January 8, 2026 • 36 mins
You might well up too after you see what Laura's sister, Jenny, gave Erik for Christmas. Laura finally presents it to him, and his reaction is precious. Our new sponsor, The Old Globe, is starting off their season strong with Hedda Gabler starring Katie Holmes. That's where Erik drops another one of his truth bombs upon us...another crazy thing we didn't know about him after all these years. Laura delivers a captivating Rando News report including the things America stuck up their butts last year...bad enough to visit the ER. No joke. It's hysterical. Get ready, buckle up, or kick back and relax. You do you, and we hope you have fun listening to this episode.
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Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/laura-cain-after-dark--4162487/support.
SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube Channel, FOLLOW us on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, SHARE, LIKE, and by all means COMMENT. We love your feedback. Thanks for being part of the Laura Cain After Dark family. Love your podcast!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Laura Kane After Dark with Eric remembers of podcast You'll
Dig if you like a genuine and left so big.
Laura's a love of ba lunatic with the vibe so real.
The story is a crazy, the real deal. Eric's the
talent the people with sas He's kind le me get
some kind of crashels are. Claire runs the show a
super plaint nerd always in the note, but guarantee.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
To make you laugh. Plus sure we're late.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Bumble your seat belts and don't be late.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Here we go. Get ready, it'll be great on with
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark, second show of the
new year. Happy twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Everybody, you just you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I almost caught you what you were. You were this
close to creating a yawn, but I saw you sucker
back in.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
No, yes you did.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
You were like, you're like twenty twenty six. Yeah, no, yeah.
Sometimes during the Thursday show I yelled him because he yawns,
and I'm like, if you're at the show, if you're
bored with the show, then everybody else is bored with
this show.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Welcome, Thank you for listening and watching. To Laura Kane
After Dark with Eric Rimmer now on the sign, new logo,
newlas So Special, Oh my Gosh, and new sponsor, Oh
my God. Old Globe The Old Globe Okay, an iconic,
legendary jewel yes of San Diego County, located in Bellbo Park,
(01:33):
of course, and they are kicking off the new season,
the twenty twenty sixth season, with Katie Holmes starring in
headed Gabbler.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, had a Gambler?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Now listen if tickets go on sale tomorrow. If you're
watching this Thursday, they go on sale Friday to the
general public. You're not the general public. Your listeners to
Laura Kane After Dark. What you can get your tickets
right now. Just go to here. I'm gonna give you
the phone number, call and use this code.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Okay, are you ready? The phone number is six one
nine two three four five six two three and then.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Use the code LCAD short for Laura Kane after Dark.
They're going to wave the handling fees. Not only that,
but you get these tickets ahead of time. Apparently this
show is so hot. Uh it's It's directed by Barry
Edelstein who has like the list of the things he's
(02:35):
directed is endless. He is a big deal. He's going
to be on the show with this on Monday. Wait,
their servers oftentimes crash when tickets officially go on sale.
And the fact that Katie Holmes is in this production
in San Diego, and this could be you know a
(02:57):
lot of times shows that start at the Old Globe
end up going to Broadway, and so it's like a
it's like a jump off point. And this is something
you're gonna want to see. And the shows they have
lined up this year, I can't are there's one. I'm
gonna ask this the guy if I can talk about
(03:19):
it next week, I'll say this. It is there's gonna
be a lot of music, and the music is going
to be created by a very popular group. That's all
I'm gonna say. And you're gonna want to get you
know what, you should do yourself a favor forget about
(03:41):
you know, season tickets to the Padres or whatever. You know,
you can do that too, but get season passes to
the Old Globe. You do not want to miss any
of their productions.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
And you can pick and shoes. You can pick and shoes,
you can get packages, but it's it's not your thing
that it might be stuffier way, it is not at all.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I know, like Claire you have they have like three
stages and this one is gonna be on the big stage.
But then they also have like something they do every year.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I'm big into the outdoor stage. In the summers they
do the outdoor Shakespeare. But that's really my thing. You
sit out there and you bring like or they give
you a little blanket and you have like a little
hot chocolate if you're cold, and you watch the Shakespeare.
It's like an intimate venue. The cast is like running
up and down the aisles and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
So fun. Yeah, what a great date night or just
even that would be something that you could even go
by yourself and have like a great time. I mean seriously, So,
Katie Holmes, So Headache. Gabbler is a fictional character, and
she's very manipulative and she's kind of a tragic character
(04:53):
and she's I don't want to give up what goes on,
but this is a one from eighteen ninety who was
one of the first kind of feminists and she challenges
She's married to some like wet blanket kind of dude,
but he's like in the he's like high up in
(05:14):
the military or something, and she she needs excitement in
her life and she does a bunch of crazy things.
And Katie Holmes is going to be exceptional.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
She's going to be great.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I mean, she's a great actress. I mean Dawson's Creek,
Christopher Nolan's Batman begins her Broadway. She's been on Our
Town recently and The Wanderers, So now she's going to
be If you see I think I saw Katie Holmes
it's Starbucks the other day. You didn't because she's in
San Diego and they're rehearsing right now for this production.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You know, she was a client of mine, what m
hmm years ago?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Why this happens with Eric all the time?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Sweetest, nicest person.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I get that. I see her.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And her family's lovely, really, her mom and dad are
so nice. Yeah, she's a lovely, lovely girl.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
And woman crazy that she's gonna be playing such a
a deep like deeply troubled kind of destructive, self destructive
type of all character. And this here, here's the poster.
And when you call LCAD, they're going to wave the
(06:29):
handling fees for you, and you get these tickets early
don't wait until Friday because the servers oftentimes crash like
it's a big deal when the tickets go on sale
for the general public. And so that's the first show
out of the shoot at the Old Globe Theater. They
have a fantastic twenty twenty six, twenty seven season ahead
(06:51):
of us, and there's one show that I'm going to
see if I can talk about next week. And we
have Barry Edelstein in here next week, and they're already
going to be rehearsing, so you can kind of give
us behind the scenes, like a little behind.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
They started this week.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah they did. They started today on the fifth. Yeah,
like I mean I wanted to. They start with like
a table read.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Is that what they do with Probably similar to television.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Probably or maybe not at all.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And then they did theirs. They'll, you know, kind of
work through where they're supposed.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
To go, where they like, Okay, what I'm gonna little
blue tape. This is where you stand where you you know,
I have the gun in your hand and did the tape?
