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December 19, 2024 45 mins

Thursday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Dr. Elmo performs “John Boy Got Run Over By A Reindeer”.. - and we’ll have Mr. Sulu take a whack at “Take a Walk on the Wild Side”.. - We’ll see what’s on Larry the Cable Guy’s Christmas playlist.. - We’ll have the redneck Joan Jett sing “I Love Santa Claus.. - and Ike Turner enlists Jackie for a duet of “Baby It’s Cold Outside”…

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Good morning. You got a big show on the radio.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
More chances you to win coming up after your news
weather sports Bie.

Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is Spanjordy arts in all today from Hammer.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Langerford, Norway.

Speaker 1 (00:19):
After around to Kick the Wolverine.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
There's nothing like sitting back, drinking a great big Harring
smoothie and listening to the Big Show with John Boy
and Beiley. There's a bond in this one.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Of the soundtrack from the Honest Tunes Hung around the
Campfire the Boys Scout National Jamboree in two thousand and one.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Prismus Balls, rismustballs.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
That.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Boys and boat boys.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Merry Christmas, everybody on this December to nineteen, all right,
everybody as happy as I am.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
And then the Holidays who look.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
At them smiley faces in here. I can't see y'all,
but I feel you feel ye, all right? National hard
Candy Day, National oatmeal muffin Day, and National Regifting Day. See,
there's nothing wrong with that. It's got its own day, Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:56):
I've never had a problem with it was.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
And that's I'm like a high falutin regifter. On John
Boy's Wonderful Things Where at Giveaway number one hundred and
twenty eight.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
The find folks at.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Waffle House gave me a few waffle House hats, and
here's one that's never been worn.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I want to share the wonderful waffle House feeling and
you can have it.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
We give it away tomorrow at the beginning of the
final hour the Big Show.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
All right, well, let me see we're easing in here.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
We'll get the winning beginning and I'll continue as your
congenial host as we head towards Christmas.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Big Show. It's on the radio. Oh its better, Good morning, got.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
The Big Show on the radio. First prize pack today,
Redmax Prize Pack. You know they make the best tremors
and bloors. Check out their commercial zero turn moors. We
got one of Booger brush Man. That thing is awesome.
Can't wear it out. You got a year unlimited hours
more the Kwisaki Engines heavy duty fabricated decks. You just

(03:05):
moled like a pro with Redmax. Pick on the link
at a Big Show dot Com. Listen up here to
our three days in history where we're got our categories.
In nineteen twenty two, twenty four year old Theresa Vaughn
was tried for bigamy in England. In five years she
had accumulated. How many husbands sixty two? Yikes, a sixty

(03:29):
two husband.

Speaker 5 (03:30):
Can you imagine your wife being married to sixty two
different youths.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
You're only twenty four years old. Wow, you gotta get
a jump on it. Yeah, h three, four weddings a day,
five years.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm about spinning plate.

Speaker 6 (03:51):
All right.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
I move up to twenty sixteen.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
At least forty eight people died in Siberia after drinking
bath lotion allegedly thought the lotion contained alcohol.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
What weird weird.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Fact right there, the thing about alcohol for this one,
and remember those students. Twenty twenty three, Science magazine named
the anti obesity medications that mimic the hormone GLP one
as their breakthrough of the year for containing the medicine
semi glue tide that is oh oh oh ozampeg yep, Yeah,

(04:31):
we are new songs from the truck.

Speaker 5 (04:32):
They keep finding other things that it's good for. I
mean that there's all kinds of benefits, and I just
keep waiting on the other shoot of drops.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
You know, So ozami dealers like diabetes.

Speaker 5 (04:43):
Originally they were researching for diabetic diabetes control.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Yeah, all right, well, all right, you'll be careful out
there with that. And uh, there's our three categories. Who
come on, let's have fun with them all one eight
hundred Big Show you told free line across America.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
We play outburst Thursday morning.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Big Show's on the radio for your December the nineteenth.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
We got our feature track from the Big Show, Big.

Speaker 2 (05:33):
Box all it is a good I can Jackie saying, baby,
it's cold outside. See what happened, old baby? Your key
words of the bid box when you had to make
shore dot come all right, get the wedding ben Uptors.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Let's play Uptors. It's the game that anyone can win.
Shon boy Billy gay bluses for the big prize. Let's
go contested number one.

Speaker 7 (06:05):
This shit be a lot of fun.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
Win your good having having guess time.

