November 18, 2024 • 34 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, - it's collection week for Operation Christmas Child and Randy Riddle brings Mama Gump back to the microphone.. - The Not Ready for Drive Time Players shuffle into the Playhouse for today's performance.. - John Boy has a bright idea to hire prisoners to work for the show.. - Speaking of which, we’ll put some of them in the lineup for Dumb Crooks News.. - Ward Burton Raps, by request.. - We’ll share some pretty funny classified ads we've run across.. - Oliver checks in with an essay on women.. - John Boy insists that we give our short lived “Right or Wrong" contest another shot, before we shelf it forever.. - and will wrap up with a letter from a listener…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Good morning, A big shows on the radio. See man
coming up, Kurnavan's quiz. Easiest way for you to join
the winners take seed and when.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Wait about a bunch of requests for Ward Burton the
hip New Rappi Ward Burton.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
So here you go, yo yo, Check two, check two,
South Boston, Virginia in the high I said, South Boston,
Virginia in the high. Wow, my spot is at all right, y'all.
(01:01):
Hold on your second him, help Hey, give it to
the help with a hip help hobby. You don't stop
the rocking to the bang bang gog. You say up,
jump the buggy to the rhythm of the buggy to
beat book.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Right up, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
From Bill Davis Racing Big Fat Kempin's what y'all are facing.
I'm the VIP command of c Big w two, the
Aid twenty two, the man from Dodge, biggest scams in
the whole garage. I've got the cop, got the motor,
great big cat on the skid, still low the hom killer.
It ain't no feller. Don't mess around with the big caterpillar.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I'm cool. I ain't no fool.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I just opened up my own speech in school.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
MC baton that's for sake, see me coming. You're going
to behting.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm catboy. Keep that boy. My spot's a.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Whole lot better than bat boy, Killer Vanilla, big caterpillar.
When I hit the mic, it's always a feller that
ain't enough to make you.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
Flip your wig.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Come on down to the souvenir rig where a trailer up,
little round the outside, rowndie outside, rownnie outside tail a
box cup go rounding outside. You down with c At,
You down with c At, You down with c At
in the street.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
All right, that's enough, it is mess down peace.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
We out way to your mama. Now, good morning. Got
the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I hope you all doing it this morning, November the eighteenth.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
How about that man? That's all right.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, let's find somebody put in the winter circle here.
It is the easiest way for you to win. Be
caller nine at one eight hundred, Big show. Take c
get the prize package. What we're dealing with, Bidley.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
We got an update on the Bill Gates World Tour.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's right, Bill's out world it up. Alright, then, well
let's do it. We'll take Caller nine play with you next.
(03:15):
Good morning, a big show it's.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
On the radio. Hi you ready now, girl? Oh come,
Wi's it's time to whueiz might say yay.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
All right out of Titusville, Florida. We got Angus on
the line. Hello, Angus.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Wha whay man?
Speaker 6 (03:41):
I feel up here in the teenage kid getting the
first car.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
All right, man, we're glad you hear Angus. You listen
to bit and let's if you can win this thing
right quick.
Speaker 7 (03:50):
Legas speaking of dirty mo Posse's the world's richest man.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates visited the city of Hideerabad in
India last week. Gates was announcing a one hundred million
dollar donation from his Charitabyl Foundation to fight the spread
of AIDS in India, and on arrival, Gates was greeted
with a special gift, an eight foot tall condom, said
(04:11):
the local coordinator for the program. A.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
This is to recognize the importance of condom use in
fighting AIDS. B We wanted a humorous moment in an
otherwise solemn ceremony. Or see, we figure, if you're going
to be one, you might as well dress like.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
What I guess I'm gonna have to take on that one?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Good?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
All right, appreciate you listen Big Show and beautiful Titus
film Florida.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 9 (04:52):
Huzzah, this is King of vedaw. Oh is that fight all?
Neverthean that it is? Yeah, by the creed, by royal
proclamation that my new Port Justice shall henceforth be John
Boy and Billy in the realm node as the Big Show.
Are they funny? They better be unless they want to
(05:16):
be Dragon food? Good morning, The Big Show is on
(05:51):
the radio.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Here they are following rasually taken from classified ads to newspapers.
Free Yorkshire Terrier eight years old, hateful little Dog, YEP,
Free puppies one half Cocker's Manual one half Sneaky neighbors Dog,
Free puppies, part German Shepherd, part stupid dog found dirty
(06:15):
white dog, looks like a rat been.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Out awhile better be reward.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
High maintenance to one man seven woman hot tube snowblower
for sale only used on snowy days. Two wire mesh
butchering gloves, one five finger, one three finger pair, fifteen dollars.
Tickle me Elmo still in box comes with its own
(06:43):
nineteen eighty eight Mustang sl Auto Excellent condition, sixty eight
hundred bucks, phone number cows for sale, never bred calves.
Also one gay bull for sale. Full size mattress twenty
year warranty like new slight urine smell, nody Nordiy track
(07:05):
three hundred dollars, hardly used called chubby Bill septic cleaning.
We haul American made products. Ooh oh Hummels. Largest selection ever.
If it's in stock, we have it here.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You go.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Harrisburg Postal employees gun club meeting Georgia peaches California grown
eighty nine cents a poun nice parachute, never open, used once.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Slight urine smell.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Tired of working for only nine dollars and seventy five
cents per hour, We offer profit sharing and flexible hours
starting pay seven to nine.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Dollars per hour.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Exercise equipment Queen size mattress and box springs on.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Our sofa will seat the whole mob Italian.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Leather a joining nudist colony selling washer and dryer three
hundred bucks, open house, body, shaper's toning salon, free coffee
and donuts, and finally for sale by owner. Complete set
of Encyclopedia Britannica forty five volumes, excellent condition, one thousand
(08:25):
dollars for best offer no longer needed. Recently married wife
knows everything.
Speaker 10 (08:30):
There you go very much, Andrea, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
The big show is on the radio. Alright, let's bring
him in here? Is Oliver? Well?
Speaker 11 (09:06):
Well, well, ladies, does your husband think you've changed? Is
your life so frantic and hectic and frenzied that you
can barely muster enough energy to change the channel? Do
you find it harder and harder to summon the strength
(09:27):
to get up off the couch, stagger to the kitchen
and dish up that third bowl of ice cream? Have
you even given up on excuses as to why dinner sucks?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well?
