May 5, 2025 • 39 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we celebrate the Mexican Holiday, Cinco de Mayo!.. - Mr. Haney has cooked up a sale targeting our friends from south of the border.. - Red Hot Talent, Inc. conducted a Big Show listener survey and Murray has the results.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins takes the pulpit and delivers a sermon on Mexican children.. - Ricky B. Sharpe sings “Talk English To Me.. - The Crocodile Stalker goes in search of the elusive Mexican Pit Lizard.. - We fill a request for “Dingo Boy”.. - and Mr. Rhubarb will close out the show with a Historical Announcement…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yet Morning to Make show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life. The sun's belly up, there's full everywhere, flying
through the air, and blights and bulls and hands. People
eat them with their fingers, their feet, other people's feet.
It's unbelievable. OHI with a spreads you can't imagine ribs
and chickens and biscuits and whole pigs and a great
big sticky. That's what it's like at the Junt Boyar
Bully Pig Show. It's a buffet from stuff to finish.
(00:24):
There should be a cover charge. I'll tell you. The
only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your shirt
is for. Faded like cleaning bill over my head? You
gonna eat that?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Gaga do is Singo to Mayo? Is this the most
Mexican music that you could find? Well, it says here
it does Singo to Mayo in the US and Mexico.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah. So have we always i mean.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Celebrated the independence of Mexico in the US. Or it's
just like we felt guilty about, you know, drinking all
the all the Mexican beer.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
First of all, it's not Mexican Independence Day.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
It's not No, it's a celebration of I believe Mexico
beat France.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'll beat France.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Aren't this like an late eighteen hundred something like that?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Really?
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Yeah, the Mexico's Independence days in September.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well, how about that. I've been celebrating may fifth all wrong?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
It's common. Lots of people think that it's the mextionan indefence.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So the US. But then, wow, how about that?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
And then we went and liberated France, kept them from
getting taken over by the crowds in World War two.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Well, this goes way back from there.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So this is back before that.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
This is the Second French Empire.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is around the time where we were buying like
New Orleans, you know, for some for some bees and
some you know, some bone necklaces.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
We had some good negotiators. Eighteen sixty two is when
they did that.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Well, all right, I hope y'all got all that. Sinko
to Mayo and the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
That's help cool, Randy, thank you, Good morning, Big shows
on the radio. Get that first prize pack out as
a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from lawd Tigers Motorszagle Lawyers who ride Lord Tigers,
representing injured riders from over two decades. With Lord Tigers,
(03:01):
You'd never ride alone on a batter At the Big
Show dot com find out all about keep him any
is saturabag right now? I look at three days in
history where we get our categories. You to win that
prize Back nineteen eighty three, an Eastern Airlines L ten
eleven carrying one hundred and seventy two people lost power
(03:21):
in all three engines. It was right after takeoff from
Miami on a flight to the Bahamad. The pilot managed
to restart the tail engine and return to Miami.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
All right, happy ending.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
You remember when we were flying a private jet now
and then when a client would throw us something nice.
And I talked to one of the pilots while we
were waiting on somebody to arrive who was a little late,
but anyway, I asked him if it was one of
those keen airs with two engines, And I asked, if
one goes out, can we count on the other one
(03:55):
like the other, you know? And he said, well, if
that one goes out, well I'm pretty sure the other
one will navigate us automatically to the crash site.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Okay, ma'am, all right, So I lost three out of
the four engines on this on this flight, but he
made it back.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Nineteen eighty six it was Britain's William Horsky set a
world record by lifting five barrels filled with water totally
seven hundred and seventy one pounds with one arm.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Britain's WILLIAMS strong Feller. Finally, on this date, No.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Four, Picasso's nineteen oh five painting Boy with a Pipe
sold for one hundred and four million at softbey Is
in New York, setting a new record for painting sold
at auction. Wow, yell, picture and that boy with pipe
see the little hat and everything?
Speaker 7 (04:50):
All right?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I no art. I got some dogs playing poker. Don't
get me started. One hundred bigs.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
You told free line. Come on, we'll get a contestant
play out birds next Good Monday morning, May fifth, Big
(05:34):
Shows All Radio.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
We got our feature track for the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Bit box mister Rubarb's historical announcement. Search for keyword historical.
Don't get to confuse but ysterical, which it will be
bed box at the Big Show dot com A right up, ups,
let's be ups.
Speaker 8 (05:56):
It's the game that anyone can win, John Boy Billy
to give.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You prices from the big prize being.
Speaker 7 (06:05):
Let's go contested number one. This should really be a
lot of fun playings. Have the mony I've been guest.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Time you love the best time you love.
Speaker 9 (06:18):
A big shots.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Let's say, hey, uh Frank from full time co Ho,
can we have shots?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Good morning, Frank?
Speaker 10 (06:37):
How are we doing there?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
You are we doing good? Buddy, welcome in here amongst us.
All right, man, let's get it going.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Let's get you through these three categories, get the prize
back on the way to young Field's gonna be a wonderful.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Day for you.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Frank, all right, awesome five seconds. Give us three things
that take power to work, Ready to go.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
And get heat like.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Alright, I ra I got three things in a barrel,
ready to go.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Whiskey, oil and wine.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
For the wind, three things you can buy an auction, ready.
Speaker 10 (07:18):
Go, a painting and fine animals.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
A good bar man. What cow prices are up?
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
They are up around around our my first time call
it too all right, we're getting word.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I appreciate you, buddy, you have a great day and
hang on jacket, hook you up, get your price back
up to Fulton.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
All right, thank you much.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
All right, we're jumping out, catching your phone, your newes
on the other side, robbin er up Keine on our
Monday Morning song down to Joe's check.
Speaker 11 (08:06):
H m hmm, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Make show's already. If you know the words, join in
with our Monday Morning song that's done by Robert Earl.
Keane is band lying to bet.
Speaker 12 (08:50):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 13 (08:58):
Sometimes I'm I'm as are filled with ride. As I
traveled down left, bad things ain't going my way because
there's always someone.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Swirming in my life. You keep swerving in my.
Speaker 13 (09:21):
Life and it's causing lots of thanger.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 9 (09:30):
I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 12 (09:39):
Him when you're swerving all lives pie by, you're running
someone off.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
The ride the day jove, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Never could another?
Speaker 12 (10:00):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me?
I can't believe I could not see her all tank
up the.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
One's at the waiting.
Speaker 12 (10:19):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bags.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 9 (10:31):
I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 13 (10:34):
I keep switching on my briding lights, but you're just
too dimpty now.
Speaker 9 (10:42):
When you're swerving all lights?
