June 6, 2024 • 43 mins
Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Uncle B.S. tells us what he was doing on D-Day.. - Comedian Brad Williams checks in from his tour as it winds through Big Show cities.. - We’ll get a lesson on man-speak in our Language Lab.. - Mad Max gets his boxers in a bunch over Vegan-Sexuals.. - Doug Rice gets us On Track with his weekly racing report.. - Mark Packer is fresh back from the worst vacation of his life.. - and Mary Jane does some deep thinking..
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Good morning. You got a big show on the radio,
more chance for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports by. This is Stanjordi arts in all today.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
From Hammer Langerford, Norway.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
After around to Kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great Big Harring smoothie.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And listening to the Big Show with John Boy and Bealey.
There's a bond in.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
This one, got a doodle doo upping out of it.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Is Thursday, June the sixth. It is D Day Memorial Oil.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
D Day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Anniversary. Is that what you were looking Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was, And I was looking at that And now
I was looking out the door of some baby doll
very early in the morning. What's going on here?
Speaker 6 (01:37):
What are you trying to say? She was put together?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm trying to say, with you and Jackie, gotta move
out the way. Okay, I've learned to talk.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
That's a look at someone who hadn't been home yet.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That's what that is. Let's see here. It is Thursday, yes,
the anniversary of D Day, and uh man, this is
talking about we are still a few World War Two veterans.
There's one of Fayetteville, North Carolina. That's gonna be going
over to Normandy. I'm sure he's on his way right
(02:09):
there is like ninety some years old as mom. Let
him say he was seventeen when he was sixteen to
join up? How about that? Man?
Speaker 6 (02:17):
I love flats and it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That is something and something real cool.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
We we love Folds of Honor here at the Big show.
A great, great organization and something historical is happening tomorrow
at Jack Nicholas's Memorial Golf Tournament. Folds of Honors bringing
the national anthem to golf. Now, you know, golf was
the only major sport that didn't observe the national anthem,
(02:47):
especially you know Memori Day and stuff like that. We
just had also the PGA Tours asking players and fans
to wear red, white and blue on Friday to honor
military service members, first responders, all those who protect our
country community. Special specially designed Foes of Honor ribbon we'll
be given to every one at the tournament. It's a
big day for America, golf and Folds of Honor. For
(03:10):
more information, you can go to foldsof Honor Friday dot com,
Folds of Honor Friday dot com cool thy great organization,
gonna do all right? Did we got three days in
history all saved up to get you ready for the categories.
Get a first prize. Back out now that we're awake,
we'll get that winning beginning Big Shows on the radio.
(03:33):
Good morning, Big Show's on the radio. First prize pack
a hat, t shirt, tumbler in a twenty five dollars
gas card from law Tigers. You can win the trip
of a lifetime to the eighty fourth annual Sturgis Motorcycle
Rally and a custom Harley Davidson. Let's go to Big
Show dot com. Click on the law Tigers banner gets
you info. There's never right here or three days in
(03:55):
history where we get our categories. You can win that
prize pack. So it was June sixth, eighteen fifty Levi
Strauss makes his first pair of Dunham blue jeans. Levi
had a hit on his hands. Move up to twenty eighteen.
A special pedestrian lane was introduced in China. It was
(04:18):
to be used by fubbers, slow walking smartphone users.
Speaker 6 (04:25):
Oh wow, it needs to be a lane in traffic
for that.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I don't let's just dick out with what he says
a why drive it like an idiot.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Just get over there and do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Interstate four eighty five. They're going seventy seventy five miles
an hour drifting between the lanes, and I know the
guy's textingers on his phone every time y'all quit that
come on. Finally was on his date. In twenty twenty three,
and a stunning development of the PGA Tour, DP World Tour,
(04:56):
and the Live Golf League all agreed to unify to
its own for profit entity, to be run by the
PGA Tour and funded by Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund.
So PGA Tours are, we'll run it. We'll still use
y'all's money. At least we're gonna have the national anthem
(05:18):
of the Jack Nicholas Memorial Golf Tournament tomorrow thanks to
folds of Honor. As we learned first thing this morning.
All right, well, there's our categories, and go ahead and
get a contestant on the line one eight hundred, big show,
your toll free line across America. We'll play out bursts
next morning. It's a big show on the radio for
(06:04):
your Thursday. Today's feature track from the Big Show, bed Box,
Mad Max Kentucky Fried Cruelty dot com. There's Ricky words
Fried Cruelty did John Boy Billy, I'm for your dad's
and grands this year when you hit the bed box
at the Big show dot com.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
When Upburst, let's play Upburst.
Speaker 8 (06:29):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
John Boy Boy gave the prizes from the Big.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Prize be let's go.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
He contested number one.
Speaker 8 (06:42):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Have a hurry up and gust time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Love a big shots.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
Let's say, Hey, Terry from cotton Wood, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Good Mordon, Terry, Hey, John Boy, how are you Hello?
We're all good, my man, welcome in here, coming in
hiking the Cottonwood. Hey all right, let's get you through
these categories carrying five seconds. How about three brands of
jeans ready to.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
Go, Levibe Wrangler, Dicky ma'am.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I tell give us three places people use their smartphone, ready.
Speaker 10 (07:38):
Go car, sidewalk, restaurant.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And for the win. Three pro golfers ready to go.
Speaker 10 (07:51):
Ry McElroy, tiger Wood, Jordan speak and.
Speaker 11 (07:54):
There you are cos of centers say that they can
come out of cotton winning.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
The big Old Lord Tiger's prize back Terry, congratulations, buddy.
Speaker 10 (08:06):
All right, thank you, sir.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Alright ware jumping out, catching you up, phone your knees,
showing the on the side. We've got time capsuled up
first sect Thursday morning. We got it.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South number one export.
Speaker 12 (09:07):
Hey biggin This, here's Mungo Swisher reporting live from talk
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(09:30):
for the next four years. I'm calling in today from
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In fact, Beggin, I was exploring a rough part of
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hundred dollars.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
That's one hundred.
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Bucks in cash and five hundred dollars worth of on
air mention. Thank goodness, I was able to steady my
nerves with a tall glass of yack it off vodka.
Remember if you can't shake it off, jack it off.
I'm pleased to have a special guest to me today,
his honor, the Mayor of Kalishnikov, mister Boris Halichev. By
(10:09):
the way, today's interview is sponsored by the tough new
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give our worldwide listening audience a feel for the situation
here in Kalishnikov. Tell us about the roveing bands of
ethnic cleansing warlords still roving the cobblestone streets of this
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(10:31):
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Speaker 13 (10:47):
Thank you well.
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Speaker 13 (11:03):
Mister Mayor, Uh, thank you very much, mister Swisha. Good morning,
John Boy and Beatty, and hello to all of your
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Hold on, Uh yes, I forgot where it was? Where
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Speaker 7 (11:36):
Let's see.
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Yes, thank you. That is a very nice unit day,
isn't it?
Speaker 12 (12:03):
And speaking a nice unit in you Stateside fans are
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Speaker 13 (12:22):
Yes, do you really want to talk to me or not?
Speaker 12 (12:26):
I'd love to, mister Mayor, but unfortunately we're out of
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(13:10):
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Speaker 7 (13:12):
Listening to my talk about.
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The sponsor updates and streaming audio from my website dot
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Speaker 1 (13:29):
John Boya and Billy Way the way the Beeg's played.
Yere seeing how much Elvis Wade woa where the days?
Good morning radio done right? Good morning? Make shows on
(14:15):
the radio. Roll into your airline Thursday. Alright, let's bring
a man. Hey, Marvin Webster, y'all, what's up? How y'all doing?
Speaker 9 (14:27):
Man?
Speaker 5 (14:27):
My cousin Derek hit the lottery last week. I won
fifteen hundred bucks on some insta game called Scratch for Cash.
