December 31, 2024 • 28 mins
Tuesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll clear out all of the leftovers.. - We have some evidence to support the “kids are stupid” theory.. - Oliver comes in.. - The Easter Bunny makes the news.. - Amy Borkowsky’s mom leaves advice for Amy on her answering machine.. - Listen to see if your crime made our Dumb Crooks roundup.. - and we’ll wrap up with a letter from a listener…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Good morning. A big show is on a radio coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The easiest way for you to join the winters as
a current of insquiz. You take C no matter if
MB sounds correct, trust us on this, Take Sea and
you will win. All right, don't keep Dolki. Then birthday
is a day Jesse Jovi.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I think that should be Jesse bon Jovi, Bessie John Bovey,
I mean Jesse Bogy. This is why you didn't get
invited to the party.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
John bon Jovi's son Jesse Job. Actress Justine Bateman Mallory
from Family Ties. What happened to her? She did a movie?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I went to Burger kena that she was working the
drive Me My.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Order TV personality Lorinn Crook Old Lorin Yeah, Birthday Laurien
singer Smokey Robinson.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Mam oh and also born on this day. Sad News.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Austrian pop star Falco What of course? His hits included Rockney,
Almadeus and Dirk kamisar commissa. Yep, he's dead. Died in
the car crash February sixth, nineteen ninety eight. The suv
he was driving collided with a bus.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Wow, how about that? No, that Falco. So he was
from Austria. Yeah, sold the Kamisa and rock me on
My Days, Ama Days. I'm see yeah on this date.
In eighteen seventy eight, Thomas Edison received a patent for
the phonograph. In nineteen forty five, thirty thousand US troops
landed on the tiny island of Ewo Jima.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
What y'all want to do? Hey, let's put up a flag.
Oh that's a stupid idea, But.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hang on there, Curna Vins quiz will be played in minutes. Yeah,
Tuesday morning, everybody got a big show on the radio.
Right then current events quiz time. He's just wait for
you to join the winners.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Take sea. You will win, Billy. What are we dealing
with today?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Well, an interesting talent search contest sponsored by a food
company that may find the next big thing in pop music.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
What it's a very strange story and what they all
about it?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Here?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
All right, y'all, we're bout details just now, one eight
hundred big show, all right and playing for a pack
of Joamobilly's beef Jerky Bolli our grilla sauce, copy of
our new cookbook Top Secret Recipes, right now one eight
hundred two four four seven, four six nine color nine
plays next, Good morning, it's a big show on already.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
And you ready, ready, y yay.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
We got Psycho Joe, our old buddy at our TA Raleigh,
North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Hello, Psycho Ben, good buddy. How you been doing?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Pretty good? You got a hard to hit through on now. Yeah,
we ain't heard from you in a while. Yeah, I'm
still out here, all right. I think Psycho Joe win
this content. He'd been around for a while. Let's say, Billy.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, Psycho Joe, if that is your real name, the
next big pop group might be singing about not love
but macaroni. The Ragu Pasta Company and teen pop label
Jive Records were sponsoring a talent search to find a
new musical spokesperson or group for their products. The bad
(03:55):
news is each contestant song submission must include the words
rag Express, express, real sauce, fast, snack, and appetite in
their lyrics.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I Smell platinum.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
The good news is a the winner gets a real
life recording contract. Me even runners up get some important
national media exposure. Or see John Boy finally has an
outlet for his hot new song Stuck Inside of Memphis
with him ragu Express Express, real Sauce, fast snack, appetite
blues again.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Mama.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well God, this is a tough one, but I think,
in the words of old Roger Daltrey, see me.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
And where's around the other? Feel me? Where are we going? Later?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
God?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
You went to prize back money. Good work. Okay, thank you,
domb Crook.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
News coming up in minutes. Good morning, there's a big
yonder radio.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Hell are you, Lindsay premise here when I'm on this
side of the pond, I get my daily dose of
culture and edification every morning from these two delightful lads,
John Boy and Billy right here on the big show.
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from, you're all Yankees.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Who will?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I thought it was funny. Good morning, it's a big
(05:57):
yonder radio. John Barber, that pillows and the Jaggie Micey Myers,
stated Dutch comedian Amy Borkowski. Send us some more of
the goofy messages. Her mom, who's a typical Jewish mother,
leaves on her answering machine. All right, the real message
to tell Amy about these But first up, Amy says,
no detail of her life is too small for mom
(06:19):
to offer advice.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
AMYLA, I just want to make sure you're aware that's
starting tomorrow. The postage is going up. I think the
news stamps her self adhesive, so when you peel off
the backing, make sure not to lick them. Okay, I
gotta call meet Mabra, So give me a quote tomorrow
(06:43):
by mine.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Amy's mom makes no secret of the fact that she'd
like Amy to find a nice Jewish boy to settle
down with. Amy wondered what would have it if Mom
thought her daughter was dating someone who's well, not Jewish.
So she put this on her answering machine for mom.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Hi, this is Amy and this is Jamal. We have
come to the phone right now. Leave a message after
the phone HOLLI bag.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Hello, Hello Amy? Are you there? Hello? Amy? I think
you have a crosswire because your message is playing over
the outgoing message from some other line. There's a male
(07:30):
voice that's overlapping, and it sounds like you're doing a duet.
