up
like a tree trunk, and her left eye was drooping.
Everything was happening on the left and I was like,
I don't know what what's happening. So all of a sudden,
she's in the hospital and we're told this.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So did they give you any hope.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
No, they said she was eighty at the time, and
they and she was extremely frail. And the surgeon, who
was incredible and his team met with us and they said, look,
we can do the surgery on her, but because of
(08:12):
her age and how frail she is, there's two things
that could happen. She either won't make it out of
the surgery or we can let it ride. And I said, well,
she has a surgery. How long does she have and
he said eleven months? And I said, well, and if
she doesn't do the surgery, what is it And he
said couple weeks? And I was like, oh my god.
(08:35):
And so we met with my mom and we said,
what what do you want to do and she said, well,
if it'll give me more time with you guys than
the grandkids, I'll do the surgery. So she comes out
of it like a rock star. And her surgery was
on January seventh, of my birthdays on January eighth, So
(08:56):
this is where things get crazy. As we're leaving the
hospital the day of her surgery, my brother informs me, Hey,
what are you doing tomorrow? And I said, well, I'm
going to be here, and he said, well, we're leaving.
And I said, what do you mean you're leaving? Like
(09:18):
where are you going? He said, well, we're going to
go up you know, up North for a couple of days.
You know, we just need to decompress and everything. And
I'm like, now after her surgery. Yeah, I was like
right now, in the middle of all this mess where
she's not even out of the woods. And I said, okay, well,
you know what, it's your life.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Do what you need to do. I'm going to be here.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
So that morning on my birthday, we had a conversation
and he said, look, just call us when you get
home from the hospital and I said okay. And so
I in with all this going on, I had forgot
to charge my phone. So I literally get to the
(10:00):
hospital and I forgot the charger. My phone is like
at ten percent, So I was like, I'm just going
to leave it off, and it's I'm not super public
with like my private life. So I had gone on
social media and just said, hey, she went through the surgery.
I think you might have remembered that. And I was like,
(10:23):
you know, I thank the team and everything. She came
out of it great. And I didn't really elaborate on
a lot of things, and I was with her all
day and around seven pm I decided to go get
something to eat and I turned my phone on, and
I think between text messages and voicemails and emails, there
(10:47):
was something like three hundred and something. I was like,
I'm never going to get through all these. So as
I was leaving from who from friends, friends of my mom's, Yeah,
people just checking, you know, to see how she was,
and people wishing me a happy birthday and all this stuff.
(11:10):
So I noticed that my brother and his wife had
both called me back to back. So I was like,
oh my god, in forty five minutes, something couldn't have happened.
So I called my sister in law back and we
got into a huge fight over the dumbest thing.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
That happens when that does happen when families are going
through hard times.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, it was.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
It was insane. It wasn't about my mom. It was
about a smoke detector in her house that was beeping.
And I'm like, okay, So it winds up. I get
hung up on I'm like, I don't have time to
deal with this, so I go back. The next day,
I have a conversation with my brother. He calls me
and he says, well, I'm going to stand behind her,
(12:01):
you know, you're just this that the other. And I'm like,
wait a minute, I'm not the one that left, you know.
The day after she had brain surgery. So it just
and we had always gotten along our I was very blessed.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
You hear people that have just horrible family lives. There's
alcoholism or violence or whatever. We never had any of that.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I'm just you, your dad, your mom, and your brother.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
My brother and my parents were married until my dad died,
you know, so.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
You had a great relationship with everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
I had a great relationship with my family. So this
was very hard for me to navigate, and it just
kept getting worse and worse, to the point where I
just needed to protect my mom and make sure that
she didn't know what was going on behind the scenes.
I didn't want her to know. I figured it was
all going to work itself out, and it just snowballed
and snowballed and snowballed. So it was me being left
(12:59):
out of appointments, cancer treatment, appointments that my mom had,
not being able to see the kids, not being able
to like, just stuff that I was left out of
that I as her son and I was her firstborn,
should have been included in, like going to the hospital
and finding that my name was raised off of the
(13:19):
call sheet. So it was just ongoing and just when
you think something worse couldn't happen, it did.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And so.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
It got to be that after we put her in,
right before she was diagnosed, it was Christmas time, and
all my mom wanted to do. She was super depressed,
and she wanted to go home and have Christmas there
because we always had Christmas at our house. And I said, well, Mom,
you know, I don't think that's possible, and you know,
(13:57):
she was like, well then I don't want to have
Christmas at all. So I went to the people that
ran the place and I said, look, can I just
take her for just a couple hours, and they said,
absolutely not, she's too sick. We don't know what's going
on with her. And I just said please, you know,
(14:21):
I said, I knew it was going to be the
last Christmas we were ever going to have with her.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And I said, just let me take her, and.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I'll take any responsibility for anything. I said, please, And
so they let me do it. And so I in
one day decorated the entire got a tree, decorated it,
put all the lights up, got food, managed to keep
(14:52):
her from knowing it. And it's something that I look
back on and I'll never forget it because it was
the last time I ever really saw her smile, because
then it was just downhill after that. Then came the
cancer diagnosis and everything. So literally just a couple days
later is when she wound up in the hospital and
(15:14):
got that cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
And so.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I never regretted for one second doing it. And then
on December first, she passed. And that's when you see
your life change in a completely different way. Like I
was always, I said yes to everything. If somebody needed
(15:40):
help doing something, I said yes. I I spread myself
really thin, and those last hours with my mom, were
some of this, you know, the sweetest.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I remember, it was very It was also very hard, yeah,
to see her.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Well, she was in horrible, horrible pain, and my brother
and his partner had requested that she not be given
any morphine.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Why was that why?
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I to this day don't know because they wouldn't talk
to me. So I had to beg them and they said, well,
you know you're not on the you're not authorized to.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Do anything.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And I said, how am I not authorized? I'm her son, Like,
I'm here every single night, I've never left her side,
and and they said, well, your name was taken off.
You can't make any decisions like that. And I'm like,
I I said, if I have to get an attorney
(16:59):
at at midnight, don't underestimate me, I'll do it. And
they wound up letting me do it. So they gave
her morphine and thank god, I mean she she died
just a couple of days later.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
But were you with her? I was her last breath.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah, So I was there for my dad and that
was my one thing growing up. And my mom was like,
you're weird because I was like, who's my main fear
throughout my entire life? Was that they would die and
I wouldn't be there.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
What is it? What is it like?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
When I mean, did she did she look up at
the sky, did she like point at anything, did she
say anything?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Did she.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Know?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
What?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
What is that like to see somebody take their last breath?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Especially your mother?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Well, it was prior to her passing. I had walked
in one night and she was extremely religious and she
didn't know I was there, and she was crying and
she was like, why did you forsake me?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Why?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Like growing up, we never had a microwave. She never
talked on a cell phone. She had one, never talked
on it because her biggest fear was getting brain cancer,
and ironically that's what took her. And she just was
breathing and then she wasn't and the assistant that was
(18:37):
there said they were just about ready to do a
shift change, and she said, oh, that's it. And I
said that she's gone. And I was sitting there holding
her hand and it was like I never felt her
get cold. And she said, yeah, honey, she's gone. And
I said, oh my god. And so she said, I'm
(18:58):
going to let the gentleman that's coming in it no,
and he came in and he goes, Okay, so this
is what we're gonna do. And he goes, I'm just
gonna check her one more time and he said, oh, nope,
she's still here. And I said, wait what and he
said yeah, this happens from time to time. And I'm like, well,
how long does this go on for? And he goes, oh,
(19:20):
some people it goes on for like a month. And
I'm all, oh, my god.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Did they go in and out of death.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yeah, And so he said, well, we'll give her, We'll
give her a little bit longer. So it went the
whole night where she was alive, and then at about
noon the next day, he said, no, that's it. And
you can tell, like they they just get a look,
(19:50):
just like a completely distant look, and they kind of
stop responding, and you know. And so it was just
her and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I and.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
So your brother wasn't there when she took her love.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
He was there when she took her last breath. He
came in, but then he left and so I said, well,
I'm going to stay. And even with all the drama
going on behind the scenes, you know, I said, I
think we should clean out her little apartment together. I
(20:26):
think it's something that would be cathartic. And so you're.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Out stretching an olive Branch's somebody who's.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Right that, for some reason just doesn't want anything to
do with me anymore. And I said, let me know
a time and I'll make sure that i'm here. And
the next morning, at seven am, I got a phone
call saying, we cleaned it out. Let us know if
there's anything you want and otherwise we're going to toss it.
