May 15, 2024 • 30 mins
Wed (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, John Boy credits his ancestors with winning the Revolutionary War.. - While we’re in the history books, we’ll discuss Alexander Dumas.. - Oliver responds to a letter from a guy who lost a Karaoke contest.. - We discover that John Boy’s truck is smarter than him.. - We report on a lesser known fugitive from justice, Florida Woman.. - we’ll finish up with a request for “The Final Pirate Joke..” - and a discussion about the times we’ve lost it in a fast food restaurant..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Good morning, The Big Show is on your radio. It
is Wednesday morning, and were coming up on the easiest
way for you to join the winners. We gotta buy
of job Mobiller's original Grilla sauce. How good is it? Randy?
Really good? That's our boy. You need favorite at it.
It is I dip everything.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So glad you got something in you. You won't mind
that you got something on you.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Check it out when you go to the Big Show
dot com. Hang on play for it in minutes. Good morning,
the Big Show is on the radio. Coming up with
you at Curnil Biskuiz. Just say, first of all, sneeze
is revealed personality? Yeah seriously? Is that? Mars Plains, New
Jersey say a sneeze can reveal volumes about your personality.
(01:03):
Behavior expert Paddy Wood has analyzed aways people sneeze and
say they can be broken down into four different personality types.
A see if you can find yours is the sensitive
sneezer has a friendly personality and is likely to turn
their head away from people when they sneeze. Okay, that's
nobody in this room. Meanwhile, the be right sneezer is
(01:27):
a careful and accurate person who makes one small sneeze
and the get it done sneezer is fast, decisive, and
to the point. They also try to control their sneezes
by holding them in. Finally, the enthusiastic sneezer is a
charismatic leader who makes a show out of sneezing multiple times,
(01:48):
really loud.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And occasionally we'll go has sneaky.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, when I go hat snegy.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
That doesn't really fit into any of those categories.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Well, this is still evolving.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah yeah. Woods nosework was commissioned by Ben A Drill
allergy medicine, by the way, and sneezers can psychologically analyze
themselves by logging onto BENADRILLUSA dot com.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
All right, there is a website for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
All right, all watch it? All right, what we're gonna
do with on this current bench quiz minute?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, Bill Gates wants to be involved in every part
of your life. As you know, he's getting ready to
follow you into the toilet.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
You know what, because I can honestly say Bill Gates
ain't in my life, but he might be getting close.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Well, if he was gonna try to catch you, the
toilet would be a good place though.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Color nine one ain't under big show. We're gonna play
(03:08):
Good Morning to make show is on your radio coming up.
Go play stupid quiz Well, Babajamobilly's original Drilla sauce, Now
a little put Public's grocery stores. Send time for Memorial
Day from this week's winners. Okay. Then, a Florida woman
has been arrested on a charge of aggravated battery. I've
been waiting for this with some time, for a long time.
You know, we'll just listen. You'll lone to stay. Why
(03:29):
the charge of aggravated battery after her husband, who was
extremely chemical sensitive, claimed she tried to kill him by
dousing herself with perfume. Wow. Glyndon Taylor is accused of
wearing perfume, burning incense scandals, and using humorous air fresheners.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Come here and give me a hunt.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
You're trying to give me prickly heat again.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
He was a resident of her husband, David complained to police.
He says, we gotta rescue man because your husband's such
a big baby. Really, that is a good place for
a stick up. Maybe I don't kill David, you know,
usually I don't know that My wife ain't thought about that.
You just just trying to nag the life out of
(04:16):
you or kill you when they're cooking. So it's just
this is something new, let's try it.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
I'm chemically sensitive. Ali huzzah. This is King vdor or
is that FI door?
Speaker 5 (04:33):
Neverthe matter, It is here by decreed by Royal Proclamation
that my new Port Justice shall henceforth be John Boy
and Billy in the realm node as the Big Show.
Are they funny? They better be lest they want to
be dragon food? Good morning, A big show is right
(05:27):
here on the radio.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is your story this morning? I'm walking up the sidewalk.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Here comes Johnny, pulls in, shuts off the truck and
jumps out of it real quick.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I said, what do you got to be in there?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And he goes.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
My seat moves.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It always moves whenever I take the key out of
it to seem crush me.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Into like the steering wheel, and you know it moved.
That's the test.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You know what you trying to do?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
You want to call that dealership or you got and
you stay on the phone, do you get the.
Speaker 7 (05:57):
Owner walking down? I take the jacket place?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Did you get this truck? Drug?
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Don't take none of that he's not in stuff either.
You hold until you talk to the owner of the dealership.
Where'd you get that truck anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
John Boys Chevrolet.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Well, the good news is you don't have to spend
any time on the phone.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So that explains the new ad campaign. He's the flinching
Man's friend.
Speaker 7 (06:24):
It's a case of the truck is smarter than the driver.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Well and all right, but then, uh, they want me
through it, Tim. I don't know whether Jack was telling him,
so want me through it. I got on there and
turn off and it did it again. You know, out
about me.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
There's a dumb ass.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
There's a problem.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
There's that John Boys Chevrolet. Big enough to serve you,
not smart enough to cheat you.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
Yeah, it's still malfunctioning. So I'm in there with him.
You know, I can't do it by some so on
my phone. We're waiting for Tim to call back.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
So we're looking around.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Man, this is nice.
Speaker 8 (06:57):
Oh wow, Look you've got the stereo controls on your
steering wheel.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
Where on the steering wheel?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yes, so I point to this ar I said, right.
Speaker 7 (07:07):
This round thing, that's the steering wheel.
Speaker 8 (07:10):
So there it is, right there.
Speaker 9 (07:11):
He pushes the button the volume goes up. Man, I
didn't even know that was there.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
To get out of this truck.
Speaker 7 (07:17):
You don't even need this truck.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Come on out this weekend for the boss is out
of his mind. They've all got to go sales.
Speaker 9 (07:23):
He's hot now.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
He don't even want it.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
We didn't pass Barry. We're coming back and we passed Barry.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There you go fix it.
Speaker 9 (07:29):
Barry said, where's your keys in the truck?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
He wants somebody to take keep it.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You can make it one of them program calls.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
It's actually a nice feature.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
What they do is the keys that you get for
the truck comes with two separate computer chips in them,
so that when you plug the key into.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The switch, we'll see. This is the problem right here,
there's a.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Computer in Yah.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
It's supposed to know which driver is using the car.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I got my wife's key.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
That's why the truck says, oh, the wife's driving. Let
me roll the seat up for you.
