April 1, 2025 • 43 mins
Tuesday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we’ll call back over to Dell’s Den for an update.. - Tater assigns this week’s list of What to Watch.. - Tank Hogarth wonders where all the manly haircuts have gone.. - Rev. Sincere and Goober deal with a nasty bat infestation.. - We'll give the Not Ready for Drive Time players one more shot at their latest Playhouse script.. - Mark Packer gives us an update on the death of Cinderella - and the rest of the latest from final four.. - We'll fill a request for Marvin Webster - and then wrap up the day with Carl Childers’ description of John Boy's “Beach Entourage”…
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hangout all right, listen you moug it's time to button
your yapp say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns,
John Boyn Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey, he's adorable, shoving on the hopping out on.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It is Tuesday, April first, What it's April Foolsday? Look
how we got a mine out?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
All right?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
You know what happens. I'm stupid this jockey he's gonna
get fired. Are we looking at him? I made it
forty some years so you through forty April fools Day
we have.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I don't recall ever doing anything April Fools prink was.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I remember there was on this jockey in Charlotte, North
Carolina through to your Chuck Booze. Oh you know we
met jug many many times. He got he's become a
good friend. He got it, got fired or kicked off.
I don't know whether suspended or he came back. He
said one of the stations when he said the banks
were running out of money.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yeah, that wasn't fun. It's a federal offense.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Choker's on. This comedy thing is not easy. I've been
trying to tell you all that.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Then he threw a coffee cup at his co host.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And went home. Oh all right, so let's try not
to do anything stupid. Hey, National tom Foolery Day as well.
That's the lesser holiday of the April fool gendre. I guess, huh,
tom foolery. Well, we got enough of your tomfoolery, all right,
(02:15):
come up with a good disc jockey prank that won't
get as fire there, or maybe it will get as
fired well maybe this point. Yeah, all right, National one
cent Day, and we're gonna do away with the pennies.
I know Trump was talking about that.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I know we spend a lot more making them than there.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We said to the man, let's go ahead, I'll step
over one now. Raver never would Ray pick up Benny.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
I heard conversation that, you know, if we all just
went into our couches, and you know, into that big
jar that you've been saving all your change, pull all
the twenties and give them back, we probably wouldn't have
to print The many always got pennies just laying around
their house, and big.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Jars and still get them.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Just get them, take.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Them to the bank, get you know, get you some
silvers or dollars you have that's hoarding all the pennies
because we don't use them, so we've cast.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
That's very true.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I know you still carry cash, but I really don't.
I never use cash anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, I know you're lead the way to that. Cash
on society, worship the beasts and money. It's still money.
It's just not be pigging right now. Later I'll be
warning you, Oh you didn't make it. National sour Dough
(03:33):
bread Day. Let's get behind that like a good old
sour dough bread man. And this today's takedown Tobacco National
Day of Action. All right, they've been doing it what
we're supposed to do. Go attack some farmers. Is that
the way to do it now?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Good luck? All right? So okay, we got three dates
in history saved up. Those will be very important. We'll
get the winning beginning with those. We're away big shows
on the radio, Good morning Big shows on a radio.
First prize, pie It Proud sponsor LS Tractor. We got
some cool swag includes a hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler,
(04:15):
and the key, Jane, go to lstractor USA dot com.
You'll find your local dealer. Learn why customers start blue
and stay blue. Three dates in history where we get
our categories. Here we go April the first Tomfoolery Day,
and O four Google introduced Gmail. The launchow was met
with skepticism on account of the launch date. Oh yeah, Dota,
(04:39):
I did a launch a new platform on April Fool's Day,
and Google was.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Famous for doing April fools jokes?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Oh yeah, stupid Google's all right. Let's move up to
twenty nineteen. In the US, online sales overtook retail sales
for the first time for general merchandise stores. That's like
a Target Kmart, stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
At the words does the Amazon all those guys started
to People don't go out to the stores.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Anymore around twenty nineteen, six years ago. I didn't believe it.
I thought it was an April Fool's break. Twenty twenty four,
Florida's population reached twenty three million, making it the third
most popular state in the US.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's the right party. Thousand people And there you go.
There's our categories one eight hundred, big show you told
free live. Come on we play out birds next good
(06:00):
this will big show on the radio, Rolling through your
Tuesday April first our feature track for to make Show
bid Box Carl schilders on, John Boys, Beach on Durrag
just in time for spring. What they do mainly act stupid.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It's entirely different.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Searchmage words, Beach Carl hit the bed box, had to make.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Show, not God mat out on theirs.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
There's one gang.
Speaker 8 (06:25):
It'll go uppers. Let's play Upburst. It's the game that
anyone can win. John Boy and Billy to give the
prizes from the big prize being. Let's go contested number one.
This should it be a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Win you're playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and.
Speaker 8 (06:48):
Guest time you love the best time you love a
big shots.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Let's say, hey the girl from Farms, South Carolina.
Speaker 9 (07:00):
We hew, Hey, John Boy, there you go.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
We doing the gay welcome in here, buddy. Well let's
see if we can get no winning beginning. Going to
go right through you in Florence. You ready, yes, sir?
Five seconds? Three email domains ready? Okay, email heart fail
our cloud okay? Yeah is that right?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, I knew you wouldn't I know a Gmail because
my wife got one? Man I got I got a cloud? Okay,
all right, that's true. Okay, Well, let's move up to
twenty nineteen. Gary, give us three places to shop online?
Ready go?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Uh Amazon?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Wait for her? About body path past body? I missed
that one out of the game. Nobody the order, no
body in bass. He's looking at me crazy. It's one
of your shopping hotspots, GIRs. Well, now for the wind.
(08:16):
Give us three things in Florida? Ready to go?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Oh, let's see alligators?
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Are people? Beacon here?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You and sons the third most popular state in the
US just reached that one year ago today? How about that?
And Taylor says she believes it.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I believe it?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
And why is that I believe it?
Speaker 7 (08:45):
You try to move around not in Florida.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
A There were good work, buddy. You got to make
old well less tractor prize bag heading down Florence for you.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Okay, thank you, oh boy, you all have.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
A blessed day. Thank you, my boy. Kiss wife and
hang on. Why the money, y'all? Is the top of
your news? I washed about twenty meters away more than
Bill Simmer's Top ten. You're known to miss good morning.
(09:52):
That's a big show on the radio. Were rolling through
your Tuesday April first. Don't do anything foolish, ready, Joe alight? Well,
oh yeah, man, I want to tell you all John
Boy's wonderful Thing number one hundred and thirty seven. What
it is. It's a hardback copy of the book The
(10:12):
Whole Truth about Spring Turkey Hunting. According to Ronnie K. Strickland,
the legend from Marco. Look me around to get my
grand slam, and I will autograph the book, make it
personal to our winner. So it just hit the Big
Show dot com. Get your name in a hat. We'll
give it away at the beginning of the final hour
(10:33):
of the Friday Big Show, right dad, Bill Silver's gonna
try to help the d NC. Listen twenty minutes Big
Shoe rolls on morning, beg showers on radio. When here
(11:14):
we go, Hello fellow Americans.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Bill Silvers here ready willing and able to pester, vex, harass,
mock ridicule. This is a long list, but you get
the idea. It's all about sticking it to the current
liberal clown show in Washington and the Knight of Trump's
addressed to Congress. The Big Top was full, from that
old bag with a blue hair that looks like she's
got Hansel and Gretel locked up in the gingerbread house,
(11:37):
to the Gico caveman who got dragged out of the
room for making a complete and utter tool. And if
that wasn't bad enough, all of them showed their complete
disdain and disrespect for a thirteen year old African American
boy who beat cancer. Let's say it altogether racist. Yes,
the Democrats, they had every opportunity to start turning things around.
(11:57):
They dumped Grandpa Munster and Winebox Betty and soundly beaten.