(20:55):
And it was right then and there that I recently
had someone say to me. I didn't think people could
get lower than anything, but I had an acquaintance say
to me, I hope you die of cancer just like
your mom did. And I said.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
So.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
It really shook me in a way that nothing anybody's ever.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Losing your mom.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Is the most monumental thing. Yeah, that can happen to
a person. Well.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
And you know, for a while I was on my
soapbox where I was like, look, if you've got family
members that you're not close to and you're not talking
to them, or you know, you've lost a parent, but
the other parents, whatever the case may be. I was
very adamant about make amends, make peace, make this, make
(21:55):
that sometimes you just can't. And to years ago, I
got my mom's only sister, my aunt, who I adored,
passed away eleven months after my mom did, and she
was the only lifeline that I still had to my mom.
And then two years ago I got news that my
(22:19):
brother had stage four pancreatic cancer and he passed just
months later. And while I tried to make amends in
that situation, it still didn't work out very well. So
I was literally just an orphan at no family, years old,
no family, no family at all.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
So you're alone, but you're not alone, right.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
So I I had written for my mom's funeral. I
had I had written something, and I wanted and this
is going to sound so diabolical and horrible, but when
when And it was like her birthday or Valentine's Day
(23:02):
or Christmas or whatever. I would write the sappiest cards
because and I would time how long it was going
to take her to lose her shit and start crying,
because she was so sentimental and kept all the cards
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But I had written for her funeral.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I had written, I remember being there and it was oh, yeah,
it was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
You were there and I at the last minute the
day of the funeral, I decided that I wasn't going
to read what I wrote because it's far too personal
and I didn't think I could get through it. But
it because of what you asked me it. It'll tell,
(23:51):
I think, a story to people that are losing someone
or have lost someone and are kind of having a
hard time navigating through it. And it's brief, but I'll
read it because I now I have very few regrets
in my life. I do regret not reading this at
(24:14):
her celebration of life.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
What were you afraid of?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well, even at the funeral, there was so much. There
was still draw drama going on that I knew I
wasn't going to be able to get through it. And
so and I thought, knowing what was going on, it
was going to be some sort of a who it
was going to be a mountless.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Bad that you felt like you were going to be
so judged at your mother's funeral that you for sure,
I'm glad that you get to read it.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
So I've never read it before now, so I dug
this out, so I'm just going to read it. So
it says since my mom's death, I've been walking around
in a con tradictory haze of pain and numbness, both
of which like to take turns overpowering me. It's like
being punched in the face by grief one second and
(25:08):
hug by gratitude the next. I had to continue to
do things, work, shop, go to the gym, socialize, partly
because these things still needed to get done, and partly
because if I didn't do them, I was afraid that
I would lose it completely. I wanted to wear a
sign that read I just lost my mom, Please go
easy on me, and I did my very best to
(25:28):
hide what was going on inside of me. During this time,
I began to realize that I needed to remind myself
just how hard the story is around me and everyone
else are going are, and to approach each person as
a delicate, breakable treasure, and to go easy on them
as well. With the passing of my father and now
my mother, I think differently, I sense time differently, and
(25:49):
I look at the future differently as well. Ever, since
my mom's death, I have felt more human, and I
have found myself unable to control my emotions, are staying
engaged or focus. For the first time, maybe ever, I
have had to admit that I need saving. On that
(26:17):
December morning, just before noon, I remember her face in
that very moment, lying there in bed as she quietly
passed from this life into what is beyond, no fanfare drama.
(26:42):
She just breathed in and then she didn't, just quiet,
just peace. In the width of one breath, everything changed
for me. One breath here, the next breath here after.
That's what makes up life and death. The moments that
(27:05):
I spent with my mom were precious. There were many
of them. The stories, the conversations, the meals, all the trips,
the funny moments here and there, the things she would
say and the jokes we would play on each other,
the concerts and movies and plays that we would attend,
all the times we would sit in her living room
and just talk. But I no longer had access to them.
(27:27):
That's what people never tell you about, the real life
giving stuff. You lose when someone love dies. You lose
the part of them, You lose the part of you
that only they knew. You lose some of your story.
It simply dies. My mom was the only one there
with me during some of those really special times. Now
(27:49):
that she's gone, there's no one to go to to
help me relive or revisit or remember them when I
want to. There's no one to help fill in the
gaps of my memories, no one to give me the
little pieces of my life that belonged to only the
two of us. One of the great things about my
(28:13):
mom and having people who love you and who've been
alongside of you for a long time is how they
could surprise you, how when you were with them they
can dig out a story or unveil something about you
that you had totally forgotten about or had never remembered
at all. My mom would do that all the time,
(28:35):
just tossing off a random memory that allowed me to
see myself through her eyes. It was like having a
small lost part of you suddenly and unexpectedly returned to you.
As much as I missed my mom, I miss the
me that she knew too. That's where you grieve the
(29:06):
loss of your shared story. The part of those days
that exists outside of my memory is now dead and buried.
The reality hits me of how much of me is
gone too. I grieve the loss of myself as well,
(29:26):
even though I'm still alive, and I hate that just
as sure as she isn't coming back. Neither are the
parts of my story because she was their coat owner. Well,
those experiences formed me and the rest of the deep
in the well, those experiences formed me and rest in
(29:50):
the deep confines of my heart in ways that will
certainly transcend my memories. The painful gaps will still be
there in what I lose without her eyes witness testimony.
There is a reality that hits me little by little
as I grieved brutal truths that I'd probably probably known
a lot longer, but that I couldn't wrap my brain
(30:12):
around long enough to claim as my own. Maybe it
was my brain's way of protecting itself and me from
taking too much sadness or grieve at once. I feel
like my life won't get any better. That's not to
say I won't feel better, or the sadness won't pull
away a little, or that there won't be some really
(30:33):
great moments, because there will. There will be many. I hope.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I know that I will continue to laugh anat wonderful
food and be moved by music and film and art.
I'll travel, and I'll create, and I'll spend quality time
with those I love on a door. I'll feel moments
of love and great content. I know these life giving
moments will come, but my life simply will never be
as good as when my mom was in this world.
(30:59):
It will never be better than it was before she left.
