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March 3, 2025 40 mins

Monday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll Zoom chat with Mary Jane and see what kind of deep thoughts she’s come up with.. - A.I. Elvis has an obsession with big booties and has a song to prove it.. - We honor the memories of the comedy legends Abbott and Costello - with a parody of one of their most famous skits.. - Oliver takes the big girls to the Golden Corral and Cadbury goes to court with a karaoke machine…

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Look at the data in history. It was one year
ago today, Iowa Hawkeey's Caitlan Clark. Hackey's Randy don't know,
it's Iowa hawk Oz obviously, Iowa hawk Os Caitlin Clark.
You know she's a female basketball player. That was very good.
Why am I talking to you, Ray, I don't. She

(00:20):
became the NCAA Division one all time career scoring leader,
surpassing Pete Merovitch's career total, and now we went through that,
so don't get me started on that again. Just congratulations
to Kitlan Clark. And then she was number one pick
in the w NBA and elevated that league as well.

(00:44):
Do we have some highlights. Let's see this year.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
And at the top of the second half it's sixteen
to nine.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Easton leads the scoring with.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Four and that's why she commands seven thousand dollars a year.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
These gals sure do make it look.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Difficult, but it's having this minor skill worth being so
unattractive that's for the fan to decide.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yay, I think that was wrong, the wrong one. What
about that song about Kaitlyn I feel like a woman
now known as Kaitlyn Jenner. Okay, all right, we'll just
we'll just move on and worry about that and say
congratulations to Caitlin for rising the tide, lifting all boats

(01:25):
in the w NBA. All right, you are ready for
beating the blood show what our girl can do? Big shows?
You gotta go wait first, right, we could have contested
and play next. Good morning, there's a big show already.

(02:06):
We're running through you Monday morning, March the third at
our feature track from The Big Show bit Box Catbarrey
scenes Butler's Paradise. Search for keyword paradise when you hit
the Big Box at the Big Show dot com right
now time or beat the blooh. Let's meet our contestant.

(02:28):
We got Josh out of Beckley, West Virginia. Good morning, Josh,
Good morning y'all today man we also man, all right,
that's my West Virginia Josh down at Hyde County. I
got Big Josh, Little Josh and medium Josh. That's crazy
your name there right, well, Josh's glad you hear Budnie.

(02:53):
We're gonna ask tat you some questions. You agree or
disagree at two bells before two buzzers, and you got
the big old prize.

Speaker 5 (02:59):
Pa. I got all right, sounds good to me. We
can do it.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Let's do it, then, Tady, we were learning about wedding etiquette.
We're not trying to force you last week. So well,
let's let's go to Bride's magazine.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Thanks for the non push.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
According to Bride's Magazine, the groom should put it in
a sealed envelope and give it to the best man,
who will then give it to the minister. What's in
the envelope?

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Oh, maybe a non disclosure agreement from the bachelor party.

Speaker 6 (03:35):
There.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Hey, hey, the marriage license?

Speaker 1 (03:43):
The marriage license? Josh, do you agree or disagree?

Speaker 7 (03:50):
Gosh, I wasn't thinking marriage license at all, but I'm
gonna trust her on this one.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well, that was a stupid thing. Probably the ring. I
would just go with your gun on these things. Oh now,
the minister's fee, the minister's fee.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
How many are out there looking going?

Speaker 1 (04:12):
We were supposed to pay.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
Him a buzzer?

Speaker 1 (04:17):
That's all right, but he's still players. Let's go to
an average year in California. They have about two hundred
of them, two hundred What well.

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Successful marriages.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I think your a is a little hard.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
They have an average of earthquakes.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Two hundred earthquakes a year. All right, Josh, agree or disagree.

Speaker 5 (04:48):
I guess I'm supposed to disagree.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Ain't know, not necessarily. So what are you going to do? Stoopid?

Speaker 3 (04:59):
I answered you.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
I was just loving at you. I'm talking to Josh.

Speaker 4 (05:03):
So, Gosh, if you think she's right, you agree.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah, Josh, if you think she's right, you agree. If
you think she's wrong, you disagree. It's not that hard.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think he understands the content for agreeing with her
a minute ago.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
Well, yeah, when you were wrong, and that was a
stupid thing to do.

Speaker 6 (05:21):
I mean, Josh, Josh, buddy, the way you feel right now,
that's how I feel all the time.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Usually a wordy word. But now now I got to
deal with beating the blog where it's it's a fairly
simple contest. Look with buzzers.