You did? What did you do? What's another thing?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I did?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Thea you were in theater too, you were an actor?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I did? Yeah, I did a couple of plays.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
This happened. Okay, this has happened. We've done this podcast
six years now. Okay, two episodes a week for six
years straight. Eric, like every once in a while will
just drop a little bomb that I've I've no this
man for like nineteen years, and did I know this
(08:05):
about him? No surprise?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Okay, you never talked about theater before?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Were you? What? What? What did you? Okay, give me
one of your roles.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I was the Devil in a play called The Devil
and Daniel Webster.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So you were a main character.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I was, yeah, are you? Are you a good after? Well?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Did you take a lessons? Ever?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
No?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Were you?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Were you?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Was this in high school?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
This was when I was in college.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Was this a college production or was this like a real.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
No, it was a it was downtown.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I can't remember what you had to You had to
audition and get this role. See. I mean either that
either he's like making things up or he's just full
of surprises. This man is like a renaissance man. He
also went to veterinary school. What Yeah, there's all these things.
He was the Blues Brothers movie. There's like all that.
(09:07):
When he was a little boy, I know it's endless.
It's too much, there's anyway.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So I'm also freaking old, so.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
A lot of time to do things.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
A lot of time to do things.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So welcome the Old Globe. Theater can see you, Laura
Kane after dark. Our listeners are your people, and we
are your people, and we cannot wait for this season.
And it's just going to be We're beyond excited.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
And if you like like I like Katie Holmes a lot,
and if there's a really good movie with her, I
own it. I watched it several times and I just
watched it the other night. And it's called Miss Meadows. Oh,
and she plays is like an older one. It's a
couple of years old, and she plays kind of a
(09:56):
prim and proper person about town and she's hiding a
very interesting secret.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
All right, grab your tickets. I'm gonna give you the
number one more time.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Six one nine two three four five six two three
and make sure you say l C A D and
they'll wave the handling fees and then.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You get them early before everybody else and so you're
secured your seat and then and we'll see you there.
I know we get to go because we have now
we we're like, we have media houses because we're important.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Oh my gosh, are.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
You gonna take me? Or are we gonna go together?
Are you going to take somebody else?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We go together?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Not that means he's going to take somebody else. I
know it.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You could be my date. Can we go?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Can we beat the three of us?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Okay, we'll be okay, because I want to see it.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
With you, Okay, all right with you? Date night first.
I want to oh see, she didn't respond to that.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
No, date Night's great, Okay, date night. I love it.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I'm not putting out though.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
This is the old Globe Theater, you know it Bubball
Park then there's since nineteen thirty five. It is an
iconic place. It is it is San Diego. It is
San Diego, and they're so proud of it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Fantastic productions.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Okay, they've got a great team for the holidays. For Christmas,
Claire gave her mom something I forgot, we forgot to
talk about. But I'm stealing this for next year because
it is so damn good. And I'm going to do
the thing you you said when we're I walked you
out to your car. Okay, So please I want to
(11:29):
know how what you did and how it went over.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
So my uh younger sister and I went to one
of those places where you could paint your own pottery
and uh, you know, like when you have a baby,
you like paint their hand and put it on a plate,
and so you're like, look how little they were, Like
two thousand and three, this is Claire's little handprint. We
(11:52):
did that, but just with our adult hands, with our
handprints on it. We put Claire age twenty three, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh my god, that's incredible.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You know what you should do for your mom? It
just put your foot friends, you know the little baby.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You should put your boobs the ornament.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah, the little baby, or like they you know how
they used to bronze the shoes. Yeah, like maybe bronze like.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Sneakers or boots.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
No not sorry, eel, I'm not gonna give my mom
a boom.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Well, you know you want to remember them, they're you know,
this is there. Do you want to remember them now?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Laura? That's like get me.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Did your mom laugh when she think it was hysterical?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
She was, oh my god, that hilarious.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I was down really well, oh my did she hang
it up.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Not yeah, she got to say it home. She's still here.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Okay, okay, so she she better she will. Yeah, that
is too good. That was so clever.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Better get it displayed. I'll check in with my sister.
I'll make sure it gets displayed properly.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's going to be in the kitchen for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Speaking of sister, Yes, my sister has a present for you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Oh, I can't wait. And I and I'm worried because
Jenny and I kind of share the same brain.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
So I'm Jenny is a naughty little Yeah, little red head.
Jenny has read here too. These redheads, my mom's red here,
my brother, my best friend Eric, they all have a
certain something about They're spicy. Spicy, Yes, they're spicy. And
Jenny is especially spicy.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yes she is, but she's a hot little to Molly.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
This is something that I'm just gonna let me go.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Wanted you to open it. Oh she showed it to me,
and I'm like, this needs to okay, So can you
read her right? Writing?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Brother from another mother, sister from another mister. Oh my god,
Oh no, oh read it? Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
This isn't this wonderful?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Okay, I don't want my glasses on.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Okay, I'll read it for you.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Read it. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It's a picture of his mom and this little key
chain thing. Oh and it says a hug from heaven
to remind you I'm here, Jenny. Isn't this beautiful? And
it's the most beautiful picture and you can just hang
out on your little kea ching and have your mama
(14:33):
with you all all time.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
This was taken on Mother's Day and this was the
last year before she got sick. Oh that's really sweet, Jenny. Oh,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
If you want to get something made like that, such
so beautiful. It's a company called Pauw Perfect House. I
don't know if that's the website.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Oh my god, that is so sweet.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I just when I saw it, I was like, Eric
is going to absolutely treasure this.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay on the ladder now, Jenny?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Oh no, is she never too? Bestie?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Jenny? Has I think moved up to the top of
the ladder.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Oh, Jenny, I've never done anything this important for you.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
This was so sweet. This is really really.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Cool and you can take it with you wherever you go.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I'm gonna put it on my key chain, right I
love it. She was so absolutely well.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
She scoured Facebook to find the perfect picture.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Of your mom. I can't believe that she did, Like
you pick, you picked the one picture that you think
he loves the most. Oh my god, I use it.
I do it all the time, whenever I do a
tribute to her or whatever. I'm testing it right now.
You're texting her.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Right now, because you know what a time I said, Hey,
Jenny before we started this show, I'm like, I'm gonna
give Eric the gift, the Christmas gift now on this episode,
So can we call you? And she's like, nah, I did.
My mom and my sister they they they are great
(16:17):
on They're great on the phone. They have great personalities,
but for whatever reason, they just don't mind being on
the air. No, mom never has what you know, My
mom is great on your Jenny's the same way. I go, Jenny, please,
this is an important gift. He's really gonna love it.