Speaker 11 (09:45):
Have faith. The solution is simple drugs, and doctor Oliver
is here with just a few medical breakthroughs that'll have
you back to being that same old noosance that your
husband regrets ever marrying.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
First.
Speaker 11 (10:05):
Damn it all. Just take two and the rest of
the world can go whistle up a cat's rear end
for up to eight hours. Saint Mom's Wart a plant
extract that treats a mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious
(10:26):
for up to six hours. Empty nestrogen, a highly effective
suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how
awful your children were as teenagers and how you couldn't
wait till they moved out. Pepto bimbo liquid silicone for
(10:52):
single women two full cups swallowed before an evening out,
increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Dumbarol.
Speaker 11 (11:10):
When taken in conjunction with Pepto bimbo, it can cause
dangerously low IQ. Side effects include enjoyment of country music
so flippetor increases life expectancy of female commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off much better
(11:31):
male drivers. Antiboiotics for teenage girls highly effective in improving grades,
freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on clothes
and maker Menicillin potent. Antiboiotic for older women increases resistance
(11:56):
to such lines as you make me want to be
a better person, and can we get naked now? And
where we go and later? Biagra injectable stimulant that increases
potency and duration of shopping. Spreese extra strength by one all.
(12:20):
When taken with biagra, can cause indiscriminate spending frenzy so
severe the victim may even come Home with a John
Boy and Billy CD or a book by Monroe Fisher. Ragamat,
when administered to the husband or boyfriend, provides the same
(12:41):
constant irritation as ragging him all weekend, saving the Whites
the time and trouble of having to do it all herself.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Sex Sedron.
Speaker 11 (12:54):
Generates an excruciating headache within seconds, perfect for when your
husband comes home. Emmonon wants to get busy. And finally,
Jack aspirin relieves headaches caused by a man who can't
(13:15):
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. A complimentary case
will be sent to missus boy immediately.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Money Pal.
Speaker 12 (13:34):
The sun's up, the birds are singing, and two of
radio's longest running knuckleheads are on the air. Well, not
right the second, but soon. And that's what they call
hitting the comedy lottery, the John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Oh they are a Ryan, a regular laugh ryot who.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. John
Wore Billy in a gang. Welcome Randy Riddle from Samaritan's Purse.
Now little baby Dog, Grandma Gump in the studio with
us from ix Ford, West Virginia.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Hey y'all, how you doing all right?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Good to say it, old grandma, call a Grandma gump,
because well, I guess he just started helping out Operation
Christmas Child Samaritan's Purse. And of course you're talking about Randy.
This is the week, yes, so get the shoe boxes in.
Speaker 13 (14:55):
Collection begins today. Collection Week is today the eighteenth or
the twenty fifth. Locations across the country are opening their
doors today to collect Operation Christmas Child shoebox gifts. Samaritans
person will do the rest. We'll send the shoeboxes to
children in need it.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Wow, Grandma, that's pretty sweet, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (15:12):
Yeah, when I get excited, I tell everybody this first day,
don't know, nobody bother me because I'm gonna get really
emotional thinking about all these kids getting these boxes.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I love I love it so hopefully.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, you went out this weekend, you know where He
wanted you to go ahead and get that ready, So
you start today. But if not you hadn't yet, just
take some time and fill the shoebox. Get get in
the closet, goot old shoebox. If you got kids, you
take them and let them fill the boxes themselves. And
know that they're gonna be touching a kid on the
other part of the world.
Speaker 14 (15:39):
This is not gonna have a Chris and all these kids,
these are the kids who need to know that somebody
loves them, somebody cares about what's happening to them. These
kids live in the darkest, most frightening places of the world.
And it's so simple for us to do, you know, just.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Really, I mean, you know, there's so much stuff that
we have. You probably don't have to go to the store,
you know, if you just come and go through Johnny's.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Office or six.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah, we're looking at.
Speaker 13 (16:03):
We're looking for real simple items. We're looking for small
balls or baby dolls for a girl. We're looking for
jump ropes and hard candy, school supplies, small things that
will fit in all those things right there in your office.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Flashlights are cool. If you put an assortment of battery
a little.
Speaker 13 (16:19):
Bit of batteries in there, that'll be all set. We're
looking for a note from you, the sender to the
child who might receive these shoebox gifts.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Now tell us how to find out where to drop
them off in our area.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Two ways.
Speaker 13 (16:31):
Check the Big Show dot Com a website for a
weblink to Operation Christmas Child. You'll find a zip code
locator there that'll tell you exactly where to go. It'll
give you the five closest locations nearest you. The other
way is to call our eight hundred number, which is
one eight hundred three five three five nine four nine.
And just because collection week is this week does not
(16:52):
mean it's too late to participate. We're collecting through next Monday.
Speaker 15 (16:54):
I think the neatest part about this is having kids
give to kids if you can get you.
Speaker 14 (17:00):
We're right here. Teaches children to give, not expecting anything
in return. A lot of things are based in the
United States on if you do this, such and such
will happen to you, and it teaches them the joy
of giving. You know, to help someone who can't possibly
give back to you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Now I know each box when you go in, you're like,
don't tape them down or dunct table. Like A really
good idea would be like a rubber band around them.
Speaker 13 (17:22):
Just put a rubber band around your box and hand
it over to our collection center location. We're going to
get all these boxes into Samaritans person will take a
look at them, make sure there's nothing inappropriate for children.
Or nothing that might spill or break or damage other boxes,
and then we'll package them up, we'll tape them, and
then we'll send them on.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So what about making out boxes like if you know
there's some girls stuff in it to put for a girl.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Or put on the outside of the box.
Speaker 13 (17:47):
The beauty. One of the beauties of this project is
that you get to pick the age and gender of
the child that will receive your boxes. You choose, and
that's one of the great ways to personalize this project.
I have a nephew who's seven years old, and we
take him down to them oart of the Dollar Store
and we find things that he likes to put inside
the shoe boxes. He likes to fill the box with
match box toys as many as he can fit inside.
(18:08):
But we try to encourage him to have a little
r as well.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Well, Grandma, what's your week gonna be? Like, what are
you gonna be doing?
Speaker 14 (18:14):
We'll be hectic, but I'm gonna love it. Yeah, it's
gonna be getting up every morning going to the processing center.
And one of the reasons I really love being there
is because of the volunteers.
Speaker 15 (18:23):
And these are centers that take all the boxes, open
them up, make sure things are correct, and seal them
up appropriately, put them on palletts. It's like it's the
most amazing operation you've ever seen.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
That's seene Man.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Once you see what.
