September 30, 2024 • 44 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we learn about John Boy’s “special relationship” with a convenience store near his house.. - For no apparent reason, we celebrate a “Married Man Monday” with the mini-series entitled, Car Shopping.. - Stan Higgins pops in to explain why he’s quit drinking.. - We fill a request for Robert D. Raiford’s Dong Story and we wrap up the morning with the Crocodile Stalker…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hang out all right, listen to you, mog It's time
to button your yaps. Say, I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big saying bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey, he's adorable. Come on, get up, we
(00:52):
got to we gotta go to work. You got a job,
I guess. Let it from the foreigner store. Wort off
my coffee? What the foreigner store? Affair man, I'm checking out,
keep working at Harris teetering some grocers. I said, how
(01:13):
many jobs you got? That's the way you do it
when you come to America. Oh boy, my people people
work I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
He steals ice from their store.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Out you did? I took.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
He was coming off of.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Now I'm taking him, taking him home from his colonoscopy.
We stop at the store. I said, you want to stop, Yeah,
let me get some coat.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
He goes inside.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Police officers in the store. Mind you, Hey, John Boy,
I'm sitting in the car. I thought everybody knows him.
I'm just watching. He comes out of the story. He's
got a boss of diet coke and a cup and
he goes over to the ice machine. I'm like, man,
they let these people get anything over here and balance
ice machine.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's the.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Bag freeze.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You're right, Randy, because he opened a bag of ice
that most people pay for, put ice in his cup
and got in the passenger side of the car.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Mister freeze a twister.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It in my head. I'm going, man, I need to
live in Valentine. You don't even have to pay for
a bag of ice.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You do just so you know.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Get a whole bag. I don't need twenty ounces.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
The next day I remind him and he said I
did that, And I'm like, oh lord, we're going to jail.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I'm sure if he did it under those circumstances, Oh
he done it before. Oh yeah, it was so easy.
It's just as easy.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I love you, Johnny. Don't ever change.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
After my cold and oscarby these days.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Wow, radio star jailed because of that.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I said, well, I didn't know. Well, you don't have
to pay for it. You just going, he said, paid
for the eyes. And I tell you something else I
do in the store for his crowded when I'm stopping
get you don't just walk out with yourself. Yeah, I do.
I walk down it and then I'll just tell them
next time. I him, hey, charge me for two of
(03:22):
those coffeesh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
The just write it down on my tap so I'm
not legal.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But see my other hand in princess working the hairstainer.
The well this I tell you the truth. It was
one Saturday, was up there, not the regular crew, you
know when I go through there, when I was getting
a couple of bags of eyes to last me until
(03:52):
I got out to the farm and the cooler and
the guy came in from out and I was putting
them a cooler and I threw the bags away, you know,
the trash came between the pumps, and he said, you're
gonna pay for that. I said, these bags eyes. I said, yeah, yeah,
I am. I'm coming in and then threw away the bags.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
We have your picture right here next to the cash.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But I did that. So anyway, next time I was
in the usual crew that know me. I was in
there and then that guy was there and I said, y'all,
I just want to tell you, this guy should be
employee of the month. He thought I was stealing two
bags of eyes and he was out there running me down.
You were the big times.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh you sure didn't go with Will you tell him
who I?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I don't do that. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Hey, he's not a little person. My son ran into
him in the doctor's office. Thank you Astra Zeneca for
hiring my son. And he said, Mom, I walk up.
They're crazy about him. I walk up and I said, hey,
John boy, he said. He looked at me like hey,
he said, I'm Jack. He songs. Oh, Eric, he's in Mommy,
everybody knows him, even in the doctor's office.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You don't mean to give him my back of ice.
It's a fine young man. You guys right there, baby,
you are good for you.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
Your word is good.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That is true, but it's not legal. He thank you
very much. All right, So, uh, I guess where it works?
Speaker 7 (05:25):
All right?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I thought we were having true confessions.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Three days in history. Get out in the first prize
pack to get to win and begin and big shows
on the radio. Good morning, Big shows on the radio.
First prize pack this morning. Oh you got it tape.
I do what we got there?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
We have a happy herd Price pack on the board.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's a happy herd maker.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Bill jumped.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Were all being honest abouts Yeah, a.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Happy Herd prize pack.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Happy Herd makes top quality attractants, minerals, and feed for deer,
bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, better
hope your neighbors aren't. Click on do you want to
say either? Click on the Happy Herd banner at the
Big Show dot com and enter code JBB for ten
percent off at checkout.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yes, thank you. Every Well, let's look at our three
dates in history. We will get our three categories. It
is September thirtieth, last day of those month. It was
eighteen sixty two. Chewing gum industrialist William Wrigley Junior was born.
Besides being the Wrigley's Chewing Gum president and founder, he
also was the Chicago Cubs founder. He died in nineteen
(06:32):
thirty two. Wriggly Field Jill riggly Field, I'm not dead.
Nineteen fifteen, the first asphalt covered automobile racetrack open in Cranston,
Rhode Island. Ranston the big hot bed for you NASCAR,
but they liked the racing up being Cranston. Finally, in
two thousand, seventy six year old ex convict demanded two
(06:55):
fifty dollars bills from a bank teller, and then announced
he would be outside his car smoking a cigarette waiting
to be returned to prison. I'll be waiting around, directly,
said bank employees and council bluffs Iowa weren't sure if
he was serious, but they gave him the money and
called police, and they arrested him a few minutes later.
Waiting in his car smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Reminds me of the.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Brooks institutionalized.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
All right, well there's a category for us. Let's look
at what he was robbing for that one eight hundred
big show you told free line, we play out birds next.
(07:58):
Good morning, there's a big show already. Run on to
your Monday, September the thirtieth. Today's feature tracking to make
sure bit Box and Crocodile stagger the razor back Grizzly.
There's your keyword, grizzly right there at the mid box.
Brought you by the Mang of America. Roll Will four hundred. Sunday,
October thirteenth, the shot up on his main one.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
They're out out a fight hour upts. Let's play uppers.
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy and Billy,
we give the prizes from the big prize being Let's
go he contested number one.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
This should really be a lot of funks back when
you're playing uppers, having urry upping ghast tongue.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You love the ghost tongue. You love a big shots.
Speaker 10 (08:50):
A Sam from the grain, George Yad, we have the shots.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Good morning Sam, what's up?
Speaker 7 (09:08):
Shirt?
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Mony, welcome by coming in hot out of la Grange.
Let's get you to these three categories and get you
some happy herd down there and bring them in. You
ready bout it? Yes, hirs jo AmAm five seconds? Give
us three chewing gum brands. Ready go double man hubble
bubble by baam hubblah baba. I talked about hubble bubba
(09:30):
hubblah blah blah bubba. Go So Sam, how about three
famous hurt three famous race tracks. Ready to go Bristel
take Tonga and can I take it? Bamp and for
the wind? Three banks ready to go.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
Uh Bank of America.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
We'll goorking and through it.
Speaker 11 (09:56):
You got it?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Ride Sam? Have you heard? Prize back? Head down the
grange for you, Yes, sir, you got you got three
more questions? You done? You will okay? Are slam hot?
Hole home line is the bottom of the hour. Here
(10:24):
come on the top of your news Monday morning song
you know what not to be doing?