It'll be great for the show. I'm your sister. Do
(16:38):
you love me? And she's like, yes, but no, so
she totally turned me down. But anyway, so she was
really excited to get it.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh my god, that is so sweet. Oh my gosh,
Oh my god, Jenny, I love you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
She really finds things like that ever even And it's
so simple and beautiful and it's strong enough where it
won't you won't lose it on your key chain. And
there's your mind.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You need glasses to read the bag of it.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I didn't even bring my glasses with me. Oh my god,
I love it.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I knew you would. All right. Now I have some
random news to share with you. You can play any
kind of music. I don't know, whatever, just play something
so it breaks up the.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh, I'm all right.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Oh I knew you would be. I'm like, Eric's gonna
be like, he's gonna be get emotional.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Now I know your new Year's resolution. Claire.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
How are we?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
How are we going with juggling? Not great? Have we
even played around with the balls?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
No, it's been a while since I've even touched the bass.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
You haven't even it's been a while since you touched
the ball. Have you get the balls out of the sack.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
They're not They're loose.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
The balls are loose somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Let me let me rephrase this, Claire, since Christmas, have
you juggled any balls?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh when it doesn't need to be like plastic balls,
just any balls. What's what, Claire Clatkit, Have you juggled
any balls?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Look who you're talking to? No, that's that's and that's
not one of my New Year's resolutions, by the way,
which it should be to you know, get myself some
but anyway, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That's I have been quite the juggler.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I know. You know you you had a little bit
of a slipt phase, but that's gone. You had like
a week slipt phase and it was like two people. Yeah,
his slept faces last like very short amount of time
and then he like then he's over it. Oh wait,
never mind, Yeah, he gets it, he's over it.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
I remember why I don't do this exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Well, if you did make a New Year's resolution, and
you should, because I was talking to a life coach,
Melissa impet oh yes, for a story we did with Kogo,
and she was like, you know, you you should sort
of make some sort of resolution in in some sort
(19:14):
of way just to get your life on track, some
sort of track, some sort of positive direction, some sort
of something to like look forward to a goal, even
a small thing, and make a deck of cards with
affirmations on them, like to keep you going, like you know,
(19:34):
to pep you up. But anyway, that said, here's how
to make your New Year's resolutions last a little longer
because most people, you know how many you know what
percentage actually go through with it the full year?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Oh oh one.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
According to Forbes magazine, only one percent of people keep
their resolutions for a full year. So why is the
failure rate so hi? It's because people are vague. You're
too vague about what you want to do, or it's
too broad. I want to start working, I'm gonna work
out more. That's too vague, and then you end up
(20:15):
not doing it, and then you think you failed, and
then you feel bad about yourself and then it's like,
so be you got to be more specific. But they
hear some strategies to keep if you have your resolution
still on track to keep growing, lower your standards. Be specific.
Don't you say I want to get fit? Say well,
I'm going to walk for ten minutes Uh huh after
(20:37):
work every day. Think small and that will win.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Tie habits to routines, not your motivation. So after you
start the coffee, while the coffee's brewing, do five squats.
Your mood is unreliable, coffee is not. It says, plan
for things to go wrong. If you don't have time,
just do a two minute version of the forty five
(21:04):
minute version that you normally would be doing. Just do
a little bit of it so you're not completely letting
it go, or try to make up for it later.
Track your progress and may bring somebody in, Like say,
like for me, if I wanted to say, Eric, I'm
going to start I'm going to go to yoga twice
(21:24):
a week in twenty twenty six, and then I tell you.
So when I do go to yoga and the week
has passed and I did it twice, I can say,
guess what, Eric, I did yoga twice this week. So
I'm kind of being held accountable and there's somebody else
that knows my resolution, So.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Me responding with no, you didn't, but it would not
be a good vi.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You're totally lying. What tell me the truth?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You laying on the couch and arching your back is
not doing downward dog.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
And finally, if you're making like a resolution that's a
big life change, like try a small experiment before you
like go all in, because that usually tends to fail
if you do something super huge, like a big giant pivot.
All right, now, someone went to great lengths to get
(22:21):
this list together, and it's the top things we got
stuck off our butts in twenty twenty five. Oh wow,
This writer at our website called defector dot com went
through the government's official database of ers across the country
(22:41):
and scoured this list and found the funniest things we
got stuck insider butts.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Oh this seriously, this is free. Okay, these are real er?
Can we can we as a collective group take a
guess at some of the things.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Well, there are fifty, but there's fifty not on here,
there's twenty on here? Are we did the twenty but
but these are the highlights? Okay, okay, you want to
go ahead and take I guess I wanted to say.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It like a pickle, like there's got.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's no pickle, not pickle on the list. No, but
an egg, Oh there's an egg on here, hard boiled
or I don't know, I would guess yes, yes, light
bulb's on here, light bulbs on here?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh my god, that's umber thirteen up your bottle?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Uh, shampoo bottle Okay, the guy claimed he slipped in
the shower. That's what they always Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Anymore, let's see dildo.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Well no, not not sex to it's not going to
make the list. No, that's like that's supposed to be
up your butt.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Right, I mean, not if you're going to be something's
gone wrong.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
But yes, yes, it's true. Something's horribly rolling pin not
a rolling pin, a rolling pin anymore? A rolling pin.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I have a rolling pin. But then again you're ancient. Okay, no,
thank you for bringing it to everybody's a dead chat. Okay,
here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Ready, he's had time to do many things I have.
There are twenty on this list, and here we go.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
A turkey based oh my god, a.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Wine stopper, a shampoo bottle, nails and screws. What, no,
hold on nails and screws, a highlighter. That's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Now a baseball, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
The guy said he just wanted to see what it
felt like.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Okay, let me tell you something out right now. If
somebody has an asshole that's that cavernous that a baseball
can go in it, I'm sorry, you want to know
what it feels like.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
That's going to cause some problems.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I am sure you've already in there. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Pair of flyers, oh my, oh my, A bunch of marbles,
a coat hanger, hold on, a penny, a sandal, a
door knob, a sandal. I'm not making this up. This
(25:20):
guy roll it up. Yeah, you probably had to roll up.
Maybe it's like a rubber one, and you rolled it
up and stuck it up. A vape pen Oh.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Talk about a smoking ass.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Not one, but two pencils. A corn cob pipe. Somebody
took that off of their little frosty the snowman decorations,
stuck it up their butt. Where else would you get
a corn cob pipe?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
A rock?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
A rock? A rock?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
How big was the rock?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I doesn't say. An egg, a nose hair trimmer. Uh,
probably to trim their butt hair, and it got stuck
up there, right. And finally, well, and I'll read some
other honorable mentions. A bunch of uncooked pasta.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Oh, I pray to God that they did not serve
to anybody that egg or the pasta. Of course they
didn't to anybody.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
The ones the women's list includes, because this isn't just men,
it's women too. Cotton balls.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Wait, hold on, is it in the same orifice.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
But in the butt. Yeah, okay, a small plastic mermaid cute, okay,
little mermaid butt plug? And what's it's two spoons? One
wasn't enough.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
No, the moment where they put one started with one
and they.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Said, wait, hey, maybe you know how they put another
one in here?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I know how they have musicians that play the spoons.
