June 23, 2025 • 39 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, The Big Show Drive-In is resurrected for one more summer.. - Rev. Billy Ray Collins finds a sure-fire way to know if your marriage will work out.. - Uncle Bella’s Summer Camp is open for the kiddies.. - We have a list of 10 very bad summer camps you’ll want to avoid.. - JD’s 24-Hour Stores have another blow-out sale.. - Tacky Jackie’s is putting on the dog for summer.. - and Oliver has some ideas for the greeting card industry…
℗®© 2025 John Boy & Billy, Inc.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
The big shows on the radio, hangout. We're gonna show
our acting jobs coming up.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I'm not an actor, damn you. I'm a movie star.
I did one play in summer stuff. I have one
line I forgocket. Thank god, I can write down all
my bits. I'm the dumb boy and Billy big show.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Talking.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
All right, women, one more time? Yay flag? Oh ruh.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
You walk around all weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
With that up there. It's a brand new work week alone.
Don't question the methods here, all right? It is already June.
Does something I had looked at the calendar usually depend
(01:47):
on range. Get up on the big board there.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
It's at the top of your paper there, honeymoon.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Oh it sure is, baby, it's June to twenty third.
Thank you, there it is. I got a let's see
a National Hydration Day. That's good because boy, it turned
hot last week. Yeah. Well, where we are North Carolina.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Man, the heat index, you know, the feelds like temperature
a couple of days in row is one hundred and two.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It's big hot. It's June. It's summer time of National
Pecan Sandy's Day. Yeah, cookie, what's a sandy deal? I know?
The pecan like a sugar cooks.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Deal, like a crumbly cookie. You're kind of like a
tea biscuit.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like it's a it's good. What about Pink Day? It's
National Pink Day and y'all telling them girls that wear
the pink on the butt is not the pink singer? Correct?
That is a Victoria's Secret brand. I gotta gotta spend
more time in there. Yeah, they prefer you don't. Maybe
(03:00):
you know what you should do.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
Now here's your chance. I've told you this before when
I had a baby in the house. You go to
the mall, You let your wife go wherever she want,
and you just sit on that bench outside of Victoria's
Secret with the baby.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Baby dolls come talking to you. What do you do
the same thing with a puppy? Yes, but they don't
allow them in the mall. Oh service dog baby dolls,
bottom dogs. You've got t go high out to the mall.
Oh yeah, man, he would draw me. All right, Well
(03:35):
one more, it's National Detroit Style Pizza Day, so we'll
we'll go ahead and in their national days with that.
That sounds pretty What's the difference Chicago is the deep dish?
What is Detroit.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
No clue New York is thin and foldable.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Right, all right, well let's check out that Detroit style piece.
Will be a good day to do it. I got
three days in this story saved up. Those will be
very important. I'm gonna use them to get the winning.
Beginning goes, we are awake, Big shows on the radio.
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Turdy
doing good work so far? What's the deal on that
(04:10):
Detroit style pizza? Hero on National Detroit Style Pizza.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Day, The Google says it's a rectangular, thick crust pizza
characterized by its crispy, cheesy edges and unique layering of toppings.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Nice. Now I'm hungry. Let's do three dates in history
before we get our category so you can win this
Law Tigers prize pack. By the way, let me tell
you about the hat, t shirt, tumbler and the twenty
five dollars gascar. You know you get that right off
the bat. Then you're registered for the ultimate Styling and
(04:47):
Sturgis Trip of a lifetime with over eighty five thousand
dollars in prizes. See details and registration at Stylinginsturgis dot com.
Click that Law Tiger's link. When you go to the
Big Show dot com. Just make sure your name is
in the head as you don't win the prize. Back
here all right, okay. June twenty third, it was nineteen
(05:10):
eighty two. It was minus one hundred and seventeen degrees
at the South Pole, setting the all time low temperature record.
I guess it still stands.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Yeah, you know the temperature is that low When you
exhale your breath, your breath will literally freeze and drop to.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
The ground in front of you. Wow, it is Well.
Let's move up to nineteen ninety nine. When a bank
robber demanded money in Ornberg, Germany, the taeler routinely asked
to see some ID. Well, the thirty one year old
Robert not only produced his ID card, but he forgot
to get it back rest police a slip a few
(05:47):
hours later, I'm gonna need to Oh okay, sure you
can keep that. And finally, twenty one Britney Spears requested
that a judge in her court ordered conservatorship, stating I
think this conservatorship is abusive. I don't think I can
(06:08):
live a full life. Yeah what happened? She got it?
Speaker 6 (06:12):
She got out, yees, she got out, but she's still
notts just like subtly nuts conservatorship.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
That one ain't under Big Shows you told free line.
Come on, we'll play out bears next Good Monday morning,
(06:54):
June or twenty third Big Shows on the radio. When
I featured track for the Big show, bit Box, he
ever on greeting cards, search for gay words, greeting cards
till the bed box got to make show dot com outpers.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Let's play outpers.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
John Boys and Billy we give.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
The prizes from the big prize being. Let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outpers. Have a hurry up and guest time.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
You have the best time.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Pass head around from Blackbird fir Can Yard.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
We have shots.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Good morning round, Good morning, John Boy, Hello Boddy, welcome
in here. You ready to get you a prize pack?
Speaker 7 (08:02):
I'm ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Let's do it. Then five seconds. Three places that get
real cold, ready to go about whole Minnesota and a
Latin ron give us three places that ask for your ID.
Ready go U bank, adoptor's office, and liquor stool. I
(08:27):
wouldn't guess you was over twenty one? Right, run for
the win. Three things a conservator can do. Ready, go, hey,
you build file you taxes and health turns. Yeah, we
find out, Yeah, you ain't never had. Jackie does that stuff. Alright, Hey, Ron,
(08:57):
good work on you and Buddy bigod Law on Tiger's
prize back qualification for the Ultimate styling in Sturges. You
got it going on up in Blacksburg, Buddy.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
All right, John Boy, thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
All right boy, all right, we're jumping out catching you
up on you knew Robert Earl Kaine on Monday Morning
Song on the other side. H good morning. It's a
(10:01):
big short radio here Monday morning. Let's get the wore.
We're going. Be careful, stay in your lane, taking Robert Earl.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
That's done by Robert Earl Keane is being lying.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
To be your sudio.
Speaker 9 (10:15):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 9 (10:22):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right, THAT'SI trevored
down left Surba. Things ain't going mind way because there's
always someone swirming in my line.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You keep swirming in my line.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
And it's causing lots of thinger.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm a honking on my horry. I'm shooting you the fling.
I keep switching them.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
A bride lights.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's just too dem tell.
