August 30, 2024 • 39 mins
Friday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, as we head into the Labor Day Holiday weekend, we’ll do our weekly salute to our favorite day of the week, Friday!.. - The Happy Boy Song gets an early spin.. - We’ll jump into the John Boy & Billy Playhouse with a new script entitled, “The Job Interview”.. - Duane Stomp from Blacktooth checks in for a court ordered public service announcement.. - John Boy unloads another one of his wonderful things.. - We’ll talk sports with Tom Sorenson.. - and we’ll finish up with Oliver on the subject of Women - Chapter One..
℗®© 2024 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Right, wait a minute,
will que Dwayne Storm for the Public service announce But yeah,
y'all think it mixed up and said, yes, the wonderful
thing give away in an hour. You have until after the
Big Show that's ten am Eastern to get your name
in the hat for the fishing cycles seven fifty x
altering e byte and that we're giving away. But actually
(00:26):
we'll give that away tomorrow and we'll have the winter
next week. But registration ends after our show today trien
am Eastern. Yep, there's a big countdown timer on the
site once you click on the thik from the Big
Show dot Com. Good deal, good deal. And by the way,
our prize pack for beating the Blonde is a big
(00:48):
old mount Olive pickle. Prize pack includes mount Olive hat,
T shirt and a three pack of pickle juicers. Play
for that en minutes. Be first. All right here we
are head into Labor Day week.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Okay, Dwayne, we're gonna try it once for just remember
it now, introduce yourself and read what's on the paper
in front of you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
You got it, Yeah, yeah, I got it?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Okay, fine, Dwayne Stomp Substance abuse awareness campaign.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
This is take nine. Wayne, Wayne is your cue?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Oh right, anytime you're ready?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Ready Dwayne go?
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Oh Hi, this is Dwayne Stump of Black Tooth Kids
when you drink and drive.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
No, Dwayne, No, no, it's not when you drink and drive.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Oh right right, Uh let me do it again?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Yeah, good idea. This is Dwayne Stomp. Yes a take ten.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Hi, this is Dwayne Stump when I drink and drive.
I'll go Dwayne.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Wait, this spot is supposed to be against driving while intoxicated.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
What never mind, We'll.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Do it one more time, and remember say don't do
drugs and if you must drink this holiday weekend, don't drive.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
You got it?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
And I told you a guy.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Fine, Dwayne Stomp PSA take what is it eleven?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
I'm Dwayne Stomp telling you if you do drugs this
is a weekend.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Don't you're a.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Wrong again, dween. It's don't do drugs. Don't do drugs.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Oh it's not what you said.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
You come in this booth, I show you how close
it was. Sheer luck.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
We're gonna do it again, Queen, say don't do drugs.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
If you must drink this holiday weekend, do not drive.
Take twelve.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
This is Dwayne Stump. Weekends are for drunks doing drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Okay, Wayne, thank you very much putting in. I think
with a little editing, we've got something we can use.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Don't do drugs and if this all day weekend, don't drive.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I love that. There's really a great message I think
for the it's in there. All right, Well, let's play
Beat the Blonde, Come on one eight hundred, Big Show
playing for that mount Olive Pickle Prize. Pack. Want to
let you know we are probably supporting the National Wheelchair
Basketball Association Team USA going for the gold of the
Paralympic Games in Paris. That's going on right now through September,
(03:38):
the eighth gold Team USA. There's an Iron priw sponsor
mount Olive Pickles. All right, let's play for it. Good morning,
(04:11):
there's a big show on the radio. We lag it
on Friday morning. Got a feature track for the Big Show,
Big Boxes Oliver on Women Chapter one. Those for Keyword
Chapter one brought to you by Lord Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers
at Ride Wrest for the custom Big Show Motorcycle at
Big Show Bike dot Com. He bike registration is today
(04:35):
we're gonna have this going on with the big show
motorcycle through at least looks like September riding now November first,
it's a drug, remember the Birsa awesome? All right at
the time, don't lay in an offer. And right now,
let's play for the big old Mount Olive Biggle's prize
backing registration I contest sentners Michael out a birch Wood, Tennessee.
(05:01):
Good morning, Michael, Hey body, welcome Michael. I'm gonna be
pulling for you. We asked Tana some questions. You agree
or disagree with her? Trying to get to the right answer.
Two bells will win it before two buzzers.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
You got it, buddy, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Calm down, stay chilled a Michael and Taylor. Let's look.
According to a recent study, are men or women better
at remembering names?
Speaker 7 (05:36):
Names of what.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Utensils?
Speaker 7 (05:44):
Men are better at remembering names.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Men are better at remembering names. She says Michael, So
do you agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Disagree?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Did you say disagree? Trid disagree and that was the
thing to do? Good work? Yes, Michael? Are you laying
in a hammock right now? You know what about Michael?
He's not him of male. Excuse me, women are far
superior at remembering both names and faces. Tater superior says,
(06:22):
so right here, superiors, what you all are? That's what
you said. It's all right, Michael Wimore mail and you
got to mount alli Pickle Prize pactate. According to psychologists,
should you feel guilty if you prefer falling in love
with younger men? Are you kidding me? At my age?
Speaker 7 (06:43):
That's just about all it's left. No, you shouldn't feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
No, you shouldn't feel guilty. Michael, Agree or disagree?
Speaker 8 (06:58):
H wanting to agree that something said disagree?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I guess I agree? So what what did you working at?
You will agree? I agree? And you and Taylor and
what you're gonna have to tell me what you know?
Speaker 6 (07:15):
You should not?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
No, he agreed, and that was an.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
I'll agree, But something's telling me to disagree, But I'll agree.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was trying to follow, Michael. You're not supposed to
eat all those gummies at one time. The words to
death about you, Michael. You hang on there, Bunny Jack
can hook you up when you mount all the pickles
prize by congratulations? All right, thank you, all right, buddy,
than you find him on the hour and Tommy you
(07:57):
and you right on the other side. Friday morning time
capsule didn't grumb me, old man twenty minutes looking good.
Speaker 9 (08:34):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 10 (08:49):
Today Who's Top ten list? Top ten things You'll never
hear a NASCAR driver say. Number ten. You know, I
just wouldn't feel safe up there without that restrictor plate.
Number nine. Gee, the race doesn't start for another couple
of minutes. I think I'll climb out of the car
and sign a few autographs.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Number eight.
Speaker 10 (09:08):
Hmm, this new body style seems to give our cars
a distinct advantage over the competition. I think NASCAR should
look into this immediately. Number seven. You know, I'm sure
is good to see Gordon get a win after that
long dry spell he's been going through. Number six. Look
it's John Boy with the garage pass. Hey, big guy
over here. Number five. I sure wish mss Winston would
(09:31):
stop pinching me on the butt during driver introduction.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Number four.