Speaker 15 (18:33):
Goes on inside one of these big centers, you understand
why the collection has to take place so early in
order to be shipped over in time.
Speaker 14 (18:40):
Just imagine. My favorite place to be is the garbage dumps.
I love to be in the garbage dumps because that's
where they live. There's no greater place to tell them
about Heaven. You're setting in the midst of all this garbage,
and I want to describe it for you. There's rats
running everywhere, there's dogs that have the mange, and these
people get them maybe a piece of plastic, and they
lay it down and they claim that spot that's their bed.
(19:02):
The plastic or the cardboard goes over because it stays
off the glass, you know, keeps them off the glass.
And then to set there to put a child on
your lap in the midst of all that, and said,
let me tell you about a place called heaven. And
you tell those kids you read and do exactly what
it says on the back, and I'll see you in heaven.
They don't want even the toys anymore. And these kids
(19:22):
that never get toys, they want to find out how
they can get to this place called heaven. It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Well that is neat.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
So this is the week and go to the Big
Show dot com. Click on the operation Christmas child Smares
pursa link right there and find a collection here you
or you can call if a telephone works. Fine eight
hundred three five three five nine four nine. Absolutely, thank
you guys. Keep us up to date on going Grandma Gump,
you go get them.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Boating, run for run. I wanted to make you show
on the right now.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah, we talked about we have my middle boy in here, Michael,
talk about get him to name all his friends. He
got ickybab away Uniping ping pong.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
You know, I can't pronounce it. So we had little
birthday party for him. Now it looked like a un meeting.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
You just might end up with a black daughter in law.
I wonder about that one again. This year our theme
is the New World Order.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Y'all.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Thanks for going.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And we got to say hi to Henry Benfield. Yes
it's handy Bedfield listened, Yeah, number nine, him and the
Reverend Hawkins just got back. It took a little detour.
You know what you need. You need next town. That boy,
just stop by the studio. We got some time telling
you that you can put all.
Speaker 15 (20:38):
Your friends on one little beef and you could tell
them all high at one time, and you know they'd
hear it.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
They don't like me that much. I'd rather hear from us.
All right, they'll go to the fat boy. All right. Then,
well let's do this game.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Callers nine and ten, one, eight hundred Big Show play
against each other.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
All right, We ready to do it. We played tried
our phone.
Speaker 15 (20:57):
Unless you want to say hi to somebody.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
If anybody wants to be my friend, please call a
Big Show again.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Good reason for next time. Good morning, a big show.
(21:31):
It's on the radio. All right, it's.
Speaker 16 (21:33):
Time try it our phone, Try it or phone. That's
our contest. Here's our song. It won't take very long
to play.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Try it or fall.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We got Betty from Rolling Oak, Virginia calling him a nine.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Good morning, Betty, How are you fine? How you doing?
John boy? You were goods waity welcome.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Let's say you're gonna be playing against Amy from Jacksboro, Tennessee.
Good morning, Amy, Good morning, Hey Betty, Amy Amy, Betty.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Bud Yeah, what's up with that?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
We're gonna go start with Betty. I'll read a statement,
bet of course you say true or false. Randy will
call at your names before each question so we can
keep it straight. Jackie keeping score the one against the
most correct n sixty seconds will win.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
All right, Right, you ready to go? Ready with Betty?
All right, Betty? Crap back is a term of swimsuit design.
True Amy, Right, Sorry, Amy?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Never a winger appeared in Wonder Woman. Wrong, Betty, They're
righteous brothers were brothers? Row Amy, Mazda Car Company once
made cork products. Right, Betty, A Perrywinkle is a Devonshire cake. Right,
(22:56):
Amy Romanov is a Russian department store. Raw, Betty gully
Aoh first use a telescope in sixteen oh nine. True, right, Amy,
kangaroo tail is used other than Afrodizi Acto. Right, Betty,
Harpoon is the fourth largest constellation. Right Amy, red spride
(23:21):
is a new US Navy aeroplane.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Right, Betty, Roddy, what do we got here? Jackie? Walcome
up four?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right for Betty from rowan Oake Virginia Amy from Jacksonboro, Tennessee.
Three Right, Betty wind.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Belly, were you keeping score again?
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And you had a tie?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
I had no, I had the exact same thing.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Good, we'll quit. And since when do you answer the
name belly Belly?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I answered to a lot of different things.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Fat Boy was answering me over there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Hey, Amy, nice tribe, Baby, you call back and try again.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Okay, congratulations baby, Thank you Amy.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Ain't Amy sweet? Say now these girls they can get along.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I thought it was gonna be a cats Betty, Congratulations, Baby,
you got the big old prize package.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Hang on, Jackie, get your information all right, Thank you
so much, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio
right here, and let's go right here. I'm talking about
John Boy, Billy, Randy, Jackie and racing Fat Boy in
the studio with us. Hey on, we gotta we gotta
break right here in class a bit and going on
over the open line.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Time it'll we go wrong. Good morning, it's been show
(25:03):
on your radio for you Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Ah, boys and girls together around his time.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Give's action.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Today's episode Blue grit As Our story.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Opens Woodrow Boudreau is just stopped by the home of
his best friend, Justin LeBlanc to give him a ride
to work morning.
Speaker 9 (25:30):
Boudreaux, how monyju Stan, who gave you that black eye?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Marie? Marie, you mean your ex wife?
Speaker 5 (25:38):
We me and her went out to dinner last night
to talk about getting back together.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
From that not on your head. Don't look like it
went too good.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
But last night went fine. She even come back to
the house and slept over. But this morning it all
come upot roight quick, what happened? Technical problem?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Do what now? I got up about.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Seven o'clock, walked in the living room Den Marie sitting
down a couch playing on the TV. Is this most
vile triple X naked movie you have ever seen in
your life?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
This?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
He is what you call some of that the hard
pot chornagra. And I say, woman, what the sam hell
going on here? She give me the skunky and say
you tell me, mister hotpants. I just cut the TV
on and there it was. It's a naked western called
Blue Grit. That fat sheriff supposed to be helping that
little girl find a boy to kill her daddy.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
You ask me, he looking at the wrong place. Where
did this movie come from?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
What Marie want to know?
Speaker 5 (26:34):
I said, donand I don't buy no naked channels. Must
be some kind of screw up at the cable company.