Speaker 7 (10:29):
Its work.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Morning. It's a big show on the radio Monday, last
day September the thirty of then October. This's work waiting
and Monday morning you going Robert Earl Keane. That's done
by Robert Earl Keane. Is being lying a h S.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (11:32):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 12 (11:35):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right as I've
traveled down last subde, things ain't going mindy because there's always.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Someone swirming in my line.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
You keep swarming in the line, and it's causing lots
of thingnger, I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
I'm shooting you the thing.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 9 (12:15):
Just to him.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
When you're swerving all lives pieh Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 12 (12:27):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never never could
love another.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
How else could I feed?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
But bowing you.
Speaker 12 (12:44):
Run into me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You keep swiming in my life just causing lots of bags.
I'm cussing out yon name, I'm shooting here the fine.
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
But you're just too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all
lights high? Why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Driving a big show? Good the morning. There's a big
(13:59):
shown alrady about twenty minute a week ago, I married
man Monday, married man looking to trade in the minivan.
Hey too, this married time married chunnel. But right now
what we had? Hello friends, your old pal.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Bird Fern here with another tank tickling edition of John
Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode Till Death do Us Part.
As our story opens, Ricky b Sharp is returning home
after a long day at work. Whep that do ludly
louly little eve up o Lucy, I'm home. Oh oh
(14:42):
either you made cabbager you had beans for lunch?
Speaker 13 (14:45):
Uh, Ricky cubshit down? Waitay to talk?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh boy, here we go. We need to talk. A
married fella's least favorite four words next to there's no
beer left and I sold your boat.
Speaker 13 (15:01):
We're not spread chickens no more. We gotta think about
the future just a little bit. If something were to
happen to be would you get buried again?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What kind of talk is this?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Did one of your favorite characters on your stories kick
the bucket?
Speaker 13 (15:15):
No, nothing like that. I was just curious as all.
Would you rebury if something happened to be.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Lucy?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You are married to Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot.
I am a symbol of everything that's good in this world, honesty,
morality and fairly priced pizza. That's not an answer? Well, Hell,
I don't know. I suppose if someone turned up it
wouldn't nerve racking. I might walk the Green Mile a
second time.
Speaker 13 (15:48):
Well, you wouldn't let her sleep at our bed, now,
would you?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
That would be weird.
Speaker 13 (15:53):
And you wouldn't let her drive my car?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Would you?
Speaker 10 (15:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That would be wrong, And you.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
Wouldn't let her have all by good clothes, would you?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Hell?
Speaker 14 (16:02):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
What kind of monster do you think I am?
Speaker 13 (16:05):
I just feel better knowed.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Besides, she's like five sizes of smaller than you. And
how we hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
You know I like stuff with buttons up the front.
Tune in next time when we'll hear Ricky's petite side piece. See, Hey,
(16:29):
big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning, rolling
to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this is
Robert Gulay and you're listening to the pride of the
Red States, John Boy and Billy right here on the
Big Show. Some enchanted money.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
You may hear the Big Show? Where's my big bag?
Who can't be topical? Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
(17:32):
Getting ready to kick off our married man Monday. Let's
do it right for the famed version of the married
man theme. Married man.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
Married man drives around in a minivan, got a wife,
andsome kids, his whole ef song skids.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Hey, there there goes a married man.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
How's he field?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Listened to?
Speaker 7 (18:35):
This?
Speaker 9 (18:36):
Poor guy's really screwed, hanging on by thread.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Quarter milk loaf of bread? Hey Fred, ain't that the
married man?
Speaker 9 (18:48):
Gotta big gas? Girl buys his clothes at the gap
and he's just about hadenough about this craft married man,
married man, a friendly neighborhood married man. When he's home,
he's ignored. Maybe that's why he's so bored.
Speaker 15 (19:08):
O Lord, it's hard for a married man.
Speaker 8 (19:44):
You work hard every day till the day that he's dead.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
He wants crime marry you, He'll just squeeze on your head.
Speaker 15 (19:55):
Married man, married man, friendly neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Married man.
Speaker 9 (20:00):
Life for him, has no sing wife won't let him
do things. She says, it's about side.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
Weary of his.
Speaker 10 (20:18):
Up.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You fine married man. Good morning, Big Shows on the radio,
(20:43):
Getting ready for John Boyds. Ever they play for mount
Olive Pickles Prize by clues mount Olive hat t shirt
in the three pack of pickle Juicers, the number one
pickle bran in the United States since nineteen twenty six.
At the corner of cucumber and vine. Go to Big
Show dot Com, click on the mount out of pickles
manor more info hang on play for in minutes versus
kick off our married Man Monday married man.
Speaker 16 (21:14):
Married man drives around in a minivan god a wife
and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man. How's he feel? Listen, dude,
this poor guy's really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread,
cord of milk, loaf of bread. Hey, there there goes
(21:38):
a married man, got a big gas grill, buys his
clothes at the gap, and he's just about hanging on.
Speaker 17 (21:48):
For this crime.
Speaker 16 (21:50):
Married man married man, friendly neighborhood, married man life for
him has no single wife or let him do what
they she said, it's about timing grooves.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
As a school looks, you'll find them married.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Nine.
Speaker 14 (22:08):
As our story opens, married man college buddy and drinking
buddy wheel the minivan into a local car lot on
a Sunday Saturday afternoon and central sitting. Well, here we are, chums,
three costumed adventurers about to kick a few tires and
pick out a brand new crime fighting vehicle.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Is this cool? Or what he began?
Speaker 6 (22:30):
Used the little help over here? We'll tro driver George
slammer cape in the door.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
When he got out.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh sorry there, lef. Hey, married man, we're just car shopping.
Why don't you make us wear costumes?
Speaker 14 (22:41):
Well, chum, A hero never knows when danger might rear
its ugly head at Carmacks. Don't laugh, Hey, guys, im sneaky,
Oh sales guys in here crooks botty crook by Welsh.
You never know when a grateful retailer might show his
appreciation for your crime busting prowess with a deep discount
off the posted sticker price at CarMax.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
No hold your breath on that in big as well.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Anyway, we're dressing, we're here. I can't believe you're actually
gonna trade any old minivan after all these years.
Speaker 14 (23:11):
Hey, even Cape crime fighters need to change every once
in a while. Besides, this will be a fun male
bonding experience for us. Excuse me just a second. So
much for male bonding. Hello, Hi, honey bunny, Yes we
just got here. Listen, I haven't really had time to
scope out the inventory yet. Yes, I've got the list.
(23:33):
I'll call you back in a few minutes. Okay, fire
the list, honey, Bunny, and I made a list of
some of the models we might be interested in.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You're gonna let your wife pick the car?
Speaker 14 (23:44):
No, but you know she does want to have a
little input. After all, it's not gonna be a crime
fighting vehicle twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Great, we're gonna end up with another mini van. Not necessarily.
Speaker 14 (23:55):
I've got several other models on the short list, like what, well,
let's see the Volkswagen.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Jetta Volkswagens yet married man? Please?
Speaker 6 (24:04):
What Adam's a total chick car? Biguy?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Really trust me it is?
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Well?