No matter who or what I add to my journey,
or what victory or success my life brings, they will
never replace the parts that's gone, the part that shape
like her. When you lose someone close to you learn
to make peace with the attrition, with the cruel subtraction
(31:25):
that death delivers. You realize that there was a time
now in the past when your family was whole, and
no matter what the future brings, it will always remain
less than. But you adapt, you cope, and you deal
with it. You do the daily tasks that you need
to do, and everything that you did before now it's
(31:47):
just a reaction to damage. This won't be the last
time I grieve for someone I love. When that day
comes does come, I'll look back and remember those days
and the times that I was a little bit closer
to whole. Part of you does die when someone you
love passes away, and the unique part of you that
they have taken with them both rest in peace. That was.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
So beautifully written, Eric, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
That was.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
So beautiful. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I feel like that is something that should be published somewhere,
just because of the way the way you chose your
words and the way you express yourself. I don't think
you've ever seen in this.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Exposed.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
And I love you for reading that, and I love
you more than I did five minutes ago. And uh,
I know how hard it's been for you, but I
know that you also because you've had such a strong
(33:04):
mom and you have such good memories and you're you
are such a good person because of her, You've chosen
a family that you can call your family for friends.
You've made it a point to be there for people
(33:25):
who may not be your blood relative, but are your
family exactly.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
And your choices are admirable.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
And I'm in awe of you for the way that
you've carried on so valiantly and with such grace.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So thank you for reading.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That, of course, of course, and you know, and it
just it's just for people that are out there that
you know, as your parents get older or like you know,
you're so lucky.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know that's what you and that is not lost
on me. That is not lost.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
And That's why I tell people, like, if you get
the chance to spend time with your parents, like do it,
you know the time, because once once it's gone, there's
no reading and.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
There's nothing like losing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Like I lost my father and he was my best
friend when he was only sixty. I was thirty years old.
And uh, but losing your mother as a whole, that
is h that shifts you.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
It totally does.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
It changes your mother.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
In some ways, it changed me for the better, definitely,
and then in some ways it made me a little
bit a little harder.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You you did become a little bit more. But you've
you've you've overcome that. Yeah, I was for you were angry.
You were because that's part of grief. That's part of grief,
the sadness and then the anger. Yeah, and you had,
you definitely had that. You've you've you've dealt with it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
But you have.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
And you know, when you're when you're somebody's everything and
in the blink of an eye, you're nothing, It's it's
a very difficult pill to swallow, you know. And like
in my situation, I mean, I hope nobody ever goes
through that, but I lost every It seemed like I
(35:46):
just lost everybody all at one time, even the ones
that were still alive.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah, you know, I mean yeah, it's just that whole thing.
I mean it was.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
That's just plain sad.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah. But you have us, yes, of course.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Our podcast family. You have your great friends, you have
all your.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Girls, all my all my angels.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
All your angels, and I won't like, I won't make
you put them in order right now, okay, I'll I know, Okay, okay,
I will accept that for now.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I would like to read what I'm thankful for, if
that's okay.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Of course, I absolutely loved hearing what you weren't able
to read. I'm glad that you were able to read
it finally a few years later.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah, thank you, very very cut hard, thank you, thank
you for allowing me to do that.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
This year, I'm filled with gratitude. My mom turns eighty
five next month, and she's still my rock. She's healthy,
her mind is strong, and I soak up every minute
I get to spend with her. The fact that I
still have my mom is so beautiful and my luck.
She's my everything, and it's not lost on me. I'm
(37:12):
so blessed to have a roof over my head. I
often think that just the small things. When I'm laying
in bed, I'm like, thank God, I'm not on a
blanket on a sidewalk. I have a roof over my head.
I have two wonderful people I share my life with,
Javier and Marie.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I thought you were going to say clar and me.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Ah, Well, no, in my home who I love very much,
and we're like a family. My kids are the most
monumental gift God has bestowed upon me. I couldn't ask
for two more compassionate, kind, smart, loving, grateful, beautiful souls
than Charlie and Evan.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
There is no greater blessing in my humble life.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
I'm beyond thankful that my best friend Stacy is recovering
from a serious surgery that.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
She had last late last week.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
She is recovering slowly but surely, and if she were
to leave this earth, I would absolutely crumble, And so
I'm grateful that she made it through and that she
continues to improve. I'm so thankful for my sisters, my sister,
(38:31):
her kids, Faith, David, my.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Brother Eric, my brother Eric.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
My brother Eric is with the K and this brother
Eric is with the K and they both have red hair.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Is that crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I'm thankful for you, Claire, joining our lives. I'm thankful
for Jody and Maggie and Kimberly and my Sober Network,
my Sobriety, my dad in heaven who must be exhausted,
absolutely exhausted, keeping me safe and sound for all the
things that I do on the down low. I'm so
(39:07):
god dang grateful that I want a car this year,
just when my lease was expiring. My God, I'm so
grateful for door Dash, the TV my coworker is giving
me for helping or moved.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
TV in general, Elvis, my baby, Ozzy, my secret dog.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
And I'm not supposed to have Ross dressed for less
because I love that store. It's like a treasure hunt,
Taco Bell, and you know what. Most of all, I'm
thankful for you guys. Thanks for being part of this
podcast that we do every day, and thanks for being
on this journey with us for the last six years now.
(39:53):
We are so grateful that you take the time to
spend time with the us, whether it be you know
later or live or where however you take us in.
It means so much that you that you listen to us.
It just means the world to us. And uh, I
(40:16):
just wanted to say thank you for you guys, especially
our podcast listeners and watchers, and and I just pray
and hope that you have either family or somebody you
call family, or somebody either you love that you are spending.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
This day with.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
And it's definitely a day to count our blessings for sure,
for sure, dearest Claire, our newest member of the show.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Yes, it got pretty heavy pretty quick.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
I do have like I don't know if the cameras
picking it up, but there's not on my face.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Oh I know, I know, God, when I air this
is it's this is not a thing that happens off
and out all. No, I know, I've maybe seen him
cry like three times. And because he doesn't normally, Eric
(41:12):
does have a little bit of a guard around his
heart and his personal life, which is totally respectable. But
when you open up, it's just it's everything to me.
I don't know, I just I just love you even
more anyway, Claire.
Speaker 5 (41:29):
Yes, I am incredibly grateful for both of my wonderful parents.
They always always have loved me like fully and unconditionally,
so amazing, which as I grow up, I keep learning
again and again is such a blessing.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (41:51):
And for both of my sisters, but especially my younger sister,
whose birthday it is this week. She is my very
best friend. Her name's Anna, Hi Hannah, Hi Anna. I'm
very grateful for my network of friends. I did a
friends giving this weekend. It's so beautiful to be able
(42:15):
to come together in that way we had. We didn't
even eat half of the food.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We had all made.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
I think we all stuffed ourselves. I'm very grateful for.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
All my.
Speaker 5 (42:31):
Job opportunities right now in the way that I get
to try new things do. I've just started doing this,
and at work I've been able to try a little
bit of this and a little bit of that.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
And I love to just good at everything she does,
by the way, Yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
Love to try new things and dip my toe in
all sorts of spaces. And they've been really generous with
letting me just try everything. And I'm grateful for drive
throughs because I love get food without getting out of
my car. I love them when they.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Just handed team right through the window.
Speaker 5 (43:07):
Yeah, and I leave the trash in my car and
it I'll palls up, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, it's good. Do you love the drive throughs that
have the big shoot, those are the best ones.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
You know who I am like you know that I'm
just a little rat creature with all this trash in
my car and I do need to just throw it
out the window trash can.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
This is the time my moment.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
That is funny. Well, thankful for you and your fast food.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
I know, well hang out my door dash are fast food. Yeah,
I mean just anyway, I just we're all very grateful
on this Thanksgiving and we're all very humble and we
just wish you the best, the best and whatever situation
you are in. And if you ever need anything, I
(44:00):
know Eric will.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
Be there for you.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
If you're going through something similar, maybe with a family
member or with a sick parent, Eric is the person
to reach out to.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
He knows.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Maybe you need to put a parent in assisted living.
