February 12, 2025 • 49 mins
Wednesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, Marci looks into the Hollywood scene with this weeks edition of Tatertainment News.. - Valentine’s Day are always huge at JD’s 24-Hour Stores we’ve got the details on this year’s sale.. - A bowlegged woman makes out date in history after almost making off with a pre-flat-screen color TV.. - We’re inching our way to the Daytona 500 - we’ll look back to the trip John Boy took with his butler.. - Marci learns that catchphrases are harder to come up with than they look.. - We fill a request for the longest Playhouse in the history of the show, clocking in at a full 10-minutes, it’s “The Challenge of the Fruits”.. - and Oliver offers some Valentine’s Day cards for the discontented…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, we are sauhs a diant Coca Cola for mister
William like Cadbury and sweets for the sweet a room temperature.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
You who for the yahoos?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You're the man Canster, Yes, sir, I suppose I.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Am well man.
Speaker 5 (00:16):
How do you like Daytona?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Well?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The possible exceptions of the heat, the humidity, of the noise,
and you all's fans.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That seems to be a veritable garden spot.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
I knew you love a cadboo.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Don't worry, they're spunky. We only got one more hour
left on this autograph signing and you're off the clock.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Then I shall retire to my lodging at the lovely
Adams Mark Hotel and finish reading Les Misra.
Speaker 6 (00:40):
Hello Boying, I believe that's pronounced Less Miserables.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
My mistake's Boying.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Indeed, excuse me there, mister book of the month. If
you and the penguin are done, the lae's kind of
back in a sorry billy dang.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Pins dry Cadbury pin. Now your shop is uh Cadbury.
Here you go, little baby Doc.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You will thanks so you're Cadbury. I heard about you
on the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Good evening, Madam.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You're kind of cute.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
Catberry looks like somebody sweet on you.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Can I have your autograph?
Speaker 7 (01:19):
Cadbury?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Well, I'm only the butler, Madam. I'm really not worthy
of signing.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
A cat Cadbury. Please please, It's part of the game.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Just sign the autograph.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Wire you working for me, Cadbury.
Speaker 8 (01:31):
You're in a spotlight. It's part of being with a
big show. Soak up the love, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Oh, well, I guess an autograph wouldn't hurt all right, Madam,
I would be honored.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Where shall I sign?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Either one is fine? The lancha ahead there staring at you.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Cadbury.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Hummaa hummaa Hummadama hummada.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
He's sharing right big.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
There's plenty around, madam.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Will will you kindly free holster your bosom?
Speaker 9 (02:03):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Would you rather sign my other end?
Speaker 10 (02:07):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm so drunk.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I'd have signed neither your Dairya nor your bust is substance?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Good evening, Madam, Catbar Are you crazy? You might never
get that sort of chance again.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Come on, it's like a shot. Just get it over with.
I conscious there's an extra hundred bucks in it for you.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh, it's not the money side. What is it. I
can't keep my head from shaking.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, I remember my first time too, madam.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Could you please stop jiggling you mean giggling that too?
Speaker 8 (02:39):
Here, drink this a little liquid curage that's pretty big glass, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I wouldn't normally say this, but good idea, sir.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh, I like where this is gone?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Oh yeah, ah, alright.
Speaker 11 (02:54):
There, thanks Catberry.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Not you made me not not so fast.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Let me just dart this out.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Hey, there's no iron, can't bury.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
There is no.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Come down.
Speaker 10 (03:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I rather enjoyed signing.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Brest is so.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And how about you, madam?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
And you and.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You you you madam begging your pardon, mister smarty Marty.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Perhaps a tight fitting T shirt is not appropriate?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Well, ah see, it's all fun and games till somebody
gets hurt.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We better get you out of here before something happens.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I mind, I tell you what the hell I.
Speaker 9 (03:44):
Want to know?
Speaker 5 (03:45):
You're foreigner the road on my girlfriends love billows too late, I.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Am, they were to weep it small, so I.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Had to write Lewercase feeling left outside.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Here you go, son of the club.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Who's next?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
He walk?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Whether don't hurt him?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Come on?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
He didn't know what he's doing.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
It's all right, I've got this one coming and it
was worthy. Then you back to try truck give out
hour plenty left over.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Look at him. We're passing him around like some redneck
marsh pill. This is terrible.
Speaker 8 (04:31):
You're telling me he's gonna get me another You who Randy?
Speaker 10 (04:36):
You who.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Body?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Madam?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
That was an accident.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Uh yeah, we'll leaving leaving him at home.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
Let's play beating the blond y'all one eight hundred Big Show.
You told free line across America. We'll get a contestant
and pla ain't Next Wednesday morning, there's a Big Show
(05:29):
on the radio. We got our feature track from the
Big Show bid box Oliver Valentine's Day cards for the discontented.
There's for keywords cards hit the Big Box at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
There right now, it's time or beat the blood.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
Every day of the time you're gonna be around a
radio you'd like to play, well, come on to the
on air button at the Big Show dot Com. Tyler
from vince Own, North Carolina is on the line.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Good morning, Tyler, Good morning, John Boy, Billy, no.
Speaker 7 (06:06):
Buddy, all right, my boy, We're gonna ask Tatter some questions.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
You agree or disagree?
Speaker 7 (06:12):
Tyler, get two bells before two buzzers, and you went
all right?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
All right, Marcy and Greek mythology.
Speaker 7 (06:22):
We were talking about Cupan this week since Valentine's Day
is coming up. Yes, how did that legendary strong man
Hercules finally die?
Speaker 9 (06:33):
Probably from a double hernia.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Hercules if they've lifted on that heavy.
Speaker 9 (06:40):
Quake, I guess, but I don't think it was written
in mythology. He drowned.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
He drowned, Hercules drowned in Greek mythology, Tyler, agree or disagreed?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Disagree with that?
Speaker 4 (06:55):
And that was the thing to do.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Yes, Uh, he was wearing a sh shirt that was
poisoned with the blood of a centaur, not in the
pictures that I.
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Have wearing a shirt and he put her shirt on.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
All right, what is a centaur? Maybe? Well, looked at
a half man, half horse.
Speaker 7 (07:18):
Ah, that's it with the blood, all right, Okay, don't mind.
That was a bell for you, Tyler. One more and
you win my right tighter. Doctors recommend older people should
eat more slowly than younger people.
Speaker 9 (07:37):
Why so they don't swallow their teeth so they don't
choke John boys.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
So they don't choke Tyler. Agree or disagree with the
old elderly. I'm sorry, what I'm gona have to agree
with that one? You do agree? Huh wow.
Speaker 7 (08:09):
One of the things that comes with age. Elderly people
are more likely than joke. So slow down, chew that food. Yeah,
and Tyler, you hang right down, buddy, Jack can hook
you up with a big old prize back.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Congratulations. All right, give a shout out here, you go ahead.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I'd love to give a shout out to my granddad,
Craig Guthrie. Make sure you see your suits on.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Tyler.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Good word, buddy, hang on, fine, we're jumping out. Let's
catch you up on your news. Right on the other side,
we're talking about dayton about a top ten featuring Taynor
and Daytone.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
All right, good morning, it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 10 (09:29):
All right.
Speaker 7 (09:30):
I found out how says on the five went with
me and Cadbury when the Big Show crew broadcasting down
there until a few years ago with the top ten
list featuring our girl Taylor.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
All right, daggd Billy, here they are from the Home office.
The top ten proposed daytona catchphrases for the big shows.
Marcy number ten, get off me?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Will you number nine?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Some unlock this thing and let me out. Number eight.
My eyes are up here. Number seven. No, I don't
have change for one hundred. Number six. Why don't you
make me? Number five stop? I'm about to throw up.
(10:25):
Number four. I've got pepper spray back off Jack. Number three,
very funny, Randy, Now give me back my shirt. Number two. No, no,
I can't do anything with goofy watching me and the
number one Marcy daytona catchphrase, I said, get off me.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Let's say which once he uses the most. Good luck
with all that.
Speaker 7 (10:59):
Good morning, You've got the big showing the radio coming
up in twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
What to watch it? Right now? It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well, well, well, it's that time of year again. Spring
is about to be sprung. Love is in the air,
and a woman's fancy turns to thoughts of how she's
going to soak her man out of every spare diamon
in his pocket. That's right, it's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day
(11:40):
is a scam, a holiday created by and for women,
just like every other holiday. Why if there's a chance
to score some sort of gift by merely turning the
calendar page. Brother, you can bet your sweet life a
(12:00):
woman will find it. She can't get inside your head,
so she does the next best thing. She gets into
your wallet. And it's painful to say, but the depth
of her love is only as deep as your pockets.