So I call him on the phone. Cable man say, yeah,
we got a new boy out the controls. He done
pushed the wrong switch and unscramble one of them naked channels.
We're working on it right now. Don't seem like Marie
ought to be mad? I for you something like, hey,
tell me about it. So I splayed the situation. She
calmed down and say I show him. Glad you don't
(26:56):
waste your money on all that perverted mess. Let's find
something else to look at. She go flip and channels
and run across these two good old boys in a
bast boat. She said, there you go a fishing show.
That's much more better. Let's watch this. We might learn something,
saw me and her said dad. About two or three
minute finally I pick up the remote and flip back
over the blue grit or the naked channel. When we say, hey,
(27:17):
how come you did that? I said, well, dolland from
what I remember, you already know how to fish.
Speaker 11 (27:23):
And the fight was.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
All we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
She beat me so long I missed the second movie,
The Green Horny.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Chill.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Then again next time we'll hear naked Tom Cheney from
Blue Grint say, hey, big man.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Let me hold a dollar. Good morning, a big show
(28:14):
us on the radio. John Bond, Billy Randy, all right, hey,
let me.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Tell you all little story here. There's from Tom Grizzard
that had done in Dublin. Georgia said, we might think
this was funny.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Is it a sad story accident?
Speaker 15 (28:28):
I'm trying to pick music up.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
No, No, it's a story from his youth. We'll just
just figured out. I started hot, sweaty, and covered with
tobacco tar. We had music.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
We had cropped all day long. My cousin and I
had jumped into his sixty two beetle and run to
Boone Saloon to do what most seventeen year old tobacco
croppers do in Coffee County after a twelve hour day.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
In the field.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We were being on getting some beer, well, knowing Homer's
reputation in the In fact, we were kN and knew
a lot more about Homer than he would care for
us too, getting beer was.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Not that much of a problem.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
This was back in nineteen seventy three. We had left
the social club and taken Highway four forty one toward
Pridgin when my cousin decided the road worthiness of his
VW should be challenged. At that time, we decided to
take one seventeen dirt at that time back home. We
had been on the dirt for about five minutes when
we spotted a buzzard up ahead in the middle of
(29:26):
the road. I only had a minute when I knew
what my cousin had already decided. Going back for a second,
I'd like to remind and enlighten you on our vehicle
of choice, a nineteen sixty two VW, beetle good tires,
eight ball shifter, handled black semi leatherette seats, bent steering
will and rust all the way around each window, one
lonely headlight, one running board, bottomless dash, and a wiper.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That could be shared.
Speaker 8 (29:49):
Do he eat people?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
When I realized that the buzzard was a target for
the VW, it was too late to do anything except
go along with it. My cousin shifted hard into third
gear and that little motor went to screaming as we
approached what we estimated to be thirty miles per hour.
Speedometer didn't work. By the time he went to fourth
we had made all preparations for impact. We had covered
(30:12):
every possible strategy that might occur, all of them except one.
Within striking distance. The great bird turned, looked us straight
in the face, and flapped his huge wings once, and
we were on him. Cublam boy or bird did not
expect what happened next. With one motion of his wings,
he had managed to place his body in line with
(30:33):
our windshield.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
We hit hard.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
As I looked out, I saw the windshield fold up
around the bird and fly past us into the rear
of the car through a hail of broken glass and
extremely rusty VW parts.
Speaker 11 (30:46):
Wooo.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
My cousin brought the heap to a stop on the
side of the dirt road. After about two seconds of
solid screaming. We were asking each other. We were asking
each other if we were okay, whoa We were lucky
not to get hurt, but hey, that poor unfortunate, innocent bird,
(31:10):
we thought. As we heard a noise in the back
seat that sounded like the rolling away of a mighty stone.
In slow motion. When we turned around with our mouths
open and eyes wide, I could feel those things tightened
that you always hear older folks talk about. We were
now about eight inches away from the biggest, ugliest, and
apparently maddest bird I had ever seen. I tried to scream,
(31:37):
but all that came out was ip ip. Now we
realize this bird ain't hurt real bad, and it's probably
tougher than any animal we have ever treed. It was
at this moment in time decisions had to be made quickly.
As it became apparent what our decision was, the great
(31:57):
bird leaned forward into the front as if he were
on the attack, and spewed the most horrid, smelling and
feeling white liquid from his mouth that I had ever witnessed.
We were covered before we could get the doors open.
Suddenly our screams were audible. Out of the car and
(32:21):
now at a dead, barefooted run, we made way for
a large sycamore tree on the side of the road.
Dry heaves, dry heaves, and all yes. At this time
the situation is looking grim. Has bound happenson or later
we were covered in something that seems to be on
the verge of removing upper levels of skin with no
(32:42):
water or anything to get it off. Results. Two teenagers
on the ground rolling like dogs in the dirt after
a bath didn't help. Now we're covered with dirt filled
buzzard vomit. Now a young man whippers, why didn't you
stop me? You you're crazy. You knew when you shifted
(33:02):
there was no going back.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Well.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
After a little more arguing and a scuffle to the
side who was getting the bird out, the buzzard stumbled
from the v W boy who were shocked as they
slowly made steps toward us. Next situation, panic stricken teenage
boys as we frantically looked for an escape. The bird
turned and slowly flew off with no apparent injury. The
(33:31):
trip home was slow and quiet, with an occasional gag
or he from the odor in the car. We bathed
in the barn after a good whipping from my uncle,
not because of the beer of the bird, but for
going to Boom saloon.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Thank you, Tom. Her story from.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
Your youth Mom says they're the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Wow, I'm all with a bith box. Is here all
your favorites?
Speaker 7 (34:04):
Four Decades of the Big Show ninety nine since each
fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Buy them onnth to play them anywhere.
Speaker 7 (34:08):
You can shop the Big Box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Order Big Show Stuff I Phone. The number is eight
hundred and four to seven one.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Stuff Online services by mnik dot Com.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You hear it now The John Boyebilly Late Rises podcast
up next, Mabe.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to us.
Will the Free I heart ready to go out say
tomorrow we love you.
Speaker 10 (34:32):
We made it
Good morning, A big shows on the radio. See man
coming up, Kurnavan's quiz. Easiest way for you to join
the winners take seed and when.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Wait about a bunch of requests for Ward Burton the
hip New Rappi Ward Burton.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
So here you go, yo yo, Check two, check two,
South Boston, Virginia in the high I said, South Boston,
Virginia in the high. Wow, my spot is at all right, y'all.