Speaker 14 (24:09):
What else you got Let's see Mazda Miata.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Yep, that's a chick car too.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (24:15):
How about the Dodge Neon Vachart Okay, the new Beetle Convertible.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Holy cow, marrion, man, don't you have anything on the
list with a little testosterone in it? Something that can
handle rugged terrain?
Speaker 10 (24:30):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You mean like the Jeep Liberty.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
Yep, and ain't gonna get it either, me guess.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
But it's a jeep.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
Yeah, but it's a girly jeep.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Oh all right?
Speaker 14 (24:41):
How about the Subaru Forester Subaru?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
What's wrong with the Subaroo? Nothing? Have you got a
CD case full of Indigo Girls album?
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
What does that mean?
Speaker 14 (24:50):
It means that in there is a chick car for
a chicks set like other chicks?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Be guy, somewhere in the world. Do you get that?
Who's Subaru's most famous celebrities?
Speaker 14 (25:00):
Folksperson Martina Navratalova?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Case closed up?
Speaker 14 (25:05):
Just a second, guys, Hi, honey, No, nothing yet, still
kind of running down the list here. No, not leaning
toward anyone in particular yet. As a matter of fact,
I'll keep you posted. Okay, what's that?
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Well?
Speaker 14 (25:21):
I guess so, okay, go ahead. Skim Milk regular milk,
carb Smart frozen lasagna and what oh is that the
one that has the wings? Okay, regular Maxi or super Maxi?
What they make an Ultra Maxi? Now really okay, I'm
(25:42):
on it all right bye? So college buddy, are you
saying that Martina Navratalova is a.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
You know, married man? You really need to get out more. Well.
Speaker 14 (25:55):
Titanic Trail will be able to agree on a new
crime busting vehicle.
Speaker 6 (25:59):
Killed it again?
Speaker 14 (25:59):
Next time I will hear the stocky Mannish female salesperson
at Carmacks say.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Ooh, Stubaru Forester. Excellent choke.
Speaker 14 (26:07):
My friend, married man say, does everybody know about this
but me? And drinking buddy say, you know, I.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Kind of like you, big girl. You got a sister
that lacks boys.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Dog mess.
Speaker 14 (26:18):
Next SPEINCTA tightening adventure, same married time saying married channels.
Speaker 16 (26:24):
There's a school looks you'll find them married nine.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Ahead, episode two in about an hour. Right now, it's
John Boyds. You have at did time. Let's jump right
in here. With an annual production run topping over a
three hundred million a year, this well known Danish toy
company is technically the world's largest manufacturer of rubber tires.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
What is the dog toy Kong, the dog toy Kong.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
That's that round ball that you put peanut butter in.
And oh yeah, but Pearl had one.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Y'all, there's a bunch of rubber tires.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Okay, fine, good guess thank you?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
What y'all got? One? Eight hundred Big Show told free
loud across America. We played John boyd Jeopardy Next. That's
(27:41):
Big Show Alradyo rode until your Monday, September to thirty
of today's feature track for to make Sure Big Box,
the Crocodile's taggert The rains are back Grizzly. Search for
keyword grizzly. Over ten thousand tracks you choose from none
nonsense age fifteen tracks for nine nine to nine, Thank You,
Hold and album Say It's Running You A by the
(28:04):
Mac of America Roval four hundred Sunday October thirteenth and
Charlotte Motor Speedway.
Speaker 11 (28:09):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You're going to link at the Big Show dot com.
And right now let's play Yells live across America. It's
John Boy Jemish and now your host has a bear hunter.
He has bad news. Bear spray might just piss the
bear off. Good news pissed off bears will kill you
(28:34):
lots Faster's johnbo like Goole's I hate a. Perry out
of dun North Carolina. Good morning, Perry, Hey, god, hey, buddy.
You first up today for John boyd jeppar day. So
we're looking at an annual production run the top over
three hundred million a year. This well known Danish toy
(28:56):
company is technically the world's largest manufacturer of we're tires.
What you got, Perry?
Speaker 12 (29:05):
I told Jackie one answer.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
I'm gonna change that answer.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I'm gonna say huffy.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You say huffy? Okay? Is it huffy?
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No, a huffy toy? Did they make toys? Oh? Huffy bikes?
How about that? They're right? All right? Well, Perry, good
guess sounds like you should be right, but no appreciate
you playing up. You try again soon, buddy, Have a
great day. All right, man, Let's go to Dwayne Johnson
(29:42):
out of Clinton, South Carolina. Good morning, Dwayne, Good morning,
big dog.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
How you doing that too?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
And dollars? And may I welcome in? All right, Dwyane,
your turn. What toy company? It's an annual production run
topping over three hundred million. They're technically the world's largest
manufacturer of rubber tires.
Speaker 7 (30:02):
I know the answer to this. I used to step
on the damn thing all the time barefoot. Oh it's
got to be legs.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You got to be legos. That's crazy. I couldn't put
that together, all right, man, So uh yeah, Randon said,
just don't try to figure it out. It's just one
of those odd facts right there. And Dwayne, congratulations to you, buddy.
(30:29):
We're gonna mount Olive Pickles prize back. Head down to
Clinton for you.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
Thank you so much. Can't give a shout out.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
You go ahead.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
I'd like to give a shout out responders and very
personnel and my old buddy Henry, and most of all
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Whin't you sweet? Dwayne? We appreciate you and your buzz
listening to us. Man, you hang on.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Alright.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Here is your bottom of the hour news on the
other side of time capsule listened on the Monday Morning
Live and then mister Poppy in wait.
Speaker 11 (31:11):
A minute, This is the award winning John Boy and
(31:42):
Billie Big.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Show, the South's number one export. It is time for
Oliver well.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Well, well, life used to be so simple when you
were a kid. You were encouraged to live and let live. Nowadays,
it's a much different story. Yes, our country is in
decline and political correctness has run amok. The moral fabric
(32:24):
of our society has become frayed and threadbare. We've given
into the persnickety demands of the few. And it seems
everyone's skin is thinner than Obama's resume. And you know
what I understood everywhere? I said, I've been here too long.
(32:49):
And if you want a perfect example of how drastically
things have changed, just look at the difference between high
school in the fifties and high school in this era
of modern enlightenment. Let me preach on it. Job I
didn't understand.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
A word about.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Jackie goes squirrel hunting before school and then pulls into
the parking lot with her shotgun in the truck's gun rack.
Now in the fifties, the principal notices Jackie's shotgun and
gets his shotgun to show her. Today, the school goes
into lockdown, the FBI is called. Jackie has hauled off
to jail and never sees her truck or gun again.
(33:31):
Counselors help traumatize students and teachers. Jackie falls in love
with a four hundred pounds cell mat Croatian. In the fifties,
Johnny gives his Muslim friend Ali a Christmas card. Ali
thanks him and they build a snowman. Today, Johnny gives
(33:57):
his Muslim friend Ali a Christmas card. A nosy teacher
sees this and takes Johnny to the counselor's office. The
police are called and Johnny is charged with a hate crime.
The school board calls a special meeting and arranges a
special prayer room for the Muslim student. All decorations and
references to Christmas are removed. They now celebrate the Winter Festival.