Speaker 4 (06:13):
You have to guess time till you have a big shots.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Let's say had a Daniel from having done for Rginia.

Speaker 4 (06:24):
We have.

Speaker 2 (06:31):
Good morning, Daniel. How you doing, Hey buddy, we are awesome.
Welcome in here amongst us. You ready to get through
these three categories and get the win in beginning, Yes, sir,
I knew it. Let's do it, buddy, and honor that
twenty four year old England her sixty two husbands, three characteristics,

(06:52):
women won't and a husband ready.

Speaker 6 (06:56):
Tony money diving on.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
All right, that'll give us three things that contain Alky
Hall ready to.

Speaker 6 (07:06):
Go, winy liquor what okay?

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Bam bam bam Manhi, hey buddy, he's going for the record.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Cut now.

Speaker 1 (07:14):
Three ways to lose weight, ready to go.

Speaker 6 (07:18):
Watch what you eat, die and work out and bam
give him.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
The ball, Daniel, just like that Redmex prize pack. Head
to your pad up in Abingdon.

Speaker 6 (07:32):
Yes, sir, all right, buddy, hang out, all.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Right, just jump out, catch you up on your knees
on the other side.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
Time capsule, Yeah, there's morning.

Speaker 8 (07:50):
Laugh.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
First thing here, this is.

Speaker 9 (08:21):
The award winning John Boy and Billie Big Show, the
South's number one export.

Speaker 10 (08:36):
Goes.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
It is time, huncle buddy, how are you?

Speaker 11 (08:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (08:41):
What a great crowd.

Speaker 7 (08:42):
Holy crap, it looks like the Road Company and Deliverance
in here. I'll tell you that right now. And here
he is, folks, the man who thinks that algebra is
what mermaids where to cover their boobies. I knew the
broad would love that. So my grandson, Sheldon, he started
to lose his baby teeth.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
What a nightmare.

Speaker 7 (09:04):
The other night he lost the tooth, but it broke
in half, so he figured he'd pull a fast woe
and put one half under his pillow each night. So
that night I told his mom to teach him a
lesson than honesty and not play with the tooth fairy
that night. Not play the tooth fairy. So the next
morning he gets up, he says, hey, Grandpa, buddy, the
tooth fairy didn't leave me any money last night. I said,
you know, why don't you? He says, no, why, I said,
because you don't screw with the tooth fairy.

Speaker 11 (09:24):
Son.

Speaker 12 (09:24):
She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but
the tooth.

Speaker 7 (09:29):
Right over his head too. So what about this global warming?
How does anybody still buy that line of crap anymore?
You want to hear the latest vie, Of course you do.
You still think Obama's a good president, So you want
to hit the latest crazy talk from the shrub humpers.
They say that a small nuclear war could actually reverse
the effects of global warming. You know what, This might

(09:50):
sound selfish, but that sounds a lot better than having
to buy an electric car.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
I'll tell you that.

Speaker 7 (09:56):
So about the mall The other day, there's these two
bros doing the mallwalking thing. If you seen the women
that go to the mall for exercise. Yeah, that's good
for business.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
I know.

Speaker 7 (10:04):
I go to the mall to google a bunch of
old bags doing laps around a food court. So I'm
sitting there drinking coffee. These two big beefy dames they
take a pit stop in front of the art the
Treacher's Fish and Chips. They start talking about how hard
it is to lose weight as you get older, and
one of them complains that, you know, she couldn't get
rid of that pear of shape, and the other one says,
no matter how much she exercised, her backside and thighs

(10:25):
keep getting bigger. I leaned over and said, you know
what they say, ladies, the lard works in mysterious ways.
He did not get as big a laugh as I thought,
but at least they were easy to outrun. You know, folks,
whoa My doctor's on my back about getting more exercise. Yeah,
he says walking can add minutes to your life, which means,
at eighty five years old, you can spend in an

(10:47):
additional five months in a nursing home at seven grand
a month. Congratulations, walking, they say that's the best exercise.
Oh boy, Don't get me wrong. I like long walks,
especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. Right now,
the only reason I take up walking is so that
I can hear heavy breathing.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Again.

Speaker 7 (11:07):
I have to walk early in the morning before my
brain figures out what I'm doing. I joined the health
club last year, spent four hundred bucks, haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there. I got plenty of
exercise the last few years.

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Just getting over the hill.

Speaker 13 (11:23):
I'll tell you that.

