December 9, 2024 • 41 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ve got the super cut version of “A Christmas Carl” - starring Carl Childers from the nervous hospital - all four parts in a single podcast!.. - The Rabbi went to see “Red One” - we’ll get his review.. - Rev. Billy Ray wages war on Christmas music.. - .. - and by request, we’ll dust off Robert D. Raiford’s tabloid story about Arthur Turdmoore…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Big Shows on the radio feature drag from.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
The make Show Big Box.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
How about a eight turner Christmas song with you John
More Middle Christmas album, Patrick the White Boy in turn
White Boy Patrick. He works at the Big Box at
the Makesure dot Com. Right down, let's play beat the
blows of hot Tailers. Sidle up in here, baby, Let's
(00:50):
make our contention.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Dawn from La comp Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Good morning, Dawn, Good morning.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
I have we're doing?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Rather have no on breaking here on the Big Show
said don't know we're gonna do.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We'll ask Tayer some questions.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
You agree or disagree with two bells for two buzzers
and you wouldn't be gonna prize bag?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I do it?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Okay, okay, all right, well let's do it then? Where Taylor?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Where is this quotation?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
From here?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It is not good that man should be alone?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
Oh I believe I read that on a bumpersticker on
Jackie's car.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
All right, jack.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
That's from the playing Robo and Juliet.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
That's from the play Romeo and Juliet. Don Do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I disagree, I disagree?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Was the thing to do? Do you know where it's
from Don. Yes in the Bible. Yes, Randy hadn't got
out of Genesis yet for him, long questions. All right there,
good work, hares a bail for down all ride Soda.
(02:20):
According to the World Population Review, where in this country
will you find the greatest number of turkeys in this country?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
The House of Representatives? No, not in what country?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Where it is.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
Arkansas?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Arkansas is where you'll find the most turkeys there.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Don Do you agree or disagree? Disagree? And that was
the thing to do. Yes, millisoda, I do not like mondays.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
By the way, Minnesota isn't followed by North Carolina. My
buddy Travis Starn good work buddy, and Rother blunch of them.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
They're closing the gap, one of the biggest. Yes. And
then Arkansas is number three, by the way.
Speaker 7 (03:14):
I knew I heard it somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well, No, good work, Don you got the prize back
head of your pad down, Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Appreciate you listening. Glad you won.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
All right, Thank you all y'all.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Merry Christmas, Christmas babe, All right down to Brunette.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You still got that right? Yeah? All right, there we go.
We're jumping out, catching you up on your news.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
We got.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We still got two episodes of a Christmas Carl to
Go Special Calling and a Reverend Billy Ray coming up next.
(04:22):
Good morning, it's to make Shaw on the radio.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
All right, going in on to Running Road.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Hello, Ol, Good morning ther John Boy and Billy, and
good morning to all our beloved Freem's Other and radio land.
This there's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sida
Joshua Independent Full Gospel Penny Coastal Assembly just off State
Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. Well, friends, it's
(04:48):
professional Christmas is back again this year. I believe it
kicked off about ten minutes for Walmart got done clearing
out all the Halloween can This is a time here
a lot of you church people start complaining about how
Christmas is getting too commercial and we're losing the true
meaning of the season. They get all mad at the
(05:10):
Starbucks because their holiday cup ain't got enough Jesus on it.
Let me get this straight. They're charging you eight dollars
for a cup of coffee and you're mad about the cup.
Oh well, preacher, it ain't right. This here's a full
blown war on Christmas we got going here. Well, may
(05:31):
I just say It's about time we had one, because
when the shooting starts, the first target we are to
blow up is all these recording studios that make all
this modernistic so called Christmas music. You know, it used
to be you'd get about two Christmas records a year.
Johnny Mathis had come out with one, and Perry Cuomo
(05:54):
would scrub one off every once, while Elvin and the
Chipmunks have put one out that was great. It's just
plenty enough all. But nowadays every wooly booger with a
record contract can't wait to get in there and cut
them a Christmas album. Do we need that? No, friends,
we don't. I don't give a rip about hearing Kanye
(06:15):
western Snoop Doggie Pooh turned up on the housetop into
some eight minute remix about a dry by shooting over
a dope deal gone bad. If I want to hear
what trailer's well, singing jingle bells sounds like I'll just
chuck a straight hat in the wood chipper and the
next time Lowe's makes me listen to all unsaved, hell
(06:37):
bound Stevie Nicks sing Silent Night, I'm taking my business
over to the home depots. None of these modern secular
singer shows a lick of interest in the Lord Jesus
the rest of the year all but come November they
all want to be the next being. Cosy Barbis Streisman
(06:58):
got about at nine eight or nine Christmas album's out
and she's Jewish. What does that tell you about how
christ will All this modernistic Christmas music is, Oh, preacher,
don't be like ed folks, is just trying to get
into the spirit of the season. Oh yeah, Is that
the spirit that makes all the hill Billies knuckle one
(07:19):
another in the head over the last fat screen TV
on Black Friday? If it is, I'd say we got
way under too much of that already. Now, I know
I sound like a grumpa's here and a lot of
folks can't believe a preacher would come down on Christmas
in any way. But if you really believe in the
(07:40):
reason for the season, it ain't supposed to be something
you drag out of the attic once a year and
set it in the middle of the coffee table for
two or three weeks. No, friends, the spirit of Christmas
is supposed to be about sharing love and mercy and
forgiveness from the Lord. The way he shared it with us,
(08:01):
and that's something you gotta do brand new every single day.
Think on that next time you got terror fixing a
fight some drunk big girl over the last pair of
two excel yoga pants at the wall. You want to
know what Christicle is really all about? Jarnnie Brown, Well,
I'd like to invite who'sover will to come on out
(08:21):
and get the true spirit of the season. This Sunday
morning at eleven o'clock am. This week's special Yule Tithe
message is Grandma got run over by the Devil's reindeer,
but Jesus reached out and pulled her back at the
last minute. Our mind's made up, but our doors wide open.
Here at the Sword of Joshua, Independent full of gospel,
(08:43):
pennycostial assembly just off Steat Road twenty three on your road.
This is a Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding yous it's
time to turn so you don't burn John Boy Billy,
y'all keep them straight up fire, Good.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Morning, Big shows on the radio. Episode three of a
Christmas Carl coming up about twenty minutes right now.
Speaker 8 (09:35):
And now. Deep thoughts with Zach the Weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Janey.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
What up beauty. Dude, what's crack a lacking? Y'all cool?
I'm cool, I'm doing good.
Speaker 10 (09:54):
Like I've just been sitting around thinking about stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I'll go, oh, you want to hear something.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Sweet?
Speaker 11 (10:09):
What did its teeth taste like? And does everyone's teeth
taste differently? And thinking, go ahead, I'll wait for you
to taste Yours is the s or is the c silent?
And the words scent?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Hey?
Speaker 11 (10:34):
Why is it a penny for your thoughts? But you
have to put your two cents in. I mean somebody,
somebody's making a penny.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
You do mad?
Speaker 11 (10:48):
What if COVID is the point one percent of germs
that lysol can kill? On the other hand, you have
different things af there are Thanksgiving meal. I asked Zach
(11:09):
to clear off the dinner table. He had to get
a running start, but he made it. I was like,
I'm in breath, You're my man. I bought a fake
koy fish for my koy pond. It's my decoy. I
(11:33):
hate it when I meant to buy seedless grapes and
instead I accidentally grabbed oreos. Speaking of grapes, I've been
making wine at home, but I make it out of Raisin,
so it'll be aged automatically.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
Think about this one. Okay, technically the brain named itself, right,
my right, How did you come up with the name?