Derek is the biggest winner the Webster family has ever had.
And we played the lottery a lot, of course, why
wouldn't you play on TV? That make the lottery look
like fun? Who don't like to have fun? Everybody in
(14:50):
the commercials having a big party? Ever seen the people.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
In real life that buy a lottery tickets?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Do the fat, sweated drunks line up in front of
the machine at the quickie mart look like they having
as much fun as the people on TV? I don't think.
So here's something you hear. A lot the lottery ain't
nothing but a tax on stupid people, to which may
I just say and It's about damn time. If you're
looking for somebody that tax. There's a whole lot more
(15:17):
stupid people than there is rich people. But they don't
want you to know that you're stupid. See that's why
they call it the education lottery. Part of the money
goes to help fund our school system. So right, So
how come every September the girl on the six o'clock
news does a promo talking about drop off school supplies
in the barrel in front of Walmart. Do it for
(15:39):
the kids? Channel nine Kids? Sound like the education part
of the lottery ain't working out too good. Wow, I'm
getting smarter all round, cause that ain't Nobody ever bought
a lottery ticket because they wanted to help education. If
they change a name from Powerball to the by Donald
Sterling a New Lamber sweepstakes, my people would still line
(16:03):
up when the jackpot got over seventy five million. Now,
to win the Powerball, you gotta be some long odds.
According to Google, here's what the number look like. Your
odds of getting hit by lightning over the course of
the average lifetime is one in twelve thousand. Your odds
are winning the powerball one in one hundred and seventy
(16:26):
five thousand, So you're more likely to get hit by
lightning fourteen times than you already hit the powerball once. Ah,
we having fun yet, my cousin Deary says, oh, man,
that ain't have I look at it seemed to me
like when you buy a ticket, you either win or
you don't. You got a fifty to fifty shot two
(16:46):
to one odds, which officially makes my cousin one of
the stupid people. Put the tax off when it gets
up to two or three hundred million. Even marginally stupid
people would line up to pay the stupid tax, But
if it's like five or six million, they go, shoot,
I ain't standing in that line for no five million dollars?
Who you think I am? Stupid? Nowadays you don't even
(17:10):
have to stand in line to play.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Did you know?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
You can buy a lottery subscription. You send them money,
they buy your ticket for you, and then they let
you know if you want or not. It's like Keino,
but you don't have to fly all the way to
Las Vegas to hand somebody all your money. My aunt
Dokie is hardcore lottery player. She got a subscription to
(17:33):
a lottery magazine, y'all, a whole magazine full of tips
and strategies and stuff. And since it's a lifestyle magazine,
they also run articles like how to tell if you
are addicted to gambling? Sounds like it be a short
article to me, the best way to tell you got
a gambling problem. You're reading a lottery magazine. Now here's
(17:55):
my basic theory on the lottery. Buy and large. Rich
people ain't stoopid, and stupid people ain't rich. What the
lottery does see is turned stupid people into rich people,
which is not a good idea. Look at all the
people on TV to win fifty sixty million dollars and
end up broke or in jail or both. You know
(18:16):
why that happens because rich goes away quick. Stupid is
for life. Case in point, my cousin Derek, big winner man,
won fifteen hundred dollars two days later, every nickel.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Of it was gone.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
You know what, He bought a new suit from the
casual mail, an eight hundred dollars tab in the champagne
room at the paper doll line and oh yeah, three
hundred dollars worth of losers on scratch for ca y'all
think about it. I'm Marvel website.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Ah, you're gonna have all them good at two shoes
on the radio talking about that damn eating having babies.
There're nothing sexy as than a hot young man talking
trash on the radio. I like all them opinionated tip men,
Rush Limball, John Handy, Neil Boyd. There's snow on the roof,
(19:21):
there's a fire in the funny. It's getting hot in here.
I take off all my clothes. Who I feel so vulnerable?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Good morning, Thursday, June sixth, twenty twenty four. It was
a blast from Tim Wilson right here.
Speaker 10 (20:16):
Hong abyss, where are you?
Speaker 14 (20:17):
In June nineteen forty four, Metal detector salesman d Day,
Normandy France walking the beach at fourday morning and black
soaks and sandals scouring the coach line, helping a gay
glass blower named Jean hunt for a friendship Bracelett.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
A drunk out of a pair of speedos.
Speaker 14 (20:35):
Earlier than that age, How I got an ocean? See
one hundred thousand surfers running at me in ugly green wetsuits,
not water pistols, enough luggage to keep a team of
bell hops busy for a month. Next thing, I'm the
all a machine gun round from a sand down parts
my hair and Jean takes a four inch piece of
rapping in behind him. I drag into a sunland stand
(20:56):
lotion Suntan lotion stand, wind up wrapping his button number
ten Sunscream the beach Palwell tourniquet. I got their counters
baking like a dope Taylor at.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
A back house picnic.
Speaker 14 (21:07):
He's pussing like a French sailor, and I'm wondering what
this many teenagers are doing storming Normandy in the middle
of the house, I said Joan, with us many bullets
in the beach, I think you and Todd can forget
about that fact.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Brace Yeah, good morning. That's big show on the radio, alright,
we read it for special guests. One of the most
in demand comedians working today, Brad Williams. He's appeared on
The Tonight Show, Jimmy Kimmellive and in films Little Eviel Mascots.
(21:40):
Reno nine one one, his first one hour special, Fund Size,
was the highest rated special on Showtime and he's just
getting started, no wonder the late Robin Williams called him
Prozac with a head. Let's meet him first time on
the Big Show. Brad Williams. Good morning, Brad, Good morning.
Speaker 9 (21:59):
What intro?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's very much you did it all. I just read it.
Speaker 9 (22:07):
Yeah, but you read it with such gusto. I'm sitting
here listening to that going. Man, who are they gonna
talk to that guy? Sound funny?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I wish you'd hurry up so I could get on
the hair.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
Yeah, no kidding. Oh, Brad, that's great, Brad.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
We are fans, buddy, We are fans our girl MARSI
turned me on to you, and well he's a little funny,
that's what he is, for sure, Brad. Real quick, before
we get into it, just let me give a heads
up to our big show cities somewhere. You're gonna be going,
uh this Friday tomorrow rowing out Virginia the Bergland Center,
(22:43):
and then Saturday you'll be in Knoxville the Tennessee Theater
before you hit Evansville, Indiana toward the end of the month.
We'll tell our listeners about that, all right, So thanks
for joining us again, buddy.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Oh of course, And just so the listeners know who
may be unfamiliar with my work. Uh, if you're on
Instagram or TikTok and you see a dwarf telling jokes,
that's probably me. Okay, I have to say that because
it's the radio. You can't see me, and I've been
told by many a DJ I don't sound like a dwarf. Now,
(23:18):
I don't know. I don't know what that means. I
don't know if I'm supposed to call you guys up like.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'll call that would be it.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Havan though dn trunning up of the fun. I don't
know what that. I guess that's how I'm supposed to sound.
I guess at some point in this interview I'll give
you a tour of my home that's inside a tree
where we make the cookies.
Speaker 7 (23:50):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 9 (23:54):
What I'm supposed to be doing, but that that is
the note that I not dwarf enough.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Well, you do have the perfect voice for radio, Brad,
I do.
Speaker 9 (24:13):
Everyone says my voice doesn't match my stature, so I'm
not sure how to take that as a compliment. But
I guess I think the.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Wizard of Oz just spoiled us with a whole munchkin
deal going there, you know, yeah, I'm sure you love
that term munchkin, right, Oh?
Speaker 9 (24:32):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (24:33):
Or I love that.
Speaker 9 (24:36):
I mean, I mean as many witches as I wish
I would have killed in my life. I'm not I'm
not exactly a munchkin, uh not a not a leprechaun.