Speaker 10 (09:36):
Gee, guys, some of this stuff under the hood looks
a little fishy to me. Let's get Gary Nelson over
to take a look. Number three, Boy, those new T
shirt designs are a tad gaudy. Can we tone them
down a little bit? Number two, I'd like to thank
the Prince of Darkness for my victory today. And the
number one thing you'll never hear a NASCAR driver say
(09:57):
for Chevy. Heck, what different does it make, really, John.
Speaker 9 (10:08):
Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I'm gonna give you an engine, low on the ground, extra,
big old panel, cut the wind from underneath you. I'll
give you thirty forty more horse power.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I'm gonna give you a.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Fuel line and will hold then next to gallon the gas.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
I'm gonna shave half an inch off you and shape you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Like a bullet.
Speaker 9 (10:27):
Good morning, we're yelled, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Good morning, big showers. All all right, it's time for
the grumpy old man.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Ah liberty flu I'm old and I hate diversity. Diversity, diversity, equity,
and inclusion. This season's battle cry for the weird, deranged,
and misfits of society, forcing normal, god fear and citizens
to share their asylum. The Dictionary calls diversity of variety.
(11:29):
When I was a boy, the only diversity we cared
about was the variety of holes in the outhouse. Small
medium and fat aunt alice diversity bah forcing businesses to
hire folks that couldn't get jobs in a circuit side show,
blue hair head like a pincushion tattooed to a fairy
(11:53):
world needing a special bathroom?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Are they qualified? Can they do the job? Do they bathe?
Does it matter? You got the job? It's like that
Poltergeist movie. All a welcome.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Pretty soon. It's like you're playing a human version of
pokemont Go. There's a hopiet, non binary, albino dwarf in
the lobby. We ain't got one of them, quick, get
him on the payroll.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You're all white collar pet Bonham and all the hard.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
Working, faithful, long time employees get the wet end of
the stick, all in the name of being fair and inclusive.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Cram it up your turn tunnel.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Then all of a sudden, you gotta learn something called pronouns. Hey,
you called me, ma'am. It's plain to see. I'm a
z or, a zammer, a zepone dooo dot dip ond d.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And God help you.
Speaker 6 (12:51):
If you get it wrong, then it's off to human
resources for you to get re educated by one of
their kind. Training you spit out the other end, a compliant,
brainwashed zombie, and even though the company loses good employees
and longtime customers, they just keep going. So you're a
double spirit feminist who identifies as a unicorn and must
(13:14):
wear a bridle to work, and your office has to
be turned into a stall with only pink straw for bedding. Oh,
and you've got no experience in sales.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Welcome aboard.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
We'll get Bryce from accounting to clean your stall. In
my day, we had someone try that diversity garbage. Old
man Bumpus down a Bumpers General Store, decided to hire
the cranfill boy, Lester. Lester. Lester was special. He was
(13:51):
so light in the loaf as he floated a foot
above the ground. He didn't like boys or girls. He
fancied livestock, never went to church neither because he worshiped
the devil hisself, and as a topper, he was a witch.
But old man Bumpa started if he gave this helspon
a job, he could help change his ways.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well, Lester was told.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Around up the livestock before dark, but it was a
full moon and Lester was feeling frisky and cast a
magic spell on him. A few months later, the cows
and goats and horses gave birth to a litter of
demonic creatures, then rampaged across the countryside, and they ate
all our faces off and cracked them into the sewage runoff. Ah,
(14:33):
pigglety digglety ding dog.
Speaker 11 (14:35):
Damn it.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
We're a bunch of faceless hay seeds running from bovine
monsters and watching our lives be destroyed, all because some
well mean and dumbass felt compelled to hire a freak
instead of that lazy eyed Perkins girl with the one
big boob. All praise the power of good intentions. We
finally live in a civilized society built just for morons,
(15:01):
and we light it. We loved it. Oh crap, Papple snapple,
I hate diversity.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Good morning, big shows on a radio and more big
show right around the corner.
Speaker 12 (15:17):
This is buzz nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster. I've
never seen such carnage, and may I remind you that
I was at the Great Danna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Of nineteen ninety nine. This is much much worse.
Speaker 13 (15:31):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit at the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Now, can I turn in my expense receipts? It is
(16:21):
John Boys Wonderful Thing give away time every Friday morning
at this time, some lucky Big Show listeners put their
name in Hatothebigshow dot Com. That's eligible And this week
the winner of the brand new double XL T shirt
(16:41):
from Ghost Strike Fishing Jacob Lee from Mount Olive, North Carolina.
Right about that wonderful Mount Olive, North Carolina. They might
be close to the corner of Cucumber and Vine with
Mount Olive pickles. It He's lucky, Jacob, you got you
(17:02):
Ego Strike Fishing tea shirt. Fishly yours will get it
to you. I y'all, you are gonna love my wonderful
Thing Number one hundred and seventeen. Darlington's racing this Sunday,
Labor Day weekend, and I got the Legends of Darlington
bud Pole Day collectible ticket autograph by David Pearson. Yes
(17:31):
there is David on the cover of this ticket, along
with Dale Earnhard it's from Friday, March seventeenth, two thousand
at Darlington. All right, man, take a look at it
and register to win it. Good luck, it's all happening
that the Big Show dot com. Good morning, got the
(17:53):
Big Show on the radio. Coming up. We play wordy word,
your last chance to get your name in the hat
for the backpack for fishing cycles and well you're gonna
win that ride off when you win warding word, but
this will be your name and hat for the seven
fifty x all terrain e byke that we're cutting off
registration right when the show winds today. Alrighty, well, right now,
(18:15):
we ain't cutting off our man Tom's hornson like you
did me last week. That's just a little joke between
me and Tom and Brandy. Welcome to this, Welcome to
as well. All right, all right, I'm NFL body. We're
getting so close. We're done with the preseason, real NFL
football next Thursday.
Speaker 8 (18:36):
That is tremendous because every preseason seems longer than the
one before, and we just get pumped out and I
am pumped for this season and let's go.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Let's do it. So today you were going to well, well,
first layout the games for us, there's one game next
Thursday night, then one Friday, then none Saturday, thirteen on
Sunday in one month night all right, that is next weekend. Today,
you're gonna pick the AFC and NFC champions and the
Super Bowl winner.
Speaker 8 (19:08):
You are correct, and I will pick the winner of
Thursday's game.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Every game this season, you will pick like you've done
for how many years have have you kept up with it?