Speaker 10 (08:04):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But but no, it doesn't move until I stopped. I
go somewhere, Do I take the care Then it moves up.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Shouldn't it like move?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Maybe it's hoping your wife will be driving it?
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Oh lord, I hope he didn't get back this.
Speaker 7 (08:20):
Oh, I'm so glad he's off of me.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Maybe if I move the seat if he won't come back,
I know, I'm scary.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
What truck. It's me, your friend John Boy.
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Sitting there and you know, just making small talk, listening
to his CDs. He's showing me how many seeds he
can load it one time. Then he looks over it
and looks at me and says, we need to take
a road tree.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh no, I said, come on, let's go time, go
in the building.
Speaker 8 (08:50):
He gets all these little bright out of just me
and him sitting that we need to do something together.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, we are doing it.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
You're knowing your Cherrolet people to call so we can
fix this thing.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Did you reach over and hustle your hair on brands?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
That he loves us.
Speaker 9 (09:03):
He wants the Hug movie.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So that's John Boys Chevrolet. If you buy it from
anybody else, you will think too much.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
All right, Well, you know way.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You'll get screwed is if you get.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
We're with him working on that will keep going up
to they just developing store. Good morning to make sure
(09:52):
it's on the radio, and then I'm ready for a drive
time player. Let me go action.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Cajun Cookouts. As our story opens, mister and Missus Woodrow
Boudreau and their friends Justin LeBlanc and fast Eddie Wargee
are enjoying a Friday evening on the Boudreau patio.
Speaker 10 (10:19):
So that first old woman saying, hey, Mark, you know
you got one of them what you call rick toss
a pository hanging out of your ears at the second
old woman saying, oh, I hate to tell you where
I've done left my hand.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
And I stand you.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Are funny son of a gun.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
He's been that way as long as I remember.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I can't he Lizbeth, we got him more, damn simmer
m Bonne.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
In the kitchen, there might be three or two left.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
How about chicken on that for me?
Speaker 11 (10:47):
Well, you're just gonna have to hold on some. I'm
still trying to scrub this own nasty Barbara cue sauce
of for your no grimmy matine.
Speaker 12 (10:55):
But don't feel like you gotta get up and hit
me or nothing? Lord, No, or was I one to
want to broke up your little death comedy? Gimble sweet tea.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You see you staying that Dall's why I love her,
soul friend.
Speaker 10 (11:10):
I think she might be trying to send you a
little secret massage there.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah, she always doing that because that woman is a
woo whe huh, Well you say that for Look call Lizbeth,
been over scrubbing that grilla machine. Girl, You're property live
done expanded? Some dude? What top the back yard on you?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
But almost?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Why is that new griller machine twice hot too?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I guarantee wash your mouth?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Who's bun?
Speaker 9 (11:38):
I guarantee, man.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
You don't know her.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
You better not tease that woman too hot.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Ain't careful. You might Joe Backing. Ugh, Oh, she know?
I just playing. Hey, Lizbeth, let on, I might want
to do some cooking on that griller machine. Or you
don't know what I mean?
Speaker 11 (11:56):
Mm hm, your dreaming son, ain't no way.
Speaker 12 (11:59):
I'm gonna far up this great, big real for your
one little eating video.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Now, what what do you all you've enjoy? John Boy
and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
I guess that's what Fast didn't mean about pulling back
a numb.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Next time, when we'll hear krusty old George Foreman say.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Hey, big man, let me hold it on.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Money pal, the sun's up, the birds are singing, and
two of radio's longest running knuckleheads around the air. Well,
not right this second, but soon. And that's what they
call hitting the comedy lottery. The John Boy and Billy
Big Show. Oh they are a Ryan, a regular laugh Ryan.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Whoa good morning. The Big Show is on your radio
(13:29):
coming up. Go play stupid quiz Well Ballajamon, Billy's original
drilling sauce now a little bit. Public's grocery stores send
time for Memorial Day from this week's winners. Okay Man.
A Florida woman has been arrested on a charge of
aggravated battery. I've been waiting for this one some time,
for a long time. You know. We'll just listen to
your lonest way. The charge of aggravated battery after her husband,
(13:51):
who was extremely chemical sensitive, claims she tried to kill
him by dousing herself with perfume. Lyndon Taylor is accused
of wearing perfume, burning incense, scandals, and you're using humorous
air fresheners.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Come here and give me a hunt.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
You're trying to give me prickly heat again.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
He was a resident for her husband, David complained to police.
He says, we got a rescue man because your husband's
such a big baby. Really, that's a good place for
a stick up. Maybe I don't kill David, you know,
usually I don't know that. My wife ain't thought about that.
You just just trying to nag the life out of
(14:35):
you or kill you when they're cooking. So it's just
this something new. Let's try it.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I'm chemically sensitive.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Ali, Good morning. The Big Show is on your radio
coming up in a few minutes. We'll play stupid quiz.
I'll belay called nine four fifth sixty grade level as
a case material. Amen, What great have I got a Miranda?
What grade are you in? Baby? Fifth grade? I got
some fifth graders in here from Wesley Chapel right now,
or I need to say.
Speaker 7 (15:01):
No, no from Lake Park Academy.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Lake Park Acadet. Well, Tara, Tara goes to Wesley Chapel.
Where's Tara? I was gonna say hey to her one
of the girls, Tara. Let's say, I'm all messed up.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I've got a wrong girl wrong and it's Wesley Chapel.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Tara at Wesley Chapel. I want to say hey to that.
I did I mean we took a practice in the end.
All right, but so we have Lake Parks School, Miranda's
class in here now Lake Park Academy will be your
lifeline during stupid Alright, y'all, Sadby might need you, especially
the math questions. I'm taking them right out of their
lesson planned books. All right, all right, good to you.
I've been doing that for whiles. That help me. All right, y'all?
(15:37):
Who wants to playing in a stupid quiz? One eight hundred?
Big show? You're told freelne beat callar nine. Let's get
to it next. You wanted a big shows on the radio?
(16:09):
Thank you? You ready? Eric got the Lennox. Georgia is
calling him a nine.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Hello Eric, Hey, John By, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh man, just sitting here?
Speaker 6 (16:19):
What you doing sitting here?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Are you getting paid for it?
Speaker 8 (16:23):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, okay, that's one to one.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
He has mastered you one for one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
All right, Eric, will touch a number and you touched
on phone. That's where you'll chime in. Here you go.