Speaker 12 (10:44):
Oh, why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Monday Morning, Big shows on the radio and Action.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Hello friends, you're all Palt Burn Burn here with another
nurple purpling edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Nude Beach. As our story opens, a mother
and her young son are seated on their beach blanket.
Speaker 14 (11:45):
Let's get a little sun and then we'll go in
the water for a swim.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Where's dad?
Speaker 14 (11:50):
He went to the concession stand for some drinks.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Mom, Can I ask a question, of course, why are
we at a nude beach.
Speaker 14 (11:58):
We're a progressive family's son, and we feel it's the
right thing to expose you to all sorts of lifestyles.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Emphasis on the word exposed. Some of these people shouldn't
be naked now.
Speaker 14 (12:08):
Now this family believes in body positivity. Those behemoths have
the same right to be naked as everyone else. Disgusting,
though it may be.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I noticed that all these women have different.
Speaker 14 (12:19):
Size blouse bunnies.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah yeah, oh they put you to shame.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Wowser.
Speaker 14 (12:25):
Well, just so you know, the bigger they are, the
dumber the owner and.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
All of these guys, all the different sizes.
Speaker 14 (12:33):
Of ding dongs. Yeah yeah, well, just so you know
the bigger they are, the dumber the owner.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
This has been a real eye opener, more than that
field trip to the drag Queen story hour.
Speaker 14 (12:45):
I am parched. Where is your father with our drinks?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Look now, but he's right over there where, over by
the showers.
Speaker 14 (12:52):
What on earth is he doing.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
He's talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and
the longer they talk, the dumber he gets some of them.
We hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse. Has
he ever been that dumb with you?
Speaker 14 (13:13):
Turn around?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the big girl's
sun block vender with the bucket en rollers say hey,
big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning, a
lot more big show coming.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Up, John Boy, Big big show goes picky up. Matthew, Oh, Marcel,
you picked an awful time to call. Well, listen to
the radio. We're right in the middle of a new
centrol You boob, no, no, not, you're raking fat boy.
Pull up a couple of chairs and put down.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I gotta go make coffee for the boys so they
can go on making that audio magic known as the
John Boy by Big Show. Carry on straight people.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. All right, I
love this by accident man our tune. Joe's Teddy Coke
came up when I was looking for fun stuff with
Mexico on Sinko de Mayo.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
We get to enjoy it, Songo, enjoyo. Let's do it.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
When you live way out here in the sticks, it's
a trick to find a place to shop.
Speaker 11 (15:16):
Less.
Speaker 8 (15:17):
You stop at the place that's got everything. Joe Ticle select.
You make bad and the prices are low. Joe Texicle
keeps them prices down. You never know when you get
(15:40):
a surprise. He's got USB cables and ambish and supplies.
I'll be hot dogs two for a buck. You're in luck,
Joe's Ticle. If you never really been and you don't
really know Joe, Oh Texico, the coldest.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Bear in town. Think about all the money you'll save.
(16:27):
Throw a frozen bolrito in.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Love my goway descamp, tampon, shotgun shells. What the hell
Joe Txicle. If you never really bending, you don't really know.
Joes Txicle, the coldest beard in the town. Joe Taxicle
(16:54):
selection makes bad and the presses are low. Joe ooos Texicle,
he keeps them.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
Prisis down talking about the Texicle.
Speaker 8 (17:11):
Old Joe's at the Texicle twenty pur seven at the Texicle.
It's a little slice of heaven at the Texicle.
Speaker 7 (17:22):
Taxicle, Texicle, Texicle, Texic.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
Old Joe at the Texicle is kicking them crisis down.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, Morning big shows on the radio. Coming up.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
We play John boyd Jeopardy for an assortment of swag
from World Lawn Mowers, the best value zero turn mowers
on the market. Got a three unlimited hours morning commercial
grade Kawasaki Engines, Heavy Dutey fabricated decks starting at just
twenty nine nine and nine world long, tough on grass,
easy on your wallet. Check out me on my World
(18:13):
lawn at the John.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Boy Billy Facebook page. All right, see that and click
on the.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Banner when you go to Big show dot com. All right,
hang on, see you go to my own got it
right here? A perfect been looking forward to this good morning.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Big show.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
I'm morning there, big show fullers.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Hey, mister Hani, hadn't heard from you in a long time.
Speaker 10 (18:32):
Well I'm back to say hew ay to y'all and
a great big bean bernudo to all our new compone trees.
It's snooking here from summer south of the border. You
know a lot of folks think Jordan had have done that.
But here at Hani Enterprises, we welcome you and your
vigorous value, price, work, ethic rate estados. You need a
(18:56):
or as we call it, America. Congratulations on developing a
basic working knowledge of the English language. But if y'all
are gonna truly fit in, you need to get a
good grip on the little nuances of our native tongue.
And that's what Kalipino is all about. Labino that stands
(19:19):
for the Hani Anglo Latino and Puerto Rican English Naturalization Organization.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, doting Kalipino.
Speaker 9 (19:27):
Start with a jay.
Speaker 10 (19:29):
Don't be showing off your education. Sun that's a boy,
that's right. Combres and hombres is. Kalipino is an intensive
two week course that will give you some fluent knowledge
of essential English conversation you'll need to buy off a
honk of American dream for yourself. You'll learn such useful
(19:50):
everyday phrases as ce Senior. Three dollars a high is
most generous and no check cash only for horror. And
you can pick us up tomorrow morning behind the home
depot and I'll have a large slurpy and a ten
dollar prepaid international call car. In just two short weeks,
(20:15):
you have a whole quiver full of magic words to
open the door to a new world opportunity here in
the land of the Free. And when you enroll in
the Jalapenos School, you also get a thirty day membership
for Mercado Dale Hani ball On Superstore for affordable consumer
staples for you and you hold Dang Familia. We got
(20:38):
everything from late model toyotas in Yundias to American flag
window stickers and of course ten dollars prepaid international phone cars.
Get the details on the whole in shall out of
this weekend at our big grand opening celebration at Valipedo
Hani's Language Lab and Outlet Mall, don't miss off Friday
(21:01):
night parking Lot Fiesta featuring live musical performances by multi
cultural music icons like country Western crooner Enrique Skag, whip
hop superstar Chili kN Kanye West boy Band Sensation, Uno Directions,
and roots music pioneers the zach Light, Brown vand Valipino
(21:27):
Hanes Language Labna lit Mal Ride next door to hot
Foot Hanes Discount Fireworks located in the Haine Coffin Shopping
Center on Highway Ocho in Hooterville, Arkansas. All sales final
dealers welcome. See Hobbli Fpanol and English too, John Boynbilly
(21:50):
four or five ur Montana alojado still as plantas which
neares I can figure means y all keep them straight up.