Speaker 9 (19:18):
Rand you?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Tony two? Come on? I need really have any I.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Don't know, I don't know. I mean, it's it's it's
you know, time flies when you're having a good time,
and it's just it's been so easy, and it's it's
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
We should have kept records, you know this whole time, Randy,
I bet we could go back. I'm doing that just
for that. Look so anyway, So yeah, so this year
will be no different. You'll pick every game. You'll offer
at least one lock a week, and if you live
in a state in which online gambling is legal, hopefully
(19:54):
you'll make a little money. If it's not legal, good
luck anyway.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
Yeah, there will be a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:01):
The key is picking every single game, and the key is,
you know, looking the numbers and just coming up with
at least one lock to recommend for those members of
the jumbo and billy betting public.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Okay, well, let's start with Thursday's NFL opener, Baltimore at
Kansas City.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
This is interesting to me for a lot of reasons.
Casey has just been the dominant franchise. They've won two
straight Super Bowls and three and five years Baltimore wought
a better record. Last season regular season record, they were
thirteen and four, two games better than Casey, Casey's favorite.
But this is interesting. Baltimore has not lost an opener
(20:45):
since twoenty fifteen, and they won every opener, but by
at least double figures. I mean, that's impressive. And Lamar Jackson,
they're very, very mobile quarterback has lost weight, which means
you ought to be faster. But uh, Baltimore's lost three
of its starting linemen and they also lost their defensive coordinator,
(21:07):
who is great. He is now the head coach in Seattle.
I think case he remembers what they did, and they
were open their last season when they lost to Detroit,
and I think they just come out on fire and
I like the Chiefs to win this one.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
By a touchdown.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
See that's the kind of stuff you get when you
listen to i'man Tom Sorenson in it. You're taking Kansas
in it for the first game this season. Super Bowl?
What is this? This is super Bowl Licks. I'm gonna
call it l I.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
A super Bowl Licks February nine in New Orleans and
L I X means a whole bunch.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
That's dumb, man, Why do we just use real numbers?
Speaker 8 (21:52):
This one is when it's the first one I've been
able to pronounce, man, So I'm sticking with the Roman numerals.
But it's I tell you, the favorites are the same
teams that excelled a year ago. But I don't think
that happens. I think there's a couple of teams that
can break through that finish nine and eight last season.
One of Cincinnati, which finished last in its division, and
(22:15):
the other is Green Bay. And I think Houston's going
to be tough. I tell you a team I like
that's not getting much attention as the Bengals. They finished last,
as I said in the AFC North. But Joe Burrow,
they fantastic quarterback, missed seven games. Now he's played eleven
games in the season only a couple times. One was
in twenty twenty one, was in twenty twenty two. One
(22:39):
of them made the Super Bowl, and then one of
them made they made the AFC Championship. I think Burrow
stays healthy, and I think he shocks the NFL world,
and in case he wears down, I think Baltimore fades.
I think Houston's still too young. And I think the
Bengals make the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Ooh, they're the first pick. Cincinnati Bengals will play in
Super Bowl fifty nine thanks to our researcher Dator fifty
nine Super Bowl. So all right, so you got Cincinnati
on one side. What about NFC.
Speaker 8 (23:11):
At Detroit And I'll tell you Green Bay are going
to be really good again. But San Francisco just has
it Rock Perdy their quarterback. We'll have one more year
of experience. I think McCaffrey's going to be great again,
and they just have so many good players and I
think they may they represent the NFC. And two predictions
(23:31):
in the Super Bowl. One is that San Francisco beats
the Bengals thirty one twenty seven. The other is that
sixty five percent of the fans get so hammered. They
can't find the cars.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's New Orleans. All right, Tom, out there you go
Cincinnati and give me that score again. With Super Bowl
fifty nine coming.
Speaker 8 (23:53):
Up, Yeah, forty nine Ers thirty one and the Bengals
twenty seven thirty one.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
When you heard it first, right here, Kansas City will
not three pete uh? He said, you got a couple
of bonus picks, right quick, forced.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Tom, Yeah, New England's gonna be the worst team in
the NFL. And Carolina is not over under for Carolina
is five and a half and they will win six
games this season.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All right, meet, you're right here. Next Friday, a full
weekend of NFL football. Tom, Thank you, buddy, It's gonna
be fun. Thank you. All right, boy, Let's playworthy word one,
ain't hundred Big Show you told free line, Get a
couple of contestants and play next. Good morning, and it's
(24:57):
a big show on the radio. Runna do your Friday.
In today's feature track from The Big Show, Big Box,
Oliver on women chapter one, He Word chapter one, Who
the Big Bogs at the Big Show dot com? Writing
by Lord Talger's motorcycle Lars and Ride. You can win
the Big Show Motorcycle. That's Big Show Bike dot com.
(25:17):
If we go on the link at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 12 (25:19):
And right now and everybody's head about the.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Battle burdy word better word they word. Let's meet their contestants.
We got Chester from Knoxville, Tennesseega. Morning Chester, Good morning,
John boy, welcome buddy. Hey. We got Kent from Chester, Virginia.
About that. Good morning Kent, Yes, thanks, good morning, first
(25:43):
time calling. That is that could work?
Speaker 9 (25:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Is Kent from Chester playing Chester from Knoxville. Crazy? All right,
neighboring states tones see Virgina. I like it, So Kent
your own team Tater Chester on a John Bore mill
of silence does mean you go for the first thirty seconds?
Speaker 9 (26:04):
All right?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Can't you rely? Chester? Are you ready?
Speaker 8 (26:08):
I am ready?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Okay, start the clock now, eat breakfast, give me some
blank and eggs not sausage, but yes, uh huh hawk
tooy chew tobacco. What do you do? Yes? All right?
This is blank transmission, not a manual. It's blank. No,
(26:30):
it's another word. I can't no, they'll for forget that.
It comes blank. It's not add ons. This is it
comes you buy it and it's just wow. That's a
tough one. I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
Man.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Two on the board. Yeah, that was all me. All right, Well,
Kent and Tater picking up on that last one.
Speaker 7 (26:52):
Go, it's the best. It's the gold blank.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Standard. Yes, good word.
Speaker 7 (26:58):
This is what they call when you're a close a
blank malfunction. Janet had one, a blank malfunction. Her clothes
came off. What are her clothes called? Oh, it's like
a yes, sir. This one is like, you're not you're
not fake, you're the real deal. You are blank he blink.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Uh, all right, well I believe we picked up a
hard table. Keep doing No, let's keep going with it now.
Two to two, anybody's game. So back up there, all right,
(27:42):
what are you doing? Baby? I don't worry about it. Okay,
here it is all right, jes there we're picking up
on that last one. Ready, go, this is a real deal.
He's the blank originally No another word like that. Uh
(28:07):
so he's well, the very first one thes some it's
some phrase.