(12:22):
And Valentine's Day is the perfect example why time was
a beautiful card with thoughts of it deepest love and
devotion would bring a tear to her beautiful eyes. But today,
if you give her just a card, there'll be no tears,
(12:43):
whether it's hallmarker or not. Her eyes will only show
the fires of unspeakable rage and seething hatred for all
things men, and they'll be staring right at you. It
used to be that a single simple red rose was
a blessed gesture of honest, heartfelt emotion that said I
(13:06):
love you. Now all it says is I'm a cheap,
good for nothing sob who never gave a tinker's damn
about you, and who no doubt gave the remaining eleven
roses to my other women, who, by the way, also
think I'm a cheap loser and a smelly so and
(13:29):
so are the language of flowers, sweets for the sweet.
Once upon a time a box of delicious gourmet candy
was the perfect key to your darling's heart. But now
you're just trying to make her fat, fat and unattractive,
(13:54):
even more than she is right now. And if you
don't give her care, and then you must think she's
too fat already. And as much as you try to explain,
you can't win. So don't even try. Just nod and
say you're right, you are too fat. She's gonna clabber
(14:19):
you one way or the other. You might as well
get a chuckle out of it. Nowadays women want the
world diamond tennis bracelets, Caribbean cruises and sports cars. It's
what those stupid television commercials have led her to expect,
always showing guys ten times better looking than you, lavishing
(14:42):
expensive gifts on girls you'll never be able to get.
The difference is as you stare at your television, you
realize that what you're looking at is pure fiction because
you're a man. But as she lays there on the sofa,
(15:04):
like she does most of the day every day, wearing
those same old sweatpants with the thighs worn thin by
numerous trips to the refrigerator, her hair a massive matted
rat's nest, and the smoldering filter of her fifty third
cigarette of the morning hanging from the corner of her
(15:27):
cracked lips. She watches the exact same commercial you saw,
but she sees the two of you, and if he
can give those sports cars and cruises and bracelets to her,
you should be able to do it too. Welcome to
(15:49):
the warped, delusional mind of every woman in the world.
So men, do yourself a favor, not only this valance
times day, but every holiday. Call her bluff, ignore her,
give her nothing, not even the time of day, or
(16:12):
she'll be upset, perhaps even angry, possibly violent. Maybe she'll
even leave. But, as the old saying goes, if you
love something, set it free. If it comes back to you,
think of the money you've saved. And if it doesn't return,
(16:34):
you'll have absolutely no problem replacing that greedy, loud mouthed,
trouble making old bag with another one, exactly like.
Speaker 7 (16:52):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio,
More chances you to win coming up after your news
wedter in sports.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Oh oh, I didn't.
Speaker 11 (17:00):
Know, I didn't see you.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
This is Professor Mermyn Hanna Day, head of hey ah oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 9 (17:19):
Yo.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
When I say there will be history, I didn't mean
to apply a negati give. I simply meant that they they.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Good one?
Speaker 7 (18:04):
And it's a big show on the radio on the
Daytona five hundred is this Sunday and we're going back. Man,
we're looking in a Daytona file. We have got a
lot of memories down there, like when we were watching
Dale Earnhart try to win the Daytona five hundred. He
(18:27):
tried nineteen times while before he could win the big race,
And man, what did you talk about? Some fun right there?
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Sure had it?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
And then Heart and Agnior Nation band this song in
honor of number.
Speaker 12 (18:44):
Three, Well I wrote a little dudey gonna sing it
(19:05):
till they break up day not the twenty four fans
ain't got nothing to say. Roll over Daytona. Earn Hard
won today. You know, my temperatures rising because my girlfriend's
had her a few earn Hart's back and we're all
(19:30):
done singing the blues. Yeah a roll over Daytona and
tell Jeff Gordon the news. I got the rocking New
Moon and the three car just can't lose. You have
a man in black that's playing two rave reviews A
(19:52):
rollver Daytona.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Where do y'all.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
Keep the bood?
Speaker 12 (19:57):
Well, if you came too stuck up? What do some
shooters and load up? Picked up and go to Hooters
and eat some hog wags. They're really hardy. They good buddy,
and it's kind of party. Roll over Daytona and tell
young Jiffy the news. Oh early in the morning, I'm
(20:35):
giving you the waning. Don't your puke on my good
rich shoes. The man in blackness back on track. He's
got the twenty four fans confused A roll over Daytona
and tail all Garden and neighs. You know, as fast
as light and nobody can explain. There ain't no doubt
(20:58):
about it. Barn Hard is the main. Yeah, John, here
he comes and he's headed fall Victory Lane. Come on,
Roll over Daytona, run Over Daytona, run Over Daytona, run
over Daytona, run Over Daytona. Tam Jeff Gordon and Ears.
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Good morning, I got a big show on the radio
coming up. We play Wordy word winner gets an assortment
of small batch hand cook peanuts from burn Tea County Peanuts,
a Southern tradition for over one hundred years. Just En
Heer code JB be a checkout. You'll get twenty five
percent off plus free shipping and shop online by clicking
on the leak at the Big Show dot com take
(21:52):
you right over to Burnt County Peanuts dot new. Hang on,
you can win them in minutes. Now it's Tom for
Taylor Tayman News and here's our girl, mar More.
Speaker 9 (22:06):
I appreciate it. So we're still talking about football stuff.
And I don't know if you saw it, but Taylor
Swift apparently was booed at the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
I only saw her like one time, all the camera.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
I think the booing happened for just those folks who
were in the stadium. I don't think it was broadcast.
I think that we all just saw her. You heard it,
I like while the was while the football game was happening,
or did you go back and watch.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And I think it was mentioned in the course of
the covering of.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
The Okay because I think, I mean, I've seen it,
but it was from you know, people who had their
phones and cameras and stuff like that. But I don't know, you.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Could be right.
Speaker 9 (22:39):
But anyway, Taylor, there must have been a lot of
Eagles fans at the game because when they showed Taylor
up on the Jubbo Jumbo tron and they were shown
there were a lot of celebrities there, but they showed
her and when she did, all the booze just came
flowing in and it kind of shocked her. She you
kind of kind of see her, she just does a
little side eye like, oh, they're showing me and no,
those are all booze. She was sitting next to wrapper
(23:01):
Ice Spice, and then she just kind of cracked a smile,
you know, just kind of was like so she rolled
with it, rolled with it well. And Serena Williams went
on X and wrote, I love you Taylor Swift thirteen.
Don't listen to those booze, Taylor. So Serena stuck up
for her, and then Serena was also in the halftime show.
Jackie mentioned that according to Sporting News, why was Serena there,
(23:25):
That's the question kind of like, what did that mean? Well,
she and Kendrick Lamar are both from Compton, their icons
from the town, and she had dated Drake between twenty
eleven twenty fifteen, supposedly still friends, but could that be
so interesting?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
She did the.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
Crip walk, which was that little dance that she was
doing during the Not Like Us track, which just happens
to be the one that the two rappers are beefing
about where he mentions Drake. So, I don't know that
we're supposed to get it, But I guess who was
supposed to get it got it? I don't, So I'm
answering that for Jackie.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Why was Sarrina in it?
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Yeah, you're welcome, all right, y'all heard about the Fired
the Fire aid benefit concert that happened to raise money
for the folks out in California. Well, the concert is
available to stream on demand, Netflix, Apple TV YouTube, and
Amazon Prime Video will all offer the six hour concert
for the remainder of this year, so you can take that.
In the city of Miami Beach has issued a PSA
(24:26):
to college students. What's the psa? Don't come here to
party over spring Bright. It's a ninety second video which
warns spring breakers of an increased police presence enforcing curfews,
DUI checkpoints, and bands on drinking in public, including the
beach bummerdu So. The crackdowns start this month and continue
(24:47):
through March. I needed to get that in there, Tom, Brady, Tom,
it was insufferable. I don't know. I guess the fans
who love Brady love Brady. But I was like, shut
up Tom during the oh my, during the broadcast, I
was like, talk about what just happened on the field.
I was tired of him reminiscing about his day.
Speaker 7 (25:06):
That's what a lot of people have said. You know,
he needs to be quiet a little bit.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
I don't know if the producers is in his ear going.
Speaker 13 (25:14):
Tell us more about you.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I think everyone loves it.
Speaker 9 (25:17):
Maybe they were. You've won so many Super Bowls. Tell
us how that was. But his old wife, I mean
his ex wife, old and like past wife, she gave birth. Yeah,
she just had her first child with her boyfriend, Joaquim Valente.
According to TMZ, she's forty four years old and the
baby is healthy and great, but yeah, she's ELL's moved on.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
How many Brady and her have couple?
Speaker 12 (25:43):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (25:44):
I think they have one and he had one from before. Yeah,
with a girlfriend. Ozzy Osborne will join the original members
of the heavy metal band Black Sabbath for one final concert.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
What if Oz had it in him?