Maybe she just thou sound like that.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
A bunch of aluminum foil, oh gross, sharp, and finally,
a tide pod. I'm just sticking.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I hate to tell her that that's not how you
do your laundry, sweetheart.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
The men's list includes a chest piece, some apple stems,
an apple wore, a paper clip. Why bother with just
that tiny thing? If you're going to stick something of
your butt, make it bigger than that.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Just like those are those sharp?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Some magnets, oh my god, and alan wrench, a guitar string,
Oh my god. And a pair of headphones.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Wait a minute, hold on, yeah, I'm thinking maybe air pods,
maybe that maybe maybe we're talking about No.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I'm sorry, all right, so there's that gross.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Now okay, wait a minute. That on that note.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I'm gonna beat.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
This really quick. This was years ago. I was doing
security for see here's another thing he was doing security for.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Did I know your security.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Guard for Katie Holmes?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
What?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I was up there doing security for her that weekend
and we had a break, so a bunch of the
security guards we went to lunch and across the street
was an adult bookstore and we went in. There had
been some drinking. I was, I think, one of the
only sober ones at some of them were drinking. We
(28:42):
went over and on the floor.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
And I said, now, her security team was all like whacked.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Out, not me, I was.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Not.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I was good. So Katie, you were in good hands.
We went over there and on the floor was it
was the size I am not kidding you of a
fire hydrant, and was rubber black, and it was in tears,
in like three tears. I will never forget this as
long as I live. And I said to the guy
behind the counter, what is that? And he said, oh,
(29:15):
it's a butt plug And I said, I what And
he goes like I was asking him what's on the
menu at a restaurant. And he goes, oh, yeah, it
comes with a wall mount too, and I'm all, I'm sorry.
It took two of us to pick it up. It
was so heavy, and I'm like, I would, first of all,
if I fasten that to my wall, pull all the
(29:38):
dry wall out, I said, I I would not want
to meet the person that would be able to accommodate
that thing. It was humongous. And he goes, oh, you'd
be surprised how popular it is, and I'm all, oh
my god, that's when everything inside of you just falls out.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It has to like there's no spring.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I mean, like, I can't even imagine anything. It's a muscle,
but I can't imagine anything is bringing back from that
kind of punishment.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Okay, so there's there is a university, the Lake Superior
State University.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
They have an annual list of words that need to
be banished in twenty twenty six, and here is their list.
These are the words they think we should stop using
in twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Can I say one yes and please be on there? Okay, yeah,
please tell me it's.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
That why aaaaaa ssss no.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Where people go?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Queen?
Speaker 3 (30:36):
Oh please no, I like that still, please make it stop, Claire.
What's the number one? One?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh, I've seen this list before. It's six seven?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Thank you? Yes, whatever, we still don't. It's still vague
afbout what the exact meaning of it, unless Claire.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
The point of it is that it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
And that kids use it just to yeah, mess with
their inside. Okay, yeah, so they say that's the number one.
It just needs to be eighty six. Do you know
what that means?
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yeah, it's like you're at a restaurant. You're out of it.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I still like that.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I like you're eighty six. I want to cancel.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love eighty six.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
But anyway, if Laura had eighty six means she would.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I don't know why this is on there because I
don't feel like it's been overused. But demure, oh yeah, thoughts.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Demure is like a slang people say, but yes, but
it's it's been a slang word.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
How is it used this year? How was it used
this video?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
That there's a video that when I was a girl
being like see how I something something very demure?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Very cute? Wasn't it the name of a song like a.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
It was just used too much on social media.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Too much on overused on social media.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Cooked like I'm cooked I'm exhausted.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Chat, are we cooked?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I don't. I don't think I'm neutral uncooked. Massive It
could mean big, but kids use it for meaning like awesome,
Like dude, that lasagna was massive, Okay, I've never heard I.
I don't think that's a I don't know. Incentivize Okay,
(32:19):
I don't know. They say it's instead of using motivate
or encourage. They think that we should start using those
words more than incentivize whatever, full stop, I don't think
instead of They also bound the word period last year,
like you know how people used to say okay, period,
(32:40):
so now it's full stop. I don't know. I've never
used that. Perfect what they think we should stop using
it to mean good or great?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I hate it when people like this perfect.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
There are fewest system of perfect actually applies because what
is actually perfect? Me?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
What to do?
Speaker 3 (32:56):
The Lake Superior State University.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I don't care about that.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Gifted when you used as a verb like I gifted
them a candle? No, you gave them a candle?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Sure, my bad?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Oh? I hate that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Didn't that go away?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Was?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Does that of even use this year? I mean that
was like that's been used for like ten years and
reach out reach out like, hey, I don't know whatever, stupid.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Reach out to me whenever you feel.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
And finally, if you are over your job and you're
thinking you want a life change, maybe your job pays
too little. Here are jobs that play extremely well but
people don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Okay, I'm gonna say it's like a trash person on there.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
This will make sense.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Septic tank installation and repair, that's number one. Yeah, Nuclear
station security guards, anything having to do with nuclear anything
is high paying because they in your aspects.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You know what, My resting pitch face would probably work
really well for that.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
To be a security guard at a nuke plant because
nobody would want to approach me. No, but you'd be
like fried from the inside out from all the rays
coming out in that land surveying. That is high paying.
Elevator technician okay. Casino dealers, they made a shiploaded and tips. See,
(34:30):
I don't know how to play anything, like I don't know.
I don't know the proper rules of like poker or anything.
If slot machines had a had an attendant, I'd be
good at that. Tennis coaches, especially if you have like
a fancy client, they make way more money than you
think they do fiber optic cable splicing. It's not backbreaking work.
(34:55):
It's easy, but you have to have lots of patience.
Apparently certified wastewater treatment operator. There we go. Anybody that
works in any kind of sewer, any kind of tunnel,
any kind of pipe, you deserve to make a lot
of money. No electric pole climber, aircraft mechanic. And somebody
(35:20):
that was on this thread said, I used to shoot
birds at the airport so they don't get stuck in
the engines. You know, if you see any birds on
the on the tarmac or whatever. Give you made one
hundred and sixty thousand dollars a year. Oh my god,
that crazy. Anyway, So there's that, and that's that, and
(35:42):
that's that, and there's that.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I love him and I love you, Jenny, thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh I know I need you love your beautiful present.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I do.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And we will be back on Monday with the artistic
director from the Old Globes production of Head Gatler. I
can't even wait to talk to him, Barry Edelstein.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
He's gonna be I can't wait to see you very.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
And so we'll be back on Monday live and uh
let's go six, Let's go Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I love you, my sweet babies. Bye. Thank you for
watching and listening.
Laura Kane After Dark with Eric remembers of podcast You'll
Dig if you like a genuine and left so big.
Laura's a love of ba lunatic with the vibe so real.
The story is a crazy, the real deal. Eric's the
talent the people with sas He's kind le me get
some kind of crashels are. Claire runs the show a
super plaint nerd always in the note, but guarantee.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
To make you laugh. Plus sure we're late.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Bumble your seat belts and don't be late.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Here we go. Get ready, it'll be great on with
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Welcome to Laura Kane after Dark, second show of the
new year. Happy twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Everybody, you just you.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
I almost caught you what you were. You were this
close to creating a yawn, but I saw you sucker
back in.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
No, yes you did.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
You were like, you're like twenty twenty six. Yeah, no, yeah.