Speaker 7 (28:15):
But I can't think of.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Miller draft blank Miller draft, Miller blank draft. It's a
word in there. No go on in there, keep going.
It's on a beer. I can see it. Oh, man, suck.
It's still a two. So Kim and Tayter. All I
(28:40):
got to do is get this one. You have time
to think about it. Don't go on it.
Speaker 7 (28:46):
Ready to go, Hey Miller blank draft, Yeah, one, genuine.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Genuine for the wind, I go. I'm taking his tablet
and through well dog gone to Jesse, came up a
little shore. If we're gonna try again, all right, Jackie,
make Chester happen again. We got a trick. I'm gonna
try it again, tough Chester. Have a great rest of
(29:14):
your day of Knoxville. Buddy, appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Thanks Sicker.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Why you should be?
Because you are dirt. You may be sick.
Speaker 12 (29:27):
You big baby baby.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Want a bot a big dirt butter. Have a great day.
Thanks NDI. You're I'm a can't up in Chester beating
Chester for the Fiction Cycles prize back. You might be
one of the last names going in the hat. We
cut off registration for our e bike right after the
big show today, Buddy, So congratulations.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Good morning. Got the big shoulder radio onward upward. Our
big request from Sam Norris out of Henderson, North Carolina.
Sam says my grandmother was a huge Jerry Lewis fan,
and your bit about his album is too funny. Let's
hear it, Sam, only your grandmama coming up next Good Morning,
(30:39):
This will make show on the radio under of Sam Norrises.
Grandmama out of Henderson, North Carolina, requested b this morning.
Speaker 14 (30:48):
For over seven decades, he was America's clown, comedian, actor, singer, filmmaker,
and humanitarian. He was born Joseph Levitch, but you knew
him as the King of comedy.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Jerry Lewis, Hey, lock you out with the thing, Please
don't hurt my things.
Speaker 14 (31:11):
In twenty seventeen, Jerry went to that Big Friars Club
in the sky, but he left behind a legacy of
love and laughter. When his estate was cataloged, a number
of Jerry's personal projects were uncovered. Now, for the first
time ever, Don't Tell Records is proud to announce a
brand new album of sensational hiss Jerry Lewis.
Speaker 11 (31:34):
Hey, lady, she's a lady.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Wow, Wow, Well she's a lady.
Speaker 9 (31:42):
I want to.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Touch that sexy lay baby.
Speaker 9 (31:46):
Ooh, but she's got a.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
Ooh w are you loring above it?
Speaker 9 (31:52):
Though?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Green nine?
Speaker 9 (31:59):
Lay missus? Lady know you w learn have some fun.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
Green eyed Lady, naughty Lady, I don't care that.
Speaker 9 (32:19):
You're not.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
Lady Madonna, children and your breast.
Speaker 11 (32:38):
If you pain your pop off, we can see.
Speaker 4 (32:41):
The rest.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
O.
Speaker 14 (32:47):
Only Jerry Lewis could take classic songs from every era
and make them his own.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
Jess one why.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Three times the sound Eyes of a.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
Lady and I can't len.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
She's five six.
Speaker 6 (33:18):
Seven times the size of a lady. Wow by Hernia
mesh Patch is exploding.
Speaker 14 (33:26):
The heart of a comedian, the soul of a poet,
the voice of a songbird. Jerry Lewis presents Hey Lady,
Available now on Don't Tell Records and available for download
at www dot.
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Lavin, dot schwet, very Clipton dot com. O.
Speaker 12 (33:49):
Dude looks like a lady.
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Dude looks like a lady.
Speaker 9 (33:55):
Jenny.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
Jerry Lewis, Hey Lady, Order now.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
That's just stupid. Good morning is a big show on
(34:32):
the radio. Our featured track fan to make show big
box olivery on women. Chapter one, then to have his
key word is chapter one. Right here we go.
Speaker 11 (34:48):
When it comes to finding the right woman, don't ever
ever fall for her, saying I'm not like anyone you've
ever met before. Nonsense.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
She's a woman, isn't she.
Speaker 11 (35:05):
And except for physical traits, either real or manufactured, all
women are exactly alike. Manipulative, clingy, insane. As hard as
it is to do at some time, look into a
(35:26):
woman's eyes, look hard, and if you look hard enough,
you can clearly see the circus that's going on in
her head. Clowns, midgets and freaks everywhere, and they're all
(35:48):
armed with knives, pitchforks, and flamethrowers, and they're coming after you.
Criticize her weight constantly. This keeps a woman off balance
and self critical, and being a woman, she is far
(36:08):
more absorbed in herself than she ever will be in you.
This is a plus. While she's obsessing in the mirror,
run for your life. Although she will always deny it.
She hates your friends. Why. The answer is simple, you
(36:33):
have fun with them. She will never understand in a
million years why you can't endlessly listen to her jabber
about all the things that are important to her, namely
all the things that aren't important to you. Another classic denial,
(37:00):
I like you just the way you are. When this
phrase escapes a woman's lips, prepare for the mother of
all battles. This is the comment that will send even
the four horsemen of the Apocalypse riding in the other direction.
(37:21):
It will start with the little things like her picking
out your clothes for you, but then comes the escalation.
Cut your hair, don't bite your nails, shave that beard,
eat more fruit, pick up those clothes, make more money,
(37:44):
drive a nicer car. We need a begger house. And
then finally the kiss of death. Come home right now
when it comes to this, find the nearest cliff and
drive off it. And finally, always remember, women don't want you.
(38:12):
They want you to be someone else. You're merely a
blank canvas, an empty vessel, a clean slate for them
to create their masterpiece. And they're going to turn you
into that work of art if it kills you. And
if it does kill you, why they'll just find some
(38:36):
other hapless love stop moron to destroy.
Speaker 15 (38:41):
Women. Are the eternal emails, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Deet boxes.
Speaker 10 (38:58):
Here all your favorites before decades in The Big Show
ninety nine says He's fifteen for nine ninety nine by
him once play you anywhere. Shopping Blitbox online at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Order Big Show Stuff I follow.
Speaker 10 (39:08):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff Online Services by anime dot com.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
This is any big show today, Don't let that happen.
CAUs it up. John Obill and Late Rossers podcast Man.