Speaker 9 (25:57):
He's seventy six years old, not in the best of health.
He recently needed spinal surgery which was complicated by his
Parkinson's disease. But the concert is schedule for July, and
you can get your tickets online for the Black Sabbath
final concert. All right, all right, if you have time,
I have won more.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
Jessica Alba, you remember her actress, She was the invisible woman,
beautiful girl, but you always are a part of the time.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
She filed for.
Speaker 9 (26:27):
Divorce on Friday from her husband, Cash Warren. Why is
this big news? Well, the split is said to be
extremely amicable, with TMZ reports that when they wed in
two thousand and eight. Yeah, Jessica didn't demand us to
sign a pre mum. He didn't ask her to sign one,
and she didn't ask him. Her Honest Company, which all
the folks out there who have babies are familiar with.
Honest makes a lot of baby things and is natural.
(26:51):
That is the value of six hundred and twenty three
million dollars. But Cash Warren, he co founded an underwear
and sock company and that's worth one hundred million dollars.
So everybody's gonna get hacked. I guess it's gonna be okay,
all right, all.
Speaker 7 (27:07):
Right, we'll keep you out on that for us, the
good job. All right, Well, let's get us a winner.
Let's play worthy word all y'all, here we go for
the Big Old Bird team Count of Peanuts, Package one
eight hundred, Big show you told free Lite, get a
couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Good morning.
Speaker 7 (27:47):
That's a big show on AL Radio for your Wednesday,
February twelve, Olivers our feature track for the Big Show,
vent Box Valentine's Day Cards for the discontentent betting that category.
We'll find out before we get out of here.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Right now, Let's what I had everybody's head.
Speaker 7 (28:08):
I buy the Bad Little Birdie anywhere.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Let's meet the contestants.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Man in the wind went.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
We got Jay from Kingwood, Texas. Good morning, Jane, Good morning, eybody.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
And we got Terry from Taxworth, Georgia. Good morning, Terry,
good morning, good morning.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
There's James, Texas.
Speaker 10 (28:30):
Jay.
Speaker 7 (28:30):
That's Terry from Georgia. Y'all gonna play each other. One
of you gonna win.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Hey, all right, Tayter and Terry. It just sounds good
together done, get.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
It done, hey, Terry, John.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Sorry John boyd over your.
Speaker 9 (28:49):
Hey, Yeah, well who shocked anyone?
Speaker 7 (28:53):
Tear you and Taylor relaxed? He give you all a
chance to watch me and Jay? All right, Hey you ready, Boddy,
I'm ready. All right, let's see what we can do.
Then start the clock now like it's like a little
rundown house the love blank Yes, uh huh. Put that
(29:16):
in your blank and smoke it right, yes, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Give me a.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
Blank for the newspaper. They want me to say something.
Want to be able to blank me for the story? Uh?
Speaker 4 (29:29):
You do air blanks?
Speaker 7 (29:31):
When you say I'm wonderful, you can't see my air quotes?
Speaker 4 (29:35):
A let's say that quote? Go ahead? You doing this
as man?
Speaker 7 (29:43):
Jay? I kept talking and I said quote, Were you
close to quote?
Speaker 4 (29:48):
And anything? Jay's just oh no, no, no, yeah, all right.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
So we gave Terry one and we got two. So uh,
let's see what happened after this round one. We'll allow
them out.
Speaker 9 (30:02):
You ready, Terry, Yes, sir, and go Shirley Temple had
a lot of these in her hair. Yes, uh you
you you you need a psychic to look into the
what not the present?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (30:16):
Uh you say when you rise, you say good blank,
it's yeah, hey blak, we do I want you to
tell me something, but not right now. I'll say, hey, blank,
need to tell you something I don't know me.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (30:35):
No, it's like in your head. You have to you
you remember that is the buzzer.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
All right?
Speaker 7 (30:42):
Thank you did put a three on that one, so
a total of four after round one. Jay, we are
behind my two. But we can remedy that right now.
All right, Okay, it sounds looks good on paper. All right,
So Jay, we're picking up on that last word. Okay,
all right, start the clock now, all right now?
Speaker 4 (31:05):
Blank me what you said? I forgot?
Speaker 7 (31:07):
Blank me later remind blank me almost say the word
or not. I'm just set here whatever. Report, don't let
me forget be shut up.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
I've tried that.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
Set one of these on your calendar. It'll tell you
to do something. A This is a tough one.
Speaker 7 (31:37):
Remind was the word? Remind about blurting that one out?
Speaker 9 (31:42):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (31:43):
Terry from Chatsworth, Georgia, winds or Janie, we stink together.
Let's try something, buddy, but you can drag it anytime,
my boy.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
All right, wait, apreci at you playing? What is that?
King Wood and Tear.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
Hey, you get the Bertee County Peanuts prize package you
enjoy for your victory.
Speaker 9 (32:06):
Son.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
You're welcome.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
I betman.
Speaker 7 (32:13):
Morning got to make showing the radio. Yeah, moving on
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
What y'all gonna do? Let you do that remind me later?
Speaker 9 (32:22):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (32:25):
Classic bit request Richard Hood out of Lexington, South Carolina.
Richard says, could you play the Challenge of the Fruit
to play house? Long time listener, first time Facebook messenger,
Ah Richard at work, Buddy, we got it coming up next.
(33:05):
Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
When a bit requests, good way to get you one
on the airs, hit the sump of the John Boy
and Belly Facebook page any time, dovers a line in
the mailbag and the Big Show dot com. Richard Hood,
long time listen, run of Lexington, South Carolina, Get your requests.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Challenge of the Fruits. As our story opens, John Boy
and Billy Coby Bunny and Jeff Pillars are standing at
the edge of the thick tropical jungle of a small
uncharted island in the South Pacific.
Speaker 14 (33:46):
Bellers you stirbing, Hey, John Bo, I'm going to South
Pacific the scout locations for the John Boy and Billy movie.
You and Cobby are to come with me to be
great dangerous Nah, what could happen? Why am I sounding
like Hillary co?
Speaker 2 (34:02):
A plane crash could happen? Steven? Shut up, idiots. This
is unbelievable.
Speaker 10 (34:09):
Yankee.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
I don't want to hear from you either. You know,
it's not like I planned this.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
You're the one that said I want to do a
jungle move that movie in the Jungle Feelings.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I want monkeys and pair jackass.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Wow, we got caught in the typhoon.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's called an accident.
Speaker 8 (34:27):
Yeah, well, Rayford says, there's no such thing as accidents.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Yeah, this is what I call a roll.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Screw up.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Shut up, Junior Samples. Stick a quarter in your buddy.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Quiet.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Takes one to know one.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Hey, guys, let's not turn this say to the Lord
of the flies. Here, I mean, at least we're alive.
I think the first thing we gotta do is find
some food.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
You really think there's anything to eat around here?
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Well, sure, there's probably all kinds of tropical fruits and
stuff growing wild.
Speaker 13 (34:56):
You mean out in the jungle. No, keep an eye
for a quick mark with a deli counter. Of course,
I'm in a juggle, you idiot.
Speaker 8 (35:03):
It was probably crawling with all kind of bugs and
stuff and bees, probably more African.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Well, let's see, Billy, you must be the professor. I'm
a skipper. Commy's gilligan because John Boy is merrying. It's
a jungle. Of course there's bugs and stuff.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
You moron, Are you all going to fart around here
all day?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Or we're gonna go get some kneed? Well, I hate
to say it, but he's right. Let's do it. Say
we ought to split up. We can cover more ground
that way. Split up.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
What if we run into something dangerous.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Like what ulla bull w bull?
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Like that fours them find themselves surrounded by a group
of angry looking tribesmen with razor sharp spears.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
I this is not good. Oh in Baid, our sacred island.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Hey, you speak English.
Speaker 10 (36:04):
Of course, many years ago one of our tribesmen went
to school in America. He brought back much knowledge of
your land.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
That accent you got sounds like you went to Pensacola barbers.
Speaker 10 (36:18):
Islence waters face. You have polluted our sacred island with
your presence.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Off with their heads.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Wait wait, wait, we didn't mean to come here.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
It was an accident.
Speaker 10 (36:30):
Chief, There are no accidents, fruit head, There are only
screw ups.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Say I told.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You shut up?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Copy you want to get us killed?
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Chief, I listen. We mean your people look disrespect. Can't
you you know what's the word for that? Give us
a break.
Speaker 10 (36:52):
There is one possibility. I will let you live if
you pass the challenge of the fruit, A.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Boy boy, challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
Well, what's that, pillers?