If you can hear me, call six one one repair
and have them straighten it out asap.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, no big surprise. Mom called right back.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Yeah, this message is for Jamal. If you can hear this,
Please call your repair service asap because your outgoing message
just coming over my daughter's machine, So anyone calling you
will also heard the message from someone named Amy.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Thank you. I didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, Oh, Amy's mom's a pretty good cook. If you
don't believe it, just listen.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh I'm stuffed to the gills. I broiled a beautiful
filet of soul, and I had some of my yellow
bowls that was so yummy. Just made a tasty kurkey
roast sand which I steamed up, some broccoli that was
so tender, and I made a delicious squashed cast row.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Meanwhile, here's how mom describes other people's cookie.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
They served corn beefs that were so fatty. They served
turkey that was too pink and roam. They served carrots
that were drowning in butter, and a horn on the
carp that got stuck in my dentures. The mushroom soup
was us The liver tasted more like a pancreas people
(09:25):
could choke a horse. They gave the string beans that
were hard as a rock, the most revaulting candid damn
and locks that was so salty. I started the gags Ooh,
the muffin made me nauseous. Chumaine made me naughtous. The
(09:46):
rice pudding made me nauseous. The layer cake made me nauseous.
And got the pumpkin.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
Pie and I thought I would throw up up And
their broccoli was so gassy, I was all f Amy's mom.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Good morning, A big show is on a radio and
it's time for another edition of dumb crook News. Dumb
crookd News sent it by you, the Big Show listener.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
It'll take time to send it in to us. We
appreciate it. Address follows this report.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, if you're planning a bank robbery, it's a good
idea to buy your getaway car before you pull the robbery.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I'd say that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Two men in Williamston, New Jersey, robbed a local bank,
then hoofed it over to a local car lot with
their new found wealth to pick out the perfect getaway vehicle.
The sales manager of the car lot managed to stall
them in with paperwork until police arrived to arrest them.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Wow, maybe they should have took the panty hose off
their head.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, he'd got a penny on your heads.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Hunh.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
A Lockhaven, Pennsylvania man says he held him a bank
because he was trying to stay out of jail. The man,
facing criminal charges for robbing a laundromat, had written a
post stated check to his bail bondsman. Needing money to
cover the check, the man went to a local bank
and robbed it of nine thousand dollars. Moments after leaving
the bank, brainiact crashed his car into a tree. Imagine
that he's now charged with fill in the armed robbery
(11:35):
and we'll have to come up with one hundred thousand
dollars bill for.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
The new charge, which you know that means another crime
and get rid of happened. Whish you'd dove with that
for a bank.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Meanwhile, a man in Invertess, Florida, pulled a convenience store
theft because he couldn't wait to get back behind bars.
Forty nine year old man stole a six pack of
beer from the store, then urged the clerk to call
the police. I want you to a career criminal till the cops.
He had decided that he couldn't cut it in the
outside world and just wanted to go back to jail.
At one point that he suspect assidn officer if he
(12:07):
had committed a misdemeanor or a felony. When told it
was a misdemeanor, the man said, next time, I'll have
to commit a felony so I can go to prison
as soon as I get out of jail.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Man, he can't hack it in the real one.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And then there was the muntiplier ver montcrook who broke
out of jail to go on a beer run and
was arrested while trying to break back in. The man,
serving an eight to thirty month sentence for a variety
of petty crimes, crawled under a fence at the prison
and walked a mile and a half to a local
convenience store. He was nabbed by prison guards as he
crawled back under the fence with a case of beer
(12:40):
and cart and of cigarettes. Spokesman for the Vermont Correction
System says this is the first time he's ever heard
of someone being arrested for trying to break into prison.
Dumb judge News a Broward County, Florida Circuit judge can
face disciplined by the state Supreme Court after allegations that
he used a device in court that makes a toilet
flushing sound to show a defense lawyer what he thought
(13:01):
of his court case. The judge says the toilet flushing
machine he once used while presiding over a rape case
was meant as a humorous comment among the other legends,
and it cited. The judge ordered a prosecutor to court
even though she had pneumonia, told a female prosecutor that
she needed to act more like a man, and responded
to a murder victim's mother who wanted to speak by saying,
(13:24):
what do I need to hear from the mother of
a dead kid? For all she will tell me is
to keep the guy in custody and never let him out.
The judges lawyer called the allegations unusual, says he charges
question the judge's personality, not his competence skill. And finally,
two crooks in Fort Laudadale, Florida, who had just relieved
(13:46):
a local bank of forty thousand dollars in cash, returned
to their getaway car and discovered while we've heard this before,
they have locked their keys inside had libbing curiously. The
man returned to the bank and asked to use the
phone all the taxi cab company, which having to have
a car right around the corner. Well, the pair might
have made a clean getaway if they hadn't tried to
stiff the cab driver for the fare.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
At the end of their ride.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
The furious cab he pulled out a pistol and held
them in at gunpoint until the cops showed up. It's
coming about the ordeal man. What a bunch of cheap jerks.