Speaker 9 (11:06):
When you're swerving all lives Pie Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
The day, Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 10 (11:21):
Never could love another. How else could I feed? But
bowing you run into me. I can't believe I could
not see her. I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
(11:43):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of Thames.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I'm shooting you the fight.
Speaker 9 (11:59):
I keep swim you know, I'm bride the lights, but
you're just too damp to now when you're swerving all
lights o by, you're running someone off the road.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Driving a big show.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Come on, that's big show on the radio.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Be ready action, Hello friends, you're old Palt bird Burn
Here with another pinky toast stubbing edition of John Boy
and Billy Playhouse Today's episode The Painter. As our story opens,
newly hired highway worker Niles Noodleman is called into the
boss's office.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Hey, you wanted to see me, boss, Mister Noodleman, come
in oh thanks. All right, now you're our new highway
center line painter.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Correct, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Well, please please have a seat. Can I get you anything?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Why? I sure could use a new set of tires.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
No, I was thinking more along the lines of coffee.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Coffee kind of a letdown after the tires, But sure,
why not Black? No Caucasian? I just get a lot
of sun from working outside.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
No, I meant the cough own Never mind. Okay, mister noodleman.
Do you know why I asked you to come see me?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
You changed your mind about the tires.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
No, no, it's about your job performance.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm doing a great job, aren't I.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
You did, indeed have a promising start. The first day
you painted four miles. It was quite impressive, he know, right,
But the second day you only did three miles.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, still pretty good, right, not terrible.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
But the next day you only manage two miles, and
then yesterday you did less than one mile.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Well you really keep tabs on a guy, don't you.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Well, mister Newtleman, I'm not trying to criticize your work ethic,
but you started out so strong, but your daily productivity
has dwindled quite a bit. I'm trying to figure out why.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Well, not to be condescending, but the answer is pretty obvious.
Don't you think I'm not following you?
Speaker 12 (14:34):
Well, I get less done every day because I keep
getting farther and farther away from the paint can.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Here she comes, and how we hope you enjoy John
Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 12 (14:59):
I bet you feel I'm pretty stupid right about now,
and I'm talking to you Jackie. Tune in next time
when we'll hear the guy that used to have the
job but is now in cuck Amonga say.
Speaker 8 (15:10):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
you got a big show on the radio. More chance
for you to win coming up after your news, weather
and sports.
Speaker 13 (15:21):
Home, I have no home, hunted, despised, leaping like an animal.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
The jungle is my home.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I will show the world that I am its master.
Speaker 11 (15:39):
I will create my own race of people, a race
of atomic superman that will conquer the world.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And here are the first two Tongboy and Billy from
the Big Show morning. This will make shaw on the
(16:33):
radio for your Monday morning, June twenty third. You having
a birthday today, Happy birthday, Sharing one with one hundred
eighth us Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Oh, Clarence seven.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Older than that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Thanks. Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson is sixty nine
years old today. He've been on air for a while
that the American Idol or is a talent deal.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Is still American Idol and the only original guy is
Ryan Seacrest. Come on, dog, they've been gone.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Ted Shackelford from Knots Landing in Dallas is seventy nine
years older than Didn't your wife have like a crush
on him?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Yeah, we just gave.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Across some pictures when we were in our studios uptown right. Yeah,
remember when he was in hanging out with us, one
of the only times she ever came to meet a guest.
And I got a page. I got three kids hanging
on her. If y'all look at my boys, they were
even younger than this that Taylor put up on the
Father's Day of the John Boy and Billy Facebook page.
(17:41):
I gotta find that, yes, combing her hair, putting on
making it look like in baby Possums that we like
George put on our Facebook page. And she was so
nervous when she met him. She suck her hand on
me awesome. Good memories, Good memories. Appreciate y'all. Well, let's
(18:05):
make some new memories. See what's happening this summer. The
first feature the Big Show Drive in Theater. Worth the wait,
It's coming in minutes. Big Show rolls on, Good morning,
Big Shows on the radio coming up. We play John
boyd jeveryday. For an assortment of swag from world. Lawn
Moores is the best value zero turned Moores on the
(18:26):
market got a three year unlimited hours warning commercial grade
Kawasaki Engines. Heavy dude who fabricated deck starting at just
twenty nine nine nine world long, tough on grass, easy
on your wallet. Could have gone to link the Big
Show dot com. Risley, what's going on?
Speaker 11 (18:44):
Hello friends, your old pal Bert bird here with some
exciting news. It's almost showtime at the Big Show Drive
in Theater. Only five dollars a car load.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
The drive ins are driving them wild Solute.
Speaker 11 (18:55):
Up the family truckster and come on down to the
all news this Big Show Drive in Theater. This isn't
the same old labeled, washed up West Coast horse nuggets,
crammed full of political correctness.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
And a hidden communist agenda.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
These are all new all exciting pictures with today's audiences
in mind. Just listen to this weekend's lineup. The world
is about to explode, the search for a new world begins.
A crew of Earth's last astronauts launch into the Great Unknown,
only to craft land on the planet of Dirty Red Women.
(19:32):
Watch the all female denizens of the planet jug Toopia
go hog wild when they meet these virile rocket jockeys
and seek to repopulate their own planets.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
My days, handy, It's where Bam, Thank you, Spaceman.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Contex The Planet of Dirty Red.
Speaker 11 (19:49):
Women, starring Joey Fatona's Captain Von Wiener, Joe Gatto as
Wiener Von Captain, Tayter Moran as Queen Hooderella, in a
special appearance by Terry Hansen as Poot Gibson, the flat
Egilant ship's cook who's a bit of a wet talker,
and me, here's a sprinkler on I could never tell
its Filmed in Glorious three Triple D. Also on the
(20:10):
same bill, a group of fret boys on the way
to Bristol for the Big Race.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
End up in a race for their life when they'd break.
Speaker 11 (20:22):
Down in front of the House of one thousand Jeff
Gorton fans.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
The Tri County Nicolsab called it the New Deliverance.
Speaker 11 (20:32):
The Berkeley Village Rabbit Varmit Currier called it the last
peak house on the left.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You'll call it terrifying. Be warned, no one will be
admitted during.
Speaker 11 (20:42):
The climactic Cornhole Challenge finale of one thousand Jeff Gorton Fans,
starring Justin Bieber as Biff, Justin Tipperlake as Buff, Justin
Long as Boss, and Justin Trudeau as.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Priscilla, Queen of the Finger Lakes.
Speaker 11 (21:03):
Remember, friends, don't pack a lunch or concession stand has
a bunch at.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
The Big Show drive in theater.