Sometimes during the Thursday show I yelled him because he yawns,
and I'm like, if you're at the show, if you're
bored with the show, then everybody else is bored with
this show.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Anyway.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Welcome, Thank you for listening and watching. To Laura Kane
After Dark with Eric Rimmer now on the sign, new logo,
newlas So Special, Oh my Gosh, and new sponsor, Oh
my God. Old Globe The Old Globe Okay, an iconic,
legendary jewel yes of San Diego County, located in Bellbo Park,
(01:33):
of course, and they are kicking off the new season,
the twenty twenty sixth season, with Katie Holmes starring in
headed Gabbler.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, had a Gambler?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Now listen if tickets go on sale tomorrow. If you're
watching this Thursday, they go on sale Friday to the
general public. You're not the general public. Your listeners to
Laura Kane After Dark. What you can get your tickets
right now. Just go to here. I'm gonna give you
the phone number, call and use this code.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Okay, are you ready? The phone number is six one
nine two three four five six two three and then.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Use the code LCAD short for Laura Kane after Dark.
They're going to wave the handling fees. Not only that,
but you get these tickets ahead of time. Apparently this
show is so hot. Uh it's It's directed by Barry
Edelstein who has like the list of the things he's
(02:35):
directed is endless. He is a big deal. He's going
to be on the show with this on Monday. Wait,
their servers oftentimes crash when tickets officially go on sale.
And the fact that Katie Holmes is in this production
in San Diego, and this could be you know a
(02:57):
lot of times shows that start at the Old Globe
end up going to Broadway, and so it's like a
it's like a jump off point. And this is something
you're gonna want to see. And the shows they have
lined up this year, I can't are there's one. I'm
gonna ask this the guy if I can talk about
(03:19):
it next week, I'll say this. It is there's gonna
be a lot of music, and the music is going
to be created by a very popular group. That's all
I'm gonna say. And you're gonna want to get you
know what, you should do yourself a favor forget about
(03:41):
you know, season tickets to the Padres or whatever. You know,
you can do that too, but get season passes to
the Old Globe. You do not want to miss any
of their productions.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
And you can pick and shoes. You can pick and shoes,
you can get packages, but it's it's not your thing
that it might be stuffier way, it is not at all.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
I know, like Claire you have they have like three
stages and this one is gonna be on the big stage.
But then they also have like something they do every year.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
I'm big into the outdoor stage. In the summers they
do the outdoor Shakespeare. But that's really my thing. You
sit out there and you bring like or they give
you a little blanket and you have like a little
hot chocolate if you're cold, and you watch the Shakespeare.
It's like an intimate venue. The cast is like running
up and down the aisles and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
So fun. Yeah, what a great date night or just
even that would be something that you could even go
by yourself and have like a great time. I mean seriously, So,
Katie Holmes, So Headache. Gabbler is a fictional character, and
she's very manipulative and she's kind of a tragic character
(04:53):
and she's I don't want to give up what goes on,
but this is a one from eighteen ninety who was
one of the first kind of feminists and she challenges
She's married to some like wet blanket kind of dude,
but he's like in the he's like high up in
(05:14):
the military or something, and she she needs excitement in
her life and she does a bunch of crazy things.
And Katie Holmes is going to be exceptional.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
She's going to be great.
Speaker 3 (05:25):
I mean, she's a great actress. I mean Dawson's Creek,
Christopher Nolan's Batman begins her Broadway. She's been on Our
Town recently and The Wanderers, So now she's going to
be If you see I think I saw Katie Holmes
it's Starbucks the other day. You didn't because she's in
San Diego and they're rehearsing right now for this production.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
You know, she was a client of mine, what m
hmm years ago?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
Why this happens with Eric all the time?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Sweetest, nicest person.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
I get that. I see her.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And her family's lovely, really, her mom and dad are
so nice. Yeah, she's a lovely, lovely girl.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
And woman crazy that she's gonna be playing such a
a deep like deeply troubled kind of destructive, self destructive
type of all character. And this here, here's the poster.
And when you call LCAD, they're going to wave the
(06:29):
handling fees for you, and you get these tickets early
don't wait until Friday because the servers oftentimes crash like
it's a big deal when the tickets go on sale
for the general public. And so that's the first show
out of the shoot at the Old Globe Theater. They
have a fantastic twenty twenty six, twenty seven season ahead
(06:51):
of us, and there's one show that I'm going to
see if I can talk about next week. And we
have Barry Edelstein in here next week, and they're already
going to be rehearsing, so you can kind of give
us behind the scenes, like a little behind.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
They started this week.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah they did. They started today on the fifth. Yeah,
like I mean I wanted to. They start with like
a table read.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Is that what they do with Probably similar to television.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
Probably or maybe not at all.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And then they did theirs. They'll, you know, kind of
work through where they're supposed.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
To go, where they like, Okay, what I'm gonna little
blue tape. This is where you stand where you you know,
I have the gun in your hand and did the tape?
You did? What did you do? What's another thing?
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I did?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Thea you were in theater too, you were an actor?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
I did? Yeah, I did a couple of plays.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
This happened. Okay, this has happened. We've done this podcast
six years now. Okay, two episodes a week for six
years straight. Eric, like every once in a while will
just drop a little bomb that I've I've no this
man for like nineteen years, and did I know this
(08:05):
about him? No surprise?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Okay, you never talked about theater before?
Speaker 3 (08:10):
Were you? What? What? What did you? Okay, give me
one of your roles.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
I was the Devil in a play called The Devil
and Daniel Webster.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
So you were a main character.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
I was, yeah, are you? Are you a good after? Well?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Did you take a lessons? Ever?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
No?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Were you?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Were you?
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Was this in high school?
Speaker 1 (08:34):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
This was when I was in college.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Was this a college production or was this like a real.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
No, it was a it was downtown.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I can't remember what you had to You had to
audition and get this role. See. I mean either that
either he's like making things up or he's just full
of surprises. This man is like a renaissance man. He
also went to veterinary school. What Yeah, there's all these things.
He was the Blues Brothers movie. There's like all that.
(09:07):
When he was a little boy, I know it's endless.
It's too much, there's anyway.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So I'm also freaking old, so.
Speaker 4 (09:17):
A lot of time to do things.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
A lot of time to do things.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So welcome the Old Globe. Theater can see you, Laura
Kane after dark. Our listeners are your people, and we
are your people, and we cannot wait for this season.
And it's just going to be We're beyond excited.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
And if you like like I like Katie Holmes a lot,
and if there's a really good movie with her, I
own it. I watched it several times and I just
watched it the other night. And it's called Miss Meadows. Oh,
and she plays is like an older one. It's a
couple of years old, and she plays kind of a
(09:56):
prim and proper person about town and she's hiding a
very interesting secret.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
All right, grab your tickets. I'm gonna give you the
number one more time.
