July 2, 2025 • 41 mins
Wednesday (pt 2 of 2): On today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we have an unexpected visit from Cupid - to complain about the heat.. - Marvin Webster has a few thoughts on those high tech toilets that seemed to be making their way into the country.. - What would Summer be without a song from Hoyt and the Junior Nation Band about fishing?.. - The Mayor of Dismal Seepage tells us about his big plans for an Indepen-DANCE Festival.. - Stock up on everything a Southern Boy needs at JD's 24-hour Stores during their big Summer Sale.. - Mad Max phones in to tell us about his first Summer job.. - and Carl Childers walks us out with his review of the movie Independence Day…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, This just in from Hoyt. Hey perverts true
story about a friend of ours that took his wife
on a bass fishing trip. As they say, mayhem ensued.
Half the Junior Nation band's been into the Eagles lately.
The other half's been listening to that Terry Balcom album.
We decided to split the difference. Y'all came straight up
(00:22):
our Hoyt. Here we go, Ladies.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And gentlemen, The Junior Nation Band for resents the tale
of real life stupidity based on a good friend of ours,
and ain't real happy. We wrote this song Gords like this.
He was a white headed man. He was frequently tipsy,
and his wife was the show enough dish. One day
(00:50):
she said you should let me go with you, and
next time you go after free.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
She was a.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Nasty little number who was nice.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
He whipped.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
She was thoroughly smoking. He was thoroughly whipped. They put
the boat on the trailer.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And they drove to the lead.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
He was about to find out he made a giant mistake.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
He had his wife at the bass laid thank you.
Must have lost his mind. His wife at the bass lave.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You are with me so far?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Eager for action, Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
What a parent. He was fixing the fish, she was
fixing her hair, had a garden in instance and a
full tank of gas. The trouble was about to head
him off at the pass and after the marina, they
had wind ground at that rdy little beer joint where
it gets a little loud. It was eight in the
(01:55):
morning when they started to drink. He should have noted
was a bad idea. I have your wife at the
bass lad, I have to make you lose your mind.
Why that the fast laid? Why about the bass.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Laid man idea every time? Why that the bast lad?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
How about a hand for a special guests? Back up vocalists,
the Michael.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Jordanaires party.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
On him.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I don't go.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
By nine o'clock, they had a beer twelve and his
wife started feeling kind.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Of full of herself.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
She said, you are one drug son of a buck.
So you watch the trailer and let me drive the truck.
So she lined up the mirror, stepped on the gas.
She hit him with the trailer and it fell right
on his head. They went straight down the boat ram
just like he taught her.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
But the boat, truck and trailer.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Al went right in the water. They went right in
the bass lade. That truck will never be in the
same Right in the bass lady, right in the fast.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Laid they went until the record came right in the
bass lad And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen,
exactly the wind went down. And when I say went down,
I'm into the bottom of the water at the bottom
of the boatgram. By the way, Record Services provided my
(03:54):
hooint in Delbrid's House of Bondo.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Maybe we have the next Stence Dance.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You didn't get some fun.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Check us out online at the House of Bondo dot com.
Please type carefully. There's a lot of weird stuff out
there on the computer.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Later very mud.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Hey, I like you.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Hey all this play beat the Blonde. Be looking forward
to this one eight hundred Big Show. You told free
Line we'll get a contestant and play next good Wednesday
(04:57):
morning and it's a big show on the radio when
our future track from the Big Show Ben Box headed
the fourth of July.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Carl Childer Childer, I got him Car.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Childers Independence Day movie. He words Carl Day the Box
at the Big Show dot com take out on their
contest bunting and you can't get too might call you
right here, boy tying to play beat the blonde.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Let's meet our contestant Fred.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Say, hey, the Fred had a little river South Carolina. Uh, boy, welcome,
Well so you want them damn Yankees? You come down
here and didn't leave?
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Is you mothery?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
A boy had a boy there. You are a big
show listener man. Well yeah, you you want the burs.
We appreciate you that buddy.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Alright, well, let's see what you can do if we
can get you two bells before two buzzers beating the
blonde for the big old premiere flag from Conder Flags.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
All right, she gets greatly Yankees road. If you wanted
to make your own sea salt, how many gallons of
seawater would you need to make one pound of salt?
Speaker 7 (06:26):
No, no, See, the question is how much would you need?
Because I'm buying mine at the store.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
I'm not making Yeah, you can buy okay salt.
Speaker 9 (06:43):
He's a little slow. It's okay. It's not like us.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
No, he's not for a long time.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
But if I were to make it, I would need
about ten gallons of sea salt.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Oh, you ten gallons of sea salt to make your
own sea salt to make one pound.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
I need ten gallons of seawater to make to make
one pounds salt of salt.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Okay, so so ten gallons at medical equations here on
beat the blown?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Right, So what what do you say, Fred? Agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
All we need more than that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I disagree?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, see that's the way you play the game. Yeah,
it's only four gallons. Four gallons said, Yeah, you got
the that's a yank coming out of there.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
You got the all right, So here we go.
Speaker 9 (07:47):
Yeah, I'm walking here.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
One more bail, Fred, one more beil and you win.
Speaker 9 (07:53):
You've got to see if I understand.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
All right, So here we go. Let let's see what
we got here. Over thirteen thousand miles, the Great Wall
of China is the longest man made structure on earth.
How long did it take to build it?
Speaker 9 (08:09):
I say it's a long time. Eight hundred years.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Eight hundred years, as Mars says. So you're not going
with that, Fred, you agree in or disagree?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
No less than that, less than that, less than eight years?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Okay, So you disagree with eight hundred years?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yes, nothing that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Well, it's a good thing that we didn't take your
answer though. Instead of the disagree and I want to
pour this out. It took eighteen hundred years. Yeah, hundred years.
Speaker 10 (08:47):
So lucky for you you're over on the water and
under on the construction.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Perfect. I've read you got it, honey, when you hang on,
Jack can hurry up.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Happy Independence dayble man, Happy Independence Station's good talking you guys.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I haven't heard you guys since Connecticut radio in New
York radio.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
That's not long man. We lost.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, we're glad you're getting that little river South Carolina.
Been careful out there yet. Alright, right now, we got
you news on the other side. The mayor of Dismal SIPs. No,
he's got something coming up since July.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Fourth, the weekend got him. Not good morning.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
There's a big show on the radio Wednesday morning, Julana second.
There's always something exciting happening in Dismal Seepage, South Carolina.
And here to tell us all about it, the mayor himself,
the Honorable Merwin Q. Fiddle Swoop. Good morning, mister mayor.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Good morning, John Boy and all your wonderful listeners.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
What you got on tapping this weekend? Mayor?
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Thanks for asking, John Boy. As you know, the good
folks here in Dismal Seepage are real Americans. And there's
nothing that real Americans like more than celebrating our freedoms,
you know, while we still have them. Oh, I'm proud
to announce our Big Dismal Seepage fifteenth Annual Independence and
(11:01):
it's happening this weekend.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, nothing says pure Americana like a good small town
fourth or July festival.
Speaker 6 (11:09):
And how John Boy, and we're pulling out all the
stops on this one. The festival kicks off Saturday morning
with our Big America on parade down Main Street featuring
an all trombone marching band.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
That's kind of odd.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
Hold my beer, John Boy. All seventy six members are
dressed as steaks. They're called seventy six t bones.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like seventy six trombones from the Music Man.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
I don't know, I guess, But wait, there's more, John Boy.
We'll have special attractions all weekend long. We're bringing back
our most popular gimmicks from last year, the Amazing Patriot
tag something to.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Do with a maze, I'm guessing.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
Oh, check out the big brain on John Boy. It's
a big corn man and hidden in the maze are
several people dressed like red coats. They've all got a
big sign on their back that says kick me, so
folks can get a taste of the time. We put
the boots to King George and his goon ah.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Sounds like he's gotta stopping to be your red.