Speaker 11 (21:09):
We've got soda, cider, near beer, far beer, ice water, tapwater,
toilet water, popcorn, caramel corn cream, corn corn of the Cop,
corn off the Cop, candy corn, corn dogs, chili dogs,
warm dogs, hot dogs, hamburgers, spamburger's chicken sandwhich is brave, sandwiches, sliders, grinders, sidewinders, gyros, giros,
sugar coated quiros, cotton candy, rotten candy, ill gotten candy,
(21:30):
Junior Man's, Senior Man's Heart stints, finger splints, hits, six dozen,
slightly disappointing oysters on the fshell left over from the
last time Colin Kaepernick actually played a game.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Show starts at dusk.
Speaker 11 (21:42):
Get there early and let the kids go wild in
the Captain Copperheads Surprise Ball Crawl.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
All masks are welcome.
Speaker 11 (21:50):
We're not worried about the virus, but we are located
between the wastewater treatment plant and the pig farm off
the State log Parkway.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That's a smell of desire, my lady gord. What smells
like a used diaper filled with Indian food?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Oh excuse me?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Smells like a turn covered in burnt hair?
Speaker 11 (22:11):
Right, and remember, friends, only five dollars a card load
and get one dollar off if you sing our jinkle.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Your head.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So what are you waiting for?
Speaker 11 (22:33):
It's almost showtime at the Big show drive in theater.
This is your old Palfert Fern and I'll see you there.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh, there's no way a wonderful summer. Hail it Hill
when I's playing John Boy Jeopardy. If it's a big
world lawn More's prize pack, let's jump right in here.
The next time you smack your hand with a hammer
or need to lift something here heavy study show that
doing this can reduce pain and give you a boost
(23:05):
and strength. Just make sure your mom is an arole?
What is to fart? Interesting? No? What y'all got? Not
on purpose? One eight hundred Big Show you told free line,
Come on and play John boyd Jeopardy next, Good morning.
(23:49):
It's a big show on the radio. Run until you Monday,
June twenty third, I feature track for the Big Show.
Bit Box Oliver greeting cars. Search for key words greeting cars.
They hit the bedbox, had.
Speaker 14 (24:01):
The Bigshow dot com Right now, let's play dance live
across America. It's John boyeb now a man who receives
graduation advice so rock solid we have all passed it
on to our own kids.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Good grief, gradual.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
He's hunting boy applet's ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Of Michael out of Newport, Tennessee. Good morning, Michael, Good morning,
John Boy, Hello buddy. All right, Michael, you got first
shot at it this morning. The next time you smack
your hand with a hammer or need to lift something heavy,
study show doing this can reduce pain and give you
a boost in strength. Just make sure your mom isn't around.
(24:50):
There's that hint. What you got Michael, Well, I know
that when I began begin cussing like a sailor, it
tends to help.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Out a lot. So I'm go with cussing.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Cussing like a sailor any other cussing person. Our dads
were right, So let's see about this. Researchers subjected participants
to painful stimuli like mild electric shocks or tough physical
(25:21):
task like flipping or tractor tire. So those who yelled
obscenities experienced less pain and a temporary boost and strength. Yep.
But participants who weren't allowed to swear or yell at
all showed no improvement at all.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
And this study is on the internet. If you go
through YouTube you can actually find it. It's hilarious. So
I would they just yelling? I don't know if it
has to be a swear?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
WHOA Actually no, the test showed it had to be profanity.
All right. Well, Michael, it worked for you and no
cussing needed. You got the prize back getting you away, buddy.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Well say it, guys, you got it, Michael, hang on.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Bottom of the hour, talb me your news. Only on
the side of this report. Our time caps over this
June twentythir Anyway, this is the award.
Speaker 13 (26:49):
Winning John Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number
one export.
Speaker 15 (27:05):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Arrangement.
As our story opens, Frank Feasley and his daughter Elizabeth
are having lunch in the private dining hall at Bendick
Bendix International Industry.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Wow, this is the loudest cafeteria. Oh honey, the nicest
cafeteria I've ever seen.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
It's not a cafeteria, Dad, it's a dining hall.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Look at all the wood panley. Your boss is a
regular Donald Trump.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Dad. I need to talk to you about something important,
very important.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
By away, my little snugguls.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Dad, You've never been one to, you know, being around
the bush. So if something's on your mind, you always
get straight to the point. So that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Well, what's up, sweetness, Dad?
Speaker 5 (27:56):
I'm pregnant. Doctor says I'm about ten or twelve weeks.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oo.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Okay, who was it? I'll bet it's a sneaky little
trip called Well. He always was a little bit too
chatty for my taste. Hey, mister c how's it going?
What a snake?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Dad?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
No, no trip? And I broke up way before Christmas.
I haven't seen him in months, so it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Trip a good afternoon. May I join you, folks?
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Dad, This is my boss, mister Bendix.
Speaker 13 (28:25):
William J.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Bendix.
Speaker 13 (28:26):
A pleasure to mat you, sir, you too. This is
quite a place you've got here. Well, as they say,
if you got it, flawn it, mister Bendix. I don't
mean to be rude, but my daughter and I were
just having a a private conversation. Yes, I am, shall
we say, intimately involved in the details.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Lissey, you told your boss well he already knew. Mister Feesley,
I am the father of the child in question.
Speaker 5 (28:55):
You you are why I all you need to hear
what he has to say.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
He's stealing my yie on it.
Speaker 13 (29:05):
Mister Feasley, your daughter has been my personal assistant for
six months now. She's an amazing young woman, not only lovely,
but poised and intelligent, far beyond her years. On I'm
sorry those were her ankles. She has become is this thing.
She has become an essential part of this company in
(29:26):
a very short time. On May fifteenth, with her help,
I closed the deal to buy out my primary competitor,
a move which will ensure the success of this company
for years to come. And as you know, May fifteenth
had a further significance on your daughter's life. It was
her twenty first birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Oh yes, this is going somewhere.
Speaker 13 (29:44):
Indeed, it is got a second since those two big
events happened on the same day. I invited your daughter
to have a quick drink after work. To celebrate quick
drink huh, A bottle of vintage wine led to a
five star meal at the s He's finest restaurant. I
fear my judgment was clouded by the alcohol. I invited
(30:06):
your daughter to my private apartment at the company tower.
One thing led to another, and today we find ourselves here,
you know, which is better than the way we found
ourselves there.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
I don't want to make sure that. No, I want
to break the leg off this table and beat your
brains out with it.
Speaker 13 (30:23):
Yes, the punishment I would richly deserve, but I would
like to propose an alternative scenario if I may, and
the arrangement. You're not gonna weasel your way out of this,
you jerk, I assure you that is not my intention.