Hit Eric resources, he knows, he knows all of it.
And if you ever need any help with a situation
you may find yourself not being able to control. You
(44:33):
know you're partying, or you're drinking, or you think you
might have some issues, hit me up. I'm here for you,
Claire if you need any advice on how to dress
at a renaissance fair or maybe a special move you
can make on dungeons and dragons and hit up Claire
(44:53):
ocase she is the master.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
Need a podcast produced.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
That comes second to ours.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
But yes, she's good, she's she learned all of this
like in overnight, overnight. So anyway, we're just extremely full
of gratefulness. And we love you guys so much, and
and I love you guys both very much. And thanks
for being my best friend of break how many years?
(45:23):
Nineteen years almost twenty years.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
Longer, it's been longer than twenty years. We knew each
other when we started the podcast. We knew each other
for eighteen years.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Dude, and we're going to end up together too.
Speaker 4 (45:37):
We are sleeping foot to foot Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
big old TV. Yep, door Dash. I guess I better
get used to eating door dash or and paying for it.
You am paying for it.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
It's Daddy Moore Bucks over here.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, according to you know what you know, you know
what I need my hair, my lashes, uh huh, and
nails and my nails, and you're taking care of that
for me, right because I still even I'm going to
be in bed and not being able to walk. I
still need my do done, and I still need my nails.
Maybe not lashes, but nails, no lashes.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Oh thank you. I'll throw in the last Oh.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
You, someone come in and do it for me. I
won't be going anywhere anyway.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
And you'll have to jiggle my balls.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
That's fine, I'll do that. I'll do whatever you want
at that perfectly. At that point, will be so open
with each other.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Won't even matter because at that at that age, it's
gonna look like I have a wall wrist between them.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Oh my god. Kay, And I'll probably be seeing it frequently, so.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It'll course I barely have clothes on. I be changing you,
oh for sure, or you me?
Speaker 4 (46:47):
But what probably both. We'll probably wind up wearing each
other's clothes. Will be so snile, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Well anyway, oh wait a minut, excuse me?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
What what did you not want me to tell? What
I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Oh my god, after you're the last fool, the last wrong.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
After all I said, I just completely dissed you. I
completely glossed over my co hosts. What are you thankful for,
my sweet love?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
What are you thankful for? I am thankful for number one,
my health.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Yes, health is everything.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
If you don't have that, you have nothing.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
Mentally, I'm not sure, but everything else seems to be okay. Uh,
my chosen family, my friends, Claire, this podcast, everybody that
watches and listens, and Marie over there.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Oh yes, thank you, Yes, I was thankful for you. Okay, good, okay, good,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
I'm thankful for all my songstresses.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Oh all your.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Madonna, Carrie Underwood, yeah, whatever, Christina Aguilera, I am Madonna.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
I'm thankful for Stephen and Susan who are in Canada
and I just love them very much. And animals Karen Karen, yes, Karen,
and of course Heather Marla, the Queen Marla.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh yes, she's known you a long long time. Yes.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
You guys grew up together and that's so special.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yes and yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
And I'm thankful for Tacos and TJ Max and and
home goods.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
And your facial care.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Oh all my Korean skincare.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Yeah, your Korean skincare and the skincare you get from
the Hori Cosmetic.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yes, and from Looi Cosmetics and surgery Center. Thank you.
And doctor reader. I love doctor Reiedler, she's so beautiful.
And my new car.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yeah, your new car is really nice.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I think that's it.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Yeah, you're lucky.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
You're like, we're all very like, we're all very very lucky.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Anyway, on that note.
Speaker 4 (49:37):
Oh and I'm very very lucky that trash takes itself out.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Wait i'll spain it later.
Speaker 6 (49:47):
Oh, that can apply to a couple of different people. Yeah, yes, Oh,
in general, when you're in I understand.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yes, you know what. We read each other's minds.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
I get it, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
It's like we're hooked to the same.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Okay, okay, anyway, I love you guys, and.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I love you guys and love your podcast too.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
And I love you my sweet babies. We love you,
Love you, Claire. Bye,
Hello, and welcome to Laura Kane. After dark on this
wonderful Thanksgiving twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Oh my god, Happy.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Thanks Happy Turkey Day, thanks Giving, Claire Hay.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thanksgiving, Claire, Hi, thanks for being with us on this day.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
I hope that all y'all are going to be with
people that.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
You love and be with y'all tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I know you are tomorrow, but yes, today we have
We're going to each read or tell you what we're
grateful for, because this is what this day is. It's
all about being thankful for. Just I want to know
what you're thankful for. I want to know what you're
thankful for, Claire, and I'll tell you what I'm thankful for.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
But we use this day.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
To talk about for Eric to talk about.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
His mom, his wonderful mom who.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Was his best friend really truly and died too soon.
And you've told the story about your mom before, but
there was there were a few elements that you couldn't
disclose because of certain circumstances.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
But you have more freedom now, and I think.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
You have a special message for people who may have
lost somebody or find themselves in a situation like yourself.
So I turn it over to you, my BFF, my wonderful, kind, compassionate,
soulmate funny. I love you so much, friends, I love.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
You so much. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
I The reason that I always, well not always, but
that I talk about her is she died on December first,
so it was right after Thanksgiving and right before Christmas.
So it makes the holidays a nightmare for me when
that's normally when families get together. And so my dad
(01:58):
died years ago, fifteen years ago, and so it was
just my mom. She never remarried, and we did everything together.
We went to concerts, we went to dinners. My mom
was a blast and we had the best time. She
was always up for anything. And about ten years prior
(02:23):
to her passing, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's and so
I took her to aller of her appointments, handled everything
that she needed to get handled.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
And then.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
A couple of years ago, i'd say it was about
seven years ago, she started acting strange. I would always
take her to the grocery store. That was the big
She loved going to the grocery store with me, and
I would play pranks on her, put like magnum sized
(03:01):
condoms in her shopping cart with like an egg plant,
and I would embarrass her so badly, and I love
playing jokes on her and everything, and all of a sudden,
she didn't want to go anymore. And I traveled a
lot with my job, and so I started making her
meals and she wasn't eating and complaining about her vision
(03:25):
and everything. So we went and had MRIs done, cat
scans done and nothing. So my brother called me one
night and I had to eventually get him involved because
she was forgetting doctor's appointments and I would be out
of town or i'd be just going into a meeting
(03:47):
and I'd be like, mom, when did you make this appointment?
And she's like, well, I told you. I said, no,
you never. I didn't know anything about this appointment. So
I was getting really nervous. I asked her to come
and live with me, and I lived downtown, and she
didn't want to live down there. She wanted to stay
in her house, so she didn't want to live with anybody,
(04:07):
and she was super independent. And so my brother called
me one night and said, well, we're doing a basically,
we're packing her a bag and she's coming to live
with us. And I said, have you met her like
she's she is not going to like it. So my
(04:28):
mom gets on the phone. I go over there and
I'm like, look, if it doesn't work, I will come
and get you and we'll figure it out. I'll either
move in here with you, you know, we'll figure something out.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
So at this point, what did you think was going on,
like the dementia maybe, or we didn't.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
We didn't know every every every MRI and cat scan
had come back normal. The last one that I took
her to, he said, we see a little bit of
a of a shadow on her brain, but it's nothing
to be concerned about it. It's not cancer, it's not anything.
And I'm like, okay, if you're telling us not to worry,
(05:09):
we're not going to worry. So she goes to live
with my brother. And my biggest concern with living there
was he had a big family, and I was afraid
(05:30):
that you know, they're not doctors, so if she was
to fall, that was going to create a.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
He had little kids, and there's a lot of activity, a.