Wherever you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free iHeartRadio al Ai Hey, res your days,
you own tomorrow, Love you mane it
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Right, wait a minute,
will que Dwayne Storm for the Public service announce But yeah,
y'all think it mixed up and said, yes, the wonderful
thing give away in an hour. You have until after the
Big Show that's ten am Eastern to get your name
in the hat for the fishing cycles seven fifty x
altering e byte and that we're giving away. But actually
(00:26):
we'll give that away tomorrow and we'll have the winter
next week. But registration ends after our show today trien
am Eastern. Yep, there's a big countdown timer on the
site once you click on the thik from the Big
Show dot Com. Good deal, good deal. And by the way,
our prize pack for beating the Blonde is a big
(00:48):
old mount Olive pickle. Prize pack includes mount Olive hat,
T shirt and a three pack of pickle juicers. Play
for that en minutes. Be first. All right here we
are head into Labor Day week.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Okay, Dwayne, we're gonna try it once for just remember
it now, introduce yourself and read what's on the paper
in front of you.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
You got it, Yeah, yeah, I got it?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Okay, fine, Dwayne Stomp Substance abuse awareness campaign.
Speaker 4 (01:14):
This is take nine. Wayne, Wayne is your cue?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Oh right, anytime you're ready?
Speaker 4 (01:26):
Ready Dwayne go?
Speaker 5 (01:32):
Oh Hi, this is Dwayne Stump of Black Tooth Kids
when you drink and drive.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
No, Dwayne, No, no, it's not when you drink and drive.
Speaker 5 (01:44):
Oh right right, Uh let me do it again?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Yeah, good idea. This is Dwayne Stomp. Yes a take ten.
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Hi, this is Dwayne Stump when I drink and drive.
I'll go Dwayne.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Wait, this spot is supposed to be against driving while intoxicated.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
What never mind, We'll.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Do it one more time, and remember say don't do
drugs and if you must drink this holiday weekend, don't drive.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
You got it?
Speaker 3 (02:17):
And I told you a guy.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Fine, Dwayne Stomp PSA take what is it eleven?
Speaker 5 (02:24):
I'm Dwayne Stomp telling you if you do drugs this
is a weekend.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Don't you're a.
Speaker 4 (02:30):
Wrong again, dween. It's don't do drugs. Don't do drugs.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
That's what I said.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Oh it's not what you said.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
You come in this booth, I show you how close
it was. Sheer luck.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
We're gonna do it again, Queen, say don't do drugs.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
If you must drink this holiday weekend, do not drive.
Take twelve.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
This is Dwayne Stump. Weekends are for drunks doing drugs.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
Okay, Wayne, thank you very much putting in. I think
with a little editing, we've got something we can use.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Don't do drugs and if this all day weekend, don't drive.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
I love that. There's really a great message I think
for the it's in there. All right, Well, let's play
Beat the Blonde, Come on one eight hundred, Big Show
playing for that mount Olive Pickle Prize. Pack. Want to
let you know we are probably supporting the National Wheelchair
Basketball Association Team USA going for the gold of the
Paralympic Games in Paris. That's going on right now through September,
(03:38):
the eighth gold Team USA. There's an Iron priw sponsor
mount Olive Pickles. All right, let's play for it. Good morning,
(04:11):
there's a big show on the radio. We lag it
on Friday morning. Got a feature track for the Big Show,
Big Boxes Oliver on Women Chapter one. Those for Keyword
Chapter one brought to you by Lord Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers
at Ride Wrest for the custom Big Show Motorcycle at
Big Show Bike dot Com. He bike registration is today
(04:35):
we're gonna have this going on with the big show
motorcycle through at least looks like September riding now November first,
it's a drug, remember the Birsa awesome? All right at
the time, don't lay in an offer. And right now,
let's play for the big old Mount Olive Biggle's prize
backing registration I contest sentners Michael out a birch Wood, Tennessee.
(05:01):
Good morning, Michael, Hey body, welcome Michael. I'm gonna be
pulling for you. We asked Tana some questions. You agree
or disagree with her? Trying to get to the right answer.
Two bells will win it before two buzzers.
Speaker 6 (05:17):
You got it, buddy, Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Calm down, stay chilled a Michael and Taylor. Let's look.
According to a recent study, are men or women better
at remembering names?
Speaker 7 (05:36):
Names of what.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Utensils?
Speaker 7 (05:44):
Men are better at remembering names.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Men are better at remembering names. She says Michael, So
do you agree or disagree?
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Disagree?
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Did you say disagree? Trid disagree and that was the
thing to do? Good work? Yes, Michael? Are you laying
in a hammock right now? You know what about Michael?
He's not him of male. Excuse me, women are far
superior at remembering both names and faces. Tater superior says,
(06:22):
so right here, superiors, what you all are? That's what
you said. It's all right, Michael Wimore mail and you
got to mount alli Pickle Prize pactate. According to psychologists,
should you feel guilty if you prefer falling in love
with younger men? Are you kidding me? At my age?
Speaker 7 (06:43):
That's just about all it's left. No, you shouldn't feel guilty.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
No, you shouldn't feel guilty. Michael, Agree or disagree?
Speaker 8 (06:58):
H wanting to agree that something said disagree?
Speaker 1 (07:03):
I guess I agree? So what what did you working at?
You will agree? I agree? And you and Taylor and
what you're gonna have to tell me what you know?
Speaker 6 (07:15):
You should not?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
No, he agreed, and that was an.
Speaker 7 (07:26):
I'll agree, But something's telling me to disagree, But I'll agree.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I was trying to follow, Michael. You're not supposed to
eat all those gummies at one time. The words to
death about you, Michael. You hang on there, Bunny Jack
can hook you up when you mount all the pickles
prize by congratulations? All right, thank you, all right, buddy,
than you find him on the hour and Tommy you
(07:57):
and you right on the other side. Friday morning time
capsule didn't grumb me, old man twenty minutes looking good.
Speaker 9 (08:34):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show,
the South's number one export.
Speaker 10 (08:49):
Today Who's Top ten list? Top ten things You'll never
hear a NASCAR driver say. Number ten. You know, I
just wouldn't feel safe up there without that restrictor plate.
Number nine. Gee, the race doesn't start for another couple
of minutes. I think I'll climb out of the car
and sign a few autographs.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Number eight.
Speaker 10 (09:08):
Hmm, this new body style seems to give our cars
a distinct advantage over the competition. I think NASCAR should
look into this immediately. Number seven. You know, I'm sure
is good to see Gordon get a win after that
long dry spell he's been going through. Number six. Look
it's John Boy with the garage pass. Hey, big guy
over here. Number five. I sure wish mss Winston would
(09:31):
stop pinching me on the butt during driver introduction.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Number four.
Speaker 10 (09:36):
Gee, guys, some of this stuff under the hood looks
a little fishy to me. Let's get Gary Nelson over
to take a look. Number three, Boy, those new T
shirt designs are a tad gaudy. Can we tone them
down a little bit? Number two, I'd like to thank
the Prince of Darkness for my victory today. And the
number one thing you'll never hear a NASCAR driver say
(09:57):
for Chevy. Heck, what different does it make, really, John.