Speaker 7 (11:25):
Someone suggested I try cross country skiing. Now, all I
got to do is move to a smaller country. Every
time I start thinking about how I look, I just
find a happy hour, and by the time I leave,
I look just fine again. I gotta accept the fact
that I'm getting don't go with the big one.

Speaker 11 (11:40):
What do you you know?

Speaker 7 (11:42):
I just I gotta accept the fact that I'm getting old.
What am I gonna do? I got a friend, Lenny,
eighty years old. He's getting married next week. I said, Lenny,
you're getting married?

Speaker 1 (11:51):
He says yeah. I say, do I know her? He
says no.

Speaker 12 (11:54):
I say, so that's chicky.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Is she good looking?

Speaker 12 (11:56):
He says not really.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I said, wow, can she cook?

Speaker 12 (11:58):
He says no, not too well. Does she have lots
of money?

Speaker 4 (12:01):
No?

Speaker 7 (12:01):
Pours the church mouse? She couldn't bed. I don't know,
I said, Lenny, why in the world do you want
to marry her? Then he said because she can still drive?

Speaker 5 (12:12):
All right?

Speaker 7 (12:13):
One last one? He's there, Three old guys out walking,
and I got one after this? You like this one?
Three old guys out walking. First one says windy, isn't
it secone said no, it's Thursday.

Speaker 11 (12:22):
Good.

Speaker 7 (12:22):
One says so am I let's get a beer, all right?
This the last one, and I'm on this little old guy.
He shuffles slowly into a basket Robin's ice cream parlor.
He wobbles over to the counter and slowly painfully pulls
himself up on a stool. The waitress waits while he
catches his breath. Finally, the old man ers orders a

(12:42):
banana split. The waitress says crush nuts. He says, no, arthritis.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
I told you just be worth the wait.

Speaker 11 (12:52):
So long.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Everybody, chum Boy.

Speaker 2 (12:56):
And Dilly love it or hate it, it appears to
be another irreversible step along Mankind's journey toward God only
knows what.

Speaker 5 (13:05):
Good morning radio.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Dumb right, good Thursday morning, Big Jone's on the radio. Well,

(13:38):
there's always something exciting happening and beautiful little Dismal seep
in South Carolina, and here to tell us all about it,
the mayor himself, the Honorable Merwin Coop Fiddleswoop. Good morning,
mister Mayor, Good morning, John Boy, and to all your
wonderful listeners. Hell, the holiday season is here, and you
always do something special. So what have you got forced today?

(14:01):
He surprisingly astute question, John Boy.

Speaker 9 (14:06):
Well, as you know we hear in Dismal Seepage love
doing things the whole family can enjoy. But every once
in a while we like to do something for just
the grown ups. And I'm so happy and proud to
announce our first annual International Happy Naughty Nudes Year Festival.

Speaker 1 (14:22):
So what does that mean?

Speaker 12 (14:24):
A fair question, John Boy, And what I expected.

Speaker 9 (14:29):
It's really to celebrate the grand opening of one of
our newest businesses in Dismal Seepage, buns Up and Wheeland
Naturist Camp, and the founders Lloyd buns Up and Misty wheeling.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
Well, Dismal Seepage has a nudest camp. Gee, I wonder
where I heard that. Well, all right, everything.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Else aside seems like the wrong season for a Newdest celebration.

Speaker 9 (14:52):
Well, the winners tend to be very mild here, John Boy.
And it's a good thing too, because this will be
a non clothing event.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Wait a minute, be naggd people running all over Dismal Seeping.

Speaker 12 (15:03):
You say that like it's something new. We got a
lot of weirdos running around here.

Speaker 9 (15:06):
Paths so wants to run down. I'm so glad you asked,
John Boy. As usual, the big parade down Main Street
will be something to see. The Ann Hathaway School of
Breast Augmentation marching band will be on hand, followed by
the stripped down clown troop nagging clowns. They paint their
whole bodies. It's a it's a wild scene, man.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
I don't suppose you help with the painting.

Speaker 12 (15:33):
The Shriners will also be on hand, naked Shriners, well
sort of. They'll have their fez hats on their lap.
I mean, you know somebody wants to see that.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Well, I can't wait to hear the attractions you're bringing
the then why wait, John boy, This festival truly is international.

Speaker 12 (15:51):
All the way from Germany.