(01:01):
Hold on your second him, help Hey, give it to
the help with a hip help hobby. You don't stop
the rocking to the bang bang gog. You say up,
jump the buggy to the rhythm of the buggy to
beat book.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Right up, y'all.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
From Bill Davis Racing Big Fat Kempin's what y'all are facing.
I'm the VIP command of c Big w two, the
Aid twenty two, the man from Dodge, biggest scams in
the whole garage. I've got the cop, got the motor,
great big cat on the skid, still low the hom killer.
It ain't no feller. Don't mess around with the big caterpillar.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I'm cool. I ain't no fool.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I just opened up my own speech in school.
Speaker 3 (01:41):
MC baton that's for sake, see me coming. You're going
to behting.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
I'm catboy. Keep that boy. My spot's a.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
Whole lot better than bat boy, Killer Vanilla, big caterpillar.
When I hit the mic, it's always a feller that
ain't enough to make you.
Speaker 5 (01:56):
Flip your wig.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Come on down to the souvenir rig where a trailer up,
little round the outside, rowndie outside, rownnie outside tail a
box cup go rounding outside. You down with c At,
You down with c At, You down with c At
in the street.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
All right, that's enough, it is mess down peace.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
We out way to your mama. Now, good morning. Got
the big show on the radio.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I hope you all doing it this morning, November the eighteenth.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
How about that man? That's all right.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Well, let's find somebody put in the winter circle here.
It is the easiest way for you to win. Be
caller nine at one eight hundred, Big show. Take c
get the prize package. What we're dealing with, Bidley.
Speaker 4 (02:43):
We got an update on the Bill Gates World Tour.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
That's right, Bill's out world it up. Alright, then, well
let's do it. We'll take Caller nine play with you next.
(03:15):
Good morning, a big show it's.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
On the radio. Hi you ready now, girl? Oh come,
Wi's it's time to whueiz might say yay.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
All right out of Titusville, Florida. We got Angus on
the line. Hello, Angus.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Wha whay man?
Speaker 6 (03:41):
I feel up here in the teenage kid getting the
first car.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
All right, man, we're glad you hear Angus. You listen
to bit and let's if you can win this thing
right quick.
Speaker 7 (03:50):
Legas speaking of dirty mo Posse's the world's richest man.
Microsoft founder Bill Gates visited the city of Hideerabad in
India last week. Gates was announcing a one hundred million
dollar donation from his Charitabyl Foundation to fight the spread
of AIDS in India, and on arrival, Gates was greeted
with a special gift, an eight foot tall condom, said
(04:11):
the local coordinator for the program. A.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
This is to recognize the importance of condom use in
fighting AIDS. B We wanted a humorous moment in an
otherwise solemn ceremony. Or see, we figure, if you're going
to be one, you might as well dress like.
Speaker 6 (04:28):
What I guess I'm gonna have to take on that one?
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Good?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
All right, appreciate you listen Big Show and beautiful Titus
film Florida.
Speaker 6 (04:48):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 9 (04:52):
Huzzah, this is King of vedaw. Oh is that fight all?
Neverthean that it is? Yeah, by the creed, by royal
proclamation that my new Port Justice shall henceforth be John
Boy and Billy in the realm node as the Big Show.
Are they funny? They better be unless they want to
(05:16):
be Dragon food? Good morning, The Big Show is on
(05:51):
the radio.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Here they are following rasually taken from classified ads to newspapers.
Free Yorkshire Terrier eight years old, hateful little Dog, YEP,
Free puppies one half Cocker's Manual one half Sneaky neighbors Dog,
Free puppies, part German Shepherd, part stupid dog found dirty
(06:15):
white dog, looks like a rat been.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Out awhile better be reward.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
High maintenance to one man seven woman hot tube snowblower
for sale only used on snowy days. Two wire mesh
butchering gloves, one five finger, one three finger pair, fifteen dollars.
Tickle me Elmo still in box comes with its own
(06:43):
nineteen eighty eight Mustang sl Auto Excellent condition, sixty eight
hundred bucks, phone number cows for sale, never bred calves.
Also one gay bull for sale. Full size mattress twenty
year warranty like new slight urine smell, nody Nordiy track
(07:05):
three hundred dollars, hardly used called chubby Bill septic cleaning.
We haul American made products. Ooh oh Hummels. Largest selection ever.
If it's in stock, we have it here.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
You go.
Speaker 2 (07:23):
Harrisburg Postal employees gun club meeting Georgia peaches California grown
eighty nine cents a poun nice parachute, never open, used once.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
Slight urine smell.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Tired of working for only nine dollars and seventy five
cents per hour, We offer profit sharing and flexible hours
starting pay seven to nine.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Dollars per hour.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Exercise equipment Queen size mattress and box springs on.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Our sofa will seat the whole mob Italian.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Leather a joining nudist colony selling washer and dryer three
hundred bucks, open house, body, shaper's toning salon, free coffee
and donuts, and finally for sale by owner. Complete set
of Encyclopedia Britannica forty five volumes, excellent condition, one thousand
(08:25):
dollars for best offer no longer needed. Recently married wife
knows everything.
Speaker 10 (08:30):
There you go very much, Andrea, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
The big show is on the radio. Alright, let's bring
him in here? Is Oliver? Well?
Speaker 11 (09:06):
Well, well, ladies, does your husband think you've changed? Is
your life so frantic and hectic and frenzied that you
can barely muster enough energy to change the channel? Do
you find it harder and harder to summon the strength
(09:27):
to get up off the couch, stagger to the kitchen
and dish up that third bowl of ice cream? Have
you even given up on excuses as to why dinner sucks?
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Well?
Speaker 11 (09:45):
Have faith. The solution is simple drugs, and doctor Oliver
is here with just a few medical breakthroughs that'll have
you back to being that same old noosance that your
husband regrets ever marrying.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
First.
Speaker 11 (10:05):
Damn it all. Just take two and the rest of
the world can go whistle up a cat's rear end
for up to eight hours. Saint Mom's Wart a plant
extract that treats a mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious
(10:26):
for up to six hours. Empty nestrogen, a highly effective
suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how
awful your children were as teenagers and how you couldn't
wait till they moved out. Pepto bimbo liquid silicone for
(10:52):
single women two full cups swallowed before an evening out,
increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
Dumbarol.