Speaker 6 (05:35):
Let's agree, I'm gonna agree with her again.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
You're gonna agree with her and I and I forgot
what you said? What'd you say?

Speaker 3 (05:43):
He said earthquakes?

Speaker 1 (05:44):
John, you said earthquakes, and he is agreeing with you,
and that was all right, good, We're gonna I just
wanted to keep Josh alive. I had to beat up
on him a little bit and do it.

Speaker 3 (06:02):
But I don't know how you're taking credit for his answer.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yes, here we go. By the way, the earthquake answer,
just in case you want to know, is just the
one strong enough to be noticed. The us gs S,
whatever the heck that is, reports Southern California experiences about

(06:28):
ten thousand earthquakes per year, but the vast majority are
too small to be felled, average or too other that
you can feel. Yeah, and remember mud can kill you
in California as well, right now, man after the fires man?
All right, all right, Josh, here we go. All right,

(06:49):
it's like a brand new question. All you gotta do
is get one right on this. Agree or disagree with
our girl.

Speaker 5 (06:58):
Don't let me know.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
About half of the leather made in the United States
is used to make.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
What make alone time more fun?

Speaker 1 (07:15):
A lo time? You got it?

Speaker 3 (07:19):
It is used to make furniture. Is your final answer.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Half the leather in America is used to make furniture. Josh,
agree or disagree?

Speaker 5 (07:32):
Disagree?

Speaker 1 (07:34):
That there what you say? Josh?

Speaker 8 (07:45):
I said it was a hard fought battle, but we got.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
I told you had the answer in your head as
we were doing. Well, what do y'all dance? What do
you think it is, Josh, I would have to say
he didn't.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
Probably like that. Seats like car seats.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
Shoes. I'll go ahead and tell you all shoes, right, shoes,
but interior carware. That's a good guess. It's in the
top five about then, all right, Josh's good guess? Wrong again?
You got a buddy? All right, Josh, you got the
prize packed. Wow, I feel invested. I feel like we
should split it. Just pick buddy. I appreciate you playing

(08:30):
with us this morning. Josh, you hang on and jackill
hook you.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Good work.

Speaker 5 (08:34):
All right, sounds great. You have a great day.

Speaker 1 (08:36):
Ahright, buddy, Yeah, you're right, Jada, I really should be
more invested than just what I'm breaking. The listener.

Speaker 3 (08:47):
You're the host man, you got the answers. You just
can just sit down.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
I was doing so well.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
I want to sit here and listen to everybody's news.

(09:31):
Yeah morning, it's a big shoulder radio for your Monday
March third. You having a birthday of the day, Hey,
your March baby, Monday March third. They don't feel old.
Bud Bundy from Married with Children with Kid Bud David

(09:51):
Faustino is fifty one years old today. If anyone want
to be record, I was just a marry with children.
Wonder like that. They were talking about that old uncle
ed Al Bundy Tater's uncle.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Well, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
That's need man. He was a good football player. He
really could play football goodn't they?

Speaker 5 (10:21):
Yep?

Speaker 3 (10:21):
They're from Youngstown, Ohio, and yep he played for school
there and then he went on to Youngstown State in
the California.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
About that, So, Bud Buddy, now, and we were talking
the other day about how in the world we're talking
about w NBA earlier today, How to were them girls
see through them long eyelashes and and their braids and
their hair pieces. That's not really their hair are they?
You know? The one of the leak thing? Yeah, And

(10:48):
like how how did they play with that done and
the heavy getting their eyes and like that working? But
I want to give a shout out. And I was
against it. By the way, there's a shock room.

Speaker 9 (10:58):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Jackie Joiner Cursey is sixty three years old today. Now,
she was an athlete. She was the first one. And
I'm thinking about I mean, what do I know? It
was just the first one I noticed with him long
eyelashes and them long fingernails she had. But she was
a runner, so yeah, olibya she was. She had it

(11:21):
going on, didn't she. She was a good looking rascal.
Too fast, so fast, Yeah, so fast, so.

Speaker 5 (11:28):
Lane was.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
I guess at that speed, everything just kind of blows
out of her face. I don't think that anything's really
I don't know when.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Them eyelashes, you know, to get that in the wind tunnel,
like like we do nascars, you know, to say, maybe
the eyelashes. She opened her eyes and comes to smoking
loon and over her head. I disagree. Well, our listeners
can't see me.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
How I apologize for being silent. I was just watching
you act it out.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
Yeah, you join her because our eyes. Oh yeah, y'all. God,
I guess it works. I guess. So all right, that's
all I had. Mainly. Yeah, happy birthday to you. Good morning.

