December 18, 2025 • 41 mins
Laura busts out a new game she bought on Amazon. It looked hysterical. She was so excited to play it. Now, here's the question....was this a funny game? Did you laugh at all? Did this new 20 purchase do the trick and create funny answers and banter? We're unsure. haha. So, we ask you...does this game suck? Or, do we suck at playing it? Or is it awesome? Laura is wearing her fake snap-on bangs to shake things up. She then rounds out the episode with a Random News Report, including the traditions and yearly events that might be slowly fading away forever. Trick-or-treating is on the list! Nooooooo! Oh man, do we have a great few weeks of shows coming up. Evan Elisabeth and her boyfriend join the show next week. The Terrible Temu Christmas Gift Exchange Contest is just around the corner, and so is our new logo and look. Can't wait to show you!!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Laracane After Dark with Eric remembers the podcast You'll Dig
if you.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Like a genuine and laughed so big.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's a lovable lunatic with above so real.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
The story is a crazy, the real deal, y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Erick's the talent and people with says he's kind. Hillary
gets some kind of crass curls for Claire runs the
show super plain nerd always in the note we guarantee
to make you laugh BLUs Sure, but late.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Buckle your seat belts and don't be late. Here we go.
Get ready, it'll be great on with the show.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ooh yeah, lovely, Welcome to Laura Kane After Dark.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Everybody, just a little.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Tease about what's to come. January twenty twenty six. We
are going off. It's going to be off the chain,
off the hook, off the whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Off the rails.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
This is Eric Grimmer, hi partner in crime, my ride
or Die. That's right, my non sexual boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
You're my non sexual life partner.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Seriously sold me right, non sexual, that's right. And then
we have producer Claire High. Claire, we love you already,
You're already part of the family.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We like you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I adore the fastest anybody has grown in my heart ever,
like from the get go, loved you and still do
and always will.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I was like a lot. I was a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You're like, I'll accept it. I'll take it, okay. So
welcome to Laura Keane after Dark. We appreciate you listening
and watching. And yes, I have banks today, but I
can take them off luckily because I'm already hating them.
I'm kind of in that phase. Women all go through
this phase where we kind of obsess. We go through
(01:48):
like it gets bigger and bigger and bigger of the obsession,
and you can't stop thinking, I want bangs. I'm gonna
get banks. I think I'm gonna I think I really
want banks. I'm gonna do it. Banks. Okay, I'm getting
bangs and then you get them and then within two
days Why did I get banks? I can't stand on
these banks, so I bought clipping bangs, So no problem. Right?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
How do they look like a mess? You look like
you should be on a street corner?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
What where? Where? What does it look where?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Does it look like spread eagle on the hood of
like some car in a white snake video?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh, I've been taking that as a compliment. I'll take
that as a compliment. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
It's like that sexy substitute teacher.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Look, I love it. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. Okay.
We're going to just start off by playing a new
game I got on Amazon guaranteed.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Laughs.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This game said, and now let's just let me tell you.
It's not easy to play a board game on a
podcast because you kind of have to like make it work.
So we're going to try this game. It's called off Topic,
And basically we pick a card and we had there
(03:10):
are eight topics on the card. Each. When it's your turn,
you roll the dice. Whichever letter it lands on, every
one of your answers has to start with that letter. Okay,
and we're gonna write them down. So I don't know,
do we all go at the same time? I think
(03:30):
we all If we all went at the same time,
then we'd all be quiet writing down answers. So should
we just how should we do this? Should we write
them down? Should we do it on in a time? Claire,
you're the smart one out of the bunch.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
How do you think it would flow better if we,
like if we just went one by one, if we
just read them out loud instead of writing them down.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I think that might be the way to go.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Okay, them out and then everyone says one, and then
we decide who is the best.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yes, okay, that's good.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So do write them down or don't write them down.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Don't write, don't run, don't write them down.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
You gotta okay, right, okay, you gotta say it.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
And then once everyone said, when we decide who's we
like the if do we want to if we want
to keep score, we can decide about ourselves which runs
the best, and I can all.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Keep okay, I'll keep score. We'll roll the day. We'll
go one by one. I'll do number one, you do
number two, number three, and then we'll see who's the funniest.
Is that right? I think?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
So?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Well, see what happens. Okay, So all.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Right, do we all have the same letter?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Then yes, yes, okay, and we all have the same card, right,
so we all have the same So I'll do number one,
you do number two, and the Claire gets there's number three,
and then it starts again. Okay, okay, so here we go. Ready,
all the answers have to start with this letter, and
it can be a small phrase or maybe two words.
(05:01):
So wait a minute, but it has to start with
the letter that we roll.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So I'm two, No five?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh yeah, sure, I wonder if.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
We should all like everyone gives their answer to one,
and so you has the best answer for the same question.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I think that's a better Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This is kind of some stuff we probably should have
worked out before.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
We had this conversation, but we didn't. So here you
are the behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay, all right, I love that. I love that. So
I'm gonna roll and we'll each give our answer to
number one. Yeah, okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Do we just shout it out?
Speaker 5 (05:39):
I think so, because you want to reward the quickness, right, yeah,
like if there's one that's obvious, whoever gets it first?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay, I'll roll, We'll get the letter, and then I'll
read the first Okay, Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh a adorable.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Wait, I got to read you just tank. I'm right,
I'm doing it again. Oh my god, now do you understand?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yah?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Wait, okay, here we go. Number one words to describe
your grandma fantastic, friendly.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Full of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Okay. Do I think Claire Win's that one? Because that's
cute okay, p good morning to everyone except pussy pieces.
Oh popcorn mind. I think Claire won that one.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
See things you do while you're procrastinating, comb my hair.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Catch a vibe?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Things you do while your friend Okay, you sit there
and catch vibes while you're procrastinating. No, I don't accept that.
I think, Yeah, okay, you want s blank me. If
you can't suck me, stick me slimy.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That's what's what I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I know I was reading your mind, and I was like.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
That make any sense, doesn't matter, slimy if you can.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Oh, this is not funny so far. Okay. H something
I've lied about?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Oh, m.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Uh, something I've lied about, starting with H. Having habits.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
That's good, having fun?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Okay, yes, that's acceptable, starting with H. Come on, Eric,
your brain works faster than that happiness.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, sure, D.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Flexible things Dick, I knew it.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Dildo Uh D snuts D snuts.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Oh god, it's gonna get an audio.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Oh Obama? Oh presidents Obama.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Well it can't be president.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It is president's first or last names.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Oh okayh Obama.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I think that's all we have.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Might be a first name in there somewhere Ophelia.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
President.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
No like Orian No, I.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Don't think so.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You could be the first woman president. President Ophelia up.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Things they should have taught in school at the directions.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I was taught about erections of school.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You know, did we have sex at your school? When
it was? It didn't go it didn't go far. It
wasn't really that as as uh detailed as it is.