Although I will say this, March is the most dangerous months,
and Saint Patrick's Day is the most dangerous day to
(24:56):
be to be a dwarf. That is a day where
I do not go outside. I got drunk people looking
at me going he knows where it is.
Speaker 10 (25:06):
He's not a fan.
Speaker 9 (25:08):
I don't go outside on that day. Saint Patrick's Day
is the dwarf version of the Purge. So but I
will be going outside, and I and I will be
performing June seventh in Roanoke, Virginia, Bergam Performing Arts Center,
June twenty eighth at the Victory Theater in Evansville. We're
(25:30):
doing theaters right now. And when I say get your
tickets early, I mean that get your tickets early, because
if you're in the back, I don't know, I'm four
foot nothing, not sure if you're gonna be able to
see me.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
It's really a good reason to get your tickets early.
So Brad, Brad Williams is the man. He is on
the road. You gotta go get more info and Brad
at Bradwilliamscomedy dot Com. And like I said, if you
say a funny little guy on Instagram, take talk of
the deal is probably Brad making you laugh. You are
(26:03):
a funny rascal Brad. And congratulations. I know you recently
turned forty, so you I think you got it down
by now.
Speaker 10 (26:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
I turned forty, which is about sixty five and dwarf,
so I'm pretty sure I'm eligible for AARP benefits now,
which I'm totally fine with. I'm fine with getting older.
Some people don't like it. They wish they were back
in their twenties. No, man, Now, I have one drink.
(26:32):
I'm drunk as heck.
Speaker 7 (26:35):
It's great.
Speaker 9 (26:36):
My legs hurt, so I don't go outside. I just
stay home. I watch TV what a life is. But
don't worry, I'll get I'll pop an advil. Faul have
plenty of energy. So when I'm there at in Roanoke
June seventh, I'll be running all over the stage. I'm
(26:57):
a tiny guy. It's a large stage now, I got
to use I feel bad if.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Brad.
Speaker 9 (27:05):
I'm on hot guys, I'm on stage for about an
hour now, and it takes me the full hour just
to run from one side of the stage to the other.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
So cover it all. Uh well, you got to see
Brad Williams rowing over Virginia tomorrow this Saturday, Tennessee Theater
in Knoxville. Then look him up when he's gonna hit
you with Evansville, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Terry At Indiana, back
into Norfolk and October. Bradwilliamscomedy dot Com. Brad, thank you, buddy.
(27:35):
We hope to get up with you soon, buddies.
Speaker 9 (27:38):
Sounds great. Great talking with you guys.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Good have you by?
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
There he is, Brad Williams Comedy dot Com. All right, y'all, well,
let's jump in here and play some John boyd Jeopardy review.
Yesterday's question. We found out these reproduced so quickly that
in just eighteen months, two of them can be leanked
over a million off springs. What are rats them? Rats?
Get it going? Today's John Boy Jeopardy. According to Federal
(28:03):
Crime Statistics, men are more likely to be killed by
women when they are here than anywhere else?
Speaker 6 (28:10):
What is under them?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Specific? What ain't hundred? Big Show? You told Free Live
we played John boyd Jeopardy next Thursday morning. It's a
(28:46):
Big Show on the radio. Today's feature track for the
Big Show, Big Box, Mad Max Kentucky, Fried Cruelty dot
com serch for key words fried Cruelty. It's your Mad
Maximum big Bucks at the Big Show dot Com. And
right now, let's play slve across America. It's John Boy
(29:09):
Jemary and now your host. We all know he's way
more likely to be killed by a woman because he
never says, come here and give me a hug to
a man, he's John Boy. That's a hey, two women,
don't tell me. It looks like Barry out of Martinsville, Virginia.
(29:33):
Good morning, Barry.
Speaker 7 (29:35):
That's me.
Speaker 10 (29:36):
How you doing there?
Speaker 15 (29:37):
They doing?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Good Man rat Martinsville favorite hot dog in a racetrack
right there at you damn buddy. No really, yeah, it
was the first race track. Well, Barry, you got first
shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning. According to Federal
Crime Statistics, men are more likely be killed by women
(30:01):
when they are here than anywhere else, and not here
in the show.
Speaker 11 (30:08):
Oh, in a certain place, like in your house maybe,
or well I would I would say, while a woman's
cooking and he's trying to interfere with her cooking, or
I would say I would say that should catch him
in the bathroom with his pants.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Down, or could beat the bathroom.
Speaker 10 (30:24):
Uh huh, I'm gonna say it's a bedroom.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So going for the bedroom. Let's see, and I'll make
you feel a little bit better. Berry, no room in
the house. What all right? So it was take it out,
take it out in the yard.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Out in the yard.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, we'll all find out. I won't keep listening.
Speaker 7 (30:50):
Bar.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
We appreciate you being active with us there, buddy.
Speaker 10 (30:54):
Yes, sir, y'all have a good day.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Get a shout out. Yeah, you go ahead.
Speaker 11 (30:59):
Well still, I got any lonely divorcee women who are
desperate with nothing left to lose.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I'll give a shout out to him anyway, I think. Girls, Yeah,
now you know why. I guess we're getting to inkling there, Bear,
you have a great day at Barnesville. Let's go over
to McDonald. No women, I'm confusing here. That's Brian from
(31:26):
McDonald Tennessee. Okay, good morning, Brian, Oh, Brian are you there, buddy,
I'm here.
Speaker 11 (31:37):
I got you now, all right, good, good, good, all right?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So you up, Brian?
Speaker 12 (31:42):
What you got?
Speaker 10 (31:44):
Well, it was a pretty deepnentsery he gave bedroom.
Speaker 9 (31:46):
But I'm going to have to go with work.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Okay. You say at work.
Speaker 7 (31:53):
And you.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Women more likely to kill a man nothing workplace? Wow,
all right, it is weird find out well, Brian, you
did it, buddy. One hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bulls not cleaning products headed over McDonald for you.
Speaker 15 (32:12):
Owes.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 10 (32:13):
Hey, the first time, first off call a long time?
Speaker 12 (32:16):
What's her?
Speaker 9 (32:16):
I love this show? Thank y'all, right, you.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Buy the money hour Tommy, your news look like we
got a bonus top ten lists. On the other side,
they ain't going for Live Good Morning. It's a big
(33:11):
show on the radio. Alrighters, that Bono's top ten Liz, Well,
you think ideas just happened? No, No, A lot of
hard work goes into it, like this redneck Barbie. Oh
there were dozens of ideas.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
Oh sure, I mean you know you think it's easier
to just say, oh, Malibu Barbie, Oh, Barbie in a Corvette.
That's fine, And those are great ideas. But for everyone
that gets accepted, there are probably hundreds that just don't
quite make it for one reason another. Maybe they're like
too expensive, or maybe they're just they don't say fun.
Speaker 11 (33:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Well, we don't have time to go over all hundreds
of them.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
But no, but we do have ten of them.
Speaker 8 (33:45):
In fact, the top ten Barbie themes rejected by mattel
And here they are. Number ten, deadhead Barbie. See you
couldn't sell enough outfits for that one, binge purge Barbie
number eight, romantically linked with Donald Trump Barbie number seven,
(34:06):
Big malhair Barbie with Kung Fu grip number six, PMS
mood Swing Barbie number five, Swaggert Mistress Barbie number four,
Sexually harassed EEOC.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Secretary Barbie.
Speaker 16 (34:26):
Number three, Klaus Barbie number two, feminist Lesbo Barbie, and
the number one Barbie theme rejected barb tell transvestite Ken.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Good and there's a big show on the radio running
through your Thursday. All right, take this good morning, Hang
Big Joe.
Speaker 7 (35:18):
Jam On Belly yoll Man Max here.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Hey, Max, how's it going?
Speaker 7 (35:22):
A wow?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Guess you're mad?