(12:36):
That's a big showing the radio.

Speaker 10 (12:37):
Let's turn it over to mister Rubarb. Thank you give
me the beat. Good morning, boys and girls. This is
your vaguely creepy old pal mister, and this is mister Rubarb.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Story time.

Speaker 10 (12:55):
Once upon a time, there was a young man who
lived in a far off count in Africa called Singala.
It was a poor country where the people all lived
in simple grass huts. His name was Ongo. Ongo was
in love with a beautiful girl named Nyla. One day,

(13:16):
Ongo asked Nala to be his wife, and she said yes.
But a few weeks before they were to be married,
Nala got a letter from the United Nations that said
she had won a full scholarship to the John Hopkins
School of Medicine in the United States. Oh, Ongo, she said,

(13:37):
I can't go to America. You and I are about
to be married. No, no, said Ongo. You must take
this scholarship. Your dream of becoming a doctor is about
to come true. When your schooling is finished, you can
come back to Singala and help our people eliminate disease.

(13:58):
There will be time for us to get married. Married later,
I will wait for you. Nala's heart was breaking, but
she knew Ongo was right. She told him, hold on
to your kind and generous heart and give it to
me when I returned. Shortly after Nala left for America,
Singala went to war with a nearby country of a

(14:19):
Kabu two Onngo was called to serve in his country's army.
Singala was a poor country whose people lived in simple
grass huts. Akab two was a rich country with thousands
of well trained soldiers, but after many months they were
defeated by the army of Singala, led by Ongo, who

(14:42):
had become a great and ruthless warlord. After their victory,
Singala marched into the King of Akab Two's palace and
took away his most prized possession, a throne made of
solid gold. After the war, Ongo became the new king
of Singala. He marked the occasion by placing the solid

(15:03):
gold throne in the middle of his grass hut as
a reminder of his great victory over his enemy. One morning,
a messenger arrived and said, King Ongo, an old friend
is here to see you. Her name is doctor Nalla.
Ono's old love had returned as she promised, but Ongo

(15:24):
realized he was no longer the kind, gentle boy she
had left behind, but a cruel war lord sitting on
a stolen golden threshing of what stolen grolden throne? Oh
I had it right the first, Yet pierced with guilt
Onngo ordered his servants to hide the golden throne by

(15:45):
lifting it up into the rafters of the grass hut
with ropes. The throne was hidden away chest as Nalla
entered the hut. Oh Ongo, my love, she said, you
have become a great and powerful man. Nonsense, said Ongo,
I am the same humble boy you fell in love with.
At that very moment, the rope holding the golden throne

(16:08):
broke and it came crashing down on King Ongo, killing
him instantly. The moral of the story people who live
in grasshouses, shutting stow thrones. And that's it for another
home run edition of Mister Rhubarb Summertime Story Time Till

(16:32):
we meet again. This is mister Rhubarb saying peace out.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Hang loose.

Speaker 10 (16:37):
Word to you, Obama cousins are good for practice. Later, taters,
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.

Speaker 8 (16:47):
Hang on, all right, listen to you, mog it's time
to button your appy. I'm trying to listen to these
two clowns, John Boyn Billy and a big Shaw. Yeah,
the big Shaw. It's big, say bigger than big. It's
your amous. Hey, he's adorable.

Speaker 1 (17:31):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. March
the third, It was this Dayon nineteen fifty five, Elvis
Presley made his first ever television appearance on the regional
Country show Louisiana. Hey Rod Elvis, first time is on
TV on this day, and look right here at the

(17:53):
Big Show. We got the AI Elvis thanks to Randy
Yes artificial intelligence and Elvis singing this song, Oh well.

Speaker 11 (18:08):
I made, but Sanna cannot lie. You are the brothers
a Canta de night, the one the girl waxing with
the adad. You ain't standing around in your face. You
get sprung, you get through, you get scrub deep Tim
the gens's wearing. I look Tanna can't stop staring.

Speaker 1 (18:30):
Paby got back my anaconda. Don't do what not unless
you got back the bonds high.