Forty thousand dollars they had in the sack and they
wouldn't even pay a twelve dollars cab fare. Have you got,
dumb crooked news? Send it to dumb crooked news. John
Boyd Billy eight o one wood Ridge Center Drive, Charlotte,
(14:32):
North Carolina two eight.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Two one seven and stay out of the.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Wolves work and we'd appreciated.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Good morning, A big show is on your radio. I
took you.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
I never see that you think like it in my life.
The sudge belly up, this full diverywhere flu it through
the air, run plates and bulls and hands. People eat
it with their figess defeat of the people's feet. It
doesn'telieve it loo with the sprints you get the mentioned
we chicken and biscuits and whole pigs of the green
big stick.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That's what it's like at the junkpoint your pully picture.
It's a buffet from stuck to finish. There should be
a cover charge. I'll tell you.
Speaker 8 (15:06):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You faint it like cleaning bill over
my head.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You canna eat that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Good morning, everybody, got the Big Show on the radio,
which just wrent us away from the stupid queers.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
We will uh, I will play calling him a nine.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You got a pack of John Obill's beef jerky, bottle
of our grilling sauce. Copy round you Grilling Sauce cookbook
Top second recipes. Alright, now, hang on, you don't play,
We'll do it in minutes. Good Morning, A Big Show
is on your radios. All right, y all this stupid
quiz time. We're playing with the big old prize package.
If you are ready one eight hundred Big Show, you're told,
free line. We'll take caller nine and i'll play next.
(16:42):
Good Morning, a Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
It's on the radio. Headed tow the bottom of the hour.
Ask me, have you seen Junior's great?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Alright, some summertime in here.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Let's see who I'm playing against.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It happens to be David from Vicksburg, Mississippi. Good morning, David,
Hey John good Man? You all right today? I'm alright,
dam Dave. You got a touched on the phone, touching number,
trying not to hang up on yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Alright, alright, there you go. You got it down. I
got the bell, and some of you got a lesson playing.
Speaker 9 (17:28):
Let's start with signs.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Let's start with side.
Speaker 9 (17:31):
Which of these places are you most likely to find
a saquaro?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
A saquaro San Francisco. You're thinking of something else?
Speaker 9 (17:44):
All right, it's a a desert, be a forest, or
see a jungle.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Hmm, yeah, Dave, I wouldn't say a desert, that's right. Player.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
It's a cactus. Yeah, oh, it's a cactus. All right?
About that? It's a quaro? One for David.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
How many grams are there? And four fifths of a kilogram?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Four fifths the way kilograms?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Fifties? Not right? That was my first guess. Let's say,
killo gram. Let me work this out in my mind.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
That is a thousand, four fifths of a thousand. It'll
be all right if it was five thousand and four
at all. No, I didn't four fifths is like ninety
percent to seem So if.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
You're doing fractions, say four out of five.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Four out of five, Dennis, Okay, we'll think of it
as packs of sugar.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Let's go fish.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Okay, all right, fish, alright, I got four fists of
one thousand grams of fish.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Nine hundred No, what was it?
Speaker 6 (19:09):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, still one and nothing.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
Geography?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Geography.
Speaker 9 (19:16):
Which of these oceans lie between the US and Asia?
Is it A the Indian, be the Atlantic or c
the Pacific Atlantic?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Atlantic? No? No, no, that's where the hurricanes come off
of Africa Asia?
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Well, yeah, we'll.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Get ready for the right.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, we're ready for the right o. Africa and Asia
are two different places. Oh Fineacif that's right, it's a
specific Well, they always end up in Atlantic. You just
needed to be more Pacific. David's up only two to nothing.
Seizure Lesia.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Here go is Disney's in Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
What kind of animal does the foot still become when
the spell is broken?
Speaker 8 (20:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Hello, David?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
That man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
David a well rounded young man out of Vicksburg, Mississippi.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, he's seen Beauty and the Beast. Little girl, ain't
one of them on meet it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, he asked me a question about uh old brother,
we're art now, hey, we asked.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You a question about fish.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
All right, fine, David, congratulations, buddy, you got the John
Will bit of beef jerky botherby Grilla sauce, tops of
your recipes our cookbook.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
All right, man, thank you, You're very welcome. Hang on,
Jackie gets information while we do a little number. Good morning.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
The big show is on the radio in our classic
bits this week. It's all Randy. We've been pretty pretty
easy on you so far, and we remain that way.
Just highlights of your life. I don't think the wave
is gonna break.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
All right. Back when Randy had problem with the Gerbils,
all right, Gerbils, Oh my god, that was Richard Gear. Yeah, yeah,
I'm sorry. Little chipmunks. Yeah, I'm telling you what they are,
a vicious little critics. Are you afraid of them?