Speaker 11 (11:10):
When taken in conjunction with Pepto bimbo, it can cause
dangerously low IQ. Side effects include enjoyment of country music
so flippetor increases life expectancy of female commuters by controlling
road rage and the urge to flip off much better
(11:31):
male drivers. Antiboiotics for teenage girls highly effective in improving grades,
freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on clothes
and maker Menicillin potent. Antiboiotic for older women increases resistance
(11:56):
to such lines as you make me want to be
a better person, and can we get naked now? And
where we go and later? Biagra injectable stimulant that increases
potency and duration of shopping. Spreese extra strength by one all.
(12:20):
When taken with biagra, can cause indiscriminate spending frenzy so
severe the victim may even come Home with a John
Boy and Billy CD or a book by Monroe Fisher. Ragamat,
when administered to the husband or boyfriend, provides the same
(12:41):
constant irritation as ragging him all weekend, saving the Whites
the time and trouble of having to do it all herself.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Sex Sedron.
Speaker 11 (12:54):
Generates an excruciating headache within seconds, perfect for when your
husband comes home. Emmonon wants to get busy. And finally,
Jack aspirin relieves headaches caused by a man who can't
(13:15):
remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number. A complimentary case
will be sent to missus boy immediately.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Money Pal.
Speaker 12 (13:34):
The sun's up, the birds are singing, and two of
radio's longest running knuckleheads are on the air. Well, not
right the second, but soon. And that's what they call
hitting the comedy lottery, the John Boy and Billy Big Show.
Oh they are a Ryan, a regular laugh ryot who.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Good morning, A big show is on the radio. John
Wore Billy in a gang. Welcome Randy Riddle from Samaritan's Purse.
Now little baby Dog, Grandma Gump in the studio with
us from ix Ford, West Virginia.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Hey y'all, how you doing all right?
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Good to say it, old grandma, call a Grandma gump,
because well, I guess he just started helping out Operation
Christmas Child Samaritan's Purse. And of course you're talking about Randy.
This is the week, yes, so get the shoe boxes in.
Speaker 13 (14:55):
Collection begins today. Collection Week is today the eighteenth or
the twenty fifth. Locations across the country are opening their
doors today to collect Operation Christmas Child shoebox gifts. Samaritans
person will do the rest. We'll send the shoeboxes to
children in need it.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Wow, Grandma, that's pretty sweet, isn't it.
Speaker 6 (15:12):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (15:12):
Yeah, when I get excited, I tell everybody this first day,
don't know, nobody bother me because I'm gonna get really
emotional thinking about all these kids getting these boxes.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
I love I love it so hopefully.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Yeah, you went out this weekend, you know where He
wanted you to go ahead and get that ready, So
you start today. But if not you hadn't yet, just
take some time and fill the shoebox. Get get in
the closet, goot old shoebox. If you got kids, you
take them and let them fill the boxes themselves. And
know that they're gonna be touching a kid on the
other part of the world.
Speaker 14 (15:39):
This is not gonna have a Chris and all these kids,
these are the kids who need to know that somebody
loves them, somebody cares about what's happening to them. These
kids live in the darkest, most frightening places of the world.
And it's so simple for us to do, you know, just.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Really, I mean, you know, there's so much stuff that
we have. You probably don't have to go to the store,
you know, if you just come and go through Johnny's.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Office or six.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah, we're looking at.
Speaker 13 (16:03):
We're looking for real simple items. We're looking for small
balls or baby dolls for a girl. We're looking for
jump ropes and hard candy, school supplies, small things that
will fit in all those things right there in your office.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Flashlights are cool. If you put an assortment of battery
a little.
Speaker 13 (16:19):
Bit of batteries in there, that'll be all set. We're
looking for a note from you, the sender to the
child who might receive these shoebox gifts.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Now tell us how to find out where to drop
them off in our area.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
Two ways.
Speaker 13 (16:31):
Check the Big Show dot Com a website for a
weblink to Operation Christmas Child. You'll find a zip code
locator there that'll tell you exactly where to go. It'll
give you the five closest locations nearest you. The other
way is to call our eight hundred number, which is
one eight hundred three five three five nine four nine.
And just because collection week is this week does not
(16:52):
mean it's too late to participate. We're collecting through next Monday.
Speaker 15 (16:54):
I think the neatest part about this is having kids
give to kids if you can get you.
Speaker 14 (17:00):
We're right here. Teaches children to give, not expecting anything
in return. A lot of things are based in the
United States on if you do this, such and such
will happen to you, and it teaches them the joy
of giving. You know, to help someone who can't possibly
give back to you.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
Now I know each box when you go in, you're like,
don't tape them down or dunct table. Like A really
good idea would be like a rubber band around them.
Speaker 13 (17:22):
Just put a rubber band around your box and hand
it over to our collection center location. We're going to
get all these boxes into Samaritans person will take a
look at them, make sure there's nothing inappropriate for children.
Or nothing that might spill or break or damage other boxes,
and then we'll package them up, we'll tape them, and
then we'll send them on.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
So what about making out boxes like if you know
there's some girls stuff in it to put for a girl.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
Or put on the outside of the box.
Speaker 13 (17:47):
The beauty. One of the beauties of this project is
that you get to pick the age and gender of
the child that will receive your boxes. You choose, and
that's one of the great ways to personalize this project.
I have a nephew who's seven years old, and we
take him down to them oart of the Dollar Store
and we find things that he likes to put inside
the shoe boxes. He likes to fill the box with
match box toys as many as he can fit inside.
(18:08):
But we try to encourage him to have a little
r as well.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Well, Grandma, what's your week gonna be? Like, what are
you gonna be doing?
Speaker 14 (18:14):
We'll be hectic, but I'm gonna love it. Yeah, it's
gonna be getting up every morning going to the processing center.
And one of the reasons I really love being there
is because of the volunteers.
Speaker 15 (18:23):
And these are centers that take all the boxes, open
them up, make sure things are correct, and seal them
up appropriately, put them on palletts. It's like it's the
most amazing operation you've ever seen.
Speaker 8 (18:31):
That's seene Man.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Once you see what.
Speaker 15 (18:33):
Goes on inside one of these big centers, you understand
why the collection has to take place so early in
order to be shipped over in time.
Speaker 14 (18:40):
Just imagine. My favorite place to be is the garbage dumps.