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Sounds like a prison island. The challenge of the fruits,
I don't know. I wish Randy was here. Sounds like
something he'd be pretty good at.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Well, you know, we don't seem to have a whole
lot of other choices here, guys. Okay, Chief, what's the
challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Each of you must go into the jungle, pick some
of the native fruit, bring it back here. Then I
don't explain the challenge, aren't you los?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
His last movie, The foursome, each head off in a
different direction. Five minutes later, Billy is the first to return.
Are you hitting on me?
Speaker 10 (37:49):
You have chosen one of our native banana.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, So what's the challenge of the fruit?
Speaker 10 (37:58):
You must take the fruit that you have chosen. Uh
huh and stick it where the song does not shine. No, boy,
if you do it, we will let you live. But
I must warn you if you cry out in pain,
we will chop off your head. Are you ready?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Go ahead and chop off my head, because when I
think about all the crap I'd have to take from
the other guys when I get back to civilization, I
think I'd rather just get it over with quick.
Speaker 10 (38:28):
As you wish.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Pof with his head.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
The heavy stone blade severs Billy's head from his body.
At that moment, Jeff Pillars returns from the jungle.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Oh there goes the sequel days, Louise, that was quick.
Did he fail the challenge? You might say that, I
think I just did say that fruit. What fruit did
you bring? I don't know, some kind of big pomegranate
looking things.
Speaker 10 (39:01):
Very well, then here's the challenge from the chief, the
challenge of the fruits. You must take the fruit you
have chosen and stick it where the sun does not shine.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
If you do it, let you live.
Speaker 10 (39:18):
But if you cry out in pain, we will chop
off your head.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
You pull on my leg? You get that spirit, I'd
slept it all right.
Speaker 13 (39:31):
I knew I should have hung out with a castle
more when I was doing dinner theater back in a seventies.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Okay, Chuck will stand by. Here goes nothing.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Pillars takes the big pomegranate looking thing and tries to well,
you know, come on, baby.
Speaker 10 (39:50):
Come on baby.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
If I could just relax, I could loosen up.
Speaker 10 (39:55):
A little bit, you might have passed the prostrate test.
If you have failed the challenge of the fruit, to
kill me.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
The stone axe falls again, and pillar As follows Billy
into oblivion. At that moment, John Boy returns from his
hunting trip.
Speaker 5 (40:24):
Hey man, what the pillars?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Billy?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 10 (40:29):
Shut. Maybe their friends have failed. Are you ready for
the challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 5 (40:37):
If they fail? What kind of chance do I have?
We have this thing called the stupid quiz back home.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
But never mind. Okay, Chief, what's the challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 10 (40:47):
You must take the fruit you have chosen and stick
it where the sun does not shine. No, no, really,
and all of those birds and animals back there, they
will be able to see it. If you are here,
what you're doing, we live. If you cry out in pain,
(41:08):
we will chop off your ahead.
Speaker 14 (41:10):
But I brought back a bunch of little bitty berries.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
How in the world am I gonna.
Speaker 10 (41:18):
One at the time?
Speaker 5 (41:20):
Oh boy, okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
The berries begin to disappear into John Boys. Well you know,
oh man.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
This is gross.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
At least they're small berries.
Speaker 6 (41:36):
Just okay, I see just a just a few more.
Speaker 10 (41:56):
Laugh, you have failed the challenge of the fruits off
with his head.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
The stone axe swings down a third time, in John
Boy's head, fast to the ground. A few minutes later,
at the entrance to the Pearly gates.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
So did a hurt when the chapter head off?
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Well not really, it was you know, it was over
so quick. I really didn't feel anything.
Speaker 13 (42:22):
Yeah, lucky you let me tell you. I said that pomegranate.
I wish I think going a quick one in the
neck like you did.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Hey, hey, look there comes John Boy.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Hey stooping over here. Hey guys, what's with you?
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Man?
Speaker 2 (42:36):
What you made I mean, we're watching you from up here.
I had a piece of fruit the size of a baseball.
You had a handful of tiny little berries, so I
could be a freaked out like that.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
Wait, man, I was.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
Going good, pretty good there for a while.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
You know, got in my rhythm, you know, Kevin, just
this move. You know you gotta go slow to go fast.
I know, I saw right get on with it.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
But then I was down.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Like to my very last berry.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
And then it happened.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
What happened.
Speaker 5 (42:59):
I looked up and saw Copy coming down to jungle
with a pineapple.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
We hope you will enjoyed, John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
There goes the other sequel.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Next time we will hear crusty old Saint Peter say.
Speaker 5 (43:19):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 7 (43:47):
Good morning and make Jean's on the radio building you
John Bone brother Valentine's apple, and I gotta have this
Oliver out of the mid box keyword cards.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Here is Oliver.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Well well will old man Winter seems to have finally
packed it in for the year. The mercury is beginning
to crawl northward on the old thermometer, and the buds
are starting to wink at the coming spring sun. For men,
that means the Super Bowl is over, the NBA Playoffs
(44:26):
are on the horizon, and the NASCAR season is upon us.
For women, it signals the coming of the yearly celebration
of their lifelong torment of the male species, the day
they cackle self contentedly over their domination and manipulation of
the average joe. Men call it just another phony, blooney
(44:49):
holiday concocted on her behalf to get you to shell
out even more of your hard earned money on worthless
crap to prove that you love her. Women call Valentine's Day.
Perhaps the worst aspect of Valentine's Day is the tradition
of the card. It's always sappy, syrupy drivel that can
(45:12):
you can barely read without lapsing into a diabetic coma,
filled with verse that no straight man would ever say. Oh,
and don't dare try to tickle her non existent funny
bone with a humorous card, or you'll be slapped with
the old You think our love is one big joke,
don't you accusation Trying to make amends for a stunt
(45:36):
like that will make the money you spent on Valentine's
Day look like chump change, but from a man's perspective,
the only one that actually matters. Wouldn't it be nice
if someone felt our pain and created greeting cards that
really expressed how we truly feel instead of how she
wanted us to feel. Well, look no further. Feel free
(46:01):
to jot these down of loving beauty. You float with
grace if only you could hide your face. Love may
be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I slept with
your sister because I felt dis Roses are red, violets
(46:23):
are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But
the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, and the
sugar bowls empty, just like your head, kind, intelligent, loving
and heart. This describes everything that you are not. I
(46:47):
love your face, your smile, your eyes, but your bo's
good for killing flies. Thanks for choosing me above all
other suitors. I just wish you didn't have those lopsided hooters.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife. Marrying you sure
(47:10):
screwed up my life. When you appear, the birdies all chirpie.
If only they knew that you had hurpies? What's everybody
looking at? I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. Loving you takes
(47:35):
my breath away. How much did you say you weigh?
My feelings for you? No words can tell except for
maybe go to hell. When I think of your love,
I can only sigh. That is till I think of
your damn lazy eye, Oliver. Sometimes I tickle myself. Your
(48:06):
love is the greatest invention since the Clapper. But just
this one time, could you shut your big yapper? What
inspired loves? Amorous?
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Rhyme?
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Two parts vodka, one pot line? And if my missus
is listening, snookie woocoms, you know that this is just
a big show bit, because if not, I'm in real
deep trouble. Well, not all poetry has to rhyme, you know,
(48:39):
at least that's what my little angel angel says. And
why would she lie about something like that? Happy Valentine's Dada.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Get it.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Big boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine, by the month, play them anywhere. You can
shop the bid bogs online right now at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
Order a Big Show stuff I phone.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online Services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 7 (49:10):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Boremilly Lighton Risers
podcast up next. Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy.
Subscribe to us with a free I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Love you mean It
Yeah, we are sauhs a diant Coca Cola for mister
William like Cadbury and sweets for the sweet a room temperature.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
You who for the yahoos?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
All right?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You're the man Canster, Yes, sir, I suppose I.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Am well man.
Speaker 5 (00:16):
How do you like Daytona?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Well?
Speaker 1 (00:18):
The possible exceptions of the heat, the humidity, of the noise,
and you all's fans.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
That seems to be a veritable garden spot.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
I knew you love a cadboo.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Don't worry, they're spunky. We only got one more hour
left on this autograph signing and you're off the clock.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Then I shall retire to my lodging at the lovely
Adams Mark Hotel and finish reading Les Misra.
Speaker 6 (00:40):
Hello Boying, I believe that's pronounced Less Miserables.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
My mistake's Boying.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Indeed, excuse me there, mister book of the month. If
you and the penguin are done, the lae's kind of
back in a sorry billy dang.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
Pins dry Cadbury pin. Now your shop is uh Cadbury.
Here you go, little baby Doc.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
You will thanks so you're Cadbury. I heard about you
on the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Good evening, Madam.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
You're kind of cute.
Speaker 5 (01:14):
Catberry looks like somebody sweet on you.