Now what about you?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Oh things go to school entertainment.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Okay, now we're going on to card too. Okay, oh
objects what Eric, I'm going to give you a d
kick so hard you're gonna be speechless the rest of
the show.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
We could take his card away.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I know I'm about to. I'm gonna roll again because
that's not fair. Sorry, Blank made me do it. Starting
with d Devil. Oh Dave, that's my ex husband. Oh
made me do it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Tear o. Wait. Cities starting with the Vancouver Victorville.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Is that a place?
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Oh that's a city Vietnam, not a city mine, I'm on,
not a city.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Come on, I don't know. I don't have one. I
don't have one.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Valley Center there.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You go, yes, Clare wins because it's local. Okay, here
we go. I'm not going to tell you the letter
until after I read terrible baby names starting with a
ass face acid reflex ant eater. Okay, oh it's just
said anus. All you said asks same bad ideas for
(11:15):
a tattoo starting with oh, orgasm ovaries okay, uh owls
mating ovaries is probably when. Okay, things your mom was
right about starting with c cash cash is king Cox.
(11:44):
Now what now?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Tell me more?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Oh like cock size things your mom is right about?
Your mom taught you about Cox size.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No, my mom didn't. I learned that on my own.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Okay, Claire Cashmere sweaters.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Those are expensive. Oh there's one I want so bad
from l O and it's like three hundred last.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
My mom could have talked me about cocks if my
mom was Linda Lovelace.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I want my blank back, starting with h honor oh
oh good happiness.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh no, I'm happy.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
House yeah, I wow, the good old days.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I used to want a couple of houses, the good
old days, and then I screwed it all up.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I missed my my hot.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Weather. You want your hot weather back?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
No, I don't want the that's a lie.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
I told a Lie, I miss my hot clubbing. I
wish when I could go clubbing because I didn't work
at three am.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
You'r hot girl. I miss my hot era.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I miss you know what I miss? I miss brat summer.
Do you remember brat Summer?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yes? I do. Did you have fun, Brad? Did you really?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
He does it? This is like monthly and it always
has like hair in it. It's disgusting. Okay, here we go.
Things I wish a I could do for me, starting
with N nothing, negotiate nothing, that big one. I'm a
(13:37):
terrible negotiator. What do you think AI could do for you?
What do you want AI to do for you? Starting
with N nothing? All right, you just copy Claire.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Oh did you say nothing?
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I said it twice.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Say hello to my little Starting with penis. That has
to be the answer. That has to be the answer. Okay,
we'll go three and four and then we're gonna stop
this game because whatever. Okay, things I don't have time for,
(14:16):
starting with the vagina's Yeah, oh Valentine's Day. I don't
and didn't and haven't had one for a while.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Vests I never wears.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh my god, I wore a best today. Yes, don't
thank you. What make it good? Then make it be.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Funnier, Eric.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Podcast, damn Claire, good for you. I'm proud of you. Claire.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I'm gonna kick you off the sofa.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Don't even tell her you're giving a review.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Kid.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
You know what I'm gonna I didn't. I'm gonna fart.
I'm gonna crops.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right on you. Quiet. Things that give me fomo?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Wait, what are you one.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Right here?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
We didn't even do two, three or four? Oh? Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Okay creative names for adult toys.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
D dick sucker not creative.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh I'm doing a doggie style.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Dildo. Door stop.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes that's good.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Okay, there we go, Daniels. Terrible wetness.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Oh my god, that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Is you know what that answer just told me what?
Claire is really tired? I could tell on one you
are you truly are? I think I think you might
be sleeping sort of sort of right now. Yeah, you're
in subconscious mode. Okay. Things that give.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Me foma, Things that couples fight about.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I can't even you know what I think we're whatever.
Things that couples fight about, starting with m money, mother
in laws, masturbating. Okay, which one masturbating, money, money, money,
someone who is universally.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Things things that give me fomo.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
We just did that or did? I just keep saying?
But we never?
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I was like, wait, we missed the first one.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh my god, Okay, should I.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Read the card? Jesus, yeah, I am. You read the
cards now? And all the dice things that give me foma,
starting with tea.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Tits Theater, New York and in San.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Diego, tempting, titillating, testical, time, many.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
These, Okay, okay, someone who is universally loved.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Okay, Karen's put that down. Stop being a brat. Are
you gonna get around about d kick? And I'm not
even kidding.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
She's so bossy, so bossy, Claire.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
We're gonna do three more and then we'll do randomness.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Okay, ready, pretty people.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And me?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I that true. Marilyn Monroe, Oh that's what.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I was gonna say, all right, Madonna? Next, uh movies.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
T Titanic, the right stuff. Yeah, where did that come from?
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
This is final tap.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
In honor of because he did he he directed that. Okay,
good one.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Next excuses to leave a party, a menstruation, manipulative moments,
mental problems boom excellent. I love that you ready athletes?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Oh, I'm gonna No, don't just pick a more fun one.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Words to describe losing your virginity much better h hurts, hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
What. Yeah, I don't even want to go deeper into that.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Well, we lose our virginity of the difference, Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
We sure do.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Having relations have with a haven with a yeah, not
with a g.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Here's one for Laura. Reasons for being on Santa's naughty
list P prostitution.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Problem, causer penetration of Oh wow, I'm giving Oh I'm
gonna we need to dial them up right now, Santah. Yeah,
you are her on one. We'll do two more than
we're done.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Weird things I've googled d dicks.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Deep divers. I watched this documentary it's called The Longest
Breath about these people that dive d Why are you saying.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
No nor scary?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
It is? That documentary is good and crazy what these
people do? Anyway? Yeah, Claire, your answer.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Does?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Does my body have cancer? Okay, I'm always googled. I
always feel like I have cancer. Oh No, I don't
have cancer.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's fine. You know what, don't put that out in
the universe, and don't google that. Don't google your symptoms
because you will have like you're one more and then
we're done and I'm sick of this.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Okay, what uh? Things you only do with your hands?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Oh boy, here we go, Jay, Okay, come on, we
all have to have the same answer. Okay, well end
with that one. And now if you would just play
maybe his double D music to lead into a small
(21:08):
did you know? Because you know what, we didn't play
the game at properly and that's my fault. I'll take
the blame because I didn't. I literally got it today.
I opened it and then yeah, pretty much give me support.
(21:31):
I'm trying. Hey, it's content. I'm buying games. I'm thinking.
I'm always thinking about the podcast. I'm thinking about you
and me, our success, Claire hoping that she's having enough
fun that she won't leave us.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
I'm thinking about you and me too. If you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Actually, I don't. What do you mean going to get
someone to eat after this? What?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
What?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
What do you want to No?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I don't eat what.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I'm sorry? But how many McDonald's runs have we done
after the show? Plenty? But you're not into it tonight,
are you? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
All right, I'm going with you and just get something
all right? Here we go.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
People online are predicting the American traditions that they believe
will fade away over time in the near future, and
here they are. Okay, class reunions. Do you think those
will become a thing of the past completely?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
My next one, I don't even want to tell you
what it is. I think it might be. Is it
thirty or forty? I don't know. No, mine isn't the fiftieth.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
One hundred.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
But do I want to see people that I haven't
seen in like ten years? I don't. Don't, not unless
I feel like super hot and I'm doing really great
in my job. Then I'd want to show off, all right,
trick or treating? Boring boh Eric. Something significant happened to
(23:19):
Eric within the last two years because he used to love.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Halloween, Claire, and now he never liked Halloween. I didn't
like it as a kid, I hate it as an adult.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
That is a lie. Something happened, something dramatic.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
And he's not talking about I never liked Halloween.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Massive gender reveal that God, yes, bye, I can't with
the smoke now and the stupid cake and this and that?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Who squirt it out? Let's get on with our lives.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Black Friday, it already kind of has morphed into other things.