Speaker 2 (10:09):
Six one nine two three four five six two three
and make sure you say l C A D and
they'll wave the handling fees and then.
Speaker 3 (10:17):
You get them early before everybody else and so you're
secured your seat and then and we'll see you there.
I know we get to go because we have now
we we're like, we have media houses because we're important.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Oh my gosh, are.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
You gonna take me? Or are we gonna go together?
Are you going to take somebody else?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
We go together?
Speaker 3 (10:33):
Not that means he's going to take somebody else. I
know it.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
You could be my date. Can we go?
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Can we beat the three of us?
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:42):
Okay, we'll be okay, because I want to see it.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
With you, Okay, all right with you? Date night first.
I want to oh see, she didn't respond to that.
Speaker 3 (10:51):
No, date Night's great, Okay, date night. I love it.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I'm not putting out though.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
This is the old Globe Theater, you know it Bubball
Park then there's since nineteen thirty five. It is an
iconic place. It is it is San Diego. It is
San Diego, and they're so proud of it.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Fantastic productions.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
Okay, they've got a great team for the holidays. For Christmas,
Claire gave her mom something I forgot, we forgot to
talk about. But I'm stealing this for next year because
it is so damn good. And I'm going to do
the thing you you said when we're I walked you
out to your car. Okay, So please I want to
(11:29):
know how what you did and how it went over.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
So my uh younger sister and I went to one
of those places where you could paint your own pottery
and uh, you know, like when you have a baby,
you like paint their hand and put it on a plate,
and so you're like, look how little they were, Like
two thousand and three, this is Claire's little handprint. We
(11:52):
did that, but just with our adult hands, with our
handprints on it. We put Claire age twenty three, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh my god, that's incredible.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
You know what you should do for your mom? It
just put your foot friends, you know the little baby.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
You should put your boobs the ornament.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah, the little baby, or like they you know how
they used to bronze the shoes. Yeah, like maybe bronze like.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Sneakers or boots.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
No not sorry, eel, I'm not gonna give my mom
a boom.
Speaker 4 (12:27):
Well, you know you want to remember them, they're you know,
this is there. Do you want to remember them now?
Speaker 3 (12:32):
Right?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Laura? That's like get me.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Did your mom laugh when she think it was hysterical?
Speaker 2 (12:37):
She was, oh my god, that hilarious.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
I was down really well, oh my did she hang
it up.
Speaker 4 (12:44):
Not yeah, she got to say it home. She's still here.
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Okay, okay, so she she better she will. Yeah, that
is too good. That was so clever.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
Better get it displayed. I'll check in with my sister.
I'll make sure it gets displayed properly.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
That's going to be in the kitchen for sure.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
Speaking of sister, Yes, my sister has a present for you.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Oh, I can't wait. And I and I'm worried because
Jenny and I kind of share the same brain.
Speaker 3 (13:10):
So I'm Jenny is a naughty little Yeah, little red head.
Jenny has read here too. These redheads, my mom's red here,
my brother, my best friend Eric, they all have a
certain something about They're spicy. Spicy, Yes, they're spicy. And
Jenny is especially spicy.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Yes she is, but she's a hot little to Molly.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
This is something that I'm just gonna let me go.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
Wanted you to open it. Oh she showed it to me,
and I'm like, this needs to okay, So can you
read her right? Writing?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Brother from another mother, sister from another mister. Oh my god,
Oh no, oh read it? Oh my god?
Speaker 3 (14:03):
This isn't this wonderful?
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Okay, I don't want my glasses on.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Okay, I'll read it for you.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Read it. Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
It's a picture of his mom and this little key
chain thing. Oh and it says a hug from heaven
to remind you I'm here, Jenny. Isn't this beautiful? And
it's the most beautiful picture and you can just hang
out on your little kea ching and have your mama
(14:33):
with you all all time.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
This was taken on Mother's Day and this was the
last year before she got sick. Oh that's really sweet, Jenny. Oh,
thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
If you want to get something made like that, such
so beautiful. It's a company called Pauw Perfect House. I
don't know if that's the website.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Oh my god, that is so sweet.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
I just when I saw it, I was like, Eric
is going to absolutely treasure this.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Okay on the ladder now, Jenny?
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Oh no, is she never too? Bestie?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Jenny? Has I think moved up to the top of
the ladder.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Oh, Jenny, I've never done anything this important for you.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
This was so sweet. This is really really.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
Cool and you can take it with you wherever you go.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
I'm gonna put it on my key chain, right I
love it. She was so absolutely well.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
She scoured Facebook to find the perfect picture.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Of your mom. I can't believe that she did, Like
you pick, you picked the one picture that you think
he loves the most. Oh my god, I use it.
I do it all the time, whenever I do a
tribute to her or whatever. I'm testing it right now.
You're texting her.
Speaker 3 (15:57):
Right now, because you know what a time I said, Hey,
Jenny before we started this show, I'm like, I'm gonna
give Eric the gift, the Christmas gift now on this episode,
So can we call you? And she's like, nah, I did.
My mom and my sister they they they are great
(16:17):
on They're great on the phone. They have great personalities,
but for whatever reason, they just don't mind being on
the air. No, mom never has what you know, My
mom is great on your Jenny's the same way. I go, Jenny, please,
this is an important gift. He's really gonna love it.
It'll be great for the show. I'm your sister. Do
(16:38):
you love me? And she's like, yes, but no, so
she totally turned me down. But anyway, so she was
really excited to get it.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
Oh my god, that is so sweet. Oh my gosh,
Oh my god, Jenny, I love you. Thank you.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
She really finds things like that ever even And it's
so simple and beautiful and it's strong enough where it
won't you won't lose it on your key chain. And
there's your mind.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I love this.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
You need glasses to read the bag of it.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
I didn't even bring my glasses with me. Oh my god,
I love it.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I knew you would. All right. Now I have some
random news to share with you. You can play any
kind of music. I don't know, whatever, just play something
so it breaks up the.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Oh, I'm all right.
Speaker 3 (17:33):
Oh I knew you would be. I'm like, Eric's gonna
be like, he's gonna be get emotional.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (17:41):
Now I know your new Year's resolution. Claire.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
How are we?
Speaker 3 (17:47):
How are we going with juggling? Not great? Have we
even played around with the balls?
Speaker 4 (17:53):
No, it's been a while since I've even touched the bass.
Speaker 3 (17:57):
You haven't even it's been a while since you touched
the ball. Have you get the balls out of the sack.
Speaker 4 (18:01):
They're not They're loose.
Speaker 3 (18:02):
The balls are loose somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Let me let me rephrase this, Claire, since Christmas, have
you juggled any balls?
Speaker 3 (18:11):
Nope.