Speaker 4 (05:38):
Lot of activity, animals, stuff like that, and so I
in the meantime started looking for care facilities. I never
wanted to put my mom in one, but I was like,
she can't be on her own in that big house,
rambling around with all these steps and stuff like that.
I it was just going to be a disaster. So
(06:01):
I found one that had a great reputation. Even people
that I knew in the industry were like, if you
can get her in there, get her in there. So
they had one room that was available, and just then
my mom fell at their house and I'm surprisingly. They
(06:21):
were like, well, we can't take care of her anymore,
and I said, okay, well then we're going to put
her in here. So shortly this was we put her
in the day after Thanksgiving, and about oh gosh, four
weeks later, I'm at work and I get a phone
call saying she's in the emergency room, and I'm like.
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
So I go to the hospital and I am told
that my mom has the leo blastoma, which is the
highest grade of cancer you can have. It affects only
your brain. It doesn't start anywhere else. It starts in
your brain. This particular cancer forms its own blood supply,
(07:11):
so it gets into your brain and it's almost impossible
to treat it because it's all soft tissue, so it
goes everywhere and so that's why all these things with
her vision. And I noticed, like one day she was fine,
(07:32):
the next day her left arm was like gnarled up
like a tree trunk, and her left eye was drooping.
Everything was happening on the left and I was like,
I don't know what what's happening. So all of a sudden,
she's in the hospital and we're told this.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
So did they give you any hope.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
No, they said she was eighty at the time, and
they and she was extremely frail. And the surgeon, who
was incredible and his team met with us and they said, look,
we can do the surgery on her, but because of
(08:12):
her age and how frail she is, there's two things
that could happen. She either won't make it out of
the surgery or we can let it ride. And I said, well,
she has a surgery. How long does she have and
he said eleven months? And I said, well, and if
she doesn't do the surgery, what is it And he
said couple weeks? And I was like, oh my god.
(08:35):
And so we met with my mom and we said,
what what do you want to do and she said, well,
if it'll give me more time with you guys than
the grandkids, I'll do the surgery. So she comes out
of it like a rock star. And her surgery was
on January seventh, of my birthdays on January eighth, So
(08:56):
this is where things get crazy. As we're leaving the
hospital the day of her surgery, my brother informs me, Hey,
what are you doing tomorrow? And I said, well, I'm
going to be here, and he said, well, we're leaving.
And I said, what do you mean you're leaving? Like
(09:18):
where are you going? He said, well, we're going to
go up you know, up North for a couple of days.
You know, we just need to decompress and everything. And
I'm like, now after her surgery. Yeah, I was like
right now, in the middle of all this mess where
she's not even out of the woods. And I said, okay, well,
you know what, it's your life.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Do what you need to do. I'm going to be here.
Speaker 4 (09:39):
So that morning on my birthday, we had a conversation
and he said, look, just call us when you get
home from the hospital and I said okay. And so
I in with all this going on, I had forgot
to charge my phone. So I literally get to the
(10:00):
hospital and I forgot the charger. My phone is like
at ten percent, So I was like, I'm just going
to leave it off, and it's I'm not super public
with like my private life. So I had gone on
social media and just said, hey, she went through the surgery.
I think you might have remembered that. And I was like,
(10:23):
you know, I thank the team and everything. She came
out of it great. And I didn't really elaborate on
a lot of things, and I was with her all
day and around seven pm I decided to go get
something to eat and I turned my phone on, and
I think between text messages and voicemails and emails, there
(10:47):
was something like three hundred and something. I was like,
I'm never going to get through all these. So as
I was leaving from who from friends, friends of my mom's, Yeah,
people just checking, you know, to see how she was,
and people wishing me a happy birthday and all this stuff.
(11:10):
So I noticed that my brother and his wife had
both called me back to back. So I was like,
oh my god, in forty five minutes, something couldn't have happened.
So I called my sister in law back and we
got into a huge fight over the dumbest thing.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
That happens when that does happen when families are going
through hard times.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Well, it was.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
It was insane. It wasn't about my mom. It was
about a smoke detector in her house that was beeping.
And I'm like, okay, So it winds up. I get
hung up on I'm like, I don't have time to
deal with this, so I go back. The next day,
I have a conversation with my brother. He calls me
and he says, well, I'm going to stand behind her,
(12:01):
you know, you're just this that the other. And I'm like,
wait a minute, I'm not the one that left, you know.
The day after she had brain surgery. So it just
and we had always gotten along our I was very blessed.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
You know.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
You hear people that have just horrible family lives. There's
alcoholism or violence or whatever. We never had any of that.
Speaker 3 (12:26):
I'm just you, your dad, your mom, and your brother.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
My brother and my parents were married until my dad died,
you know, so.
Speaker 3 (12:33):
You had a great relationship with everybody.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
I had a great relationship with my family. So this
was very hard for me to navigate, and it just
kept getting worse and worse, to the point where I
just needed to protect my mom and make sure that
she didn't know what was going on behind the scenes.
I didn't want her to know. I figured it was
all going to work itself out, and it just snowballed
and snowballed and snowballed. So it was me being left
(12:59):
out of appointments, cancer treatment, appointments that my mom had,
not being able to see the kids, not being able
to like, just stuff that I was left out of
that I as her son and I was her firstborn,
should have been included in, like going to the hospital
and finding that my name was raised off of the
(13:19):
call sheet. So it was just ongoing and just when
you think something worse couldn't happen, it did.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
And so.
Speaker 4 (13:34):
It got to be that after we put her in,
right before she was diagnosed, it was Christmas time, and
all my mom wanted to do. She was super depressed,
and she wanted to go home and have Christmas there
because we always had Christmas at our house. And I said, well, Mom,
you know, I don't think that's possible, and you know,
(13:57):
she was like, well then I don't want to have
Christmas at all. So I went to the people that
ran the place and I said, look, can I just
take her for just a couple hours, and they said,
absolutely not, she's too sick. We don't know what's going
on with her. And I just said please, you know,
(14:21):
I said, I knew it was going to be the
last Christmas we were ever going to have with her.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
And I said, just let me take her, and.
Speaker 4 (14:30):
I'll take any responsibility for anything. I said, please, And
so they let me do it. And so I in
one day decorated the entire got a tree, decorated it,
put all the lights up, got food, managed to keep
(14:52):
her from knowing it. And it's something that I look
back on and I'll never forget it because it was
the last time I ever really saw her smile, because
then it was just downhill after that. Then came the
cancer diagnosis and everything. So literally just a couple days
later is when she wound up in the hospital and
(15:14):
got that cancer diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
And so.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
I never regretted for one second doing it. And then
on December first, she passed. And that's when you see
your life change in a completely different way. Like I
was always, I said yes to everything. If somebody needed
(15:40):
help doing something, I said yes. I I spread myself
really thin, and those last hours with my mom, were
some of this, you know, the sweetest.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
I remember, it was very It was also very hard, yeah,
to see her.
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Well, she was in horrible, horrible pain, and my brother
and his partner had requested that she not be given
any morphine.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
Why was that why?
Speaker 4 (16:21):
I to this day don't know because they wouldn't talk
to me. So I had to beg them and they said, well,
you know you're not on the you're not authorized to.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Do anything.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
And I said, how am I not authorized? I'm her son, Like,
I'm here every single night, I've never left her side,
and and they said, well, your name was taken off.
You can't make any decisions like that. And I'm like,
I I said, if I have to get an attorney
(16:59):
at at midnight, don't underestimate me, I'll do it. And
they wound up letting me do it. So they gave
her morphine and thank god, I mean she she died
just a couple of days later.