It's not people.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Outside of Monday Thursday.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You've got right, Stupid people aren't like leaving Thanksgiving dinner
to wait in line Walmart anymore. The Miss America pageant, Bye, yeah,
I'm surprised that's still on. Private fireworks daylight savings.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Time, Oh god, get rid of that too.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
You'd rather it be lighter at night?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yes? I think I have this getting dark early thing.
It's for the birds.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I sure love gaining that hour sleep though, that that
is almost worth it. Weddings at least big giant one.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yeah bye.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Thank you cards that makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I like a thank you card.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
My mom made us write thank you cards. Me too,
and I stopped doing it recently. And I used to
write the best thank you cards. But it takes a
lot of time. But it's so wor with it. People
really appreciate it. It's a lost art. I don't want
that to go away. Christmas cards. What was the last
(25:07):
time you sent up Christmas card?
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Well?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
You usually do.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I usually do. But it's getting like I can't believe
it's already the eighteenth like nothing, I've hardly gotten any
and usually I get a ton, But the last couple
of years it's really dwindled because people just don't you know.
You say it online, you say it on social media.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, you post pictures, current pictures all the time. Yeah.
I think I have literally like three and one of
them is from a casino, like a random one. Once
from a car dealership.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
That's from my dentist.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah. See, he's the kind we're getting. And you know what,
I don't have a current picture of me, Charlie and Evan.
That's that I would want to put on a card.
Order it, mail it, stamp it. It's just a lot
and people want are they going to do? Hang it up? No?
Here are the top gifts that we struggle to wrap.
(26:07):
A ladder, candles, oh, the round things, those are a
little challenging. A baseball bat. How do you wrap a
baseball bat? That would be difficult.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Slap a bow on it.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Or put it in one of those round circular things.
Look what I just did there?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Oh wow, you're felthy animal sweatpants.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Okay, I sweatpants and sweaters and thick things like that
that go in those boxes. And then the box is
like puffy. I hate that. Just stick it in a bag, right, yeah,
stick it in a gift bag. And then how to
wrap a calendar? That should be the easiest thing to wrap.
That's dumb, all right.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
It's because of all the little things at the top,
the little spindley.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Oh, put it in a put it in a bag.
Just stick it in a bag. But some thing, Oh
my gosh. I mailed Charlie's Christmas gifts today. It was
a bag full of clothes for Maya, some other little things,
and then the painting that I made them. They put
(27:10):
it in one big box. It costs one hundred dollars
to bail it. That's how heavy and big the box
had to be. And did you.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Get Maya like lead pants?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
No? I was like, okay, well that's enough. That's their
Christmas present.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So how do you get into the holiday spirit if
you're not feeling it? Are you in the holiday spirit? No?
Not even after the hotel dell?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Really, Why why is it this year that you're not?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I haven't been in the holiday spirits since my mom died.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I get it, you know what.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Absolutely hate the holidays.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
My dad died December sixteenth, and that was in nineteen
ninety eight, and it has never been the same.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
No, but you definitely get way more into the spirit
than I do.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Well, because when my kids come home, I want them
to be happy and see things that remind them of
their childhood, like this half tree I bought, which they
didn't have.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Not one thing up Christmasy in my house.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Really.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
No. I had the Christmas cards, but that's it.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Have you bought any Christmas gifts besides the teaming ones?
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I bought one.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Have either of you had the discussion with family or
friends about gift giving this year?
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I ended that with my friends a long time ago.
Nobody has time.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
My roommates and I have decided we're not doing it.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
My daughter, she has a small apartment that she shares
with her boyfriend. She doesn't need clothes, she can't bring
anything really back with her in her suitcase. So she said, Mom,
for Christmas, I just want experiences. Let's just go do
fun things and eat great food. I'm like done, Yeah,
(29:03):
that's great. So all these presents underneath the tree, empty
and fake and then my mom. Of course I'll get
my mom something, but you know, and my sister, No,
we're not exchanging. It makes it so much easier. Yeah,
less stress. But they say, watch Elf or a Christmas
story you might get you in the mood. Or plan
one small holiday event like my roommate Marie just did
(29:26):
a little cookie. You had a cookie party too, and
did that didn't get you in the mood, obviously, send
just one Christmas card to someone, make a donation to
a good cause, or look at old pictures from past holidays.
Oh god, that would make me like super sad.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I wouldn't know that would be so depressing. Who wrote
that thing?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Now? I'm only reading these stories because I did this yesterday.
Is it okay to rewear socks? What science is on it?
They say you should never wear socks more than once
you have to wash them out. I rewore a pair
(30:12):
of socks because I was desperate, because I was running
out of time getting ready for work. I'm like, I
didn't really do much in it, run anywhere or get
these sweaties, so why not? But science says there's all
sorts of micro you know, contaminants that are in your socks.
So don't rewear your socks, like from doing what. I
(30:36):
don't know, Just don't just change your socks every day.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
And finally, the average person has two spots at home
that they considered my spot. Do you have a spot?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
What's your spot?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Well?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Like like no, like in the house maybe in the
main part of the house. Do you have a spot?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Do you have a spot on the couch? Do you
have a spot at the dinner table? Your spot?
Speaker 4 (31:01):
I don't know that I do.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
My spot is on that couch in the right hand corner.
That's my spot right there. What about you?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
My couch and my bathtub?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Oh, your bathtub is your spot?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Oh yeah, it looks like a spa I know.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
And he he falls asleep. He has his phone.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I read. Oh god, I love it. I have all
the basalts.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I'll just read these headlines. Target encouraging its employees
this season to be more flirty.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
With customers Trader Joe's style.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Totally, that's what they say. They have launched a flirty
new rule requiring employees to smile at shoppers within ten
feet and then as they get closer, make eye contact, wave,
say hello, and ask if they need help and how
your day is. So basically that is a lot. That's
(32:03):
a lot to ask for an employee.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I'd be I'd be let go my first day.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
How would you feel about showering in the dark, because
it's a new trend. It's supposed to make you feel
calm without being able to see anything dark in the shower.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
And finally, old people habits that are worth adopting, like
saying nice things to strangers. Old people a lot of
times will say something to me, you know, like a stranger,
and it's always really kind and I always appreciate it,
Like watch.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
This what you have nice bangs?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Thank you? Oh, thank you, my elder, You're welcome. I
respect my elders. Darling, sweetheart, don't wash the dishes if
you're cooking, make the eaters wash dishes. Isn't that like
the rule anyway? Isn't it if you cook, the other
(33:06):
person cleans, right.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Well, that's how it's supposed to happen, but it very
rarely does.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Sleep as much as you need to. There's no shame
in self care. So if you sleep for twelve hours,
don't be guilty about it.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
No, if you need it, you need it.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Always opt for flying on the first flight of the day. Yes,
five forty five am departure. Heck yeah, because typically the
plane has been at the gate overnight and there are
shorter lines and the plane is cleaner.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I always try and take the first.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Flight out an hour early in pajamas for crossword puzzles,
reading a book, looking through news, enjoying a coup of coffee.