(34:20):
The other Muslim students behead the snowman. Ah Billy won't
sit still in class and disrupts other students. In the fifties,
Billy is sent to the principal's office and gets the paddle.
He goes back to class and sits still brother when
(34:41):
he gets home, as father tells him he had it coming.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Today.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
They put Billy on ridlin and he becomes a zombie.
He's tested for add and the school gets extra money
from the state because of his disability. Billy later sues
the school for an undisclosed six figure sum, which he
squanders on a trip to Occupy Wall Street. Marsi breaks
(35:09):
a neighbor's window when her father gives her a whipping
with the belt. In the fifties, Massie is more careful
next time. She grows up normal, goes to college, and
becomes a successful business woman. These days, Marsie's father is
arrested for child abuse. Marcie is sent to foster care
and joins a gang. The state psychologist determines that Marsie
(35:32):
was abused, and her father goes to prison. Her mom
shacks up with the psychologists. Boy Randy falls while running
on the playground and scrapes his knee. He's found crying
by his teacher, Nancy, who gives him a hug. Now
in the fifties, in a short time, Randy feels better
and goes back to talking down to the other students. Today,
(36:00):
Nancy is accused of being a sexual predator and loses
her job. She faces three years in state prison. Randy
undergoes five years of therapy where he discovers that he's gay.
Pedro fails high school English. In the fifties, Pedro goes
(36:20):
to summer school, passes English, and goes to college. Today,
Pedro's cause is taken up by the state. The liberal
media says teaching English is a requirement for graduation is racist.
The ACLU file suit against the state and the school system.
English is banned as the core curriculum. Pedro is given
(36:41):
a diploma anyway, because he cannot speak English. He ends
up mowing lawns for a living. You get the idea.
I think it's time to take our country back. But
to the rest of you who might embrace the way
our society has descended into this ridiculous state. To you,
I say, Obama Biden twenty twelve.
Speaker 11 (37:10):
That I understood, sewn Boy and Billy shut up Morning radio?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Done right, good Monday Morning. Got the big show on
(37:49):
the radio. Well, it's all stand chatting up the snack lady.
I'm sure when she kicks him to the curb he'll
pop it.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
WHOA, don't mind if I do, don Boy, Randy Jackie
her big show, Lesener, Barry Hapsen's on the monitor West End.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Any luck with a snack lady.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Well, as a matter of fact, my bullcap young friend,
I now have her number. Really, you know it, bros,
I'm down the clown ready to romance. Riggy tajiggy. As
I've heard it said, it looks like.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You look might have chained stand what happened?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Well, I finally deduced the thing that sabotaged my amore.
It was the demon drink Ah, so you stopped drinking.
It was time, John boy, I knew when I made
a huge faux path was a faux pas, A crude misstatement,
a verbal famble, a spoken schmagege was it's a story. Well,
I was at Red Blobster Lobster. No, no, Red Blobster.
(38:45):
It's like Hooters, but with seafood, and all the waitresses
tend to be on the hefty side, beautifully bulky, deliciously
thick stout to put it bluntly.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Well, did you have a few too many and hit
on a hostess?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Sadly, No, it was a fellow patron. She was Have
you got a minute?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
She was seated in a booth and was holding a baby,
A baby she decided to feed, and not with a bottle.
If you smell what the stand is cooking.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Well, I was on my seventh Alaskan duck fart.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Wait, what oh?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
The Alaskan buck fart. It's a layered cocktail that is
visually appealing and extremely intact.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Again, okay, got it? Well.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I was also intoxicated by the fair damsel's beauty, fortified
by liquid courage. When the waiter asked if I'd like
anything else, I motioned to her and I said, I'll
have what the kids having.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
So did you get a phone number?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yes, for an attorney. So I decided then and there
I was on the proverbial wagon.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Well, good for you. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I will say this is not the first time I
tried to quit. A few years ago, I woke up
one Sunday morning with a solid buzz still clinging to
my brain. But I had enough of my faculties to
know I needed to do something. So I stumbled quite
literally across a baptismal service at the condo pan and
the minister said, are you ready to find Jesus? I
(40:03):
said hell, yes, so he dunked me in the water.
When he pulled me up, he said, did you find Jesus?
I said nope, so he dunked me again. After about
thirty seconds, he pulled me up, brother, did you find
Jesus yet? I said nope, so he dunked me again,
this time for about a minute. When he pulled me up,
he said, Sinner, have you still not found Jesus? I said, no,
Are you sure this is where he fell in?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Well, at first you don't succeed.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Don't drink again. Well, I'm going to call the snack
lady for a hot day. Now she wants me to
do her taxes. Hey, I'll take what I can gets.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Good morning. There's a big show on the radio. Hell
are you climsy? Premise?
Speaker 11 (40:47):
Hreh.
Speaker 17 (40:48):
When I'm on inside of the pond, I get my
daily deuce of culture and edification every morning. Run these
two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy right here on
the big ship. You know, I hate to break it
to you boys where I come from, your old Yankees?
Who will?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I thought it was Bunny. Hey boy, it's a big
(41:41):
sewing the radio, rolling to your Monday morning, last day
of say September, having a birthday today, Happy birthday you
sharing one with rapper teeth pain on Tee Paine's forty
actress marrying Chrid a large is forty nine funny movie edit. Hof,
(42:03):
don't worry. Do I need to even ask? He af
That's probably not even problem. I ain't saying nothing else.
All right?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Oh, I think this must be eating she did.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
She did the biopic of French singer.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Oh here's somebody we know. How about Big Show Bud
Richard Bowden, singer, musician comedian Richard Bowden. Up there? What
a rigid guy, they look at Richard Man. He's seventy
nine years old. He ain't as old as Angie Dickinson.
So he might actually be able to run her down.
Now it's been the goal of.
Speaker 15 (42:45):
His for.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Oh right, all right, now let's focus on our happy marriage.
He is here, our married man. Monday Episode two, Married
man riding in the minivan hitting minutes. Big Show rolls on.
(43:28):
It's Big Show on the radio. One m very popular
married man, mondays, get back in just second. Tell you
about the prize back you can win. You win beat
the block. I got it a hat Tjer Tumbler twenty
five dollars guys car from Lord Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers at
Ride Plus. You're registered to win that one of a
(43:48):
kind Big Show motorcycle from Lord Tigers custom built by
Rick Bray r KB Customs. Look for the link at
the Big Show dot com. Red Sure to win, make
sure your name is in a hatte Also go to
big Show, oh bike dot com uh win a prize
pack by playing one of our wonderful games in minutes
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hang out all right, listen to you, mog It's time
to button your yaps. Say, I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boy and Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big saying bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey, he's adorable. Come on, get up, we
(00:52):
got to we gotta go to work. You got a job,
I guess. Let it from the foreigner store. Wort off
my coffee? What the foreigner store? Affair man, I'm checking out,
keep working at Harris teetering some grocers. I said, how
(01:13):
many jobs you got? That's the way you do it
when you come to America. Oh boy, my people people
work I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
He steals ice from their store.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Out you did? I took.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
He was coming off of.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Now I'm taking him, taking him home from his colonoscopy.
We stop at the store. I said, you want to stop, Yeah,
let me get some coat.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
He goes inside.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
Police officers in the store. Mind you, Hey, John Boy,
I'm sitting in the car. I thought everybody knows him.