Speaker 3 (17:13):
But were you with her? I was her last breath.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah, So I was there for my dad and that
was my one thing growing up. And my mom was like,
you're weird because I was like, who's my main fear
throughout my entire life? Was that they would die and
I wouldn't be there.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
What is it? What is it like?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
When I mean, did she did she look up at
the sky, did she like point at anything, did she
say anything?
Speaker 3 (17:44):
Did she.
Speaker 5 (17:46):
Know?
Speaker 2 (17:46):
What?
Speaker 1 (17:47):
What is that like to see somebody take their last breath?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Especially your mother?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Well, it was prior to her passing. I had walked
in one night and she was extremely religious and she
didn't know I was there, and she was crying and
she was like, why did you forsake me?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Why?
Speaker 4 (18:11):
Like growing up, we never had a microwave. She never
talked on a cell phone. She had one, never talked
on it because her biggest fear was getting brain cancer,
and ironically that's what took her. And she just was
breathing and then she wasn't and the assistant that was
(18:37):
there said they were just about ready to do a
shift change, and she said, oh, that's it. And I
said that she's gone. And I was sitting there holding
her hand and it was like I never felt her
get cold. And she said, yeah, honey, she's gone. And
I said, oh my god. And so she said, I'm
(18:58):
going to let the gentleman that's coming in it no,
and he came in and he goes, Okay, so this
is what we're gonna do. And he goes, I'm just
gonna check her one more time and he said, oh, nope,
she's still here. And I said, wait what and he
said yeah, this happens from time to time. And I'm like, well,
how long does this go on for? And he goes, oh,
(19:20):
some people it goes on for like a month. And
I'm all, oh, my god.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
Did they go in and out of death.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Yeah, And so he said, well, we'll give her, We'll
give her a little bit longer. So it went the
whole night where she was alive, and then at about
noon the next day, he said, no, that's it. And
you can tell, like they they just get a look,
(19:50):
just like a completely distant look, and they kind of
stop responding, and you know. And so it was just
her and.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I and.
Speaker 3 (20:00):
So your brother wasn't there when she took her love.
Speaker 4 (20:04):
He was there when she took her last breath. He
came in, but then he left and so I said, well,
I'm going to stay. And even with all the drama
going on behind the scenes, you know, I said, I
think we should clean out her little apartment together. I
(20:26):
think it's something that would be cathartic. And so you're.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
Out stretching an olive Branch's somebody who's.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Right that, for some reason just doesn't want anything to
do with me anymore. And I said, let me know
a time and I'll make sure that i'm here. And
the next morning, at seven am, I got a phone
call saying, we cleaned it out. Let us know if
there's anything you want and otherwise we're going to toss it.
(20:55):
And it was right then and there that I recently
had someone say to me. I didn't think people could
get lower than anything, but I had an acquaintance say
to me, I hope you die of cancer just like
your mom did. And I said.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
So.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
It really shook me in a way that nothing anybody's ever.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
Losing your mom.
Speaker 1 (21:30):
Is the most monumental thing. Yeah, that can happen to
a person. Well.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
And you know, for a while I was on my
soapbox where I was like, look, if you've got family
members that you're not close to and you're not talking
to them, or you know, you've lost a parent, but
the other parents, whatever the case may be. I was
very adamant about make amends, make peace, make this, make
(21:55):
that sometimes you just can't. And to years ago, I
got my mom's only sister, my aunt, who I adored,
passed away eleven months after my mom did, and she
was the only lifeline that I still had to my mom.
And then two years ago I got news that my
(22:19):
brother had stage four pancreatic cancer and he passed just
months later. And while I tried to make amends in
that situation, it still didn't work out very well. So
I was literally just an orphan at no family, years old,
no family, no family at all.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
So you're alone, but you're not alone, right.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
So I I had written for my mom's funeral. I
had I had written something, and I wanted and this
is going to sound so diabolical and horrible, but when
when And it was like her birthday or Valentine's Day
(23:02):
or Christmas or whatever. I would write the sappiest cards
because and I would time how long it was going
to take her to lose her shit and start crying,
because she was so sentimental and kept all the cards
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
But I had written for her funeral.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
I had written, I remember being there and it was oh, yeah,
it was beautiful.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
You were there and I at the last minute the
day of the funeral, I decided that I wasn't going
to read what I wrote because it's far too personal
and I didn't think I could get through it. But
it because of what you asked me it. It'll tell,
(23:51):
I think, a story to people that are losing someone
or have lost someone and are kind of having a
hard time navigating through it. And it's brief, but I'll
read it because I now I have very few regrets
in my life. I do regret not reading this at
(24:14):
her celebration of life.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
What were you afraid of?
Speaker 4 (24:21):
Well, even at the funeral, there was so much. There
was still draw drama going on that I knew I
wasn't going to be able to get through it. And
so and I thought, knowing what was going on, it
was going to be some sort of a who it
was going to be a mountless.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Bad that you felt like you were going to be
so judged at your mother's funeral that you for sure,
I'm glad that you get to read it.
Speaker 4 (24:47):
So I've never read it before now, so I dug
this out, so I'm just going to read it. So
it says since my mom's death, I've been walking around
in a con tradictory haze of pain and numbness, both
of which like to take turns overpowering me. It's like
being punched in the face by grief one second and
(25:08):
hug by gratitude the next. I had to continue to
do things, work, shop, go to the gym, socialize, partly
because these things still needed to get done, and partly
because if I didn't do them, I was afraid that
I would lose it completely. I wanted to wear a
sign that read I just lost my mom, Please go
easy on me, and I did my very best to
(25:28):
hide what was going on inside of me. During this time,
I began to realize that I needed to remind myself
just how hard the story is around me and everyone
else are going are, and to approach each person as
a delicate, breakable treasure, and to go easy on them
as well. With the passing of my father and now
my mother, I think differently, I sense time differently, and
(25:49):
I look at the future differently as well. Ever, since
my mom's death, I have felt more human, and I
have found myself unable to control my emotions, are staying
engaged or focus. For the first time, maybe ever, I
have had to admit that I need saving. On that
(26:17):
December morning, just before noon, I remember her face in
that very moment, lying there in bed as she quietly
passed from this life into what is beyond, no fanfare drama.
(26:42):
She just breathed in and then she didn't, just quiet,
just peace. In the width of one breath, everything changed
for me. One breath here, the next breath here after.
That's what makes up life and death. The moments that
(27:05):
I spent with my mom were precious. There were many
of them. The stories, the conversations, the meals, all the trips,
the funny moments here and there, the things she would
say and the jokes we would play on each other,
the concerts and movies and plays that we would attend,
all the times we would sit in her living room
and just talk. But I no longer had access to them.
(27:27):
That's what people never tell you about, the real life
giving stuff. You lose when someone love dies. You lose
the part of them, You lose the part of you
that only they knew. You lose some of your story.
It simply dies. My mom was the only one there
with me during some of those really special times. Now
(27:49):
that she's gone, there's no one to go to to
help me relive or revisit or remember them when I
want to. There's no one to help fill in the
gaps of my memories, no one to give me the
little pieces of my life that belonged to only the
two of us. One of the great things about my
(28:13):
mom and having people who love you and who've been
alongside of you for a long time is how they
could surprise you, how when you were with them they
can dig out a story or unveil something about you
that you had totally forgotten about or had never remembered
at all. My mom would do that all the time,
(28:35):
just tossing off a random memory that allowed me to
see myself through her eyes. It was like having a
small lost part of you suddenly and unexpectedly returned to you.