You do that before you get ready for the day.
You set like an hour ahead of time in your
pajamas doing these things so you can get ready for
(34:01):
your date.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Work for those who wear pajamas.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
I really I tried to get him to install a
camera in his bedroom, not to spy on his nakedness,
but one time he freaked out in the middle of
the night because he saw a spider or crawled on
his face, and just the visual of him running around
naked in his room screaming.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
No, I I got bit no, but it was something.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I would have pixelated everything. But how hysterical would that
be to see you freaking out over a tiny little
spider naked with your winger just wiggling around all over
the place. Oh my god, get rid of social media apps.
Now I would try if I didn't need them, right,
(34:53):
I agree with that one, but I but we need them.
And were there's a somebody explained hard candy. Why do
old people have hard candy? They do right and dish
mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I didn't get it before this, but now this is
what this person said. Now that I'm starting to take
meds for physical problems, my mouth gets dry, so it sucks.
So I suck on the hard candy so my mouth
isn't dry. So that's why old people have hard candy
(35:32):
instead of yummy can So.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I will tell you something. When I went to this
cookie party, we all started it was so funny talking
about I was like, oh my god, you know, I
forgot to take my acid reflex pill this morning, and
the host said, oh, well I have one, So she
goes and gets me an acid reflex pill. And then
(35:55):
somebody else says, oh my god, well I I have
to take this in one of the girls pulled out
this whole bag of multi vitamins and I was like, oh,
I take like thirty supplements a day, and so we
were naming all of the supplements we take.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Then how many pills do you think you take a
day thirty thirty? Now the supplements, like what real medication?
Like you take up blood pressure, that's it, and then
you take that oh for acid reflex thing, yes, and
then the rest supplements yes.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And then I recently had to start taking this pill
that you oh, the saliva pill, yes, that you have
to wedge between your gum to stimulate saliva so that
I don't snore or gag.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I take three and they're all anidepressants, Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
That's why you're a total delight.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Well, I've been on them since I was in rehabit.
I'm afraid to go off of them. I'm afraid. I
don't want to be on three and pressants. That's like
embarrassing and I shouldn't have to be. But what I'm
afraid if I go off of them then bad things
will happen.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
I feel like shouldn't is not a helpful frame, Like
what do you mean you shouldn't?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I know what you're saying. I just don't want to
be that. I feel like I don't want to be
the person that has to take three and different kinds
of aidepressants may to keep me upright and functioning. But hey,
whatever's worse things in the world. Now, do you take anything? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:40):
I take anydepressants too.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Oh yeah, Oh I feel better now.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
I'm a big fan.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Which one me and my girl?
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Prozac?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
I'm on prozac too.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
Yeah, we roll deep.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Oh my god, Well I bump it up with a
Bilify too. I don't do that one that that pumps
up the prozac. That's what the doctor.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Oh that's so sad. Wow, look what I got us
started on.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
You know what I heard? People that have these kind
of problems are of the more intelligent kind.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Yes, a torture genius.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Because we are we are we are.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
It's because we see the way the world really is
and we can't handle it totally.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Oh my god, I am in the presence of greatness.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So let me tell you. You might need to be
on an anodepressant. Why. I don't know. Maybe you're out
you're outbursts, my what outbursts to customer service individuals and
people that bug you on the road? You go, you
get a little hot under the collar.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Not I've been a real delight.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
How about then as annex?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
What does that do? Oh?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Boy, I see he's such a baby. That helps calm
me down. But you don't want to get hooked on that.
That's bad stuff.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I don't want to get hooked on the juice.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Don't get hooked on any of the juice. All right,
we are done with this episode. We are Oh my gosh,
next week is going to be so close to Christmas, right,
holy hoping. Oh my gosh, Evan's going to be coming
home next week.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Oh my god. I'm hoping that by Monday I have
all of your.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Okay, yeah, trouble. We might do the Team of Christmas
on Monday if we have them, but we're pushing it
back until all every single gift comes because I have
spent a lot of money and I've made a lot
of thought into this.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Listen. I had to kick it up a notch this
year for you.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And you are not pussing out of going to the
grocery store up the street and walking around and having
me video you.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And oh if you lose, and neither are you, I won't.
We have to put on and hold and do everything.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Shake on it, No, Eric, that's not fair. Shake on it.
This is a bet.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I'm not betting.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Claire what this is. That's what this whole thing is about.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Oh, you're just gonna have to do it.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Why is he being weird?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Because see, because he needs to be on antidepressant. No,
because he's been.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
I might need to be after this tempo.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Christmas, My god, you're going or else I'm gonna put down.
I'm going to make a rule sheet.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Oh god, here's she here she goes with the rural sheets. Claire.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I will tie you up like a dog and take
and take the leash and walk you up the hill
to the grocery store.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
It's not Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Shut up, all right, we're gonna end this thing anyway.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Thank you for dog Color is only for Saturday nights.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Thank you for watching and listening. And we have a
lot more in sore. We Oh, we can't wait for
next year to start. It's gonna be so great.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, it's gonna be a delight.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Thank you for watching, Thank you for listening. Love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
What wait?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
I was, what were you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I was gonna ask you? Never mind love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Well, now you're gonna tell me what you're gonna ask me.
I can just say that what I forgot anyway. I
love you, my sweet babies, and I don't like this one. Bye,
stop it. Don't touch me. You don't get to touch
my boobs up. No you don't. Goodbye, goodbye, love you
(41:45):
bye
Laracane After Dark with Eric remembers the podcast You'll Dig
if you.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Like a genuine and laughed so big.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's a lovable lunatic with above so real.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
The story is a crazy, the real deal, y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Erick's the talent and people with says he's kind. Hillary
gets some kind of crass curls for Claire runs the
show super plain nerd always in the note we guarantee
to make you laugh BLUs Sure, but late.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Buckle your seat belts and don't be late. Here we go.
Get ready, it'll be great on with the show.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Ooh yeah, lovely, Welcome to Laura Kane After Dark.
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Everybody, just a little.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Tease about what's to come. January twenty twenty six. We
are going off. It's going to be off the chain,
off the hook, off the whatever.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Off the rails.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
This is Eric Grimmer, hi partner in crime, my ride
or Die. That's right, my non sexual boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
You're my non sexual life partner.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Seriously sold me right, non sexual, that's right. And then
we have producer Claire High. Claire, we love you already,
You're already part of the family.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We like you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I adore the fastest anybody has grown in my heart ever,
like from the get go, loved you and still do
and always will.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I was like a lot. I was a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
You're like, I'll accept it. I'll take it, okay. So
welcome to Laura Keane after Dark. We appreciate you listening
and watching. And yes, I have banks today, but I
can take them off luckily because I'm already hating them.