Speaker 11 (18:39):
I'm behavior, He said that father glass to go and
find that you and said, doub you get sprung, you
get throw, you get spry.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
I only one other, but it's yours. I'm believe you.
Oh good morning, got the Big Show on the radio
coming up. We play worthy word for one hundred and
twenty dollars worth of bull snot cleaning products made in
the USA. Drug drivers keep America moving, and bullsnot make

(19:13):
sure they look good doing it. That's why I can
find bullsnot at truck stops across America. Or download the
bull Snot app all kinds of stuff from glass cleaner,
even like a fresh smell refresher deal. I mean they
got it awz wonderful. The Big Show dot com is
where you go to click on the Bullsnot banner or
you hang right here and win you a big old

(19:35):
box of it. I'm looking for my date in history.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
It was.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Alban Costello. We always nine look at comedy duos over
the years, and it was on the state in fifty nine,
just three days from his fifty third birthday, comedian Lou
Costello died from massive heart attack at fifty two. Was
he the big one? A little one? He Rabbit Costello?

(20:05):
Lou was the skinny tall Okay, how about it?

Speaker 12 (20:08):
Man?

Speaker 1 (20:09):
Yes, I said, Me and Billy have followed comedy duos
from the beginning, and wow, it even rubbed up on us.
I mean rubbed a little bit with this bit from
the bit bogs.

Speaker 12 (20:25):
I roll that allout, John point. Yes, I got a
question about this thing y'all are doing. You have a
thing where you're calling to hear the song and you
can win tickets to see that big concert.

Speaker 1 (20:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (20:34):
What I want to know is I'm supposed to be
listening for a song by who?

Speaker 1 (20:38):
Right, what's right? You're supposed to be listening for a
song by Who?

Speaker 12 (20:42):
I don't understand this.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
No, No, you've got it.

Speaker 12 (20:44):
Wait a minute, y'all are giving away tickets to.

Speaker 13 (20:47):
See who exactly? Huh, we're giving away tickets to see
the Who.

Speaker 12 (20:51):
What all I want to know is what's the name
of the group that's playing in Raleigh? No?

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Who's in Rawle?

Speaker 12 (20:57):
That's what I'm trying to find out.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I just told you tell me, Wow, who's in Raleigh?

Speaker 3 (21:02):
I don't know?

Speaker 9 (21:03):
No, No, Now, that's a new wave group from England.
They're gonna be at the Milestone next week.

Speaker 12 (21:08):
The wave group.

Speaker 1 (21:09):
No, No, I don't know. This is a new wave group.

Speaker 12 (21:11):
If you don't know what, you bring it up talking
about a big group, right right? Perfect show?

Speaker 1 (21:19):
Right, I would think, So that's right? Who comes on? Last?

Speaker 12 (21:23):
Hold?

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Now you got it?

Speaker 12 (21:25):
I don't never know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 13 (21:27):
Look, I call in when I hear a song by
exactly what? No, you call in when you hear a
song by who?

Speaker 12 (21:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 9 (21:35):
No, that's that new wave group from England. They're the
Milestone next week. We've been over this, but.

Speaker 12 (21:40):
I get the miles. Okay, when the show's open, they're
gonna pay these guys.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Right, that's right.

Speaker 12 (21:46):
So at the end of the show they'll write out
a check and they'll make it off the whole that's right.

Speaker 9 (21:50):
Got the money, every opinion, they deserve it. They're one
of the greatest rock groups in history, it is.

Speaker 12 (21:55):
That's right, all right, all right, I get it, I
get it. I got a couple of other quick questions.
All right, remember the song Roundabout?

Speaker 14 (22:05):
Yes?

Speaker 12 (22:06):
They recorded it?

Speaker 1 (22:07):
Yes, Yes, what are you gonna tell me where they
are to tell you?

Speaker 12 (22:12):
Why? Hello?

Speaker 3 (22:13):
It did round About?

Speaker 1 (22:14):
No, who's in Raleigh? They don't know they're that new
wave group of the mouse down.

Speaker 12 (22:20):
My head, my guy?

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Laugh quickly, Ok, Okay.

Speaker 12 (22:25):
Somebody told me there was a Canadian group from the sixties,
had a lot of head records, just got back together
and they're coming to Carolyn soon.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Guess who look are you.

Speaker 12 (22:34):
Gonna call me or not? I just did Foster group
of Carolyn.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
Know who's in Raleigh?

Speaker 12 (22:39):
They don't know?

Speaker 4 (22:40):
That's that new wave.