I'm just watching. He comes out of the story. He's
got a boss of diet coke and a cup and
he goes over to the ice machine. I'm like, man,
they let these people get anything over here and balance
ice machine.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
It's the.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Bag freeze.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You're right, Randy, because he opened a bag of ice
that most people pay for, put ice in his cup
and got in the passenger side of the car.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Mister freeze a twister.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It in my head. I'm going, man, I need to
live in Valentine. You don't even have to pay for
a bag of ice.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
You do just so you know.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Get a whole bag. I don't need twenty ounces.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
The next day I remind him and he said I
did that, And I'm like, oh lord, we're going to jail.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I'm sure if he did it under those circumstances, Oh
he done it before. Oh yeah, it was so easy.
It's just as easy.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I love you, Johnny. Don't ever change.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
After my cold and oscarby these days.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Wow, radio star jailed because of that.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
I said, well, I didn't know. Well, you don't have
to pay for it. You just going, he said, paid
for the eyes. And I tell you something else I
do in the store for his crowded when I'm stopping
get you don't just walk out with yourself. Yeah, I do.
I walk down it and then I'll just tell them
next time. I him, hey, charge me for two of
(03:22):
those coffeesh my goodness.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
The just write it down on my tap so I'm
not legal.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
But see my other hand in princess working the hairstainer.
The well this I tell you the truth. It was
one Saturday, was up there, not the regular crew, you
know when I go through there, when I was getting
a couple of bags of eyes to last me until
(03:52):
I got out to the farm and the cooler and
the guy came in from out and I was putting
them a cooler and I threw the bags away, you know,
the trash came between the pumps, and he said, you're
gonna pay for that. I said, these bags eyes. I said, yeah, yeah,
I am. I'm coming in and then threw away the bags.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
We have your picture right here next to the cash.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
But I did that. So anyway, next time I was
in the usual crew that know me. I was in
there and then that guy was there and I said, y'all,
I just want to tell you, this guy should be
employee of the month. He thought I was stealing two
bags of eyes and he was out there running me down.
You were the big times.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Oh you sure didn't go with Will you tell him
who I?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I don't do that. I don't do that.
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Hey, he's not a little person. My son ran into
him in the doctor's office. Thank you Astra Zeneca for
hiring my son. And he said, Mom, I walk up.
They're crazy about him. I walk up and I said, hey,
John boy, he said. He looked at me like hey,
he said, I'm Jack. He songs. Oh, Eric, he's in Mommy,
everybody knows him, even in the doctor's office.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
You don't mean to give him my back of ice.
It's a fine young man. You guys right there, baby,
you are good for you.
Speaker 6 (05:12):
Your word is good.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
That is true, but it's not legal. He thank you
very much. All right, So, uh, I guess where it works?
Speaker 7 (05:25):
All right?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
I thought we were having true confessions.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Three days in history. Get out in the first prize
pack to get to win and begin and big shows
on the radio. Good morning, Big shows on the radio.
First prize pack this morning. Oh you got it tape.
I do what we got there?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
We have a happy herd Price pack on the board.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
It's a happy herd maker.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
Bill jumped.
Speaker 5 (05:49):
Were all being honest abouts Yeah, a.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Happy Herd prize pack.
Speaker 5 (05:53):
Happy Herd makes top quality attractants, minerals, and feed for deer,
bear and hogs. If you're not using Happy Herd, better
hope your neighbors aren't. Click on do you want to
say either? Click on the Happy Herd banner at the
Big Show dot com and enter code JBB for ten
percent off at checkout.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yes, thank you. Every Well, let's look at our three
dates in history. We will get our three categories. It
is September thirtieth, last day of those month. It was
eighteen sixty two. Chewing gum industrialist William Wrigley Junior was born.
Besides being the Wrigley's Chewing Gum president and founder, he
also was the Chicago Cubs founder. He died in nineteen
(06:32):
thirty two. Wriggly Field Jill riggly Field, I'm not dead.
Nineteen fifteen, the first asphalt covered automobile racetrack open in Cranston,
Rhode Island. Ranston the big hot bed for you NASCAR,
but they liked the racing up being Cranston. Finally, in
two thousand, seventy six year old ex convict demanded two
(06:55):
fifty dollars bills from a bank teller, and then announced
he would be outside his car smoking a cigarette waiting
to be returned to prison. I'll be waiting around, directly,
said bank employees and council bluffs Iowa weren't sure if
he was serious, but they gave him the money and
called police, and they arrested him a few minutes later.
Waiting in his car smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 2 (07:17):
Reminds me of the.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Brooks institutionalized.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
All right, well there's a category for us. Let's look
at what he was robbing for that one eight hundred
big show you told free line, we play out birds next.
(07:58):
Good morning, there's a big show already. Run on to
your Monday, September the thirtieth. Today's feature tracking to make
sure bit Box and Crocodile stagger the razor back Grizzly.
There's your keyword, grizzly right there at the mid box.
Brought you by the Mang of America. Roll Will four hundred. Sunday,
October thirteenth, the shot up on his main one.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
They're out out a fight hour upts. Let's play uppers.
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boy and Billy,
we give the prizes from the big prize being Let's
go he contested number one.
Speaker 9 (08:37):
This should really be a lot of funks back when
you're playing uppers, having urry upping ghast tongue.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
You love the ghost tongue. You love a big shots.
Speaker 10 (08:50):
A Sam from the grain, George Yad, we have the shots.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Good morning Sam, what's up?
Speaker 7 (09:08):
Shirt?
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Hey?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
Mony, welcome by coming in hot out of la Grange.
Let's get you to these three categories and get you
some happy herd down there and bring them in. You
ready bout it? Yes, hirs jo AmAm five seconds? Give
us three chewing gum brands. Ready go double man hubble
bubble by baam hubblah baba. I talked about hubble bubba
(09:30):
hubblah blah blah bubba. Go So Sam, how about three
famous hurt three famous race tracks. Ready to go Bristel
take Tonga and can I take it? Bamp and for
the wind? Three banks ready to go.
Speaker 7 (09:51):
Uh Bank of America.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
We'll goorking and through it.
Speaker 11 (09:56):
You got it?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Ride Sam? Have you heard? Prize back? Head down the
grange for you, Yes, sir, you got you got three
more questions? You done? You will okay? Are slam hot?
Hole home line is the bottom of the hour. Here
(10:24):
come on the top of your news Monday morning song
you know what not to be doing?
Speaker 7 (10:29):
Its work.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Morning. It's a big show on the radio Monday, last
day September the thirty of then October. This's work waiting
and Monday morning you going Robert Earl Keane. That's done
by Robert Earl Keane. Is being lying a h S.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (11:32):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 12 (11:35):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right as I've
traveled down last subde, things ain't going mindy because there's always.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Someone swirming in my line.
Speaker 12 (11:56):
You keep swarming in the line, and it's causing lots
of thingnger, I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 6 (12:07):
I'm shooting you the thing.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
Keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 9 (12:15):
Just to him.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
When you're swerving all lives pieh Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 12 (12:27):
The day Joe Way, I thought I never never could
love another.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
How else could I feed?
Speaker 6 (12:42):
But bowing you.