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
They already bet me once and get those shots. I'm
doing it again. And your hair. He's a Gerbil guy,
so we should be in like Flint. I'm not a
gerful guy.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, hang on, we will relive that and set up
our crocs. Dogger that went to help you out.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Don't tell everybody you're the guy with a Gerbil in
his house. Not Gerbil, their hamsters whatever. See they're they're
sweet though. Oh I'm againdon gonna go out of them
all right.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Hey go we look at Randy's chipmunks coming up next. Okay,
(22:19):
good morning. The big show was on the radio, right
hit the torn over lye time. Here it's Randy week
when Randy got the chip monks, the jip monks.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it seems like it was. I don't know how
long ago was it.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I seem like it was, uh, well, it seems like
it was at least that long ago, back back then
sometime I remember it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, like Randy, you had a little run in with
the animal yesterday, didn't you.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I was attacked in my home. I required medical attention.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Well I'm glad the little chipmunk didn't have to die,
because it turns out what a talented chip monkey is.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And love Sling Blade one of our favorite movies. I
studied on biting you quite a bit.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
It m.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
So what you got good to eat in there?
Speaker 10 (23:06):
Well, sir, we've we've we've got nuts and berries, twigs.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Did you want me to go through the whole menu.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Reck.
Speaker 10 (23:16):
Well, the the twigs are pretty good French rod twigs, Yes, sir, firm.
Well the the small order is fifty five and the
large order is a dollar.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
We cannot have me. Some of the beacons.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Go call alone.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I playing contry.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
J D. Shell Nuts. I stand on the here but
not four three.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
And then by that kind of off center like in portrait.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
You know, I think we need to practice. We need
to we.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Don't need to practice.
Speaker 11 (24:00):
Y't anch of lois, I don't say something.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Medicine an ambulance and a hurst ready hate you?
Speaker 5 (24:15):
I ain't you doing you something?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Beats no, no, I love you, mama, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
They craze to chipmunk.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
If I don't shut up, I'm gonna go out of
my mind.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Good morning, It's a Big Show on the radio. Looking
toward uh top of the hour.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Here as we wind up today's broadcast, check from emails
from the Big Show dot com. All right, from Tina Welch.
My name is Kaitlin Welch. I'm a second grader at
Gary Road Elementary School in Byron, Mississippi. I had to
do a report on a famous American and I wanted
to report on you. Huh wow, man, I need some
(25:18):
information about you. I would like to know where were
you born Alamess County Hospital, Graham, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Who's your favorite race car driver? I have a lot
of them. He likes to play the field.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
What is your favorite color blue? How did you get
started in radio business? Stupid people around me?
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Hold that she's probably in school right now. I probably
couldn't take all that down to see from Brad Miller.
Nice website. I'm listening at work. Heard people writing in
about your revised website, so I had to check it out.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
It looks good.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
As usual, anything affiliated with the Big Show was first rate.
Enjoyed the show keeping up Llaya listener since Gionbore and
Billy got together in the early eighties. Thank you very
I've been with us for a long time.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
See.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I was listening to y'all show this morning while driving
from one base to another. And we'll to say how
much I appreciate your spotlight of our service members.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
These guys are.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So far from home and gone for so long that
any little touch of home makes a difference, and you
may rest assure that it's a positive difference. Each one involved.
Most of his or her friends will have a warm
spot to hold over several days, maybe even several weeks. Right, Yeah,
you're right, Charles Gilworth.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Thank you very much. Charles, is our honor and our pleasure.
I'm glad we were able to do that.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
One more from Megan. Hey, my name's Meghan. I listened
to your show almost every morning while getting ready for school.
My broadcasting class went on a field trip and one
of the places we visited was the place where you
guys do your show. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet
you because you guys were, of course working, but we
did see you through the big window from the booth
next to you. Anyway, I have three questions I would
(26:50):
like to ask. One, what is up with the pants
John Boy was wearing.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Imagine carpet perfectly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
We were all pretty confused and we couldn't exactly figure
out what the pattern on them was. The only thing
we did agree on about them is that they most
definitely did not match his shirt. Yeah, those are the
pants that match the carpet, right, if y'all want to.
When entering the building, we noticed that both John Boy
and Billy have reserved parking spaces complete with spiffy signs
with their names on them. Who drives a car that
(27:19):
was parked next to John Boy? That thing was sweet?
That was Randy's Akira? So so is Randy so sweet?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
What was that?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Did you put that together yourself?
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Einstein?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
But he got a team of monkeys working around the
clock on us. We got to go with the bosses.
Here was that famous? All right? Let's get it money
Big boxes.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Nine ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
You can shop at the Big Box online right now
at the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Com or a Big Show stuff by phone.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Enemy dot com.
Speaker 11 (27:56):
If you missed any of The Big Show this morning,
you can hear now the John Boy Bill, a late.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Risers podcast up next.
Speaker 11 (28:03):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy, subscribe to
us with the free I Heart Radio out see you tomorrow,
We love you, We meet it
Good morning. A big show is on a radio coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The easiest way for you to join the winters as
a current of insquiz. You take C no matter if
MB sounds correct, trust us on this, Take Sea and
you will win. All right, don't keep Dolki. Then birthday
is a day Jesse Jovi.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
I think that should be Jesse bon Jovi, Bessie John Bovey,
I mean Jesse Bogy. This is why you didn't get
invited to the party.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
John bon Jovi's son Jesse Job. Actress Justine Bateman Mallory
from Family Ties. What happened to her? She did a movie?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I went to Burger kena that she was working the
drive Me My.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
Order TV personality Lorinn Crook Old Lorin Yeah, Birthday Laurien
singer Smokey Robinson.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Mam oh and also born on this day. Sad News.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Austrian pop star Falco What of course? His hits included Rockney,
Almadeus and Dirk kamisar commissa. Yep, he's dead. Died in
the car crash February sixth, nineteen ninety eight. The suv
he was driving collided with a bus.