Speaker 9 (15:52):
The boosting halton kens and flopping naked dancing girls will
be putting on shows all weekend, naggd. If they want
their check to clear, they will be. But it's not
just for the guys. We've got something special for the
ladies too. It's an exotic type of Chippendale's show all
the way from Hawaii. Yes, it's the kamanitia pp.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
All male review. Will they be handing out lace?

Speaker 9 (16:17):
We can't let the weekend go bye with it without
some sort of an athletic component.

Speaker 12 (16:23):
So all the way from China we've got Dong Pong.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
Wait, no, that's a bit much.

Speaker 12 (16:29):
Relax, Francis, it's not what you think.

Speaker 9 (16:31):
Dong Pong is the Chinese all nude table tennis champion
from the Winky Dink Province.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Alright, to be clear, he does use a paddle to
hit the ball right. And the closing night concert.

Speaker 9 (16:46):
The closing night concert will feature high Beam Hattie and
her naked nightingales. I hesitate the ask, but will there
be foods? Yeah, we got a couple of food trucks.
Harry's hot dogs and Tina's tacos. I was expecting hooters,
and you'll see plenty this weekend.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
So I finally figured out why you're doing this in
the winter. You'll be able to blame the cold for shrinkings.

Speaker 5 (17:10):
So come on down this weekend.

Speaker 9 (17:14):
For the first annual Dismal Seapitch International Naughty Nudes Hear Festival.

Speaker 12 (17:19):
Just bring the skin you're in.

Speaker 9 (17:20):
You'll have a ball where they supposed to gar there wallats,
I'll show you.

Speaker 2 (17:27):
Good morning. You got the big show on the radio.
More chances for you to win coming up after your news,
weather and sports.

Speaker 7 (17:34):
Ah, you gonna have all them good at two shoes
on the radio talking about that damn Peaton having baby.
Then nothing sexy and a hot young man talking trash
on the radio. I like all them opinionated time men,
rock limball yaw Handy, Neil Bart. Yes, now on the roof,

(18:01):
they have a fire in the party. It's getting hot
in here. I take off all my cloes. WHOA, I
feel so vulnerable.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Good morning is a mag on the radio? Yes, I
hear you. Request my.

Speaker 2 (18:51):
Friends of chronic lyricoses, and we suffer together, you tom
boy chronic lyricoses Christmas special is coming up in minutes. Yes,
let's all reheice. I will tell you yesterday on John Bodge.

(19:12):
Everything we found out, even though this is the consistently
voted song, is the world's most despised Christmas tune.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Now, this is what we're hearing right here, I'm kind
of digging that. Well, nofore he ran, I'm not gonna
look at your way, don't turn it out.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
It still rags in the dough every holiday season from radio, airplace,
dreaming services and merchandising. That of course is Grandma got
run over by a reindeer. But when you put a
cool video together and change some words around and have
the original Doctor Elmo sing it in here the Big

(19:50):
Show Studio, well it just comes out.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
Awful. ID got it to let you fill in? Got
to with the old Christmas spirit door I can't taking
on you.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
So here it is Doctor Elmo's version in the Big
Show Studio.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Merry Christmas, everybody.

Speaker 13 (20:15):
John Boy got run over by a reindeer and walking
home from our house Christmas Eve.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
You can say there's no such thing.

Speaker 13 (20:26):
As Santa, but it has for me in La Really,
he'd been drinking too much egg now and We begged
him not to go, but he forgot his medication and
he staggered out the door into the snow. When we

(20:51):
found him Christmas morning at the scene of the attack,
he hoof prints on his forehead and incrimin eighties and
falls mars on his butt. John Boy got right over.

Speaker 6 (21:09):
By radier.

Speaker 13 (21:12):
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve. You can say
there's no such thing as Santa.

Speaker 6 (21:20):
But as for me and Billy believe.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Now we're all soap out of Billy. He's been taking
this so well.

Speaker 13 (21:35):
See him in there watching football, drinking beer and making
moves on cousin. Now it's not Christmas. Let out John boyd.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
All the families dressed.

Speaker 13 (21:49):
In black, and we just can't help. But wonder should
we open up his gifts or send them back? And
John Boy got run over by rainier walking home from.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Our house Christmasy. You can say there's no such thing
as stand up.

Speaker 13 (22:13):
But as for me and Billy, we believe. Now the
goose is on the table, and the eggnog freely flows,
and the blue and silver candles that would just have
matched the hairs in John Boy's nose. I've owned all

(22:37):
my friends and neighbors better watch out for yourselves. They
should never give a license to a man who drives
a sleigh in vondles Elves.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
John Boy got run over by radar.