The bean menudo.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Manudos, you reerfect.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's why helps Henny. Reverend Billy Ray Collins will be
only dook it a little later this morning on sinkhole dimaih. Now,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy for that assortment of swag
from world Lawnmowers. Let's just jump right in here. Food
scientists tell us it's healthy to eat about one third
of an ounce of this necessary nutrient daily, but consuming
(22:30):
more than four ounces at once.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Could be deadly.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
What is weed?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Man, Let's forget that off the list. One eight hundred
Big Show you told free line, We go to we
get a winner. We play John Boy Jeopardy next Good
(23:09):
Monday Morning, Big Show's on the radios, and go to
my old made the fifth Today's featured track with the
Big Show Big Box Mister Rule Barber's historical announcement on
his darkle day keyword historical when hear the Big Box
at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Right now, let's.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Play Jam's live across America. It's Young Boy Champany and
now your host.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
He just told us a guy in our.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Sales department is getting a divorce because his wife slept
with a Brazilian, so he.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Couldn't wait to get back in here and ask us
how many is that?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Let's Robbie out of Reform Alabama, Huggy.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Morning, Robbie, Hey, good morning, Hey buddy, look a bud.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Robbie, you got first shot at John boyjevity this morning.
It's down to one, one question, one man on a
Reform Alabama food scientist.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Robbie. It's say they say it's healthy eat about.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
A third of an ounce of this necessary nutrient daily,
but more than four ounces at once could be deadly.
Speaker 11 (24:25):
What you got Robbie.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Well, well, it's hard to believe that poor answer, because
I've probably done that a time Retie theself.
Speaker 11 (24:34):
But I'm gonna say salt.
Speaker 7 (24:37):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Salt?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Four ounces? That's a lot of salt, though, when you
think about it. Yeah, okay, yeah it is.
Speaker 10 (24:50):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Oh, I've got some interesting salt information, Robbie, you gotta memberkay. Well,
for a centuries, salt was served in a bowl, not
a shaker. It couldn't be shaken since it absorbs water
and sticks together. Well, the Morton Salt Company changed that
in nineteen ten by covering every grain of salt with
(25:12):
chemicals that keep water out. Thus it's famous slogan, when
it rains, it pours.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I have never.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Understood why that logo said when it rains it until
this moment.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I still don't understand. Oh, well, it would clump, the
salt would clump up.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
So Sultan developed a way to keep the grains apart,
so if it would rain, the salt would not it
would plump.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
She has an umbrella, yes, Jase.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Brell, don't matter if it rains and you need salt, right,
Martin Salt Company genius is what they were in nineteen
No we took us.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We're a little salt. Yeah that's good, all right, Rabi,
good work there, buddy.
Speaker 10 (25:54):
You hang on.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
We're a long prize pack. Head down the reform for
you man, Thank you, Botim of the hour and time
are you news?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Oh good?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I'm onney on a time comesule right after this report.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show.
The South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Goes it is ti hungle. Buddy, how are yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
What a great crowd? Holy crap, it looks like the
Road Company and deliverance in here. I'll tell you that
right now and here he is, folks, the man who
thinks that algebra is what mermaids where to cover their booberies.
I knew the broads would love that. But so my grandson, Sheldon,
he started to lose his baby teeth. Oh what a nightmare.
(27:28):
The other night he lost the tooth, but it broke
in half, so he figured he'd pull a fast one
and put one half under his pillow each night. So
that night he told his mom to teach him a
lesson than honesty and not play with the tooth fairy
that night, not play the tooth fairy. So the next
morning he gets up. He says, hey, Grandpa, buddy, the
tooth fairy didn't leave me any money last night. I said,
you know, why don't you? He says, no, why, I said,
because you don't screw with the tooth fairy.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
Son.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but
the tooth right over his head too. So what about
this global warming? How does anybody still buy that line
of crap anymore? To hear the latest me, of course
you do. You still think Obama's a good president. So
you want to get the latest crazy talk from the
shrub humpers. They say that a small nuclear war could
(28:10):
actually reverse the effects of global warming. You know what,
This might sound selfish, but that sounds a lot better
than having to buy an electric car. I'll tell you that.
So about the mall the other day, there's these two
bros doing the mall walking things. Have you seen that?
The women that go to the mall for exercise? Yeah,
that's good for business.
Speaker 15 (28:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I go to the mall to google a bunch of
old bags doing laps around a food court. So I'm
sitting there drinking coffee. Needs two big beefy dames they
take a pit stop in front of the Arthur Treacher's
Fish and Chips. They start talking about how hard it
is to lose weight as you get older, and one
of them complains that, you know, she couldn't get rid
of that pear shape, and the other one says, no
matter how much she exercised, her backside and thighs keep
(28:50):
getting bigger. I leaned over and said, you know what
they say, ladies, the lard works in mysterious ways. He
did not get as big a laugh as I thought,
but at least they were easy to outrun. You know,
falk WHOA. My doctor's on my back about getting more exercise. Yeah,
he says. Walking can add minutes to your life, which means,
at eighty five years old, you can spend an additional
(29:12):
five months in a nursing home at seven grand a month. Congratulations, walking,
they say that's the best exercise. Oh boy, don't get
me wrong. I like long walks, especially when they're taken
by people who annoy me. Right now, the only reason
I take up walking is so that I can hear
heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the
(29:32):
morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I
joined the health club last year, spent four hundred bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
I got plenty of exercise the last few years, just
getting over the hill.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Someone suggested I try cross country skiing. Now, all I
got to do is move to a smaller country. Every
time I start thinking about how I look, I just
find a happy hour, and by the time I leave it,
I look just fine again. I gotta accept the fact
I'm getting don't go with the big one.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
What do you tell me?
Speaker 10 (30:05):
You know?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I just, you know, I gotta accept the fact that
I'm getting old. What am I gonna do? I got
a friend, Lenny, eighty years old. He's getting married next week.
I said, Lenny, you're getting married. He says yeah. I say,
do I know her? He says no. I say, so,
there's chicky. Is she good looking?
Speaker 1 (30:20):
He says not really.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I said, wow, can she cook? He says no, not
too well. Does she have lots of money?
Speaker 8 (30:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Poor as a church mouse?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
She good in bed?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I don't know, I said, Lenny, why in the world
do you want to marry her? Then he said, because
she can still drive?
Speaker 11 (30:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
One last one he said, three old guys out walking,
and I got one after this, you're like this one.