I'm kind of in that phase. Women all go through
this phase where we kind of obsess. We go through
(01:48):
like it gets bigger and bigger and bigger of the obsession,
and you can't stop thinking, I want bangs. I'm gonna
get banks. I think I'm gonna I think I really
want banks. I'm gonna do it. Banks. Okay, I'm getting
bangs and then you get them and then within two
days Why did I get banks? I can't stand on
these banks, so I bought clipping bangs, So no problem. Right?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
How do they look like a mess? You look like
you should be on a street corner?
Speaker 2 (02:19):
What where? Where? What does it look where?
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Does it look like spread eagle on the hood of
like some car in a white snake video?
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Oh, I've been taking that as a compliment. I'll take
that as a compliment. Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 3 (02:33):
It's like that sexy substitute teacher.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Look, I love it. Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. Okay.
We're going to just start off by playing a new
game I got on Amazon guaranteed.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Laughs.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
This game said, and now let's just let me tell you.
It's not easy to play a board game on a
podcast because you kind of have to like make it work.
So we're going to try this game. It's called off Topic,
And basically we pick a card and we had there
(03:10):
are eight topics on the card. Each. When it's your turn,
you roll the dice. Whichever letter it lands on, every
one of your answers has to start with that letter. Okay,
and we're gonna write them down. So I don't know,
do we all go at the same time? I think
(03:30):
we all If we all went at the same time,
then we'd all be quiet writing down answers. So should
we just how should we do this? Should we write
them down? Should we do it on in a time? Claire,
you're the smart one out of the bunch.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
How do you think it would flow better if we,
like if we just went one by one, if we
just read them out loud instead of writing them down.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
I think that might be the way to go.
Speaker 5 (03:59):
Okay, them out and then everyone says one, and then
we decide who is the best.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yes, okay, that's good.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
So do write them down or don't write them down.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Don't write, don't run, don't write them down.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
You gotta okay, right, okay, you gotta say it.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
And then once everyone said, when we decide who's we
like the if do we want to if we want
to keep score, we can decide about ourselves which runs
the best, and I can all.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Keep okay, I'll keep score. We'll roll the day. We'll
go one by one. I'll do number one, you do
number two, number three, and then we'll see who's the funniest.
Is that right? I think?
Speaker 4 (04:32):
So?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Well, see what happens. Okay, So all.
Speaker 3 (04:35):
Right, do we all have the same letter?
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Then yes, yes, okay, and we all have the same card, right,
so we all have the same So I'll do number one,
you do number two, and the Claire gets there's number three,
and then it starts again. Okay, okay, so here we go. Ready,
all the answers have to start with this letter, and
it can be a small phrase or maybe two words.
(05:01):
So wait a minute, but it has to start with
the letter that we roll.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
So I'm two, No five?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Oh yeah, sure, I wonder if.
Speaker 5 (05:14):
We should all like everyone gives their answer to one,
and so you has the best answer for the same question.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I think that's a better Okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
This is kind of some stuff we probably should have
worked out before.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
We had this conversation, but we didn't. So here you
are the behind the scenes.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay, all right, I love that. I love that. So
I'm gonna roll and we'll each give our answer to
number one. Yeah, okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
Do we just shout it out?
Speaker 5 (05:39):
I think so, because you want to reward the quickness, right, yeah,
like if there's one that's obvious, whoever gets it first?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Okay, I'll roll, We'll get the letter, and then I'll
read the first Okay, Okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Oh a adorable.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Wait, I got to read you just tank. I'm right,
I'm doing it again. Oh my god, now do you understand?
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yah?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Wait, okay, here we go. Number one words to describe
your grandma fantastic, friendly.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Full of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Okay. Do I think Claire Win's that one? Because that's
cute okay, p good morning to everyone except pussy pieces.
Oh popcorn mind. I think Claire won that one.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
I'll take it.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
See things you do while you're procrastinating, comb my hair.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Catch a vibe?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Things you do while your friend Okay, you sit there
and catch vibes while you're procrastinating. No, I don't accept that.
I think, Yeah, okay, you want s blank me. If
you can't suck me, stick me slimy.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
That's what's what I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
I know I was reading your mind, and I was like.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
That make any sense, doesn't matter, slimy if you can.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
Oh, this is not funny so far. Okay. H something
I've lied about?
Speaker 4 (07:44):
Oh, m.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Uh, something I've lied about, starting with H. Having habits.
Speaker 4 (07:57):
That's good, having fun?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Okay, yes, that's acceptable, starting with H. Come on, Eric,
your brain works faster than that happiness.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Yeah, sure, D.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Flexible things Dick, I knew it.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Dildo Uh D snuts D snuts.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Oh god, it's gonna get an audio.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Oh Obama? Oh presidents Obama.
Speaker 4 (08:44):
Well it can't be president.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
It is president's first or last names.
Speaker 5 (08:49):
Oh okayh Obama.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
I think that's all we have.
Speaker 4 (08:57):
Might be a first name in there somewhere Ophelia.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
President.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
No like Orian No, I.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
Don't think so.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
You could be the first woman president. President Ophelia up.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
Things they should have taught in school at the directions.
Speaker 4 (09:19):
I was taught about erections of school.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
You know, did we have sex at your school? When
it was? It didn't go it didn't go far. It
wasn't really that as as uh detailed as it is.
Now what about you?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (09:37):
Oh things go to school entertainment.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Okay, now we're going on to card too. Okay, oh
objects what Eric, I'm going to give you a d
kick so hard you're gonna be speechless the rest of
the show.
Speaker 4 (09:58):
We could take his card away.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
I know I'm about to. I'm gonna roll again because
that's not fair. Sorry, Blank made me do it. Starting
with d Devil. Oh Dave, that's my ex husband. Oh
made me do it.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Tear o. Wait. Cities starting with the Vancouver Victorville.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Is that a place?
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Oh that's a city Vietnam, not a city mine, I'm on,
not a city.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Come on, I don't know. I don't have one. I
don't have one.
Speaker 4 (10:46):
Valley Center there.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You go, yes, Clare wins because it's local. Okay, here
we go. I'm not going to tell you the letter
until after I read terrible baby names starting with a
ass face acid reflex ant eater. Okay, oh it's just
said anus. All you said asks same bad ideas for
(11:15):
a tattoo starting with oh, orgasm ovaries okay, uh owls
mating ovaries is probably when. Okay, things your mom was
right about starting with c cash cash is king Cox.
(11:44):
Now what now?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
Tell me more?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Oh like cock size things your mom is right about?
Your mom taught you about Cox size.
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No, my mom didn't. I learned that on my own.
Speaker 5 (11:58):
Okay, Claire Cashmere sweaters.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Oh that's good.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Those are expensive. Oh there's one I want so bad
from l O and it's like three hundred last.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
My mom could have talked me about cocks if my
mom was Linda Lovelace.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I want my blank back, starting with h honor oh
oh good happiness.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Wow?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Oh no, I'm happy.