Speaker 13 (22:57):
Walking home from our house Christmas. You can say there's
no such, say Santa Bada, that's from the unbela we.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
Believe singing Grandpa John.

Speaker 13 (23:11):
Boy got right old by a ranger.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Walking on from our houses. See, you can say there's
no such, sing Santa Da, that's from the n l.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Away believe.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Our Christmas. Good morning.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
I got the big show on the radio coming up.
We played John Boy Jeopardy prize pack an LS Tractor
Hunting Season prize pack in kloes, A cool t shirt
for you dog man, look back at this year. We
have been taking care of the dogs this year. There's
a hells tractor. We're stepping up here at the end
and doing the same. We got a cool blaze orange

(23:58):
beanie for you to wear. We got to clean the
key chain. If you go to LS Tractor USA, you
will find your local dealer and learn why customers start
blue and stay blue. Congratulations to the LS Tractor winter
that we had down Alabama, and we'll say ask about
the mossy oak Camo version LLS tractor that they got

(24:18):
right now.

Speaker 5 (24:19):
It's a little hard to find him a lot because
it's Camo.

Speaker 6 (24:23):
You give it up.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Keep words out of the tractor material right now, as promised.
Check this out this holiday season.

Speaker 8 (24:31):
Get ready for Christmas like you've never heard it before.
It's John Boys chronic lyricosist Christmas special hark the Hairy angels.

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Singing you better wash yuh, you better not ripe, better
not pile. I'm telling your wife.

Speaker 14 (24:46):
Santa Claus is calling to tail. It's bacon and lips,
chicken and rice. Come to find out he's nutty. Y'all right,
Santa Clause is going to town. It's these two when

(25:07):
you're sleep, feed and those when you're away.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
He knows if you're in bed for good, So be
good for good.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
Miss Blake.

Speaker 8 (25:18):
Yeah, everybody's second favorite. Jolly old Elf brings you a
buttload of holiday cheer. Police knock me down, your favorite
holiday classics. Police knock me down as only John Boy
would do.

Speaker 1 (25:31):
The police knock me down, So get up.

Speaker 14 (25:33):
I'm going to.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
Leave, sweethearts. I'm gonna left you a merry Christmas. I'm
gonna left you a merry Christmas.

Speaker 10 (25:43):
I'm gonna left you a Merry Christmas from Nevada on
my heart.

Speaker 8 (25:49):
He may not quite know the words, but he's definitely
got the Christmas spirit right.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
High Mule Tie never sounded like this.

Speaker 15 (26:00):
Dark Dolls with balls and Harley's falling on a log
and under Dog te Seas into Big Trolley's falling on
a log and Underdog Don Rinaldo's a barrel loaded doll
londing on lobby Dog roll the ancient low side barrel.

Speaker 7 (26:24):
FA A long Long.

Speaker 4 (26:34):
No no.

Speaker 5 (26:38):
No World, Barny's log.

Speaker 8 (26:46):
H don't miss John Boy's chronic Lyricosa's Christmas Special.

Speaker 16 (26:52):
We went through a Merry Chris Must. We went through
a merry Chris Must. We went through a Merry Christmas,
and A had me two beers. We went through a
merry Christmas. We went through a merry Christmas. We went
through a merry Christmas, and I had made two beers.
Good tidy, Sweet dreams to you and your kid. Get

(27:14):
tidy for Christmas if you're having two beers.

Speaker 8 (27:18):
Park the Hairy Angels sing Christmas Eve at eight on
the only network this desperate for programming, Fox Family Channel.

Speaker 2 (27:27):
Oh Yeah, let's play John Boy Jeopardy All, we already
reviewed the old John Boy got run over by a
reindeer song, So let's jump right in here. Forty seven
percent of the Americans that received one of these as
a holiday gift, we'll.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
Throw it away.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
What is anything from John Boy's Wonderful Things?

Speaker 1 (27:49):
Oh no, what y'all got one? Ain't undred?

Speaker 2 (27:53):
Big Show you told free line across America, we played
John Boy Jeopardy Next.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Good Morning, Big.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Show's on the radio Thursday, December to nineteenth.

Speaker 1 (28:31):
How about our feature track from the Big Show bit Box.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
I can Jackie saying baby, it's cold outside.

Speaker 1 (28:36):
Search for keywords cold.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Baby at the bit Box, Bigshow dot comy Right now,
let's play yes live across America.

Speaker 1 (28:45):
It's jock Boychnaby and.