Speaker 9 (10:08):
Boy and Billy.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I'm gonna give you an engine, low on the ground, extra,
big old panel, cut the wind from underneath you. I'll
give you thirty forty more horse power.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
I'm gonna give you a.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Fuel line and will hold then next to gallon the gas.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
I'm gonna shave half an inch off you and shape you.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Like a bullet.
Speaker 9 (10:27):
Good morning, we're yelled, dumb right.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Good morning, big showers. All all right, it's time for
the grumpy old man.
Speaker 6 (11:06):
Ah liberty flu I'm old and I hate diversity. Diversity, diversity, equity,
and inclusion. This season's battle cry for the weird, deranged,
and misfits of society, forcing normal, god fear and citizens
to share their asylum. The Dictionary calls diversity of variety.
(11:29):
When I was a boy, the only diversity we cared
about was the variety of holes in the outhouse. Small
medium and fat aunt alice diversity bah forcing businesses to
hire folks that couldn't get jobs in a circuit side show,
blue hair head like a pincushion tattooed to a fairy
(11:53):
world needing a special bathroom?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
Are they qualified? Can they do the job? Do they bathe?
Does it matter? You got the job? It's like that
Poltergeist movie. All a welcome.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
Pretty soon. It's like you're playing a human version of
pokemont Go. There's a hopiet, non binary, albino dwarf in
the lobby. We ain't got one of them, quick, get
him on the payroll.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You're all white collar pet Bonham and all the hard.
Speaker 6 (12:23):
Working, faithful, long time employees get the wet end of
the stick, all in the name of being fair and inclusive.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
Cram it up your turn tunnel.
Speaker 6 (12:36):
Then all of a sudden, you gotta learn something called pronouns. Hey,
you called me, ma'am. It's plain to see. I'm a
z or, a zammer, a zepone dooo dot dip ond d.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
And God help you.
Speaker 6 (12:51):
If you get it wrong, then it's off to human
resources for you to get re educated by one of
their kind. Training you spit out the other end, a compliant,
brainwashed zombie, and even though the company loses good employees
and longtime customers, they just keep going. So you're a
double spirit feminist who identifies as a unicorn and must
(13:14):
wear a bridle to work, and your office has to
be turned into a stall with only pink straw for bedding. Oh,
and you've got no experience in sales.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Welcome aboard.
Speaker 6 (13:27):
We'll get Bryce from accounting to clean your stall. In
my day, we had someone try that diversity garbage. Old
man Bumpus down a Bumpers General Store, decided to hire
the cranfill boy, Lester. Lester. Lester was special. He was
(13:51):
so light in the loaf as he floated a foot
above the ground. He didn't like boys or girls. He
fancied livestock, never went to church neither because he worshiped
the devil hisself, and as a topper, he was a witch.
But old man Bumpa started if he gave this helspon
a job, he could help change his ways.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Well, Lester was told.
Speaker 6 (14:13):
Around up the livestock before dark, but it was a
full moon and Lester was feeling frisky and cast a
magic spell on him. A few months later, the cows
and goats and horses gave birth to a litter of
demonic creatures, then rampaged across the countryside, and they ate
all our faces off and cracked them into the sewage runoff. Ah,
(14:33):
pigglety digglety ding dog.
Speaker 11 (14:35):
Damn it.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
We're a bunch of faceless hay seeds running from bovine
monsters and watching our lives be destroyed, all because some
well mean and dumbass felt compelled to hire a freak
instead of that lazy eyed Perkins girl with the one
big boob. All praise the power of good intentions. We
finally live in a civilized society built just for morons,
(15:01):
and we light it. We loved it. Oh crap, Papple snapple,
I hate diversity.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Good morning, big shows on a radio and more big
show right around the corner.
Speaker 12 (15:17):
This is buzz nutlet with a bulletin Big Show Knows
reporter live on the scene of a major disaster. I've
never seen such carnage, and may I remind you that
I was at the Great Danna Pass Barbecue eating the buckle.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Of nineteen ninety nine. This is much much worse.
Speaker 13 (15:31):
It's a massacre of mammoth proportions the tattered caucasses of
other morning shows lit at the battlefield. You're listening to
the victors in this morning radio war John Boy and
Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Now, can I turn in my expense receipts? It is
(16:21):
John Boys Wonderful Thing give away time every Friday morning
at this time, some lucky Big Show listeners put their
name in Hatothebigshow dot Com. That's eligible And this week
the winner of the brand new double XL T shirt
(16:41):
from Ghost Strike Fishing Jacob Lee from Mount Olive, North Carolina.
Right about that wonderful Mount Olive, North Carolina. They might
be close to the corner of Cucumber and Vine with
Mount Olive pickles. It He's lucky, Jacob, you got you
(17:02):
Ego Strike Fishing tea shirt. Fishly yours will get it
to you. I y'all, you are gonna love my wonderful
Thing Number one hundred and seventeen. Darlington's racing this Sunday,
Labor Day weekend, and I got the Legends of Darlington
bud Pole Day collectible ticket autograph by David Pearson. Yes
(17:31):
there is David on the cover of this ticket, along
with Dale Earnhard it's from Friday, March seventeenth, two thousand
at Darlington. All right, man, take a look at it
and register to win it. Good luck, it's all happening
that the Big Show dot com. Good morning, got the
(17:53):
Big Show on the radio. Coming up. We play wordy word,
your last chance to get your name in the hat
for the backpack for fishing cycles and well you're gonna
win that ride off when you win warding word, but
this will be your name and hat for the seven
fifty x all terrain e byke that we're cutting off
registration right when the show winds today. Alrighty, well, right now,
(18:15):
we ain't cutting off our man Tom's hornson like you
did me last week. That's just a little joke between
me and Tom and Brandy. Welcome to this, Welcome to
as well. All right, all right, I'm NFL body. We're
getting so close. We're done with the preseason, real NFL
football next Thursday.
Speaker 8 (18:36):
That is tremendous because every preseason seems longer than the
one before, and we just get pumped out and I
am pumped for this season and let's go.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Let's do it. So today you were going to well, well,
first layout the games for us, there's one game next
Thursday night, then one Friday, then none Saturday, thirteen on
Sunday in one month night all right, that is next weekend. Today,
you're gonna pick the AFC and NFC champions and the
Super Bowl winner.
Speaker 8 (19:08):
You are correct, and I will pick the winner of
Thursday's game.
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Every game this season, you will pick like you've done
for how many years have have you kept up with it?
Speaker 9 (19:18):
Rand you?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Tony two? Come on? I need really have any I.
Speaker 8 (19:22):
Don't know, I don't know. I mean, it's it's it's
you know, time flies when you're having a good time,
and it's just it's been so easy, and it's it's
I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
We should have kept records, you know this whole time, Randy,
I bet we could go back. I'm doing that just
for that. Look so anyway, So yeah, so this year
will be no different. You'll pick every game. You'll offer
at least one lock a week, and if you live
in a state in which online gambling is legal, hopefully
(19:54):
you'll make a little money. If it's not legal, good
luck anyway.