Speaker 7 (35:25):
No more calls please, we have a winner, I believe
it or not. Fellas. They've discovered a new kind of
sexual preference. You already know about heterosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals,
Well there's a new one called, I kid you not,
vagan sexuals. Some university down in New Zealand surveyed a
(35:47):
bunch of vegetarians, and a lot of them listened their
sexual orientation as vagan sexual, which means they won't eat
meat and they won't have sex with anybody that does.
I didn't even know what a vegan was till I
heard this. I thought I was one of them pointy
aired boogers and star trucks. Turns out a vegan is
(36:09):
a hardcore vegetarian. Not only won't eat meat, they won't
use anything that comes from my animal at all. That
means no milk, no cheese, no eggs, even though you
can get all that stuff from animals without actually killing them.
I guess they think milking a cow counts as sexual rasslets. Anyway,
(36:31):
vegan sexuals will only get jiggy with somebody that says
screwed up as they are, or get looks personality. How
much money you make all these goods care about us?
Whether you eat toe furky for Thanksgiving dinner my big
old meaty but one vegan sex will admit she's sometimes
(36:51):
attracted to meat eaters, but tries to stay away from
them because their body is literally made out of the
bodies of others who die for their sustenance. And here's
the money quote. When people eat the meat he died,
they're kind of a graveyard for animals. Oh yeah, we're
really gonna miss her in a dating pool. I hate
(37:13):
to be judgment but let me just say this, when
it comes to finding a boyfriend, most of the vegetarians
I run across can't afford to get real picky. I mean,
you already pasty looking, wearing polyester pants and rubber shoes
and munching on bean sprouts. You really want to cut
down your prospects morning you already have. I don't get
(37:36):
me wrong, I'm a reasonable guy. If you don't want
to eat meat, more power to you. But personally, I
didn't claw my way to the top of the food
chain to eat garden burgers. In fact, I think I'm
gonna start me a new group, the meat Bytarians. We're
kind of like the Presbyterians, but we're gonna eat all
the meat the veggie sectionals, don't walk. It's a one
(37:58):
hundred percent vegetable free right, nothing but t bowls and
cheeseburgers and pork rib for a communion, We're doing away
with wine and bread. Everybody gets a shot glass of
Grabby and a chicken mc nugget. Can I get amen
to find out more about the Meat Bytarians. You're invited
to attend our next worship service. It'll be denied at
(38:19):
six pm and Boost number five and out Back steakhout.
We'll own up a bunch of twenty House ribis medium
rare corn. The Meat Bytarians, no rules, just right. Go on, Billy,
y'all have a nice day.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Good morning. The bake show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 17 (38:41):
I'm working with mister Bill cops over to his outfit now.
Like listen to John Boy and Billy and that there,
big Yo. I like the way they talk.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
They're funny hh not funny queers, that's what they say.
Speaker 17 (38:56):
Anyhow, I figured out what John Boy has a hard
time get started the morning. I ain't gotten a gaze.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. Before
Nasgar goes out in the Wine Country, this weekend, we'll
get you what I man, Doug Rice, He's coming out
pen minutes, but right now.
Speaker 15 (39:51):
Welcome to Big Show Language Lab, a guide to more
effective conversation. Today's episode Things men Say. Many problems in
romantic and marital relationships start because what we hear isn't
really what they mean. Today a look at twelve common
phrases that men use with their wife or girlfriend, what
women think they.
Speaker 6 (40:11):
Mean, and what they actually mean. Number one, When men say.
Speaker 8 (40:16):
Hey, can I help you make dinner? You think it means,
you know, I feel guilty because I don't do nearly
enough to help out around here, But it really means
why is dinner not already on the table.
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Number two when men say.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
Hey, I brought you a surprise.
Speaker 8 (40:32):
You think it means these roses are a spontaneous symbol
of my undying life, But it really means I stopped
at food Jeni to get beer and the girl in
the flower department was really hot.
Speaker 6 (40:47):
Number three. When men say you look.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
Great, honey, You think it means you look great honey,
but it really means, yeah, yeah, can we just go already?
Speaker 6 (40:58):
Number four when men say.
Speaker 8 (41:00):
You know, I really like your friend Julie. You think
it means I find most of your friends pretty annoying,
but Julie's not like that, But it really means Julie
is definitely your hottest friend.
Speaker 6 (41:13):
Number five. When men say I miss you, you think
it means.
Speaker 8 (41:18):
I miss you, but it really means we're out of
toilet paper and I can't find the pizza cutter. When
are you coming back?
Speaker 6 (41:26):
Number six. When men say whatever you want to do,
you think it means.
Speaker 8 (41:31):
I'll let you make the decision, but it really means
I couldn't possibly care less about the decision at hand,
and we both know we're going to do what you
want to do anyway, So could you please just tell
me what that is?
Speaker 6 (41:45):
Number seven.
Speaker 8 (41:46):
When men say I was kidding, you think it means oops,
you took that in the worst possible way. How can
I get out of this? But it really means oops,
I accidentally said what I really think? How can I
get out of this?
Speaker 6 (42:02):
Number eight.
Speaker 8 (42:02):
When men say let's take your car, you think it
means I don't really want to go, so I'm going
to make you drive me there, but it really means
I don't really want to go and my car is
completely out of gas.
Speaker 6 (42:15):
Number nine, When men say.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
Why are you making such a big deal about this?
You think it means why do you have to make
everything so overly dramatic? But it really means how in
the world did you find out about this? Number ten,
When men say you're right, I'm sorry. You think it
means I have no defense for my actions. I admit
(42:39):
my guilt and throw myself on the mercy of the court.
Speaker 6 (42:42):
But it really means, can you.
Speaker 8 (42:44):
Please stop talking?
Speaker 1 (42:45):
It's almost time for Sports Center.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
Number eleven, When men say.
Speaker 8 (42:51):
Yeah, that sounds great.
Speaker 6 (42:52):
You think it means to tell you the truth.
Speaker 8 (42:54):
I wasn't really listening, but sure, how bad could it be?
But it really means that is literally the most painful
idea I've ever heard. But I might want to see
you naked again at some point in the future.
Speaker 6 (43:09):
And finally, number twelve, When men say I love you,
you think it means I know.
Speaker 8 (43:15):
I don't say it often. I know I'm hard to
get along with sometimes, but in my own clumsy way,
I really do love you.
Speaker 6 (43:23):
But it really means this is.
Speaker 8 (43:24):
The point where I want to see you naked.
Speaker 15 (43:29):
And that concludes this edition of Big Show Language Lab
brought to you by Hard Graves potted meat products chalk
full of peckers and lips since nineteen thirty seven
Good morning. You got a big show on the radio,
more chance for you to win coming up after your
news weather sports by. This is Stanjordi arts in all today.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
From Hammer Langerford, Norway.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
After around to Kick the Wolverine.
Speaker 3 (00:21):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great Big Harring smoothie.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
And listening to the Big Show with John Boy and Bealey.
There's a bond in.
Speaker 4 (00:33):
This one, got a doodle doo upping out of it.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Is Thursday, June the sixth. It is D Day Memorial Oil.
Speaker 5 (01:22):
D Day.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Anniversary. Is that what you were looking Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was, And I was looking at that And now
I was looking out the door of some baby doll
very early in the morning. What's going on here?
Speaker 6 (01:37):
What are you trying to say? She was put together?
Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm trying to say, with you and Jackie, gotta move
out the way. Okay, I've learned to talk.
Speaker 6 (01:47):
That's a look at someone who hadn't been home yet.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
That's what that is. Let's see here. It is Thursday, yes,
the anniversary of D Day, and uh man, this is
talking about we are still a few World War Two veterans.
There's one of Fayetteville, North Carolina. That's gonna be going
over to Normandy. I'm sure he's on his way right
(02:09):
there is like ninety some years old as mom. Let
him say he was seventeen when he was sixteen to
join up? How about that? Man?