Speaker 5 (28:48):
Now your host. He asked that I take this time
to remind you that your local Walmart store will be
closed on Christmas Day. That way both of their cashiers
and be with their families.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
He's John Boy.

Speaker 11 (29:02):
That bang you.

Speaker 2 (29:04):
Let's say hey to Randy. He's out of Jones County, Georgia.
Good morning, Randy, Good morning John Boy.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
Hey what a hi? Randy?

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Look at you getting the first shot at it this morning?
Put yourself in the shoes of forty seven percent of
Americans they will receive one of these as a holiday gift.

Speaker 1 (29:25):
We'll throw it away. Welcome to be Randel. I'm gonna
go ahead, wrapping paper, down boy, go with ooh interesting
wrapping paper, dude.

Speaker 5 (29:44):
Our friendish family have to step up their game at Christmas.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Say half America, save it. You know there's not doing
to use it again.

Speaker 6 (29:54):
Right, that's right, Dombo.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
Say, we'll tell you a lot.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
Unfortunately that is right, dog gone it. But Randy, we
appreciate you playing. Whether you try again in time, Yes.

Speaker 7 (30:06):
I appreciate down boy.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
Can I get a shout out?

Speaker 1 (30:08):
Of course? Go ahead.

Speaker 2 (30:10):
Oh, I just want to give a shout out man
to all my fellow ups drivers. Just Christmas, y'all be
safe out there and everybody in Jones County. I'll have
a happy merry Christmas. Well, all right, Raancy, I explains
the ups driver thirsty.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
I got you, Yes, sir, right, yes, all the way.

Speaker 2 (30:27):
Well Mary, Christmas, buddy, Mary, Christmas, be careful about Chris boy.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Oh right, oh, I did well. Let's go up.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Say hey to Tommy I of Liberty, South Carolina. Good morning, Tommy,
Good morning, hey, buddy, So you know Randy guest wrapping paper,
forty seven percent of Americans will throw it away.

Speaker 1 (30:50):
Yeah, so, but not the correct one we're looking for.
What do you think it is, Tommy?

Speaker 17 (30:56):
Well, I probably get in trouble for saying, well, my
wil I ain't looking. I always throw away those fruitcakes
that people give up.

Speaker 11 (31:08):
I don't like them.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Well, let's see if you were in that forty seven
percent of Americans show us fruitcakes.

Speaker 5 (31:18):
Yes you are.

Speaker 10 (31:23):
I don't know it.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
All right, Well your secrets say with us, Tommy, we
got that boy brotherhood going here. But you know I
actually bought her fruitcake. Wow, I like them like that
and an old Butler, Joe Butler, my boy, uh were
the codes was a big hunting.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
He's all fruitcake. That's a good price. I said, Well,
Mary Christmas, I bought him a fruitcake.

Speaker 5 (31:44):
You're a giver.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
And now I know, Tommy, Jackie's gonna give you my
dress or you just mail those fruitcakes.

Speaker 17 (31:49):
Yeah, if maybe it'll be cheaper next year.

Speaker 5 (31:53):
If they're a homemade they can be like ninety proof.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
You know, I can't remember the brand name with this.
It's like a long one. Yeah, it's like a long
reck tag and like it was only like three ninety nine.
Is that a good price?

Speaker 5 (32:07):
Sounds like it?

Speaker 17 (32:08):
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. Oh we're good all right,
feel so bad about throwing it away now.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
I don't know what got the sucker. A lot of process, y'all.
Ain't got no steak tag, so it might be all right.
Then we'll get into that later, Tommy. If you hang on,
Jack could get your info.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
Buddy.

Speaker 17 (32:25):
Thank you. Merry Christmas, man, Merry Christmas to you.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
All right, we're gonna jump.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
I'll get you news right here, Bye bye bye from
NICO Sports. Got something special here as we make history
in the college football world, packerby telling us about it.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Are the Football Frontay tomorrow.

Speaker 7 (32:45):
Hang on with Bob.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
Hang on sounds a little helper, the famed Bob Ibog
from n CO Sports a great gift idea for that
cause I'll get him on the linery.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Let me tell you it'll be in about twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Carl Childers will tell us a story of Christmas, the
only Carl kNs And we'll hang for.

Speaker 12 (33:40):
That right now.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Say good morning, bye bye, Bob n go Sports.