Brain named you?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
You're gone. We're not going to.
Speaker 11 (12:25):
Get everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time.
Speaker 10 (12:33):
Okay, I can.
Speaker 11 (12:35):
Tell that you're still a little hungover from Thanksgiving.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
One more idea and then like, I gotta go because
you know, I had.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Stuff to do.
Speaker 11 (12:49):
I've been getting into astronomy, so I ah sacked install
a skylight. The people who live above us are so
tipped off, look at the top.
Speaker 10 (13:04):
That's it for now.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
Yeah, I'll keep rocking and I'll keep Thank you later, dude.
Speaker 8 (13:10):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hargraves potted mute PROCs.
Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Good morning, a lot more big show coming.
Speaker 12 (13:24):
Up, John Boy, big big show bills, picky on, Matthew, Oh, Marcel,
you picked an awful time to call. Well, listen to
the radio. We're right in the middle of a new
detrol you boob, No, no, not, you're rating fat boy.
Pull up a couple of chairs and put down nothing.
I gotta go make coffee for the boys. So they
(13:44):
can go on making that audio magic known as did
John Boy Bee big show, carry on Drake peepa.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Heo morning.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's a big show on the radio for your Monday
dceimmer to nine brand new John Boy wonderful thing for
you to fool under a few number one and twenty
seven if you're keeping Cole at home. Authentic challenge going
from the White House Police hand me carrying caves.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Well, let's be here.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
December ninth, I got the celebrity birthday Liz Simon Helberg
is forty four.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Albert Albert, remember from Big Bang Theory?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
So which one was he?
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Howard?
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Howard one that was always like hitting on all the ladies.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He was one to live with his mama, right wow, okay?
And then he did he marry the big breasted blonde girl.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
The text.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Does she don't like that in real life?
Speaker 11 (15:16):
No?
Speaker 7 (15:16):
No, she's the judge on Night Court. Oh that's right,
it'll come out a little bit, you'll hear a little bit.
Speaker 13 (15:23):
But so like Howard is forty four, her real voice
is more like this, Yeah, that's just really creepy, kind
of like Michael Jackson when whenever he's talking about I'm
not the bulls.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
He's like, get off my lawn, not puck your call
his it's a neighborhood. Ain't no residential district, all right.
Donnie Osmond is sixty seven, Well love Donnie Vegas. John
Malkovich is seventy one.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
That was a weird movie.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You ever said that movie? Being John Malcolm? You know
some portable I mean portal, Yes, they're a portal, that's correct. Variance.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Bob Dylan's son Jacob is fifty five. Yeah, right, Dylan
some movie about dealing out.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, I saw I saw a bit of a trailer
that looked fairly interesting.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
We need the tatlertainment news me on that there, ty
Tate find out about that Dylan. That Bob Dylan movie.
I don't know if it's TV.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Dude, that what we need a bicycle? I saw that part, right, Michael.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Actor Michael Dorn star Trek the next Generation, Lieutenant.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Wharf Yek the turtle Head.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yes, right, yeah, he's seventy two bow Bridges eighty three
bow Bridges, Lloyd Bridge's son.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
You know. Okay, that's about it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I know some old GoldenEye Judy Ditch that played
m in the James Bond film since GoldenEye nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
I believe she's a dame too.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Dame right, she's ninety and she's hot. That's one of
the Bond girls.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Well, mainly, Happy birthday to you, Good morning, got the
Big Show on the radio, Hang on getting in episode
three and the second first tell you what you can
win on wordy word one of those bird Tea County
Peanuts prize packs. A Southern tradition for over one hundred years.
We want you to go nuts this Christmas. What a
selection they got for you to choose from. Short have
(17:24):
something everybody on your gift list, it'll blow them away.
Just enter code JBB at checkout. You get twenty five
percent off, plus you get free shipping when you shop online.
Click that banner at the Big Show dot com. You
listen for your company. You got some clients. This is
a perfect way to do that. Man, there's some awesome stuff.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
It's not just peanuts. They got cashews, pecans, peanut butter.
They got a bunch of stuff that's.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
All candybar Man, last week, cheese.
Speaker 7 (17:48):
Straws, cheese straws, oh Man.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Awesome, all right.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Click on Birdta County Peanut banner at the Big Show
dot Com.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Right now, let's do this salutation seasonal swells.
Speaker 14 (18:01):
Burt Fern here with part three of your Big Show
Morning Mini Movie Holiday Spectacular, A Christmas Carl Starry, Carl Childers,
a Scrooge, and Granny Klump as the Ghost of Christmas Present,
brought to you by Colonel Hanson's all Purpose turn polished,
turned that brown upside down with Colonel Hanson's Now back
(18:21):
to our story. The ghost of Christmas Past has just
zapped scrooged into another part of London in hopes of
changing his wicked ways before it's too late.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
You recognize that plate, baby.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Kinley looks like a public toilet. Aw this here is
the home of Bob Cratching. Why is he living down
here in the slum? Some folks call it a ghetto.
I call it a slum.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
This is all he can afford on what you pay you,
she foll Bash, And he makes.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Pretty good wage, enough to feed his family crumpets and
mustard a couple of times a week.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Oh, here come Bob Cratching. Now we had little Seawan
tiny team riding on his shoulder.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
We better ski that alone out of here. Don't worry
a tall doc and cheek. They can't see it, so
they's poor and need glasses.
Speaker 14 (19:20):
Oh, they got all kinds of problems. Baby, Just listen, Martha,
Well home to wife. I'm so dad gum hungry. I
could eat a chocolate covered booger. Hey, what's for dinner, momsie?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (19:35):
Who has time to cook? I've been trying to clean
the dump all day? How about some nice hot pockets?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
M krack?
Speaker 14 (19:44):
And what are you doing here? Where's miss Barbara? She's
supposed to be playing my wife? Oh she's getting her
roots done, so as usual, I'm filling in. Oh, ain't
being gippy enough?
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Now?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I got two daddies, Well, more like a daddy than
a half son of them.
Speaker 14 (20:00):
Let's just continue, shall we. Tim, you go clean up
for dinner, and hurry up, you little scamp. Your hot
pockets will get cold? Yes, father, yes, sir?
Speaker 15 (20:11):
Ugh.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Mother gives me the creep just saying it.
Speaker 14 (20:16):
So how is our little angel Bob? He tries to
be brave, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.
Oh no, you mean yes, if tiny Tim doesn't get
the medical help he needs soon, I fear.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
No, don't say it, not our little Tim noa, Oh.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
For the love, What a cruel world.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
My heart will never recover. Why whahy.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
And thing?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Now? What'll it be? Pepperoni or ham and cheese?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
See what I mean? Yes, some ghost lady them crashing
is a right pitiful bunch, all right. Oh Bob couldn't
even afford to marry him a woman. You had to
get hitched up to that funny fella. Not funny huhuh clear, I.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Don't forget about that homely little younger.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I heard that.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Ghost lady. This tiny feller gonna be okay. I see
an eft this.