Mister Feesley. Your daughter has told me she intends to
have the baby and raise it as her own, much
(30:44):
the way Tarzan was rescued by the names. If you've
not seen that movie, I would highly suggest it. She
also tells me she has no interest in marrying me,
which I am quite relieved that he's right.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
But since I bear.
Speaker 13 (30:58):
Responsibility for this situation, here is my proposed arrangement upon
the birth of the but now just hear me out.
Upon the birth of the baby, I will open a
private bank account in the name of your daughter and
the child. Into that account, I will make a one
time cash deposit of fifteen million dollars, enough to care
(31:19):
for both.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Mother and child for the rest of their lives. Fifteen
million dollars.
Speaker 13 (31:23):
Yes, and in the event twins are born, I would
deposit fifteen million into each of two separate accounts. I
know this won't undo the damage I've done, but I'm
committed to doing the right thing. Well, there is one
other details that you seem to be a hard sell.
I want to get out of this, but I'm getting
(31:44):
my ass kicks.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Let me throw this on the table.
Speaker 13 (31:48):
Pregnancy can be fraught with difficulties even in the best
of circumstances.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Which means there is you.
Speaker 13 (31:56):
There is always the possibility of a medical problem that
could to complications, something that would cause your daughter to
lose the baby. But I am prepared to make an
accommodation to your daughter even if no child ends up
being born. Not quite sure what that might be. Do
you have any ideas well? You could always ask her
out for drinks after work again.
Speaker 15 (32:16):
Yeah, well, you hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
If you'd like to.
Speaker 11 (32:26):
Double down, you glad to have a throw with your
old lady jun In again next time we're here.
Speaker 15 (32:32):
The crusty old Lama's coach say, hey, big man, let
me hold a dollar.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Hush, hush hush.
Speaker 7 (32:42):
John Boy and Billy, Hell, yeah boy, Good.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Morning radio dumb right, good morning. It's a big show
(33:20):
on the radio. Here's that call. Good morning, big show.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, And good
morning allor beloved Frien's other and radio land. This here's
a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword of Joshua,
Independent Full Gospel Penny Cooastal Assembly just off State Road
twenty three on the Frontage Road. Well, friends, this dog
one election has been over since November, but to hear
(33:47):
Facebook tell it, we're still right in the middle of it.
Do you think mister Obama had this country split right
down the middle? Or say hello to the orange roughy
historl Donald Trump. I tell you, I had a boy
and his wife in my office from marriage counseling session
the other day. Them two has been hollering at one
(34:08):
another for months over politics. Can you believe that the
husband's one of them people that's in love with the
new fella in the White House and his wife thinks
old Trumpty Dumpty is headed for a great fall, as
she put it. Of course, there's a lot of that
going around lately. The unchurched big government liberals say mister Trump, Oh,
(34:29):
he's the worst thing it's ever happened to this country.
He's like Hitler, which I think most people would agree
is plumb ridiculous. I mean, the Russians didn't help Hitler
get elected. Meanwhile, it seems like most of the church
people has joined up with that loud crowd to think
mister Trump's the only one that can keep the Heathens
(34:51):
from ruining America. Well, beloved, can't nobody keep that from happening?
This whole falling world is gonna circle down to come
at some point, no matter who's up here. Oh preacher,
they go again. Way you gotta be so hopeless. Huh, money,
I ain't hopeless. It's just that I put my hope
(35:11):
in something besides what colored jersey. The man in the
White House has got on. The Bible says, except the
Lord keep the city. The watchman waketh but in vain.
In other words, the Lord in Heaven still got the
final say. Or, as my daddy used to say, the
organ grinder makes some music. The monkey is just the
(35:34):
one that gets all the attention. If all we had
to do to say this whole country was put the
right man in as president, I'd quit being a preacher
and go to work for the League of Women Voters.
Remember that couple it was arguing about politics. Well, here's
what I've done before they come in for the session.
The other day, I went to the Sam's Club and
(35:54):
bought him a brand new high dollar gas grill. I says, y'all,
this is a present. It's just for the two of you.
But now, if you want to take it home, the
tuoians has got to put it together before you leave. Ever,
put a gas grilled together with somebody, it'll show enough
(36:15):
let you know what you think of one. I mean,
at first you argue about every dead gum boating washer.
But if you're smart, you figure out you need some
cooperation to get the dang thing built. And the quicker
you realize you're working on the same project, the quicker
than cheeseburgers is gonna get on the table. And that's
(36:36):
kind of where we're at in America today. We're all
putting together the world's biggest gas drill. Everybody thinks their
piece is the one we need next, and as usual,
we end up with a loose screw at the top.
So when speaking of relationships, I like to invite the
unattached young people in the radio audience to come on
(36:57):
out Saturday night for a bit Sorda Joshua Spring Katillion
and Bible Conference, an abstinence focus Shindig featuring the biblically
accurate and plumb undanceable sound of the Peckerwood Brothers Quartet
with Sister WILLELM. Meaner. The only thing you're young and
to be shaken is their finger in the face of
(37:19):
the backslider after a nurishing energy snack of Graham crackers
and pineapple. Using a special sermon on love from our
guest speaker, Doctor Ainold Hirschweizer from the Snakes and Sparkler's
Pennecossa Temple in Chlamydia, Alabama, he'll deliver the Zach message
(37:40):
today's young people needs to hear. Sex can be the
most dangerous, diabolical and degrading activity in the whole wide world,
and you should always save it for somebody you really love.
The more information called a Sorda Joshua Spring Cotillion hotline
at on eight hundred. Yes, amen, computer people can go
(38:04):
to Sword of Joshua Junior sing what for forward slash?
You know what if I just call it on you,
they always an open door and a double dose of
the God's honest truth awaiting you at the Sword of
Joshua Independent Full of gospel, Pennycostal Assembly just off State
Road twenty three. On the road, this is a Reverend
(38:28):
Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's time to turn so
you don't burn John Boyn. Billy is out y'all. Keep
them straight up, fire.
Speaker 8 (38:39):
Good, Morty, Big Show's on the radio and more Big
Show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like to listen to John Boyce Billy and That.
They're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny haha, funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow, I
figured out why John Boy has a hard time getting
started in the morning. Ain't gotten the gaze
Speaker 5 (39:11):
H
Good morning everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
The big shows on the radio, hangout. We're gonna show
our acting jobs coming up.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
I'm not an actor, damn you. I'm a movie star.
I did one play in summer stuff. I have one
line I forgocket. Thank god, I can write down all
my bits. I'm the dumb boy and Billy big show.
Speaker 4 (01:05):
Talking.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
All right, women, one more time? Yay flag? Oh ruh.
Speaker 5 (01:21):
You walk around all weekend.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
With that up there. It's a brand new work week alone.
Don't question the methods here, all right? It is already June.