Speaker 4 (01:17):
Can I have your autograph?
Speaker 7 (01:19):
Cadbury?
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Well, I'm only the butler, Madam. I'm really not worthy
of signing.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
A cat Cadbury. Please please, It's part of the game.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Just sign the autograph.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Wire you working for me, Cadbury.
Speaker 8 (01:31):
You're in a spotlight. It's part of being with a
big show. Soak up the love, ma'am.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Oh, well, I guess an autograph wouldn't hurt all right, Madam,
I would be honored.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Where shall I sign?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Either one is fine? The lancha ahead there staring at you.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Cadbury.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Hummaa hummaa Hummadama hummada.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
He's sharing right big.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
There's plenty around, madam.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Will will you kindly free holster your bosom?
Speaker 9 (02:03):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Would you rather sign my other end?
Speaker 10 (02:07):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
I'm so drunk.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I'd have signed neither your Dairya nor your bust is substance?
Speaker 5 (02:14):
Good evening, Madam, Catbar Are you crazy? You might never
get that sort of chance again.
Speaker 8 (02:20):
Come on, it's like a shot. Just get it over with.
I conscious there's an extra hundred bucks in it for you.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Oh, it's not the money side. What is it. I
can't keep my head from shaking.
Speaker 3 (02:32):
Yeah, I remember my first time too, madam.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Could you please stop jiggling you mean giggling that too?
Speaker 8 (02:39):
Here, drink this a little liquid curage that's pretty big glass, Johnny.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
I wouldn't normally say this, but good idea, sir.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh, I like where this is gone?
Speaker 5 (02:50):
Oh yeah, ah, alright.
Speaker 11 (02:54):
There, thanks Catberry.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Not you made me not not so fast.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Let me just dart this out.
Speaker 5 (03:05):
Hey, there's no iron, can't bury.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
There is no.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Come down.
Speaker 10 (03:15):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
I rather enjoyed signing.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Brest is so.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
And how about you, madam?
Speaker 4 (03:22):
And you and.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
You you you madam begging your pardon, mister smarty Marty.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Perhaps a tight fitting T shirt is not appropriate?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Well, ah see, it's all fun and games till somebody
gets hurt.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
We better get you out of here before something happens.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I mind, I tell you what the hell I.
Speaker 9 (03:44):
Want to know?
Speaker 5 (03:45):
You're foreigner the road on my girlfriends love billows too late, I.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Am, they were to weep it small, so I.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Had to write Lewercase feeling left outside.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Here you go, son of the club.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
Who's next?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
He walk?
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Whether don't hurt him?
Speaker 4 (04:03):
Come on?
Speaker 5 (04:03):
He didn't know what he's doing.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
It's all right, I've got this one coming and it
was worthy. Then you back to try truck give out
hour plenty left over.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Look at him. We're passing him around like some redneck
marsh pill. This is terrible.
Speaker 8 (04:31):
You're telling me he's gonna get me another You who Randy?
Speaker 10 (04:36):
You who.
Speaker 7 (04:39):
Body?
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Madam?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
That was an accident.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Uh yeah, we'll leaving leaving him at home.
Speaker 7 (04:53):
Let's play beating the blond y'all one eight hundred Big Show.
You told free line across America. We'll get a contestant
and pla ain't Next Wednesday morning, there's a Big Show
(05:29):
on the radio. We got our feature track from the
Big Show bid box Oliver Valentine's Day cards for the discontented.
There's for keywords cards hit the Big Box at the
Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 4 (05:45):
There right now, it's time or beat the blood.
Speaker 7 (05:49):
Every day of the time you're gonna be around a
radio you'd like to play, well, come on to the
on air button at the Big Show dot Com. Tyler
from vince Own, North Carolina is on the line.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Good morning, Tyler, Good morning, John Boy, Billy, no.
Speaker 7 (06:06):
Buddy, all right, my boy, We're gonna ask Tatter some questions.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
You agree or disagree?
Speaker 7 (06:12):
Tyler, get two bells before two buzzers, and you went
all right?
Speaker 4 (06:18):
All right, Marcy and Greek mythology.
Speaker 7 (06:22):
We were talking about Cupan this week since Valentine's Day
is coming up. Yes, how did that legendary strong man
Hercules finally die?
Speaker 9 (06:33):
Probably from a double hernia.
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Hercules if they've lifted on that heavy.
Speaker 9 (06:40):
Quake, I guess, but I don't think it was written
in mythology. He drowned.
Speaker 7 (06:46):
He drowned, Hercules drowned in Greek mythology, Tyler, agree or disagreed?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Disagree with that?
Speaker 4 (06:55):
And that was the thing to do.
Speaker 7 (06:57):
Yes, Uh, he was wearing a sh shirt that was
poisoned with the blood of a centaur, not in the
pictures that I.
Speaker 9 (07:06):
Have wearing a shirt and he put her shirt on.
Speaker 4 (07:14):
All right, what is a centaur? Maybe? Well, looked at
a half man, half horse.
Speaker 7 (07:18):
Ah, that's it with the blood, all right, Okay, don't mind.
That was a bell for you, Tyler. One more and
you win my right tighter. Doctors recommend older people should
eat more slowly than younger people.
Speaker 9 (07:37):
Why so they don't swallow their teeth so they don't
choke John boys.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
So they don't choke Tyler. Agree or disagree with the
old elderly. I'm sorry, what I'm gona have to agree
with that one? You do agree? Huh wow.
Speaker 7 (08:09):
One of the things that comes with age. Elderly people
are more likely than joke. So slow down, chew that food. Yeah,
and Tyler, you hang right down, buddy, Jack can hook
you up with a big old prize back.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Congratulations. All right, give a shout out here, you go ahead.
Speaker 3 (08:26):
I'd love to give a shout out to my granddad,
Craig Guthrie. Make sure you see your suits on.
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Tyler.
Speaker 7 (08:35):
Good word, buddy, hang on, fine, we're jumping out. Let's
catch you up on your news. Right on the other side,
we're talking about dayton about a top ten featuring Taynor
and Daytone.
Speaker 4 (08:52):
All right, good morning, it's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 10 (09:29):
All right.
Speaker 7 (09:30):
I found out how says on the five went with
me and Cadbury when the Big Show crew broadcasting down
there until a few years ago with the top ten
list featuring our girl Taylor.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
All right, daggd Billy, here they are from the Home office.
The top ten proposed daytona catchphrases for the big shows.
Marcy number ten, get off me?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Will you number nine?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Some unlock this thing and let me out. Number eight.
My eyes are up here. Number seven. No, I don't
have change for one hundred. Number six. Why don't you
make me? Number five stop? I'm about to throw up.
(10:25):
Number four. I've got pepper spray back off Jack. Number three,
very funny, Randy, Now give me back my shirt. Number two. No, no,
I can't do anything with goofy watching me and the
number one Marcy daytona catchphrase, I said, get off me.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
Let's say which once he uses the most. Good luck
with all that.
Speaker 7 (10:59):
Good morning, You've got the big showing the radio coming
up in twenty minutes.
Speaker 4 (11:02):
What to watch it? Right now? It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Well, well, well, it's that time of year again. Spring
is about to be sprung. Love is in the air,
and a woman's fancy turns to thoughts of how she's
going to soak her man out of every spare diamon
in his pocket. That's right, it's Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day
(11:40):
is a scam, a holiday created by and for women,
just like every other holiday. Why if there's a chance
to score some sort of gift by merely turning the
calendar page. Brother, you can bet your sweet life a
(12:00):
woman will find it. She can't get inside your head,
so she does the next best thing. She gets into
your wallet. And it's painful to say, but the depth
of her love is only as deep as your pockets.
(12:22):
And Valentine's Day is the perfect example why time was
a beautiful card with thoughts of it deepest love and
devotion would bring a tear to her beautiful eyes. But today,
if you give her just a card, there'll be no tears,
(12:43):
whether it's hallmarker or not. Her eyes will only show
the fires of unspeakable rage and seething hatred for all
things men, and they'll be staring right at you. It
used to be that a single simple red rose was
a blessed gesture of honest, heartfelt emotion that said I
(13:06):
love you. Now all it says is I'm a cheap,
good for nothing sob who never gave a tinker's damn
about you, and who no doubt gave the remaining eleven
roses to my other women, who, by the way, also
think I'm a cheap loser and a smelly so and
(13:29):
so are the language of flowers, sweets for the sweet.
Once upon a time a box of delicious gourmet candy
was the perfect key to your darling's heart. But now
you're just trying to make her fat, fat and unattractive,
(13:54):
even more than she is right now. And if you
don't give her care, and then you must think she's
too fat already. And as much as you try to explain,
you can't win. So don't even try. Just nod and
say you're right, you are too fat. She's gonna clabber
(14:19):
you one way or the other. You might as well
get a chuckle out of it. Nowadays women want the
world diamond tennis bracelets, Caribbean cruises and sports cars. It's
what those stupid television commercials have led her to expect,
always showing guys ten times better looking than you, lavishing
(14:42):
expensive gifts on girls you'll never be able to get.