Speaker 16 (21:31):
Dual bottle fire plate with a small crutch carefully preserved.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I reckon, that's good news.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Well, he must have got all better, and he's all
fooling around summers with them other foreign kids. I like
a happy ending.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh you jackass, tiny tim taking a dirt nap because
you wouldn't pony up to Jack to get him. Well,
what do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I'm thinking I sure would like one of them, hot pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Try about now, you ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
Are you screwed your pool?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I heard it said that away, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
You got one last chance to turn things around.
Speaker 16 (22:12):
If Ghost number three don't scare the cheap body and
you can't be scanned, ah, you can turn.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Loose on my robe. Now back in bed. I gotta
stop eating that spicy mustard. Well, sir, you must be
(22:48):
that scary ghost that is told about. I can't tell
if and you're nodding are about to tip over? You
got a pretty big head under that robe, and you
got chuk ears in an underbite. Now get your hand
in out of bed. Let's get this over with. I
got a Christmas party to get back to. Where are
we going?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Where the hell do you think we're going? Disney World?
Mister ghost? What can I give me some of them
mouse ears? Ooh, this is gonna be a long night.
Speaker 14 (23:22):
Holy holly berries. This is Scrooge's last chance. Will he
redeem himself or just keep being a great big butt?
Speaker 15 (23:29):
Ho ho?
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Hold?
Speaker 6 (23:30):
What to do?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
What to do?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
To find out?
Speaker 14 (23:33):
Tune in next time to hear Carl Childers as Scrooge,
Spanky as the Ghost of Christmas Future, and Tater as
Bubbles Nick Jog's the topless toymaker in a Christmas Carl
brought to you by Colonel Hanson's all purpose stird polish
turn that brown upside down with Colonel Hanson's This is
Burt Fern saying, see you next time.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
All right, Episode four, the File episode before we get
out of here, there's morning. First, let's play some wordy
word one eight hundred, make show you told free line.
We'll get a couple of contestants and play next. Goode
(24:32):
Monday morning, A pretty good day, and y'all being here
with us and.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Uh missing us us.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You don't have to h John Moonbelly lead Driveser's podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Who I'm trying to spit out here? Are the people
who can't hear us? Can't hear you?
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
So yeah, yeah that I should have thought this through.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And you know somebody that can't hear there, you go
call him tell me the podcast at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
All right, at everybody's head about the bear.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Don't where they were, don't where they were, and let's
meet their contestants.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
We got Ricky from Gilmour, Texas.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Good morning, Ricky, good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Then we got Steve from Danville, Virginia, Good morning, Steve.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I don't know who Steve is my name is Johnny.
Oh well, let's see what Jackie's got going here. I
ain't gonna bother. She's on the phone again. She got
a lot on her. So that's Johnny. Johnny. Are you
from Danville, Virginia?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
All right?
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Day?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Good word baby?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
That's the points, honey, understanding mixing up Ronnie and Johnny?
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Damn?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Well that's Johnny.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Couldn't news as you and Tayter on on side. Hey,
we'll be looking uh john Bote Ricky on our side?
Speaker 3 (25:59):
All right, boys, is it.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Johnny?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
You relax here, let's see if uh, let me see Jackie.
Where we got right here?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Baby?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
All right, let's pull ourselves together here. We gotta concentrate,
all right, Ricky, are you readybody? All right?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Starting to clock now?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You have this in your pen?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You're right with?
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Uh huh a super blank. They're real good looking girls.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
She's a what.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
She wears clothes? So we look look at her? A
super what model?
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Model?
Speaker 15 (26:41):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
All right, this is what countertops are made up. And
you play them when you're a kid in the dirt
with uh, with these little round balls.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Let's play a game marble?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Yeah, uh huh wash and blank your car wash and drive.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah, yeah, you should dry it before you wat.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
All right, no wax out. When we get a three
on the board. All right, let's see what Tater and
Johnny can do. You ready, Johnny.
Speaker 15 (27:15):
And go.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
I want to get out of the sun and get
into somewhat.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Where.
Speaker 7 (27:21):
Well, okay, like a tree, a tree provides it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 15 (27:26):
You blank your hair, You don't comb it, you blank it.
You blank your teeth. Yes, you measure with this in school?
You had a twelve inch what?
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (27:37):
Are you colored with these in school? A? Huh hey,
and you make one of these? He's my best blank,
my best blank.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
There's a buzzard. Don't say it, Johnny, good words. You
put a four on the board to take the lead
by one. All right, here's four to three. Here's where
we get it going.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah, alright, on the back and everything.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Alright, Reggy, you ready, buddy, picking up on that last one. Go,
let's hang out. I'll want you.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
All right.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
You do this with kids. You become a blank parent
when you and yeah, uh huh, all right. If you
get engaged, she is your.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
What do you call her? Basically?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
All right. If somebody dies and leaves you money. That
is your what your family? Yes, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
The blank system is what we're in the sun, the
whole deal, the word.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yes, why the board here, Ricky.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Put a five on that. Three will take an aid
after two rounds. And now, Johnny and Tator, if y'all
put a four on the board, you will force over time.
Five will win.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Okay, Johnny, are you ready?
Speaker 11 (29:05):
I hope?
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So all right?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Brand new word go all right.
Speaker 15 (29:10):
In a divorce you have child blank custom uh huh.
And Halloween you wear one of these no, no, the
whole thing. Yes, when you're cooking or barbecuing, you may
put this over your clothes.
Speaker 10 (29:24):
It's a what.
Speaker 6 (29:26):
Uh huh.
Speaker 7 (29:27):
At a Greek party, you may wear.
Speaker 15 (29:29):
One of these blank blank you say it, and it's
a It's like a white sheet over your body, like
a dress.
Speaker 7 (29:34):
It's called a what Greeks where Greeks were?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Oh, Johnny, if you would have got toga, you would
have tied.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
But yeah, the old animal house toga party. That's well, Johnny.
We appreciate you playing bunny and you can try again
any time. Heck, probably tomorrow, Jackie won't remember me name. Anyway,
We appreciate you, Johnny. Thank you so much, my boy, Ricky.
(30:12):
Look at you down there in Gilmer, Texas getting the
big old bird tea county peeing us.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
We're gonna send them down to you, buddy.
Speaker 10 (30:18):
Y'all run by.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
That sounds great.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Bit
request time Norman Langeless from Wilmington, North Carolina. Oh, Norman says,
I like the one with Ravern talking about an article.
George Turtley swimming New York. Sewer says that is a
good Norman.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I think is Arthur.
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Found now?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Alright, so hang on, Norman. We think we got you
coming up next.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
As on the radio, their request is a Rayford Rain
Norman Lange, glyss Lane Gliss.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I got you, Norman, beautiful woman to North Carolina.
Speaker 17 (31:27):
Here's you require with some gems from the weird. I
got laughing at something in this story here that I'd
missed the guy's name. Oh boy, it floats sometimes, you know.
(31:54):
A week before last we told you about record holding
water treader Moon Huffstettler swimming fifty five miles on the
Catawba River to help commemorate my fifty five years in
broadcasting and practicing for his next big swim all the
way down the Mississippi River. Well, here's a man who
plans to swim the New York City sewer system. Dateline,
(32:16):
Weekly World News, New York City. A courageous garbage man
is demanding his right to swim the length of the
city's sewer system from one end to the other, just
to prove that the waste water festering under the city
streets is nowhere near as toxic as it's cracked up
to be. The man, Arthur Turdmore told me Weekly World
(32:37):
News office whining about pollution makes me sick. It's turd
Moore says. He says, I'm going to swim the sewer
to show the world and a man as healthy as
(33:00):
he makes up his mind to be.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Mister Turnmoise, He.