Three old guys out walking. First one says windy, isn't
it secone said no, it's Thursday.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Good.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
One says, so am, I let's get a beer.
Speaker 10 (30:49):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
This is the last one that this little old guy.
He shuffles slowly into a basket Robin's ice cream parlor.
He wobbles over to the counter and slow only painfully
pulls himself up on a stool. The waitress waits while
he catches his breath. Finally, the old man orders a
banana split. The waitress says, crush nuts. He says, no arthritis.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I don't just worth.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Worth so long, everybody, joh boy.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And Billy love and I hate it.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
It appears to be another irreversible step along Mankind's journey
toward God only knows what.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
Morning rad yell dumb right, good morning.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
This makes you all the radio celebrating sing God to mile.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Monday May fifth. All right, I say he was over
the desk, over red hot talent.
Speaker 10 (32:12):
I mean, where cal increparated is this?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Mister pasto?
Speaker 10 (32:16):
This? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
John boyn Miiller here?
Speaker 10 (32:19):
Wow? How can this day get anything.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Anything you'd care to talk about.
Speaker 10 (32:25):
Anything you care to hear about.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Not really there, see how much.
Speaker 10 (32:29):
Time we say work.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Hey, now coming down to.
Speaker 10 (32:32):
Murray, I can definitely make that happen because if you're
talking to him, it means you're not talking to Moorray.
Jim boy, Bobby, I'm two, Come on, pick it up.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I'm not in the middle of a hot game of
candy Crush.
Speaker 11 (32:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah, morning, Murray, just jagging in to say, what's new
with our career? Let me guess nothing, so.
Speaker 10 (33:00):
Contraar my high cholesterol. Gimme cap wearing fuzzball. Red Hot.
Talent's market research team has just completed some highly detailed
focus groups about your little radio pageant over there. Want
to hear some bullet points.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
You know, we're not too crazy about focus grooves. You know,
it's hard to trust a bunch of people that couldn't
say no to a guy with a clipboard.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
At the mall.
Speaker 10 (33:21):
I totally agree, which is why our guy with the
clipboard works outside the DMV. The DMV not everybody goes
to the mall, but we all need a driver's license.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
That means you talk to a lot of you know,
Spanish speaking people see, and thanks to.
Speaker 10 (33:39):
Google Translate, we were able to compile their insights even
though no one on the team can actually speak Spanish.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
So what'd you get?
Speaker 10 (33:47):
A bumper crop of insightful comments? Here beb like this
one alhambre del sombrero s mui haablador in English. That
means the guy in the hat is quite talkative.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Is that one about me?
Speaker 10 (34:01):
Yes? It is up next s dot tn on techo
mui grande, which means this one has a very large bosom. Nope,
Smarty March. Then there's four k oh no hobblo di
sul grand tasero or why does that one talk about
(34:23):
his large butt?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Mad Max?
Speaker 10 (34:26):
Gosh, that one's also about Smarty And finally creole k
el tero sl moss intelligente, which means I think the
dog is the smart one. So your girlfriend there's a
big head at the DMV.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I'm not sure any of those really news.
Speaker 12 (34:45):
You know.
Speaker 10 (34:46):
Well, that's why I did a section where listeners shared
their specific likes and dislikes about the show, and this
part was conducted entirely in England.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Okay, what you got?
Speaker 10 (34:57):
All right, let's see here things the audience likes Marvin Webster,
Mad Max Junior Nation Racing Song, Ike Turner's Letters from Losers,
losing patience with an unproductive contestant on wordy word and
going it's a what, it's a what and Tater's girlish
(35:18):
little giggle. Ah.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
All right, so what about their dislikes?
Speaker 10 (35:22):
Okay, here's the stuff they're not too crazy about. Allowing
astro Nerd to talk during more than one segment, allowing
astro Nerd to talk for more than fifteen seconds in
any segment, you examining the world, a forty year old
church bulletin, and Red Fred's girlish little giggle. So in summary, wa,
(35:43):
Tater less Nerd and smarty Marty has a disturbingly high
recognition factor not related to his actual job. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
I think we already knew all that.
Speaker 10 (35:54):
Ah, yes, but now you'll have pie shots to back
you up. Yeah, we also have some questions about killing.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
No, he does love pie.
Speaker 10 (36:01):
Hey, look, I'll go over to full report with you later.
Have your machine call my machine and give my luck
to Bobby and Jimbo lot call me.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (36:17):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve wracking they are. I don't even complain when they
(36:39):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
There's posing on Saint cod to my old show brought
you by Buddy Beer.
Speaker 11 (37:33):
Buddy Beer presents real men of.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Genius, real men of gene.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
Here's to you, mister Mexican construction guy who speaks a
little English. Instruction guys, it's a little You and your
crew worked long, hard hours, your only respite a microwave
burrito from the Quickie marks at lunch stable, the endless
twelve of our days at six bucks an hour. But
(38:03):
you with a vital link between your room egos and
the gringo supervisor. That's why he pays you seven bucks
an hour. So after work, you treat everyone to an
ice cold Buddy beer, the crisp, clean taste that unlike
you was born in America. A buddy for your buddies
at seven fifty a case. It's the least you can do. Literally,
(38:26):
mister Mexican Destruction Games nicked a little dam Buddy Brewing Company, Dothan, Alabama.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio? Yeah,
get that call sectors first day about the prize pack.
You can win if you can beat the blonde. We
got one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot
cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America
moving the bullsnot, make sure they look good doing it,
and look for bull snotted truck stops across America. Download
the Bullsnot app, click on that banner when you go
(38:56):
to the Big Show dot com hang on playboard in
minutes
Yet Morning to Make show is on your radio.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'll tell you I've never seen anything like it in
my life. The sun's belly up, there's full everywhere, flying
through the air, and blights and bulls and hands. People
eat them with their fingers, their feet, other people's feet.
It's unbelievable. OHI with a spreads you can't imagine ribs
and chickens and biscuits and whole pigs and a great
big sticky. That's what it's like at the Junt Boyar
Bully Pig Show. It's a buffet from stuff to finish.
(00:24):
There should be a cover charge. I'll tell you. The
only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your shirt
is for. Faded like cleaning bill over my head? You
gonna eat that?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Gaga do is Singo to Mayo? Is this the most
Mexican music that you could find? Well, it says here
it does Singo to Mayo in the US and Mexico.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah. So have we always i mean.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Celebrated the independence of Mexico in the US. Or it's
just like we felt guilty about, you know, drinking all
the all the Mexican beer.
Speaker 4 (01:39):
First of all, it's not Mexican Independence Day.