As much as I missed my mom, I miss the
me that she knew too. That's where you grieve the
(29:06):
loss of your shared story. The part of those days
that exists outside of my memory is now dead and buried.
The reality hits me of how much of me is
gone too. I grieve the loss of myself as well,
(29:26):
even though I'm still alive, and I hate that just
as sure as she isn't coming back. Neither are the
parts of my story because she was their coat owner. Well,
those experiences formed me and the rest of the deep
in the well, those experiences formed me and rest in
(29:50):
the deep confines of my heart in ways that will
certainly transcend my memories. The painful gaps will still be
there in what I lose without her eyes witness testimony.
There is a reality that hits me little by little
as I grieved brutal truths that I'd probably probably known
a lot longer, but that I couldn't wrap my brain
(30:12):
around long enough to claim as my own. Maybe it
was my brain's way of protecting itself and me from
taking too much sadness or grieve at once. I feel
like my life won't get any better. That's not to
say I won't feel better, or the sadness won't pull
away a little, or that there won't be some really
(30:33):
great moments, because there will. There will be many. I hope.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I know that I will continue to laugh anat wonderful
food and be moved by music and film and art.
I'll travel, and I'll create, and I'll spend quality time
with those I love on a door. I'll feel moments
of love and great content. I know these life giving
moments will come, but my life simply will never be
as good as when my mom was in this world.
(30:59):
It will never be better than it was before she left.
No matter who or what I add to my journey,
or what victory or success my life brings, they will
never replace the parts that's gone, the part that shape
like her. When you lose someone close to you learn
to make peace with the attrition, with the cruel subtraction
(31:25):
that death delivers. You realize that there was a time
now in the past when your family was whole, and
no matter what the future brings, it will always remain
less than. But you adapt, you cope, and you deal
with it. You do the daily tasks that you need
to do, and everything that you did before now it's
(31:47):
just a reaction to damage. This won't be the last
time I grieve for someone I love. When that day
comes does come, I'll look back and remember those days
and the times that I was a little bit closer
to whole. Part of you does die when someone you
love passes away, and the unique part of you that
they have taken with them both rest in peace. That was.
Speaker 3 (32:13):
So beautifully written, Eric, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
That was.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
So beautiful. I feel like.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I feel like that is something that should be published somewhere,
just because of the way the way you chose your
words and the way you express yourself. I don't think
you've ever seen in this.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Exposed.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
And I love you for reading that, and I love
you more than I did five minutes ago. And uh,
I know how hard it's been for you, but I
know that you also because you've had such a strong
(33:04):
mom and you have such good memories and you're you
are such a good person because of her, You've chosen
a family that you can call your family for friends.
You've made it a point to be there for people
(33:25):
who may not be your blood relative, but are your
family exactly.
Speaker 3 (33:30):
And your choices are admirable.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
And I'm in awe of you for the way that
you've carried on so valiantly and with such grace.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
So thank you for reading.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
That, of course, of course, and you know, and it
just it's just for people that are out there that
you know, as your parents get older or like you know,
you're so lucky.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
I know that's what you and that is not lost
on me. That is not lost.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
And That's why I tell people, like, if you get
the chance to spend time with your parents, like do it,
you know the time, because once once it's gone, there's
no reading and.
Speaker 3 (34:21):
There's nothing like losing.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Like I lost my father and he was my best
friend when he was only sixty. I was thirty years old.
And uh, but losing your mother as a whole, that
is h that shifts you.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
It totally does.
Speaker 3 (34:43):
It changes your mother.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
In some ways, it changed me for the better, definitely,
and then in some ways it made me a little
bit a little harder.
Speaker 1 (35:04):
You you did become a little bit more. But you've
you've you've overcome that. Yeah, I was for you were angry.
You were because that's part of grief. That's part of grief,
the sadness and then the anger. Yeah, and you had,
you definitely had that. You've you've you've dealt with it.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
But you have.
Speaker 4 (35:25):
And you know, when you're when you're somebody's everything and
in the blink of an eye, you're nothing, It's it's
a very difficult pill to swallow, you know. And like
in my situation, I mean, I hope nobody ever goes
through that, but I lost every It seemed like I
(35:46):
just lost everybody all at one time, even the ones
that were still alive.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Yeah, you know, I mean yeah, it's just that whole thing.
I mean it was.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
That's just plain sad.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Yeah. But you have us, yes, of course.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
Our podcast family. You have your great friends, you have
all your.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Girls, all my all my angels.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
All your angels, and I won't like, I won't make
you put them in order right now, okay, I'll I know, Okay, okay,
I will accept that for now.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Okay, good.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
I would like to read what I'm thankful for, if
that's okay.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
Of course, I absolutely loved hearing what you weren't able
to read. I'm glad that you were able to read
it finally a few years later.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Yeah, thank you, very very cut hard, thank you, thank
you for allowing me to do that.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
This year, I'm filled with gratitude. My mom turns eighty
five next month, and she's still my rock. She's healthy,
her mind is strong, and I soak up every minute
I get to spend with her. The fact that I
still have my mom is so beautiful and my luck.
She's my everything, and it's not lost on me. I'm
(37:12):
so blessed to have a roof over my head. I
often think that just the small things. When I'm laying
in bed, I'm like, thank God, I'm not on a
blanket on a sidewalk. I have a roof over my head.
I have two wonderful people I share my life with,
Javier and Marie.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
I thought you were going to say clar and me.
Speaker 1 (37:34):
Ah, Well, no, in my home who I love very much,
and we're like a family. My kids are the most
monumental gift God has bestowed upon me. I couldn't ask
for two more compassionate, kind, smart, loving, grateful, beautiful souls
than Charlie and Evan.
Speaker 3 (37:54):
There is no greater blessing in my humble life.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
I'm beyond thankful that my best friend Stacy is recovering
from a serious surgery that.
Speaker 3 (38:06):
She had last late last week.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
She is recovering slowly but surely, and if she were
to leave this earth, I would absolutely crumble, And so
I'm grateful that she made it through and that she
continues to improve. I'm so thankful for my sisters, my sister,
(38:31):
her kids, Faith, David, my.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Brother Eric, my brother Eric.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
My brother Eric is with the K and this brother
Eric is with the K and they both have red hair.
Speaker 3 (38:43):
Is that crazy.
Speaker 1 (38:45):
I'm thankful for you, Claire, joining our lives. I'm thankful
for Jody and Maggie and Kimberly and my Sober Network,
my Sobriety, my dad in heaven who must be exhausted,
absolutely exhausted, keeping me safe and sound for all the
things that I do on the down low. I'm so
(39:07):
god dang grateful that I want a car this year,
just when my lease was expiring. My God, I'm so
grateful for door Dash, the TV my coworker is giving
me for helping or moved.
Speaker 3 (39:22):
TV in general, Elvis, my baby, Ozzy, my secret dog.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
And I'm not supposed to have Ross dressed for less
because I love that store. It's like a treasure hunt,
Taco Bell, and you know what. Most of all, I'm
thankful for you guys. Thanks for being part of this
podcast that we do every day, and thanks for being
on this journey with us for the last six years now.
(39:53):
We are so grateful that you take the time to
spend time with the us, whether it be you know
later or live or where however you take us in.
It means so much that you that you listen to us.
It just means the world to us. And uh, I
(40:16):
just wanted to say thank you for you guys, especially
our podcast listeners and watchers, and and I just pray
and hope that you have either family or somebody you
call family, or somebody either you love that you are spending.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
This day with.
Speaker 1 (40:33):
And it's definitely a day to count our blessings for sure,
for sure, dearest Claire, our newest member of the show.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Yes, it got pretty heavy pretty quick.