Anyone else would have examined why they lost and why
smart people were abandoning the party.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
But now.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
They keep doing what they got spanked so badly last
November four. Now, I'm not the one to try to
help the dumb dumbs in opposition, but this is all
about messaging. You need your own version of Mega, something
catchy that tells the world exactly who you are. I'll
say it in advance. You're welcome. So from Jasmine Crockett's
secret library, where she keeps her Ebonics for Dummies and
(12:28):
complete DVD set of Good Times for reference, comes today's
Top ten list the top ten new slogans for the
Democrat Party. Number ten, My transgender son can beat your daughter.
Number nine, We are CNN. Number eight, Join the moral
(12:51):
low Ground. Number seven war Huh? What is it good for?
Money laundering?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Say it again?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Number six, the Home of the Whopper. Number five the
DNC where intelligence is a spectator sport.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Number four. We don't know what a woman is. Number three.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
We're the mean kids from Willie Wonka. Number two give
us another chance. The dumbass is gone, And the number
one new slogan for the Democrat Party is DNCDA.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
You're welcome.
Speaker 10 (13:47):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some chanted Morney. You may hear
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Where's my big bag?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
It can't be topical?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Well well more
Eagles made it in the final four. Mine's made of
check on the ad talk down in Valley, Alabama with Dales,
then Dales.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Then well we're getting back on track here in the den.
It closed up. Try to shape a few things up,
shake a few things up. But back then Thursday we
be back in business, the cooking starting off. We gonna
we gonna roll real slow, but try some try to
(15:25):
get your orders in here. That trover wold be staying
over as quiet as late as we then. But as
we rock on, baby, everything's gonna be alright. And this
is the place to get those potatoes if people ain't
worrying me about the old potatoes. Baby. We got the
best baked potato in the world, and that is easily said.
(15:47):
We got the best baked potato in the world. Our
stuffed baked potato is top. We stuff 'em with chicken,
we stuff 'em with ground beef, and we got a
Mexican potato. And there ain't no things to play with.
And we got fish boxes, three whole catfish boxes for
(16:10):
under eight dollars. We got a sixteen ounce that neither
a sixteen ounces t bone steak dinner under ten dollars.
We got catfish filad. We got a twelve piece jumbo
shrip box for under eight dollars, a twenty piece. I said, look,
you know these are jumbo shrips, So if you want it,
(16:36):
you got it. That day's dead. I been rampling and running,
so we gonna try to get things back and get
'em started. Somebody said, day where you go? Where you did?
I slaid down to Biloxi, Mississippi. I went down to
the Grand Baby, to the nine place, and people down
(16:59):
there tree did it be nice? I got in that
three fort of money slot machine tournament. The event Quarternator
was so nice to everybody. If anybody the wondering who
in the hell I was, I was the one wearing
the overalls and big overall. You know you wear not
some cover alls them some farmers overall. That was me.
(17:22):
Now the day off from day all day, and I
wanted fifty dollars. Somebody won ten five thousand, but the
thing was nice, so I had to give it to
him down at the Grand I'm but I'm headed up.
Now come ahead, this little John Dell tractor. Play and
check out old old old Daddy weeks. He about to
(17:42):
get me a John Deal tractor. So I'm headed up
there some forever in in North Carolina. My over there
for John boyd Now leave well, I'm headed up there.
Now get this tractor, he said, go give it to me.
I know it's something in that though, But you got
your eats if you want them. Yeah they Oh day,
(18:05):
We're kicking it back off and everything gonna be Scottish schooler. Look,
it ain't gonna beat no more trouble. In a few
more week now, I'll be back out there in the
world again. So I don't tell where I might end up.
I know I'll be up in there sec basketball tournament
in Atlanta, but they don't tell where I might end
(18:27):
up twist in and in there again. The DNION.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Good Morning make shows on the radio. Coming up, we
played John Boyd Jepardy for an assortment of swag from
World Lawn Moores makers are the best zero turn moores
on the market. They feature a three year unlimited hours
warning Cawasawk Engines, heavy duty steel decks, Mowood Landscaping's best
kept secrete world. Low over there link at the Big
Show dot Com, hang out and play four ten minutes
(18:59):
where right now From the desk of Tayter Tainman, he
is out there, My said Tayter Moran.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Wonder what all right?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
For those who weren't watching basketball, they were at the movies.
Jason Stadium's thriller A Working Man Came in first place.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
The Box Office debuted there, knock snow White down to
second place.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Hey he could do it.
Speaker 7 (19:20):
Yep, yep, pretty easy.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
The Chosen Last Supper came in third place. The Woman
in the Yard Yeah fourth place, debuted there, and Death
of a Unicorn rounds.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Out the top five.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Oh, Happy ending, Happy ending.
Speaker 7 (19:34):
This Friday. One movie coming out, a Minecraft movie.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yes, Oh, I was on those square heads with Jack Black.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
You go.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
It's a fantasy adventure comedy film as Beefcake, Jason Momoa,
Jack Black and Jennifer Coolidge.
Speaker 7 (19:51):
Jennifer Kerlche.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I don't know, you know Jennifer coolid you know?
Speaker 5 (19:56):
You know she She's in all the movies. No, all right, anyway,
It's about a mysterious portal that pulls four misfits into
the Overworld, a bizarre cubic wonderland that thrives on imagination,
and to get back home, they'll have to master the
terrain while embarking on a magical quest with an unexpected
crafter named Steve.
Speaker 7 (20:17):
I think Jack Black plays Steve.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
So we'll look for the party one of that one
that we didn't know that I.
Speaker 7 (20:26):
Wanted to tell you though. This is you know that
it's a video game.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Minecraft is it's called a sandbox game, right, Randy, And uh,
it provides players a degree of creativity to interact, so
there's really not a predetermined goal of the game. It's
kind of like your kids probably played SIMS or sim
City a Grand Theft Auto three that was kind of
more the time when that came out, when y'all's kids
were small.
Speaker 7 (20:49):
Now it's Minecraft, Roadblocks and Fortnite, So those are all
the same kind of movies.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
All right.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I hope they don't cuss as much as they did
in Grand Theft Auto No, quite as much. The tell Maddie, no,
those are not your public works.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
They said that this movie is designed to appeal to
fans of the game and kid friendly, so it's PG
rated adventure film, so it's pigs. Streaming on Hulu is
the Bob Dylan biopic, which is right now currently twenty
fourth in the rankings and it's been in theaters for
thirteen weeks, so they're hoping to get some money here
(21:24):
on the back end through and Netflix premiere is the
second season of the dramedy Survival of the Thickest, So
that's coming out for y'all who like to watch that
test Kitchen The Next Generation is coming to Amazon.
Speaker 7 (21:38):
It's the second season for that.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
And The Bondsman is having a season premiere on Amazon
and it has Kevin Bacon in it, and they've he
plays a resurrected bounty hunter and he gets an unexpected
second chance at life love and has nearly forgotten musical career.
Speaker 7 (21:53):
So Kevin actually gets it. He has a bad.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
All right, I'll do the show.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I'll get the sign.
Speaker 7 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And the one that we've been streaming at the house
lately is the Uh, the old BBC show Uh, The
Goes Wrong, Show Goes Wrong if you like that kind
of British slapstick kind of thing. It's based on the move,
based on the play of the same name, the Play
That Goes Wrong, And it's about a British comedy amateur
(22:20):
dramatic society performs a series of half hour plays and you've.
Speaker 7 (22:26):
Gotta watch it. You gotta watch it.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Unexpected probably no Benny Hill, not as.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
Many baby dolls, but very similar kind of humor.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Well, thank you very much, Dn mart Kids. Well, let's
get us a winner. Let's play John Boy Jeopardy, let's
review yesterday's question. We found out. According to the Pigle
Packers International Koch Ser pickles are not actually kosher. It's
the word I was trying to pronounce, okay, and peggles
speak Kosher means that this ingredient has been added to
(23:00):
the pickling brine.