Speaker 6 (22:46):
Hello?

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Well that was a laugh, and Randy had it backwards
about the skinny one in the Fat One just fu Yeah, thanks,
We're gonna play wordy word right now, one to eight hundred,
Big Show. You told free line. We'll get a couple
of contestants and play next Good Monday morning. It's a

(23:32):
big show on the radio. A feature track for the
Big Show. Big Bogs, hang on, Get Catbirds sing for
you except Friday Morning Songs. Trying on Monday ride.

Speaker 4 (23:45):
Right now, let's fly away everybody's head.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
I buy the bed A by word, not a wordy word.
Let's meet a contestants. We got Tom from Huntsville, Alabama.
Good morning, Tom, Good morning, youn boy? You doing hey
man Awsome's always I mean pretty good? Okay. Vincent from

(24:09):
Johnson City, Tennessee. Good morning, Vincent's.

Speaker 6 (24:14):
What's going on? Bellow?

Speaker 1 (24:15):
You are Vincent? There's Tom down in Alabama and Thomas
Vincent up to Tennessee.

Speaker 6 (24:21):
All right, what's bensam.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Right? A couple of big usters come together here, so
it'll be Vincent and Tater, John Moore and Tom all
right here between the boys.

Speaker 5 (24:35):
Yeah, yeah, hoo, Me.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
On the idea, will visit you, Taya relaxed, right, they
got the word tablets. Me and Tom gonna see what
we can do. For the first thirty seconds, all right, Tom,
you ready, yes, sir, all right, start the clock now.
At night, you go to bed and get some sleep.
Yeah all right. If you don't go right to sleep,

(25:02):
you can do your wife and have a little one drive.
Sorry yeah, yeah, uh huh. Alright, all right, you're a brother,
you have a.

Speaker 9 (25:13):
Sister.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, uh huh. The blank networking watch bugs bunny?

Speaker 12 (25:18):
What is that cartoon?

Speaker 5 (25:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (25:20):
Uh huh? Don't stand blank down, get a chair. Yeah,
as you were, Tom, Yes, sorry about the whole baby thing.
I was just I was stuck in bed. I know,
I was so stupid on my part. But you adjusted
and we put a five on the board. Good work.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
I still think it's the stork, so I'm not calling
for your stuff.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Well, Vincent, you and Taylor for your first thirty seconds?
Are you ready?

Speaker 6 (25:50):
Left?

Speaker 13 (25:50):
Go tider, all right and go.

Speaker 3 (25:53):
Don't stay indoors, go blank and play go blank? Yes,
I while you have an unusual name, can you blanket
for me?

Speaker 4 (26:05):
Yep?

Speaker 3 (26:05):
You put a picture in one of these, maybe a
wood one or a metal. This is when you're shopping
and you're just looking around. They ask you can I
help you, and you're like, no, I'm just looking.

Speaker 5 (26:14):
I'm just.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
Yes, this is a kind of pickle, kind of very
popular pickle, not a kozer. But yep, you do this
to paper with scissors.

Speaker 12 (26:25):
Cut.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Whoa look at y'all with that cut you put a
six on the board to take the lead by once
trying to.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Work in your wife and bed.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
Cut a Tom, Let's see what we can do for
a round two? Are you ready? I'm ready a starting
the clock now. Another word for a rock a heavy yes,
uh huh, all right, this is the middle Okay, it's right, wow,

(26:59):
the middle of something. Or this is the k yeah, yeah,
kind of like that is. Another word is is is
what Park?

Speaker 5 (27:10):
New York?

Speaker 1 (27:10):
Hurricane blank? Or I can't blanking park Park, New York?
Oh Park Doug Gyn.

Speaker 9 (27:20):
A man.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Suck? I sug in this game never again? One on
the board of six vicent Taylor only has to get
one to win. Ready to go?

Speaker 3 (27:37):
Okay uh in New York, A very famous park.

Speaker 12 (27:43):
Doug going.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
You know, I fancy myself the king of wordy word.
But every once in a while, oh man, Tom came
up a little shore. That's on me, Jack. You give
Tom another shot at it down the road home right there,
Tom waited. Today we appreciate you, Tom. We'll gonna give

(28:15):
me another shot out buddy of us. Tell me all right,
did Tom's gonna have a good rest of his day
in hospital? Got visit up Johnson City celebrating waiting on
his one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull snots.
It's you a good player that Vincent. Good game, buddy,
I appreciate it. Guys. Good morning, got a big show
on the radio. Bevery question candygram for John Boy. Danny

(28:39):
Matthews out of Newton, North Carolina. As if you could
play Oliver taking the girls to Golden Corral for me,
I'd be so happy. That makes one of you.