I love to be in the garbage dumps because that's
where they live. There's no greater place to tell them
about Heaven. You're setting in the midst of all this garbage,
and I want to describe it for you. There's rats
running everywhere, there's dogs that have the mange, and these
people get them maybe a piece of plastic, and they
lay it down and they claim that spot that's their bed.
(19:02):
The plastic or the cardboard goes over because it stays
off the glass, you know, keeps them off the glass.
And then to set there to put a child on
your lap in the midst of all that, and said,
let me tell you about a place called heaven. And
you tell those kids you read and do exactly what
it says on the back, and I'll see you in heaven.
They don't want even the toys anymore. And these kids
(19:22):
that never get toys, they want to find out how
they can get to this place called heaven. It's amazing.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Well that is neat.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
So this is the week and go to the Big
Show dot com. Click on the operation Christmas child Smares
pursa link right there and find a collection here you
or you can call if a telephone works. Fine eight
hundred three five three five nine four nine. Absolutely, thank
you guys. Keep us up to date on going Grandma Gump,
you go get them.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Boating, run for run. I wanted to make you show
on the right now.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Yeah, we talked about we have my middle boy in here, Michael,
talk about get him to name all his friends. He
got ickybab away Uniping ping pong.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
You know, I can't pronounce it. So we had little
birthday party for him. Now it looked like a un meeting.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
You just might end up with a black daughter in law.
I wonder about that one again. This year our theme
is the New World Order.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Y'all.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
Thanks for going.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
And we got to say hi to Henry Benfield. Yes
it's handy Bedfield listened, Yeah, number nine, him and the
Reverend Hawkins just got back. It took a little detour.
You know what you need. You need next town. That boy,
just stop by the studio. We got some time telling
you that you can put all.
Speaker 15 (20:38):
Your friends on one little beef and you could tell
them all high at one time, and you know they'd
hear it.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
They don't like me that much. I'd rather hear from us.
All right, they'll go to the fat boy. All right. Then,
well let's do this game.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Callers nine and ten, one, eight hundred Big Show play
against each other.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
All right, We ready to do it. We played tried
our phone.
Speaker 15 (20:57):
Unless you want to say hi to somebody.
Speaker 4 (21:00):
If anybody wants to be my friend, please call a
Big Show again.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Good reason for next time. Good morning, a big show.
(21:31):
It's on the radio. All right, it's.
Speaker 16 (21:33):
Time try it our phone, Try it or phone. That's
our contest. Here's our song. It won't take very long
to play.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Try it or fall.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
We got Betty from Rolling Oak, Virginia calling him a nine.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Good morning, Betty, How are you fine? How you doing?
John boy? You were goods waity welcome.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Let's say you're gonna be playing against Amy from Jacksboro, Tennessee.
Good morning, Amy, Good morning, Hey Betty, Amy Amy, Betty.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Bud Yeah, what's up with that?
Speaker 2 (22:07):
We're gonna go start with Betty. I'll read a statement,
bet of course you say true or false. Randy will
call at your names before each question so we can
keep it straight. Jackie keeping score the one against the
most correct n sixty seconds will win.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
All right, Right, you ready to go? Ready with Betty?
All right, Betty? Crap back is a term of swimsuit design.
True Amy, Right, Sorry, Amy?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Never a winger appeared in Wonder Woman. Wrong, Betty, They're
righteous brothers were brothers? Row Amy, Mazda Car Company once
made cork products. Right, Betty, A Perrywinkle is a Devonshire cake. Right,
(22:56):
Amy Romanov is a Russian department store. Raw, Betty gully
Aoh first use a telescope in sixteen oh nine. True, right, Amy,
kangaroo tail is used other than Afrodizi Acto. Right, Betty,
Harpoon is the fourth largest constellation. Right Amy, red spride
(23:21):
is a new US Navy aeroplane.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Right, Betty, Roddy, what do we got here? Jackie? Walcome
up four?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Right for Betty from rowan Oake Virginia Amy from Jacksonboro, Tennessee.
Three Right, Betty wind.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Belly, were you keeping score again?
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (23:46):
And you had a tie?
Speaker 4 (23:47):
I had no, I had the exact same thing.
Speaker 6 (23:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Good, we'll quit. And since when do you answer the
name belly Belly?
Speaker 4 (23:54):
I answered to a lot of different things.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Fat Boy was answering me over there.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Hey, Amy, nice tribe, Baby, you call back and try again.
Speaker 8 (24:01):
Okay, congratulations baby, Thank you Amy.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Ain't Amy sweet? Say now these girls they can get along.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
I thought it was gonna be a cats Betty, Congratulations, Baby,
you got the big old prize package.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
Hang on, Jackie, get your information all right, Thank you
so much, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio
right here, and let's go right here. I'm talking about
John Boy, Billy, Randy, Jackie and racing Fat Boy in
the studio with us. Hey on, we gotta we gotta
break right here in class a bit and going on
over the open line.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Time it'll we go wrong. Good morning, it's been show
(25:03):
on your radio for you Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Ah, boys and girls together around his time.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Give's action.
Speaker 4 (25:15):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Today's episode Blue grit As Our story.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Opens Woodrow Boudreau is just stopped by the home of
his best friend, Justin LeBlanc to give him a ride
to work morning.
Speaker 9 (25:30):
Boudreaux, how monyju Stan, who gave you that black eye?
Speaker 1 (25:35):
Marie? Marie, you mean your ex wife?
Speaker 5 (25:38):
We me and her went out to dinner last night
to talk about getting back together.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
From that not on your head. Don't look like it
went too good.
Speaker 5 (25:45):
But last night went fine. She even come back to
the house and slept over. But this morning it all
come upot roight quick, what happened? Technical problem?
Speaker 1 (25:54):
Do what now? I got up about.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
Seven o'clock, walked in the living room Den Marie sitting
down a couch playing on the TV. Is this most
vile triple X naked movie you have ever seen in
your life?
Speaker 2 (26:06):
This?
Speaker 5 (26:06):
He is what you call some of that the hard
pot chornagra. And I say, woman, what the sam hell
going on here? She give me the skunky and say
you tell me, mister hotpants. I just cut the TV
on and there it was. It's a naked western called
Blue Grit. That fat sheriff supposed to be helping that
little girl find a boy to kill her daddy.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
You ask me, he looking at the wrong place. Where
did this movie come from?
Speaker 2 (26:33):
That?
Speaker 1 (26:33):
What Marie want to know?
Speaker 5 (26:34):
I said, donand I don't buy no naked channels. Must
be some kind of screw up at the cable company.