Speaker 7 (23:01):
And what is garlic?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Garlic? That's the only thing they say to make those kosher.
They falling for okay, all right? Today's John Boy Jeopardy.
The ape drape, the mudflap, the Camaro cut, and the
Kentucky waterfall are all names that barbers and beauticians have
given to this popular hairstyle.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
Ah, what is a Brazilian wax?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Look at you?
Speaker 8 (23:31):
Yo? No?
Speaker 3 (23:34):
What you all got?
Speaker 5 (23:35):
One?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Eight hundred Big show you told free line, We go
to we get the winter. We play John Boy Jeopardy. Next,
(24:05):
Good Morning, It's a big show on the radio. Run
it too your Tuesday, April first, April.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Foolsday, Tomfoolery Day. I'll behave you first.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
It's a bit box at the Big Show dot Com.
Get you a call, Childers on John Boys, Beach on terage,
her words Beach Karl and right now let's life, yes
live across America.
Speaker 11 (24:32):
It's John boychpany and now your host Coincidentally, eight Drink,
Mutton Flap, Camaro Cut, and Kentucky Waterfall were all former.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Members of his beach entourage. He's John Boy, wait drink.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
As I hated John out of Harrison, Tennessee. Good morning, John.
Speaker 8 (24:56):
Hey, good morning. I know this sens. I'm from Kentucky.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Alright, alright, so the Kentucky Waterfall. Here we go, coming
out of Tennessee. Here eighth grade, mudflap, Camaro cut, among others,
all names at barber's and beauticians have given to this
popular hairstyle. What are you thinking, John, I'm going anywhere.
I said, it is a mullett. Well you didn't know
(25:24):
all about eighth grade.
Speaker 7 (25:28):
That's gonna hurtle, he said.
Speaker 12 (25:30):
We all had them, all right, John, Good work, buddy,
Bigger world lawn More's prize pack will get over to
Harrison for you.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 13 (25:42):
You got a buddy. All right, we're jumping out, catching
you up on your newes. I'll look on the other side. Tank,
Oh garden a mindly American up nack.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Tuesday morning, April fool, stay here on the first. Don't
know anything slipping. Just talk to my fellow disktockys Lod y'all.
I know, y'all, y'll do isn't too late for us?
Oh right, did here we go? Right now, it's time
for an American minute with Tank Holdgard.
Speaker 14 (26:56):
Thanks Reddy, Hey America, Thank hold Guard. Yeah, got a minute.
You know, every time I think the world is as
screwed up as it's ever gonna get, I noticed another
block missing in America's rapidly collapsing world. Jenga tower, another
example of how this hand basket to hell is getting
full of every damn day. I'll make this real easy on.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
You.
Speaker 14 (27:19):
Shut your pie hole and unplug your earbuds, and maybe,
just maybe some smart so will seep into that fat
head of years. Trust me, it's a better use of
your time than doing your own thinking. Want to argue
about it, here's a mirror. So there I was wading
through the wretched refuse of humanity, hit deep in layobouts
(27:41):
and losers, a solitary soul, cast amongst the societal burdens
and intellectually challenged.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
That's right.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
I was at the mall, not by choice, had to.
I was buying a new knife. Why none of your
day business, That's why. So I walk up to the
clerk to pick up my parcel and come face to
face with a smug, little millennial Dingleberry. And he was
(28:11):
standing right under the most pathetic new age haircut I'd
ever seen, poofy in front, shaved on the sides, and
a little braided rat tail.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
In the back.
Speaker 14 (28:23):
What oh hell, I don't know. Maybe I'm old fashioned,
maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe my generation's just
not with it. Man, hell, I still hold the door
for women, no matter how stupid and trashy they are.
But I'll tell you this much. If you're a grown
ass man and you have to go to a salon
(28:44):
instead of a barber that gets your haircut, remind me
to leave the set up for your princess. If the
person cutting your hair is a lot more Paul Lynn
than Paul Newman, I'll bet you've got share seeds in
your Mini Cooper. If it takes longer to cut your hair,
then take a leak a bit. Your closet is full
(29:05):
of lots and lots of shoes. What the hell has
happened to our haircuts America? Cutting a haircut in America
used to be easy. You'd go down to the local
barber shop. You'd buy a coke for a nickel, you'd
read Field and Stream and Boy's Life. And when it
was your turn, a man cuts your hair. He told
(29:28):
you stories about the wars he fought, and the women
he loved, and all the Kamis that you shouldn't vote
for in the next election. He kept his comb in
blue liquid and shaved your face with a straight razor,
and it cost you two bits and ten minutes of
your time. Today you have to make an appointment two
months in advance. They offer you a cappuccino for ten bucks.
(29:51):
The magazines are Alternative, Lifestyle and People. The person cutting
your hair looks like a man, but talks like a chick,
and sometimes it's the other way around. You have to
guess whether you address it as sir or man. And
(30:12):
then they tell you stories, stories about the reality shows
they watch, which Kardashian they hate, and all the Kamis
they're voting for in the next election. They have two
hundred and fifty different combes, all for different things, and
they keep them in a steam sterilizer because of the
legion of disease ridden yuppies. They service every damn day,
(30:33):
and if you have to take a squirt, well, there's
an all gender bathroom so you can avoid your bladder
next to a six foot five inch redhead named Bernard
that wants to talk ball scores while scoring your well,
you get the picture. All this for only one hundred
and fifty bucks. Sorry Choki for that kind of Mullah
(30:56):
usually get a haircut plus a hot oil massage from
a busty Russian woman whose name I can't pronounce with
hands the size of catcherments, plus a hand sandwich and
the Joe DiMaggio rookie card.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, that really happened.
Speaker 14 (31:12):
It used to be only two kinds of haircuts in America,
parted on the left and parted on the right. If
you parted it down the middle, you were a geek
and shunned by society. Today, the sky's the limit. Mohawk,
fro hawk, mohawk. You can get design shaved into your head,
dyed pink, lacquered to look like gills, half shaved, half
(31:35):
permed like a cute tip on Chemo. Dear, sweet Baby
Jesus and Bear Bryant makes me miss the mullet and
the comb over. You know, the good old days. Oh Dear,
Look at the time I've overstayed my welcome once again.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Tough crap, and you're welcome until next time.
Speaker 14 (32:00):
This is thank hold guard, stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Good morning. That's a big shown a radio, my rev.
Right here, Rabbis hit. That's all. That's holl that's how
that's all.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
That's all. That's all. That's all, you know.
Speaker 7 (32:57):
I have feelings to talk.
Speaker 15 (33:00):
Well, let me press on in spite of Overwhoman opposition.
So far, good money there, John boy, I'm saying, I say,
mister personal take aught Randy, Hey, Jack, you would never
say nothing like that to me, would you.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Never?
Speaker 15 (33:16):
Earnestly since hair hair, y'all heard the phrase bats in
the belfry right, well, we're the Blessed Hope Baptist Church
been having that very probably we have an actual family
of bats. They've been living up in the belfry.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
See.
Speaker 15 (33:28):
Ronald, the groundskeeper came in to give a progress before.
I told him flush them bats out there right now.
He said, well, I didn't hear no luck. I grabbed
up that old tom cat had been hanging around and
locked him up in the bell tower with all them bats.
I said, well, how to go? He said, not too good.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Came back next morning.
Speaker 15 (33:45):
There's a little piece of cat hair all over the floor.
The cat was gone, but the bats were still there.
So I sent the head Deacon, ravend Jones out to
see if he could do something about the bats. He
came back, said, well, I thought I had it licked there.
I got me a big net when up there and
scooped all of them up. Then I stuck him in
a big sack and took him way out in the
woods and turned the blues. I said, h that's a
(34:06):
good player out of work. He said, not too good.