I got to bail first one of three right wins
in Marcy and got the lesson played hell Hello hello.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
And let me remind you you have lifelines today If
you can use the lifeline once from Lake Park Academy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
We have four fifth graders.
Speaker 11 (16:48):
All right, okay, let's go to science. Multiple choice? Right,
which of these is an Australian bird which has a
strong sense of smell, is flightless? And the covers the eggs?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (17:01):
Is it a the kiwi? B the dodo? See the
ostrich I just.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Up on the Oscars farm. All right, guys, I'm not
gonna use my lifeline on this. I think I got
a kiwi. Wait, all right, I guess me wanted nothings.
Speaker 11 (17:17):
All right, let's go to math class, Math class at noon?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Who's your bath in math? In the class? Okay? I
go ahead?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Mars Okay.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
At noon, the temperature at Lake Park Academy was thirty
five degrees. The temperature dropped forty eight degrees by eleven
o'clock that night. What was the temperature at eleven o'clock?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
All right, heyres my lifeline. First of all, what is
your name? Hunter? All right? Last name Hunter? They just
what's your last name? Hunter? Hunter?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Young? Hunter?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Me?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Gatherer?
Speaker 9 (17:51):
Hunter is the class clown?
Speaker 7 (17:52):
So human?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Way I might take you out of my wing. Hunter,
No hold on my dere I gotta use.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I'm doing the personality before we got thirty five minus
forty eight.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Honey, you need to borrow my pen. No, oh, he's
doing head show up thirteen negative thirteen minus thirteen fahrenheit
corrasp yeah no, how f oh, Eric, ID hate to
skunk you right here, but I'm up to to nothing.
Speaker 11 (18:19):
All right, all right, here we go Mars math or
English math?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
English?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
English? All right? English?
Speaker 11 (18:26):
Identify the verbs in this sentence, verbs actually work. I
despise cleaning and housework of any kind?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Cleaning work? No, man, close, I bet yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You have a lifeline available.
Speaker 9 (18:44):
Yeah, I want a lifeline.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Eric goings a lifeline. All right, come on over here, sweeten, sweetie.
That's a boy.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
But in john boys defense, he is a pretty boy.
Speaker 13 (18:57):
What is your name, Joe Guy Moose, Moose, Bruce Rose,
what's your last name?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Woodman?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
All right, Bruce Woodman?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Right here?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Our English lifeline? Alrighty. Do you need to hear the
sentence again?
Speaker 5 (19:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, he needs to hear looking for the verbs for
the verbs.
Speaker 11 (19:16):
Bruce, I despise cleaning and housework of any kind?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Bruce says cleaning? Is that what you said?
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Bruce?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I was sorry, man, it's true to nothing.
Speaker 11 (19:29):
All right, let's go back to Miranda.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
All right, Okay, we don't have any life lifelines.
Speaker 11 (19:34):
Okay, all right, A dolphin ascended from seven feet below
the surface of the water to fifteen feet above the
surface of the water and a vertical leap.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Uh huh?
Speaker 11 (19:43):
How many feet did the dolphin ascend?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Feet did the dolphin ascend? But if it was seven
under yeah, so you're talking as well as underwater is
above water ascended?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Well?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I got that eight feet? Man? Oh what he's under fifteen?
But what's seven plus eight? That would be the trick?
You said eight.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We're not sure, we're eighteen.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Seven plus eight is fifteen? You said eight? Oh, stupid,
don't all the kids? So all right, hey, look, I'll
just give him the prize bags were just in this now, okay,
I'm with you, all right?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Can I tell him the answer?
Speaker 11 (20:21):
Though, Yeah, it's twenty two feet.
Speaker 12 (20:24):
There you go, twenty three feet.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I do seven seven above and at fifteen below Miranda?
All right, Dereck, hold on, man, Hey, y'all, good job,
Thank you very much. The kids are our future's imagine.
Thanks what coming up? Another pirate jokes will continue in
this vein on the classic minut shut up? Good morning.
(20:49):
How to make shows on the radio? I say, come on,
we'll go into on our classic mid of the morning.
Mary from Columbia, South Carolina, your record is coming up next.
(21:23):
Good morning. The Big Show was on the radio about
a quarter away from the hour, continuing our impromptu salute
to pirates. I don't know how this started on Monday,
but you don't question genius.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
We don't have any geniuses.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
The question is this when I'm playing the parrot? Yes? No,
it should be good. Yeah, should have been. Let's find out.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode, the
Tale of Two Hooked Tommy, it's our story opens notorious
pirate red Shirt run Captain of the Sea Snake is
scanning the horizon through his spy glass.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Are water water everywhere?
Speaker 5 (22:03):
And not a ship in sight?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Excuse me, Cavin?
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Well, if it ain't me, snut nosed little cabin boy Edward.
Speaker 9 (22:10):
Hocken cap for a couple of morning grog, Sir.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Don't mind if I do. You're a good lad, Hockins Ra,
A good lad?
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Inde ra.
Speaker 9 (22:19):
How's a new parrot working out for you? Cavin?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Oh god?
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Well, he ain't much to look at, but at least
he ain't quite as stupid as my last parrot.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Braid By.
Speaker 9 (22:29):
That was one stupid bird.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Ra num as dirt, annoying, too raw, easy there, bird,
I said, not quite as stupid.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
I still remember the night you had him freakasy old
Brady for dinner.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I and you know, I swear I still get a
touch of gas from that meal.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Somety racking bounce for that ra That hurt's coming from you, tweetye.
Ohy there, mister, lookout, hi Kevin? Are you sure we're
in the maidship in lane?
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Cap'n?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
There's nearly a ship in sight as far as the
I can see.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I don't know what.
Speaker 9 (23:01):
To tell you, sir, I'm like a suggestion, Cavin. What's
that I think you're supposed to look to the little
end of the spyglass.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Huh oh yeah, well, what do you know? That is
much better? You got a sharp eye there, Edward Huckins.
Good thing I didn't throw you overboard the day I
find you stowed away.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
In me liquor locker.
Speaker 9 (23:23):
Like I told you, Cavin, it's a pirate's life for me.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Well, now, being a pirate hate all bottles of rum
and yo ho ho and eating beans.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
With your fingers.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Although that is a good it's a bloody and dangerous business.