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Wow, how about that? No, that Falco. So he was
from Austria. Yeah, sold the Kamisa and rock me on
My Days, Ama Days. I'm see yeah on this date.
In eighteen seventy eight, Thomas Edison received a patent for
the phonograph. In nineteen forty five, thirty thousand US troops
landed on the tiny island of Ewo Jima.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
What y'all want to do? Hey, let's put up a flag.
Oh that's a stupid idea, But.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hang on there, Curna Vins quiz will be played in minutes. Yeah,
Tuesday morning, everybody got a big show on the radio.
Right then current events quiz time. He's just wait for
you to join the winners.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Take sea. You will win, Billy. What are we dealing
with today?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Well, an interesting talent search contest sponsored by a food
company that may find the next big thing in pop music.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
What it's a very strange story and what they all
about it?
Speaker 4 (02:15):
Here?
Speaker 2 (02:16):
All right, y'all, we're bout details just now, one eight
hundred big show, all right and playing for a pack
of Joamobilly's beef Jerky Bolli our grilla sauce, copy of
our new cookbook Top Secret Recipes, right now one eight
hundred two four four seven, four six nine color nine
plays next, Good morning, it's a big show on already.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
And you ready, ready, y yay.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
We got Psycho Joe, our old buddy at our TA Raleigh,
North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Hello, Psycho Ben, good buddy. How you been doing?
Speaker 4 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Pretty good? You got a hard to hit through on now. Yeah,
we ain't heard from you in a while. Yeah, I'm
still out here, all right. I think Psycho Joe win
this content. He'd been around for a while. Let's say, Billy.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Well, Psycho Joe, if that is your real name, the
next big pop group might be singing about not love
but macaroni. The Ragu Pasta Company and teen pop label
Jive Records were sponsoring a talent search to find a
new musical spokesperson or group for their products. The bad
(03:55):
news is each contestant song submission must include the words
rag Express, express, real sauce, fast, snack, and appetite in
their lyrics.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I Smell platinum.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
The good news is a the winner gets a real
life recording contract. Me even runners up get some important
national media exposure. Or see John Boy finally has an
outlet for his hot new song Stuck Inside of Memphis
with him ragu Express Express, real Sauce, fast snack, appetite
blues again.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Mama.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well God, this is a tough one, but I think,
in the words of old Roger Daltrey, see me.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
And where's around the other? Feel me? Where are we going? Later?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
God?
Speaker 1 (04:50):
You went to prize back money. Good work. Okay, thank you,
domb Crook.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
News coming up in minutes. Good morning, there's a big
yonder radio.
Speaker 6 (05:03):
Hell are you, Lindsay premise here when I'm on this
side of the pond, I get my daily dose of
culture and edification every morning from these two delightful lads,
John Boy and Billy right here on the big show.
You know, I hate to break it to you, boys,
but where I come from, you're all Yankees.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Who will?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
I thought it was funny. Good morning, it's a big
(05:57):
yonder radio. John Barber, that pillows and the Jaggie Micey Myers,
stated Dutch comedian Amy Borkowski. Send us some more of
the goofy messages. Her mom, who's a typical Jewish mother,
leaves on her answering machine. All right, the real message
to tell Amy about these But first up, Amy says,
no detail of her life is too small for mom
(06:19):
to offer advice.
Speaker 4 (06:21):
AMYLA, I just want to make sure you're aware that's
starting tomorrow. The postage is going up. I think the
news stamps her self adhesive, so when you peel off
the backing, make sure not to lick them. Okay, I
gotta call meet Mabra, So give me a quote tomorrow
(06:43):
by mine.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Amy's mom makes no secret of the fact that she'd
like Amy to find a nice Jewish boy to settle
down with. Amy wondered what would have it if Mom
thought her daughter was dating someone who's well, not Jewish.
So she put this on her answering machine for mom.
Speaker 5 (07:00):
Hi, this is Amy and this is Jamal. We have
come to the phone right now. Leave a message after
the phone HOLLI bag.
Speaker 4 (07:10):
Hello, Hello Amy? Are you there? Hello? Amy? I think
you have a crosswire because your message is playing over
the outgoing message from some other line. There's a male
(07:30):
voice that's overlapping, and it sounds like you're doing a duet.
If you can hear me, call six one one repair
and have them straighten it out asap.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Okay, no big surprise. Mom called right back.
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Yeah, this message is for Jamal. If you can hear this,
Please call your repair service asap because your outgoing message
just coming over my daughter's machine, So anyone calling you
will also heard the message from someone named Amy.
Speaker 5 (08:17):
Thank you. I didn't get it.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, Oh, Amy's mom's a pretty good cook. If you
don't believe it, just listen.