They followed me when I left the woods. Bats ended
up getting back to the church for I did so. Finally,
I said, y'all, nerve racking, I kind of had the
same reaction that you had when I came here. I said,
y'all get out the way I'll handle this. I went
up in the tower, flushed all the bats out, baptized
over one of them, and put all their names on
(34:27):
the membership role. Sure enough, we ain't seen a one
of them sitting. Cats closed next key, and I'm speaking
of a little bit of closer hair in the upstairs area.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Ladsa drummings, Hey.
Speaker 16 (34:38):
He's goofy all right, back of that rama, y'all.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Hey, let's talk about.
Speaker 16 (34:46):
Me, y'all tell you? Oh yeah, I'm supping down. But
I was poor growing up. Whole bow eyes, poor all eyes, dirt,
poor ies, poor.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Hell Paul was it?
Speaker 7 (34:58):
Thanks fascin?
Speaker 6 (34:58):
Well?
Speaker 16 (34:59):
If I wasn't or a boy, I wouldn't have nothing
to play with oh that much? Look with girls either?
Oh you talking about bad luck? Girl fund with the
other day said come on over, there's nobody home. Well
I went over, sure enough, what nobody home? But during sex,
my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
What dass?
Speaker 16 (35:18):
I came home early from work. I saw God jogging deckhead.
I said, hey, buddy, why are you doing that? He said,
because you came home early. I always been a rough
day too. I'll talk about that in a minute. It's
rough childhood. It's ugly as a kid. I know, as
harf you flee, but don't who I sugg you?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Okay?
Speaker 16 (35:33):
Yeah, I was ugly when I played in the sandbox.
The cat kept covering me up. I can tell my
parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
At a radio.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
I said, an ugly baby?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How I was an ugly baby. Whoo you look at by.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Well my mother?
Speaker 16 (35:50):
My mother would breastfeed me. Oh my brother won't it
to myself.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Thank you ray much.
Speaker 16 (35:55):
Mother said she's always she just liked me as a friend.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh, I'm ugly.
Speaker 16 (35:59):
My father care around the picture of the kid who
came with his wallet. When I was more, the doctor
came out to the weight room, said my daddy, I'm
very sorry. We did everything we could. Buddy pulled through.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Ugly.
Speaker 16 (36:11):
My mother had more than sickness after I was born.
I remember the time I was kidnap. Said a piece
of my finger to daddy. He said he wanted more profu.
I went to the pet shop. When I was a teenager.
People kept asking how big I give. I wouldn't see
my doctor, said doctor. Every morning I get up looking
the bear, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?
He said, I don't know about your eyesight's perfect?
Speaker 15 (36:33):
Can I stop now? I'm fraid I keep on playing drum.
People gonna think I'm Pentecosta.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Wait, we got.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Good morning.
Speaker 17 (36:45):
There's a big shoulder radio. Helly you Lindsey premise hreh.
When I'm on mid side of the pond, I get
my daily deuce of culture and entification every morning from
these two delightful lads, JOm Boy and Believe right here
on the big Ship. You know, I hate to break
it to you, boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees. Well I thought it was Bunny.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Good Morning. It's a big show on the radio. Can
call down the ad talk on Dal's. Then Auburn one
of the final four. Another Southeastern Conference team that would
be Florida Florida Gators, Auburn Tigers, Blue devil in the
(38:02):
Houston Texans.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
I can't remember what they're what they're doing, don't cover here?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, the Texan boys, you gotta going on to or
we got you all right? Where are you the stuff? Yes,
John Boy's Wonderful Bang number one hundred and thirty seven,
A hardback copy of the book The Whole Truth about
Spring Turkey Hunting, according to Ronnie con Strickland from Aussie
Oak autograph to you personally, our winner, a Grand Slam holder.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Come on, come bore.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Oh oh, so I'll get your name in the hat
at the Big Show dot com checking out Hey, another
buddy news Cindy Balcom from knee deep in Bluegrass under
the John Boy and Billy Radio Network Umbrella man love us.
I'm Cindy. She will be the guest announcer at the
(38:55):
Grand Old Opry on Saturday, April the twelve. Well, our
friends moving around Nashville. You're getting the opprey see our girl.
Sindy Balcom gets announcer of the Grand Ole Loppery Saturday,
April the twelve. And by the way, that it is
the Houston Cougars tald that's case. That would be Houston
(39:19):
the final four team. You got it, Houston Cougar Go. Okay,
I go, I'll what we got? Oh yeah, A sorry
about celebrating Valley Alabama Auburn being in it. Thinkdale's finally
got some wind of us calling his ad talk. Let's
see all about it in minutes Big Joe Rose on
(39:42):
Good Morning, got the big show on the radio coming up.
We played beat the Blonde for one hundred twenty dollars
worth of Bullshot cleaning products made in the USA. Truck
drivers keep America moving, and bullshot make sure they look
good doing it. Find Bullsnout the truck stops across America.
Download that Bullsnot app. Just click on the leak when
you hit the big Show dot com. Hang on play
for it in minutes. First this think that call down
(40:05):
the valley. You gotta hooked up at Dale's Den.
Speaker 6 (40:08):
Dale's then ad talk. I'm glad you got a chance
to get around and listening into Dale's Den. Ad talk. Hey,
inside of Dale's Den is a place to be. You
check it out. Let me go down a little negative role.
Then I'm gonna bring you back and put you on
a positive track. But I got sometimes you have to
(40:30):
go down a little negative roads to get things. Get
the pot cookie, you got to have heat. Outside of
Dale's Den is not the place to be. We don't
do anything outside of Dale's Den. There stretch out in
the parking lot. If you come to Dale's, then Dee
prepared to come in. Sitting around in the parking lot
(40:52):
is a no.
Speaker 8 (40:52):
No.
Speaker 6 (40:53):
Sitting around in cars is they No?
Speaker 3 (40:55):
No.
Speaker 6 (40:56):
I'm being honest and frank and just straight to the point,
is I and be if you got to come here
and sit in the car or sit outside and talk
and whatever you do, please please don't come to Day's Dend.
I'm being honest. I don't want you to come here.
(41:16):
But if you want to come inside of Dal's then
while we do our business at and I guess that's
the reason you come here anyway, to come inside of
the Day's then please you'll welcome, and I hope you
have a good time. But if you come on on
the outside a cell phone sitting out in the calls
and don't getting nothing out of that, and next thing
(41:38):
you know, you're out there because of the stud man
and waking up my neighbors and that I'm getting distubd.
But please, if you've got to come to Dale's Dening,
be prepared to come on the inside of Dale's Den,
Thank you very much. I want to know who in
the hell is John Boss in some radio stations and
(42:00):
if John Boy and Son somebody keep playing my mess Hey,
John Boy, what's up? Day's Dealian the place to be?
Got some visitors down from Washington the other day. My peoples,
he'll say, they was the nicest to bend down. Some
lawyer friends are there s They were real nice. Hey,
(42:21):
I don't know your name, Day's Dan Place to Be.
We got some of the best ees. Got still getting
them shrimps. Hey, don't have to us the little confrontations
with the hell they get. They still let me have 'em,
and I'm still letting you have 'em. Getting the best
of shrimp Trump so big you'd take two hands to
(42:44):
hold it. Unna tell you. I wouldn't tell you, no. Lie.
Fangers calls days Dalian with the place to be, check
us out, and Hey, I hope your football team ain't
winning until you play awful O Eagles.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
You go down, boy, Eagles all the way for you,
Then a y'all blonde all the way, get tighter up
to the mic. Time to beat the blonde. One eight
hundred big shows. You were told, free lot, we'll get
to contestant and play next
Good morning, the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Hangout all right, listen you moug it's time to button
your yapp say, I'm trying to listen to these two clowns,
John Boyn Belly on the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Yeah, the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big.
It's enormous. Hey, he's adorable, shoving on the hopping out on.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
It is Tuesday, April first, What it's April Foolsday? Look
how we got a mine out?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
All right?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
You know what happens. I'm stupid this jockey he's gonna
get fired. Are we looking at him? I made it
forty some years so you through forty April fools Day
we have.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
I don't recall ever doing anything April Fools prink was.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I remember there was on this jockey in Charlotte, North
Carolina through to your Chuck Booze. Oh you know we
met jug many many times. He got he's become a
good friend. He got it, got fired or kicked off.