Speaker 6 (12:13):
Coat, getting all seventeen seventy six on the ass, Yo,
who can be topical? We've got a big special event
from the Galered Sartaine Art Academy called Color Me American.
Using only red, white and blue paint, our artists will
create living works of patriotic art on the glorious canvas
(12:36):
known as the nude human body models provided by Chili
Nips Gentlemen's Club. Where it's so cold it's hot?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Was this your idea? Mayor?
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Saturday Night is are Saturday Night is our big, big,
big Fight for Freedom event. It's pro wrestling and it's
most American wrestlers dressed as heroes taking on the great
villains of history.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
That's a great idea. So what's a card? Lug Well?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
George Washington takes on Mousey Ding Dong Dung. In the opener,
Ronald Reagan goes head to head with Uncle Joe Stalin
The ladies are in action as Betsy Ross and Eleanor
Roosevelt face off in a tank team match against Tokyo
Rose and Matda Harry. And in the main event, a
steel cage match, the Donald takes on Carl Skid.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Marx's what who am I talking about?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
And this just in, this has just been confirmed. The
President will make an.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Appearance, the real President of the United States.
Speaker 6 (13:35):
No Trump was already booked, but the Gang and Hollywood
Hijieks Animatronics is bringing the next best thing, a lifelike
animatronic Joe Biden robot.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Wow, So how does it look?
Speaker 6 (13:51):
I'm telling you, it's like the real thing. The vacant stare,
the incoherent mumbling, the stupid comments. You can even see
the hair plugs. The patrons will be able to pose
for a pick. Su're with it, but watch out. Get
too close and it'll sniff your hair. Creepy true that
my brother, But I digress. Sunday night stick around for
fireworks provided by one thumb fit Finnegan Fireworks Extravagance alimited.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
It sounds like a slam pack weekend mayor well.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
Not to mention, I'll also be kicking off my next
re election campaign with all sorts of buttons and banners
and bumper stickers. Don't be a stoop vote fiddle swoop.
I don't want to toot my own horn, but you
know too.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I had to ask, but.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Is this whole weekend just a fundraising scheme for your
re election?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
So come on down the fifty nantul in the peddas
this weekend.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I'll see you all there.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Good morning, big shoe's on the radio, and here we go.
Speaker 11 (15:19):
And now deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Jane.
Speaker 12 (15:26):
Yo, yo, Yeah, what's up?
Speaker 6 (15:29):
A budge?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You do it?
Speaker 13 (15:33):
Okay, I'm good. I've just been laying around the house
asking a lot of whis you want to I'm so cool?
Why do meetings always start with can everyone hear me?
I mean with the guy that can't hear them? Bill answer?
(15:59):
And why do we call it adulting when it's mostly
involving convincing ourselves that cereal for dinner is a balanced meal?
Speaker 12 (16:12):
What happens if you get scared half to death? Twice? Sure?
If you choke a smurf like color, will it turn another?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Whow?
Speaker 12 (16:30):
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids? Instead of asteroids. Why are
there no b batteries? Find one? Show it to me.
(16:52):
How is it that we put.
Speaker 13 (16:53):
Like a man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage.
Why do people say they slept like a baby when
babies wake up over it too? You worry about yourself, then, don't.
(17:23):
Why do we say something's out of whack?
Speaker 12 (17:26):
I mean, what the heck is a whack? Notice that
slow down and slow up mean the same thing.
Speaker 13 (17:36):
Oh it's just me, okay, okay, Oh hey, hey, look, hey,
I got a new dog. I named him five miles
so I can tell people I.
Speaker 12 (17:49):
Walk five miles up there that one was for you. Okay,
one more and then like to go turn the ac up.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Cornell?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah you do you man?
Speaker 12 (18:09):
That made my head hurt.
Speaker 13 (18:12):
I saw a sign that said watch for children, and
I thought, hey, that sounds like a fair trade.
Speaker 12 (18:24):
That's it for now. Y'all keep rocking and I'll keep
thinking later.
Speaker 11 (18:31):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat Products. Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Good morning, everybody.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
You got a big show on the radio, right big
showing a radio right.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Ah, let's take any newsletter sports. This is Spanky from
the Yellow Rose.
Speaker 14 (18:53):
You're listening to the greatest morning show and recorded history
of broadcast radio, Young Boy and Billy Big Show. How
big is it?
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Bigger than my head?
Speaker 6 (19:04):
And that's big there?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yees o, b I read it not pay that tabby
a seat dead.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Be good morning. It's a mix show on the radio.
(19:51):
There's summer time.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
You know.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
J D's is hot.
Speaker 15 (19:56):
Howdy friends? In case you failers ain't noticed, this summer
is hotter than healing a cat fight. Again that English
check from the first Austin Pears movie.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
I ain't shaggy jelly Yeah.
Speaker 15 (20:05):
And right here at JD's twenty four hour drive through
paint and gun, onto parts pharmaceutical and don't get back
and tackle discount cigarette out Look, we got all sorts
of stuff to cool you down quicker than seeing Rosie
o'donnald and a fun bikini. That's right, fellers, it's the
JD's Midsummer.
Speaker 12 (20:17):
It's aid damn hot.
Speaker 15 (20:18):
You can't breathing. People are passing out and throwing up
in droves. Mega liquidation sale. Hey, we're dropping prices lower
than an hour insild or during a children's hospital. Why
don't you cool down the whole neighborhood with the all
new JDS six hundred thousand btu thermon nuclear four hundred
horsepowered duel exhaustainless steel self cleaning, an automatic anti exclusive
air conditioner complete with quick load plutonium charges declared illegal
with punishment by death and over fourteen Midwestern states. Or
(20:41):
spend hours and hours of summer family fine with the
all new JD's liquid nitrogen stutter caitch, Oh the young guns,
just how much fune it can be to completely freeze
live animals up to two hundred pounds and shatter them
into a megan pieces with a baseball bat.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Let's do another poodled Daddy and boys.
Speaker 15 (20:56):
We all know that summer's the season.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Eleven?
Speaker 15 (20:58):
Are you turned of getting no loving from the bay
dollars because.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
You ain't married to them? Where are the white women
at well?
Speaker 15 (21:02):
Problem solved with JD's new drive through marriage chapel. Now
you can pull up to the wind to say a
few words, run off and give her the what four
come on back and have it annoed by some Catholic fella.
Speaker 5 (21:10):
We hiring a good lord won't know the difference.
Speaker 15 (21:12):
What better way to get rid of months and months
of bottled up hormones and keep from going to hell at.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
The same time?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Who can argue with that?
Speaker 15 (21:18):
Hey, Like we've said before, we don't do it for
the money.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
We do it because, by gout we care.
Speaker 15 (21:22):
We got propane, axle grease, submoovers, thirty thirty's all filters,
xl likes, booby tassels, nine crawlers, trolling motors, porking beans,
and a whole passel of barefooted posters. And that girl
from What Used Today? That fella from Motley Crue. So
what the hell else is more important than you? Pathetic life?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Right now?
Speaker 15 (21:34):
Haul you hanging in on down to jde's twenty four
hour drive through Ponta, Gon Auto Parks, Pharmaceutical, Adult Gift
bat and Tackle discount cigarette out Look. I'm visiting our
new location in Summerville, South Carolina, next to Big Attinga's
Deep Fried Pots and Legs and festered hair Removal. Do
it today, j D's j d's what a Southern Boy Names?