Speaker 8 (20:00):
Yeah, there will be a lot.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (20:01):
The key is picking every single game, and the key is,
you know, looking the numbers and just coming up with
at least one lock to recommend for those members of
the jumbo and billy betting public.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Okay, well, let's start with Thursday's NFL opener, Baltimore at
Kansas City.
Speaker 8 (20:23):
This is interesting to me for a lot of reasons.
Casey has just been the dominant franchise. They've won two
straight Super Bowls and three and five years Baltimore wought
a better record. Last season regular season record, they were
thirteen and four, two games better than Casey, Casey's favorite.
But this is interesting. Baltimore has not lost an opener
(20:45):
since twoenty fifteen, and they won every opener, but by
at least double figures. I mean, that's impressive. And Lamar Jackson,
they're very, very mobile quarterback has lost weight, which means
you ought to be faster. But uh, Baltimore's lost three
of its starting linemen and they also lost their defensive coordinator,
(21:07):
who is great. He is now the head coach in Seattle.
I think case he remembers what they did, and they
were open their last season when they lost to Detroit,
and I think they just come out on fire and
I like the Chiefs to win this one.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
By a touchdown.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
See that's the kind of stuff you get when you
listen to i'man Tom Sorenson in it. You're taking Kansas
in it for the first game this season. Super Bowl?
What is this? This is super Bowl Licks. I'm gonna
call it l I.
Speaker 8 (21:35):
A super Bowl Licks February nine in New Orleans and
L I X means a whole bunch.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
That's dumb, man, Why do we just use real numbers?
Speaker 8 (21:52):
This one is when it's the first one I've been
able to pronounce, man, So I'm sticking with the Roman numerals.
But it's I tell you, the favorites are the same
teams that excelled a year ago. But I don't think
that happens. I think there's a couple of teams that
can break through that finish nine and eight last season.
One of Cincinnati, which finished last in its division, and
(22:15):
the other is Green Bay. And I think Houston's going
to be tough. I tell you a team I like
that's not getting much attention as the Bengals. They finished last,
as I said in the AFC North. But Joe Burrow,
they fantastic quarterback, missed seven games. Now he's played eleven
games in the season only a couple times. One was
in twenty twenty one, was in twenty twenty two. One
(22:39):
of them made the Super Bowl, and then one of
them made they made the AFC Championship. I think Burrow
stays healthy, and I think he shocks the NFL world,
and in case he wears down, I think Baltimore fades.
I think Houston's still too young. And I think the
Bengals make the Super Bowl.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Ooh, they're the first pick. Cincinnati Bengals will play in
Super Bowl fifty nine thanks to our researcher Dator fifty
nine Super Bowl. So all right, so you got Cincinnati
on one side. What about NFC.
Speaker 8 (23:11):
At Detroit And I'll tell you Green Bay are going
to be really good again. But San Francisco just has
it Rock Perdy their quarterback. We'll have one more year
of experience. I think McCaffrey's going to be great again,
and they just have so many good players and I
think they may they represent the NFC. And two predictions
(23:31):
in the Super Bowl. One is that San Francisco beats
the Bengals thirty one twenty seven. The other is that
sixty five percent of the fans get so hammered. They
can't find the cars.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
It's New Orleans. All right, Tom, out there you go
Cincinnati and give me that score again. With Super Bowl
fifty nine coming.
Speaker 8 (23:53):
Up, Yeah, forty nine Ers thirty one and the Bengals
twenty seven thirty one.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
When you heard it first, right here, Kansas City will
not three pete uh? He said, you got a couple
of bonus picks, right quick, forced.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
Tom, Yeah, New England's gonna be the worst team in
the NFL. And Carolina is not over under for Carolina
is five and a half and they will win six
games this season.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All right, meet, you're right here. Next Friday, a full
weekend of NFL football. Tom, Thank you, buddy, It's gonna
be fun. Thank you. All right, boy, Let's playworthy word one,
ain't hundred Big Show you told free line, Get a
couple of contestants and play next. Good morning, and it's
(24:57):
a big show on the radio. Runna do your Friday.
In today's feature track from The Big Show, Big Box,
Oliver on women chapter one, He Word chapter one, Who
the Big Bogs at the Big Show dot com? Writing
by Lord Talger's motorcycle Lars and Ride. You can win
the Big Show Motorcycle. That's Big Show Bike dot com.
(25:17):
If we go on the link at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 12 (25:19):
And right now and everybody's head about the.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Battle burdy word better word they word. Let's meet their contestants.
We got Chester from Knoxville, Tennesseega. Morning Chester, Good morning,
John boy, welcome buddy. Hey. We got Kent from Chester, Virginia.
About that. Good morning Kent, Yes, thanks, good morning, first
(25:43):
time calling. That is that could work?
Speaker 9 (25:47):
Right?
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Is Kent from Chester playing Chester from Knoxville. Crazy? All right,
neighboring states tones see Virgina. I like it, So Kent
your own team Tater Chester on a John Bore mill
of silence does mean you go for the first thirty seconds?
Speaker 9 (26:04):
All right?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Can't you rely? Chester? Are you ready?
Speaker 8 (26:08):
I am ready?
Speaker 1 (26:10):
Okay, start the clock now, eat breakfast, give me some
blank and eggs not sausage, but yes, uh huh hawk
tooy chew tobacco. What do you do? Yes? All right?
This is blank transmission, not a manual. It's blank. No,
(26:30):
it's another word. I can't no, they'll for forget that.
It comes blank. It's not add ons. This is it
comes you buy it and it's just wow. That's a
tough one. I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
Man.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Two on the board. Yeah, that was all me. All right, Well,
Kent and Tater picking up on that last one.
Speaker 7 (26:52):
Go, it's the best. It's the gold blank.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Standard. Yes, good word.
Speaker 7 (26:58):
This is what they call when you're a close a
blank malfunction. Janet had one, a blank malfunction. Her clothes
came off. What are her clothes called? Oh, it's like
a yes, sir. This one is like, you're not you're
not fake, you're the real deal. You are blank he blink.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Uh, all right, well I believe we picked up a
hard table. Keep doing No, let's keep going with it now.
Two to two, anybody's game. So back up there, all right,
(27:42):
what are you doing? Baby? I don't worry about it. Okay,
here it is all right, jes there we're picking up
on that last one. Ready, go, this is a real deal.
He's the blank originally No another word like that. Uh
(28:07):
so he's well, the very first one thes some it's
some phrase.