I don't know whether suspended or he came back. He
said one of the stations when he said the banks
were running out of money.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Yeah, that wasn't fun. It's a federal offense.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
Choker's on. This comedy thing is not easy. I've been
trying to tell you all that.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Then he threw a coffee cup at his co host.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
And went home. Oh all right, so let's try not
to do anything stupid. Hey, National tom Foolery Day as well.
That's the lesser holiday of the April fool gendre. I guess, huh,
tom foolery. Well, we got enough of your tomfoolery, all right,
(02:15):
come up with a good disc jockey prank that won't
get as fire there, or maybe it will get as
fired well maybe this point. Yeah, all right, National one
cent Day, and we're gonna do away with the pennies.
I know Trump was talking about that.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
I know we spend a lot more making them than there.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
We said to the man, let's go ahead, I'll step
over one now. Raver never would Ray pick up Benny.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
I heard conversation that, you know, if we all just
went into our couches, and you know, into that big
jar that you've been saving all your change, pull all
the twenties and give them back, we probably wouldn't have
to print The many always got pennies just laying around
their house, and big.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Jars and still get them.
Speaker 4 (02:56):
Just get them, take.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Them to the bank, get you know, get you some
silvers or dollars you have that's hoarding all the pennies
because we don't use them, so we've cast.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
That's very true.
Speaker 4 (03:06):
I know you still carry cash, but I really don't.
I never use cash anymore.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, I know you're lead the way to that. Cash
on society, worship the beasts and money. It's still money.
It's just not be pigging right now. Later I'll be
warning you, Oh you didn't make it. National sour Dough
(03:33):
bread Day. Let's get behind that like a good old
sour dough bread man. And this today's takedown Tobacco National
Day of Action. All right, they've been doing it what
we're supposed to do. Go attack some farmers. Is that
the way to do it now?
Speaker 6 (03:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Good luck? All right? So okay, we got three dates
in history saved up. Those will be very important. We'll
get the winning beginning with those. We're away big shows
on the radio, Good morning Big shows on a radio.
First prize, pie It Proud sponsor LS Tractor. We got
some cool swag includes a hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler,
(04:15):
and the key, Jane, go to lstractor USA dot com.
You'll find your local dealer. Learn why customers start blue
and stay blue. Three dates in history where we get
our categories. Here we go April the first Tomfoolery Day,
and O four Google introduced Gmail. The launchow was met
with skepticism on account of the launch date. Oh yeah, Dota,
(04:39):
I did a launch a new platform on April Fool's Day,
and Google was.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Famous for doing April fools jokes?
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Is that right?
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Oh yeah, stupid Google's all right. Let's move up to
twenty nineteen. In the US, online sales overtook retail sales
for the first time for general merchandise stores. That's like
a Target Kmart, stuff like that.
Speaker 5 (05:01):
At the words does the Amazon all those guys started
to People don't go out to the stores.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Anymore around twenty nineteen, six years ago. I didn't believe it.
I thought it was an April Fool's break. Twenty twenty four,
Florida's population reached twenty three million, making it the third
most popular state in the US.
Speaker 7 (05:21):
I believe it.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
That's the right party. Thousand people And there you go.
There's our categories one eight hundred, big show you told
free live. Come on we play out birds next good
(06:00):
this will big show on the radio, Rolling through your
Tuesday April first our feature track for to make Show
bid Box Carl schilders on, John Boys, Beach on Durrag
just in time for spring. What they do mainly act stupid.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
It's entirely different.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Searchmage words, Beach Carl hit the bed box, had to make.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Show, not God mat out on theirs.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
There's one gang.
Speaker 8 (06:25):
It'll go uppers. Let's play Upburst. It's the game that
anyone can win. John Boy and Billy to give the
prizes from the big prize being. Let's go contested number one.
This should it be a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Win you're playing Upburst. Have a hurry up and.
Speaker 8 (06:48):
Guest time you love the best time you love a
big shots.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Let's say, hey the girl from Farms, South Carolina.
Speaker 9 (07:00):
We hew, Hey, John Boy, there you go.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
We doing the gay welcome in here, buddy. Well let's
see if we can get no winning beginning. Going to
go right through you in Florence. You ready, yes, sir?
Five seconds? Three email domains ready? Okay, email heart fail
our cloud okay? Yeah is that right?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, I knew you wouldn't I know a Gmail because
my wife got one? Man I got I got a cloud? Okay,
all right, that's true. Okay, Well, let's move up to
twenty nineteen. Gary, give us three places to shop online?
Ready go?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Uh Amazon?
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Wait for her? About body path past body? I missed
that one out of the game. Nobody the order, no
body in bass. He's looking at me crazy. It's one
of your shopping hotspots, GIRs. Well, now for the wind.
(08:16):
Give us three things in Florida? Ready to go?
Speaker 5 (08:21):
Oh, let's see alligators?
Speaker 6 (08:23):
Are people? Beacon here?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
You and sons the third most popular state in the
US just reached that one year ago today? How about that?
And Taylor says she believes it.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
I believe it?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
And why is that I believe it?
Speaker 7 (08:45):
You try to move around not in Florida.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
A There were good work, buddy. You got to make
old well less tractor prize bag heading down Florence for you.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
Okay, thank you, oh boy, you all have.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
A blessed day. Thank you, my boy. Kiss wife and
hang on. Why the money, y'all? Is the top of
your news? I washed about twenty meters away more than
Bill Simmer's Top ten. You're known to miss good morning.
(09:52):
That's a big show on the radio. Were rolling through
your Tuesday April first. Don't do anything foolish, ready, Joe alight? Well,
oh yeah, man, I want to tell you all John
Boy's wonderful Thing number one hundred and thirty seven. What
it is. It's a hardback copy of the book The
(10:12):
Whole Truth about Spring Turkey Hunting. According to Ronnie K. Strickland,
the legend from Marco. Look me around to get my
grand slam, and I will autograph the book, make it
personal to our winner. So it just hit the Big
Show dot com. Get your name in a hat. We'll
give it away at the beginning of the final hour
(10:33):
of the Friday Big Show, right dad, Bill Silver's gonna
try to help the d NC. Listen twenty minutes Big
Shoe rolls on morning, beg showers on radio. When here
(11:14):
we go, Hello fellow Americans.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Bill Silvers here ready willing and able to pester, vex, harass,
mock ridicule. This is a long list, but you get
the idea. It's all about sticking it to the current
liberal clown show in Washington and the Knight of Trump's
addressed to Congress. The Big Top was full, from that
old bag with a blue hair that looks like she's
got Hansel and Gretel locked up in the gingerbread house,
(11:37):
to the Gico caveman who got dragged out of the
room for making a complete and utter tool. And if
that wasn't bad enough, all of them showed their complete
disdain and disrespect for a thirteen year old African American
boy who beat cancer. Let's say it altogether racist. Yes,
the Democrats, they had every opportunity to start turning things around.
(11:57):
They dumped Grandpa Munster and Winebox Betty and soundly beaten.
Anyone else would have examined why they lost and why
smart people were abandoning the party.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
But now.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
They keep doing what they got spanked so badly last
November four. Now, I'm not the one to try to
help the dumb dumbs in opposition, but this is all
about messaging. You need your own version of Mega, something
catchy that tells the world exactly who you are. I'll
say it in advance. You're welcome. So from Jasmine Crockett's
secret library, where she keeps her Ebonics for Dummies and
(12:28):
complete DVD set of Good Times for reference, comes today's
Top ten list the top ten new slogans for the
Democrat Party. Number ten, My transgender son can beat your daughter.
Number nine, We are CNN. Number eight, Join the moral
(12:51):
low Ground. Number seven war Huh? What is it good for?