Speaker 5 (12:36):
House yeah, I wow, the good old days.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
I used to want a couple of houses, the good
old days, and then I screwed it all up.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
I missed my my hot.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Weather. You want your hot weather back?
Speaker 4 (12:53):
No, I don't want the that's a lie.
Speaker 5 (12:55):
I told a Lie, I miss my hot clubbing. I
wish when I could go clubbing because I didn't work
at three am.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
You'r hot girl. I miss my hot era.
Speaker 4 (13:03):
I miss you know what I miss? I miss brat summer.
Do you remember brat Summer?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Yes? I do. Did you have fun, Brad? Did you really?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
He does it? This is like monthly and it always
has like hair in it. It's disgusting. Okay, here we go.
Things I wish a I could do for me, starting
with N nothing, negotiate nothing, that big one. I'm a
(13:37):
terrible negotiator. What do you think AI could do for you?
What do you want AI to do for you? Starting
with N nothing? All right, you just copy Claire.
Speaker 3 (13:52):
Oh did you say nothing?
Speaker 4 (13:54):
I said it twice.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Say hello to my little Starting with penis. That has
to be the answer. That has to be the answer. Okay,
we'll go three and four and then we're gonna stop
this game because whatever. Okay, things I don't have time for,
(14:16):
starting with the vagina's Yeah, oh Valentine's Day. I don't
and didn't and haven't had one for a while.
Speaker 4 (14:31):
Vests I never wears.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh my god, I wore a best today. Yes, don't
thank you. What make it good? Then make it be.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Funnier, Eric.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Podcast, damn Claire, good for you. I'm proud of you. Claire.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I'm gonna kick you off the sofa.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Don't even tell her you're giving a review.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Kid.
Speaker 3 (15:00):
You know what I'm gonna I didn't. I'm gonna fart.
I'm gonna crops.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
Right on you. Quiet. Things that give me fomo?
Speaker 3 (15:08):
Wait, what are you one.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Right here?
Speaker 3 (15:16):
We didn't even do two, three or four? Oh? Oh
my god.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Okay creative names for adult toys.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
D dick sucker not creative.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
Oh I'm doing a doggie style.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Dildo. Door stop.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Yes that's good.
Speaker 5 (15:36):
Okay, there we go, Daniels. Terrible wetness.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Oh my god, that.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Is you know what that answer just told me what?
Claire is really tired? I could tell on one you
are you truly are? I think I think you might
be sleeping sort of sort of right now. Yeah, you're
in subconscious mode. Okay. Things that give.
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Me foma, Things that couples fight about.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
I can't even you know what I think we're whatever.
Things that couples fight about, starting with m money, mother
in laws, masturbating. Okay, which one masturbating, money, money, money,
someone who is universally.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Things things that give me fomo.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
We just did that or did? I just keep saying?
But we never?
Speaker 4 (16:34):
I was like, wait, we missed the first one.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh my god, Okay, should I.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Read the card? Jesus, yeah, I am. You read the
cards now? And all the dice things that give me foma,
starting with tea.
Speaker 4 (16:48):
Tits Theater, New York and in San.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Diego, tempting, titillating, testical, time, many.
Speaker 3 (17:07):
These, Okay, okay, someone who is universally loved.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Okay, Karen's put that down. Stop being a brat. Are
you gonna get around about d kick? And I'm not
even kidding.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
She's so bossy, so bossy, Claire.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
We're gonna do three more and then we'll do randomness.
Speaker 3 (17:34):
Okay, ready, pretty people.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
And me?
Speaker 2 (17:40):
I that true. Marilyn Monroe, Oh that's what.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I was gonna say, all right, Madonna? Next, uh movies.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
T Titanic, the right stuff. Yeah, where did that come from?
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
This is final tap.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
In honor of because he did he he directed that. Okay,
good one.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Next excuses to leave a party, a menstruation, manipulative moments,
mental problems boom excellent. I love that you ready athletes?
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Oh, I'm gonna No, don't just pick a more fun one.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
Words to describe losing your virginity much better h hurts, hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
What. Yeah, I don't even want to go deeper into that.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Well, we lose our virginity of the difference, Yes.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
We sure do.
Speaker 5 (18:57):
Having relations have with a haven with a yeah, not
with a g.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Here's one for Laura. Reasons for being on Santa's naughty
list P prostitution.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Problem, causer penetration of Oh wow, I'm giving Oh I'm
gonna we need to dial them up right now, Santah. Yeah,
you are her on one. We'll do two more than
we're done.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Weird things I've googled d dicks.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
Deep divers. I watched this documentary it's called The Longest
Breath about these people that dive d Why are you saying.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
No nor scary?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
It is? That documentary is good and crazy what these
people do? Anyway? Yeah, Claire, your answer.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Does?
Speaker 4 (20:16):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
Does my body have cancer? Okay, I'm always googled. I
always feel like I have cancer. Oh No, I don't
have cancer.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's fine. You know what, don't put that out in
the universe, and don't google that. Don't google your symptoms
because you will have like you're one more and then
we're done and I'm sick of this.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Okay, what uh? Things you only do with your hands?
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Oh boy, here we go, Jay, Okay, come on, we
all have to have the same answer. Okay, well end
with that one. And now if you would just play
maybe his double D music to lead into a small
(21:08):
did you know? Because you know what, we didn't play
the game at properly and that's my fault. I'll take
the blame because I didn't. I literally got it today.
I opened it and then yeah, pretty much give me support.
(21:31):
I'm trying. Hey, it's content. I'm buying games. I'm thinking.
I'm always thinking about the podcast. I'm thinking about you
and me, our success, Claire hoping that she's having enough
fun that she won't leave us.
Speaker 3 (21:46):
I'm thinking about you and me too. If you know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
Actually, I don't. What do you mean going to get
someone to eat after this? What?
Speaker 3 (21:57):
What?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
What do you want to No?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
I don't eat what.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I'm sorry? But how many McDonald's runs have we done
after the show? Plenty? But you're not into it tonight,
are you? Whatever?
Speaker 3 (22:15):
All right, I'm going with you and just get something
all right? Here we go.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
People online are predicting the American traditions that they believe
will fade away over time in the near future, and
here they are. Okay, class reunions. Do you think those
will become a thing of the past completely?
Speaker 3 (22:40):
For sure?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
My next one, I don't even want to tell you
what it is. I think it might be. Is it
thirty or forty? I don't know. No, mine isn't the fiftieth.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
One hundred.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
But do I want to see people that I haven't
seen in like ten years? I don't. Don't, not unless
I feel like super hot and I'm doing really great
in my job. Then I'd want to show off, all right,
trick or treating? Boring boh Eric. Something significant happened to
(23:19):
Eric within the last two years because he used to love.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
Halloween, Claire, and now he never liked Halloween. I didn't
like it as a kid, I hate it as an adult.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
That is a lie. Something happened, something dramatic.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
And he's not talking about I never liked Halloween.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Massive gender reveal that God, yes, bye, I can't with
the smoke now and the stupid cake and this and that?