Speaker 17 (33:18):
Says he's learned that it may be easier to dog
paddle through the sere than negotiate big apple bureaucracy. They
got me loaded up with paperwork, running from one office
to another for permits, like I was some kind of
hamster in a maze. There would be Marathon's swimmer would
(33:40):
also like to obtain some financial sponsors, says it's been
difficult to attract attention from the press, who says that,
mister turdmoy, I'm being a Robert d Riyford swimming against
(34:07):
the stream on the John Boyn Villa showing.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Betty good morning. It's a big on the radio.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
All right, man, you miss any.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Of the Christmas Carl episodes, get them all to John
Boye Miller Lake Drowsers podcast.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
You read to wrap it up right here? What's up?
Winter Wonderlanders bird Fern.
Speaker 14 (34:51):
Here with the fourth and final episode of your big
show Morning Mini movie Holiday Spectacular. A Christmas Carl Storry,
Carl Children's at Scrooge and Spank. He is the Ghost
of Christmas Yet to Come, brought to you by Colonel
Hanson's all purpose turd polished turn that brown upside down
with Colonel Hanson's.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Now back to our stories.
Speaker 14 (35:13):
When we last left Scrooge, he just ventured into the
wee hours of the morning with his new tour guide,
the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Oh, this can't miss.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
You ain't much at this ghosting? Are you all that
noise and lights of flashing? We're still here in my bedroom?
What's wrong? Mister t ain't gotten the guys. You're not
too quick, are you there? Jetro? This is your bedroom
in the future. Who's all these folks milling around this
time of night by here looking for a handout. They're
here to pay their last respects to the late Ebenezer
(35:48):
screw How about that? Look at them folks just to
crying and carrying on and whatnot. Look to me, Look,
I'm gonna miss me a good bit. They're not crying
because you did. You're crying because they didn't get a
chance to kill you themselves. These are the people you
had cheated and screwed over when you were a light.
You're dope. Well, my people don't seem like much to me.
(36:11):
Look out that window, big spinder. How many blocks you reckon?
That line stretches quite a few? Who? Well, ain't there
noe out there? And it's even a little sad. Oh
you bet your life. Hold on to your night cap,
old cap, I'd recognize there's dump any words, This is
(36:40):
Bob Cratchit's place. What are we doing here? Who you
said you wanted to see? Someone said, so shut up
and listen.
Speaker 14 (36:49):
I saw mister Scrooge's nephew today. He told me how
heartily sorry he was for our loss. He is so thoughtful.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And what a sharp dress?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Are what we weary?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Miss Barbara still unavailable. I'm afraid so, but I think
it's going well, don't you.
Speaker 14 (37:07):
Could you just stick to the script please? I shall
miss coming home with tiny Tim on my shoulder. Oh,
my little child, my little child, you're really good.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Thank you, little Feller, Little Feller. Still wonder why everybody's
glad you did? It doesn't end there. You're going down
(37:47):
less hair must be. Some folk calls it hell. I'm
calling it eighties, and now you can call it home.
Make you so comfortable, Scrooge. You'll be here a while,
at least for an eternity. Don't leave me here, mister ghost.
(38:09):
I reckon. I can use one more chance. I can
change my ways. I won't call Christmas a humbug off
time being so cheap. I'll even help Cratchett to give
the kid. Just don't leave me here, what m I
(38:33):
don't care if it was just a dream, that's a
whole lot say for being nice to folks. I reckon,
and I'm gonna start with them. Cratchit.
Speaker 14 (38:42):
Scrooge was a new man. He greeted Christmas morning and
his fellow man with a smile.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 14 (38:51):
After spreading joy to the rest of London, he finally
reached Bob Cratchit's house.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Matha den. What do you make of all that screaming? Well,
I guess a lot of people got polyester for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Cratchit, mister Scrooge's that you? Oh he's on the cracks.
I'll get my mate. What are you doing here, cratch It.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I'm a new man. I've had three gods. Show me
how no count I been Christmas? Ain't a humbug. You
can have a day off and I'm giving you a raise.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Oh, just in time for the after holiday fails. I'll
get my perth.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Bible says a man had no order to go with
another man. But I don't reckon the Lord. It's send
a good fella like you to Hades. He's a he
is just filling in.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
How could a fella get any rest at all with
all this dead god racket?
Speaker 14 (39:48):
Scrooge, son of a hold it, Papa, I'll get the shovel.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
No, no, no, timn no, this is the new mister Scrooge.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Merry Christmas, Little Feller we're gonna get you all ba
me and you we're gonna be friend.
Speaker 14 (40:05):
But my dad, you loopie old fart Scrooge was better
than his word, and from that Christmas on he was
loved by all, and to tiny Tim who did not die,
he became like a second father.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Gonna put marm Arond, you low feller. You are freaking
me out?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Man?
Speaker 4 (40:21):
How come ye talk?
Speaker 1 (40:23):
A holiday? Happy ending.
Speaker 14 (40:24):
We hope you've enjoyed a Christmas carl brought to you
by Colonel Hanson's all purpose, turn polished, turn that brown
upside down with Colonel Hanson's on behalf of the John
Boy and Billy Big Show. We wish you all the
merriest Christmas, the happiest holiday and made the lesson learned
by Ebenezer Scrooge be with you all year long until
next time.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Friends, This is your old pal Bert Fern saying so long.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Dead.
Speaker 18 (40:51):
Boxes here all your favorites from four decades and Big
Show ninety nine says he's fifteenth for nine ninety nine
by him once play. Many were shopping blitbox online at
the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
What a Big Show stuff I follow?
Speaker 18 (41:01):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one
stuff online services by animin dot com.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
This is any big show today, Won't let that happen
causing up John Obill and Late Rosers. Podcast Man. Wherever
you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to us
with a free iHeartRadio app. Ai y Hey, rest your days,
you on tomorrow, Love you mane it
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Big Shows on the radio feature drag from.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
The make Show Big Box.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
How about a eight turner Christmas song with you John
More Middle Christmas album, Patrick the White Boy in turn
White Boy Patrick. He works at the Big Box at
the Makesure dot Com. Right down, let's play beat the
blows of hot Tailers. Sidle up in here, baby, Let's
(00:50):
make our contention.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Dawn from La comp Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (00:57):
Good morning, Dawn, Good morning.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
I have we're doing?
Speaker 1 (01:02):
Rather have no on breaking here on the Big Show
said don't know we're gonna do.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
We'll ask Tayer some questions.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
You agree or disagree with two bells for two buzzers
and you wouldn't be gonna prize bag?
Speaker 5 (01:16):
I do it?
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Okay, okay, all right, well let's do it then? Where Taylor?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Where is this quotation?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
From here?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
It is not good that man should be alone?
Speaker 6 (01:30):
Oh I believe I read that on a bumpersticker on
Jackie's car.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
All right, jack.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
That's from the playing Robo and Juliet.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
That's from the play Romeo and Juliet. Don Do you
agree or disagree?
Speaker 1 (01:54):
I disagree, I disagree?