Speaker 4 (08:29):
Oh I'm stuffed to the gills. I broiled a beautiful
filet of soul, and I had some of my yellow
bowls that was so yummy. Just made a tasty kurkey
roast sand which I steamed up, some broccoli that was
so tender, and I made a delicious squashed cast row.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Meanwhile, here's how mom describes other people's cookie.
Speaker 4 (08:59):
They served corn beefs that were so fatty. They served
turkey that was too pink and roam. They served carrots
that were drowning in butter, and a horn on the
carp that got stuck in my dentures. The mushroom soup
was us The liver tasted more like a pancreas people
(09:25):
could choke a horse. They gave the string beans that
were hard as a rock, the most revaulting candid damn
and locks that was so salty. I started the gags Ooh,
the muffin made me nauseous. Chumaine made me naughtous. The
(09:46):
rice pudding made me nauseous. The layer cake made me nauseous.
And got the pumpkin.
Speaker 7 (09:52):
Pie and I thought I would throw up up And
their broccoli was so gassy, I was all f Amy's mom.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Good morning, A big show is on a radio and
it's time for another edition of dumb crook News. Dumb
crookd News sent it by you, the Big Show listener.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
It'll take time to send it in to us. We
appreciate it. Address follows this report.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Well, if you're planning a bank robbery, it's a good
idea to buy your getaway car before you pull the robbery.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
I'd say that's yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Two men in Williamston, New Jersey, robbed a local bank,
then hoofed it over to a local car lot with
their new found wealth to pick out the perfect getaway vehicle.
The sales manager of the car lot managed to stall
them in with paperwork until police arrived to arrest them.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Wow, maybe they should have took the panty hose off
their head.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
Yeah, he'd got a penny on your heads.
Speaker 6 (11:13):
Hunh.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
A Lockhaven, Pennsylvania man says he held him a bank
because he was trying to stay out of jail. The man,
facing criminal charges for robbing a laundromat, had written a
post stated check to his bail bondsman. Needing money to
cover the check, the man went to a local bank
and robbed it of nine thousand dollars. Moments after leaving
the bank, brainiact crashed his car into a tree. Imagine
that he's now charged with fill in the armed robbery
(11:35):
and we'll have to come up with one hundred thousand
dollars bill for.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
The new charge, which you know that means another crime
and get rid of happened. Whish you'd dove with that
for a bank.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Meanwhile, a man in Invertess, Florida, pulled a convenience store
theft because he couldn't wait to get back behind bars.
Forty nine year old man stole a six pack of
beer from the store, then urged the clerk to call
the police. I want you to a career criminal till the cops.
He had decided that he couldn't cut it in the
outside world and just wanted to go back to jail.
At one point that he suspect assidn officer if he
(12:07):
had committed a misdemeanor or a felony. When told it
was a misdemeanor, the man said, next time, I'll have
to commit a felony so I can go to prison
as soon as I get out of jail.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Man, he can't hack it in the real one.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And then there was the muntiplier ver montcrook who broke
out of jail to go on a beer run and
was arrested while trying to break back in. The man,
serving an eight to thirty month sentence for a variety
of petty crimes, crawled under a fence at the prison
and walked a mile and a half to a local
convenience store. He was nabbed by prison guards as he
crawled back under the fence with a case of beer
(12:40):
and cart and of cigarettes. Spokesman for the Vermont Correction
System says this is the first time he's ever heard
of someone being arrested for trying to break into prison.
Dumb judge News a Broward County, Florida Circuit judge can
face disciplined by the state Supreme Court after allegations that
he used a device in court that makes a toilet
flushing sound to show a defense lawyer what he thought
(13:01):
of his court case. The judge says the toilet flushing
machine he once used while presiding over a rape case
was meant as a humorous comment among the other legends,
and it cited. The judge ordered a prosecutor to court
even though she had pneumonia, told a female prosecutor that
she needed to act more like a man, and responded
to a murder victim's mother who wanted to speak by saying,
(13:24):
what do I need to hear from the mother of
a dead kid? For all she will tell me is
to keep the guy in custody and never let him out.
The judges lawyer called the allegations unusual, says he charges
question the judge's personality, not his competence skill. And finally,
two crooks in Fort Laudadale, Florida, who had just relieved
(13:46):
a local bank of forty thousand dollars in cash, returned
to their getaway car and discovered while we've heard this before,
they have locked their keys inside had libbing curiously. The
man returned to the bank and asked to use the
phone all the taxi cab company, which having to have
a car right around the corner. Well, the pair might
have made a clean getaway if they hadn't tried to
stiff the cab driver for the fare.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
At the end of their ride.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
The furious cab he pulled out a pistol and held
them in at gunpoint until the cops showed up. It's
coming about the ordeal man. What a bunch of cheap jerks.
Forty thousand dollars they had in the sack and they
wouldn't even pay a twelve dollars cab fare. Have you got,
dumb crooked news? Send it to dumb crooked news. John
Boyd Billy eight o one wood Ridge Center Drive, Charlotte,
(14:32):
North Carolina two eight.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Two one seven and stay out of the.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Wolves work and we'd appreciated.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Good morning, A big show is on your radio. I
took you.