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Good Morning, I got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Hey, oh Mad Mike, special call surprise ring from the Maxer.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
I want to tell you about wordy word. We're gonna play.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right after that for a hat, T shirt and Tumblr
plus a twenty five dollars gas card, all from our
buds from Low Tigers. Of those, we're teamed with Low
Tigers for ultimate styling and Sturgis trip of a lifetime.
These guys do this every Year's unbelievable, y'all. Over eighty
five thousand dollars in prizes. You see details and registration.
(22:28):
It's Stylingansturgis dot com. Look for the Low Tigers link
when you hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on
play four to ten minutes right now, Let's get it.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Good morning, ain't Big Show?
Speaker 6 (22:39):
John mor Mad Max?
Speaker 5 (22:41):
How's it going Byny?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
You think?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Well, I'm some mad A guy would crawl ten miles
cross broken glass niggad just to hear me poot to
a walkie talkie. Wait, that's how pretty well anyway, y'all,
this is a big moment in the mad Max house.
My youngest boy just lined up his first summer job.
He's working at the Regal Cinema right around the corner
(23:07):
from the house. I'm here to tell you that meets
a dog crab out of what I was doing at
his age, lugging two hundred pound rolls of shag carpet
to a construction site. Now that was the summer I
decided I wasn't cut out for hands on work and
went looking for something more of the heaviest thing you
got a toad is a clipboard and a pencil. In
(23:29):
other words, a crappy summer job forty years ago made
me the top notch construction supervisor I am today, and
I think this working at the movie house deal is
perfect for my boy. It's indoors, no heavy lifting, and
anybody that's been to the movies knows you ain't gotta
(23:49):
try to set no land speed records working the concessions.
So man, I just say, I'm extremely grateful to the
fine folks at Regal Entertainment were giving my son an
opportunity to get some real life work experience. In case
you're wondering being so nice to the Regal people, because
I'm fexing to drive my pick up right straight up
(24:12):
there rear. My boy comes home from his first day
with some flyer they're handing out in the lobby talking
about a new deal they got. It's called the My
Way matinee says here, Regal invites guests of all ages
to enjoy sensory friendly movie screenings with a My Way
(24:34):
Matinee program, a fun, exciting entertainment experience with the lights
brighter and the sound lower. My Way Matinee gives audiences
a chance to sing, dance and shout during the film. Now,
by may, I'd like to pause right here and offer
a brief response my big on fund. The lights are brighter,
(25:00):
the sound is lower, and they want people to sing,
dance and shout during the film. Now, why would I
pay six fifty a seed for someone getting my living
room for free. I'll get him credit for trying something new.
But I think they've picked the wrong name for it.
Instead of My Way Matinee, they should have called it
(25:21):
Mad Max Goes to Hell. And the worst part is
it's a family friendly screening, which means a room full
of six year old kids hopped up on him fifteen
dollars twistlers they fell out in the lobby. Now does
that sound sensory friendly to me? It sounds like the
Rocky Horror Picture Show with Sherlock gnomes Instill the Doctor Franklin.
(25:47):
I'd love to hear the phone call from the head
god Regal gonna get from the president of the M
and MS. I think it gonna go something like this, Hey, Einstein,
I heard about your little matinee brainstorm. Tell me why
do sam? Hell have I been paying you all to
run them ads where the red eminem tells everybody to
shut up and cut your phones off during the movie.
(26:10):
You're out there encouraging everything we've been trying to get
rid of for the last ten years. But if we're
thinking outside the box, how about we make a new
ad where the em and ms tell everybody how to
sneak their own food is and we could have another
one where they show you how to bootleg the movie
on your phone. Hey, maybe Disney could do one where
(26:32):
Woody from Toy Story comes out and tells the kids
how cool smoking cigarettes. Con Do you want to be
in the movie business? Cause you ain't acting like like
I say. I hate to pick on a company that
just gave my boy a job, but the last thing
we need to do is encourage the next generation how
(26:53):
to be even more nerve racking at the movie. Now,
sat down, shut up, and quit running. My three friendly
experis y'all boy, y'all at the movie.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Y'all, Let's play some wordy word. Y'all won eight hundred
Big Show you told free line. We'll get a couple
of contestants and play next hit the Big Show the
(27:42):
radio Wednesday morning, July second. In that feature track Fen
the make Shore venting Bogs called Jender, He'll spend the
yard the Independence Day movie. I got that back thirty
minutes when he hit the Big Show. Dot com click
got on their contest Monday can't get to We call
you Meganapolis.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
And everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Okay, no birdy word, the wordy word.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Let's meet the contestants. We got a Robert from Brunswick, Georgia.
Good morning, Roberts Hello, Hello, Hello, come hen we got
we got Genren from Blue Ridge, Georgia.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Good morning, John Rong, Jen Row, John Rong Will will
very all right.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
Man, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Boy is gonna play some wordy word? Damn Tayter and
Genren and John Boy and how are you good man?
Speaker 9 (28:49):
Did hear you?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
All right?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
So Genren, you relax. Me and Robert are gonna go
for the first thirty seconds. See we put some points
on the board.
Speaker 5 (28:58):
Robert you ready, Oh, let's do this. Hey, hey guys.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
By the way, words dealing with motor vehicles. Motor vehicles
is the title of our word tablet. Right now, all right,
all right, John Morne, Robert starting to clock. Now, when
it rains, you turn on your Yes, ah, you mash
(29:22):
this to change a year mashing the what this is?
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Yes? Uh huh. This is where the fumes come out
your blank pipe.
Speaker 8 (29:35):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You set this and when you're going down the road
to maintain your speeds. Set then uh huh. Change blank
from first to second blank here, Yes, way to go, Robert.
You get on that and we'll put a five on
the board. Oh right, and now it's Tater and John run.
Speaker 6 (29:56):
All right, all right, Tater, come on, let's go.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
A new word and go.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
All right.
Speaker 9 (30:02):
Your headlights you turn on with the high beams.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
It's called the what low.
Speaker 14 (30:07):
No, no, no.
Speaker 9 (30:08):
When you turn your your and then you turn on
your blank lights running lots, parking lot, no, the really
blank ones there lot. Yes, this is what you have
on the back of your car that police check out. Hey, yeah,
but what is what's the thing there?
Speaker 13 (30:26):
You go?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Boy?
Speaker 9 (30:27):
This is you got fifty five blank it's on your
three letters.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Uh sleep doing that and there's a buzzer and y'all
put a two on the board.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
That was some toughies coming in there. But we still
got a game.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's five heading into round two. Hi, Robert, let's see
what we can do for our next thirty Are you ready?
Speaker 6 (30:50):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Picking up on that last one. Go how fast you're going?
The three letters? A mouth crowder?
Speaker 6 (30:57):
Yeah? Alright?
Speaker 5 (30:58):
In the letters?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:59):
Okay, this is where you take other kids to school.
You are running a what you are ahead of the
what like you?
Speaker 6 (31:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (31:12):
Not the front blank, but the blank blank? Look at
the what do you do?
Speaker 6 (31:18):
You got four of these? You're in front? Are you
end up? Boy?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
That's a tough one. Not saying yeah before Taylor can
think about it. Hed on with that seven score five?
Speaker 5 (31:32):
Will tie? Tater and John run ready?
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Go?
Speaker 9 (31:36):
If we were going to make out, we would make out.
Where in the car?
Speaker 3 (31:42):
No car in the car? They are?
Speaker 9 (31:46):
This is another another name for wreck, is called what
I was in?
Speaker 6 (31:50):
A what accident?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (31:51):
Another name?
Speaker 7 (31:52):
They blanked the car. The cars did this, They blanked,
They blanked into each other. They yes, yeah, this is you.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Don't go forward, you go in what reverse?