Speaker 5 (01:42):
It's not No, it's a celebration of I believe Mexico
beat France.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
I'll beat France.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Aren't this like an late eighteen hundred something like that?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Really?
Speaker 6 (01:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (01:52):
Yeah, the Mexico's Independence days in September.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Well, how about that. I've been celebrating may fifth all wrong?
Speaker 4 (02:00):
It's common. Lots of people think that it's the mextionan indefence.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
So the US. But then, wow, how about that?
Speaker 3 (02:05):
And then we went and liberated France, kept them from
getting taken over by the crowds in World War two.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
Well, this goes way back from there.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So this is back before that.
Speaker 4 (02:18):
This is the Second French Empire.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
This is around the time where we were buying like
New Orleans, you know, for some for some bees and
some you know, some bone necklaces.
Speaker 4 (02:27):
We had some good negotiators. Eighteen sixty two is when
they did that.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Well, all right, I hope y'all got all that. Sinko
to Mayo and the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
That's help cool, Randy, thank you, Good morning, Big shows
on the radio. Get that first prize pack out as
a hat, t shirt, tumbler and a twenty five dollars
gas card from lawd Tigers Motorszagle Lawyers who ride Lord Tigers,
representing injured riders from over two decades. With Lord Tigers,
(03:01):
You'd never ride alone on a batter At the Big
Show dot com find out all about keep him any
is saturabag right now? I look at three days in
history where we get our categories. You to win that
prize Back nineteen eighty three, an Eastern Airlines L ten
eleven carrying one hundred and seventy two people lost power
(03:21):
in all three engines. It was right after takeoff from
Miami on a flight to the Bahamad. The pilot managed
to restart the tail engine and return to Miami.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
All right, happy ending.
Speaker 5 (03:35):
You remember when we were flying a private jet now
and then when a client would throw us something nice.
And I talked to one of the pilots while we
were waiting on somebody to arrive who was a little late,
but anyway, I asked him if it was one of
those keen airs with two engines, And I asked, if
one goes out, can we count on the other one
(03:55):
like the other, you know? And he said, well, if
that one goes out, well I'm pretty sure the other
one will navigate us automatically to the crash site.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Okay, ma'am, all right, So I lost three out of
the four engines on this on this flight, but he
made it back.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
Nineteen eighty six it was Britain's William Horsky set a
world record by lifting five barrels filled with water totally
seven hundred and seventy one pounds with one arm.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Britain's WILLIAMS strong Feller. Finally, on this date, No.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Four, Picasso's nineteen oh five painting Boy with a Pipe
sold for one hundred and four million at softbey Is
in New York, setting a new record for painting sold
at auction. Wow, yell, picture and that boy with pipe
see the little hat and everything?
Speaker 7 (04:50):
All right?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I no art. I got some dogs playing poker. Don't
get me started. One hundred bigs.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
You told free line. Come on, we'll get a contestant
play out birds next Good Monday morning, May fifth, Big
(05:34):
Shows All Radio.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
We got our feature track for the Big Show.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
Bit box mister Rubarb's historical announcement. Search for keyword historical.
Don't get to confuse but ysterical, which it will be
bed box at the Big Show dot com A right up, ups,
let's be ups.
Speaker 8 (05:56):
It's the game that anyone can win, John Boy Billy
to give.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
You prices from the big prize being.
Speaker 7 (06:05):
Let's go contested number one. This should really be a
lot of fun playings. Have the mony I've been guest.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Time you love the best time you love.
Speaker 9 (06:18):
A big shots.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Let's say, hey, uh Frank from full time co Ho,
can we have shots?
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Good morning, Frank?
Speaker 10 (06:37):
How are we doing there?
Speaker 1 (06:38):
You are we doing good? Buddy, welcome in here amongst us.
All right, man, let's get it going.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Let's get you through these three categories, get the prize
back on the way to young Field's gonna be a wonderful.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Day for you.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Frank, all right, awesome five seconds. Give us three things
that take power to work, Ready to go.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
And get heat like.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Alright, I ra I got three things in a barrel,
ready to go.
Speaker 10 (07:09):
Whiskey, oil and wine.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
For the wind, three things you can buy an auction, ready.
Speaker 10 (07:18):
Go, a painting and fine animals.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
A good bar man. What cow prices are up?
Speaker 7 (07:32):
Man?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
They are up around around our my first time call
it too all right, we're getting word.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
I appreciate you, buddy, you have a great day and
hang on jacket, hook you up, get your price back
up to Fulton.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
All right, thank you much.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
All right, we're jumping out, catching your phone, your newes
on the other side, robbin er up Keine on our
Monday Morning song down to Joe's check.
Speaker 11 (08:06):
H m hmm, good morning.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Make show's already. If you know the words, join in
with our Monday Morning song that's done by Robert Earl.
Keane is band lying to bet.
Speaker 12 (08:50):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 13 (08:58):
Sometimes I'm I'm as are filled with ride. As I
traveled down left, bad things ain't going my way because
there's always someone.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Swirming in my life. You keep swerving in my.
Speaker 13 (09:21):
Life and it's causing lots of thanger.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 9 (09:30):
I'm shooting you the phone.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Keep switching on my bride lines.
Speaker 12 (09:39):
Him when you're swerving all lives pie by, you're running
someone off.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
The ride the day jove, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Never could another?
Speaker 12 (10:00):
How else could I feed? But bowing you run into me?
I can't believe I could not see her all tank
up the.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
One's at the waiting.
Speaker 12 (10:19):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bags.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 9 (10:31):
I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 13 (10:34):
I keep switching on my briding lights, but you're just
too dimpty now.
Speaker 9 (10:42):
When you're swerving all lights?
Speaker 12 (10:44):
Oh, why you're running someone off the ride?
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Monday Morning, Big shows on the radio and Action.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Hello friends, you're all Palt Burn Burn here with another
nurple purpling edition of John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's
episode the Nude Beach. As our story opens, a mother
and her young son are seated on their beach blanket.
Speaker 14 (11:45):
Let's get a little sun and then we'll go in
the water for a swim.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Where's dad?
Speaker 14 (11:50):
He went to the concession stand for some drinks.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Mom, Can I ask a question, of course, why are
we at a nude beach.
Speaker 14 (11:58):
We're a progressive family's son, and we feel it's the
right thing to expose you to all sorts of lifestyles.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Emphasis on the word exposed. Some of these people shouldn't
be naked now.
Speaker 14 (12:08):
Now this family believes in body positivity. Those behemoths have
the same right to be naked as everyone else. Disgusting,
though it may be.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
I noticed that all these women have different.