Speaker 8 (14:44):
I never see that you think like it in my life.
The sudge belly up, this full diverywhere flu it through
the air, run plates and bulls and hands. People eat
it with their figess defeat of the people's feet. It
doesn'telieve it loo with the sprints you get the mentioned
we chicken and biscuits and whole pigs of the green
big stick.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
That's what it's like at the junkpoint your pully picture.
It's a buffet from stuck to finish. There should be
a cover charge. I'll tell you.
Speaker 8 (15:06):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You faint it like cleaning bill over
my head.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
You canna eat that.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Good morning, everybody, got the Big Show on the radio,
which just wrent us away from the stupid queers.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
We will uh, I will play calling him a nine.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
You got a pack of John Obill's beef jerky, bottle
of our grilling sauce. Copy round you Grilling Sauce cookbook
Top second recipes. Alright, now, hang on, you don't play,
We'll do it in minutes. Good Morning, A Big Show
is on your radios. All right, y all this stupid
quiz time. We're playing with the big old prize package.
If you are ready one eight hundred Big Show, you're told,
free line. We'll take caller nine and i'll play next.
(16:42):
Good Morning, a Big Show.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
It's on the radio. Headed tow the bottom of the hour.
Ask me, have you seen Junior's great?
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Alright, some summertime in here.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Let's see who I'm playing against.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It happens to be David from Vicksburg, Mississippi. Good morning, David,
Hey John good Man? You all right today? I'm alright,
dam Dave. You got a touched on the phone, touching number,
trying not to hang up on yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Alright, alright, there you go. You got it down. I
got the bell, and some of you got a lesson playing.
Speaker 9 (17:28):
Let's start with signs.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Let's start with side.
Speaker 9 (17:31):
Which of these places are you most likely to find
a saquaro?
Speaker 1 (17:36):
A saquaro San Francisco. You're thinking of something else?
Speaker 9 (17:44):
All right, it's a a desert, be a forest, or
see a jungle.
Speaker 5 (17:49):
Hmm, yeah, Dave, I wouldn't say a desert, that's right. Player.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
It's a cactus. Yeah, oh, it's a cactus. All right?
About that? It's a quaro? One for David.
Speaker 9 (18:04):
How many grams are there? And four fifths of a kilogram?
Speaker 2 (18:08):
Four fifths the way kilograms?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Fifties? Not right? That was my first guess. Let's say,
killo gram. Let me work this out in my mind.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
That is a thousand, four fifths of a thousand. It'll
be all right if it was five thousand and four
at all. No, I didn't four fifths is like ninety
percent to seem So if.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
You're doing fractions, say four out of five.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
Four out of five, Dennis, Okay, we'll think of it
as packs of sugar.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Let's go fish.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Okay, all right, fish, alright, I got four fists of
one thousand grams of fish.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Nine hundred No, what was it?
Speaker 6 (19:09):
You know?
Speaker 1 (19:12):
Okay, still one and nothing.
Speaker 9 (19:14):
Geography?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Geography.
Speaker 9 (19:16):
Which of these oceans lie between the US and Asia?
Is it A the Indian, be the Atlantic or c
the Pacific Atlantic?
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Atlantic? No? No, no, that's where the hurricanes come off
of Africa Asia?
Speaker 7 (19:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Well, yeah, we'll.
Speaker 5 (19:38):
Get ready for the right.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, we're ready for the right o. Africa and Asia
are two different places. Oh Fineacif that's right, it's a
specific Well, they always end up in Atlantic. You just
needed to be more Pacific. David's up only two to nothing.
Seizure Lesia.
Speaker 9 (20:03):
Here go is Disney's in Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
What kind of animal does the foot still become when
the spell is broken?
Speaker 8 (20:10):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Hello, David?
Speaker 5 (20:19):
That man.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
David a well rounded young man out of Vicksburg, Mississippi.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Yeah, he's seen Beauty and the Beast. Little girl, ain't
one of them on meet it.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Yeah, he asked me a question about uh old brother,
we're art now, hey, we asked.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You a question about fish.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
All right, fine, David, congratulations, buddy, you got the John
Will bit of beef jerky botherby Grilla sauce, tops of
your recipes our cookbook.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
All right, man, thank you, You're very welcome. Hang on,
Jackie gets information while we do a little number. Good morning.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
The big show is on the radio in our classic
bits this week. It's all Randy. We've been pretty pretty
easy on you so far, and we remain that way.
Just highlights of your life. I don't think the wave
is gonna break.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
All right. Back when Randy had problem with the Gerbils,
all right, Gerbils, Oh my god, that was Richard Gear. Yeah, yeah,
I'm sorry. Little chipmunks. Yeah, I'm telling you what they are,
a vicious little critics. Are you afraid of them?