Speaker 9 (32:05):
You uh, this is an extra. One of these is
called the what oh yeah on the board.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Sorry, Robert wins seven and five second for the game.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
You know Taylor, So y'all would get in the back
seat to make out. How about that.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
I watched a lot of fifties movies and they're making
out in the back seat.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
What well, John, run down Blue Ridge, Buddie. We appreciate
you playing you try again anytime, all.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Right, my man, Thank you.
Speaker 15 (32:37):
I'm a long long time listener and first time color
so thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
I could give a shout out to my buddy Joe and.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
My brother Josh for being a brother.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Well John run awesome, guys, man, We appreciate y'all time.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Buddy right, my god, having down a road and Robert,
look at you over in Brunswick getting a big old
Lord Tiger's prize fight.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
Congratulations man you good amy, Thank you brother. Good morning.
I got the Big show on the radio. Baby quest
one goir.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Mandy Gilly says, bet requests anything by Slash with Tim Wilson.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
Thank you x O x O with Mandy. Thank you
for checking in with us. Baby'll get you something next.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Good morning, Big Shows on the Radio, Mandy Gilly, fan
of the late Greating Tim Wilsons.
Speaker 10 (33:59):
Go Church league softball fist fight getting washed in the
blood on a Tuesday night. What would Jesus do, Lord,
he wouldn't do that? Knock hell out of a preacher
with the softball band. Well, the swinging Shepherds from the
Sheep of the Savior were tied with the sour Wood
(34:21):
Church of Christ, an example of some highly unholy behavior
in a game that had already been protested twice. Something
on biblical must have been said for them to be
aim and heat Adam Minister's Headqualking the clergy ain't the
thing to do, but neither's the high hard one on
a oh in tune church league softball fistfight, A bloody
(34:44):
laying on a hands neat the left field lights, knocking
out four teeth, getting the bus dead left ain't exactly
my idea of Christian fellowship church league softball fistfight rolling
around the you's my own. It just don't look right
for nice people from the church from the Sunday school
class to trade the cup of brotherhood for a can
(35:07):
up that's not going to cost you twenty seven to fifty.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Amen, Brother good morning big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
But this visit with Carl Fey words Carl Day when
you hit the big box at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 11 (35:55):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childers.
Speaker 14 (36:02):
I figured since we was right around the fourth of July,
it might be a good time to tell the story
of Independence Day.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I can tell you about it if you owed me too.
Speaker 14 (36:12):
All right, well, sir, what's upon a time the Fresh
Prince was in the Air Force. He was living in
sin with this exotic dancer. Some folks call them strippers.
I call them exotic dancers. You could tell what she'd
done for a living on account of her false bosoms.
(36:33):
While the Fresh Prince was getting jiggy with that dancer Gal.
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Tainter like that.
Speaker 14 (36:41):
A passel of Martians, they decided they had a hanker
and to take over the Earth. Them space ships were
flying all over the world, just hanging in the sky
there waiting to make their move. Then that fella that
played the fly in that Fly movie. He's working over
to the cable company. He had a boss there kindly
talked like me. He kept hollering David. Well, sir, the
(37:09):
fly caught onto their plans about that time. Then Martians
started blowing up stuff. The President couldn't figure out what
to do, but to fly. He had it all figured out.
But the President he's a tag prideful and didn't want
to listen to him. But about the time the White
House blowed up, he come around a bit. So the President,
the Fly, and that fella from Taxi and some other folks.
(37:31):
They all flied off to the desert where it is safe.
The Fresh Prince and that gianz singer that thinks a
good bit of hisself ain't tried fighting them Martians off.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
But the Martians put a hurting on.
Speaker 14 (37:42):
Them, but Good wiped them all out, except for the
Fresh Prince. He managed to wreck one of them Martians
rigs plumb whooped the tar out of him. Then he
smoked a cigar. I didn't understand that part of it, well, sir.
He wrapped up that Martian fella and nold parachute come
in and dragging him across the desert. All of a sudden,
he run up on cousin Eddy from in Vacation Movies.
(38:06):
He was in a bad way with a hard liquor,
driving a motor home with a bunch of other folks,
in tow. They helped the fresh Prince towed him to
that secret place in the desert there where they had
a bunch of them space boogers and big old jars.
David had one of their ship rigs there floating in
space right there in the garage. Seemed like this wasn't
the first time them space bogers had been here. I
(38:27):
guess they're back looking for all their friends. Well, sir,
them scientists fellas at this secret place. They was kindly
curious about what was inside them. Martian. They started cutting
one of them open. Trouble was, he weren't quite dead yet.
He jumped up, started tearing up the place. He even
turned that mister Data from Star Trek into a hand puppy. Well, sir,
(38:50):
they know dem Martian was fixing the take over the world.
They didn't have much time to stop it. The Fly
there they figured out how to get him and him
and that fresh Prince flew up to that float the
space rig up in the big ship there and charge
of everything. They used the Fly's laptop computer and they
knocked that invisible fence down and blowed up the big ship.
(39:10):
Mister Bill Cox said that was pretty neat trick he
can't hardly get on his Facebook. Back on Earth, the
President gave a speech about being Independence Day, got everybody
to yeh hawing. They showed everybody else in the world
low of knocked them space ships out, and they commenced
to getting it done. Cousin Eddie he sobered up long
(39:31):
enough to fly his plane right up into the space
ship's backside. It blowed up real good. All them Martians
was yelling, what'd you kill us Martians fur? What does
kill us Martians fur? Except they were doing in Martian talk.
I didn't understand it, and it makes sense that that's
what they'd be saying. Then to fly and the fresh
prince they come back to Earth smoked another cigar. I
(39:53):
didn't get that part of it. Then, once all the
people in the world high fived each other and celebrated,
they cleaned up and went back to hating each other
like they supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
More of the story, It.
Speaker 14 (40:05):
Don't matter if you come from Mars or Hawaiire. When
you start fooling around with American freedoms, we get a
mite hot about it.
Speaker 11 (40:12):
The end story time is brought to you by Hard
Graves potted meat product chock full of all American peckers
and lips since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 14 (40:22):
You want to use these sparklers to light DC guard
Little Fellers here or what up?
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Big Boxes?
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Here?
Speaker 11 (40:29):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine. Buy
them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the Big
Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
Order a Big Show Stuff by phone.
Speaker 11 (40:39):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Endemic dot com.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
You can hear it all the John Wore Milling lighton
Risers podcast up next a little Wherever you get your podcast,
MAGANESI subscribe to it is with the free I Heard
Radio app.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
We Love You mean It
Speaker 6 (41:00):
Ay,
All right, This just in from Hoyt. Hey perverts true
story about a friend of ours that took his wife
on a bass fishing trip. As they say, mayhem ensued.
Half the Junior Nation band's been into the Eagles lately.
The other half's been listening to that Terry Balcom album.
We decided to split the difference. Y'all came straight up
(00:22):
our Hoyt. Here we go, Ladies.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And gentlemen, The Junior Nation Band for resents the tale
of real life stupidity based on a good friend of ours,
and ain't real happy. We wrote this song Gords like this.
He was a white headed man. He was frequently tipsy,
and his wife was the show enough dish. One day
(00:50):
she said you should let me go with you, and
next time you go after free.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
She was a.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Nasty little number who was nice.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
He whipped.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
She was thoroughly smoking. He was thoroughly whipped. They put
the boat on the trailer.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And they drove to the lead.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
He was about to find out he made a giant mistake.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
He had his wife at the bass laid thank you.
Must have lost his mind. His wife at the bass lave.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
You are with me so far?