The difference is as you stare at your television, you
realize that what you're looking at is pure fiction because
you're a man. But as she lays there on the sofa,
(15:04):
like she does most of the day every day, wearing
those same old sweatpants with the thighs worn thin by
numerous trips to the refrigerator, her hair a massive matted
rat's nest, and the smoldering filter of her fifty third
cigarette of the morning hanging from the corner of her
(15:27):
cracked lips. She watches the exact same commercial you saw,
but she sees the two of you, and if he
can give those sports cars and cruises and bracelets to her,
you should be able to do it too. Welcome to
(15:49):
the warped, delusional mind of every woman in the world.
So men, do yourself a favor, not only this valance
times day, but every holiday. Call her bluff, ignore her,
give her nothing, not even the time of day, or
(16:12):
she'll be upset, perhaps even angry, possibly violent. Maybe she'll
even leave. But, as the old saying goes, if you
love something, set it free. If it comes back to you,
think of the money you've saved. And if it doesn't return,
(16:34):
you'll have absolutely no problem replacing that greedy, loud mouthed,
trouble making old bag with another one, exactly like.
Speaker 7 (16:52):
Good morning, you got the big show on the radio,
More chances you to win coming up after your news
wedter in sports.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Oh oh, I didn't.
Speaker 11 (17:00):
Know, I didn't see you.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
This is Professor Mermyn Hanna Day, head of hey ah oh,
head of Big Show Science and History Division. And you're
listening to two boys who are destined to be history,
John Boy and Billy on the Big Show.
Speaker 9 (17:19):
Yo.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
When I say there will be history, I didn't mean
to apply a negati give. I simply meant that they they.
Speaker 11 (17:26):
Oh what did I mean?
Speaker 1 (18:03):
Good one?
Speaker 7 (18:04):
And it's a big show on the radio on the
Daytona five hundred is this Sunday and we're going back. Man,
we're looking in a Daytona file. We have got a
lot of memories down there, like when we were watching
Dale Earnhart try to win the Daytona five hundred. He
(18:27):
tried nineteen times while before he could win the big race,
And man, what did you talk about? Some fun right there?
Speaker 4 (18:38):
Sure had it?
Speaker 7 (18:39):
And then Heart and Agnior Nation band this song in
honor of number.
Speaker 12 (18:44):
Three, Well I wrote a little dudey gonna sing it
(19:05):
till they break up day not the twenty four fans
ain't got nothing to say. Roll over Daytona. Earn Hard
won today. You know, my temperatures rising because my girlfriend's
had her a few earn Hart's back and we're all
(19:30):
done singing the blues. Yeah a roll over Daytona and
tell Jeff Gordon the news. I got the rocking New
Moon and the three car just can't lose. You have
a man in black that's playing two rave reviews A
(19:52):
rollver Daytona.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
Where do y'all.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
Keep the bood?
Speaker 12 (19:57):
Well, if you came too stuck up? What do some
shooters and load up? Picked up and go to Hooters
and eat some hog wags. They're really hardy. They good buddy,
and it's kind of party. Roll over Daytona and tell
young Jiffy the news. Oh early in the morning, I'm
(20:35):
giving you the waning. Don't your puke on my good
rich shoes. The man in blackness back on track. He's
got the twenty four fans confused A roll over Daytona
and tail all Garden and neighs. You know, as fast
as light and nobody can explain. There ain't no doubt
(20:58):
about it. Barn Hard is the main. Yeah, John, here
he comes and he's headed fall Victory Lane. Come on,
Roll over Daytona, run Over Daytona, run Over Daytona, run
over Daytona, run Over Daytona. Tam Jeff Gordon and Ears.
Speaker 7 (21:30):
Good morning, I got a big show on the radio
coming up. We play Wordy word winner gets an assortment
of small batch hand cook peanuts from burn Tea County Peanuts,
a Southern tradition for over one hundred years. Just En
Heer code JB be a checkout. You'll get twenty five
percent off plus free shipping and shop online by clicking
on the leak at the Big Show dot com take
(21:52):
you right over to Burnt County Peanuts dot new. Hang on,
you can win them in minutes. Now it's Tom for
Taylor Tayman News and here's our girl, mar More.
Speaker 9 (22:06):
I appreciate it. So we're still talking about football stuff.
And I don't know if you saw it, but Taylor
Swift apparently was booed at the Super Bowl.
Speaker 4 (22:14):
I only saw her like one time, all the camera.
Speaker 9 (22:17):
I think the booing happened for just those folks who
were in the stadium. I don't think it was broadcast.
I think that we all just saw her. You heard it,
I like while the was while the football game was happening,
or did you go back and watch.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
And I think it was mentioned in the course of
the covering of.
Speaker 9 (22:31):
The Okay because I think, I mean, I've seen it,
but it was from you know, people who had their
phones and cameras and stuff like that. But I don't know, you.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Could be right.
Speaker 9 (22:39):
But anyway, Taylor, there must have been a lot of
Eagles fans at the game because when they showed Taylor
up on the Jubbo Jumbo tron and they were shown
there were a lot of celebrities there, but they showed
her and when she did, all the booze just came
flowing in and it kind of shocked her. She you
kind of kind of see her, she just does a
little side eye like, oh, they're showing me and no,
those are all booze. She was sitting next to wrapper
(23:01):
Ice Spice, and then she just kind of cracked a smile,
you know, just kind of was like so she rolled
with it, rolled with it well. And Serena Williams went
on X and wrote, I love you Taylor Swift thirteen.
Don't listen to those booze, Taylor. So Serena stuck up
for her, and then Serena was also in the halftime show.
Jackie mentioned that according to Sporting News, why was Serena there,
(23:25):
That's the question kind of like, what did that mean? Well,
she and Kendrick Lamar are both from Compton, their icons
from the town, and she had dated Drake between twenty
eleven twenty fifteen, supposedly still friends, but could that be
so interesting?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
She did the.
Speaker 9 (23:43):
Crip walk, which was that little dance that she was
doing during the Not Like Us track, which just happens
to be the one that the two rappers are beefing
about where he mentions Drake. So, I don't know that
we're supposed to get it, But I guess who was
supposed to get it got it? I don't, So I'm
answering that for Jackie.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Why was Sarrina in it?
Speaker 9 (24:03):
Yeah, you're welcome, all right, y'all heard about the Fired
the Fire aid benefit concert that happened to raise money
for the folks out in California. Well, the concert is
available to stream on demand, Netflix, Apple TV YouTube, and
Amazon Prime Video will all offer the six hour concert
for the remainder of this year, so you can take that.
In the city of Miami Beach has issued a PSA
(24:26):
to college students. What's the psa? Don't come here to
party over spring Bright. It's a ninety second video which
warns spring breakers of an increased police presence enforcing curfews,
DUI checkpoints, and bands on drinking in public, including the
beach bummerdu So. The crackdowns start this month and continue
(24:47):
through March. I needed to get that in there, Tom, Brady, Tom,
it was insufferable. I don't know. I guess the fans
who love Brady love Brady. But I was like, shut
up Tom during the oh my, during the broadcast, I
was like, talk about what just happened on the field.
I was tired of him reminiscing about his day.
Speaker 7 (25:06):
That's what a lot of people have said. You know,
he needs to be quiet a little bit.
Speaker 9 (25:11):
I don't know if the producers is in his ear going.
Speaker 13 (25:14):
Tell us more about you.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
I think everyone loves it.
Speaker 9 (25:17):
Maybe they were. You've won so many Super Bowls. Tell
us how that was. But his old wife, I mean
his ex wife, old and like past wife, she gave birth. Yeah,
she just had her first child with her boyfriend, Joaquim Valente.
According to TMZ, she's forty four years old and the
baby is healthy and great, but yeah, she's ELL's moved on.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
How many Brady and her have couple?
Speaker 12 (25:43):
Oh?
Speaker 9 (25:44):
I think they have one and he had one from before. Yeah,
with a girlfriend. Ozzy Osborne will join the original members
of the heavy metal band Black Sabbath for one final concert.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
What if Oz had it in him?
Speaker 9 (25:57):
He's seventy six years old, not in the best of health.
He recently needed spinal surgery which was complicated by his
Parkinson's disease. But the concert is schedule for July, and
you can get your tickets online for the Black Sabbath
final concert. All right, all right, if you have time,
I have won more.
Speaker 4 (26:18):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 9 (26:19):
Jessica Alba, you remember her actress, She was the invisible woman,
beautiful girl, but you always are a part of the time.