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Was the thing to do? Do you know where it's
from Don. Yes in the Bible. Yes, Randy hadn't got
out of Genesis yet for him, long questions. All right there,
good work, hares a bail for down all ride Soda.
(02:20):
According to the World Population Review, where in this country
will you find the greatest number of turkeys in this country?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
The House of Representatives? No, not in what country?
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Where it is.
Speaker 7 (02:40):
Arkansas?
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Arkansas is where you'll find the most turkeys there.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Don Do you agree or disagree? Disagree? And that was
the thing to do. Yes, millisoda, I do not like mondays.
Speaker 2 (03:00):
By the way, Minnesota isn't followed by North Carolina. My
buddy Travis Starn good work buddy, and Rother blunch of them.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
They're closing the gap, one of the biggest. Yes. And
then Arkansas is number three, by the way.
Speaker 7 (03:14):
I knew I heard it somewhere.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Well, No, good work, Don you got the prize back
head of your pad down, Louisiana.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Appreciate you listening. Glad you won.
Speaker 5 (03:24):
All right, Thank you all y'all.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Merry Christmas, Christmas babe, All right down to Brunette.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
You still got that right? Yeah? All right, there we go.
We're jumping out, catching you up on your news.
Speaker 5 (03:41):
We got.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
We still got two episodes of a Christmas Carl to
Go Special Calling and a Reverend Billy Ray coming up next.
(04:22):
Good morning, it's to make Shaw on the radio.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
All right, going in on to Running Road.
Speaker 5 (04:28):
Hello, Ol, Good morning ther John Boy and Billy, and
good morning to all our beloved Freem's Other and radio land.
This there's a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sida
Joshua Independent Full Gospel Penny Coastal Assembly just off State
Road twenty three on the Frontage Road. Well, friends, it's
(04:48):
professional Christmas is back again this year. I believe it
kicked off about ten minutes for Walmart got done clearing
out all the Halloween can This is a time here
a lot of you church people start complaining about how
Christmas is getting too commercial and we're losing the true
meaning of the season. They get all mad at the
(05:10):
Starbucks because their holiday cup ain't got enough Jesus on it.
Let me get this straight. They're charging you eight dollars
for a cup of coffee and you're mad about the cup.
Oh well, preacher, it ain't right. This here's a full
blown war on Christmas we got going here. Well, may
(05:31):
I just say It's about time we had one, because
when the shooting starts, the first target we are to
blow up is all these recording studios that make all
this modernistic so called Christmas music. You know, it used
to be you'd get about two Christmas records a year.
Johnny Mathis had come out with one, and Perry Cuomo
(05:54):
would scrub one off every once, while Elvin and the
Chipmunks have put one out that was great. It's just
plenty enough all. But nowadays every wooly booger with a
record contract can't wait to get in there and cut
them a Christmas album. Do we need that? No, friends,
we don't. I don't give a rip about hearing Kanye
(06:15):
western Snoop Doggie Pooh turned up on the housetop into
some eight minute remix about a dry by shooting over
a dope deal gone bad. If I want to hear
what trailer's well, singing jingle bells sounds like I'll just
chuck a straight hat in the wood chipper and the
next time Lowe's makes me listen to all unsaved, hell
(06:37):
bound Stevie Nicks sing Silent Night, I'm taking my business
over to the home depots. None of these modern secular
singer shows a lick of interest in the Lord Jesus
the rest of the year all but come November they
all want to be the next being. Cosy Barbis Streisman
(06:58):
got about at nine eight or nine Christmas album's out
and she's Jewish. What does that tell you about how
christ will All this modernistic Christmas music is, Oh, preacher,
don't be like ed folks, is just trying to get
into the spirit of the season. Oh yeah, Is that
the spirit that makes all the hill Billies knuckle one
(07:19):
another in the head over the last fat screen TV
on Black Friday? If it is, I'd say we got
way under too much of that already. Now, I know
I sound like a grumpa's here and a lot of
folks can't believe a preacher would come down on Christmas
in any way. But if you really believe in the
(07:40):
reason for the season, it ain't supposed to be something
you drag out of the attic once a year and
set it in the middle of the coffee table for
two or three weeks. No, friends, the spirit of Christmas
is supposed to be about sharing love and mercy and
forgiveness from the Lord. The way he shared it with us,
(08:01):
and that's something you gotta do brand new every single day.
Think on that next time you got terror fixing a
fight some drunk big girl over the last pair of
two excel yoga pants at the wall. You want to
know what Christicle is really all about? Jarnnie Brown, Well,
I'd like to invite who'sover will to come on out
(08:21):
and get the true spirit of the season. This Sunday
morning at eleven o'clock am. This week's special Yule Tithe
message is Grandma got run over by the Devil's reindeer,
but Jesus reached out and pulled her back at the
last minute. Our mind's made up, but our doors wide open.
Here at the Sword of Joshua, Independent full of gospel,
(08:43):
pennycostial assembly just off Steat Road twenty three on your road.
This is a Reverend Billy Ray Collins reminding yous it's
time to turn so you don't burn John Boy Billy,
y'all keep them straight up fire, Good.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Morning, Big shows on the radio. Episode three of a
Christmas Carl coming up about twenty minutes right now.
Speaker 8 (09:35):
And now. Deep thoughts with Zach the Weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Janey.
Speaker 9 (09:43):
What up beauty. Dude, what's crack a lacking? Y'all cool?
I'm cool, I'm doing good.
Speaker 10 (09:54):
Like I've just been sitting around thinking about stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
I'll go, oh, you want to hear something.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Sweet?
Speaker 11 (10:09):
What did its teeth taste like? And does everyone's teeth
taste differently? And thinking, go ahead, I'll wait for you
to taste Yours is the s or is the c silent?
And the words scent?
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Hey?
Speaker 11 (10:34):
Why is it a penny for your thoughts? But you
have to put your two cents in. I mean somebody,
somebody's making a penny.
Speaker 5 (10:45):
You do mad?
Speaker 11 (10:48):
What if COVID is the point one percent of germs
that lysol can kill? On the other hand, you have
different things af there are Thanksgiving meal. I asked Zach
(11:09):
to clear off the dinner table. He had to get
a running start, but he made it. I was like,
I'm in breath, You're my man. I bought a fake
koy fish for my koy pond. It's my decoy. I
(11:33):
hate it when I meant to buy seedless grapes and
instead I accidentally grabbed oreos. Speaking of grapes, I've been
making wine at home, but I make it out of Raisin,
so it'll be aged automatically.
Speaker 10 (11:58):
Think about this one. Okay, technically the brain named itself, right,
my right, How did you come up with the name?
Brain named you?
Speaker 1 (12:21):
You're gone. We're not going to.
Speaker 11 (12:25):
Get everywhere is walking distance if you've got the time.
Speaker 10 (12:33):
Okay, I can.
Speaker 11 (12:35):
Tell that you're still a little hungover from Thanksgiving.
Speaker 10 (12:40):
One more idea and then like, I gotta go because
you know, I had.
Speaker 4 (12:47):
Stuff to do.
Speaker 11 (12:49):
I've been getting into astronomy, so I ah sacked install
a skylight. The people who live above us are so
tipped off, look at the top.
Speaker 10 (13:04):
That's it for now.
Speaker 11 (13:05):
Yeah, I'll keep rocking and I'll keep Thank you later, dude.
Speaker 8 (13:10):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hargraves potted mute PROCs.
Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Good morning, a lot more big show coming.