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Eager for action, Oh.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
What a parent. He was fixing the fish, she was
fixing her hair, had a garden in instance and a
full tank of gas. The trouble was about to head
him off at the pass and after the marina, they
had wind ground at that rdy little beer joint where
it gets a little loud. It was eight in the
(01:55):
morning when they started to drink. He should have noted
was a bad idea. I have your wife at the
bass lad, I have to make you lose your mind.
Why that the fast laid? Why about the bass.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Laid man idea every time? Why that the bast lad?
Speaker 2 (02:21):
How about a hand for a special guests? Back up vocalists,
the Michael.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Jordanaires party.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
On him.
Speaker 5 (02:46):
I don't go.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
By nine o'clock, they had a beer twelve and his
wife started feeling kind.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Of full of herself.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
She said, you are one drug son of a buck.
So you watch the trailer and let me drive the truck.
So she lined up the mirror, stepped on the gas.
She hit him with the trailer and it fell right
on his head. They went straight down the boat ram
just like he taught her.
Speaker 5 (03:19):
But the boat, truck and trailer.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Al went right in the water. They went right in
the bass lade. That truck will never be in the
same Right in the bass lady, right in the fast.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Laid they went until the record came right in the
bass lad And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen,
exactly the wind went down. And when I say went down,
I'm into the bottom of the water at the bottom
of the boatgram. By the way, Record Services provided my
(03:54):
hooint in Delbrid's House of Bondo.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Maybe we have the next Stence Dance.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
You didn't get some fun.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
Check us out online at the House of Bondo dot com.
Please type carefully. There's a lot of weird stuff out
there on the computer.
Speaker 6 (04:12):
Later very mud.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Hey, I like you.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Hey all this play beat the Blonde. Be looking forward
to this one eight hundred Big Show. You told free
Line we'll get a contestant and play next good Wednesday
(04:57):
morning and it's a big show on the radio when
our future track from the Big Show Ben Box headed
the fourth of July.
Speaker 5 (05:04):
Carl Childer Childer, I got him Car.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Childers Independence Day movie. He words Carl Day the Box
at the Big Show dot com take out on their
contest bunting and you can't get too might call you
right here, boy tying to play beat the blonde.
Speaker 5 (05:25):
Let's meet our contestant Fred.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Say, hey, the Fred had a little river South Carolina. Uh, boy, welcome,
Well so you want them damn Yankees? You come down
here and didn't leave?
Speaker 5 (05:45):
Is you mothery?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
That's right?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
A boy had a boy there. You are a big
show listener man. Well yeah, you you want the burs.
We appreciate you that buddy.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
There you go.
Speaker 5 (06:00):
Alright, well, let's see what you can do if we
can get you two bells before two buzzers beating the
blonde for the big old premiere flag from Conder Flags.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
All right, she gets greatly Yankees road. If you wanted
to make your own sea salt, how many gallons of
seawater would you need to make one pound of salt?
Speaker 7 (06:26):
No, no, See, the question is how much would you need?
Because I'm buying mine at the store.
Speaker 8 (06:30):
I'm not making Yeah, you can buy okay salt.
Speaker 9 (06:43):
He's a little slow. It's okay. It's not like us.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
No, he's not for a long time.
Speaker 7 (06:50):
But if I were to make it, I would need
about ten gallons of sea salt.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Oh, you ten gallons of sea salt to make your
own sea salt to make one pound.
Speaker 7 (07:00):
I need ten gallons of seawater to make to make
one pounds salt of salt.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Okay, so so ten gallons at medical equations here on
beat the blown?
Speaker 5 (07:13):
Right, So what what do you say, Fred? Agree or disagree?
Speaker 6 (07:20):
All we need more than that?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
I disagree?
Speaker 5 (07:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Well, see that's the way you play the game. Yeah,
it's only four gallons. Four gallons said, Yeah, you got
the that's a yank coming out of there.
Speaker 5 (07:41):
You got the all right, So here we go.
Speaker 9 (07:47):
Yeah, I'm walking here.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
One more bail, Fred, one more beil and you win.
Speaker 9 (07:53):
You've got to see if I understand.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
All right, So here we go. Let let's see what
we got here. Over thirteen thousand miles, the Great Wall
of China is the longest man made structure on earth.
How long did it take to build it?
Speaker 9 (08:09):
I say it's a long time. Eight hundred years.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Eight hundred years, as Mars says. So you're not going
with that, Fred, you agree in or disagree?
Speaker 3 (08:21):
No less than that, less than that, less than eight years?
Speaker 5 (08:24):
Okay, So you disagree with eight hundred years?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yes, nothing that.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Well, it's a good thing that we didn't take your
answer though. Instead of the disagree and I want to
pour this out. It took eighteen hundred years. Yeah, hundred years.
Speaker 10 (08:47):
So lucky for you you're over on the water and
under on the construction.
Speaker 5 (08:56):
Perfect. I've read you got it, honey, when you hang on,
Jack can hurry up.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Happy Independence dayble man, Happy Independence Station's good talking you guys.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
I haven't heard you guys since Connecticut radio in New
York radio.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
That's not long man. We lost.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Yeah, we're glad you're getting that little river South Carolina.
Been careful out there yet. Alright, right now, we got
you news on the other side. The mayor of Dismal SIPs. No,
he's got something coming up since July.
Speaker 5 (09:33):
Fourth, the weekend got him. Not good morning.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
There's a big show on the radio Wednesday morning, Julana second.
There's always something exciting happening in Dismal Seepage, South Carolina.
And here to tell us all about it, the mayor himself,
the Honorable Merwin Q. Fiddle Swoop. Good morning, mister mayor.
Speaker 6 (10:32):
Good morning, John Boy and all your wonderful listeners.
Speaker 5 (10:37):
What you got on tapping this weekend? Mayor?
Speaker 6 (10:40):
Thanks for asking, John Boy. As you know, the good
folks here in Dismal Seepage are real Americans. And there's
nothing that real Americans like more than celebrating our freedoms,
you know, while we still have them. Oh, I'm proud
to announce our Big Dismal Seepage fifteenth Annual Independence and
(11:01):
it's happening this weekend.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, nothing says pure Americana like a good small town
fourth or July festival.
Speaker 6 (11:09):
And how John Boy, and we're pulling out all the
stops on this one. The festival kicks off Saturday morning
with our Big America on parade down Main Street featuring
an all trombone marching band.
Speaker 5 (11:24):
That's kind of odd.
Speaker 6 (11:25):
Hold my beer, John Boy. All seventy six members are
dressed as steaks. They're called seventy six t bones.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Like seventy six trombones from the Music Man.
Speaker 6 (11:40):
I don't know, I guess, But wait, there's more, John Boy.
We'll have special attractions all weekend long. We're bringing back
our most popular gimmicks from last year, the Amazing Patriot
tag something to.
Speaker 5 (11:53):
Do with a maze, I'm guessing.
Speaker 6 (11:54):
Oh, check out the big brain on John Boy. It's
a big corn man and hidden in the maze are
several people dressed like red coats. They've all got a
big sign on their back that says kick me, so
folks can get a taste of the time. We put
the boots to King George and his goon ah.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
Sounds like he's gotta stopping to be your red.
Speaker 6 (12:13):
Coat, getting all seventeen seventy six on the ass, Yo,
who can be topical? We've got a big special event
from the Galered Sartaine Art Academy called Color Me American.
Using only red, white and blue paint, our artists will
create living works of patriotic art on the glorious canvas
(12:36):
known as the nude human body models provided by Chili
Nips Gentlemen's Club. Where it's so cold it's hot?
Speaker 5 (12:44):
Was this your idea? Mayor?
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Saturday Night is are Saturday Night is our big, big,
big Fight for Freedom event. It's pro wrestling and it's
most American wrestlers dressed as heroes taking on the great
villains of history.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
That's a great idea. So what's a card? Lug Well?