Speaker 4 (26:27):
She filed for.
Speaker 9 (26:27):
Divorce on Friday from her husband, Cash Warren. Why is
this big news? Well, the split is said to be
extremely amicable, with TMZ reports that when they wed in
two thousand and eight. Yeah, Jessica didn't demand us to
sign a pre mum. He didn't ask her to sign one,
and she didn't ask him. Her Honest Company, which all
the folks out there who have babies are familiar with.
Honest makes a lot of baby things and is natural.
(26:51):
That is the value of six hundred and twenty three
million dollars. But Cash Warren, he co founded an underwear
and sock company and that's worth one hundred million dollars.
So everybody's gonna get hacked. I guess it's gonna be okay,
all right, all.
Speaker 7 (27:07):
Right, we'll keep you out on that for us, the
good job. All right, Well, let's get us a winner.
Let's play worthy word all y'all, here we go for
the Big Old Bird team Count of Peanuts, Package one
eight hundred, Big show you told free Lite, get a
couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
Good morning.
Speaker 7 (27:47):
That's a big show on AL Radio for your Wednesday,
February twelve, Olivers our feature track for the Big Show,
vent Box Valentine's Day Cards for the discontentent betting that category.
We'll find out before we get out of here.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Right now, Let's what I had everybody's head.
Speaker 7 (28:08):
I buy the Bad Little Birdie anywhere.
Speaker 4 (28:11):
Let's meet the contestants.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Man in the wind went.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
We got Jay from Kingwood, Texas. Good morning, Jane, Good morning, eybody.
Speaker 7 (28:21):
And we got Terry from Taxworth, Georgia. Good morning, Terry,
good morning, good morning.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
There's James, Texas.
Speaker 10 (28:30):
Jay.
Speaker 7 (28:30):
That's Terry from Georgia. Y'all gonna play each other. One
of you gonna win.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
Hey, all right, Tayter and Terry. It just sounds good
together done, get.
Speaker 9 (28:43):
It done, hey, Terry, John.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
Sorry John boyd over your.
Speaker 9 (28:49):
Hey, Yeah, well who shocked anyone?
Speaker 7 (28:53):
Tear you and Taylor relaxed? He give you all a
chance to watch me and Jay? All right, Hey you ready, Boddy,
I'm ready. All right, let's see what we can do.
Then start the clock now like it's like a little
rundown house the love blank Yes, uh huh. Put that
(29:16):
in your blank and smoke it right, yes, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Give me a.
Speaker 7 (29:22):
Blank for the newspaper. They want me to say something.
Want to be able to blank me for the story? Uh?
Speaker 4 (29:29):
You do air blanks?
Speaker 7 (29:31):
When you say I'm wonderful, you can't see my air quotes?
Speaker 4 (29:35):
A let's say that quote? Go ahead? You doing this
as man?
Speaker 7 (29:43):
Jay? I kept talking and I said quote, Were you
close to quote?
Speaker 4 (29:48):
And anything? Jay's just oh no, no, no, yeah, all right.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
So we gave Terry one and we got two. So uh,
let's see what happened after this round one. We'll allow
them out.
Speaker 9 (30:02):
You ready, Terry, Yes, sir, and go Shirley Temple had
a lot of these in her hair. Yes, uh you
you you you need a psychic to look into the
what not the present?
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Yes?
Speaker 9 (30:16):
Uh you say when you rise, you say good blank,
it's yeah, hey blak, we do I want you to
tell me something, but not right now. I'll say, hey, blank,
need to tell you something I don't know me.
Speaker 7 (30:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (30:35):
No, it's like in your head. You have to you
you remember that is the buzzer.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
All right?
Speaker 7 (30:42):
Thank you did put a three on that one, so
a total of four after round one. Jay, we are
behind my two. But we can remedy that right now.
All right, Okay, it sounds looks good on paper. All right,
So Jay, we're picking up on that last word. Okay,
all right, start the clock now, all right now?
Speaker 4 (31:05):
Blank me what you said? I forgot?
Speaker 7 (31:07):
Blank me later remind blank me almost say the word
or not. I'm just set here whatever. Report, don't let
me forget be shut up.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
I've tried that.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
Set one of these on your calendar. It'll tell you
to do something. A This is a tough one.
Speaker 7 (31:37):
Remind was the word? Remind about blurting that one out?
Speaker 9 (31:42):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (31:43):
Terry from Chatsworth, Georgia, winds or Janie, we stink together.
Let's try something, buddy, but you can drag it anytime,
my boy.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
All right, wait, apreci at you playing? What is that?
King Wood and Tear.
Speaker 7 (32:00):
Hey, you get the Bertee County Peanuts prize package you
enjoy for your victory.
Speaker 9 (32:06):
Son.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
You're welcome.
Speaker 6 (32:09):
I betman.
Speaker 7 (32:13):
Morning got to make showing the radio. Yeah, moving on
my life.
Speaker 4 (32:18):
What y'all gonna do? Let you do that remind me later?
Speaker 9 (32:22):
Okay?
Speaker 4 (32:24):
Uh?
Speaker 7 (32:25):
Classic bit request Richard Hood out of Lexington, South Carolina.
Richard says, could you play the Challenge of the Fruit
to play house? Long time listener, first time Facebook messenger,
Ah Richard at work, Buddy, we got it coming up next.
(33:05):
Good morning, and it's a big show on the radio.
When a bit requests, good way to get you one
on the airs, hit the sump of the John Boy
and Belly Facebook page any time, dovers a line in
the mailbag and the Big Show dot com. Richard Hood,
long time listen, run of Lexington, South Carolina, Get your requests.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the
Challenge of the Fruits. As our story opens, John Boy
and Billy Coby Bunny and Jeff Pillars are standing at
the edge of the thick tropical jungle of a small
uncharted island in the South Pacific.
Speaker 14 (33:46):
Bellers you stirbing, Hey, John Bo, I'm going to South
Pacific the scout locations for the John Boy and Billy movie.
You and Cobby are to come with me to be
great dangerous Nah, what could happen? Why am I sounding
like Hillary co?
Speaker 2 (34:02):
A plane crash could happen? Steven? Shut up, idiots. This
is unbelievable.
Speaker 10 (34:09):
Yankee.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
I don't want to hear from you either. You know,
it's not like I planned this.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
You're the one that said I want to do a
jungle move that movie in the Jungle Feelings.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I want monkeys and pair jackass.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Wow, we got caught in the typhoon.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
It's called an accident.
Speaker 8 (34:27):
Yeah, well, Rayford says, there's no such thing as accidents.
Speaker 3 (34:30):
Yeah, this is what I call a roll.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Screw up.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
Shut up, Junior Samples. Stick a quarter in your buddy.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Quiet.
Speaker 2 (34:39):
Takes one to know one.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Hey, guys, let's not turn this say to the Lord
of the flies. Here, I mean, at least we're alive.
I think the first thing we gotta do is find
some food.
Speaker 5 (34:50):
You really think there's anything to eat around here?
Speaker 3 (34:52):
Well, sure, there's probably all kinds of tropical fruits and
stuff growing wild.
Speaker 13 (34:56):
You mean out in the jungle. No, keep an eye
for a quick mark with a deli counter. Of course,
I'm in a juggle, you idiot.
Speaker 8 (35:03):
It was probably crawling with all kind of bugs and
stuff and bees, probably more African.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Well, let's see, Billy, you must be the professor. I'm
a skipper. Commy's gilligan because John Boy is merrying. It's
a jungle. Of course there's bugs and stuff.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
You moron, Are you all going to fart around here
all day?
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Or we're gonna go get some kneed? Well, I hate
to say it, but he's right. Let's do it. Say
we ought to split up. We can cover more ground
that way. Split up.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
What if we run into something dangerous.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Like what ulla bull w bull?
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Like that fours them find themselves surrounded by a group
of angry looking tribesmen with razor sharp spears.
Speaker 10 (35:50):
I this is not good. Oh in Baid, our sacred island.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
Hey, you speak English.
Speaker 10 (36:04):
Of course, many years ago one of our tribesmen went
to school in America. He brought back much knowledge of
your land.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
That accent you got sounds like you went to Pensacola barbers.
Speaker 10 (36:18):
Islence waters face. You have polluted our sacred island with
your presence.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Off with their heads.
Speaker 5 (36:26):
Wait wait, wait, we didn't mean to come here.
Speaker 4 (36:28):
It was an accident.
Speaker 10 (36:30):
Chief, There are no accidents, fruit head, There are only
screw ups.
Speaker 3 (36:36):
Say I told.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
You shut up?
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Copy you want to get us killed?
Speaker 2 (36:40):
Chief, I listen. We mean your people look disrespect. Can't
you you know what's the word for that? Give us
a break.