Money laundering?
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Say it again?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Number six, the Home of the Whopper. Number five the
DNC where intelligence is a spectator sport.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
Number four. We don't know what a woman is. Number three.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
We're the mean kids from Willie Wonka. Number two give
us another chance. The dumbass is gone, And the number
one new slogan for the Democrat Party is DNCDA.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
You're welcome.
Speaker 10 (13:47):
Good morning, rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some chanted Morney. You may hear
the Big Show.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Where's my big bag?
Speaker 3 (14:09):
It can't be topical?
Speaker 1 (14:46):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. Well well more
Eagles made it in the final four. Mine's made of
check on the ad talk down in Valley, Alabama with Dales,
then Dales.
Speaker 6 (15:02):
Then well we're getting back on track here in the den.
It closed up. Try to shape a few things up,
shake a few things up. But back then Thursday we
be back in business, the cooking starting off. We gonna
we gonna roll real slow, but try some try to
(15:25):
get your orders in here. That trover wold be staying
over as quiet as late as we then. But as
we rock on, baby, everything's gonna be alright. And this
is the place to get those potatoes if people ain't
worrying me about the old potatoes. Baby. We got the
best baked potato in the world, and that is easily said.
(15:47):
We got the best baked potato in the world. Our
stuffed baked potato is top. We stuff 'em with chicken,
we stuff 'em with ground beef, and we got a
Mexican potato. And there ain't no things to play with.
And we got fish boxes, three whole catfish boxes for
(16:10):
under eight dollars. We got a sixteen ounce that neither
a sixteen ounces t bone steak dinner under ten dollars.
We got catfish filad. We got a twelve piece jumbo
shrip box for under eight dollars, a twenty piece. I said, look,
you know these are jumbo shrips, So if you want it,
(16:36):
you got it. That day's dead. I been rampling and running,
so we gonna try to get things back and get
'em started. Somebody said, day where you go? Where you did?
I slaid down to Biloxi, Mississippi. I went down to
the Grand Baby, to the nine place, and people down
(16:59):
there tree did it be nice? I got in that
three fort of money slot machine tournament. The event Quarternator
was so nice to everybody. If anybody the wondering who
in the hell I was, I was the one wearing
the overalls and big overall. You know you wear not
some cover alls them some farmers overall. That was me.
(17:22):
Now the day off from day all day, and I
wanted fifty dollars. Somebody won ten five thousand, but the
thing was nice, so I had to give it to
him down at the Grand I'm but I'm headed up.
Now come ahead, this little John Dell tractor. Play and
check out old old old Daddy weeks. He about to
(17:42):
get me a John Deal tractor. So I'm headed up
there some forever in in North Carolina. My over there
for John boyd Now leave well, I'm headed up there.
Now get this tractor, he said, go give it to me.
I know it's something in that though, But you got
your eats if you want them. Yeah they Oh day,
(18:05):
We're kicking it back off and everything gonna be Scottish schooler. Look,
it ain't gonna beat no more trouble. In a few
more week now, I'll be back out there in the
world again. So I don't tell where I might end up.
I know I'll be up in there sec basketball tournament
in Atlanta, but they don't tell where I might end
(18:27):
up twist in and in there again. The DNION.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Good Morning make shows on the radio. Coming up, we
played John Boyd Jepardy for an assortment of swag from
World Lawn Moores makers are the best zero turn moores
on the market. They feature a three year unlimited hours
warning Cawasawk Engines, heavy duty steel decks, Mowood Landscaping's best
kept secrete world. Low over there link at the Big
Show dot Com, hang out and play four ten minutes
(18:59):
where right now From the desk of Tayter Tainman, he
is out there, My said Tayter Moran.
Speaker 3 (19:05):
Wonder what all right?
Speaker 5 (19:07):
For those who weren't watching basketball, they were at the movies.
Jason Stadium's thriller A Working Man Came in first place.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
The Box Office debuted there, knock snow White down to
second place.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Hey he could do it.
Speaker 7 (19:20):
Yep, yep, pretty easy.
Speaker 5 (19:22):
The Chosen Last Supper came in third place. The Woman
in the Yard Yeah fourth place, debuted there, and Death
of a Unicorn rounds.
Speaker 7 (19:30):
Out the top five.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Oh, Happy ending, Happy ending.
Speaker 7 (19:34):
This Friday. One movie coming out, a Minecraft movie.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yes, Oh, I was on those square heads with Jack Black.
Speaker 3 (19:41):
You go.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
It's a fantasy adventure comedy film as Beefcake, Jason Momoa,
Jack Black and Jennifer Coolidge.
Speaker 7 (19:51):
Jennifer Kerlche.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
I don't know, you know Jennifer coolid you know?
Speaker 5 (19:56):
You know she She's in all the movies. No, all right, anyway,
It's about a mysterious portal that pulls four misfits into
the Overworld, a bizarre cubic wonderland that thrives on imagination,
and to get back home, they'll have to master the
terrain while embarking on a magical quest with an unexpected
crafter named Steve.
Speaker 7 (20:17):
I think Jack Black plays Steve.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
So we'll look for the party one of that one
that we didn't know that I.
Speaker 7 (20:26):
Wanted to tell you though. This is you know that
it's a video game.
Speaker 5 (20:29):
Minecraft is it's called a sandbox game, right, Randy, And uh,
it provides players a degree of creativity to interact, so
there's really not a predetermined goal of the game. It's
kind of like your kids probably played SIMS or sim
City a Grand Theft Auto three that was kind of
more the time when that came out, when y'all's kids
were small.
Speaker 7 (20:49):
Now it's Minecraft, Roadblocks and Fortnite, So those are all
the same kind of movies.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
All right.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
I hope they don't cuss as much as they did
in Grand Theft Auto No, quite as much. The tell Maddie, no,
those are not your public works.
Speaker 5 (21:03):
They said that this movie is designed to appeal to
fans of the game and kid friendly, so it's PG
rated adventure film, so it's pigs. Streaming on Hulu is
the Bob Dylan biopic, which is right now currently twenty
fourth in the rankings and it's been in theaters for
thirteen weeks, so they're hoping to get some money here
(21:24):
on the back end through and Netflix premiere is the
second season of the dramedy Survival of the Thickest, So
that's coming out for y'all who like to watch that
test Kitchen The Next Generation is coming to Amazon.
Speaker 7 (21:38):
It's the second season for that.
Speaker 5 (21:39):
And The Bondsman is having a season premiere on Amazon
and it has Kevin Bacon in it, and they've he
plays a resurrected bounty hunter and he gets an unexpected
second chance at life love and has nearly forgotten musical career.
Speaker 7 (21:53):
So Kevin actually gets it. He has a bad.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
All right, I'll do the show.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
I'll get the sign.
Speaker 7 (21:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And the one that we've been streaming at the house
lately is the Uh, the old BBC show Uh, The
Goes Wrong, Show Goes Wrong if you like that kind
of British slapstick kind of thing. It's based on the move,
based on the play of the same name, the Play
That Goes Wrong, And it's about a British comedy amateur
(22:20):
dramatic society performs a series of half hour plays and you've.
Speaker 7 (22:26):
Gotta watch it. You gotta watch it.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Unexpected probably no Benny Hill, not as.
Speaker 5 (22:33):
Many baby dolls, but very similar kind of humor.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Well, thank you very much, Dn mart Kids. Well, let's
get us a winner. Let's play John Boy Jeopardy, let's
review yesterday's question. We found out. According to the Pigle
Packers International Koch Ser pickles are not actually kosher. It's
the word I was trying to pronounce, okay, and peggles
speak Kosher means that this ingredient has been added to
(23:00):
the pickling brine.
Speaker 7 (23:01):
And what is garlic?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Garlic? That's the only thing they say to make those kosher.
They falling for okay, all right? Today's John Boy Jeopardy.