Speaker 2 (18:12):
Oh when it doesn't need to be like plastic balls,
just any balls. What's what, Claire Clatkit, Have you juggled
any balls?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
Look who you're talking to? No, that's that's and that's
not one of my New Year's resolutions, by the way,
which it should be to you know, get myself some
but anyway, whatever.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
That's I have been quite the juggler.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
I know. You know you you had a little bit
of a slipt phase, but that's gone. You had like
a week slipt phase and it was like two people. Yeah,
his slept faces last like very short amount of time
and then he like then he's over it. Oh wait,
never mind, Yeah, he gets it, he's over it.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
I remember why I don't do this exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Well, if you did make a New Year's resolution, and
you should, because I was talking to a life coach,
Melissa impet oh yes, for a story we did with Kogo,
and she was like, you know, you you should sort
of make some sort of resolution in in some sort
(19:14):
of way just to get your life on track, some
sort of track, some sort of positive direction, some sort
of something to like look forward to a goal, even
a small thing, and make a deck of cards with
affirmations on them, like to keep you going, like you know,
(19:34):
to pep you up. But anyway, that said, here's how
to make your New Year's resolutions last a little longer
because most people, you know how many you know what
percentage actually go through with it the full year?
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Oh oh one.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
According to Forbes magazine, only one percent of people keep
their resolutions for a full year. So why is the
failure rate so hi? It's because people are vague. You're
too vague about what you want to do, or it's
too broad. I want to start working, I'm gonna work
out more. That's too vague, and then you end up
(20:15):
not doing it, and then you think you failed, and
then you feel bad about yourself and then it's like,
so be you got to be more specific. But they
hear some strategies to keep if you have your resolution
still on track to keep growing, lower your standards. Be specific.
Don't you say I want to get fit? Say well,
I'm going to walk for ten minutes Uh huh after
(20:37):
work every day. Think small and that will win.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Tie habits to routines, not your motivation. So after you
start the coffee, while the coffee's brewing, do five squats.
Your mood is unreliable, coffee is not. It says, plan
for things to go wrong. If you don't have time,
just do a two minute version of the forty five
(21:04):
minute version that you normally would be doing. Just do
a little bit of it so you're not completely letting
it go, or try to make up for it later.
Track your progress and may bring somebody in, Like say,
like for me, if I wanted to say, Eric, I'm
going to start I'm going to go to yoga twice
(21:24):
a week in twenty twenty six, and then I tell you.
So when I do go to yoga and the week
has passed and I did it twice, I can say,
guess what, Eric, I did yoga twice this week. So
I'm kind of being held accountable and there's somebody else
that knows my resolution, So.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Me responding with no, you didn't, but it would not
be a good vi.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
You're totally lying. What tell me the truth?
Speaker 2 (21:51):
You laying on the couch and arching your back is
not doing downward dog.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
And finally, if you're making like a resolution that's a
big life change, like try a small experiment before you
like go all in, because that usually tends to fail
if you do something super huge, like a big giant pivot.
All right, now, someone went to great lengths to get
(22:21):
this list together, and it's the top things we got
stuck off our butts in twenty twenty five. Oh wow,
This writer at our website called defector dot com went
through the government's official database of ers across the country
(22:41):
and scoured this list and found the funniest things we
got stuck insider butts.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Oh this seriously, this is free. Okay, these are real er?
Can we can we as a collective group take a
guess at some of the things.
Speaker 3 (22:59):
Well, there are fifty, but there's fifty not on here,
there's twenty on here? Are we did the twenty but
but these are the highlights? Okay, okay, you want to
go ahead and take I guess I wanted to say.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
It like a pickle, like there's got.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's no pickle, not pickle on the list. No, but
an egg, Oh there's an egg on here, hard boiled
or I don't know, I would guess yes, yes, light
bulb's on here, light bulbs on here?
Speaker 2 (23:27):
Oh my god, that's umber thirteen up your bottle?
Speaker 3 (23:30):
Uh, shampoo bottle Okay, the guy claimed he slipped in
the shower. That's what they always Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Anymore, let's see dildo.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Well no, not not sex to it's not going to
make the list. No, that's like that's supposed to be
up your butt.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Right, I mean, not if you're going to be something's
gone wrong.
Speaker 3 (23:48):
But yes, yes, it's true. Something's horribly rolling pin not
a rolling pin, a rolling pin anymore? A rolling pin.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I have a rolling pin. But then again you're ancient. Okay, no,
thank you for bringing it to everybody's a dead chat. Okay,
here we go.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Ready, he's had time to do many things I have.
There are twenty on this list, and here we go.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
A turkey based oh my god, a.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Wine stopper, a shampoo bottle, nails and screws. What, no,
hold on nails and screws, a highlighter. That's fine.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Now a baseball, Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
The guy said he just wanted to see what it
felt like.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Okay, let me tell you something out right now. If
somebody has an asshole that's that cavernous that a baseball
can go in it, I'm sorry, you want to know
what it feels like.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
That's going to cause some problems.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
I am sure you've already in there. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Pair of flyers, oh my, oh my, A bunch of marbles,
a coat hanger, hold on, a penny, a sandal, a
door knob, a sandal. I'm not making this up. This
(25:20):
guy roll it up. Yeah, you probably had to roll up.
Maybe it's like a rubber one, and you rolled it
up and stuck it up. A vape pen Oh.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Talk about a smoking ass.
Speaker 3 (25:36):
Not one, but two pencils. A corn cob pipe. Somebody
took that off of their little frosty the snowman decorations,
stuck it up their butt. Where else would you get
a corn cob pipe?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
A rock?
Speaker 3 (25:54):
A rock? A rock?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
How big was the rock?
Speaker 3 (25:57):
I doesn't say. An egg, a nose hair trimmer. Uh,
probably to trim their butt hair, and it got stuck
up there, right. And finally, well, and I'll read some
other honorable mentions. A bunch of uncooked pasta.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Oh, I pray to God that they did not serve
to anybody that egg or the pasta. Of course they
didn't to anybody.
Speaker 3 (26:26):
The ones the women's list includes, because this isn't just men,
it's women too. Cotton balls.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
Wait, hold on, is it in the same orifice.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
But in the butt. Yeah, okay, a small plastic mermaid cute, okay,
little mermaid butt plug? And what's it's two spoons? One
wasn't enough.
Speaker 4 (26:50):
No, the moment where they put one started with one
and they.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Said, wait, hey, maybe you know how they put another
one in here?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I know how they have musicians that play the spoons.
Maybe she just thou sound like that.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
A bunch of aluminum foil, oh gross, sharp, and finally,
a tide pod. I'm just sticking.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
I hate to tell her that that's not how you
do your laundry, sweetheart.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
The men's list includes a chest piece, some apple stems,
an apple wore, a paper clip. Why bother with just
that tiny thing? If you're going to stick something of
your butt, make it bigger than that.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Just like those are those sharp?
Speaker 3 (27:36):
Some magnets, oh my god, and alan wrench, a guitar string,
Oh my god. And a pair of headphones.