Speaker 10 (36:52):
There is one possibility. I will let you live if
you pass the challenge of the fruit, A.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Boy boy, challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 5 (37:03):
Well, what's that, pillers?
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Sounds like a prison island. The challenge of the fruits,
I don't know. I wish Randy was here. Sounds like
something he'd be pretty good at.
Speaker 3 (37:14):
Well, you know, we don't seem to have a whole
lot of other choices here, guys. Okay, Chief, what's the
challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 10 (37:20):
Each of you must go into the jungle, pick some
of the native fruit, bring it back here. Then I
don't explain the challenge, aren't you los?
Speaker 3 (37:33):
His last movie, The foursome, each head off in a
different direction. Five minutes later, Billy is the first to return.
Are you hitting on me?
Speaker 10 (37:49):
You have chosen one of our native banana.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, So what's the challenge of the fruit?
Speaker 10 (37:58):
You must take the fruit that you have chosen. Uh
huh and stick it where the song does not shine. No, boy,
if you do it, we will let you live. But
I must warn you if you cry out in pain,
we will chop off your head. Are you ready?
Speaker 5 (38:15):
You know what?
Speaker 3 (38:16):
Go ahead and chop off my head, because when I
think about all the crap I'd have to take from
the other guys when I get back to civilization, I
think I'd rather just get it over with quick.
Speaker 10 (38:28):
As you wish.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Pof with his head.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
The heavy stone blade severs Billy's head from his body.
At that moment, Jeff Pillars returns from the jungle.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Oh there goes the sequel days, Louise, that was quick.
Did he fail the challenge? You might say that, I
think I just did say that fruit. What fruit did
you bring? I don't know, some kind of big pomegranate
looking things.
Speaker 10 (39:01):
Very well, then here's the challenge from the chief, the
challenge of the fruits. You must take the fruit you
have chosen and stick it where the sun does not shine.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
If you do it, let you live.
Speaker 10 (39:18):
But if you cry out in pain, we will chop
off your head.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
You pull on my leg? You get that spirit, I'd
slept it all right.
Speaker 13 (39:31):
I knew I should have hung out with a castle
more when I was doing dinner theater back in a seventies.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
Okay, Chuck will stand by. Here goes nothing.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Pillars takes the big pomegranate looking thing and tries to well,
you know, come on, baby.
Speaker 10 (39:50):
Come on baby.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
If I could just relax, I could loosen up.
Speaker 10 (39:55):
A little bit, you might have passed the prostrate test.
If you have failed the challenge of the fruit, to
kill me.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
The stone axe falls again, and pillar As follows Billy
into oblivion. At that moment, John Boy returns from his
hunting trip.
Speaker 5 (40:24):
Hey man, what the pillars?
Speaker 4 (40:26):
Billy?
Speaker 2 (40:27):
I can't believe it.
Speaker 10 (40:29):
Shut. Maybe their friends have failed. Are you ready for
the challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 5 (40:37):
If they fail? What kind of chance do I have?
We have this thing called the stupid quiz back home.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
But never mind. Okay, Chief, what's the challenge of the fruits?
Speaker 10 (40:47):
You must take the fruit you have chosen and stick
it where the sun does not shine. No, no, really,
and all of those birds and animals back there, they
will be able to see it. If you are here,
what you're doing, we live. If you cry out in pain,
(41:08):
we will chop off your ahead.
Speaker 14 (41:10):
But I brought back a bunch of little bitty berries.
Speaker 5 (41:14):
How in the world am I gonna.
Speaker 10 (41:18):
One at the time?
Speaker 5 (41:20):
Oh boy, okay, here we go.
Speaker 3 (41:23):
The berries begin to disappear into John Boys. Well you know,
oh man.
Speaker 4 (41:29):
This is gross.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
At least they're small berries.
Speaker 6 (41:36):
Just okay, I see just a just a few more.
Speaker 10 (41:56):
Laugh, you have failed the challenge of the fruits off
with his head.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
The stone axe swings down a third time, in John
Boy's head, fast to the ground. A few minutes later,
at the entrance to the Pearly gates.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
So did a hurt when the chapter head off?
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Well not really, it was you know, it was over
so quick. I really didn't feel anything.
Speaker 13 (42:22):
Yeah, lucky you let me tell you. I said that pomegranate.
I wish I think going a quick one in the
neck like you did.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
Hey, hey, look there comes John Boy.
Speaker 2 (42:30):
Hey stooping over here. Hey guys, what's with you?
Speaker 4 (42:35):
Man?
Speaker 2 (42:36):
What you made I mean, we're watching you from up here.
I had a piece of fruit the size of a baseball.
You had a handful of tiny little berries, so I
could be a freaked out like that.
Speaker 4 (42:44):
Wait, man, I was.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
Going good, pretty good there for a while.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
You know, got in my rhythm, you know, Kevin, just
this move. You know you gotta go slow to go fast.
I know, I saw right get on with it.
Speaker 4 (42:53):
But then I was down.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
Like to my very last berry.
Speaker 4 (42:56):
And then it happened.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
What happened.
Speaker 5 (42:59):
I looked up and saw Copy coming down to jungle
with a pineapple.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
We hope you will enjoyed, John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 4 (43:12):
There goes the other sequel.
Speaker 3 (43:16):
Next time we will hear crusty old Saint Peter say.
Speaker 5 (43:19):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar.
Speaker 7 (43:47):
Good morning and make Jean's on the radio building you
John Bone brother Valentine's apple, and I gotta have this
Oliver out of the mid box keyword cards.
Speaker 4 (43:59):
Here is Oliver.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
Well well will old man Winter seems to have finally
packed it in for the year. The mercury is beginning
to crawl northward on the old thermometer, and the buds
are starting to wink at the coming spring sun. For men,
that means the Super Bowl is over, the NBA Playoffs
(44:26):
are on the horizon, and the NASCAR season is upon us.
For women, it signals the coming of the yearly celebration
of their lifelong torment of the male species, the day
they cackle self contentedly over their domination and manipulation of
the average joe. Men call it just another phony, blooney
(44:49):
holiday concocted on her behalf to get you to shell
out even more of your hard earned money on worthless
crap to prove that you love her. Women call Valentine's Day.
Perhaps the worst aspect of Valentine's Day is the tradition
of the card. It's always sappy, syrupy drivel that can
(45:12):
you can barely read without lapsing into a diabetic coma,
filled with verse that no straight man would ever say. Oh,
and don't dare try to tickle her non existent funny
bone with a humorous card, or you'll be slapped with
the old You think our love is one big joke,
don't you accusation Trying to make amends for a stunt
(45:36):
like that will make the money you spent on Valentine's
Day look like chump change, but from a man's perspective,
the only one that actually matters. Wouldn't it be nice
if someone felt our pain and created greeting cards that
really expressed how we truly feel instead of how she
wanted us to feel. Well, look no further. Feel free
(46:01):
to jot these down of loving beauty. You float with
grace if only you could hide your face. Love may
be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I slept with
your sister because I felt dis Roses are red, violets
(46:23):
are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so are you. But
the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, and the
sugar bowls empty, just like your head, kind, intelligent, loving
and heart. This describes everything that you are not. I
(46:47):
love your face, your smile, your eyes, but your bo's
good for killing flies. Thanks for choosing me above all
other suitors. I just wish you didn't have those lopsided hooters.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife. Marrying you sure
(47:10):
screwed up my life. When you appear, the birdies all chirpie.
If only they knew that you had hurpies? What's everybody
looking at? I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming. Loving you takes
(47:35):
my breath away. How much did you say you weigh?
My feelings for you? No words can tell except for
maybe go to hell. When I think of your love,
I can only sigh. That is till I think of
your damn lazy eye, Oliver. Sometimes I tickle myself. Your
(48:06):
love is the greatest invention since the Clapper. But just
this one time, could you shut your big yapper? What
inspired loves? Amorous?
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Rhyme?
Speaker 1 (48:18):
Two parts vodka, one pot line? And if my missus
is listening, snookie woocoms, you know that this is just
a big show bit, because if not, I'm in real
deep trouble. Well, not all poetry has to rhyme, you know,
(48:39):
at least that's what my little angel angel says. And
why would she lie about something like that? Happy Valentine's Dada.
Speaker 2 (48:50):
Get it.
Speaker 3 (48:54):
Big boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine, by the month, play them anywhere. You can
shop the bid bogs online right now at the Big
Show dot Com.
Speaker 4 (49:04):
Order a Big Show stuff I phone.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online Services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 7 (49:10):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Boremilly Lighton Risers
podcast up next. Wherever you get your podcast, make it easy.
Subscribe to us with a free I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 4 (49:23):
Love you mean It
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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