To be sure.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
It'll be the death of me some day. I reckon,
just like it was for me. Father to hook Tommy,
to hook Tommy, I to hook Tommy, Scourge of the
Seven Seas, A giant of a man near seven foot tall,
with not one but two.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Gleam and metal hooks at the end of his arms.
Speaker 9 (23:57):
Hardly end up with two hooks, cap'n.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I'm glad.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Yeah, he lost his right hand down in a fierce
sword fight with his arch enemy, Admiral Benson of the
Royal Navy, got hisself fitted with a metal hook as
soon as he got back to.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Port Rack, and from that day forward he was known
as two hook Tommy.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Ra no idiots, he was one hook Tommy. Then pay
attention rock, sorry sir, raar.
Speaker 9 (24:20):
So hord he get the second hook Cappin.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
One day he was at this little dive on the
Irish coast called the Red Lobster.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Sounds rough, raw and pricey too, ra shut up bird.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Anyway, My father sitting there with his little fried shrimp
combo when this grubby little Yankee piscan and of Boston
comes over and.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Starts mouthing off.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Well, Tommy was pretty well hammered, so he starts giving
it right back to him. Then the little pissant reaches
over and throws a drink right in one hook Tommy's face.
That's what he said, And before Dad could gather his witch,
the piscent whips out his sword and wax old Tommy's
left hand clean off Rack.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
From that day forward to hook Tommy.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
Ra.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I mis breed. Hey, it's my story. How about letting
me tell it Rack?
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Sorry, sir Rar. Anyways, is that bird duty on me?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Dick Mack?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Sorry sir ra give me bird a tissue?
Speaker 5 (25:23):
All to hook Tommy pillaged and plundered on the high
seas for the rest of his life, flew the Jolly
Roger right up till the day he came to a
terrible end, and a painful and bloody day.
Speaker 9 (25:34):
It was what finally did him mean? Cap'n another sword fight?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
No, that case of juckitch.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Somebody cleaned that up. Hain't no sense in me doing everything?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Turning again next time, when we'll hear the crusty old
barmaid at the Red Lobster say, hey, big man, let
me hold it.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Good morning, the big show is on the radio.
Speaker 7 (26:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I never really got you over freaked out in a
fast food restaurant because someone going right.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Yes, believe it or not, what pushed you over the
I've told you all this before, but I am I'm
tolerant to a lot of things. Oh, yes you are.
But the one thing I work here training, the one
thing I have no tolerance for is in consideration. And
it's not I mean, it's not just against me. It
(26:53):
can be a stranger being inconsiderate to another stranger. I've
seen you, and that's happened to me many, many times.
It's at a faster in restaurant. Somebody on my side
of the counter, the customer side, you know, going off
on some you know teenager or some you know middle aged.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Lady who so you take it up for the workers there, that's.
Speaker 7 (27:10):
Right, Yeah, because you know it's always like, come on, man,
hurry up, man, how long does it take to make
a hamburger? Dude, calm down, it's a hamburger.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
He's in the President's club, but he can still strike
a blow against them hand.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
In all fairness, maybe those people just suck at their
job and they're deserving to chewing up.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Well, I mean, Fillers was really hungry. Yeah, they were
out of fry.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I pulled back, but I didn't hit him.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
It turned out alright, he's working with us now.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
I acknowledge that there are a lot of people who
do aspire to be in the fast food industry, but
they're an awful lot more who are just doing it
because that's paying a bill, right, you know, So they're
not exactly striving to be the best at what they do.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
They are trying to be in the president's class, right,
Jiffy Wiener, that's right.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
How'd you know that's where I go?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Well, look at the way you're dressed.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
To be honest, they gave.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
Me a T shirt, but I can't wear it.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah. Well, the only time I got a little hot,
it was like two weekends a row. I stopped by
the same place, uh in Hamlet, North Carolina, And yeah,
I like it is. I'm not gonna say what in
a large fry our French fry machine is broken?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Oh man, what a bummer.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Imagine that bum luddy customers out. You know it takes
away half your wrap. You know you want fries with that? Right?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Well then and there was the next weekend in a
row fry machine.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
It's broke, Hey, is it really broken? It was broken
like last night. We just don't like that. You might
want to call somebody because you know, fri is kind
of a part of the menu, sir, really not that popular.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Nobody's ordered them in over a week.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Uh, fillers you ever you feel?
Speaker 3 (28:57):
I haven't, Honestly, I can't think of the time that
he goes.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Off on Barbara when she brings the bow Jangle biscuits in.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
No, honestly, I took a swing of the guy at
the Hearty this one time, but oh he was just
another customer line. Yeah, and he was just no. We
were actually sitting back there and he was this big,
stinky rat crap smelling rosta looking guy, and I said, man,
I said take that outside. I said, you smell like
the back end of some farm animal. And he got,
(29:25):
what's not supposed to mean?
Speaker 8 (29:26):
Mom?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
I said, what's the smell? What is the sounatellite?
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Bush come to shove and I grabbed him by his
craplocks and dragged him outside nice.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
He was a lot of fun as a cellmate.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Oh we sang and told stories and made raisin wine
in the back of the toilet.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
All right, Well that'd be a new Year's resolution. Let's
draw out to snap in fast food places this year
and don't be inconsiderate shut up this year.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine, buy
them once, play them anywhere. You can shop a big
bots online right now at the Big Show dot com or.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
A Big Show stuff by phone.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Services by Amnick dot com. Have you missed any of
The Big Show this morning? You hear it now? The
John Boemilly Late Rises podcast up next. Wait wherever you
get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to us with
the free.
Speaker 7 (30:26):
A hard way to go out, See you tomorrow.
Speaker 11 (30:29):
We love you.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
We made it
Good morning, The Big Show is on your radio. It
is Wednesday morning, and were coming up on the easiest
way for you to join the winners. We gotta buy
of job Mobiller's original Grilla sauce. How good is it? Randy?
Really good? That's our boy. You need favorite at it.
It is I dip everything.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So glad you got something in you. You won't mind
that you got something on you.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Check it out when you go to the Big Show
dot com. Hang on play for it in minutes. Good morning,
the Big Show is on the radio. Coming up with
you at Curnil Biskuiz. Just say, first of all, sneeze
is revealed personality? Yeah seriously? Is that? Mars Plains, New
Jersey say a sneeze can reveal volumes about your personality.
(01:03):
Behavior expert Paddy Wood has analyzed aways people sneeze and
say they can be broken down into four different personality types.