Speaker 7 (28:15):
But I can't think of.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Miller draft blank Miller draft, Miller blank draft. It's a
word in there. No go on in there, keep going.
It's on a beer. I can see it. Oh, man, suck.
It's still a two. So Kim and Tayter. All I
(28:40):
got to do is get this one. You have time
to think about it. Don't go on it.
Speaker 7 (28:46):
Ready to go, Hey Miller blank draft, Yeah, one, genuine.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Genuine for the wind, I go. I'm taking his tablet
and through well dog gone to Jesse, came up a
little shore. If we're gonna try again, all right, Jackie,
make Chester happen again. We got a trick. I'm gonna
try it again, tough Chester. Have a great rest of
(29:14):
your day of Knoxville. Buddy, appreciate you.
Speaker 5 (29:16):
Thanks Sicker.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Why you should be?
Because you are dirt. You may be sick.
Speaker 12 (29:27):
You big baby baby.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Want a bot a big dirt butter. Have a great day.
Thanks NDI. You're I'm a can't up in Chester beating
Chester for the Fiction Cycles prize back. You might be
one of the last names going in the hat. We
cut off registration for our e bike right after the
big show today, Buddy, So congratulations.
Speaker 6 (29:52):
Thank you very much.
Speaker 1 (29:55):
Good morning. Got the big shoulder radio onward upward. Our
big request from Sam Norris out of Henderson, North Carolina.
Sam says my grandmother was a huge Jerry Lewis fan,
and your bit about his album is too funny. Let's
hear it, Sam, only your grandmama coming up next Good Morning,
(30:39):
This will make show on the radio under of Sam Norrises.
Grandmama out of Henderson, North Carolina, requested b this morning.
Speaker 14 (30:48):
For over seven decades, he was America's clown, comedian, actor, singer, filmmaker,
and humanitarian. He was born Joseph Levitch, but you knew
him as the King of comedy.
Speaker 6 (31:03):
Jerry Lewis, Hey, lock you out with the thing, Please
don't hurt my things.
Speaker 14 (31:11):
In twenty seventeen, Jerry went to that Big Friars Club
in the sky, but he left behind a legacy of
love and laughter. When his estate was cataloged, a number
of Jerry's personal projects were uncovered. Now, for the first
time ever, Don't Tell Records is proud to announce a
brand new album of sensational hiss Jerry Lewis.
Speaker 11 (31:34):
Hey, lady, she's a lady.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Wow, Wow, Well she's a lady.
Speaker 9 (31:42):
I want to.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Touch that sexy lay baby.
Speaker 9 (31:46):
Ooh, but she's got a.
Speaker 6 (31:50):
Ooh w are you loring above it?
Speaker 9 (31:52):
Though?
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Green nine?
Speaker 9 (31:59):
Lay missus? Lady know you w learn have some fun.
Speaker 6 (32:11):
Green eyed Lady, naughty Lady, I don't care that.
Speaker 9 (32:19):
You're not.
Speaker 6 (32:34):
Lady Madonna, children and your breast.
Speaker 11 (32:38):
If you pain your pop off, we can see.
Speaker 4 (32:41):
The rest.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
O.
Speaker 14 (32:47):
Only Jerry Lewis could take classic songs from every era
and make them his own.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
Jess one why.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Three times the sound Eyes of a.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
Lady and I can't len.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
She's five six.
Speaker 6 (33:18):
Seven times the size of a lady. Wow by Hernia
mesh Patch is exploding.
Speaker 14 (33:26):
The heart of a comedian, the soul of a poet,
the voice of a songbird. Jerry Lewis presents Hey Lady,
Available now on Don't Tell Records and available for download
at www dot.
Speaker 6 (33:40):
Lavin, dot schwet, very Clipton dot com. O.
Speaker 12 (33:49):
Dude looks like a lady.
Speaker 6 (33:53):
Dude looks like a lady.
Speaker 9 (33:55):
Jenny.
Speaker 14 (33:58):
Jerry Lewis, Hey Lady, Order now.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
That's just stupid. Good morning is a big show on
(34:32):
the radio. Our featured track fan to make show big
box olivery on women. Chapter one, then to have his
key word is chapter one. Right here we go.
Speaker 11 (34:48):
When it comes to finding the right woman, don't ever
ever fall for her, saying I'm not like anyone you've
ever met before. Nonsense.
Speaker 1 (35:02):
She's a woman, isn't she.
Speaker 11 (35:05):
And except for physical traits, either real or manufactured, all
women are exactly alike. Manipulative, clingy, insane. As hard as
it is to do at some time, look into a
(35:26):
woman's eyes, look hard, and if you look hard enough,
you can clearly see the circus that's going on in
her head. Clowns, midgets and freaks everywhere, and they're all
(35:48):
armed with knives, pitchforks, and flamethrowers, and they're coming after you.
Criticize her weight constantly. This keeps a woman off balance
and self critical, and being a woman, she is far
(36:08):
more absorbed in herself than she ever will be in you.
This is a plus. While she's obsessing in the mirror,
run for your life. Although she will always deny it.
She hates your friends. Why. The answer is simple, you
(36:33):
have fun with them. She will never understand in a
million years why you can't endlessly listen to her jabber
about all the things that are important to her, namely
all the things that aren't important to you. Another classic denial,
(37:00):
I like you just the way you are. When this
phrase escapes a woman's lips, prepare for the mother of
all battles. This is the comment that will send even
the four horsemen of the Apocalypse riding in the other direction.
(37:21):
It will start with the little things like her picking
out your clothes for you, but then comes the escalation.
Cut your hair, don't bite your nails, shave that beard,
eat more fruit, pick up those clothes, make more money,
(37:44):
drive a nicer car. We need a begger house. And
then finally the kiss of death. Come home right now
when it comes to this, find the nearest cliff and
drive off it. And finally, always remember, women don't want you.
(38:12):
They want you to be someone else. You're merely a
blank canvas, an empty vessel, a clean slate for them
to create their masterpiece. And they're going to turn you
into that work of art if it kills you. And
if it does kill you, why they'll just find some
(38:36):
other hapless love stop moron to destroy.
Speaker 15 (38:41):
Women. Are the eternal emails, beautiful.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Deet boxes.
Speaker 10 (38:58):
Here all your favorites before decades in The Big Show
ninety nine says He's fifteen for nine ninety nine by
him once play you anywhere. Shopping Blitbox online at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Order Big Show Stuff I follow.
Speaker 10 (39:08):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one.
Stuff Online Services by anime dot com.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
This is any big show today, Don't let that happen.
CAUs it up. John Obill and Late Rossers podcast Man.
Wherever you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to
us with a free iHeartRadio al Ai Hey, res your days,
you own tomorrow, Love you mane it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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