So I call him on the phone. Cable man say, yeah,
we got a new boy out the controls. He done
pushed the wrong switch and unscramble one of them naked channels.
We're working on it right now. Don't seem like Marie
ought to be mad? I for you something like, hey,
tell me about it. So I splayed the situation. She
calmed down and say I show him. Glad you don't
(26:56):
waste your money on all that perverted mess. Let's find
something else to look at. She go flip and channels
and run across these two good old boys in a
bast boat. She said, there you go a fishing show.
That's much more better. Let's watch this. We might learn something,
saw me and her said dad. About two or three
minute finally I pick up the remote and flip back
over the blue grit or the naked channel. When we say, hey,
(27:17):
how come you did that? I said, well, dolland from
what I remember, you already know how to fish.
Speaker 11 (27:23):
And the fight was.
Speaker 4 (27:24):
All we hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy Playhouse.
Speaker 5 (27:35):
She beat me so long I missed the second movie,
The Green Horny.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Chill.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
Then again next time we'll hear naked Tom Cheney from
Blue Grint say, hey, big man.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Let me hold a dollar. Good morning, a big show
(28:14):
us on the radio. John Bond, Billy Randy, all right, hey,
let me.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Tell you all little story here. There's from Tom Grizzard
that had done in Dublin. Georgia said, we might think
this was funny.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Is it a sad story accident?
Speaker 15 (28:28):
I'm trying to pick music up.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
No, No, it's a story from his youth. We'll just
just figured out. I started hot, sweaty, and covered with
tobacco tar. We had music.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
We had cropped all day long. My cousin and I
had jumped into his sixty two beetle and run to
Boone Saloon to do what most seventeen year old tobacco
croppers do in Coffee County after a twelve hour day.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
In the field.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
We were being on getting some beer, well, knowing Homer's
reputation in the In fact, we were kN and knew
a lot more about Homer than he would care for
us too, getting beer was.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Not that much of a problem.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
This was back in nineteen seventy three. We had left
the social club and taken Highway four forty one toward
Pridgin when my cousin decided the road worthiness of his
VW should be challenged. At that time, we decided to
take one seventeen dirt at that time back home. We
had been on the dirt for about five minutes when
we spotted a buzzard up ahead in the middle of
(29:26):
the road. I only had a minute when I knew
what my cousin had already decided. Going back for a second,
I'd like to remind and enlighten you on our vehicle
of choice, a nineteen sixty two VW, beetle good tires,
eight ball shifter, handled black semi leatherette seats, bent steering
will and rust all the way around each window, one
lonely headlight, one running board, bottomless dash, and a wiper.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
That could be shared.
Speaker 8 (29:49):
Do he eat people?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
When I realized that the buzzard was a target for
the VW, it was too late to do anything except
go along with it. My cousin shifted hard into third
gear and that little motor went to screaming as we
approached what we estimated to be thirty miles per hour.
Speedometer didn't work. By the time he went to fourth
we had made all preparations for impact. We had covered
(30:12):
every possible strategy that might occur, all of them except one.
Within striking distance. The great bird turned, looked us straight
in the face, and flapped his huge wings once, and
we were on him. Cublam boy or bird did not
expect what happened next. With one motion of his wings,
he had managed to place his body in line with
(30:33):
our windshield.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
We hit hard.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
As I looked out, I saw the windshield fold up
around the bird and fly past us into the rear
of the car through a hail of broken glass and
extremely rusty VW parts.
Speaker 11 (30:46):
Wooo.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
My cousin brought the heap to a stop on the
side of the dirt road. After about two seconds of
solid screaming. We were asking each other. We were asking
each other if we were okay, whoa We were lucky
not to get hurt, but hey, that poor unfortunate, innocent bird,
(31:10):
we thought. As we heard a noise in the back
seat that sounded like the rolling away of a mighty stone.
In slow motion. When we turned around with our mouths
open and eyes wide, I could feel those things tightened
that you always hear older folks talk about. We were
now about eight inches away from the biggest, ugliest, and
apparently maddest bird I had ever seen. I tried to scream,
(31:37):
but all that came out was ip ip. Now we
realize this bird ain't hurt real bad, and it's probably
tougher than any animal we have ever treed. It was
at this moment in time decisions had to be made quickly.
As it became apparent what our decision was, the great
(31:57):
bird leaned forward into the front as if he were
on the attack, and spewed the most horrid, smelling and
feeling white liquid from his mouth that I had ever witnessed.
We were covered before we could get the doors open.
Suddenly our screams were audible. Out of the car and
(32:21):
now at a dead, barefooted run, we made way for
a large sycamore tree on the side of the road.
Dry heaves, dry heaves, and all yes. At this time
the situation is looking grim. Has bound happenson or later
we were covered in something that seems to be on
the verge of removing upper levels of skin with no
(32:42):
water or anything to get it off. Results. Two teenagers
on the ground rolling like dogs in the dirt after
a bath didn't help. Now we're covered with dirt filled
buzzard vomit. Now a young man whippers, why didn't you
stop me? You you're crazy. You knew when you shifted
(33:02):
there was no going back.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Well.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
After a little more arguing and a scuffle to the
side who was getting the bird out, the buzzard stumbled
from the v W boy who were shocked as they
slowly made steps toward us. Next situation, panic stricken teenage
boys as we frantically looked for an escape. The bird
turned and slowly flew off with no apparent injury. The
(33:31):
trip home was slow and quiet, with an occasional gag
or he from the odor in the car. We bathed
in the barn after a good whipping from my uncle,
not because of the beer of the bird, but for
going to Boom saloon.
Speaker 1 (33:51):
Thank you, Tom. Her story from.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
Your youth Mom says they're the black sheep of the family.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Wow, I'm all with a bith box. Is here all
your favorites?
Speaker 7 (34:04):
Four Decades of the Big Show ninety nine since each
fifteen for nine ninety nine.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Buy them onnth to play them anywhere.
Speaker 7 (34:08):
You can shop the Big Box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Order Big Show Stuff I Phone. The number is eight
hundred and four to seven one.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
Stuff Online services by mnik dot Com.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
Speaker 2 (34:20):
You hear it now The John Boyebilly Late Rises podcast
up next, Mabe.
Speaker 1 (34:25):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy. Subscribe to us.
Will the Free I heart ready to go out say
tomorrow we love you.
Speaker 10 (34:32):
We made it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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