Speaker 3 (23:46):
Who squirt it out? Let's get on with our lives.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Black Friday, it already kind of has morphed into other things.
It's not people.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Outside of Monday Thursday.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
You've got right, Stupid people aren't like leaving Thanksgiving dinner
to wait in line Walmart anymore. The Miss America pageant, Bye, yeah,
I'm surprised that's still on. Private fireworks daylight savings.
Speaker 3 (24:21):
Time, Oh god, get rid of that too.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
You'd rather it be lighter at night?
Speaker 3 (24:26):
Yes? I think I have this getting dark early thing.
It's for the birds.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
I sure love gaining that hour sleep though, that that
is almost worth it. Weddings at least big giant one.
Speaker 3 (24:38):
Yeah bye.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Thank you cards that makes me sad.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
I like a thank you card.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
My mom made us write thank you cards. Me too,
and I stopped doing it recently. And I used to
write the best thank you cards. But it takes a
lot of time. But it's so wor with it. People
really appreciate it. It's a lost art. I don't want
that to go away. Christmas cards. What was the last
(25:07):
time you sent up Christmas card?
Speaker 3 (25:09):
Well?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
You usually do.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
I usually do. But it's getting like I can't believe
it's already the eighteenth like nothing, I've hardly gotten any
and usually I get a ton, But the last couple
of years it's really dwindled because people just don't you know.
You say it online, you say it on social media.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
Yeah, you post pictures, current pictures all the time. Yeah.
I think I have literally like three and one of
them is from a casino, like a random one. Once
from a car dealership.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
That's from my dentist.
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah. See, he's the kind we're getting. And you know what,
I don't have a current picture of me, Charlie and Evan.
That's that I would want to put on a card.
Order it, mail it, stamp it. It's just a lot
and people want are they going to do? Hang it up? No?
Here are the top gifts that we struggle to wrap.
(26:07):
A ladder, candles, oh, the round things, those are a
little challenging. A baseball bat. How do you wrap a
baseball bat? That would be difficult.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Slap a bow on it.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Or put it in one of those round circular things.
Look what I just did there?
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Oh wow, you're felthy animal sweatpants.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Okay, I sweatpants and sweaters and thick things like that
that go in those boxes. And then the box is
like puffy. I hate that. Just stick it in a bag, right, yeah,
stick it in a gift bag. And then how to
wrap a calendar? That should be the easiest thing to wrap.
That's dumb, all right.
Speaker 3 (26:47):
It's because of all the little things at the top,
the little spindley.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Oh, put it in a put it in a bag.
Just stick it in a bag. But some thing, Oh
my gosh. I mailed Charlie's Christmas gifts today. It was
a bag full of clothes for Maya, some other little things,
and then the painting that I made them. They put
(27:10):
it in one big box. It costs one hundred dollars
to bail it. That's how heavy and big the box
had to be. And did you.
Speaker 3 (27:21):
Get Maya like lead pants?
Speaker 2 (27:23):
No? I was like, okay, well that's enough. That's their
Christmas present.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
So how do you get into the holiday spirit if
you're not feeling it? Are you in the holiday spirit? No?
Not even after the hotel dell?
Speaker 3 (27:39):
No?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Really, Why why is it this year that you're not?
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I haven't been in the holiday spirits since my mom died.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I get it, you know what.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Absolutely hate the holidays.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
My dad died December sixteenth, and that was in nineteen
ninety eight, and it has never been the same.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
No, but you definitely get way more into the spirit
than I do.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Well, because when my kids come home, I want them
to be happy and see things that remind them of
their childhood, like this half tree I bought, which they
didn't have.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
Not one thing up Christmasy in my house.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Really.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
No. I had the Christmas cards, but that's it.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Have you bought any Christmas gifts besides the teaming ones?
Speaker 3 (28:20):
I bought one.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Have either of you had the discussion with family or
friends about gift giving this year?
Speaker 3 (28:32):
I ended that with my friends a long time ago.
Nobody has time.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
My roommates and I have decided we're not doing it.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
My daughter, she has a small apartment that she shares
with her boyfriend. She doesn't need clothes, she can't bring
anything really back with her in her suitcase. So she said, Mom,
for Christmas, I just want experiences. Let's just go do
fun things and eat great food. I'm like done, Yeah,
(29:03):
that's great. So all these presents underneath the tree, empty
and fake and then my mom. Of course I'll get
my mom something, but you know, and my sister, No,
we're not exchanging. It makes it so much easier. Yeah,
less stress. But they say, watch Elf or a Christmas
story you might get you in the mood. Or plan
one small holiday event like my roommate Marie just did
(29:26):
a little cookie. You had a cookie party too, and
did that didn't get you in the mood, obviously, send
just one Christmas card to someone, make a donation to
a good cause, or look at old pictures from past holidays.
Oh god, that would make me like super sad.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
I wouldn't know that would be so depressing. Who wrote
that thing?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Now? I'm only reading these stories because I did this yesterday.
Is it okay to rewear socks? What science is on it?
They say you should never wear socks more than once
you have to wash them out. I rewore a pair
(30:12):
of socks because I was desperate, because I was running
out of time getting ready for work. I'm like, I
didn't really do much in it, run anywhere or get
these sweaties, so why not? But science says there's all
sorts of micro you know, contaminants that are in your socks.
So don't rewear your socks, like from doing what. I
(30:36):
don't know, Just don't just change your socks every day.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
And finally, the average person has two spots at home
that they considered my spot. Do you have a spot?
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
What's your spot?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Well?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Like like no, like in the house maybe in the
main part of the house. Do you have a spot?
Speaker 1 (30:57):
Like?
Speaker 2 (30:57):
Do you have a spot on the couch? Do you
have a spot at the dinner table? Your spot?
Speaker 4 (31:01):
I don't know that I do.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
My spot is on that couch in the right hand corner.
That's my spot right there. What about you?
Speaker 3 (31:12):
My couch and my bathtub?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Oh, your bathtub is your spot?
Speaker 3 (31:16):
Oh yeah, it looks like a spa I know.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
And he he falls asleep. He has his phone.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
I read. Oh god, I love it. I have all
the basalts.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah, I'll just read these headlines. Target encouraging its employees
this season to be more flirty.
Speaker 4 (31:37):
With customers Trader Joe's style.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Totally, that's what they say. They have launched a flirty
new rule requiring employees to smile at shoppers within ten
feet and then as they get closer, make eye contact, wave,
say hello, and ask if they need help and how
your day is. So basically that is a lot. That's
(32:03):
a lot to ask for an employee.
Speaker 3 (32:05):
I'd be I'd be let go my first day.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
How would you feel about showering in the dark, because
it's a new trend. It's supposed to make you feel
calm without being able to see anything dark in the shower.
Speaker 3 (32:18):
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
And finally, old people habits that are worth adopting, like
saying nice things to strangers. Old people a lot of
times will say something to me, you know, like a stranger,
and it's always really kind and I always appreciate it,
Like watch.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
This what you have nice bangs?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Thank you? Oh, thank you, my elder, You're welcome. I
respect my elders. Darling, sweetheart, don't wash the dishes if
you're cooking, make the eaters wash dishes. Isn't that like
the rule anyway? Isn't it if you cook, the other
(33:06):
person cleans, right.