Speaker 14 (12:19):
Size blouse bunnies.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
Yeah yeah, oh they put you to shame.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Wowser.
Speaker 14 (12:25):
Well, just so you know, the bigger they are, the
dumber the owner and.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
All of these guys, all the different sizes.
Speaker 14 (12:33):
Of ding dongs. Yeah yeah, well, just so you know
the bigger they are, the dumber the owner.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
This has been a real eye opener, more than that
field trip to the drag Queen story hour.
Speaker 14 (12:45):
I am parched. Where is your father with our drinks?
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Look now, but he's right over there where, over by
the showers.
Speaker 14 (12:52):
What on earth is he doing.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
He's talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and
the longer they talk, the dumber he gets some of them.
We hope you enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse. Has
he ever been that dumb with you?
Speaker 14 (13:13):
Turn around?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
Tune in next time when we'll hear the big girl's
sun block vender with the bucket en rollers say hey,
big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning, a
lot more big show coming.
Speaker 6 (13:26):
Up, John Boy, Big big show goes picky up. Matthew, Oh, Marcel,
you picked an awful time to call. Well, listen to
the radio. We're right in the middle of a new
centrol You boob, no, no, not, you're raking fat boy.
Pull up a couple of chairs and put down.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Listen.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
I gotta go make coffee for the boys so they
can go on making that audio magic known as the
John Boy by Big Show. Carry on straight people.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio. All right, I
love this by accident man our tune. Joe's Teddy Coke
came up when I was looking for fun stuff with
Mexico on Sinko de Mayo.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
We get to enjoy it, Songo, enjoyo. Let's do it.
Speaker 8 (15:08):
When you live way out here in the sticks, it's
a trick to find a place to shop.
Speaker 11 (15:16):
Less.
Speaker 8 (15:17):
You stop at the place that's got everything. Joe Ticle select.
You make bad and the prices are low. Joe Texicle
keeps them prices down. You never know when you get
(15:40):
a surprise. He's got USB cables and ambish and supplies.
I'll be hot dogs two for a buck. You're in luck,
Joe's Ticle. If you never really been and you don't
really know Joe, Oh Texico, the coldest.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Bear in town. Think about all the money you'll save.
(16:27):
Throw a frozen bolrito in.
Speaker 8 (16:29):
Love my goway descamp, tampon, shotgun shells. What the hell
Joe Txicle. If you never really bending, you don't really know.
Joes Txicle, the coldest beard in the town. Joe Taxicle
(16:54):
selection makes bad and the presses are low. Joe ooos Texicle,
he keeps them.
Speaker 7 (17:03):
Prisis down talking about the Texicle.
Speaker 8 (17:11):
Old Joe's at the Texicle twenty pur seven at the Texicle.
It's a little slice of heaven at the Texicle.
Speaker 7 (17:22):
Taxicle, Texicle, Texicle, Texic.
Speaker 8 (17:40):
Old Joe at the Texicle is kicking them crisis down.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Yeah, Morning big shows on the radio. Coming up.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
We play John boyd Jeopardy for an assortment of swag
from World Lawn Mowers, the best value zero turn mowers
on the market. Got a three unlimited hours morning commercial
grade Kawasaki Engines, Heavy Dutey fabricated decks starting at just
twenty nine nine and nine world long, tough on grass,
easy on your wallet. Check out me on my World
(18:13):
lawn at the John.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Boy Billy Facebook page. All right, see that and click
on the.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
Banner when you go to Big show dot com. All right,
hang on, see you go to my own got it
right here? A perfect been looking forward to this good morning.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Big show.
Speaker 10 (18:26):
I'm morning there, big show fullers.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Hey, mister Hani, hadn't heard from you in a long time.
Speaker 10 (18:32):
Well I'm back to say hew ay to y'all and
a great big bean bernudo to all our new compone trees.
It's snooking here from summer south of the border. You
know a lot of folks think Jordan had have done that.
But here at Hani Enterprises, we welcome you and your
vigorous value, price, work, ethic rate estados. You need a
(18:56):
or as we call it, America. Congratulations on developing a
basic working knowledge of the English language. But if y'all
are gonna truly fit in, you need to get a
good grip on the little nuances of our native tongue.
And that's what Kalipino is all about. Labino that stands
(19:19):
for the Hani Anglo Latino and Puerto Rican English Naturalization Organization.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Yeah, doting Kalipino.
Speaker 9 (19:27):
Start with a jay.
Speaker 10 (19:29):
Don't be showing off your education. Sun that's a boy,
that's right. Combres and hombres is. Kalipino is an intensive
two week course that will give you some fluent knowledge
of essential English conversation you'll need to buy off a
honk of American dream for yourself. You'll learn such useful
(19:50):
everyday phrases as ce Senior. Three dollars a high is
most generous and no check cash only for horror. And
you can pick us up tomorrow morning behind the home
depot and I'll have a large slurpy and a ten
dollar prepaid international call car. In just two short weeks,
(20:15):
you have a whole quiver full of magic words to
open the door to a new world opportunity here in
the land of the Free. And when you enroll in
the Jalapenos School, you also get a thirty day membership
for Mercado Dale Hani ball On Superstore for affordable consumer
staples for you and you hold Dang Familia. We got
(20:38):
everything from late model toyotas in Yundias to American flag
window stickers and of course ten dollars prepaid international phone cars.
Get the details on the whole in shall out of
this weekend at our big grand opening celebration at Valipedo
Hani's Language Lab and Outlet Mall, don't miss off Friday
(21:01):
night parking Lot Fiesta featuring live musical performances by multi
cultural music icons like country Western crooner Enrique Skag, whip
hop superstar Chili kN Kanye West boy Band Sensation, Uno Directions,
and roots music pioneers the zach Light, Brown vand Valipino
(21:27):
Hanes Language Labna lit Mal Ride next door to hot
Foot Hanes Discount Fireworks located in the Haine Coffin Shopping
Center on Highway Ocho in Hooterville, Arkansas. All sales final
dealers welcome. See Hobbli Fpanol and English too, John Boynbilly
(21:50):
four or five ur Montana alojado still as plantas which
neares I can figure means y all keep them straight up.
The bean menudo.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Manudos, you reerfect.
Speaker 3 (22:05):
That's why helps Henny. Reverend Billy Ray Collins will be
only dook it a little later this morning on sinkhole dimaih. Now,
let's play John Boy Jeopardy for that assortment of swag
from world Lawnmowers. Let's just jump right in here. Food
scientists tell us it's healthy to eat about one third
of an ounce of this necessary nutrient daily, but consuming
(22:30):
more than four ounces at once.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Could be deadly.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
What is weed?