Speaker 5 (40:47):
I do have like I don't know if the cameras
picking it up, but there's not on my face.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Oh I know, I know, God, when I air this
is it's this is not a thing that happens off
and out all. No, I know, I've maybe seen him
cry like three times. And because he doesn't normally, Eric
(41:12):
does have a little bit of a guard around his
heart and his personal life, which is totally respectable. But
when you open up, it's just it's everything to me.
I don't know, I just I just love you even
more anyway, Claire.
Speaker 5 (41:29):
Yes, I am incredibly grateful for both of my wonderful parents.
They always always have loved me like fully and unconditionally,
so amazing, which as I grow up, I keep learning
again and again is such a blessing.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Uh.
Speaker 5 (41:51):
And for both of my sisters, but especially my younger sister,
whose birthday it is this week. She is my very
best friend. Her name's Anna, Hi Hannah, Hi Anna. I'm
very grateful for my network of friends. I did a
friends giving this weekend. It's so beautiful to be able
(42:15):
to come together in that way we had. We didn't
even eat half of the food.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
We had all made.
Speaker 5 (42:21):
I think we all stuffed ourselves. I'm very grateful for.
Speaker 1 (42:28):
All my.
Speaker 5 (42:31):
Job opportunities right now in the way that I get
to try new things do. I've just started doing this,
and at work I've been able to try a little
bit of this and a little bit of that.
Speaker 1 (42:41):
And I love to just good at everything she does,
by the way, Yeah, I.
Speaker 5 (42:47):
Love to try new things and dip my toe in
all sorts of spaces. And they've been really generous with
letting me just try everything. And I'm grateful for drive
throughs because I love get food without getting out of
my car. I love them when they.
Speaker 3 (43:03):
Just handed team right through the window.
Speaker 5 (43:07):
Yeah, and I leave the trash in my car and
it I'll palls up, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
Yeah, it's good. Do you love the drive throughs that
have the big shoot, those are the best ones.
Speaker 5 (43:18):
You know who I am like you know that I'm
just a little rat creature with all this trash in
my car and I do need to just throw it
out the window trash can.
Speaker 3 (43:27):
This is the time my moment.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
That is funny. Well, thankful for you and your fast food.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
I know, well hang out my door dash are fast food. Yeah,
I mean just anyway, I just we're all very grateful
on this Thanksgiving and we're all very humble and we
just wish you the best, the best and whatever situation
you are in. And if you ever need anything, I
(44:00):
know Eric will.
Speaker 3 (44:01):
Be there for you.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
If you're going through something similar, maybe with a family
member or with a sick parent, Eric is the person
to reach out to.
Speaker 3 (44:10):
He knows.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Maybe you need to put a parent in assisted living.
Hit Eric resources, he knows, he knows all of it.
And if you ever need any help with a situation
you may find yourself not being able to control. You
(44:33):
know you're partying, or you're drinking, or you think you
might have some issues, hit me up. I'm here for you,
Claire if you need any advice on how to dress
at a renaissance fair or maybe a special move you
can make on dungeons and dragons and hit up Claire
(44:53):
ocase she is the master.
Speaker 5 (44:56):
Need a podcast produced.
Speaker 3 (45:00):
That comes second to ours.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
But yes, she's good, she's she learned all of this
like in overnight, overnight. So anyway, we're just extremely full
of gratefulness. And we love you guys so much, and
and I love you guys both very much. And thanks
for being my best friend of break how many years?
(45:23):
Nineteen years almost twenty years.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
Longer, it's been longer than twenty years. We knew each
other when we started the podcast. We knew each other
for eighteen years.
Speaker 3 (45:33):
Dude, and we're going to end up together too.
Speaker 4 (45:37):
We are sleeping foot to foot Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,
big old TV. Yep, door Dash. I guess I better
get used to eating door dash or and paying for it.
You am paying for it.
Speaker 3 (45:49):
It's Daddy Moore Bucks over here.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, according to you know what you know, you know
what I need my hair, my lashes, uh huh, and
nails and my nails, and you're taking care of that
for me, right because I still even I'm going to
be in bed and not being able to walk. I
still need my do done, and I still need my nails.
Maybe not lashes, but nails, no lashes.
Speaker 3 (46:13):
Oh thank you. I'll throw in the last Oh.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
You, someone come in and do it for me. I
won't be going anywhere anyway.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
And you'll have to jiggle my balls.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
That's fine, I'll do that. I'll do whatever you want
at that perfectly. At that point, will be so open
with each other.
Speaker 2 (46:29):
Won't even matter because at that at that age, it's
gonna look like I have a wall wrist between them.
Speaker 3 (46:35):
Oh my god. Kay, And I'll probably be seeing it frequently, so.
Speaker 2 (46:39):
It'll course I barely have clothes on. I be changing you,
oh for sure, or you me?
Speaker 4 (46:47):
But what probably both. We'll probably wind up wearing each
other's clothes. Will be so snile, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Well anyway, oh wait a minut, excuse me?
Speaker 2 (46:56):
What what did you not want me to tell? What
I'm saying?
Speaker 4 (47:01):
Oh my god, after you're the last fool, the last wrong.
Speaker 1 (47:08):
After all I said, I just completely dissed you. I
completely glossed over my co hosts. What are you thankful for,
my sweet love?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
What are you thankful for? I am thankful for number one,
my health.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Yes, health is everything.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (47:34):
If you don't have that, you have nothing.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
Mentally, I'm not sure, but everything else seems to be okay. Uh,
my chosen family, my friends, Claire, this podcast, everybody that
watches and listens, and Marie over there.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Oh yes, thank you, Yes, I was thankful for you. Okay, good, okay, good,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:03):
I'm thankful for all my songstresses.
Speaker 3 (48:06):
Oh all your.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Madonna, Carrie Underwood, yeah, whatever, Christina Aguilera, I am Madonna.
Speaker 2 (48:15):
I'm thankful for Stephen and Susan who are in Canada
and I just love them very much. And animals Karen Karen, yes, Karen,
and of course Heather Marla, the Queen Marla.
Speaker 3 (48:38):
Yes, of course.
Speaker 2 (48:39):
Oh yes, she's known you a long long time. Yes.
Speaker 3 (48:44):
You guys grew up together and that's so special.
Speaker 2 (48:47):
Yes and yeah.
Speaker 4 (48:50):
And I'm thankful for Tacos and TJ Max and and
home goods.
Speaker 3 (48:57):
And your facial care.
Speaker 2 (48:59):
Oh all my Korean skincare.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Yeah, your Korean skincare and the skincare you get from
the Hori Cosmetic.
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yes, and from Looi Cosmetics and surgery Center. Thank you.
And doctor reader. I love doctor Reiedler, she's so beautiful.
And my new car.
Speaker 3 (49:24):
Yeah, your new car is really nice.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
I think that's it.
Speaker 3 (49:29):
Yeah, you're lucky.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
You're like, we're all very like, we're all very very lucky.
Speaker 3 (49:33):
Anyway, on that note.
Speaker 4 (49:37):
Oh and I'm very very lucky that trash takes itself out.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Wait i'll spain it later.
Speaker 6 (49:47):
Oh, that can apply to a couple of different people. Yeah, yes, Oh,
in general, when you're in I understand.
Speaker 2 (50:00):
Yes, you know what. We read each other's minds.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
I get it, I get it, I get it.
Speaker 2 (50:04):
It's like we're hooked to the same.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
Okay, okay, anyway, I love you guys, and.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (50:14):
I love you guys and love your podcast too.
Speaker 3 (50:18):
And I love you my sweet babies. We love you,
Love you, Claire. Bye,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.