Speaker 5 (27:48):
Wait a minute, hold on, yeah, I'm thinking maybe air pods,
maybe that maybe maybe we're talking about No.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
I'm sorry, all right, so there's that gross.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Now okay, wait a minute. That on that note.
Speaker 3 (28:07):
I'm gonna beat.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
This really quick. This was years ago. I was doing
security for see here's another thing he was doing security for.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Did I know your security.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Guard for Katie Holmes?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
What?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
I was up there doing security for her that weekend
and we had a break, so a bunch of the
security guards we went to lunch and across the street
was an adult bookstore and we went in. There had
been some drinking. I was, I think, one of the
only sober ones at some of them were drinking. We
(28:42):
went over and on the floor.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
And I said, now, her security team was all like whacked.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Out, not me, I was.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
Not.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I was good. So Katie, you were in good hands.
We went over there and on the floor was it
was the size I am not kidding you of a
fire hydrant, and was rubber black, and it was in tears,
in like three tears. I will never forget this as
long as I live. And I said to the guy
behind the counter, what is that? And he said, oh,
(29:15):
it's a butt plug And I said, I what And
he goes like I was asking him what's on the
menu at a restaurant. And he goes, oh, yeah, it
comes with a wall mount too, and I'm all, I'm sorry.
It took two of us to pick it up. It
was so heavy, and I'm like, I would, first of all,
if I fasten that to my wall, pull all the
(29:38):
dry wall out, I said, I I would not want
to meet the person that would be able to accommodate
that thing. It was humongous. And he goes, oh, you'd
be surprised how popular it is, and I'm all, oh
my god, that's when everything inside of you just falls out.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
It has to like there's no spring.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I mean, like, I can't even imagine anything. It's a muscle,
but I can't imagine anything is bringing back from that
kind of punishment.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
Okay, so there's there is a university, the Lake Superior
State University.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
They have an annual list of words that need to
be banished in twenty twenty six, and here is their list.
These are the words they think we should stop using
in twenty twenty six.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Can I say one yes and please be on there? Okay, yeah,
please tell me it's.
Speaker 3 (30:30):
That why aaaaaa ssss no.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Where people go?
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Queen?
Speaker 3 (30:36):
Oh please no, I like that still, please make it stop, Claire.
What's the number one? One?
Speaker 4 (30:43):
Oh, I've seen this list before. It's six seven?
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Thank you? Yes, whatever, we still don't. It's still vague
afbout what the exact meaning of it, unless Claire.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
The point of it is that it doesn't mean anything.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
And that kids use it just to yeah, mess with
their inside. Okay, yeah, so they say that's the number one.
It just needs to be eighty six. Do you know
what that means?
Speaker 4 (31:08):
Yeah, it's like you're at a restaurant. You're out of it.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I still like that.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
I like you're eighty six. I want to cancel.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I love eighty six.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
But anyway, if Laura had eighty six means she would.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
I don't know why this is on there because I
don't feel like it's been overused. But demure, oh yeah, thoughts.
Speaker 4 (31:26):
Demure is like a slang people say, but yes, but
it's it's been a slang word.
Speaker 3 (31:32):
How is it used this year? How was it used
this video?
Speaker 4 (31:35):
That there's a video that when I was a girl
being like see how I something something very demure?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Very cute? Wasn't it the name of a song like a.
Speaker 3 (31:46):
It was just used too much on social media.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
Too much on overused on social media.
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Cooked like I'm cooked I'm exhausted.
Speaker 4 (31:55):
Chat, are we cooked?
Speaker 3 (31:59):
I don't. I don't think I'm neutral uncooked. Massive It
could mean big, but kids use it for meaning like awesome,
Like dude, that lasagna was massive, Okay, I've never heard I.
I don't think that's a I don't know. Incentivize Okay,
(32:19):
I don't know. They say it's instead of using motivate
or encourage. They think that we should start using those
words more than incentivize whatever, full stop, I don't think
instead of They also bound the word period last year,
like you know how people used to say okay, period,
(32:40):
so now it's full stop. I don't know. I've never
used that. Perfect what they think we should stop using
it to mean good or great?
Speaker 2 (32:47):
I hate it when people like this perfect.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
There are fewest system of perfect actually applies because what
is actually perfect? Me?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
What to do?
Speaker 3 (32:56):
The Lake Superior State University.
Speaker 4 (32:57):
I don't care about that.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
Gifted when you used as a verb like I gifted
them a candle? No, you gave them a candle?
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (33:05):
Sure, my bad?
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Oh? I hate that.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
Didn't that go away?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Was?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
Does that of even use this year? I mean that
was like that's been used for like ten years and
reach out reach out like, hey, I don't know whatever, stupid.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Reach out to me whenever you feel.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
And finally, if you are over your job and you're
thinking you want a life change, maybe your job pays
too little. Here are jobs that play extremely well but
people don't know.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Okay, I'm gonna say it's like a trash person on there.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
This will make sense.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (33:46):
Septic tank installation and repair, that's number one. Yeah, Nuclear
station security guards, anything having to do with nuclear anything
is high paying because they in your aspects.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You know what, My resting pitch face would probably work
really well for that.
Speaker 3 (34:05):
To be a security guard at a nuke plant because
nobody would want to approach me. No, but you'd be
like fried from the inside out from all the rays
coming out in that land surveying. That is high paying.
Elevator technician okay. Casino dealers, they made a shiploaded and tips. See,
(34:30):
I don't know how to play anything, like I don't know.
I don't know the proper rules of like poker or anything.
If slot machines had a had an attendant, I'd be
good at that. Tennis coaches, especially if you have like
a fancy client, they make way more money than you
think they do fiber optic cable splicing. It's not backbreaking work.
(34:55):
It's easy, but you have to have lots of patience.
Apparently certified wastewater treatment operator. There we go. Anybody that
works in any kind of sewer, any kind of tunnel,
any kind of pipe, you deserve to make a lot
of money. No electric pole climber, aircraft mechanic. And somebody
(35:20):
that was on this thread said, I used to shoot
birds at the airport so they don't get stuck in
the engines. You know, if you see any birds on
the on the tarmac or whatever. Give you made one
hundred and sixty thousand dollars a year. Oh my god,
that crazy. Anyway, So there's that, and that's that, and
(35:42):
that's that, and there's that.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I love him and I love you, Jenny, thank you.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh I know I need you love your beautiful present.
Speaker 2 (35:51):
I do.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And we will be back on Monday with the artistic
director from the Old Globes production of Head Gatler. I
can't even wait to talk to him, Barry Edelstein.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
He's gonna be I can't wait to see you very.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
And so we'll be back on Monday live and uh
let's go six, Let's go Love your podcast.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Love your podcast.
Speaker 3 (36:16):
I love you, my sweet babies. Bye. Thank you for
watching and listening.
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