Speaker 5 (21:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
They already bet me once and get those shots. I'm
doing it again. And your hair. He's a Gerbil guy,
so we should be in like Flint. I'm not a
gerful guy.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, hang on, we will relive that and set up
our crocs. Dogger that went to help you out.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
Don't tell everybody you're the guy with a Gerbil in
his house. Not Gerbil, their hamsters whatever. See they're they're
sweet though. Oh I'm againdon gonna go out of them
all right.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Hey go we look at Randy's chipmunks coming up next. Okay,
(22:19):
good morning. The big show was on the radio, right
hit the torn over lye time. Here it's Randy week
when Randy got the chip monks, the jip monks.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, it seems like it was. I don't know how
long ago was it.
Speaker 3 (22:34):
I seem like it was, uh, well, it seems like
it was at least that long ago, back back then
sometime I remember it.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Yeah, like Randy, you had a little run in with
the animal yesterday, didn't you.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
I was attacked in my home. I required medical attention.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Well I'm glad the little chipmunk didn't have to die,
because it turns out what a talented chip monkey is.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And love Sling Blade one of our favorite movies. I
studied on biting you quite a bit.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
It m.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
So what you got good to eat in there?
Speaker 10 (23:06):
Well, sir, we've we've we've got nuts and berries, twigs.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Did you want me to go through the whole menu.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
Reck.
Speaker 10 (23:16):
Well, the the twigs are pretty good French rod twigs, Yes, sir, firm.
Well the the small order is fifty five and the
large order is a dollar.
Speaker 4 (23:29):
We cannot have me. Some of the beacons.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Go call alone.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
I playing contry.
Speaker 5 (23:37):
J D. Shell Nuts. I stand on the here but
not four three.
Speaker 4 (23:49):
And then by that kind of off center like in portrait.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
You know, I think we need to practice. We need
to we.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
Don't need to practice.
Speaker 11 (24:00):
Y't anch of lois, I don't say something.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Medicine an ambulance and a hurst ready hate you?
Speaker 5 (24:15):
I ain't you doing you something?
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Beats no, no, I love you, mama, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
They craze to chipmunk.
Speaker 5 (24:27):
If I don't shut up, I'm gonna go out of
my mind.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Good morning, It's a Big Show on the radio. Looking
toward uh top of the hour.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Here as we wind up today's broadcast, check from emails
from the Big Show dot com. All right, from Tina Welch.
My name is Kaitlin Welch. I'm a second grader at
Gary Road Elementary School in Byron, Mississippi. I had to
do a report on a famous American and I wanted
to report on you. Huh wow, man, I need some
(25:18):
information about you. I would like to know where were
you born Alamess County Hospital, Graham, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Who's your favorite race car driver? I have a lot
of them. He likes to play the field.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
What is your favorite color blue? How did you get
started in radio business? Stupid people around me?
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:39):
Hold that she's probably in school right now. I probably
couldn't take all that down to see from Brad Miller.
Nice website. I'm listening at work. Heard people writing in
about your revised website, so I had to check it out.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
It looks good.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
As usual, anything affiliated with the Big Show was first rate.
Enjoyed the show keeping up Llaya listener since Gionbore and
Billy got together in the early eighties. Thank you very
I've been with us for a long time.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
See.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I was listening to y'all show this morning while driving
from one base to another. And we'll to say how
much I appreciate your spotlight of our service members.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
These guys are.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So far from home and gone for so long that
any little touch of home makes a difference, and you
may rest assure that it's a positive difference. Each one involved.
Most of his or her friends will have a warm
spot to hold over several days, maybe even several weeks. Right, Yeah,
you're right, Charles Gilworth.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
Thank you very much. Charles, is our honor and our pleasure.
I'm glad we were able to do that.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
One more from Megan. Hey, my name's Meghan. I listened
to your show almost every morning while getting ready for school.
My broadcasting class went on a field trip and one
of the places we visited was the place where you
guys do your show. Unfortunately, we didn't get to meet
you because you guys were, of course working, but we
did see you through the big window from the booth
next to you. Anyway, I have three questions I would
(26:50):
like to ask. One, what is up with the pants
John Boy was wearing.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Imagine carpet perfectly.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
We were all pretty confused and we couldn't exactly figure
out what the pattern on them was. The only thing
we did agree on about them is that they most
definitely did not match his shirt. Yeah, those are the
pants that match the carpet, right, if y'all want to.
When entering the building, we noticed that both John Boy
and Billy have reserved parking spaces complete with spiffy signs
with their names on them. Who drives a car that
(27:19):
was parked next to John Boy? That thing was sweet?
That was Randy's Akira? So so is Randy so sweet?
Speaker 4 (27:28):
What was that?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Did you put that together yourself?
Speaker 11 (27:31):
Einstein?
Speaker 1 (27:32):
But he got a team of monkeys working around the
clock on us. We got to go with the bosses.
Here was that famous? All right? Let's get it money
Big boxes.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
Here all your favorites from four decades of The Big
Show ninety nine since each fifteen for.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Nine ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
You can shop at the Big Box online right now
at the Big Show dot.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Com or a Big Show stuff by phone.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Enemy dot com.
Speaker 11 (27:56):
If you missed any of The Big Show this morning,
you can hear now the John Boy Bill, a late.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Risers podcast up next.
Speaker 11 (28:03):
Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy, subscribe to
us with the free I Heart Radio out see you tomorrow,
We love you, We meet it
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Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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