The ape drape, the mudflap, the Camaro cut, and the
Kentucky waterfall are all names that barbers and beauticians have
given to this popular hairstyle.
Speaker 7 (23:24):
Ah, what is a Brazilian wax?
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Look at you?
Speaker 8 (23:31):
Yo? No?
Speaker 3 (23:34):
What you all got?
Speaker 5 (23:35):
One?
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Eight hundred Big show you told free line, We go
to we get the winter. We play John Boy Jeopardy. Next,
(24:05):
Good Morning, It's a big show on the radio. Run
it too your Tuesday, April first, April.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Foolsday, Tomfoolery Day. I'll behave you first.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
It's a bit box at the Big Show dot Com.
Get you a call, Childers on John Boys, Beach on terage,
her words Beach Karl and right now let's life, yes
live across America.
Speaker 11 (24:32):
It's John boychpany and now your host Coincidentally, eight Drink,
Mutton Flap, Camaro Cut, and Kentucky Waterfall were all former.
Speaker 4 (24:42):
Members of his beach entourage. He's John Boy, wait drink.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
As I hated John out of Harrison, Tennessee. Good morning, John.
Speaker 8 (24:56):
Hey, good morning. I know this sens. I'm from Kentucky.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Alright, alright, so the Kentucky Waterfall. Here we go, coming
out of Tennessee. Here eighth grade, mudflap, Camaro cut, among others,
all names at barber's and beauticians have given to this
popular hairstyle. What are you thinking, John, I'm going anywhere.
I said, it is a mullett. Well you didn't know
(25:24):
all about eighth grade.
Speaker 7 (25:28):
That's gonna hurtle, he said.
Speaker 12 (25:30):
We all had them, all right, John, Good work, buddy,
Bigger world lawn More's prize pack will get over to
Harrison for you.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Thank you.
Speaker 13 (25:42):
You got a buddy. All right, we're jumping out, catching
you up on your newes. I'll look on the other side. Tank,
Oh garden a mindly American up nack.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Tuesday morning, April fool, stay here on the first. Don't
know anything slipping. Just talk to my fellow disktockys Lod y'all.
I know, y'all, y'll do isn't too late for us?
Oh right, did here we go? Right now, it's time
for an American minute with Tank Holdgard.
Speaker 14 (26:56):
Thanks Reddy, Hey America, Thank hold Guard. Yeah, got a minute.
You know, every time I think the world is as
screwed up as it's ever gonna get, I noticed another
block missing in America's rapidly collapsing world. Jenga tower, another
example of how this hand basket to hell is getting
full of every damn day. I'll make this real easy on.
Speaker 3 (27:19):
You.
Speaker 14 (27:19):
Shut your pie hole and unplug your earbuds, and maybe,
just maybe some smart so will seep into that fat
head of years. Trust me, it's a better use of
your time than doing your own thinking. Want to argue
about it, here's a mirror. So there I was wading
through the wretched refuse of humanity, hit deep in layobouts
(27:41):
and losers, a solitary soul, cast amongst the societal burdens
and intellectually challenged.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
That's right.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
I was at the mall, not by choice, had to.
I was buying a new knife. Why none of your
day business, That's why. So I walk up to the
clerk to pick up my parcel and come face to
face with a smug, little millennial Dingleberry. And he was
(28:11):
standing right under the most pathetic new age haircut I'd
ever seen, poofy in front, shaved on the sides, and
a little braided rat tail.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
In the back.
Speaker 14 (28:23):
What oh hell, I don't know. Maybe I'm old fashioned,
maybe I'm living in the past. Maybe my generation's just
not with it. Man, hell, I still hold the door
for women, no matter how stupid and trashy they are.
But I'll tell you this much. If you're a grown
ass man and you have to go to a salon
(28:44):
instead of a barber that gets your haircut, remind me
to leave the set up for your princess. If the
person cutting your hair is a lot more Paul Lynn
than Paul Newman, I'll bet you've got share seeds in
your Mini Cooper. If it takes longer to cut your hair,
then take a leak a bit. Your closet is full
(29:05):
of lots and lots of shoes. What the hell has
happened to our haircuts America? Cutting a haircut in America
used to be easy. You'd go down to the local
barber shop. You'd buy a coke for a nickel, you'd
read Field and Stream and Boy's Life. And when it
was your turn, a man cuts your hair. He told
(29:28):
you stories about the wars he fought, and the women
he loved, and all the Kamis that you shouldn't vote
for in the next election. He kept his comb in
blue liquid and shaved your face with a straight razor,
and it cost you two bits and ten minutes of
your time. Today you have to make an appointment two
months in advance. They offer you a cappuccino for ten bucks.
(29:51):
The magazines are Alternative, Lifestyle and People. The person cutting
your hair looks like a man, but talks like a chick,
and sometimes it's the other way around. You have to
guess whether you address it as sir or man. And
(30:12):
then they tell you stories, stories about the reality shows
they watch, which Kardashian they hate, and all the Kamis
they're voting for in the next election. They have two
hundred and fifty different combes, all for different things, and
they keep them in a steam sterilizer because of the
legion of disease ridden yuppies. They service every damn day,
(30:33):
and if you have to take a squirt, well, there's
an all gender bathroom so you can avoid your bladder
next to a six foot five inch redhead named Bernard
that wants to talk ball scores while scoring your well,
you get the picture. All this for only one hundred
and fifty bucks. Sorry Choki for that kind of Mullah
(30:56):
usually get a haircut plus a hot oil massage from
a busty Russian woman whose name I can't pronounce with
hands the size of catcherments, plus a hand sandwich and
the Joe DiMaggio rookie card.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
Yeah, that really happened.
Speaker 14 (31:12):
It used to be only two kinds of haircuts in America,
parted on the left and parted on the right. If
you parted it down the middle, you were a geek
and shunned by society. Today, the sky's the limit. Mohawk,
fro hawk, mohawk. You can get design shaved into your head,
dyed pink, lacquered to look like gills, half shaved, half
(31:35):
permed like a cute tip on Chemo. Dear, sweet Baby
Jesus and Bear Bryant makes me miss the mullet and
the comb over. You know, the good old days. Oh Dear,
Look at the time I've overstayed my welcome once again.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Tough crap, and you're welcome until next time.
Speaker 14 (32:00):
This is thank hold guard, stop sucking America.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Good morning. That's a big shown a radio, my rev.
Right here, Rabbis hit. That's all. That's holl that's how
that's all.
Speaker 3 (32:53):
That's all. That's all. That's all, you know.
Speaker 7 (32:57):
I have feelings to talk.
Speaker 15 (33:00):
Well, let me press on in spite of Overwhoman opposition.
So far, good money there, John boy, I'm saying, I say,
mister personal take aught Randy, Hey, Jack, you would never
say nothing like that to me, would you.
Speaker 5 (33:15):
Never?
Speaker 15 (33:16):
Earnestly since hair hair, y'all heard the phrase bats in
the belfry right, well, we're the Blessed Hope Baptist Church
been having that very probably we have an actual family
of bats. They've been living up in the belfry.
Speaker 3 (33:28):
See.
Speaker 15 (33:28):
Ronald, the groundskeeper came in to give a progress before.
I told him flush them bats out there right now.
He said, well, I didn't hear no luck. I grabbed
up that old tom cat had been hanging around and
locked him up in the bell tower with all them bats.
I said, well, how to go? He said, not too good.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Came back next morning.
Speaker 15 (33:45):
There's a little piece of cat hair all over the floor.
The cat was gone, but the bats were still there.
So I sent the head Deacon, ravend Jones out to
see if he could do something about the bats. He
came back, said, well, I thought I had it licked there.
I got me a big net when up there and
scooped all of them up. Then I stuck him in
a big sack and took him way out in the
woods and turned the blues. I said, h that's a
(34:06):
good player out of work. He said, not too good.