Speaker 6 (02:17):
I love flats and it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That is something and something real cool.
Speaker 7 (02:24):
You know.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
We we love Folds of Honor here at the Big show.
A great, great organization and something historical is happening tomorrow
at Jack Nicholas's Memorial Golf Tournament. Folds of Honors bringing
the national anthem to golf. Now, you know, golf was
the only major sport that didn't observe the national anthem,
(02:47):
especially you know Memori Day and stuff like that. We
just had also the PGA Tours asking players and fans
to wear red, white and blue on Friday to honor
military service members, first responders, all those who protect our
country community. Special specially designed Foes of Honor ribbon we'll
be given to every one at the tournament. It's a
big day for America, golf and Folds of Honor. For
(03:10):
more information, you can go to foldsof Honor Friday dot com,
Folds of Honor Friday dot com cool thy great organization,
gonna do all right? Did we got three days in
history all saved up to get you ready for the categories.
Get a first prize. Back out now that we're awake,
we'll get that winning beginning Big Shows on the radio.
(03:33):
Good morning, Big Show's on the radio. First prize pack
a hat, t shirt, tumbler in a twenty five dollars
gas card from law Tigers. You can win the trip
of a lifetime to the eighty fourth annual Sturgis Motorcycle
Rally and a custom Harley Davidson. Let's go to Big
Show dot com. Click on the law Tigers banner gets
you info. There's never right here or three days in
(03:55):
history where we get our categories. You can win that
prize pack. So it was June sixth, eighteen fifty Levi
Strauss makes his first pair of Dunham blue jeans. Levi
had a hit on his hands. Move up to twenty eighteen.
A special pedestrian lane was introduced in China. It was
(04:18):
to be used by fubbers, slow walking smartphone users.
Speaker 6 (04:25):
Oh wow, it needs to be a lane in traffic
for that.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I don't let's just dick out with what he says
a why drive it like an idiot.
Speaker 6 (04:34):
Just get over there and do whatever you want.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Interstate four eighty five. They're going seventy seventy five miles
an hour drifting between the lanes, and I know the
guy's textingers on his phone every time y'all quit that
come on. Finally was on his date. In twenty twenty three,
and a stunning development of the PGA Tour, DP World Tour,
(04:56):
and the Live Golf League all agreed to unify to
its own for profit entity, to be run by the
PGA Tour and funded by Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund.
So PGA Tours are, we'll run it. We'll still use
y'all's money. At least we're gonna have the national anthem
(05:18):
of the Jack Nicholas Memorial Golf Tournament tomorrow thanks to
folds of Honor. As we learned first thing this morning.
All right, well, there's our categories, and go ahead and
get a contestant on the line one eight hundred, big show,
your toll free line across America. We'll play out bursts
next morning. It's a big show on the radio for
(06:04):
your Thursday. Today's feature track from the Big Show, bed Box,
Mad Max Kentucky Fried Cruelty dot com. There's Ricky words
Fried Cruelty did John Boy Billy, I'm for your dad's
and grands this year when you hit the bed box
at the Big show dot com.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
When Upburst, let's play Upburst.
Speaker 8 (06:29):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
John Boy Boy gave the prizes from the Big.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
Prize be let's go.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
He contested number one.
Speaker 8 (06:42):
This should be a lot of fun when you're playing Upburst.
Speaker 4 (06:47):
Have a hurry up and gust time you love the
best time you.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Love a big shots.
Speaker 9 (06:54):
Let's say, Hey, Terry from cotton Wood, Alabama.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Good Mordon, Terry, Hey, John Boy, how are you Hello?
We're all good, my man, welcome in here, coming in
hiking the Cottonwood. Hey all right, let's get you through
these categories carrying five seconds. How about three brands of
jeans ready to.
Speaker 10 (07:27):
Go, Levibe Wrangler, Dicky ma'am.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
I tell give us three places people use their smartphone, ready.
Speaker 10 (07:38):
Go car, sidewalk, restaurant.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
And for the win. Three pro golfers ready to go.
Speaker 10 (07:51):
Ry McElroy, tiger Wood, Jordan speak and.
Speaker 11 (07:54):
There you are cos of centers say that they can
come out of cotton winning.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
The big Old Lord Tiger's prize back Terry, congratulations, buddy.
Speaker 10 (08:06):
All right, thank you, sir.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Alright ware jumping out, catching you up, phone your knees,
showing the on the side. We've got time capsuled up
first sect Thursday morning. We got it.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South number one export.
Speaker 12 (09:07):
Hey biggin This, here's Mungo Swisher reporting live from talk
about the sponsors my post twenty eight thousand, four hundred
and sixty two. Today's report brought to you buy Swisher Sweets,
the teeny little cigar with a great, big cherry taste.
That's right, Beggin. I'm now Mungo Swisher. I just closed
the deal yesterday to sell the naming rights to myself
(09:30):
for the next four years. I'm calling in today from
the quaint Serbo Croatian village of Kalishnikof. As most of
you folks know, this is a troubled part of the world.
In fact, Beggin, I was exploring a rough part of
town last night and got robbed at gunpoint. Lost six
hundred dollars.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
That's one hundred.
Speaker 12 (09:48):
Bucks in cash and five hundred dollars worth of on
air mention. Thank goodness, I was able to steady my
nerves with a tall glass of yack it off vodka.
Remember if you can't shake it off, jack it off.
I'm pleased to have a special guest to me today,
his honor, the Mayor of Kalishnikov, mister Boris Halichev. By
(10:09):
the way, today's interview is sponsored by the tough new
Dodge Ram the mayor of Truckville. Now, mister Hablichev, let's
give our worldwide listening audience a feel for the situation
here in Kalishnikov. Tell us about the roveing bands of
ethnic cleansing warlords still roving the cobblestone streets of this
picturesque little corner of the world. And speaking of picturesque,
(10:31):
don't trust your memories to just Eddie film before you
hit the road. Do what we do. Stuck up now
on plenty of AGFA film products, professional quality at discount prices.
Mister Mayor, talk to us.
Speaker 13 (10:47):
Thank you well.
Speaker 12 (10:50):
Before I forget, let me mention that today's interview is
being brought to you over the amazing new Nokia thirty
one to fifty portable cellular satellite telephones Nokia connecting people worldwide.
Speaker 13 (11:03):
Mister Mayor, Uh, thank you very much, mister Swisha. Good morning,
John Boy and Beatty, and hello to all of your
listeners across America.
Speaker 12 (11:14):
Just one second and there's no federal radio to listen
to the big show on. That's the amazing new bowse
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Speaker 13 (11:30):
Hold on, Uh yes, I forgot where it was? Where
where was I?
Speaker 7 (11:36):
Let's see.
Speaker 12 (11:37):
Well, mister Mayor, you wouldn't have any trouble figuring out
where you are if you had the official portable GPS
system of the Talk about the sponsor World Tour. The
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Speaker 13 (11:59):
Yes, thank you. That is a very nice unit day,
isn't it?
Speaker 12 (12:03):
And speaking a nice unit in you Stateside fans are
looking for some excitement. Next time you're in the Grand
Strand area, South Carolina, be sure to stop in at
Tattletales two, home of Chesty McDonald, located just a half
mile north of Barefoot Landing on Highway seventeen in North
Myrtleby shop.
Speaker 13 (12:22):
Yes, do you really want to talk to me or not?
Speaker 12 (12:26):
I'd love to, mister Mayor, but unfortunately we're out of
time and speaking a time. Thanks to our sponsor time X,
check out the newest member of the time X Expedition collection,
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Stop up on Tipsy Pomps now at our official outfitters,
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to my Mama Mabel and hello to Ben Doon and
(13:10):
film a cracking from Belfast, Northern Ireland.
Speaker 7 (13:12):
Listening to my talk about.