Speaker 12 (13:24):
Up, John Boy, big big show bills, picky on, Matthew, Oh, Marcel,
you picked an awful time to call. Well, listen to
the radio. We're right in the middle of a new
detrol you boob, No, no, not, you're rating fat boy.
Pull up a couple of chairs and put down nothing.
I gotta go make coffee for the boys. So they
(13:44):
can go on making that audio magic known as did
John Boy Bee big show, carry on Drake peepa.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Heo morning.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
That's a big show on the radio for your Monday
dceimmer to nine brand new John Boy wonderful thing for
you to fool under a few number one and twenty
seven if you're keeping Cole at home. Authentic challenge going
from the White House Police hand me carrying caves.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Well, let's be here.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
December ninth, I got the celebrity birthday Liz Simon Helberg
is forty four.
Speaker 7 (14:54):
Albert Albert, remember from Big Bang Theory?
Speaker 3 (14:58):
So which one was he?
Speaker 4 (14:59):
Howard?
Speaker 7 (15:00):
Howard one that was always like hitting on all the ladies.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
He was one to live with his mama, right wow, okay?
And then he did he marry the big breasted blonde girl.
Speaker 5 (15:11):
The text.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
Does she don't like that in real life?
Speaker 11 (15:16):
No?
Speaker 7 (15:16):
No, she's the judge on Night Court. Oh that's right,
it'll come out a little bit, you'll hear a little bit.
Speaker 13 (15:23):
But so like Howard is forty four, her real voice
is more like this, Yeah, that's just really creepy, kind
of like Michael Jackson when whenever he's talking about I'm
not the bulls.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
He's like, get off my lawn, not puck your call
his it's a neighborhood. Ain't no residential district, all right.
Donnie Osmond is sixty seven, Well love Donnie Vegas. John
Malkovich is seventy one.
Speaker 4 (15:52):
That was a weird movie.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
You ever said that movie? Being John Malcolm? You know
some portable I mean portal, Yes, they're a portal, that's correct. Variance.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Bob Dylan's son Jacob is fifty five. Yeah, right, Dylan
some movie about dealing out.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Oh, I saw I saw a bit of a trailer
that looked fairly interesting.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
We need the tatlertainment news me on that there, ty
Tate find out about that Dylan. That Bob Dylan movie.
I don't know if it's TV.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Dude, that what we need a bicycle? I saw that part, right, Michael.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Actor Michael Dorn star Trek the next Generation, Lieutenant.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Wharf Yek the turtle Head.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yes, right, yeah, he's seventy two bow Bridges eighty three
bow Bridges, Lloyd Bridge's son.
Speaker 4 (16:39):
You know. Okay, that's about it.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
And I know some old GoldenEye Judy Ditch that played
m in the James Bond film since GoldenEye nineteen ninety five.
Speaker 7 (16:51):
I believe she's a dame too.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Dame right, she's ninety and she's hot. That's one of
the Bond girls.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Well, mainly, Happy birthday to you, Good morning, got the
Big Show on the radio, Hang on getting in episode
three and the second first tell you what you can
win on wordy word one of those bird Tea County
Peanuts prize packs. A Southern tradition for over one hundred years.
We want you to go nuts this Christmas. What a
selection they got for you to choose from. Short have
(17:24):
something everybody on your gift list, it'll blow them away.
Just enter code JBB at checkout. You get twenty five
percent off, plus you get free shipping when you shop online.
Click that banner at the Big Show dot com. You
listen for your company. You got some clients. This is
a perfect way to do that. Man, there's some awesome stuff.
Speaker 6 (17:41):
It's not just peanuts. They got cashews, pecans, peanut butter.
They got a bunch of stuff that's.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
All candybar Man, last week, cheese.
Speaker 7 (17:48):
Straws, cheese straws, oh Man.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
Awesome, all right.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
Click on Birdta County Peanut banner at the Big Show
dot Com.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
Right now, let's do this salutation seasonal swells.
Speaker 14 (18:01):
Burt Fern here with part three of your Big Show
Morning Mini Movie Holiday Spectacular, A Christmas Carl Starry, Carl Childers,
a Scrooge, and Granny Klump as the Ghost of Christmas Present,
brought to you by Colonel Hanson's all Purpose turn polished,
turned that brown upside down with Colonel Hanson's Now back
(18:21):
to our story. The ghost of Christmas Past has just
zapped scrooged into another part of London in hopes of
changing his wicked ways before it's too late.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
You recognize that plate, baby.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
Kinley looks like a public toilet. Aw this here is
the home of Bob Cratching. Why is he living down
here in the slum? Some folks call it a ghetto.
I call it a slum.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
This is all he can afford on what you pay you,
she foll Bash, And he makes.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Pretty good wage, enough to feed his family crumpets and
mustard a couple of times a week.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Oh, here come Bob Cratching. Now we had little Seawan
tiny team riding on his shoulder.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
We better ski that alone out of here. Don't worry
a tall doc and cheek. They can't see it, so
they's poor and need glasses.
Speaker 14 (19:20):
Oh, they got all kinds of problems. Baby, Just listen, Martha,
Well home to wife. I'm so dad gum hungry. I
could eat a chocolate covered booger. Hey, what's for dinner, momsie?
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Oh?
Speaker 14 (19:35):
Who has time to cook? I've been trying to clean
the dump all day? How about some nice hot pockets?
Speaker 1 (19:43):
M krack?
Speaker 14 (19:44):
And what are you doing here? Where's miss Barbara? She's
supposed to be playing my wife? Oh she's getting her
roots done, so as usual, I'm filling in. Oh, ain't
being gippy enough?
Speaker 4 (19:55):
Now?
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I got two daddies, Well, more like a daddy than
a half son of them.
Speaker 14 (20:00):
Let's just continue, shall we. Tim, you go clean up
for dinner, and hurry up, you little scamp. Your hot
pockets will get cold? Yes, father, yes, sir?
Speaker 15 (20:11):
Ugh.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Mother gives me the creep just saying it.
Speaker 14 (20:16):
So how is our little angel Bob? He tries to
be brave, but I'm afraid it's only a matter of time.
Oh no, you mean yes, if tiny Tim doesn't get
the medical help he needs soon, I fear.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
No, don't say it, not our little Tim noa, Oh.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
For the love, What a cruel world.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
My heart will never recover. Why whahy.
Speaker 4 (20:54):
And thing?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Now? What'll it be? Pepperoni or ham and cheese?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
See what I mean? Yes, some ghost lady them crashing
is a right pitiful bunch, all right. Oh Bob couldn't
even afford to marry him a woman. You had to
get hitched up to that funny fella. Not funny huhuh clear, I.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Don't forget about that homely little younger.
Speaker 5 (21:22):
I heard that.
Speaker 4 (21:25):
Ghost lady. This tiny feller gonna be okay. I see
an eft this.
Speaker 16 (21:31):
Dual bottle fire plate with a small crutch carefully preserved.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
I reckon, that's good news.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
What do you mean?
Speaker 4 (21:39):
Well, he must have got all better, and he's all
fooling around summers with them other foreign kids. I like
a happy ending.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Oh you jackass, tiny tim taking a dirt nap because
you wouldn't pony up to Jack to get him. Well,
what do you think about that?
Speaker 4 (21:55):
I'm thinking I sure would like one of them, hot pocket.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Try about now, you ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
Are you screwed your pool?