Speaker 12 (12:44):
Run into me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 7 (12:50):
I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
You keep swiming in my life just causing lots of bags.
I'm cussing out yon name, I'm shooting here the fine.
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 4 (13:15):
But you're just too dimpty. Now when you're swerving all
lights high? Why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
Driving a big show? Good the morning. There's a big
(13:59):
shown alrady about twenty minute a week ago, I married
man Monday, married man looking to trade in the minivan.
Hey too, this married time married chunnel. But right now
what we had? Hello friends, your old pal.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Bird Fern here with another tank tickling edition of John
Boy and Billy Playhouse Today's episode Till Death do Us Part.
As our story opens, Ricky b Sharp is returning home
after a long day at work. Whep that do ludly
louly little eve up o Lucy, I'm home. Oh oh
(14:42):
either you made cabbager you had beans for lunch?
Speaker 13 (14:45):
Uh, Ricky cubshit down? Waitay to talk?
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Oh boy, here we go. We need to talk. A
married fella's least favorite four words next to there's no
beer left and I sold your boat.
Speaker 13 (15:01):
We're not spread chickens no more. We gotta think about
the future just a little bit. If something were to
happen to be would you get buried again?
Speaker 1 (15:10):
What kind of talk is this?
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Did one of your favorite characters on your stories kick
the bucket?
Speaker 13 (15:15):
No, nothing like that. I was just curious as all.
Would you rebury if something happened to be.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Lucy?
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You are married to Dothan's most beloved fast food mascot.
I am a symbol of everything that's good in this world, honesty,
morality and fairly priced pizza. That's not an answer? Well, Hell,
I don't know. I suppose if someone turned up it
wouldn't nerve racking. I might walk the Green Mile a
second time.
Speaker 13 (15:48):
Well, you wouldn't let her sleep at our bed, now,
would you?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
That would be weird.
Speaker 13 (15:53):
And you wouldn't let her drive my car?
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Would you?
Speaker 10 (15:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (15:57):
That would be wrong, And you.
Speaker 13 (15:58):
Wouldn't let her have all by good clothes, would you?
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Hell?
Speaker 14 (16:02):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:02):
What kind of monster do you think I am?
Speaker 13 (16:05):
I just feel better knowed.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Besides, she's like five sizes of smaller than you. And
how we hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
You know I like stuff with buttons up the front.
Tune in next time when we'll hear Ricky's petite side piece. See, Hey,
(16:29):
big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning, rolling
to the Big Show on the radio. Hello, this is
Robert Gulay and you're listening to the pride of the
Red States, John Boy and Billy right here on the
Big Show. Some enchanted money.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
You may hear the Big Show? Where's my big bag?
Who can't be topical? Good morning, Big Shows on the radio.
(17:32):
Getting ready to kick off our married man Monday. Let's
do it right for the famed version of the married
man theme. Married man.
Speaker 9 (18:19):
Married man drives around in a minivan, got a wife,
andsome kids, his whole ef song skids.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Hey, there there goes a married man.
Speaker 6 (18:33):
How's he field?
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Listened to?
Speaker 7 (18:35):
This?
Speaker 9 (18:36):
Poor guy's really screwed, hanging on by thread.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
Quarter milk loaf of bread? Hey Fred, ain't that the
married man?
Speaker 9 (18:48):
Gotta big gas? Girl buys his clothes at the gap
and he's just about hadenough about this craft married man,
married man, a friendly neighborhood married man. When he's home,
he's ignored. Maybe that's why he's so bored.
Speaker 15 (19:08):
O Lord, it's hard for a married man.
Speaker 8 (19:44):
You work hard every day till the day that he's dead.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
He wants crime marry you, He'll just squeeze on your head.
Speaker 15 (19:55):
Married man, married man, friendly neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Married man.
Speaker 9 (20:00):
Life for him, has no sing wife won't let him
do things. She says, it's about side.
Speaker 6 (20:13):
Weary of his.
Speaker 10 (20:18):
Up.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
You fine married man. Good morning, Big Shows on the radio,
(20:43):
Getting ready for John Boyds. Ever they play for mount
Olive Pickles Prize by clues mount Olive hat t shirt
in the three pack of pickle Juicers, the number one
pickle bran in the United States since nineteen twenty six.
At the corner of cucumber and vine. Go to Big
Show dot Com, click on the mount out of pickles
manor more info hang on play for in minutes versus
kick off our married Man Monday married man.
Speaker 16 (21:14):
Married man drives around in a minivan god a wife
and some kids. His whole life's on the skids. Hey,
there there goes the married man. How's he feel? Listen, dude,
this poor guy's really screwed hanging on. Buy a thread,
cord of milk, loaf of bread. Hey, there there goes
(21:38):
a married man, got a big gas grill, buys his
clothes at the gap, and he's just about hanging on.
Speaker 17 (21:48):
For this crime.
Speaker 16 (21:50):
Married man married man, friendly neighborhood, married man life for
him has no single wife or let him do what
they she said, it's about timing grooves.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
As a school looks, you'll find them married.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Nine.
Speaker 14 (22:08):
As our story opens, married man college buddy and drinking
buddy wheel the minivan into a local car lot on
a Sunday Saturday afternoon and central sitting. Well, here we are, chums,
three costumed adventurers about to kick a few tires and
pick out a brand new crime fighting vehicle.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Is this cool? Or what he began?
Speaker 6 (22:30):
Used the little help over here? We'll tro driver George
slammer cape in the door.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
When he got out.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Oh sorry there, lef. Hey, married man, we're just car shopping.
Why don't you make us wear costumes?
Speaker 14 (22:41):
Well, chum, A hero never knows when danger might rear
its ugly head at Carmacks. Don't laugh, Hey, guys, im sneaky,
Oh sales guys in here crooks botty crook by Welsh.
You never know when a grateful retailer might show his
appreciation for your crime busting prowess with a deep discount
off the posted sticker price at CarMax.
Speaker 6 (23:03):
No hold your breath on that in big as well.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Anyway, we're dressing, we're here. I can't believe you're actually
gonna trade any old minivan after all these years.
Speaker 14 (23:11):
Hey, even Cape crime fighters need to change every once
in a while. Besides, this will be a fun male
bonding experience for us. Excuse me just a second. So
much for male bonding. Hello, Hi, honey bunny, Yes we
just got here. Listen, I haven't really had time to
scope out the inventory yet. Yes, I've got the list.
(23:33):
I'll call you back in a few minutes. Okay, fire
the list, honey, Bunny, and I made a list of
some of the models we might be interested in.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
You're gonna let your wife pick the car?
Speaker 14 (23:44):
No, but you know she does want to have a
little input. After all, it's not gonna be a crime
fighting vehicle twenty four hours a day.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Great, we're gonna end up with another mini van. Not necessarily.
Speaker 14 (23:55):
I've got several other models on the short list, like what, well,
let's see the Volkswagen.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
Jetta Volkswagens yet married man? Please?
Speaker 6 (24:04):
What Adam's a total chick car? Biguy?
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Really trust me it is?
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Well?
Speaker 14 (24:09):
What else you got Let's see Mazda Miata.