Speaker 6 (13:04):
George Washington takes on Mousey Ding Dong Dung. In the opener,
Ronald Reagan goes head to head with Uncle Joe Stalin
The ladies are in action as Betsy Ross and Eleanor
Roosevelt face off in a tank team match against Tokyo
Rose and Matda Harry. And in the main event, a
steel cage match, the Donald takes on Carl Skid.
Speaker 5 (13:25):
Marx's what who am I talking about?
Speaker 6 (13:28):
And this just in, this has just been confirmed. The
President will make an.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
Appearance, the real President of the United States.
Speaker 6 (13:35):
No Trump was already booked, but the Gang and Hollywood
Hijieks Animatronics is bringing the next best thing, a lifelike
animatronic Joe Biden robot.
Speaker 5 (13:49):
Wow, So how does it look?
Speaker 6 (13:51):
I'm telling you, it's like the real thing. The vacant stare,
the incoherent mumbling, the stupid comments. You can even see
the hair plugs. The patrons will be able to pose
for a pick. Su're with it, but watch out. Get
too close and it'll sniff your hair. Creepy true that
my brother, But I digress. Sunday night stick around for
fireworks provided by one thumb fit Finnegan Fireworks Extravagance alimited.
Speaker 5 (14:13):
It sounds like a slam pack weekend mayor well.
Speaker 6 (14:17):
Not to mention, I'll also be kicking off my next
re election campaign with all sorts of buttons and banners
and bumper stickers. Don't be a stoop vote fiddle swoop.
I don't want to toot my own horn, but you
know too.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
I had to ask, but.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Is this whole weekend just a fundraising scheme for your
re election?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
So come on down the fifty nantul in the peddas
this weekend.
Speaker 3 (14:47):
I'll see you all there.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Good morning, big shoe's on the radio, and here we go.
Speaker 11 (15:19):
And now deep thoughts with Zach the weed Guy's girlfriend
Mary Jane.
Speaker 12 (15:26):
Yo, yo, Yeah, what's up?
Speaker 6 (15:29):
A budge?
Speaker 3 (15:33):
You do it?
Speaker 13 (15:33):
Okay, I'm good. I've just been laying around the house
asking a lot of whis you want to I'm so cool?
Why do meetings always start with can everyone hear me?
I mean with the guy that can't hear them? Bill answer?
(15:59):
And why do we call it adulting when it's mostly
involving convincing ourselves that cereal for dinner is a balanced meal?
Speaker 12 (16:12):
What happens if you get scared half to death? Twice? Sure?
If you choke a smurf like color, will it turn another?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Whow?
Speaker 12 (16:30):
Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids? Instead of asteroids. Why are
there no b batteries? Find one? Show it to me.
(16:52):
How is it that we put.
Speaker 13 (16:53):
Like a man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage.
Why do people say they slept like a baby when
babies wake up over it too? You worry about yourself, then, don't.
(17:23):
Why do we say something's out of whack?
Speaker 12 (17:26):
I mean, what the heck is a whack? Notice that
slow down and slow up mean the same thing.
Speaker 13 (17:36):
Oh it's just me, okay, okay, Oh hey, hey, look, hey,
I got a new dog. I named him five miles
so I can tell people I.
Speaker 12 (17:49):
Walk five miles up there that one was for you. Okay,
one more and then like to go turn the ac up.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Cornell?
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Yeah you do you man?
Speaker 12 (18:09):
That made my head hurt.
Speaker 13 (18:12):
I saw a sign that said watch for children, and
I thought, hey, that sounds like a fair trade.
Speaker 12 (18:24):
That's it for now. Y'all keep rocking and I'll keep
thinking later.
Speaker 11 (18:31):
Deep Thoughts is brought to you by Hard Graves Potted
Meat Products. Because it's four twenty somewhere.
Speaker 5 (18:41):
Good morning, everybody.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
You got a big show on the radio, right big
showing a radio right.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
Ah, let's take any newsletter sports. This is Spanky from
the Yellow Rose.
Speaker 14 (18:53):
You're listening to the greatest morning show and recorded history
of broadcast radio, Young Boy and Billy Big Show. How
big is it?
Speaker 5 (19:02):
Bigger than my head?
Speaker 6 (19:04):
And that's big there?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yees o, b I read it not pay that tabby
a seat dead.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Be good morning. It's a mix show on the radio.
(19:51):
There's summer time.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
You know.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
J D's is hot.
Speaker 15 (19:56):
Howdy friends? In case you failers ain't noticed, this summer
is hotter than healing a cat fight. Again that English
check from the first Austin Pears movie.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
I ain't shaggy jelly Yeah.
Speaker 15 (20:05):
And right here at JD's twenty four hour drive through
paint and gun, onto parts pharmaceutical and don't get back
and tackle discount cigarette out Look, we got all sorts
of stuff to cool you down quicker than seeing Rosie
o'donnald and a fun bikini. That's right, fellers, it's the
JD's Midsummer.
Speaker 12 (20:17):
It's aid damn hot.
Speaker 15 (20:18):
You can't breathing. People are passing out and throwing up
in droves. Mega liquidation sale. Hey, we're dropping prices lower
than an hour insild or during a children's hospital. Why
don't you cool down the whole neighborhood with the all
new JDS six hundred thousand btu thermon nuclear four hundred
horsepowered duel exhaustainless steel self cleaning, an automatic anti exclusive
air conditioner complete with quick load plutonium charges declared illegal
with punishment by death and over fourteen Midwestern states. Or
(20:41):
spend hours and hours of summer family fine with the
all new JD's liquid nitrogen stutter caitch, Oh the young guns,
just how much fune it can be to completely freeze
live animals up to two hundred pounds and shatter them
into a megan pieces with a baseball bat.
Speaker 5 (20:53):
Let's do another poodled Daddy and boys.
Speaker 15 (20:56):
We all know that summer's the season.
Speaker 5 (20:58):
Eleven?
Speaker 15 (20:58):
Are you turned of getting no loving from the bay
dollars because.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
You ain't married to them? Where are the white women
at well?
Speaker 15 (21:02):
Problem solved with JD's new drive through marriage chapel. Now
you can pull up to the wind to say a
few words, run off and give her the what four
come on back and have it annoed by some Catholic fella.
Speaker 5 (21:10):
We hiring a good lord won't know the difference.
Speaker 15 (21:12):
What better way to get rid of months and months
of bottled up hormones and keep from going to hell at.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
The same time?
Speaker 4 (21:16):
Who can argue with that?
Speaker 15 (21:18):
Hey, Like we've said before, we don't do it for
the money.
Speaker 5 (21:20):
We do it because, by gout we care.
Speaker 15 (21:22):
We got propane, axle grease, submoovers, thirty thirty's all filters,
xl likes, booby tassels, nine crawlers, trolling motors, porking beans,
and a whole passel of barefooted posters. And that girl
from What Used Today? That fella from Motley Crue. So
what the hell else is more important than you? Pathetic life?
Speaker 3 (21:34):
Right now?
Speaker 15 (21:34):
Haul you hanging in on down to jde's twenty four
hour drive through Ponta, Gon Auto Parks, Pharmaceutical, Adult Gift
bat and Tackle discount cigarette out Look. I'm visiting our
new location in Summerville, South Carolina, next to Big Attinga's
Deep Fried Pots and Legs and festered hair Removal. Do
it today, j D's j d's what a Southern Boy Names?
Speaker 5 (21:55):
Good Morning, I got a big show on the radio.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Hey, oh Mad Mike, special call surprise ring from the Maxer.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
I want to tell you about wordy word. We're gonna play.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right after that for a hat, T shirt and Tumblr
plus a twenty five dollars gas card, all from our
buds from Low Tigers. Of those, we're teamed with Low
Tigers for ultimate styling and Sturgis trip of a lifetime.