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I heard it said that away, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
You got one last chance to turn things around.
Speaker 16 (22:12):
If Ghost number three don't scare the cheap body and
you can't be scanned, ah, you can turn.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Loose on my robe. Now back in bed. I gotta
stop eating that spicy mustard. Well, sir, you must be
(22:48):
that scary ghost that is told about. I can't tell
if and you're nodding are about to tip over? You
got a pretty big head under that robe, and you
got chuk ears in an underbite. Now get your hand
in out of bed. Let's get this over with. I
got a Christmas party to get back to. Where are
we going?
Speaker 1 (23:06):
I'm the Ghost of Christmas Future?
Speaker 4 (23:09):
Where the hell do you think we're going? Disney World?
Mister ghost? What can I give me some of them
mouse ears? Ooh, this is gonna be a long night.
Speaker 14 (23:22):
Holy holly berries. This is Scrooge's last chance. Will he
redeem himself or just keep being a great big butt?
Speaker 15 (23:29):
Ho ho?
Speaker 5 (23:29):
Hold?
Speaker 6 (23:30):
What to do?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
What to do?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
To find out?
Speaker 14 (23:33):
Tune in next time to hear Carl Childers as Scrooge,
Spanky as the Ghost of Christmas Future, and Tater as
Bubbles Nick Jog's the topless toymaker in a Christmas Carl
brought to you by Colonel Hanson's all purpose stird polish
turn that brown upside down with Colonel Hanson's This is
Burt Fern saying, see you next time.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
All right, Episode four, the File episode before we get
out of here, there's morning. First, let's play some wordy
word one eight hundred, make show you told free line.
We'll get a couple of contestants and play next. Goode
(24:32):
Monday morning, A pretty good day, and y'all being here
with us and.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Uh missing us us.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
You don't have to h John Moonbelly lead Driveser's podcast.
Speaker 1 (24:47):
Who I'm trying to spit out here? Are the people
who can't hear us? Can't hear you?
Speaker 5 (24:51):
Now?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
So yeah, yeah that I should have thought this through.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
And you know somebody that can't hear there, you go
call him tell me the podcast at the Big Show
dot com.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
All right, at everybody's head about the bear.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Don't where they were, don't where they were, and let's
meet their contestants.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
We got Ricky from Gilmour, Texas.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
Good morning, Ricky, good morning, good morning.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
Then we got Steve from Danville, Virginia, Good morning, Steve.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
I don't know who Steve is my name is Johnny.
Oh well, let's see what Jackie's got going here. I
ain't gonna bother. She's on the phone again. She got
a lot on her. So that's Johnny. Johnny. Are you
from Danville, Virginia?
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Correct?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
All right?
Speaker 5 (25:37):
Day?
Speaker 1 (25:38):
Good word baby?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
That's the points, honey, understanding mixing up Ronnie and Johnny?
Speaker 5 (25:48):
Damn?
Speaker 3 (25:49):
Well that's Johnny.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Couldn't news as you and Tayter on on side. Hey,
we'll be looking uh john Bote Ricky on our side?
Speaker 3 (25:59):
All right, boys, is it.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Johnny?
Speaker 2 (26:09):
You relax here, let's see if uh, let me see Jackie.
Where we got right here?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
Baby?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
All right, let's pull ourselves together here. We gotta concentrate,
all right, Ricky, are you readybody? All right?
Speaker 3 (26:22):
Starting to clock now?
Speaker 4 (26:24):
You have this in your pen?
Speaker 1 (26:25):
You're right with?
Speaker 5 (26:28):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Uh huh a super blank. They're real good looking girls.
Speaker 4 (26:32):
She's a what.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
She wears clothes? So we look look at her? A
super what model?
Speaker 5 (26:39):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
Model?
Speaker 15 (26:41):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
All right, this is what countertops are made up. And
you play them when you're a kid in the dirt
with uh, with these little round balls.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
Let's play a game marble?
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Yeah, uh huh wash and blank your car wash and drive.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
Yeah, yeah, you should dry it before you wat.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
All right, no wax out. When we get a three
on the board. All right, let's see what Tater and
Johnny can do. You ready, Johnny.
Speaker 15 (27:15):
And go.
Speaker 7 (27:16):
I want to get out of the sun and get
into somewhat.
Speaker 4 (27:21):
Where.
Speaker 7 (27:21):
Well, okay, like a tree, a tree provides it.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yes, thank you.
Speaker 15 (27:26):
You blank your hair, You don't comb it, you blank it.
You blank your teeth. Yes, you measure with this in school?
You had a twelve inch what?
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (27:37):
Are you colored with these in school? A? Huh hey,
and you make one of these? He's my best blank,
my best blank.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
There's a buzzard. Don't say it, Johnny, good words. You
put a four on the board to take the lead
by one. All right, here's four to three. Here's where
we get it going.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah, alright, on the back and everything.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Alright, Reggy, you ready, buddy, picking up on that last one. Go,
let's hang out. I'll want you.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Thank you.
Speaker 4 (28:19):
All right.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
You do this with kids. You become a blank parent
when you and yeah, uh huh, all right. If you
get engaged, she is your.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
What do you call her? Basically?
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah, uh huh?
Speaker 1 (28:34):
All right. If somebody dies and leaves you money. That
is your what your family? Yes, uh huh.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
The blank system is what we're in the sun, the
whole deal, the word.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yes, why the board here, Ricky.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
Put a five on that. Three will take an aid
after two rounds. And now, Johnny and Tator, if y'all
put a four on the board, you will force over time.
Five will win.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Okay, Johnny, are you ready?
Speaker 11 (29:05):
I hope?
Speaker 4 (29:05):
So all right?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Brand new word go all right.
Speaker 15 (29:10):
In a divorce you have child blank custom uh huh.
And Halloween you wear one of these no, no, the
whole thing. Yes, when you're cooking or barbecuing, you may
put this over your clothes.
Speaker 10 (29:24):
It's a what.
Speaker 6 (29:26):
Uh huh.
Speaker 7 (29:27):
At a Greek party, you may wear.
Speaker 15 (29:29):
One of these blank blank you say it, and it's
a It's like a white sheet over your body, like
a dress.
Speaker 7 (29:34):
It's called a what Greeks where Greeks were?
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Oh, Johnny, if you would have got toga, you would
have tied.
Speaker 2 (29:48):
But yeah, the old animal house toga party. That's well, Johnny.
We appreciate you playing bunny and you can try again
any time. Heck, probably tomorrow, Jackie won't remember me name. Anyway,
We appreciate you, Johnny. Thank you so much, my boy, Ricky.
(30:12):
Look at you down there in Gilmer, Texas getting the
big old bird tea county peeing us.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
We're gonna send them down to you, buddy.
Speaker 10 (30:18):
Y'all run by.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
That sounds great.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Bit
request time Norman Langeless from Wilmington, North Carolina. Oh, Norman says,
I like the one with Ravern talking about an article.
George Turtley swimming New York. Sewer says that is a
good Norman.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
I think is Arthur.
Speaker 4 (30:42):
Found now?
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Alright, so hang on, Norman. We think we got you
coming up next.
Speaker 5 (31:13):
Good morning.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
As on the radio, their request is a Rayford Rain
Norman Lange, glyss Lane Gliss.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
I got you, Norman, beautiful woman to North Carolina.