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Yep, that's a chick car too.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (24:15):
How about the Dodge Neon Vachart Okay, the new Beetle Convertible.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Holy cow, marrion, man, don't you have anything on the
list with a little testosterone in it? Something that can
handle rugged terrain?
Speaker 10 (24:30):
Ah?
Speaker 1 (24:30):
You mean like the Jeep Liberty.
Speaker 6 (24:32):
Yep, and ain't gonna get it either, me guess.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
But it's a jeep.
Speaker 6 (24:37):
Yeah, but it's a girly jeep.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Oh all right?
Speaker 14 (24:41):
How about the Subaru Forester Subaru?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
What's wrong with the Subaroo? Nothing? Have you got a
CD case full of Indigo Girls album?
Speaker 7 (24:49):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:49):
What does that mean?
Speaker 14 (24:50):
It means that in there is a chick car for
a chicks set like other chicks?
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Be guy, somewhere in the world. Do you get that?
Who's Subaru's most famous celebrities?
Speaker 14 (25:00):
Folksperson Martina Navratalova?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Case closed up?
Speaker 14 (25:05):
Just a second, guys, Hi, honey, No, nothing yet, still
kind of running down the list here. No, not leaning
toward anyone in particular yet. As a matter of fact,
I'll keep you posted. Okay, what's that?
Speaker 7 (25:20):
Well?
Speaker 14 (25:21):
I guess so, okay, go ahead. Skim Milk regular milk,
carb Smart frozen lasagna and what oh is that the
one that has the wings? Okay, regular Maxi or super Maxi?
What they make an Ultra Maxi? Now really okay, I'm
(25:42):
on it all right bye? So college buddy, are you
saying that Martina Navratalova is a.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
You know, married man? You really need to get out more. Well.
Speaker 14 (25:55):
Titanic Trail will be able to agree on a new
crime busting vehicle.
Speaker 6 (25:59):
Killed it again?
Speaker 14 (25:59):
Next time I will hear the stocky Mannish female salesperson
at Carmacks say.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Ooh, Stubaru Forester. Excellent choke.
Speaker 14 (26:07):
My friend, married man say, does everybody know about this
but me? And drinking buddy say, you know, I.
Speaker 6 (26:14):
Kind of like you, big girl. You got a sister
that lacks boys.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Dog mess.
Speaker 14 (26:18):
Next SPEINCTA tightening adventure, same married time saying married channels.
Speaker 16 (26:24):
There's a school looks you'll find them married nine.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Ahead, episode two in about an hour. Right now, it's
John Boyds. You have at did time. Let's jump right
in here. With an annual production run topping over a
three hundred million a year, this well known Danish toy
company is technically the world's largest manufacturer of rubber tires.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
What is the dog toy Kong, the dog toy Kong.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
That's that round ball that you put peanut butter in.
And oh yeah, but Pearl had one.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
Y'all, there's a bunch of rubber tires.
Speaker 5 (27:05):
Okay, fine, good guess thank you?
Speaker 1 (27:10):
What y'all got? One? Eight hundred Big Show told free
loud across America. We played John boyd Jeopardy Next. That's
(27:41):
Big Show Alradyo rode until your Monday, September to thirty
of today's feature track for to make Sure Big Box,
the Crocodile's taggert The rains are back Grizzly. Search for
keyword grizzly. Over ten thousand tracks you choose from none
nonsense age fifteen tracks for nine nine to nine, Thank You,
Hold and album Say It's Running You A by the
(28:04):
Mac of America Roval four hundred Sunday October thirteenth and
Charlotte Motor Speedway.
Speaker 11 (28:09):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
You're going to link at the Big Show dot com.
And right now let's play Yells live across America. It's
John Boy Jemish and now your host has a bear hunter.
He has bad news. Bear spray might just piss the
bear off. Good news pissed off bears will kill you
(28:34):
lots Faster's johnbo like Goole's I hate a. Perry out
of dun North Carolina. Good morning, Perry, Hey, god, hey, buddy.
You first up today for John boyd jeppar day. So
we're looking at an annual production run the top over
three hundred million a year. This well known Danish toy
(28:56):
company is technically the world's largest manufacturer of we're tires.
What you got, Perry?
Speaker 12 (29:05):
I told Jackie one answer.
Speaker 6 (29:06):
I'm gonna change that answer.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
I'm gonna say huffy.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
You say huffy? Okay? Is it huffy?
Speaker 5 (29:17):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (29:18):
No, a huffy toy? Did they make toys? Oh? Huffy bikes?
How about that? They're right? All right? Well, Perry, good
guess sounds like you should be right, but no appreciate
you playing up. You try again soon, buddy, Have a
great day. All right, man, Let's go to Dwayne Johnson
(29:42):
out of Clinton, South Carolina. Good morning, Dwayne, Good morning,
big dog.
Speaker 7 (29:47):
How you doing that too?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
And dollars? And may I welcome in? All right, Dwyane,
your turn. What toy company? It's an annual production run
topping over three hundred million. They're technically the world's largest
manufacturer of rubber tires.
Speaker 7 (30:02):
I know the answer to this. I used to step
on the damn thing all the time barefoot. Oh it's
got to be legs.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
You got to be legos. That's crazy. I couldn't put
that together, all right, man, So uh yeah, Randon said,
just don't try to figure it out. It's just one
of those odd facts right there. And Dwayne, congratulations to you, buddy.
(30:29):
We're gonna mount Olive Pickles prize back. Head down to
Clinton for you.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
Thank you so much. Can't give a shout out.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
You go ahead.
Speaker 7 (30:38):
I'd like to give a shout out responders and very
personnel and my old buddy Henry, and most of all
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Whin't you sweet? Dwayne? We appreciate you and your buzz
listening to us. Man, you hang on.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Alright.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
Here is your bottom of the hour news on the
other side of time capsule listened on the Monday Morning
Live and then mister Poppy in wait.
Speaker 11 (31:11):
A minute, This is the award winning John Boy and
(31:42):
Billie Big.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Show, the South's number one export. It is time for
Oliver well.
Speaker 2 (32:02):
Well, well, life used to be so simple when you
were a kid. You were encouraged to live and let live. Nowadays,
it's a much different story. Yes, our country is in
decline and political correctness has run amok. The moral fabric
(32:24):
of our society has become frayed and threadbare. We've given
into the persnickety demands of the few. And it seems
everyone's skin is thinner than Obama's resume. And you know
what I understood everywhere? I said, I've been here too long.
(32:49):
And if you want a perfect example of how drastically
things have changed, just look at the difference between high
school in the fifties and high school in this era
of modern enlightenment. Let me preach on it. Job I
didn't understand.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
A word about.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
Jackie goes squirrel hunting before school and then pulls into
the parking lot with her shotgun in the truck's gun rack.
Now in the fifties, the principal notices Jackie's shotgun and
gets his shotgun to show her. Today, the school goes
into lockdown, the FBI is called. Jackie has hauled off
to jail and never sees her truck or gun again.
(33:31):
Counselors help traumatize students and teachers. Jackie falls in love
with a four hundred pounds cell mat Croatian. In the fifties,
Johnny gives his Muslim friend Ali a Christmas card. Ali
thanks him and they build a snowman. Today, Johnny gives
(33:57):
his Muslim friend Ali a Christmas card. A nosy teacher
sees this and takes Johnny to the counselor's office. The
police are called and Johnny is charged with a hate crime.