Does something I had looked at the calendar usually depend
(01:47):
on range. Get up on the big board there.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
It's at the top of your paper there, honeymoon.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Oh it sure is, baby, it's June to twenty third.
Thank you, there it is. I got a let's see
a National Hydration Day. That's good because boy, it turned
hot last week. Yeah. Well, where we are North Carolina.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
Man, the heat index, you know, the feelds like temperature
a couple of days in row is one hundred and two.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
It's big hot. It's June. It's summer time of National
Pecan Sandy's Day. Yeah, cookie, what's a sandy deal? I know?
The pecan like a sugar cooks.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Deal, like a crumbly cookie. You're kind of like a
tea biscuit.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Like it's a it's good. What about Pink Day? It's
National Pink Day and y'all telling them girls that wear
the pink on the butt is not the pink singer? Correct?
That is a Victoria's Secret brand. I gotta gotta spend
more time in there. Yeah, they prefer you don't. Maybe
(03:00):
you know what you should do.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
Now here's your chance. I've told you this before when
I had a baby in the house. You go to
the mall, You let your wife go wherever she want,
and you just sit on that bench outside of Victoria's
Secret with the baby.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Baby dolls come talking to you. What do you do
the same thing with a puppy? Yes, but they don't
allow them in the mall. Oh service dog baby dolls,
bottom dogs. You've got t go high out to the mall.
Oh yeah, man, he would draw me. All right, Well
(03:35):
one more, it's National Detroit Style Pizza Day, so we'll
we'll go ahead and in their national days with that.
That sounds pretty What's the difference Chicago is the deep dish?
What is Detroit.
Speaker 5 (03:45):
No clue New York is thin and foldable.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Right, all right, well let's check out that Detroit style piece.
Will be a good day to do it. I got
three days in this story saved up. Those will be
very important. I'm gonna use them to get the winning.
Beginning goes, we are awake, Big shows on the radio.
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Turdy
doing good work so far? What's the deal on that
(04:10):
Detroit style pizza? Hero on National Detroit Style Pizza.
Speaker 5 (04:14):
Day, The Google says it's a rectangular, thick crust pizza
characterized by its crispy, cheesy edges and unique layering of toppings.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Nice. Now I'm hungry. Let's do three dates in history
before we get our category so you can win this
Law Tigers prize pack. By the way, let me tell
you about the hat, t shirt, tumbler and the twenty
five dollars gascar. You know you get that right off
the bat. Then you're registered for the ultimate Styling and
(04:47):
Sturgis Trip of a lifetime with over eighty five thousand
dollars in prizes. See details and registration at Stylinginsturgis dot com.
Click that Law Tiger's link. When you go to the
Big Show dot com. Just make sure your name is
in the head as you don't win the prize. Back
here all right, okay. June twenty third, it was nineteen
(05:10):
eighty two. It was minus one hundred and seventeen degrees
at the South Pole, setting the all time low temperature record.
I guess it still stands.
Speaker 6 (05:19):
Yeah, you know the temperature is that low When you
exhale your breath, your breath will literally freeze and drop to.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
The ground in front of you. Wow, it is Well.
Let's move up to nineteen ninety nine. When a bank
robber demanded money in Ornberg, Germany, the taeler routinely asked
to see some ID. Well, the thirty one year old
Robert not only produced his ID card, but he forgot
to get it back rest police a slip a few
(05:47):
hours later, I'm gonna need to Oh okay, sure you
can keep that. And finally, twenty one Britney Spears requested
that a judge in her court ordered conservatorship, stating I
think this conservatorship is abusive. I don't think I can
(06:08):
live a full life. Yeah what happened? She got it?
Speaker 6 (06:12):
She got out, yees, she got out, but she's still
notts just like subtly nuts conservatorship.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
That one ain't under Big Shows you told free line.
Come on, we'll play out bears next Good Monday morning,
(06:54):
June or twenty third Big Shows on the radio. When
I featured track for the Big show, bit Box, he
ever on greeting cards, search for gay words, greeting cards
till the bed box got to make show dot com outpers.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Let's play outpers.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
John Boys and Billy we give.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
The prizes from the big prize being. Let's go contested
number one.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing outpers. Have a hurry up and guest time.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
You have the best time.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
You have a big shot.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Pass head around from Blackbird fir Can Yard.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
We have shots.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Good morning round, Good morning, John Boy, Hello Boddy, welcome
in here. You ready to get you a prize pack?
Speaker 7 (08:02):
I'm ready, let's go.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Let's do it. Then five seconds. Three places that get
real cold, ready to go about whole Minnesota and a
Latin ron give us three places that ask for your ID.
Ready go U bank, adoptor's office, and liquor stool. I
(08:27):
wouldn't guess you was over twenty one? Right, run for
the win. Three things a conservator can do. Ready, go, hey,
you build file you taxes and health turns. Yeah, we
find out, Yeah, you ain't never had. Jackie does that stuff. Alright, Hey, Ron,
(08:57):
good work on you and Buddy bigod Law on Tiger's
prize back qualification for the Ultimate styling in Sturges. You
got it going on up in Blacksburg, Buddy.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
All right, John Boy, thanks a lot.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
All right boy, all right, we're jumping out catching you
up on you knew Robert Earl Kaine on Monday Morning
Song on the other side. H good morning. It's a
(10:01):
big short radio here Monday morning. Let's get the wore.
We're going. Be careful, stay in your lane, taking Robert Earl.
Speaker 8 (10:10):
That's done by Robert Earl Keane is being lying.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
To be your sudio.
Speaker 9 (10:15):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Come on, Jack and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 9 (10:22):
Sometimes on my days are filled with right, THAT'SI trevored
down left Surba. Things ain't going mind way because there's
always someone swirming in my line.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
You keep swirming in my line.
Speaker 9 (10:47):
And it's causing lots of thinger.
Speaker 2 (10:51):
I'm a honking on my horry. I'm shooting you the fling.
I keep switching them.
Speaker 4 (11:00):
A bride lights.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
It's just too dem tell.
Speaker 9 (11:06):
When you're swerving all lives Pie Way, you're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
The day, Joe Way, I thought I never.
Speaker 10 (11:21):
Never could love another. How else could I feed? But
bowing you run into me. I can't believe I could
not see her. I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
(11:43):
You keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of Thames.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
I'm cussing out your name.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
I'm shooting you the fight.
Speaker 9 (11:59):
I keep swim you know, I'm bride the lights, but
you're just too damp to now when you're swerving all
lights o by, you're running someone off the road.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Driving a big show.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Come on, that's big show on the radio.