Speaker 5 (28:50):
Danny.

Speaker 3 (28:51):
That's a story.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
We'll do it next. Good morning. It's a big sean

(29:19):
the radio. Appreciate you giking you work? Where golf? What
is in his Monday marks the third A first bit
request to the week goes to Danny Matthews out of Newton,
North Carolina with his visit from the beginning, it is
time for Oliver.

Speaker 15 (29:41):
Well, well, well, I've been corralling the big gals for
many years now. At this point, there aren't many surprises.
They like to eat at buffets again, didn't need a
PHISA warrant to discover that. But that doesn't mean it's
always a normal troughs let me preach on it. I'm

(30:03):
not sure if it's a badge of honor or a
permanent humiliation, but the Titanic Trio are the only people
I know that have a lifetime ban at Golden Corral.
They even put in speed bumps to try to slow
them down.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
It was to no avail.

Speaker 15 (30:22):
They were three large, sweaty piranhas in big hair. One
manager even had the nerve to try that old Seinfeld joke. Hey,
the ocean called, they're running out of shrimp. The girls
couldn't reply, mostly because their mouths.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Were full of shrimp.

Speaker 15 (30:42):
Buffets are a lot like strip clubs. You always regret
going to a cheap one. We went to one place
while we were traveling. It was a Seseshwan establishment, appropriately
named Soon Fat. I guess we should have been suspicious

(31:03):
that it was between a vet clinic and an exotic
pet store. And instead of after dinner mince, they had
a big bowl of thumbs. The food was sketchy at best,
but the gals didn't notice. They wound up having to
use a fork because they were rubbing their chopsticks together
so fast they were bursting into flames. I was hungry,

(31:26):
so I had to eat something. While I was putting
some noodles on my plate, I saw something move. I
thought I might have been just delirious from the fumes
coming off the sweat and sour chicken. No, I didn't misspeak.
But then I saw it again. I finally called over

(31:46):
the manager and told him what I saw without missing
a Beatie said, oh, that's just the peaking duck. The
duck was peeking out of the noodles. He had a
wonderful personality. Feeding the gals is like a trip around
the world. They've sampled cuisine from all across the globe.

(32:08):
They've even had Viking food. For Pity's sake. It was
a place called from Bad to Norse. After they licked
the bins clean of all the reindeer, monkfish, and sheep's heads.
They even got a yak attack snack pack to go.
We even went to a grand opening of mister T's buffet.

(32:29):
I pity the full and of course, how could we
pass up the Star Wars all you can eat extravaganza
bo buffet.

Speaker 4 (32:42):
You don't even know why. That's funny, your fat bastard,
you don't even know.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
I know.

Speaker 4 (32:50):
And look how you gotta find out from the dumb one.

Speaker 15 (32:54):
I mean, last week they found it getting back to
it week they found an Indian buffet they wanted to
try Gandhis when hunger strikes.

Speaker 4 (33:06):
Kind of a history joke. See Randy got that your
fat bathroot?

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Can you get?

Speaker 15 (33:12):
You know, if you watch the History Channel on a
little bit of Star Wars movies, you might be able
to get in on some.

Speaker 4 (33:16):
Of these laughs.

Speaker 1 (33:18):
I told them. Now.

Speaker 15 (33:19):
I tried to warn the gals that the Indian food
is like a relationship. It starts out hot and spicy
and usually ends up with someone on the toilet screaming
why me? But they wouldn't listen.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
And when the.

Speaker 15 (33:33):
Girls rolled their rascals through the door, the look on
the owner's face was like that of a girl telling
her Democrat parents she was marrying one of the Trump boys.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
Now that would he gets?

Speaker 15 (33:46):
But by that point it was too late. The gals
pounded down tons of tika masala, crates of curry, bundles
of buryani, and a substantial amount of somosa. Each dish
spicier than the next. Why they sweat so much? The
bus boy had to mop frequently and even put out
those slippery when wet cones around them. When the last

(34:08):
morsel was gone and the owner in tears put the
clothes sign in the window, he tried to get us
out the door before the girls needed to use the restroom.
But the gals, much to their credit, didn't belch, didn't poot,
didn't even gasp until we got home. Then the poop
damn burst. The crime scene cleanup service won't even return

(34:32):
my calls. I think we're gonna have to move soon.
Oh I forgot to mention there was only one buffet
the gals were banned from before they even did any damage.
It was called in the buff A. It was a
Canadian nudist colony. See even naked people have standards.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
I'm gona big shows on the radio for your feature
track of the day, Cadbury singing Butler's Paradise. Keyword is paradise?
You like this for your John Board Billy album hit
the Big Box at the Big Show dot Com.