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Man, Let's forget that off the list. One eight hundred
Big Show you told free line, We go to we
get a winner. We play John Boy Jeopardy next Good
(23:09):
Monday Morning, Big Show's on the radios, and go to
my old made the fifth Today's featured track with the
Big Show Big Box Mister Rule Barber's historical announcement on
his darkle day keyword historical when hear the Big Box
at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Right now, let's.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Play Jam's live across America. It's Young Boy Champany and
now your host.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
He just told us a guy in our.
Speaker 5 (23:34):
Sales department is getting a divorce because his wife slept
with a Brazilian, so he.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Couldn't wait to get back in here and ask us
how many is that?
Speaker 3 (23:47):
Let's Robbie out of Reform Alabama, Huggy.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
Morning, Robbie, Hey, good morning, Hey buddy, look a bud.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Robbie, you got first shot at John boyjevity this morning.
It's down to one, one question, one man on a
Reform Alabama food scientist.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
Robbie. It's say they say it's healthy eat about.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
A third of an ounce of this necessary nutrient daily,
but more than four ounces at once could be deadly.
Speaker 11 (24:25):
What you got Robbie.
Speaker 5 (24:28):
Well, well, it's hard to believe that poor answer, because
I've probably done that a time Retie theself.
Speaker 11 (24:34):
But I'm gonna say salt.
Speaker 7 (24:37):
Is it?
Speaker 4 (24:38):
Salt?
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Four ounces? That's a lot of salt, though, when you
think about it. Yeah, okay, yeah it is.
Speaker 10 (24:50):
You know.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Oh, I've got some interesting salt information, Robbie, you gotta memberkay. Well,
for a centuries, salt was served in a bowl, not
a shaker. It couldn't be shaken since it absorbs water
and sticks together. Well, the Morton Salt Company changed that
in nineteen ten by covering every grain of salt with
(25:12):
chemicals that keep water out. Thus it's famous slogan, when
it rains, it pours.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
I have never.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
Understood why that logo said when it rains it until
this moment.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
I still don't understand. Oh, well, it would clump, the
salt would clump up.
Speaker 5 (25:29):
So Sultan developed a way to keep the grains apart,
so if it would rain, the salt would not it
would plump.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
She has an umbrella, yes, Jase.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Brell, don't matter if it rains and you need salt, right,
Martin Salt Company genius is what they were in nineteen
No we took us.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
We're a little salt. Yeah that's good, all right, Rabi,
good work there, buddy.
Speaker 10 (25:54):
You hang on.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
We're a long prize pack. Head down the reform for
you man, Thank you, Botim of the hour and time
are you news?
Speaker 4 (26:09):
Oh good?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I'm onney on a time comesule right after this report.
Speaker 9 (26:45):
This is the award winning John Boy and Billy Big Show.
The South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Goes it is ti hungle. Buddy, how are yeah?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
What a great crowd? Holy crap, it looks like the
Road Company and deliverance in here. I'll tell you that
right now and here he is, folks, the man who
thinks that algebra is what mermaids where to cover their booberies.
I knew the broads would love that. But so my grandson, Sheldon,
he started to lose his baby teeth. Oh what a nightmare.
(27:28):
The other night he lost the tooth, but it broke
in half, so he figured he'd pull a fast one
and put one half under his pillow each night. So
that night he told his mom to teach him a
lesson than honesty and not play with the tooth fairy
that night, not play the tooth fairy. So the next
morning he gets up. He says, hey, Grandpa, buddy, the
tooth fairy didn't leave me any money last night. I said,
you know, why don't you? He says, no, why, I said,
because you don't screw with the tooth fairy.
Speaker 6 (27:48):
Son.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
She wants the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but
the tooth right over his head too. So what about
this global warming? How does anybody still buy that line
of crap anymore? To hear the latest me, of course
you do. You still think Obama's a good president. So
you want to get the latest crazy talk from the
shrub humpers. They say that a small nuclear war could
(28:10):
actually reverse the effects of global warming. You know what,
This might sound selfish, but that sounds a lot better
than having to buy an electric car. I'll tell you that.
So about the mall the other day, there's these two
bros doing the mall walking things. Have you seen that?
The women that go to the mall for exercise? Yeah,
that's good for business.
Speaker 15 (28:27):
I know.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I go to the mall to google a bunch of
old bags doing laps around a food court. So I'm
sitting there drinking coffee. Needs two big beefy dames they
take a pit stop in front of the Arthur Treacher's
Fish and Chips. They start talking about how hard it
is to lose weight as you get older, and one
of them complains that, you know, she couldn't get rid
of that pear shape, and the other one says, no
matter how much she exercised, her backside and thighs keep
(28:50):
getting bigger. I leaned over and said, you know what
they say, ladies, the lard works in mysterious ways. He
did not get as big a laugh as I thought,
but at least they were easy to outrun. You know,
falk WHOA. My doctor's on my back about getting more exercise. Yeah,
he says. Walking can add minutes to your life, which means,
at eighty five years old, you can spend an additional
(29:12):
five months in a nursing home at seven grand a month. Congratulations, walking,
they say that's the best exercise. Oh boy, don't get
me wrong. I like long walks, especially when they're taken
by people who annoy me. Right now, the only reason
I take up walking is so that I can hear
heavy breathing again. I have to walk early in the
(29:32):
morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I
joined the health club last year, spent four hundred bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
I got plenty of exercise the last few years, just
getting over the hill.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
Someone suggested I try cross country skiing. Now, all I
got to do is move to a smaller country. Every
time I start thinking about how I look, I just
find a happy hour, and by the time I leave it,
I look just fine again. I gotta accept the fact
I'm getting don't go with the big one.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
What do you tell me?
Speaker 10 (30:05):
You know?
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I just, you know, I gotta accept the fact that
I'm getting old. What am I gonna do? I got
a friend, Lenny, eighty years old. He's getting married next week.
I said, Lenny, you're getting married. He says yeah. I say,
do I know her? He says no. I say, so,
there's chicky. Is she good looking?
Speaker 1 (30:20):
He says not really.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
I said, wow, can she cook? He says no, not
too well. Does she have lots of money?
Speaker 8 (30:25):
No?
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Poor as a church mouse?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
She good in bed?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I don't know, I said, Lenny, why in the world
do you want to marry her? Then he said, because
she can still drive?
Speaker 11 (30:37):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
One last one he said, three old guys out walking,
and I got one after this, you're like this one.
Three old guys out walking. First one says windy, isn't
it secone said no, it's Thursday.