Speaker 12 (13:13):
The sponsor updates and streaming audio from my website dot
com sail next time Mongo Swisher talking about myself. Audios
be a Egos love you biggen.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
John Boya and Billy Way the way the Beeg's played.
Yere seeing how much Elvis Wade woa where the days?
Good morning radio done right? Good morning? Make shows on
(14:15):
the radio. Roll into your airline Thursday. Alright, let's bring
a man. Hey, Marvin Webster, y'all, what's up? How y'all doing?
Speaker 9 (14:27):
Man?
Speaker 5 (14:27):
My cousin Derek hit the lottery last week. I won
fifteen hundred bucks on some insta game called Scratch for Cash.
Derek is the biggest winner the Webster family has ever had.
And we played the lottery a lot, of course, why
wouldn't you play on TV? That make the lottery look
like fun? Who don't like to have fun? Everybody in
(14:50):
the commercials having a big party? Ever seen the people.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
In real life that buy a lottery tickets?
Speaker 5 (14:55):
Do the fat, sweated drunks line up in front of
the machine at the quickie mart look like they having
as much fun as the people on TV? I don't think.
So here's something you hear. A lot the lottery ain't
nothing but a tax on stupid people, to which may
I just say and It's about damn time. If you're
looking for somebody that tax. There's a whole lot more
(15:17):
stupid people than there is rich people. But they don't
want you to know that you're stupid. See that's why
they call it the education lottery. Part of the money
goes to help fund our school system. So right, So
how come every September the girl on the six o'clock
news does a promo talking about drop off school supplies
in the barrel in front of Walmart. Do it for
(15:39):
the kids? Channel nine Kids? Sound like the education part
of the lottery ain't working out too good. Wow, I'm
getting smarter all round, cause that ain't Nobody ever bought
a lottery ticket because they wanted to help education. If
they change a name from Powerball to the by Donald
Sterling a New Lamber sweepstakes, my people would still line
(16:03):
up when the jackpot got over seventy five million. Now,
to win the Powerball, you gotta be some long odds.
According to Google, here's what the number look like. Your
odds of getting hit by lightning over the course of
the average lifetime is one in twelve thousand. Your odds
are winning the powerball one in one hundred and seventy
(16:26):
five thousand, So you're more likely to get hit by
lightning fourteen times than you already hit the powerball once. Ah,
we having fun yet, my cousin Deary says, oh, man,
that ain't have I look at it seemed to me
like when you buy a ticket, you either win or
you don't. You got a fifty to fifty shot two
(16:46):
to one odds, which officially makes my cousin one of
the stupid people. Put the tax off when it gets
up to two or three hundred million. Even marginally stupid
people would line up to pay the stupid tax, But
if it's like five or six million, they go, shoot,
I ain't standing in that line for no five million dollars?
Who you think I am? Stupid? Nowadays you don't even
(17:10):
have to stand in line to play.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Did you know?
Speaker 5 (17:12):
You can buy a lottery subscription. You send them money,
they buy your ticket for you, and then they let
you know if you want or not. It's like Keino,
but you don't have to fly all the way to
Las Vegas to hand somebody all your money. My aunt
Dokie is hardcore lottery player. She got a subscription to
(17:33):
a lottery magazine, y'all, a whole magazine full of tips
and strategies and stuff. And since it's a lifestyle magazine,
they also run articles like how to tell if you
are addicted to gambling? Sounds like it be a short
article to me, the best way to tell you got
a gambling problem. You're reading a lottery magazine. Now here's
(17:55):
my basic theory on the lottery. Buy and large. Rich
people ain't stoopid, and stupid people ain't rich. What the
lottery does see is turned stupid people into rich people,
which is not a good idea. Look at all the
people on TV to win fifty sixty million dollars and
end up broke or in jail or both. You know
(18:16):
why that happens because rich goes away quick. Stupid is
for life. Case in point, my cousin Derek, big winner man,
won fifteen hundred dollars two days later, every nickel.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Of it was gone.
Speaker 5 (18:31):
You know what, He bought a new suit from the
casual mail, an eight hundred dollars tab in the champagne
room at the paper doll line and oh yeah, three
hundred dollars worth of losers on scratch for ca y'all
think about it. I'm Marvel website.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio.
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Ah, you're gonna have all them good at two shoes
on the radio talking about that damn eating having babies.
There're nothing sexy as than a hot young man talking
trash on the radio. I like all them opinionated tip men,
Rush Limball, John Handy, Neil Boyd. There's snow on the roof,
(19:21):
there's a fire in the funny. It's getting hot in here.
I take off all my clothes. Who I feel so vulnerable?
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Good morning, Thursday, June sixth, twenty twenty four. It was
a blast from Tim Wilson right here.
Speaker 10 (20:16):
Hong abyss, where are you?
Speaker 14 (20:17):
In June nineteen forty four, Metal detector salesman d Day,
Normandy France walking the beach at fourday morning and black
soaks and sandals scouring the coach line, helping a gay
glass blower named Jean hunt for a friendship Bracelett.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
A drunk out of a pair of speedos.
Speaker 14 (20:35):
Earlier than that age, How I got an ocean? See
one hundred thousand surfers running at me in ugly green wetsuits,
not water pistols, enough luggage to keep a team of
bell hops busy for a month. Next thing, I'm the
all a machine gun round from a sand down parts
my hair and Jean takes a four inch piece of
rapping in behind him. I drag into a sunland stand
(20:56):
lotion Suntan lotion stand, wind up wrapping his button number
ten Sunscream the beach Palwell tourniquet. I got their counters
baking like a dope Taylor at.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
A back house picnic.
Speaker 14 (21:07):
He's pussing like a French sailor, and I'm wondering what
this many teenagers are doing storming Normandy in the middle
of the house, I said Joan, with us many bullets
in the beach, I think you and Todd can forget
about that fact.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Brace Yeah, good morning. That's big show on the radio, alright,
we read it for special guests. One of the most
in demand comedians working today, Brad Williams. He's appeared on
The Tonight Show, Jimmy Kimmellive and in films Little Eviel Mascots.
(21:40):
Reno nine one one, his first one hour special, Fund Size,
was the highest rated special on Showtime and he's just
getting started, no wonder the late Robin Williams called him
Prozac with a head. Let's meet him first time on
the Big Show. Brad Williams. Good morning, Brad, Good morning.
Speaker 9 (21:59):
What intro?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
That's very much you did it all. I just read it.
Speaker 9 (22:07):
Yeah, but you read it with such gusto. I'm sitting
here listening to that going. Man, who are they gonna
talk to that guy? Sound funny?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I wish you'd hurry up so I could get on
the hair.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
Yeah, no kidding. Oh, Brad, that's great, Brad.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
We are fans, buddy, We are fans our girl MARSI
turned me on to you, and well he's a little funny,
that's what he is, for sure, Brad. Real quick, before
we get into it, just let me give a heads
up to our big show cities somewhere. You're gonna be going,
uh this Friday tomorrow rowing out Virginia the Bergland Center,
(22:43):
and then Saturday you'll be in Knoxville the Tennessee Theater
before you hit Evansville, Indiana toward the end of the month.
We'll tell our listeners about that, all right, So thanks
for joining us again, buddy.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Oh of course, And just so the listeners know who
may be unfamiliar with my work. Uh, if you're on
Instagram or TikTok and you see a dwarf telling jokes,
that's probably me. Okay, I have to say that because
it's the radio. You can't see me, and I've been
told by many a DJ I don't sound like a dwarf. Now,
(23:18):
I don't know. I don't know what that means. I
don't know if I'm supposed to call you guys up like.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'll call that would be it.
Speaker 9 (23:34):
Havan though dn trunning up of the fun. I don't
know what that. I guess that's how I'm supposed to sound.
I guess at some point in this interview I'll give
you a tour of my home that's inside a tree
where we make the cookies.
Speaker 7 (23:50):
I'm not sure.