Speaker 11 (12:52):
Be ready action, Hello friends, you're old Palt bird Burn
Here with another pinky toast stubbing edition of John Boy
and Billy Playhouse Today's episode The Painter. As our story opens,
newly hired highway worker Niles Noodleman is called into the
boss's office.
Speaker 5 (13:12):
Hey, you wanted to see me, boss, Mister Noodleman, come
in oh thanks. All right, now you're our new highway
center line painter.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Correct, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 5 (13:21):
Well, please please have a seat. Can I get you anything?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Why? I sure could use a new set of tires.
Speaker 5 (13:26):
No, I was thinking more along the lines of coffee.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Coffee kind of a letdown after the tires, But sure,
why not Black? No Caucasian? I just get a lot
of sun from working outside.
Speaker 5 (13:39):
No, I meant the cough own Never mind. Okay, mister noodleman.
Do you know why I asked you to come see me?
Speaker 2 (13:46):
You changed your mind about the tires.
Speaker 5 (13:50):
No, no, it's about your job performance.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm doing a great job, aren't I.
Speaker 5 (13:55):
You did, indeed have a promising start. The first day
you painted four miles. It was quite impressive, he know, right,
But the second day you only did three miles.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Well, still pretty good, right, not terrible.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
But the next day you only manage two miles, and
then yesterday you did less than one mile.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Well you really keep tabs on a guy, don't you.
Speaker 5 (14:18):
Well, mister Newtleman, I'm not trying to criticize your work ethic,
but you started out so strong, but your daily productivity
has dwindled quite a bit. I'm trying to figure out why.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Well, not to be condescending, but the answer is pretty obvious.
Don't you think I'm not following you?
Speaker 12 (14:34):
Well, I get less done every day because I keep
getting farther and farther away from the paint can.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Here she comes, and how we hope you enjoy John
Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 12 (14:59):
I bet you feel I'm pretty stupid right about now,
and I'm talking to you Jackie. Tune in next time
when we'll hear the guy that used to have the
job but is now in cuck Amonga say.
Speaker 8 (15:10):
Hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good morning,
you got a big show on the radio. More chance
for you to win coming up after your news, weather
and sports.
Speaker 13 (15:21):
Home, I have no home, hunted, despised, leaping like an animal.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
The jungle is my home.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (15:35):
I will show the world that I am its master.
Speaker 11 (15:39):
I will create my own race of people, a race
of atomic superman that will conquer the world.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And here are the first two Tongboy and Billy from
the Big Show morning. This will make shaw on the
(16:33):
radio for your Monday morning, June twenty third. You having
a birthday today, Happy birthday, Sharing one with one hundred
eighth us Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas. Oh, Clarence seven.
Speaker 5 (16:49):
Older than that.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
Thanks. Former American Idol judge Randy Jackson is sixty nine
years old today. He've been on air for a while
that the American Idol or is a talent deal.
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Is still American Idol and the only original guy is
Ryan Seacrest. Come on, dog, they've been gone.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
Ted Shackelford from Knots Landing in Dallas is seventy nine
years older than Didn't your wife have like a crush
on him?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Yeah, we just gave.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Across some pictures when we were in our studios uptown right. Yeah,
remember when he was in hanging out with us, one
of the only times she ever came to meet a guest.
And I got a page. I got three kids hanging
on her. If y'all look at my boys, they were
even younger than this that Taylor put up on the
Father's Day of the John Boy and Billy Facebook page.
(17:41):
I gotta find that, yes, combing her hair, putting on
making it look like in baby Possums that we like
George put on our Facebook page. And she was so
nervous when she met him. She suck her hand on
me awesome. Good memories, Good memories. Appreciate y'all. Well, let's
(18:05):
make some new memories. See what's happening this summer. The
first feature the Big Show Drive in Theater. Worth the wait,
It's coming in minutes. Big Show rolls on, Good morning,
Big Shows on the radio coming up. We play John
boyd jeveryday. For an assortment of swag from world. Lawn
Moores is the best value zero turned Moores on the
(18:26):
market got a three year unlimited hours warning commercial grade
Kawasaki Engines. Heavy dude who fabricated deck starting at just
twenty nine nine nine world long, tough on grass, easy
on your wallet. Could have gone to link the Big
Show dot com. Risley, what's going on?
Speaker 11 (18:44):
Hello friends, your old pal Bert bird here with some
exciting news. It's almost showtime at the Big Show Drive
in Theater. Only five dollars a car load.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
The drive ins are driving them wild Solute.
Speaker 11 (18:55):
Up the family truckster and come on down to the
all news this Big Show Drive in Theater. This isn't
the same old labeled, washed up West Coast horse nuggets,
crammed full of political correctness.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
And a hidden communist agenda.
Speaker 11 (19:10):
These are all new all exciting pictures with today's audiences
in mind. Just listen to this weekend's lineup. The world
is about to explode, the search for a new world begins.
A crew of Earth's last astronauts launch into the Great Unknown,
only to craft land on the planet of Dirty Red Women.
(19:32):
Watch the all female denizens of the planet jug Toopia
go hog wild when they meet these virile rocket jockeys
and seek to repopulate their own planets.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
My days, handy, It's where Bam, Thank you, Spaceman.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Contex The Planet of Dirty Red.
Speaker 11 (19:49):
Women, starring Joey Fatona's Captain Von Wiener, Joe Gatto as
Wiener Von Captain, Tayter Moran as Queen Hooderella, in a
special appearance by Terry Hansen as Poot Gibson, the flat
Egilant ship's cook who's a bit of a wet talker,
and me, here's a sprinkler on I could never tell
its Filmed in Glorious three Triple D. Also on the
(20:10):
same bill, a group of fret boys on the way
to Bristol for the Big Race.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
End up in a race for their life when they'd break.
Speaker 11 (20:22):
Down in front of the House of one thousand Jeff
Gorton fans.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
The Tri County Nicolsab called it the New Deliverance.
Speaker 11 (20:32):
The Berkeley Village Rabbit Varmit Currier called it the last
peak house on the left.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
You'll call it terrifying. Be warned, no one will be
admitted during.
Speaker 11 (20:42):
The climactic Cornhole Challenge finale of one thousand Jeff Gorton Fans,
starring Justin Bieber as Biff, Justin Tipperlake as Buff, Justin
Long as Boss, and Justin Trudeau as.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
Priscilla, Queen of the Finger Lakes.
Speaker 11 (21:03):
Remember, friends, don't pack a lunch or concession stand has
a bunch at.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
The Big Show drive in theater.