They followed me when I left the woods. Bats ended
up getting back to the church for I did so. Finally,
I said, y'all, nerve racking, I kind of had the
same reaction that you had when I came here. I said,
y'all get out the way I'll handle this. I went
up in the tower, flushed all the bats out, baptized
over one of them, and put all their names on
(34:27):
the membership role. Sure enough, we ain't seen a one
of them sitting. Cats closed next key, and I'm speaking
of a little bit of closer hair in the upstairs area.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
Ladsa drummings, Hey.
Speaker 16 (34:38):
He's goofy all right, back of that rama, y'all.
Speaker 3 (34:45):
Hey, let's talk about.
Speaker 16 (34:46):
Me, y'all tell you? Oh yeah, I'm supping down. But
I was poor growing up. Whole bow eyes, poor all eyes, dirt,
poor ies, poor.
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Hell Paul was it?
Speaker 7 (34:58):
Thanks fascin?
Speaker 6 (34:58):
Well?
Speaker 16 (34:59):
If I wasn't or a boy, I wouldn't have nothing
to play with oh that much? Look with girls either?
Oh you talking about bad luck? Girl fund with the
other day said come on over, there's nobody home. Well
I went over, sure enough, what nobody home? But during sex,
my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the
other night she called me from a hotel.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
What dass?
Speaker 16 (35:18):
I came home early from work. I saw God jogging deckhead.
I said, hey, buddy, why are you doing that? He said,
because you came home early. I always been a rough
day too. I'll talk about that in a minute. It's
rough childhood. It's ugly as a kid. I know, as
harf you flee, but don't who I sugg you?
Speaker 3 (35:33):
Okay?
Speaker 16 (35:33):
Yeah, I was ugly when I played in the sandbox.
The cat kept covering me up. I can tell my
parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
At a radio.
Speaker 3 (35:44):
I said, an ugly baby?
Speaker 1 (35:45):
How I was an ugly baby. Whoo you look at by.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Well my mother?
Speaker 16 (35:50):
My mother would breastfeed me. Oh my brother won't it
to myself.
Speaker 3 (35:54):
Thank you ray much.
Speaker 16 (35:55):
Mother said she's always she just liked me as a friend.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
Oh, I'm ugly.
Speaker 16 (35:59):
My father care around the picture of the kid who
came with his wallet. When I was more, the doctor
came out to the weight room, said my daddy, I'm
very sorry. We did everything we could. Buddy pulled through.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
Ugly.
Speaker 16 (36:11):
My mother had more than sickness after I was born.
I remember the time I was kidnap. Said a piece
of my finger to daddy. He said he wanted more profu.
I went to the pet shop. When I was a teenager.
People kept asking how big I give. I wouldn't see
my doctor, said doctor. Every morning I get up looking
the bear, I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?
He said, I don't know about your eyesight's perfect?
Speaker 15 (36:33):
Can I stop now? I'm fraid I keep on playing drum.
People gonna think I'm Pentecosta.
Speaker 6 (36:39):
Wait, we got.
Speaker 1 (36:45):
Good morning.
Speaker 17 (36:45):
There's a big shoulder radio. Helly you Lindsey premise hreh.
When I'm on mid side of the pond, I get
my daily deuce of culture and entification every morning from
these two delightful lads, JOm Boy and Believe right here
on the big Ship. You know, I hate to break
it to you, boys, but where I come from, you're
all Yankees. Well I thought it was Bunny.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Good Morning. It's a big show on the radio. Can
call down the ad talk on Dal's. Then Auburn one
of the final four. Another Southeastern Conference team that would
be Florida Florida Gators, Auburn Tigers, Blue devil in the
(38:02):
Houston Texans.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
I can't remember what they're what they're doing, don't cover here?
Speaker 1 (38:08):
Yeah, the Texan boys, you gotta going on to or
we got you all right? Where are you the stuff? Yes,
John Boy's Wonderful Bang number one hundred and thirty seven,
A hardback copy of the book The Whole Truth about
Spring Turkey Hunting, according to Ronnie con Strickland from Aussie
Oak autograph to you personally, our winner, a Grand Slam holder.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
Come on, come bore.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
Oh oh, so I'll get your name in the hat
at the Big Show dot com checking out Hey, another
buddy news Cindy Balcom from knee deep in Bluegrass under
the John Boy and Billy Radio Network Umbrella man love us.
I'm Cindy. She will be the guest announcer at the
(38:55):
Grand Old Opry on Saturday, April the twelve. Well, our
friends moving around Nashville. You're getting the opprey see our girl.
Sindy Balcom gets announcer of the Grand Ole Loppery Saturday,
April the twelve. And by the way, that it is
the Houston Cougars tald that's case. That would be Houston
(39:19):
the final four team. You got it, Houston Cougar Go. Okay,
I go, I'll what we got? Oh yeah, A sorry
about celebrating Valley Alabama Auburn being in it. Thinkdale's finally
got some wind of us calling his ad talk. Let's
see all about it in minutes Big Joe Rose on
(39:42):
Good Morning, got the big show on the radio coming up.
We played beat the Blonde for one hundred twenty dollars
worth of Bullshot cleaning products made in the USA. Truck
drivers keep America moving, and bullshot make sure they look
good doing it. Find Bullsnout the truck stops across America.
Download that Bullsnot app. Just click on the leak when
you hit the big Show dot com. Hang on play
for it in minutes. First this think that call down
(40:05):
the valley. You gotta hooked up at Dale's Den.
Speaker 6 (40:08):
Dale's then ad talk. I'm glad you got a chance
to get around and listening into Dale's Den. Ad talk. Hey,
inside of Dale's Den is a place to be. You
check it out. Let me go down a little negative role.
Then I'm gonna bring you back and put you on
a positive track. But I got sometimes you have to
(40:30):
go down a little negative roads to get things. Get
the pot cookie, you got to have heat. Outside of
Dale's Den is not the place to be. We don't
do anything outside of Dale's Den. There stretch out in
the parking lot. If you come to Dale's, then Dee
prepared to come in. Sitting around in the parking lot
(40:52):
is a no.
Speaker 8 (40:52):
No.
Speaker 6 (40:53):
Sitting around in cars is they No?
Speaker 3 (40:55):
No.
Speaker 6 (40:56):
I'm being honest and frank and just straight to the point,
is I and be if you got to come here
and sit in the car or sit outside and talk
and whatever you do, please please don't come to Day's Dend.
I'm being honest. I don't want you to come here.
(41:16):
But if you want to come inside of Dal's then
while we do our business at and I guess that's
the reason you come here anyway, to come inside of
the Day's then please you'll welcome, and I hope you
have a good time. But if you come on on
the outside a cell phone sitting out in the calls
and don't getting nothing out of that, and next thing
(41:38):
you know, you're out there because of the stud man
and waking up my neighbors and that I'm getting distubd.
But please, if you've got to come to Dale's Dening,
be prepared to come on the inside of Dale's Den,
Thank you very much. I want to know who in
the hell is John Boss in some radio stations and
(42:00):
if John Boy and Son somebody keep playing my mess Hey,
John Boy, what's up? Day's Dealian the place to be?
Got some visitors down from Washington the other day. My peoples,
he'll say, they was the nicest to bend down. Some
lawyer friends are there s They were real nice. Hey,
(42:21):
I don't know your name, Day's Dan Place to Be.
We got some of the best ees. Got still getting
them shrimps. Hey, don't have to us the little confrontations
with the hell they get. They still let me have 'em,
and I'm still letting you have 'em. Getting the best
of shrimp Trump so big you'd take two hands to
(42:44):
hold it. Unna tell you. I wouldn't tell you, no. Lie.
Fangers calls days Dalian with the place to be, check
us out, and Hey, I hope your football team ain't
winning until you play awful O Eagles.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
You go down, boy, Eagles all the way for you,
Then a y'all blonde all the way, get tighter up
to the mic. Time to beat the blonde. One eight
hundred big shows. You were told, free lot, we'll get
to contestant and play next
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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