Speaker 9 (23:54):
What I'm supposed to be doing, but that that is
the note that I not dwarf enough.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Well, you do have the perfect voice for radio, Brad,
I do.
Speaker 9 (24:13):
Everyone says my voice doesn't match my stature, so I'm
not sure how to take that as a compliment. But
I guess I think the.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Wizard of Oz just spoiled us with a whole munchkin
deal going there, you know, yeah, I'm sure you love
that term munchkin, right, Oh?
Speaker 9 (24:32):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (24:33):
Or I love that.
Speaker 9 (24:36):
I mean, I mean as many witches as I wish
I would have killed in my life. I'm not I'm
not exactly a munchkin, uh not a not a leprechaun.
Although I will say this, March is the most dangerous months,
and Saint Patrick's Day is the most dangerous day to
(24:56):
be to be a dwarf. That is a day where
I do not go outside. I got drunk people looking
at me going he knows where it is.
Speaker 10 (25:06):
He's not a fan.
Speaker 9 (25:08):
I don't go outside on that day. Saint Patrick's Day
is the dwarf version of the Purge. So but I
will be going outside, and I and I will be
performing June seventh in Roanoke, Virginia, Bergam Performing Arts Center,
June twenty eighth at the Victory Theater in Evansville. We're
(25:30):
doing theaters right now. And when I say get your
tickets early, I mean that get your tickets early, because
if you're in the back, I don't know, I'm four
foot nothing, not sure if you're gonna be able to
see me.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
It's really a good reason to get your tickets early.
So Brad, Brad Williams is the man. He is on
the road. You gotta go get more info and Brad
at Bradwilliamscomedy dot Com. And like I said, if you
say a funny little guy on Instagram, take talk of
the deal is probably Brad making you laugh. You are
(26:03):
a funny rascal Brad. And congratulations. I know you recently
turned forty, so you I think you got it down
by now.
Speaker 10 (26:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:12):
I turned forty, which is about sixty five and dwarf,
so I'm pretty sure I'm eligible for AARP benefits now,
which I'm totally fine with. I'm fine with getting older.
Some people don't like it. They wish they were back
in their twenties. No, man, Now, I have one drink.
(26:32):
I'm drunk as heck.
Speaker 7 (26:35):
It's great.
Speaker 9 (26:36):
My legs hurt, so I don't go outside. I just
stay home. I watch TV what a life is. But
don't worry, I'll get I'll pop an advil. Faul have
plenty of energy. So when I'm there at in Roanoke
June seventh, I'll be running all over the stage. I'm
(26:57):
a tiny guy. It's a large stage now, I got
to use I feel bad if.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Brad.
Speaker 9 (27:05):
I'm on hot guys, I'm on stage for about an
hour now, and it takes me the full hour just
to run from one side of the stage to the other.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
So cover it all. Uh well, you got to see
Brad Williams rowing over Virginia tomorrow this Saturday, Tennessee Theater
in Knoxville. Then look him up when he's gonna hit
you with Evansville, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Terry At Indiana, back
into Norfolk and October. Bradwilliamscomedy dot Com. Brad, thank you, buddy.
(27:35):
We hope to get up with you soon, buddies.
Speaker 9 (27:38):
Sounds great. Great talking with you guys.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Good have you by?
Speaker 9 (27:41):
Man?
Speaker 1 (27:41):
There he is, Brad Williams Comedy dot Com. All right, y'all, well,
let's jump in here and play some John boyd Jeopardy review.
Yesterday's question. We found out these reproduced so quickly that
in just eighteen months, two of them can be leanked
over a million off springs. What are rats them? Rats?
Get it going? Today's John Boy Jeopardy. According to Federal
(28:03):
Crime Statistics, men are more likely to be killed by
women when they are here than anywhere else?
Speaker 6 (28:10):
What is under them?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
Specific? What ain't hundred? Big Show? You told Free Live
we played John boyd Jeopardy next Thursday morning. It's a
(28:46):
Big Show on the radio. Today's feature track for the
Big Show, Big Box, Mad Max Kentucky, Fried Cruelty dot
com serch for key words fried Cruelty. It's your Mad
Maximum big Bucks at the Big Show dot Com. And
right now, let's play slve across America. It's John Boy
(29:09):
Jemary and now your host. We all know he's way
more likely to be killed by a woman because he
never says, come here and give me a hug to
a man, he's John Boy. That's a hey, two women,
don't tell me. It looks like Barry out of Martinsville, Virginia.
(29:33):
Good morning, Barry.
Speaker 7 (29:35):
That's me.
Speaker 10 (29:36):
How you doing there?
Speaker 15 (29:37):
They doing?
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Good Man rat Martinsville favorite hot dog in a racetrack
right there at you damn buddy. No really, yeah, it
was the first race track. Well, Barry, you got first
shot at John Boy Jeopardy this morning. According to Federal
Crime Statistics, men are more likely be killed by women
(30:01):
when they are here than anywhere else, and not here
in the show.
Speaker 11 (30:08):
Oh, in a certain place, like in your house maybe,
or well I would I would say, while a woman's
cooking and he's trying to interfere with her cooking, or
I would say I would say that should catch him
in the bathroom with his pants.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Down, or could beat the bathroom.
Speaker 10 (30:24):
Uh huh, I'm gonna say it's a bedroom.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
So going for the bedroom. Let's see, and I'll make
you feel a little bit better. Berry, no room in
the house. What all right? So it was take it out,
take it out in the yard.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Out in the yard.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Well, we'll all find out. I won't keep listening.
Speaker 7 (30:50):
Bar.
Speaker 1 (30:50):
We appreciate you being active with us there, buddy.
Speaker 10 (30:54):
Yes, sir, y'all have a good day.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
Get a shout out. Yeah, you go ahead.
Speaker 11 (30:59):
Well still, I got any lonely divorcee women who are
desperate with nothing left to lose.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I'll give a shout out to him anyway, I think. Girls, Yeah,
now you know why. I guess we're getting to inkling there, Bear,
you have a great day at Barnesville. Let's go over
to McDonald. No women, I'm confusing here. That's Brian from
(31:26):
McDonald Tennessee. Okay, good morning, Brian, Oh, Brian are you there, buddy,
I'm here.
Speaker 11 (31:37):
I got you now, all right, good, good, good, all right?
Speaker 1 (31:41):
So you up, Brian?
Speaker 12 (31:42):
What you got?
Speaker 10 (31:44):
Well, it was a pretty deepnentsery he gave bedroom.
Speaker 9 (31:46):
But I'm going to have to go with work.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Okay. You say at work.
Speaker 7 (31:53):
And you.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Women more likely to kill a man nothing workplace? Wow,
all right, it is weird find out well, Brian, you
did it, buddy. One hundred and twenty dollars worth of
bulls not cleaning products headed over McDonald for you.
Speaker 15 (32:12):
Owes.
Speaker 1 (32:13):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 10 (32:13):
Hey, the first time, first off call a long time?
Speaker 12 (32:16):
What's her?
Speaker 9 (32:16):
I love this show? Thank y'all, right, you.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Buy the money hour Tommy, your news look like we
got a bonus top ten lists. On the other side,
they ain't going for Live Good Morning. It's a big
(33:11):
show on the radio. Alrighters, that Bono's top ten Liz, Well,
you think ideas just happened? No, No, A lot of
hard work goes into it, like this redneck Barbie. Oh
there were dozens of ideas.
Speaker 8 (33:22):
Oh sure, I mean you know you think it's easier
to just say, oh, Malibu Barbie, Oh, Barbie in a Corvette.
That's fine, And those are great ideas. But for everyone
that gets accepted, there are probably hundreds that just don't
quite make it for one reason another. Maybe they're like
too expensive, or maybe they're just they don't say fun.