Speaker 11 (33:46):
Hey, good morning, John Boy and Billy. Nice to be
with you again, and you know, Merry Christmas and a
happy New Year to you guys and all your listeners
coming up. I know it's gonna be a joyous season.
We've got something talking about the holidays that I think
if you are a college football fan, you're gonna want
to get ready to take down this information that I'm

(34:08):
going to be given out because this is history. You know,
we've everybody was debating for years, only four teams in
the college football playoffs. Oh there's not enough, it's the
same teams and everything else. Well they listened. They expanded
the field this year to twelve teams and all the
fun begins on December twentieth and twenty first with first

(34:28):
round games. We came up with a fully licensed, full
sized football, only five thousand made. That's going to salute
the first time ever in history. Twelve teams being in
the college football playoffs makes it very historic anytime you
do something for the first time, and for fans listening in,

(34:48):
I know you got a lot of fans down your
way in particular, you know, with the with Clemson being
in there in Georgia, you're gonna you know, certainly a
lot of a lot of fans down on air for
those two teams, but I know you have Notre Dame
fans there, you got Ohio State, Tennessee fans. So everybody
who's in the tournament is going to get their logo

(35:13):
and their team listing on this panel. On one of
the panels of the football, I'll describe what you're going
to get in more detail, and then I'll give out
that phone number and website and you can order these.
There are only one hundred and nineteen dollars and ninety
five cents each, individually numbered certificate of authenticity. You'll also

(35:35):
get when you call. When you go to the website,
you could order a flyer, a gift flyer to put
under the Christmas tree or in that stocking and let
that person know that their historic football is going to
be coming their way. Everything on the panels is in Boston.
On the top panel will list all twelve of the
teams their rankings in the bracket format. It'll say limited

(35:59):
edition of just five thousand. The panel right below that
has full color logos of each of the twelve teams
in the college football Playoffs, along with their season record,
conference championship. If that applies, that'll be put there. The
third panel is full color logos for the six bowl

(36:20):
games that'll be hosting the playoffs later on and at
the end of December, and of course the January twentieth
game is the championship game this year. And then the
last panel is really cool because it's a gold pebbled
panel which features the championship or i should say the
college football logo on either side in that panel, so

(36:43):
you get all that information. This football has never been
done before. It's the first year ever to salute expanding
to twelve teams, so there's a lot of folks that
are going to be listening and wanting to get this
because it's history. And if you want to get it,
you can call. We set up a toll free number
and a website. Here's that number one eight hundred three

(37:06):
four five two eight six eight one eight hundred three
four five twenty eight sixty eight, or just go to
the website. You'll see this football with all the information
and it's so nice and colorful on various panels. Craig
Benner at NICO Sports did an outstanding job to get
this out there and it really looks sharp. It's Nicosports

(37:30):
dot Com, nik Coosports dot com, nik coosports dot com
or again that phone number one eight hundred three four
five twenty eight sixty eight. The price of these again
is one hundred and nineteen dollars and ninety five cents.
But don't delay, because we're going to be marketing this

(37:51):
not only on your great network, but also across the
country in the respective markets of these teams. So these
will be ooped up, I believe pretty quickly.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
All right, bable, thank you for giving us the first
shot at him, buddy, and as always we got it
set up the ncosportslink when you go to the Big
Show dot Com as well.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
Good stuff, buddy, you have a merry Christmas.

Speaker 11 (38:14):
Hey, same to you, guys. Be safe and we'll talk
to you soon.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Yes we will, buddy.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Keep them coming there, boy, there you go go to
the Big Show dot Com, click on the Nico Sports link.
It'll take you right there and make sure you get
your CFP twelve team bracket.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Football. Good morning.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
It is Thursday, December the nineteenth. The Big Show is
on on the radio. In a Christmas spirit, let's do this.

Speaker 8 (39:07):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Chilterns.

Speaker 10 (39:13):
We used to watch this movie up the Nervous Hospital
every year about this time, called the Christmas Story Bench
A story about Christmas. I can tell you about it
if you own me too. Oh oh yeah, yeah, sure,
a lot of gunn anyway, Well sir, it's all about

(39:34):
this chubby little boy wears the big old glasses make
him look kindly like a bug Christmas just around the
corner of the arm. Chubby little bug boy, he got
his heart blump set on this here fancy air rifle.
Some folks called it a bb gun. I called it
an air rifle. He spends a great deal of time
thinking about it. Get Mama don't want him to get it,