These guys do this every Year's unbelievable, y'all. Over eighty
five thousand dollars in prizes. You see details and registration.
(22:28):
It's Stylingansturgis dot com. Look for the Low Tigers link
when you hit the Big Show dot com. Hang on
play four to ten minutes right now, Let's get it.
Speaker 5 (22:37):
Good morning, ain't Big Show?
Speaker 6 (22:39):
John mor Mad Max?
Speaker 5 (22:41):
How's it going Byny?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
You think?
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Well, I'm some mad A guy would crawl ten miles
cross broken glass niggad just to hear me poot to
a walkie talkie. Wait, that's how pretty well anyway, y'all,
this is a big moment in the mad Max house.
My youngest boy just lined up his first summer job.
He's working at the Regal Cinema right around the corner
(23:07):
from the house. I'm here to tell you that meets
a dog crab out of what I was doing at
his age, lugging two hundred pound rolls of shag carpet
to a construction site. Now that was the summer I
decided I wasn't cut out for hands on work and
went looking for something more of the heaviest thing you
got a toad is a clipboard and a pencil. In
(23:29):
other words, a crappy summer job forty years ago made
me the top notch construction supervisor I am today, and
I think this working at the movie house deal is
perfect for my boy. It's indoors, no heavy lifting, and
anybody that's been to the movies knows you ain't gotta
(23:49):
try to set no land speed records working the concessions.
So man, I just say, I'm extremely grateful to the
fine folks at Regal Entertainment were giving my son an
opportunity to get some real life work experience. In case
you're wondering being so nice to the Regal people, because
I'm fexing to drive my pick up right straight up
(24:12):
there rear. My boy comes home from his first day
with some flyer they're handing out in the lobby talking
about a new deal they got. It's called the My
Way matinee says here, Regal invites guests of all ages
to enjoy sensory friendly movie screenings with a My Way
(24:34):
Matinee program, a fun, exciting entertainment experience with the lights
brighter and the sound lower. My Way Matinee gives audiences
a chance to sing, dance and shout during the film. Now,
by may, I'd like to pause right here and offer
a brief response my big on fund. The lights are brighter,
(25:00):
the sound is lower, and they want people to sing,
dance and shout during the film. Now, why would I
pay six fifty a seed for someone getting my living
room for free. I'll get him credit for trying something new.
But I think they've picked the wrong name for it.
Instead of My Way Matinee, they should have called it
(25:21):
Mad Max Goes to Hell. And the worst part is
it's a family friendly screening, which means a room full
of six year old kids hopped up on him fifteen
dollars twistlers they fell out in the lobby. Now does
that sound sensory friendly to me? It sounds like the
Rocky Horror Picture Show with Sherlock gnomes Instill the Doctor Franklin.
(25:47):
I'd love to hear the phone call from the head
god Regal gonna get from the president of the M
and MS. I think it gonna go something like this, Hey, Einstein,
I heard about your little matinee brainstorm. Tell me why
do sam? Hell have I been paying you all to
run them ads where the red eminem tells everybody to
shut up and cut your phones off during the movie.
(26:10):
You're out there encouraging everything we've been trying to get
rid of for the last ten years. But if we're
thinking outside the box, how about we make a new
ad where the em and ms tell everybody how to
sneak their own food is and we could have another
one where they show you how to bootleg the movie
on your phone. Hey, maybe Disney could do one where
(26:32):
Woody from Toy Story comes out and tells the kids
how cool smoking cigarettes. Con Do you want to be
in the movie business? Cause you ain't acting like like
I say. I hate to pick on a company that
just gave my boy a job, but the last thing
we need to do is encourage the next generation how
(26:53):
to be even more nerve racking at the movie. Now,
sat down, shut up, and quit running. My three friendly
experis y'all boy, y'all at the movie.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
Y'all, Let's play some wordy word. Y'all won eight hundred
Big Show you told free line. We'll get a couple
of contestants and play next hit the Big Show the
(27:42):
radio Wednesday morning, July second. In that feature track Fen
the make Shore venting Bogs called Jender, He'll spend the
yard the Independence Day movie. I got that back thirty
minutes when he hit the Big Show. Dot com click
got on their contest Monday can't get to We call
you Meganapolis.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
And everybody's head about the bed.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Okay, no birdy word, the wordy word.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
Let's meet the contestants. We got a Robert from Brunswick, Georgia.
Good morning, Roberts Hello, Hello, Hello, come hen we got
we got Genren from Blue Ridge, Georgia.
Speaker 5 (28:22):
Good morning, John Rong, Jen Row, John Rong Will will
very all right.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
Right.
Speaker 5 (28:37):
Man, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Boy is gonna play some wordy word? Damn Tayter and
Genren and John Boy and how are you good man?
Speaker 9 (28:49):
Did hear you?
Speaker 6 (28:50):
All right?
Speaker 1 (28:50):
So Genren, you relax. Me and Robert are gonna go
for the first thirty seconds. See we put some points
on the board.
Speaker 5 (28:58):
Robert you ready, Oh, let's do this. Hey, hey guys.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
By the way, words dealing with motor vehicles. Motor vehicles
is the title of our word tablet. Right now, all right,
all right, John Morne, Robert starting to clock. Now, when
it rains, you turn on your Yes, ah, you mash
(29:22):
this to change a year mashing the what this is?
Speaker 5 (29:29):
Yes? Uh huh. This is where the fumes come out
your blank pipe.
Speaker 8 (29:35):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
You set this and when you're going down the road
to maintain your speeds. Set then uh huh. Change blank
from first to second blank here, Yes, way to go, Robert.
You get on that and we'll put a five on
the board. Oh right, and now it's Tater and John run.
Speaker 6 (29:56):
All right, all right, Tater, come on, let's go.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
A new word and go.
Speaker 5 (30:02):
All right.
Speaker 9 (30:02):
Your headlights you turn on with the high beams.
Speaker 5 (30:05):
It's called the what low.
Speaker 14 (30:07):
No, no, no.
Speaker 9 (30:08):
When you turn your your and then you turn on
your blank lights running lots, parking lot, no, the really
blank ones there lot. Yes, this is what you have
on the back of your car that police check out. Hey, yeah,
but what is what's the thing there?
Speaker 13 (30:26):
You go?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Boy?
Speaker 9 (30:27):
This is you got fifty five blank it's on your
three letters.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Uh sleep doing that and there's a buzzer and y'all
put a two on the board.
Speaker 5 (30:39):
That was some toughies coming in there. But we still
got a game.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
It's five heading into round two. Hi, Robert, let's see
what we can do for our next thirty Are you ready?
Speaker 6 (30:50):
Yes, sir?
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Picking up on that last one. Go how fast you're going?
The three letters? A mouth crowder?
Speaker 6 (30:57):
Yeah? Alright?
Speaker 5 (30:58):
In the letters?
Speaker 3 (30:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (30:59):
Okay, this is where you take other kids to school.
You are running a what you are ahead of the
what like you?
Speaker 6 (31:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (31:12):
Not the front blank, but the blank blank? Look at
the what do you do?
Speaker 6 (31:18):
You got four of these? You're in front? Are you
end up? Boy?
Speaker 1 (31:25):
That's a tough one. Not saying yeah before Taylor can
think about it. Hed on with that seven score five?
Speaker 5 (31:32):
Will tie? Tater and John run ready?
Speaker 6 (31:36):
Go?
Speaker 9 (31:36):
If we were going to make out, we would make out.
Where in the car?
Speaker 3 (31:42):
No car in the car? They are?