Speaker 11 (33:40):
You know.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Well, we don't have time to go over all hundreds
of them.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
But no, but we do have ten of them.
Speaker 8 (33:45):
In fact, the top ten Barbie themes rejected by mattel
And here they are. Number ten, deadhead Barbie. See you
couldn't sell enough outfits for that one, binge purge Barbie
number eight, romantically linked with Donald Trump Barbie number seven,
(34:06):
Big malhair Barbie with Kung Fu grip number six, PMS
mood Swing Barbie number five, Swaggert Mistress Barbie number four,
Sexually harassed EEOC.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Secretary Barbie.
Speaker 16 (34:26):
Number three, Klaus Barbie number two, feminist Lesbo Barbie, and
the number one Barbie theme rejected barb tell transvestite Ken.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Good and there's a big show on the radio running
through your Thursday. All right, take this good morning, Hang
Big Joe.
Speaker 7 (35:18):
Jam On Belly yoll Man Max here.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Hey, Max, how's it going?
Speaker 7 (35:22):
A wow?
Speaker 1 (35:23):
Guess you're mad?
Speaker 7 (35:25):
No more calls please, we have a winner, I believe
it or not. Fellas. They've discovered a new kind of
sexual preference. You already know about heterosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals,
Well there's a new one called, I kid you not,
vagan sexuals. Some university down in New Zealand surveyed a
(35:47):
bunch of vegetarians, and a lot of them listened their
sexual orientation as vagan sexual, which means they won't eat
meat and they won't have sex with anybody that does.
I didn't even know what a vegan was till I
heard this. I thought I was one of them pointy
aired boogers and star trucks. Turns out a vegan is
(36:09):
a hardcore vegetarian. Not only won't eat meat, they won't
use anything that comes from my animal at all. That
means no milk, no cheese, no eggs, even though you
can get all that stuff from animals without actually killing them.
I guess they think milking a cow counts as sexual rasslets. Anyway,
(36:31):
vegan sexuals will only get jiggy with somebody that says
screwed up as they are, or get looks personality. How
much money you make all these goods care about us?
Whether you eat toe furky for Thanksgiving dinner my big
old meaty but one vegan sex will admit she's sometimes
(36:51):
attracted to meat eaters, but tries to stay away from
them because their body is literally made out of the
bodies of others who die for their sustenance. And here's
the money quote. When people eat the meat he died,
they're kind of a graveyard for animals. Oh yeah, we're
really gonna miss her in a dating pool. I hate
(37:13):
to be judgment but let me just say this, when
it comes to finding a boyfriend, most of the vegetarians
I run across can't afford to get real picky. I mean,
you already pasty looking, wearing polyester pants and rubber shoes
and munching on bean sprouts. You really want to cut
down your prospects morning you already have. I don't get
(37:36):
me wrong, I'm a reasonable guy. If you don't want
to eat meat, more power to you. But personally, I
didn't claw my way to the top of the food
chain to eat garden burgers. In fact, I think I'm
gonna start me a new group, the meat Bytarians. We're
kind of like the Presbyterians, but we're gonna eat all
the meat the veggie sectionals, don't walk. It's a one
(37:58):
hundred percent vegetable free right, nothing but t bowls and
cheeseburgers and pork rib for a communion, We're doing away
with wine and bread. Everybody gets a shot glass of
Grabby and a chicken mc nugget. Can I get amen
to find out more about the Meat Bytarians. You're invited
to attend our next worship service. It'll be denied at
(38:19):
six pm and Boost number five and out Back steakhout.
We'll own up a bunch of twenty House ribis medium
rare corn. The Meat Bytarians, no rules, just right. Go on, Billy,
y'all have a nice day.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Good morning. The bake show's on the radio, and more
big show right around the corner.
Speaker 17 (38:41):
I'm working with mister Bill cops over to his outfit now.
Like listen to John Boy and Billy and that there,
big Yo. I like the way they talk.
Speaker 1 (38:51):
They're funny hh not funny queers, that's what they say.
Speaker 17 (38:56):
Anyhow, I figured out what John Boy has a hard
time get started the morning. I ain't gotten a gaze.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
Good morning. It's a big show on the radio. Before
Nasgar goes out in the Wine Country, this weekend, we'll
get you what I man, Doug Rice, He's coming out
pen minutes, but right now.
Speaker 15 (39:51):
Welcome to Big Show Language Lab, a guide to more
effective conversation. Today's episode Things men Say. Many problems in
romantic and marital relationships start because what we hear isn't
really what they mean. Today a look at twelve common
phrases that men use with their wife or girlfriend, what
women think they.
Speaker 6 (40:11):
Mean, and what they actually mean. Number one, When men say.
Speaker 8 (40:16):
Hey, can I help you make dinner? You think it means,
you know, I feel guilty because I don't do nearly
enough to help out around here, But it really means
why is dinner not already on the table.
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Number two when men say.
Speaker 5 (40:30):
Hey, I brought you a surprise.
Speaker 8 (40:32):
You think it means these roses are a spontaneous symbol
of my undying life, But it really means I stopped
at food Jeni to get beer and the girl in
the flower department was really hot.
Speaker 6 (40:47):
Number three. When men say you look.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
Great, honey, You think it means you look great honey,
but it really means, yeah, yeah, can we just go already?
Speaker 6 (40:58):
Number four when men say.
Speaker 8 (41:00):
You know, I really like your friend Julie. You think
it means I find most of your friends pretty annoying,
but Julie's not like that, But it really means Julie
is definitely your hottest friend.
Speaker 6 (41:13):
Number five. When men say I miss you, you think
it means.
Speaker 8 (41:18):
I miss you, but it really means we're out of
toilet paper and I can't find the pizza cutter. When
are you coming back?
Speaker 6 (41:26):
Number six. When men say whatever you want to do,
you think it means.
Speaker 8 (41:31):
I'll let you make the decision, but it really means
I couldn't possibly care less about the decision at hand,
and we both know we're going to do what you
want to do anyway, So could you please just tell
me what that is?
Speaker 6 (41:45):
Number seven.
Speaker 8 (41:46):
When men say I was kidding, you think it means oops,
you took that in the worst possible way. How can
I get out of this? But it really means oops,
I accidentally said what I really think? How can I
get out of this?
Speaker 6 (42:02):
Number eight.
Speaker 8 (42:02):
When men say let's take your car, you think it
means I don't really want to go, so I'm going
to make you drive me there, but it really means
I don't really want to go and my car is
completely out of gas.
Speaker 6 (42:15):
Number nine, When men say.
Speaker 8 (42:17):
Why are you making such a big deal about this?
You think it means why do you have to make
everything so overly dramatic? But it really means how in
the world did you find out about this? Number ten,
When men say you're right, I'm sorry. You think it
means I have no defense for my actions. I admit
(42:39):
my guilt and throw myself on the mercy of the court.
Speaker 6 (42:42):
But it really means, can you.
Speaker 8 (42:44):
Please stop talking?
Speaker 1 (42:45):
It's almost time for Sports Center.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
Number eleven, When men say.
Speaker 8 (42:51):
Yeah, that sounds great.
Speaker 6 (42:52):
You think it means to tell you the truth.
Speaker 8 (42:54):
I wasn't really listening, but sure, how bad could it be?
But it really means that is literally the most painful
idea I've ever heard. But I might want to see
you naked again at some point in the future.
Speaker 6 (43:09):
And finally, number twelve, When men say I love you,
you think it means I know.
Speaker 8 (43:15):
I don't say it often. I know I'm hard to
get along with sometimes, but in my own clumsy way,
I really do love you.
Speaker 6 (43:23):
But it really means this is.
Speaker 8 (43:24):
The point where I want to see you naked.
Speaker 15 (43:29):
And that concludes this edition of Big Show Language Lab
brought to you by Hard Graves potted meat products chalk
full of peckers and lips since nineteen thirty seven
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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