The school board calls a special meeting and arranges a
special prayer room for the Muslim student. All decorations and
references to Christmas are removed. They now celebrate the Winter Festival.
(34:20):
The other Muslim students behead the snowman. Ah Billy won't
sit still in class and disrupts other students. In the fifties,
Billy is sent to the principal's office and gets the paddle.
He goes back to class and sits still brother when
(34:41):
he gets home, as father tells him he had it coming.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Today.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
They put Billy on ridlin and he becomes a zombie.
He's tested for add and the school gets extra money
from the state because of his disability. Billy later sues
the school for an undisclosed six figure sum, which he
squanders on a trip to Occupy Wall Street. Marsi breaks
(35:09):
a neighbor's window when her father gives her a whipping
with the belt. In the fifties, Massie is more careful
next time. She grows up normal, goes to college, and
becomes a successful business woman. These days, Marsie's father is
arrested for child abuse. Marcie is sent to foster care
and joins a gang. The state psychologist determines that Marsie
(35:32):
was abused, and her father goes to prison. Her mom
shacks up with the psychologists. Boy Randy falls while running
on the playground and scrapes his knee. He's found crying
by his teacher, Nancy, who gives him a hug. Now
in the fifties, in a short time, Randy feels better
and goes back to talking down to the other students. Today,
(36:00):
Nancy is accused of being a sexual predator and loses
her job. She faces three years in state prison. Randy
undergoes five years of therapy where he discovers that he's gay.
Pedro fails high school English. In the fifties, Pedro goes
(36:20):
to summer school, passes English, and goes to college. Today,
Pedro's cause is taken up by the state. The liberal
media says teaching English is a requirement for graduation is racist.
The ACLU file suit against the state and the school system.
English is banned as the core curriculum. Pedro is given
(36:41):
a diploma anyway, because he cannot speak English. He ends
up mowing lawns for a living. You get the idea.
I think it's time to take our country back. But
to the rest of you who might embrace the way
our society has descended into this ridiculous state. To you,
I say, Obama Biden twenty twelve.
Speaker 11 (37:10):
That I understood, sewn Boy and Billy shut up Morning radio?
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Done right, good Monday Morning. Got the big show on
(37:49):
the radio. Well, it's all stand chatting up the snack lady.
I'm sure when she kicks him to the curb he'll
pop it.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
WHOA, don't mind if I do, don Boy, Randy Jackie
her big show, Lesener, Barry Hapsen's on the monitor West End.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Any luck with a snack lady.
Speaker 2 (38:07):
Well, as a matter of fact, my bullcap young friend,
I now have her number. Really, you know it, bros,
I'm down the clown ready to romance. Riggy tajiggy. As
I've heard it said, it looks like.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
You look might have chained stand what happened?
Speaker 2 (38:21):
Well, I finally deduced the thing that sabotaged my amore.
It was the demon drink Ah, so you stopped drinking.
It was time, John boy, I knew when I made
a huge faux path was a faux pas, A crude misstatement,
a verbal famble, a spoken schmagege was it's a story. Well,
I was at Red Blobster Lobster. No, no, Red Blobster.
(38:45):
It's like Hooters, but with seafood, and all the waitresses
tend to be on the hefty side, beautifully bulky, deliciously
thick stout to put it bluntly.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
Well, did you have a few too many and hit
on a hostess?
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Sadly, No, it was a fellow patron. She was Have
you got a minute?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Sure?
Speaker 2 (39:01):
She was seated in a booth and was holding a baby,
A baby she decided to feed, and not with a bottle.
If you smell what the stand is cooking.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
I got it.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
Well, I was on my seventh Alaskan duck fart.
Speaker 1 (39:12):
Wait, what oh?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
The Alaskan buck fart. It's a layered cocktail that is
visually appealing and extremely intact.
Speaker 1 (39:19):
Again, okay, got it? Well.
Speaker 2 (39:20):
I was also intoxicated by the fair damsel's beauty, fortified
by liquid courage. When the waiter asked if I'd like
anything else, I motioned to her and I said, I'll
have what the kids having.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
So did you get a phone number?
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yes, for an attorney. So I decided then and there
I was on the proverbial wagon.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Well, good for you. I'm proud of you.
Speaker 2 (39:42):
I will say this is not the first time I
tried to quit. A few years ago, I woke up
one Sunday morning with a solid buzz still clinging to
my brain. But I had enough of my faculties to
know I needed to do something. So I stumbled quite
literally across a baptismal service at the condo pan and
the minister said, are you ready to find Jesus? I
(40:03):
said hell, yes, so he dunked me in the water.
When he pulled me up, he said, did you find Jesus?
I said nope, so he dunked me again. After about
thirty seconds, he pulled me up, brother, did you find
Jesus yet? I said nope, so he dunked me again,
this time for about a minute. When he pulled me up,
he said, Sinner, have you still not found Jesus? I said, no,
Are you sure this is where he fell in?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
Well, at first you don't succeed.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Don't drink again. Well, I'm going to call the snack
lady for a hot day. Now she wants me to
do her taxes. Hey, I'll take what I can gets.
Speaker 1 (40:42):
Good morning. There's a big show on the radio. Hell
are you climsy? Premise?
Speaker 11 (40:47):
Hreh.
Speaker 17 (40:48):
When I'm on inside of the pond, I get my
daily deuce of culture and edification every morning. Run these
two delightful lands, John Boy and Billy right here on
the big ship. You know, I hate to break it
to you boys where I come from, your old Yankees?
Who will?
Speaker 1 (41:05):
I thought it was Bunny. Hey boy, it's a big
(41:41):
sewing the radio, rolling to your Monday morning, last day
of say September, having a birthday today, Happy birthday you
sharing one with rapper teeth pain on Tee Paine's forty
actress marrying Chrid a large is forty nine funny movie edit. Hof,
(42:03):
don't worry. Do I need to even ask? He af
That's probably not even problem. I ain't saying nothing else.
All right?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Oh, I think this must be eating she did.
Speaker 5 (42:20):
She did the biopic of French singer.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Oh here's somebody we know. How about Big Show Bud
Richard Bowden, singer, musician comedian Richard Bowden. Up there? What
a rigid guy, they look at Richard Man. He's seventy
nine years old. He ain't as old as Angie Dickinson.
So he might actually be able to run her down.
Now it's been the goal of.
Speaker 15 (42:45):
His for.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
Oh right, all right, now let's focus on our happy marriage.
He is here, our married man. Monday Episode two, Married
man riding in the minivan hitting minutes. Big Show rolls on.
(43:28):
It's Big Show on the radio. One m very popular
married man, mondays, get back in just second. Tell you
about the prize back you can win. You win beat
the block. I got it a hat Tjer Tumbler twenty
five dollars guys car from Lord Tiger's Motorcycle Lawyers at
Ride Plus. You're registered to win that one of a
(43:48):
kind Big Show motorcycle from Lord Tigers custom built by
Rick Bray r KB Customs. Look for the link at
the Big Show dot com. Red Sure to win, make
sure your name is in a hatte Also go to
big Show, oh bike dot com uh win a prize
pack by playing one of our wonderful games in minutes
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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