Speaker 3 (33:08):
Well, that's how it's supposed to happen, but it very
rarely does.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Sleep as much as you need to. There's no shame
in self care. So if you sleep for twelve hours,
don't be guilty about it.
Speaker 3 (33:20):
No, if you need it, you need it.
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Always opt for flying on the first flight of the day. Yes,
five forty five am departure. Heck yeah, because typically the
plane has been at the gate overnight and there are
shorter lines and the plane is cleaner.
Speaker 3 (33:38):
I always try and take the first.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Flight out an hour early in pajamas for crossword puzzles,
reading a book, looking through news, enjoying a coup of coffee.
You do that before you get ready for the day.
You set like an hour ahead of time in your
pajamas doing these things so you can get ready for
(34:01):
your date.
Speaker 3 (34:02):
Work for those who wear pajamas.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
I really I tried to get him to install a
camera in his bedroom, not to spy on his nakedness,
but one time he freaked out in the middle of
the night because he saw a spider or crawled on
his face, and just the visual of him running around
naked in his room screaming.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
No, I I got bit no, but it was something.
Speaker 2 (34:31):
I would have pixelated everything. But how hysterical would that
be to see you freaking out over a tiny little
spider naked with your winger just wiggling around all over
the place. Oh my god, get rid of social media apps.
Now I would try if I didn't need them, right,
(34:53):
I agree with that one, but I but we need them.
And were there's a somebody explained hard candy. Why do
old people have hard candy? They do right and dish
mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I didn't get it before this, but now this is
what this person said. Now that I'm starting to take
meds for physical problems, my mouth gets dry, so it sucks.
So I suck on the hard candy so my mouth
isn't dry. So that's why old people have hard candy
(35:32):
instead of yummy can So.
Speaker 3 (35:34):
I will tell you something. When I went to this
cookie party, we all started it was so funny talking
about I was like, oh my god, you know, I
forgot to take my acid reflex pill this morning, and
the host said, oh, well I have one, So she
goes and gets me an acid reflex pill. And then
(35:55):
somebody else says, oh my god, well I I have
to take this in one of the girls pulled out
this whole bag of multi vitamins and I was like, oh,
I take like thirty supplements a day, and so we
were naming all of the supplements we take.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Then how many pills do you think you take a
day thirty thirty? Now the supplements, like what real medication?
Like you take up blood pressure, that's it, and then
you take that oh for acid reflex thing, yes, and
then the rest supplements yes.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
And then I recently had to start taking this pill
that you oh, the saliva pill, yes, that you have
to wedge between your gum to stimulate saliva so that
I don't snore or gag.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
I take three and they're all anidepressants, Thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
That's why you're a total delight.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Well, I've been on them since I was in rehabit.
I'm afraid to go off of them. I'm afraid. I
don't want to be on three and pressants. That's like
embarrassing and I shouldn't have to be. But what I'm
afraid if I go off of them then bad things
will happen.
Speaker 4 (37:12):
I feel like shouldn't is not a helpful frame, Like
what do you mean you shouldn't?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
I know what you're saying. I just don't want to
be that. I feel like I don't want to be
the person that has to take three and different kinds
of aidepressants may to keep me upright and functioning. But hey,
whatever's worse things in the world. Now, do you take anything? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (37:40):
I take anydepressants too.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
Oh yeah, Oh I feel better now.
Speaker 4 (37:45):
I'm a big fan.
Speaker 2 (37:47):
Which one me and my girl?
Speaker 4 (37:48):
Prozac?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
I'm on prozac too.
Speaker 4 (37:50):
Yeah, we roll deep.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Oh my god, Well I bump it up with a
Bilify too. I don't do that one that that pumps
up the prozac. That's what the doctor.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
Oh that's so sad. Wow, look what I got us
started on.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
You know what I heard? People that have these kind
of problems are of the more intelligent kind.
Speaker 4 (38:11):
Yes, a torture genius.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Because we are we are we are.
Speaker 5 (38:16):
It's because we see the way the world really is
and we can't handle it totally.
Speaker 3 (38:22):
Oh my god, I am in the presence of greatness.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
So let me tell you. You might need to be
on an anodepressant. Why. I don't know. Maybe you're out
you're outbursts, my what outbursts to customer service individuals and
people that bug you on the road? You go, you
get a little hot under the collar.
Speaker 3 (38:45):
Not I've been a real delight.
Speaker 2 (38:47):
How about then as annex?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
What does that do? Oh?
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Boy, I see he's such a baby. That helps calm
me down. But you don't want to get hooked on that.
That's bad stuff.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
I don't want to get hooked on the juice.
Speaker 2 (39:01):
Don't get hooked on any of the juice. All right,
we are done with this episode. We are Oh my gosh,
next week is going to be so close to Christmas, right,
holy hoping. Oh my gosh, Evan's going to be coming
home next week.
Speaker 3 (39:18):
Oh my god. I'm hoping that by Monday I have
all of your.
Speaker 2 (39:25):
Okay, yeah, trouble. We might do the Team of Christmas
on Monday if we have them, but we're pushing it
back until all every single gift comes because I have
spent a lot of money and I've made a lot
of thought into this.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Listen. I had to kick it up a notch this
year for you.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
And you are not pussing out of going to the
grocery store up the street and walking around and having
me video you.
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And oh if you lose, and neither are you, I won't.
We have to put on and hold and do everything.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Shake on it, No, Eric, that's not fair. Shake on it.
This is a bet.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I'm not betting.
Speaker 2 (40:10):
Claire what this is. That's what this whole thing is about.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Oh, you're just gonna have to do it.
Speaker 4 (40:19):
Why is he being weird?
Speaker 2 (40:20):
Because see, because he needs to be on antidepressant. No,
because he's been.
Speaker 3 (40:26):
I might need to be after this tempo.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Christmas, My god, you're going or else I'm gonna put down.
I'm going to make a rule sheet.
Speaker 3 (40:35):
Oh god, here's she here she goes with the rural sheets. Claire.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
I will tie you up like a dog and take
and take the leash and walk you up the hill
to the grocery store.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
It's not Saturday night.
Speaker 2 (40:51):
Shut up, all right, we're gonna end this thing anyway.
Speaker 3 (40:55):
Thank you for dog Color is only for Saturday nights.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Thank you for watching and listening. And we have a
lot more in sore. We Oh, we can't wait for
next year to start. It's gonna be so great.
Speaker 3 (41:08):
Yeah, it's gonna be a delight.
Speaker 2 (41:09):
Thank you for watching, Thank you for listening. Love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (41:14):
What wait?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
I was, what were you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I was gonna ask you? Never mind love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
Well, now you're gonna tell me what you're gonna ask me.
I can just say that what I forgot anyway. I
love you, my sweet babies, and I don't like this one. Bye,
stop it. Don't touch me. You don't get to touch
my boobs up. No you don't. Goodbye, goodbye, love you
(41:45):
bye
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