A see if you can find yours is the sensitive
sneezer has a friendly personality and is likely to turn
their head away from people when they sneeze. Okay, that's
nobody in this room. Meanwhile, the be right sneezer is
(01:27):
a careful and accurate person who makes one small sneeze
and the get it done sneezer is fast, decisive, and
to the point. They also try to control their sneezes
by holding them in. Finally, the enthusiastic sneezer is a
charismatic leader who makes a show out of sneezing multiple times,
(01:48):
really loud.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
And occasionally we'll go has sneaky.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yeah, when I go hat snegy.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
That doesn't really fit into any of those categories.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Well, this is still evolving.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Yeah yeah. Woods nosework was commissioned by Ben A Drill
allergy medicine, by the way, and sneezers can psychologically analyze
themselves by logging onto BENADRILLUSA dot com.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
All right, there is a website for everything.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
All right, all watch it? All right, what we're gonna
do with on this current bench quiz minute?
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Well, Bill Gates wants to be involved in every part
of your life. As you know, he's getting ready to
follow you into the toilet.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
You know what, because I can honestly say Bill Gates
ain't in my life, but he might be getting close.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Well, if he was gonna try to catch you, the
toilet would be a good place though.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Color nine one ain't under big show. We're gonna play
(03:08):
Good Morning to make show is on your radio coming up.
Go play stupid quiz Well, Babajamobilly's original Drilla sauce, Now
a little put Public's grocery stores. Send time for Memorial
Day from this week's winners. Okay. Then, a Florida woman
has been arrested on a charge of aggravated battery. I've
been waiting for this with some time, for a long time.
You know, we'll just listen. You'll lone to stay. Why
(03:29):
the charge of aggravated battery after her husband, who was
extremely chemical sensitive, claimed she tried to kill him by
dousing herself with perfume. Wow. Glyndon Taylor is accused of
wearing perfume, burning incense scandals, and using humorous air fresheners.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Come here and give me a hunt.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
You're trying to give me prickly heat again.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
He was a resident of her husband, David complained to police.
He says, we gotta rescue man because your husband's such
a big baby. Really, that is a good place for
a stick up. Maybe I don't kill David, you know,
usually I don't know that My wife ain't thought about that.
You just just trying to nag the life out of
(04:16):
you or kill you when they're cooking. So it's just
this is something new, let's try it.
Speaker 4 (04:21):
I'm chemically sensitive. Ali huzzah. This is King vdor or
is that FI door?
Speaker 5 (04:33):
Neverthe matter, It is here by decreed by Royal Proclamation
that my new Port Justice shall henceforth be John Boy
and Billy in the realm node as the Big Show.
Are they funny? They better be lest they want to
be dragon food? Good morning, A big show is right
(05:27):
here on the radio.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
What is your story this morning? I'm walking up the sidewalk.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
Here comes Johnny, pulls in, shuts off the truck and
jumps out of it real quick.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
I said, what do you got to be in there?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And he goes.
Speaker 3 (05:38):
My seat moves.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It always moves whenever I take the key out of
it to seem crush me.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Into like the steering wheel, and you know it moved.
That's the test.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
You know what you trying to do?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
You want to call that dealership or you got and
you stay on the phone, do you get the.
Speaker 7 (05:57):
Owner walking down? I take the jacket place?
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Did you get this truck? Drug?
Speaker 7 (06:02):
Don't take none of that he's not in stuff either.
You hold until you talk to the owner of the dealership.
Where'd you get that truck anyway.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
John Boys Chevrolet.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
Well, the good news is you don't have to spend
any time on the phone.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
So that explains the new ad campaign. He's the flinching
Man's friend.
Speaker 7 (06:24):
It's a case of the truck is smarter than the driver.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Well and all right, but then, uh, they want me
through it, Tim. I don't know whether Jack was telling him,
so want me through it. I got on there and
turn off and it did it again. You know, out
about me.
Speaker 3 (06:39):
There's a dumb ass.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
There's a problem.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
There's that John Boys Chevrolet. Big enough to serve you,
not smart enough to cheat you.
Speaker 8 (06:46):
Yeah, it's still malfunctioning. So I'm in there with him.
You know, I can't do it by some so on
my phone. We're waiting for Tim to call back.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
So we're looking around.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Man, this is nice.
Speaker 8 (06:57):
Oh wow, Look you've got the stereo controls on your
steering wheel.
Speaker 7 (07:01):
Where on the steering wheel?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Yes, so I point to this ar I said, right.
Speaker 7 (07:07):
This round thing, that's the steering wheel.
Speaker 8 (07:10):
So there it is, right there.
Speaker 9 (07:11):
He pushes the button the volume goes up. Man, I
didn't even know that was there.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
To get out of this truck.
Speaker 7 (07:17):
You don't even need this truck.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Come on out this weekend for the boss is out
of his mind. They've all got to go sales.
Speaker 9 (07:23):
He's hot now.
Speaker 7 (07:24):
He don't even want it.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
We didn't pass Barry. We're coming back and we passed Barry.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There you go fix it.
Speaker 9 (07:29):
Barry said, where's your keys in the truck?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
He wants somebody to take keep it.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You can make it one of them program calls.
Speaker 7 (07:39):
It's actually a nice feature.
Speaker 6 (07:41):
What they do is the keys that you get for
the truck comes with two separate computer chips in them,
so that when you plug the key into.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
The switch, we'll see. This is the problem right here,
there's a.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Computer in Yah.
Speaker 7 (07:54):
It's supposed to know which driver is using the car.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I got my wife's key.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
That's why the truck says, oh, the wife's driving. Let
me roll the seat up for you.
Speaker 10 (08:04):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
But but no, it doesn't move until I stopped. I
go somewhere, Do I take the care Then it moves up.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Shouldn't it like move?
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Maybe it's hoping your wife will be driving it?
Speaker 1 (08:17):
Oh lord, I hope he didn't get back this.
Speaker 7 (08:20):
Oh, I'm so glad he's off of me.
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Maybe if I move the seat if he won't come back,
I know, I'm scary.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
What truck. It's me, your friend John Boy.
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Sitting there and you know, just making small talk, listening
to his CDs. He's showing me how many seeds he
can load it one time. Then he looks over it
and looks at me and says, we need to take
a road tree.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh no, I said, come on, let's go time, go
in the building.
Speaker 8 (08:50):
He gets all these little bright out of just me
and him sitting that we need to do something together.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
No, we are doing it.
Speaker 8 (08:56):
You're knowing your Cherrolet people to call so we can
fix this thing.