Speaker 9 (31:46):
This is another another name for wreck, is called what
I was in?
Speaker 6 (31:50):
A what accident?
Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (31:51):
Another name?
Speaker 7 (31:52):
They blanked the car. The cars did this, They blanked,
They blanked into each other. They yes, yeah, this is you.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Don't go forward, you go in what reverse?
Speaker 9 (32:05):
You uh, this is an extra. One of these is
called the what oh yeah on the board.
Speaker 1 (32:12):
Sorry, Robert wins seven and five second for the game.
Speaker 5 (32:17):
You know Taylor, So y'all would get in the back
seat to make out. How about that.
Speaker 7 (32:22):
I watched a lot of fifties movies and they're making
out in the back seat.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
What well, John, run down Blue Ridge, Buddie. We appreciate
you playing you try again anytime, all.
Speaker 5 (32:35):
Right, my man, Thank you.
Speaker 15 (32:37):
I'm a long long time listener and first time color
so thank you very much.
Speaker 6 (32:40):
I could give a shout out to my buddy Joe and.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
My brother Josh for being a brother.
Speaker 5 (32:45):
Well John run awesome, guys, man, We appreciate y'all time.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
Buddy right, my god, having down a road and Robert,
look at you over in Brunswick getting a big old
Lord Tiger's prize fight.
Speaker 5 (32:55):
Congratulations man you good amy, Thank you brother. Good morning.
I got the Big show on the radio. Baby quest
one goir.
Speaker 1 (33:07):
Mandy Gilly says, bet requests anything by Slash with Tim Wilson.
Speaker 5 (33:14):
Thank you x O x O with Mandy. Thank you
for checking in with us. Baby'll get you something next.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Good morning, Big Shows on the Radio, Mandy Gilly, fan
of the late Greating Tim Wilsons.
Speaker 10 (33:59):
Go Church league softball fist fight getting washed in the
blood on a Tuesday night. What would Jesus do, Lord,
he wouldn't do that? Knock hell out of a preacher
with the softball band. Well, the swinging Shepherds from the
Sheep of the Savior were tied with the sour Wood
(34:21):
Church of Christ, an example of some highly unholy behavior
in a game that had already been protested twice. Something
on biblical must have been said for them to be
aim and heat Adam Minister's Headqualking the clergy ain't the
thing to do, but neither's the high hard one on
a oh in tune church league softball fistfight, A bloody
(34:44):
laying on a hands neat the left field lights, knocking
out four teeth, getting the bus dead left ain't exactly
my idea of Christian fellowship church league softball fistfight rolling
around the you's my own. It just don't look right
for nice people from the church from the Sunday school
class to trade the cup of brotherhood for a can
(35:07):
up that's not going to cost you twenty seven to fifty.
Speaker 5 (35:16):
Amen, Brother good morning big shows on the radio.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
But this visit with Carl Fey words Carl Day when
you hit the big box at the Big Show dot com.
Speaker 11 (35:55):
And now it's story time with your host, Carl Childers.
Speaker 14 (36:02):
I figured since we was right around the fourth of July,
it might be a good time to tell the story
of Independence Day.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I can tell you about it if you owed me too.
Speaker 14 (36:12):
All right, well, sir, what's upon a time the Fresh
Prince was in the Air Force. He was living in
sin with this exotic dancer. Some folks call them strippers.
I call them exotic dancers. You could tell what she'd
done for a living on account of her false bosoms.
(36:33):
While the Fresh Prince was getting jiggy with that dancer Gal.
Speaker 5 (36:38):
Tainter like that.
Speaker 14 (36:41):
A passel of Martians, they decided they had a hanker
and to take over the Earth. Them space ships were
flying all over the world, just hanging in the sky
there waiting to make their move. Then that fella that
played the fly in that Fly movie. He's working over
to the cable company. He had a boss there kindly
talked like me. He kept hollering David. Well, sir, the
(37:09):
fly caught onto their plans about that time. Then Martians
started blowing up stuff. The President couldn't figure out what
to do, but to fly. He had it all figured out.
But the President he's a tag prideful and didn't want
to listen to him. But about the time the White
House blowed up, he come around a bit. So the President,
the Fly, and that fella from Taxi and some other folks.
(37:31):
They all flied off to the desert where it is safe.
The Fresh Prince and that gianz singer that thinks a
good bit of hisself ain't tried fighting them Martians off.
Speaker 11 (37:41):
But the Martians put a hurting on.
Speaker 14 (37:42):
Them, but Good wiped them all out, except for the
Fresh Prince. He managed to wreck one of them Martians
rigs plumb whooped the tar out of him. Then he
smoked a cigar. I didn't understand that part of it, well, sir.
He wrapped up that Martian fella and nold parachute come
in and dragging him across the desert. All of a sudden,
he run up on cousin Eddy from in Vacation Movies.
(38:06):
He was in a bad way with a hard liquor,
driving a motor home with a bunch of other folks,
in tow. They helped the fresh Prince towed him to
that secret place in the desert there where they had
a bunch of them space boogers and big old jars.
David had one of their ship rigs there floating in
space right there in the garage. Seemed like this wasn't
the first time them space bogers had been here. I
(38:27):
guess they're back looking for all their friends. Well, sir,
them scientists fellas at this secret place. They was kindly
curious about what was inside them. Martian. They started cutting
one of them open. Trouble was, he weren't quite dead yet.
He jumped up, started tearing up the place. He even
turned that mister Data from Star Trek into a hand puppy. Well, sir,
(38:50):
they know dem Martian was fixing the take over the world.
They didn't have much time to stop it. The Fly
there they figured out how to get him and him
and that fresh Prince flew up to that float the
space rig up in the big ship there and charge
of everything. They used the Fly's laptop computer and they
knocked that invisible fence down and blowed up the big ship.
(39:10):
Mister Bill Cox said that was pretty neat trick he
can't hardly get on his Facebook. Back on Earth, the
President gave a speech about being Independence Day, got everybody
to yeh hawing. They showed everybody else in the world
low of knocked them space ships out, and they commenced
to getting it done. Cousin Eddie he sobered up long
(39:31):
enough to fly his plane right up into the space
ship's backside. It blowed up real good. All them Martians
was yelling, what'd you kill us Martians fur? What does
kill us Martians fur? Except they were doing in Martian talk.
I didn't understand it, and it makes sense that that's
what they'd be saying. Then to fly and the fresh
prince they come back to Earth smoked another cigar. I
(39:53):
didn't get that part of it. Then, once all the
people in the world high fived each other and celebrated,
they cleaned up and went back to hating each other
like they supposed to do.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
More of the story, It.
Speaker 14 (40:05):
Don't matter if you come from Mars or Hawaiire. When
you start fooling around with American freedoms, we get a
mite hot about it.
Speaker 11 (40:12):
The end story time is brought to you by Hard
Graves potted meat product chock full of all American peckers
and lips since nineteen thirty seven.
Speaker 14 (40:22):
You want to use these sparklers to light DC guard
Little Fellers here or what up?
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Big Boxes?
Speaker 6 (40:28):
Here?
Speaker 11 (40:29):
All your favorites from four decades of The Big Show
ninety nine since each fifteen for nine ninety nine. Buy
them once, play them anywhere. You can shop the Big
Box online right now at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
Order a Big Show Stuff by phone.
Speaker 11 (40:39):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Endemic dot com.
Speaker 5 (40:44):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
Speaker 1 (40:46):
You can hear it all the John Wore Milling lighton
Risers podcast up next a little Wherever you get your podcast,
MAGANESI subscribe to it is with the free I Heard
Radio app.
Speaker 5 (40:56):
We Love You mean It
Speaker 6 (41:00):
Ay,
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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