Speaker 11 (21:09):
We've got soda, cider, near beer, far beer, ice water, tapwater,
toilet water, popcorn, caramel corn cream, corn corn of the Cop,
corn off the Cop, candy corn, corn dogs, chili dogs,
warm dogs, hot dogs, hamburgers, spamburger's chicken sandwhich is brave, sandwiches, sliders, grinders, sidewinders, gyros, giros,
sugar coated quiros, cotton candy, rotten candy, ill gotten candy,
(21:30):
Junior Man's, Senior Man's Heart stints, finger splints, hits, six dozen,
slightly disappointing oysters on the fshell left over from the
last time Colin Kaepernick actually played a game.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
Show starts at dusk.
Speaker 11 (21:42):
Get there early and let the kids go wild in
the Captain Copperheads Surprise Ball Crawl.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
All masks are welcome.
Speaker 11 (21:50):
We're not worried about the virus, but we are located
between the wastewater treatment plant and the pig farm off
the State log Parkway.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
That's a smell of desire, my lady gord. What smells
like a used diaper filled with Indian food?
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Oh excuse me?
Speaker 5 (22:07):
What is that?
Speaker 1 (22:08):
Smells like a turn covered in burnt hair?
Speaker 11 (22:11):
Right, and remember, friends, only five dollars a card load
and get one dollar off if you sing our jinkle.
Speaker 4 (22:26):
Your head.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
So what are you waiting for?
Speaker 11 (22:33):
It's almost showtime at the Big show drive in theater.
This is your old Palfert Fern and I'll see you there.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh, there's no way a wonderful summer. Hail it Hill
when I's playing John Boy Jeopardy. If it's a big
world lawn More's prize pack, let's jump right in here.
The next time you smack your hand with a hammer
or need to lift something here heavy study show that
doing this can reduce pain and give you a boost
(23:05):
and strength. Just make sure your mom is an arole?
What is to fart? Interesting? No? What y'all got? Not
on purpose? One eight hundred Big Show you told free line,
Come on and play John boyd Jeopardy next, Good morning.
(23:49):
It's a big show on the radio. Run until you Monday,
June twenty third, I feature track for the Big Show.
Bit Box Oliver greeting cars. Search for key words greeting cars.
They hit the bedbox, had.
Speaker 14 (24:01):
The Bigshow dot com Right now, let's play dance live
across America. It's John boyeb now a man who receives
graduation advice so rock solid we have all passed it
on to our own kids.
Speaker 2 (24:17):
Good grief, gradual.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
He's hunting boy applet's ahead.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Of Michael out of Newport, Tennessee. Good morning, Michael, Good morning,
John Boy, Hello buddy. All right, Michael, you got first
shot at it this morning. The next time you smack
your hand with a hammer or need to lift something heavy,
study show doing this can reduce pain and give you
a boost in strength. Just make sure your mom isn't around.
(24:50):
There's that hint. What you got Michael, Well, I know
that when I began begin cussing like a sailor, it
tends to help.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Out a lot. So I'm go with cussing.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Cussing like a sailor any other cussing person. Our dads
were right, So let's see about this. Researchers subjected participants
to painful stimuli like mild electric shocks or tough physical
(25:21):
task like flipping or tractor tire. So those who yelled
obscenities experienced less pain and a temporary boost and strength. Yep.
But participants who weren't allowed to swear or yell at
all showed no improvement at all.
Speaker 6 (25:38):
And this study is on the internet. If you go
through YouTube you can actually find it. It's hilarious. So
I would they just yelling? I don't know if it
has to be a swear?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
WHOA Actually no, the test showed it had to be profanity.
All right. Well, Michael, it worked for you and no
cussing needed. You got the prize back getting you away, buddy.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Well say it, guys, you got it, Michael, hang on.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Bottom of the hour, talb me your news. Only on
the side of this report. Our time caps over this
June twentythir Anyway, this is the award.
Speaker 13 (26:49):
Winning John Boy and Billy Big Show, the South's number
one export.
Speaker 15 (27:05):
Welcome to John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode the Arrangement.
As our story opens, Frank Feasley and his daughter Elizabeth
are having lunch in the private dining hall at Bendick
Bendix International Industry.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Wow, this is the loudest cafeteria. Oh honey, the nicest
cafeteria I've ever seen.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
It's not a cafeteria, Dad, it's a dining hall.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Look at all the wood panley. Your boss is a
regular Donald Trump.
Speaker 5 (27:40):
Dad. I need to talk to you about something important,
very important.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
By away, my little snugguls.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
Dad, You've never been one to, you know, being around
the bush. So if something's on your mind, you always
get straight to the point. So that's what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Well, what's up, sweetness, Dad?
Speaker 5 (27:56):
I'm pregnant. Doctor says I'm about ten or twelve weeks.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
Oo.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Okay, who was it? I'll bet it's a sneaky little
trip called Well. He always was a little bit too
chatty for my taste. Hey, mister c how's it going?
What a snake?
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Dad?
Speaker 5 (28:13):
No, no trip? And I broke up way before Christmas.
I haven't seen him in months, so it's not.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Trip a good afternoon. May I join you, folks?
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Dad, This is my boss, mister Bendix.
Speaker 13 (28:25):
William J.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Bendix.
Speaker 13 (28:26):
A pleasure to mat you, sir, you too. This is
quite a place you've got here. Well, as they say,
if you got it, flawn it, mister Bendix. I don't
mean to be rude, but my daughter and I were
just having a a private conversation. Yes, I am, shall
we say, intimately involved in the details.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Lissey, you told your boss well he already knew. Mister Feesley,
I am the father of the child in question.
Speaker 5 (28:55):
You you are why I all you need to hear
what he has to say.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
He's stealing my yie on it.
Speaker 13 (29:05):
Mister Feasley, your daughter has been my personal assistant for
six months now. She's an amazing young woman, not only lovely,
but poised and intelligent, far beyond her years. On I'm
sorry those were her ankles. She has become is this thing.
She has become an essential part of this company in
(29:26):
a very short time. On May fifteenth, with her help,
I closed the deal to buy out my primary competitor,
a move which will ensure the success of this company
for years to come. And as you know, May fifteenth
had a further significance on your daughter's life. It was
her twenty first birthday.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Oh yes, this is going somewhere.
Speaker 13 (29:44):
Indeed, it is got a second since those two big
events happened on the same day. I invited your daughter
to have a quick drink after work. To celebrate quick
drink huh, A bottle of vintage wine led to a
five star meal at the s He's finest restaurant. I
fear my judgment was clouded by the alcohol. I invited
(30:06):
your daughter to my private apartment at the company tower.
One thing led to another, and today we find ourselves here,
you know, which is better than the way we found
ourselves there.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
I don't want to make sure that. No, I want
to break the leg off this table and beat your
brains out with it.