Speaker 6 (08:58):
Did you reach over and hustle your hair on brands?
Speaker 1 (09:02):
That he loves us.
Speaker 9 (09:03):
He wants the Hug movie.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
So that's John Boys Chevrolet. If you buy it from
anybody else, you will think too much.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
All right, Well, you know way.
Speaker 3 (09:13):
You'll get screwed is if you get.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
We're with him working on that will keep going up
to they just developing store. Good morning to make sure
(09:52):
it's on the radio, and then I'm ready for a drive
time player. Let me go action.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode The
Cajun Cookouts. As our story opens, mister and Missus Woodrow
Boudreau and their friends Justin LeBlanc and fast Eddie Wargee
are enjoying a Friday evening on the Boudreau patio.
Speaker 10 (10:19):
So that first old woman saying, hey, Mark, you know
you got one of them what you call rick toss
a pository hanging out of your ears at the second
old woman saying, oh, I hate to tell you where
I've done left my hand.
Speaker 5 (10:32):
And I stand you.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Are funny son of a gun.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
He's been that way as long as I remember.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
I can't he Lizbeth, we got him more, damn simmer
m Bonne.
Speaker 9 (10:43):
In the kitchen, there might be three or two left.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
How about chicken on that for me?
Speaker 11 (10:47):
Well, you're just gonna have to hold on some. I'm
still trying to scrub this own nasty Barbara cue sauce
of for your no grimmy matine.
Speaker 12 (10:55):
But don't feel like you gotta get up and hit
me or nothing? Lord, No, or was I one to
want to broke up your little death comedy? Gimble sweet tea.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You see you staying that Dall's why I love her,
soul friend.
Speaker 10 (11:10):
I think she might be trying to send you a
little secret massage there.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah, she always doing that because that woman is a
woo whe huh, Well you say that for Look call Lizbeth,
been over scrubbing that grilla machine. Girl, You're property live
done expanded? Some dude? What top the back yard on you?
Speaker 3 (11:31):
But almost?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Why is that new griller machine twice hot too?
Speaker 3 (11:34):
I guarantee wash your mouth?
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Who's bun?
Speaker 9 (11:38):
I guarantee, man.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
You don't know her.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
You better not tease that woman too hot.
Speaker 5 (11:46):
Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
Ain't careful. You might Joe Backing. Ugh, Oh, she know?
I just playing. Hey, Lizbeth, let on, I might want
to do some cooking on that griller machine. Or you
don't know what I mean?
Speaker 11 (11:56):
Mm hm, your dreaming son, ain't no way.
Speaker 12 (11:59):
I'm gonna far up this great, big real for your
one little eating video.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Now, what what do you all you've enjoy? John Boy
and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 5 (12:15):
I guess that's what Fast didn't mean about pulling back
a numb.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Next time, when we'll hear krusty old George Foreman say.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Hey, big man, let me hold it on.
Speaker 5 (12:32):
Money pal, the sun's up, the birds are singing, and
two of radio's longest running knuckleheads around the air. Well,
not right this second, but soon. And that's what they
call hitting the comedy lottery. The John Boy and Billy
Big Show. Oh they are a Ryan, a regular laugh Ryan.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Whoa good morning. The Big Show is on your radio
(13:29):
coming up. Go play stupid quiz Well Ballajamon, Billy's original
drilling sauce now a little bit. Public's grocery stores send
time for Memorial Day from this week's winners. Okay Man.
A Florida woman has been arrested on a charge of
aggravated battery. I've been waiting for this one some time,
for a long time. You know. We'll just listen to
your lonest way. The charge of aggravated battery after her husband,
(13:51):
who was extremely chemical sensitive, claims she tried to kill
him by dousing herself with perfume. Lyndon Taylor is accused
of wearing perfume, burning incense, scandals, and you're using humorous
air fresheners.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Come here and give me a hunt.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
You're trying to give me prickly heat again.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
He was a resident for her husband, David complained to police.
He says, we got a rescue man because your husband's
such a big baby. Really, that's a good place for
a stick up. Maybe I don't kill David, you know,
usually I don't know that. My wife ain't thought about that.
You just just trying to nag the life out of
(14:35):
you or kill you when they're cooking. So it's just
this something new. Let's try it.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
I'm chemically sensitive.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Ali, Good morning. The Big Show is on your radio
coming up in a few minutes. We'll play stupid quiz.
I'll belay called nine four fifth sixty grade level as
a case material. Amen, What great have I got a Miranda?
What grade are you in? Baby? Fifth grade? I got
some fifth graders in here from Wesley Chapel right now,
or I need to say.
Speaker 7 (15:01):
No, no from Lake Park Academy.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Lake Park Acadet. Well, Tara, Tara goes to Wesley Chapel.
Where's Tara? I was gonna say hey to her one
of the girls, Tara. Let's say, I'm all messed up.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
I've got a wrong girl wrong and it's Wesley Chapel.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Tara at Wesley Chapel. I want to say hey to that.
I did I mean we took a practice in the end.
All right, but so we have Lake Parks School, Miranda's
class in here now Lake Park Academy will be your
lifeline during stupid Alright, y'all, Sadby might need you, especially
the math questions. I'm taking them right out of their
lesson planned books. All right, all right, good to you.
I've been doing that for whiles. That help me. All right, y'all?
(15:37):
Who wants to playing in a stupid quiz? One eight hundred?
Big show? You're told freelne beat callar nine. Let's get
to it next. You wanted a big shows on the radio?
(16:09):
Thank you? You ready? Eric got the Lennox. Georgia is
calling him a nine.
Speaker 6 (16:14):
Hello Eric, Hey, John By, what's going on?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Oh man, just sitting here?
Speaker 6 (16:19):
What you doing sitting here?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Are you getting paid for it?
Speaker 8 (16:23):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Yeah, okay, that's one to one.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
He has mastered you one for one.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
All right, Eric, will touch a number and you touched
on phone. That's where you'll chime in. Here you go.
I got to bail first one of three right wins
in Marcy and got the lesson played hell Hello hello.
Speaker 6 (16:40):
And let me remind you you have lifelines today If
you can use the lifeline once from Lake Park Academy.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
We have four fifth graders.
Speaker 11 (16:48):
All right, okay, let's go to science. Multiple choice? Right,
which of these is an Australian bird which has a
strong sense of smell, is flightless? And the covers the eggs?