Speaker 6 (35:39):
Let's do order order, Nigel Cadbury, would you please approach
the bench of course, your honor mister Cadbury. You have
been charged with battery, disorderly conduct and destruction of public property.

Speaker 4 (35:56):
This is not your first apparents before this court. Sir,
this seems high.

Speaker 1 (36:01):
He had a character for you. Now, what do you
have to say for yourself? Well? Perhaps this will enlighten.

Speaker 14 (36:08):
You, sir.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
As I stand on the deck at a burger branch ranch,
I take an long, deep breath of the manure. Sten
how to wind up here? Did something go wrong? Let
me fill you in with this rap song. Now, I've
never served a man who more deserved it.

Speaker 8 (36:31):
He treats me like family.

Speaker 6 (36:32):
You know that's unheard of.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
To serve and protect is my chosen way of life.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
That goes for his.

Speaker 6 (36:38):
Friends, his kids, and his wife. I'm always on call
because I have to be. Some days I don't even
have time to pee fool. I can't say every second
he's a total joy until I kicked someone's ass. Who's
messing with John Boy?

Speaker 11 (36:54):
Life?

Speaker 4 (36:54):
Living in a Butler's.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
Pair of dice?

Speaker 14 (36:59):
Let life living in a butler paradise.

Speaker 6 (37:04):
My life's a situation of my own creation. Believe me,
Country life was not my chosen destination. But I'm here
and I'm playing for the Hick team. I'm just down
with living the Hooderville dream. I'm a Rhodes scholarsen with
an educated mind, cahere to the States to see what
I could find. I'm a straight Jedi, master of the
butlering art. No just the right incense to cover parts.

(37:27):
I make Chateaubrion off Brunswick stew I can fold fitted sheets,
and when I proved, I'll clean and dress two dozen
different species and shovel to beat a feaces.

Speaker 7 (37:39):
Tell me how the hell is he so swell waiting,
hay and foot on that be dumb bells now Here's
the life Linen and a butler paradise.

Speaker 14 (37:59):
Live, oh life, living in the butler's paradise.

Speaker 6 (38:04):
It's not about the money, it's not about the power.
It's about reminding sir he should probably.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Take a shower.

Speaker 6 (38:10):
It's living to your word and taking a stamp. Sometime
it gets ugly and you gotta throw hands. They say
it's not consistent with the butler away. But I'll take
this way of life. I have any damn day.

Speaker 4 (38:22):
Of course.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
I like to drink, I like to fight. I like
the skinny dip with country girls in the moonlight. Then
spending on my life.

Speaker 14 (38:31):
Living in the Butler's Paradise, A bottle of great good
saw ice.

Speaker 10 (38:37):
Living in the Butler's.

Speaker 14 (38:38):
Paradise, Stay for breakfast nineteenth nice living in a Butler's parade,
don't have to ask me twice? Living in the Butler's
Paradie help me?

Speaker 3 (38:53):
Hell?

Speaker 1 (38:55):
Is he so swell?

Speaker 7 (38:57):
Waiting?

Speaker 11 (38:58):
Had then call that big.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Dumb bell Just.

Speaker 7 (39:05):
Hell Canny Nontail's.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
Manor.

Speaker 6 (39:12):
But John Boy sells, Okay, I'll get it. Case dismissed,

(39:34):
many thanks your honor. Now, mister Turner, why.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
Are you here?

Speaker 4 (39:39):
I'm just paying some pocking ticket, johnna ha ha.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Big boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine. Buy them once, play them anywhere. You can
shop the Big Box online right now at the Big
Show dot Com. Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one.
Stuff Online services by had MC dot com.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
If you missed any of the Big Show this morning,
you can hear it all the John Boybilly Late Risers
podcast up next. Wait wherever you get your podcast, making
it easy, subscribe to us with a free I heart
radio app I love you mean it
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Hosts And Creators

Billy James

Billy James

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

Johnny "John Boy" Isley

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