Speaker 10 (30:46):
Good.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
One says, so am, I let's get a beer.
Speaker 10 (30:49):
All right?
Speaker 2 (30:50):
This is the last one that this little old guy.
He shuffles slowly into a basket Robin's ice cream parlor.
He wobbles over to the counter and slow only painfully
pulls himself up on a stool. The waitress waits while
he catches his breath. Finally, the old man orders a
banana split. The waitress says, crush nuts. He says, no arthritis.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I don't just worth.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Worth so long, everybody, joh boy.
Speaker 1 (31:21):
And Billy love and I hate it.
Speaker 10 (31:23):
It appears to be another irreversible step along Mankind's journey
toward God only knows what.
Speaker 9 (31:29):
Morning rad yell dumb right, good morning.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
This makes you all the radio celebrating sing God to mile.
Speaker 1 (32:06):
Monday May fifth. All right, I say he was over
the desk, over red hot talent.
Speaker 10 (32:12):
I mean, where cal increparated is this?
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Mister pasto?
Speaker 10 (32:16):
This? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (32:17):
John boyn Miiller here?
Speaker 10 (32:19):
Wow? How can this day get anything.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Anything you'd care to talk about.
Speaker 10 (32:25):
Anything you care to hear about.
Speaker 2 (32:27):
Not really there, see how much.
Speaker 10 (32:29):
Time we say work.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Hey, now coming down to.
Speaker 10 (32:32):
Murray, I can definitely make that happen because if you're
talking to him, it means you're not talking to Moorray.
Jim boy, Bobby, I'm two, Come on, pick it up.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
I'm not in the middle of a hot game of
candy Crush.
Speaker 11 (32:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (32:54):
Yeah, morning, Murray, just jagging in to say, what's new
with our career? Let me guess nothing, so.
Speaker 10 (33:00):
Contraar my high cholesterol. Gimme cap wearing fuzzball. Red Hot.
Talent's market research team has just completed some highly detailed
focus groups about your little radio pageant over there. Want
to hear some bullet points.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
You know, we're not too crazy about focus grooves. You know,
it's hard to trust a bunch of people that couldn't
say no to a guy with a clipboard.
Speaker 4 (33:21):
At the mall.
Speaker 10 (33:21):
I totally agree, which is why our guy with the
clipboard works outside the DMV. The DMV not everybody goes
to the mall, but we all need a driver's license.
Speaker 3 (33:33):
That means you talk to a lot of you know,
Spanish speaking people see, and thanks to.
Speaker 10 (33:39):
Google Translate, we were able to compile their insights even
though no one on the team can actually speak Spanish.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
So what'd you get?
Speaker 10 (33:47):
A bumper crop of insightful comments? Here beb like this
one alhambre del sombrero s mui haablador in English. That
means the guy in the hat is quite talkative.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
Is that one about me?
Speaker 10 (34:01):
Yes? It is up next s dot tn on techo
mui grande, which means this one has a very large bosom. Nope,
Smarty March. Then there's four k oh no hobblo di
sul grand tasero or why does that one talk about
(34:23):
his large butt?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
Mad Max?
Speaker 10 (34:26):
Gosh, that one's also about Smarty And finally creole k
el tero sl moss intelligente, which means I think the
dog is the smart one. So your girlfriend there's a
big head at the DMV.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
I'm not sure any of those really news.
Speaker 12 (34:45):
You know.
Speaker 10 (34:46):
Well, that's why I did a section where listeners shared
their specific likes and dislikes about the show, and this
part was conducted entirely in England.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Okay, what you got?
Speaker 10 (34:57):
All right, let's see here things the audience likes Marvin Webster,
Mad Max Junior Nation Racing Song, Ike Turner's Letters from Losers,
losing patience with an unproductive contestant on wordy word and
going it's a what, it's a what and Tater's girlish
(35:18):
little giggle. Ah.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
All right, so what about their dislikes?
Speaker 10 (35:22):
Okay, here's the stuff they're not too crazy about. Allowing
astro Nerd to talk during more than one segment, allowing
astro Nerd to talk for more than fifteen seconds in
any segment, you examining the world, a forty year old
church bulletin, and Red Fred's girlish little giggle. So in summary, wa,
(35:43):
Tater less Nerd and smarty Marty has a disturbingly high
recognition factor not related to his actual job. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
I think we already knew all that.
Speaker 10 (35:54):
Ah, yes, but now you'll have pie shots to back
you up. Yeah, we also have some questions about killing.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
No, he does love pie.
Speaker 10 (36:01):
Hey, look, I'll go over to full report with you later.
Have your machine call my machine and give my luck
to Bobby and Jimbo lot call me.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (36:11):
You got the big show on already, all more chances
for you to win coming up after your.
Speaker 1 (36:16):
News, weather and sports.
Speaker 15 (36:17):
Hello, it's me Spanky, you know, mister personality from the
Yellow Rose. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. It's
not like they're paying me or anything. I can't even
get the redneck to pay his tab down a car.
But you can't help but love them, no matter how
nerve wracking they are. I don't even complain when they
(36:39):
make fun of my big head. I just wish John
Boy would give me back my memory foam pillow and
stop telling his kids that's where the comet hits.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
Good morning, that's a big show on the radio.
Speaker 3 (37:26):
There's posing on Saint cod to my old show brought
you by Buddy Beer.
Speaker 11 (37:33):
Buddy Beer presents real men of.
Speaker 1 (37:37):
Genius, real men of gene.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
Here's to you, mister Mexican construction guy who speaks a
little English. Instruction guys, it's a little You and your
crew worked long, hard hours, your only respite a microwave
burrito from the Quickie marks at lunch stable, the endless
twelve of our days at six bucks an hour. But
(38:03):
you with a vital link between your room egos and
the gringo supervisor. That's why he pays you seven bucks
an hour. So after work, you treat everyone to an
ice cold Buddy beer, the crisp, clean taste that unlike
you was born in America. A buddy for your buddies
at seven fifty a case. It's the least you can do. Literally,
(38:26):
mister Mexican Destruction Games nicked a little dam Buddy Brewing Company, Dothan, Alabama.
Speaker 3 (38:34):
Good morning, got the Big Show on the radio? Yeah,
get that call sectors first day about the prize pack.
You can win if you can beat the blonde. We
got one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull Snot
cleaning products made in the USA. Truck drivers keep America
moving the bullsnot, make sure they look good doing it,
and look for bull snotted truck stops across America. Download
the Bullsnot app, click on that banner when you go
(38:56):
to the Big Show dot com hang on playboard in
minutes
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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