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (17:01):
Is it a the kiwi? B the dodo? See the
ostrich I just.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Up on the Oscars farm. All right, guys, I'm not
gonna use my lifeline on this. I think I got
a kiwi. Wait, all right, I guess me wanted nothings.
Speaker 11 (17:17):
All right, let's go to math class, Math class at noon?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Who's your bath in math? In the class? Okay? I
go ahead?
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Mars Okay.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
At noon, the temperature at Lake Park Academy was thirty
five degrees. The temperature dropped forty eight degrees by eleven
o'clock that night. What was the temperature at eleven o'clock?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
All right, heyres my lifeline. First of all, what is
your name? Hunter? All right? Last name Hunter? They just
what's your last name? Hunter? Hunter?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Young? Hunter?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
Me?
Speaker 1 (17:49):
Gatherer?
Speaker 9 (17:51):
Hunter is the class clown?
Speaker 7 (17:52):
So human?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Way I might take you out of my wing. Hunter,
No hold on my dere I gotta use.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
I'm doing the personality before we got thirty five minus
forty eight.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Honey, you need to borrow my pen. No, oh, he's
doing head show up thirteen negative thirteen minus thirteen fahrenheit
corrasp yeah no, how f oh, Eric, ID hate to
skunk you right here, but I'm up to to nothing.
Speaker 11 (18:19):
All right, all right, here we go Mars math or
English math?
Speaker 2 (18:24):
English?
Speaker 1 (18:24):
English? All right? English?
Speaker 11 (18:26):
Identify the verbs in this sentence, verbs actually work. I
despise cleaning and housework of any kind?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Cleaning work? No, man, close, I bet yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
You have a lifeline available.
Speaker 9 (18:44):
Yeah, I want a lifeline.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
Eric goings a lifeline. All right, come on over here, sweeten, sweetie.
That's a boy.
Speaker 6 (18:53):
But in john boys defense, he is a pretty boy.
Speaker 13 (18:57):
What is your name, Joe Guy Moose, Moose, Bruce Rose,
what's your last name?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Woodman?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
All right, Bruce Woodman?
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Right here?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Our English lifeline? Alrighty. Do you need to hear the
sentence again?
Speaker 5 (19:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
Yeah, he needs to hear looking for the verbs for
the verbs.
Speaker 11 (19:16):
Bruce, I despise cleaning and housework of any kind?
Speaker 1 (19:20):
Bruce says cleaning? Is that what you said?
Speaker 5 (19:23):
Bruce?
Speaker 1 (19:24):
I was sorry, man, it's true to nothing.
Speaker 11 (19:29):
All right, let's go back to Miranda.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
All right, Okay, we don't have any life lifelines.
Speaker 11 (19:34):
Okay, all right, A dolphin ascended from seven feet below
the surface of the water to fifteen feet above the
surface of the water and a vertical leap.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
Uh huh?
Speaker 11 (19:43):
How many feet did the dolphin ascend?
Speaker 1 (19:46):
Feet did the dolphin ascend? But if it was seven
under yeah, so you're talking as well as underwater is
above water ascended?
Speaker 5 (19:53):
Well?
Speaker 1 (19:53):
I got that eight feet? Man? Oh what he's under fifteen?
But what's seven plus eight? That would be the trick?
You said eight.
Speaker 3 (20:05):
We're not sure, we're eighteen.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Seven plus eight is fifteen? You said eight? Oh, stupid,
don't all the kids? So all right, hey, look, I'll
just give him the prize bags were just in this now, okay,
I'm with you, all right?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Can I tell him the answer?
Speaker 11 (20:21):
Though, Yeah, it's twenty two feet.
Speaker 12 (20:24):
There you go, twenty three feet.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
I do seven seven above and at fifteen below Miranda?
All right, Dereck, hold on, man, Hey, y'all, good job,
Thank you very much. The kids are our future's imagine.
Thanks what coming up? Another pirate jokes will continue in
this vein on the classic minut shut up? Good morning.
(20:49):
How to make shows on the radio? I say, come on,
we'll go into on our classic mid of the morning.
Mary from Columbia, South Carolina, your record is coming up next.
(21:23):
Good morning. The Big Show was on the radio about
a quarter away from the hour, continuing our impromptu salute
to pirates. I don't know how this started on Monday,
but you don't question genius.
Speaker 7 (21:33):
We don't have any geniuses.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
The question is this when I'm playing the parrot? Yes? No,
it should be good. Yeah, should have been. Let's find out.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode, the
Tale of Two Hooked Tommy, it's our story opens notorious
pirate red Shirt run Captain of the Sea Snake is
scanning the horizon through his spy glass.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Are water water everywhere?
Speaker 5 (22:03):
And not a ship in sight?
Speaker 9 (22:05):
Excuse me, Cavin?
Speaker 5 (22:06):
Well, if it ain't me, snut nosed little cabin boy Edward.
Speaker 9 (22:10):
Hocken cap for a couple of morning grog, Sir.
Speaker 3 (22:12):
Don't mind if I do. You're a good lad, Hockins Ra,
A good lad?
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Inde ra.
Speaker 9 (22:19):
How's a new parrot working out for you? Cavin?
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Oh god?
Speaker 5 (22:24):
Well, he ain't much to look at, but at least
he ain't quite as stupid as my last parrot.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Braid By.
Speaker 9 (22:29):
That was one stupid bird.
Speaker 5 (22:31):
Ra num as dirt, annoying, too raw, easy there, bird,
I said, not quite as stupid.
Speaker 9 (22:37):
I still remember the night you had him freakasy old
Brady for dinner.
Speaker 5 (22:41):
I and you know, I swear I still get a
touch of gas from that meal.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Somety racking bounce for that ra That hurt's coming from you, tweetye.
Ohy there, mister, lookout, hi Kevin? Are you sure we're
in the maidship in lane?
Speaker 4 (22:56):
Hi?
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Cap'n?
Speaker 3 (22:57):
There's nearly a ship in sight as far as the
I can see.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
I don't know what.
Speaker 9 (23:01):
To tell you, sir, I'm like a suggestion, Cavin. What's
that I think you're supposed to look to the little
end of the spyglass.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Huh oh yeah, well, what do you know? That is
much better? You got a sharp eye there, Edward Huckins.
Good thing I didn't throw you overboard the day I
find you stowed away.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
In me liquor locker.
Speaker 9 (23:23):
Like I told you, Cavin, it's a pirate's life for me.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Well, now, being a pirate hate all bottles of rum
and yo ho ho and eating beans.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
With your fingers.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
Although that is a good it's a bloody and dangerous business.