Speaker 13 (30:23):
Yes, the punishment I would richly deserve, but I would
like to propose an alternative scenario if I may, and
the arrangement. You're not gonna weasel your way out of this,
you jerk, I assure you that is not my intention.
Mister Feesley. Your daughter has told me she intends to
have the baby and raise it as her own, much
(30:44):
the way Tarzan was rescued by the names. If you've
not seen that movie, I would highly suggest it. She
also tells me she has no interest in marrying me,
which I am quite relieved that he's right.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
But since I bear.
Speaker 13 (30:58):
Responsibility for this situation, here is my proposed arrangement upon
the birth of the but now just hear me out.
Upon the birth of the baby, I will open a
private bank account in the name of your daughter and
the child. Into that account, I will make a one
time cash deposit of fifteen million dollars, enough to care
(31:19):
for both.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Mother and child for the rest of their lives. Fifteen
million dollars.
Speaker 13 (31:23):
Yes, and in the event twins are born, I would
deposit fifteen million into each of two separate accounts. I
know this won't undo the damage I've done, but I'm
committed to doing the right thing. Well, there is one
other details that you seem to be a hard sell.
I want to get out of this, but I'm getting
(31:44):
my ass kicks.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
Let me throw this on the table.
Speaker 13 (31:48):
Pregnancy can be fraught with difficulties even in the best
of circumstances.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Which means there is you.
Speaker 13 (31:56):
There is always the possibility of a medical problem that
could to complications, something that would cause your daughter to
lose the baby. But I am prepared to make an
accommodation to your daughter even if no child ends up
being born. Not quite sure what that might be. Do
you have any ideas well? You could always ask her
out for drinks after work again.
Speaker 15 (32:16):
Yeah, well, you hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
If you'd like to.
Speaker 11 (32:26):
Double down, you glad to have a throw with your
old lady jun In again next time we're here.
Speaker 15 (32:32):
The crusty old Lama's coach say, hey, big man, let
me hold a dollar.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Hush, hush hush.
Speaker 7 (32:42):
John Boy and Billy, Hell, yeah boy, Good.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Morning radio dumb right, good morning. It's a big show
(33:20):
on the radio. Here's that call. Good morning, big show.
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Well, good morning there, John Boy and Billy, And good
morning allor beloved Frien's other and radio land. This here's
a Reverend Billy Ray Collins from the Sword of Joshua,
Independent Full Gospel Penny Cooastal Assembly just off State Road
twenty three on the Frontage Road. Well, friends, this dog
one election has been over since November, but to hear
(33:47):
Facebook tell it, we're still right in the middle of it.
Do you think mister Obama had this country split right
down the middle? Or say hello to the orange roughy
historl Donald Trump. I tell you, I had a boy
and his wife in my office from marriage counseling session
the other day. Them two has been hollering at one
(34:08):
another for months over politics. Can you believe that the
husband's one of them people that's in love with the
new fella in the White House and his wife thinks
old Trumpty Dumpty is headed for a great fall, as
she put it. Of course, there's a lot of that
going around lately. The unchurched big government liberals say mister Trump, Oh,
(34:29):
he's the worst thing it's ever happened to this country.
He's like Hitler, which I think most people would agree
is plumb ridiculous. I mean, the Russians didn't help Hitler
get elected. Meanwhile, it seems like most of the church
people has joined up with that loud crowd to think
mister Trump's the only one that can keep the Heathens
(34:51):
from ruining America. Well, beloved, can't nobody keep that from happening?
This whole falling world is gonna circle down to come
at some point, no matter who's up here. Oh preacher,
they go again. Way you gotta be so hopeless. Huh, money,
I ain't hopeless. It's just that I put my hope
(35:11):
in something besides what colored jersey. The man in the
White House has got on. The Bible says, except the
Lord keep the city. The watchman waketh but in vain.
In other words, the Lord in Heaven still got the
final say. Or, as my daddy used to say, the
organ grinder makes some music. The monkey is just the
(35:34):
one that gets all the attention. If all we had
to do to say this whole country was put the
right man in as president, I'd quit being a preacher
and go to work for the League of Women Voters.
Remember that couple it was arguing about politics. Well, here's
what I've done before they come in for the session.
The other day, I went to the Sam's Club and
(35:54):
bought him a brand new high dollar gas grill. I says, y'all,
this is a present. It's just for the two of you.
But now, if you want to take it home, the
tuoians has got to put it together before you leave. Ever,
put a gas grilled together with somebody, it'll show enough
(36:15):
let you know what you think of one. I mean,
at first you argue about every dead gum boating washer.
But if you're smart, you figure out you need some
cooperation to get the dang thing built. And the quicker
you realize you're working on the same project, the quicker
than cheeseburgers is gonna get on the table. And that's
(36:36):
kind of where we're at in America today. We're all
putting together the world's biggest gas drill. Everybody thinks their
piece is the one we need next, and as usual,
we end up with a loose screw at the top.
So when speaking of relationships, I like to invite the
unattached young people in the radio audience to come on
(36:57):
out Saturday night for a bit Sorda Joshua Spring Katillion
and Bible Conference, an abstinence focus Shindig featuring the biblically
accurate and plumb undanceable sound of the Peckerwood Brothers Quartet
with Sister WILLELM. Meaner. The only thing you're young and
to be shaken is their finger in the face of
(37:19):
the backslider after a nurishing energy snack of Graham crackers
and pineapple. Using a special sermon on love from our
guest speaker, Doctor Ainold Hirschweizer from the Snakes and Sparkler's
Pennecossa Temple in Chlamydia, Alabama, he'll deliver the Zach message
(37:40):
today's young people needs to hear. Sex can be the
most dangerous, diabolical and degrading activity in the whole wide world,
and you should always save it for somebody you really love.
The more information called a Sorda Joshua Spring Cotillion hotline
at on eight hundred. Yes, amen, computer people can go
(38:04):
to Sword of Joshua Junior sing what for forward slash?
You know what if I just call it on you,
they always an open door and a double dose of
the God's honest truth awaiting you at the Sword of
Joshua Independent Full of gospel, Pennycostal Assembly just off State
Road twenty three. On the road, this is a Reverend
(38:28):
Billy Ray Collins reminding you it's time to turn so
you don't burn John Boyn. Billy is out y'all. Keep
them straight up, fire.
Speaker 8 (38:39):
Good, Morty, Big Show's on the radio and more Big
Show right around the corner.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I'm working with mister Bill Cox over his outfit, and
I like to listen to John Boyce Billy and That.
They're big show. I like the way they talk. They're
funny haha, funny queer, that's what they say. Anyhow, I
figured out why John Boy has a hard time getting
started in the morning. Ain't gotten the gaze
Speaker 5 (39:11):
H
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides. Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.