Speaker 17 (31:27):
Here's you require with some gems from the weird. I
got laughing at something in this story here that I'd
missed the guy's name. Oh boy, it floats sometimes, you know.
(31:54):
A week before last we told you about record holding
water treader Moon Huffstettler swimming fifty five miles on the
Catawba River to help commemorate my fifty five years in
broadcasting and practicing for his next big swim all the
way down the Mississippi River. Well, here's a man who
plans to swim the New York City sewer system. Dateline,
(32:16):
Weekly World News, New York City. A courageous garbage man
is demanding his right to swim the length of the
city's sewer system from one end to the other, just
to prove that the waste water festering under the city
streets is nowhere near as toxic as it's cracked up
to be. The man, Arthur Turdmore told me Weekly World
(32:37):
News office whining about pollution makes me sick. It's turd
Moore says. He says, I'm going to swim the sewer
to show the world and a man as healthy as
(33:00):
he makes up his mind to be.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Mister Turnmoise, He.
Speaker 17 (33:18):
Says he's learned that it may be easier to dog
paddle through the sere than negotiate big apple bureaucracy. They
got me loaded up with paperwork, running from one office
to another for permits, like I was some kind of
hamster in a maze. There would be Marathon's swimmer would
(33:40):
also like to obtain some financial sponsors, says it's been
difficult to attract attention from the press, who says that,
mister turdmoy, I'm being a Robert d Riyford swimming against
(34:07):
the stream on the John Boyn Villa showing.
Speaker 1 (34:11):
Betty good morning. It's a big on the radio.
Speaker 3 (34:38):
All right, man, you miss any.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Of the Christmas Carl episodes, get them all to John
Boye Miller Lake Drowsers podcast.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
You read to wrap it up right here? What's up?
Winter Wonderlanders bird Fern.
Speaker 14 (34:51):
Here with the fourth and final episode of your big
show Morning Mini movie Holiday Spectacular. A Christmas Carl Storry,
Carl Children's at Scrooge and Spank. He is the Ghost
of Christmas Yet to Come, brought to you by Colonel
Hanson's all purpose turd polished turn that brown upside down
with Colonel Hanson's.
Speaker 1 (35:10):
Now back to our stories.
Speaker 14 (35:13):
When we last left Scrooge, he just ventured into the
wee hours of the morning with his new tour guide,
the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Oh, this can't miss.
Speaker 4 (35:26):
You ain't much at this ghosting? Are you all that
noise and lights of flashing? We're still here in my bedroom?
What's wrong? Mister t ain't gotten the guys. You're not
too quick, are you there? Jetro? This is your bedroom
in the future. Who's all these folks milling around this
time of night by here looking for a handout. They're
here to pay their last respects to the late Ebenezer
(35:48):
screw How about that? Look at them folks just to
crying and carrying on and whatnot. Look to me, Look,
I'm gonna miss me a good bit. They're not crying
because you did. You're crying because they didn't get a
chance to kill you themselves. These are the people you
had cheated and screwed over when you were a light.
You're dope. Well, my people don't seem like much to me.
(36:11):
Look out that window, big spinder. How many blocks you reckon?
That line stretches quite a few? Who? Well, ain't there
noe out there? And it's even a little sad. Oh
you bet your life. Hold on to your night cap,
old cap, I'd recognize there's dump any words, This is
(36:40):
Bob Cratchit's place. What are we doing here? Who you
said you wanted to see? Someone said, so shut up
and listen.
Speaker 14 (36:49):
I saw mister Scrooge's nephew today. He told me how
heartily sorry he was for our loss. He is so thoughtful.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And what a sharp dress?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Are what we weary?
Speaker 1 (37:01):
Miss Barbara still unavailable. I'm afraid so, but I think
it's going well, don't you.
Speaker 14 (37:07):
Could you just stick to the script please? I shall
miss coming home with tiny Tim on my shoulder. Oh,
my little child, my little child, you're really good.
Speaker 4 (37:25):
Thank you, little Feller, Little Feller. Still wonder why everybody's
glad you did? It doesn't end there. You're going down
(37:47):
less hair must be. Some folk calls it hell. I'm
calling it eighties, and now you can call it home.
Make you so comfortable, Scrooge. You'll be here a while,
at least for an eternity. Don't leave me here, mister ghost.
(38:09):
I reckon. I can use one more chance. I can
change my ways. I won't call Christmas a humbug off
time being so cheap. I'll even help Cratchett to give
the kid. Just don't leave me here, what m I
(38:33):
don't care if it was just a dream, that's a
whole lot say for being nice to folks. I reckon,
and I'm gonna start with them. Cratchit.
Speaker 14 (38:42):
Scrooge was a new man. He greeted Christmas morning and
his fellow man with a smile.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas.
Speaker 14 (38:51):
After spreading joy to the rest of London, he finally
reached Bob Cratchit's house.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Matha den. What do you make of all that screaming? Well,
I guess a lot of people got polyester for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (39:09):
Merry Christmas.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
Cratchit, mister Scrooge's that you? Oh he's on the cracks.
I'll get my mate. What are you doing here, cratch It.
Speaker 4 (39:19):
I'm a new man. I've had three gods. Show me
how no count I been Christmas? Ain't a humbug. You
can have a day off and I'm giving you a raise.
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Oh, just in time for the after holiday fails. I'll
get my perth.
Speaker 4 (39:33):
Bible says a man had no order to go with
another man. But I don't reckon the Lord. It's send
a good fella like you to Hades. He's a he
is just filling in.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
How could a fella get any rest at all with
all this dead god racket?
Speaker 14 (39:48):
Scrooge, son of a hold it, Papa, I'll get the shovel.
Speaker 1 (39:52):
No, no, no, timn no, this is the new mister Scrooge.
Speaker 4 (39:56):
Merry Christmas, Little Feller we're gonna get you all ba
me and you we're gonna be friend.
Speaker 14 (40:05):
But my dad, you loopie old fart Scrooge was better
than his word, and from that Christmas on he was
loved by all, and to tiny Tim who did not die,
he became like a second father.
Speaker 4 (40:17):
Gonna put marm Arond, you low feller. You are freaking
me out?
Speaker 1 (40:21):
Man?
Speaker 4 (40:21):
How come ye talk?
Speaker 1 (40:23):
A holiday? Happy ending.
Speaker 14 (40:24):
We hope you've enjoyed a Christmas carl brought to you
by Colonel Hanson's all purpose, turn polished, turn that brown
upside down with Colonel Hanson's on behalf of the John
Boy and Billy Big Show. We wish you all the
merriest Christmas, the happiest holiday and made the lesson learned
by Ebenezer Scrooge be with you all year long until
next time.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Friends, This is your old pal Bert Fern saying so long.
Speaker 5 (40:50):
Dead.
Speaker 18 (40:51):
Boxes here all your favorites from four decades and Big
Show ninety nine says he's fifteenth for nine ninety nine
by him once play. Many were shopping blitbox online at
the Bigshow dot com.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
What a Big Show stuff I follow?
Speaker 18 (41:01):
The number is eight hundred and four seven to one
stuff online services by animin dot com.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
This is any big show today, Won't let that happen
causing up John Obill and Late Rosers. Podcast Man. Wherever
you get your podcasting, make it easy. Subscribe to us
with a free iHeartRadio app. Ai y Hey, rest your days,
you on tomorrow, Love you mane it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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