To be sure.
Speaker 5 (23:38):
It'll be the death of me some day. I reckon,
just like it was for me. Father to hook Tommy,
to hook Tommy, I to hook Tommy, Scourge of the
Seven Seas, A giant of a man near seven foot tall,
with not one but two.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Gleam and metal hooks at the end of his arms.
Speaker 9 (23:57):
Hardly end up with two hooks, cap'n.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
I'm glad.
Speaker 5 (23:59):
Yeah, he lost his right hand down in a fierce
sword fight with his arch enemy, Admiral Benson of the
Royal Navy, got hisself fitted with a metal hook as
soon as he got back to.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Port Rack, and from that day forward he was known
as two hook Tommy.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Ra no idiots, he was one hook Tommy. Then pay
attention rock, sorry sir, raar.
Speaker 9 (24:20):
So hord he get the second hook Cappin.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
One day he was at this little dive on the
Irish coast called the Red Lobster.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Sounds rough, raw and pricey too, ra shut up bird.
Speaker 5 (24:35):
Anyway, My father sitting there with his little fried shrimp
combo when this grubby little Yankee piscan and of Boston
comes over and.
Speaker 3 (24:47):
Starts mouthing off.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
Well, Tommy was pretty well hammered, so he starts giving
it right back to him. Then the little pissant reaches
over and throws a drink right in one hook Tommy's face.
That's what he said, And before Dad could gather his witch,
the piscent whips out his sword and wax old Tommy's
left hand clean off Rack.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
From that day forward to hook Tommy.
Speaker 11 (25:08):
Ra.
Speaker 3 (25:09):
I mis breed. Hey, it's my story. How about letting
me tell it Rack?
Speaker 1 (25:14):
Sorry, sir Rar. Anyways, is that bird duty on me?
Speaker 5 (25:19):
Dick Mack?
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Sorry sir ra give me bird a tissue?
Speaker 5 (25:23):
All to hook Tommy pillaged and plundered on the high
seas for the rest of his life, flew the Jolly
Roger right up till the day he came to a
terrible end, and a painful and bloody day.
Speaker 9 (25:34):
It was what finally did him mean? Cap'n another sword fight?
Speaker 3 (25:37):
No, that case of juckitch.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Somebody cleaned that up. Hain't no sense in me doing everything?
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Turning again next time, when we'll hear the crusty old
barmaid at the Red Lobster say, hey, big man, let
me hold it.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Good morning, the big show is on the radio.
Speaker 7 (26:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
I never really got you over freaked out in a
fast food restaurant because someone going right.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Yes, believe it or not, what pushed you over the
I've told you all this before, but I am I'm
tolerant to a lot of things. Oh, yes you are.
But the one thing I work here training, the one
thing I have no tolerance for is in consideration. And
it's not I mean, it's not just against me. It
(26:53):
can be a stranger being inconsiderate to another stranger. I've
seen you, and that's happened to me many, many times.
It's at a faster in restaurant. Somebody on my side
of the counter, the customer side, you know, going off
on some you know teenager or some you know middle aged.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Lady who so you take it up for the workers there, that's.
Speaker 7 (27:10):
Right, Yeah, because you know it's always like, come on, man,
hurry up, man, how long does it take to make
a hamburger? Dude, calm down, it's a hamburger.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
He's in the President's club, but he can still strike
a blow against them hand.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
In all fairness, maybe those people just suck at their
job and they're deserving to chewing up.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Well, I mean, Fillers was really hungry. Yeah, they were
out of fry.
Speaker 3 (27:30):
I pulled back, but I didn't hit him.
Speaker 1 (27:31):
It turned out alright, he's working with us now.
Speaker 6 (27:34):
I acknowledge that there are a lot of people who
do aspire to be in the fast food industry, but
they're an awful lot more who are just doing it
because that's paying a bill, right, you know, So they're
not exactly striving to be the best at what they do.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
They are trying to be in the president's class, right,
Jiffy Wiener, that's right.
Speaker 7 (27:55):
How'd you know that's where I go?
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Well, look at the way you're dressed.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
To be honest, they gave.
Speaker 7 (28:00):
Me a T shirt, but I can't wear it.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah. Well, the only time I got a little hot,
it was like two weekends a row. I stopped by
the same place, uh in Hamlet, North Carolina, And yeah,
I like it is. I'm not gonna say what in
a large fry our French fry machine is broken?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Oh man, what a bummer.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
Imagine that bum luddy customers out. You know it takes
away half your wrap. You know you want fries with that? Right?
Speaker 2 (28:33):
Well then and there was the next weekend in a
row fry machine.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
It's broke, Hey, is it really broken? It was broken
like last night. We just don't like that. You might
want to call somebody because you know, fri is kind
of a part of the menu, sir, really not that popular.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
Nobody's ordered them in over a week.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Uh, fillers you ever you feel?
Speaker 3 (28:57):
I haven't, Honestly, I can't think of the time that
he goes.
Speaker 7 (29:01):
Off on Barbara when she brings the bow Jangle biscuits in.
Speaker 5 (29:04):
No, honestly, I took a swing of the guy at
the Hearty this one time, but oh he was just
another customer line. Yeah, and he was just no. We
were actually sitting back there and he was this big,
stinky rat crap smelling rosta looking guy, and I said, man,
I said take that outside. I said, you smell like
the back end of some farm animal. And he got,
(29:25):
what's not supposed to mean?
Speaker 8 (29:26):
Mom?
Speaker 3 (29:26):
I said, what's the smell? What is the sounatellite?
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Bush come to shove and I grabbed him by his
craplocks and dragged him outside nice.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
He was a lot of fun as a cellmate.
Speaker 5 (29:38):
Oh we sang and told stories and made raisin wine
in the back of the toilet.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
All right, Well that'd be a new Year's resolution. Let's
draw out to snap in fast food places this year
and don't be inconsiderate shut up this year.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine, buy
them once, play them anywhere. You can shop a big
bots online right now at the Big Show dot com or.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
A Big Show stuff by phone.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Services by Amnick dot com. Have you missed any of
The Big Show this morning? You hear it now? The
John Boemilly Late Rises podcast up next. Wait wherever you
get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to us with
the free.
Speaker 7 (30:26):
A hard way to go out, See you tomorrow.
Speaker 11 (30:29):
We love you.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
We made it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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