(39:58):
on account of she don't want him to shoot his
eye bowl out of his head. That little chubby bug boy,
he got him a daddy. He's a hard working man,
makes a good wage. He used to be the nights
talker once upon a time, but he got him a
different job. Now. He likes to cuts out the furnace

(40:19):
and the neighbors houndogs. That chubby little bug boy Danny,
he falls in love with a lamp looks like a
lady's leg. We had a fellow like that up the
Nervous I reckon it party special on a county comes

(40:43):
from a plate called Fredjeely. I think that's north of Millsburg. Summers,
will sir. That little chubby bug boy, he got him
a little brother, no bigger than a squirrel. He likes
to rub food in his hair and sit under the
sink and drinking me. We had one of them up,

(41:03):
the nervous chubby bug boy. He got some friends aaron.
One of them sticks his tongue to the flag pole
and the other young's run off summers. That's what youngins
did for fun, for they were video games. This movie,
It's even got a bad guy, some old plug, ugly

(41:26):
boy with yellow eyes and green teeth. He kind of
crilled a little bug boy and his friends makes board
of him quite a bit. He's no count chubby little
bug boy. He finally gets a belly full of yellow eyes,
nonsense and plumb whoops the tar out of him all
the time, cursing him out like a sailor. Some folks

(41:48):
call it swear, and I call it cursed. It whoops
him so bad, little bug boy, Mama had to pull
him off, she takes him home, makes me meet a
bar soap. Don't seem like a way to had him
on the back for sticking up for himself. But he
didn't need no distractions there.

Speaker 6 (42:05):
It's close to Christmas.

Speaker 10 (42:06):
He's concentrating on getting that air rifle. He even went
to that big store downtown to campaigned old Santa Claus himself.
But this weren't the real Santa Claus. Seems like this
Santa Claus was into the brown liquor. No sure, the
real Santa claus wouldn't kill that chubby little bug Boy's
dream of that air rifle him. He told him he

(42:29):
was gonna shoot his eye out, just like everyone else thought.
Mister Bill Cox said, they call that a conspiracy. He
listened to late night radio quite a bit that Santa Claus.
He kicked that chubby little bug boy in his big
old head and he fell down the slide right into

(42:50):
them folks from the Wizard of Oz. I didn't understand
that part of it. By now, chubby little bug boy
he was seeing red seemed like an old dad gum
world was again him. Come Christmas morning, there ain't nowhere
rifle he does get this Easter bunny outfit from his

(43:12):
spisterrant it. Daddy makes him take it off on the
kind of makes him look funny anybody. After all he'd
been through, Chubby Little buck Boy was having a pretty
sad Christmas. Then his daddy he finds his present of

(43:34):
hiding in the corner. It's that dad gum air rifle.
He runs outside start shooting. Danged if he didn't shoot
his eyeball plumb out of his head. God Mama, she
come running out yelling, what you shoot?

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Time?

Speaker 10 (43:51):
Ball out of your head for her? What's shoe tive
ball out of your head for her? Chubby little buck
Boy goes crazy. He bandages up his head and goes
out looking for blood. First, he finds that no count
store Sandy Claus and elves and unloads his air rifle
on him. It didn't break the skin, but they know

(44:12):
they've been at it. And he tracked down Old Yellow Eyes.
He whooped the tar out of them before, but I
reckon that didn't satisfy that Chubby little bug boy none.
He pointed that fancy air rifle and Old Yellow Eyes,
but he was out of ammunition, so he turned that
air rifle around and commenced to club that other no

(44:33):
count young and killed him, And Daddy was so takled
to find out his boy weren't no sissy. He gave
the Christmas turkey to the neighbor dogs and took the
family out for some Chinese food. Morel of the story.
Air rifle could kill a feller if you know how

(44:54):
to use them. No, plus, you might get a bullet
chopped suwee from your daddy.

Speaker 8 (44:59):
Oh story time is brought to you by Hard Graves
potted meat product chuck full of peckers and lips since
nineteen thirty seven.

Speaker 10 (45:08):
You ever beat a feller to death? No feller?

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Good morning, The Big Show's on the radio, and more
Big Show right around the corner.

Speaker 10 (45:18):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like listening to John Boy and Billy and they're
big show.

Speaker 11 (45:26):
I like the way they talk.

Speaker 10 (45:28):
They're funny ha ha, not funny queers, that's what they say. Anyhow,
I've figured out what John Boy has a hard time
getting started the morning. Ain't gotten the gaye
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Hosts And Creators

Billy James

Billy James

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

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