July 14, 2025 • 45 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, we learn early on that today is National Naked Day - of course, John Boy has a story.. - Ike Turner advises a new Dad on some Nanny hiring strategy.. - Comedian Kevin Meaney shares his naked story.. - Gary Busey tells about spending the summer in Oklahoma with another entry into his diary.. - Rev. Sincere tells about the time he was caught in his birthday suit.. - Carl Childers and the big girl star in the TV reality show, “Naked and Afraid”.. - Gary Busey takes to our Big Show Karaoke stage and sings, “Get Naked”.. - and we’ll wrap up with a promo for the Big Show Drive-In Theater…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Greetings all.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is Big Show Legal Counsel Aloicious, Pete Bagel hold
of the Buford Bagel Hole. Some other shows have accused
John Boy and Billy of creating a morning radio monopoly,
that it's profoundly illegal. All that's hogwa wash is all
perfectly legal, just like the Big Show with John Boy
(00:24):
and Billy.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm an out them big shows on a radio. And yeah,
it is Monday, July the fourteenth, and we are just
tending to be back here everybody. All right, ya missed
our family right here is we were all with our
other families. So you hey, man, perfect time, y'all. I'll
(01:28):
get you ready for outburs here and coming as I
was looking ahead. Actress Demmy Moore appeared on the cover
of Vanity Fair when she was pregnant on this date
in nineteen ninety two. You know you got my picture
on break Fair or Vanity break whatever they renamed it
just so they could have me on the cover of
the magazine. So the same poss Yes, before you have
(01:52):
breakfast this morning, check it out.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
See what you think.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The John Boy and Billy Facebook page celebrate Anybody's curious.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
It turned out to be a boy.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I couldn't put triplets in there. I was smooth. Oh yeah,
hold big old hairy huh.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I didn't look at Harry.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, no, y'all know, here's a check man, Oh dear,
So let's say here, what else. Let's just ease into
our work day. Here, appreciate your men with us.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Were all away.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Big Show's on a radio, Good morning, Big Show's on
a radio. And I didn't get to got them talking
about me posing like Demi Moore about half naked looking
pregnant on the cover of a magazine. So y'all check
that out. We'll get back to it this National Nude Day. Oh,
(02:50):
I wonder if that's what Demy had in mine when
she originally did that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yes, she was nude, no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You were wearing my red silk boxer for sex.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
No one wanted to paint you.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Yeah, that's all right. Then it was totally holloway naked,
all right, and by so National Nude Today, we're gonna
celebrate that in our own way a little bit later, right,
Carl and Melenda starring on naked and a frame.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, we got a lot of viewers.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Hold that all right, Well, let's let's get our first prize.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Pack out and.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Get you ready to win a Law Tigers prize. Pack
the hat, t shirt, tumbler, twenty five dollars gas card,
and your name and a hat for the ultimate Styling
in Sturgis trip of a lifetime with over eighty five
thousand dollars in prices. Make sure you are registered. Get
the tails and registration at Styling Insurgis dot com. Of course,
we got to set up the Law Tigers link at
(03:46):
the Big Show dot com. Three dates in history where
we get our categories? Are they told you we'll Let's start.
In nineteen seventy five, Disney announced plans to build Epcot
Center in Florida. And we were there, right several times,
didn't that cock?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Well you never were.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I was in the area. She was too hot, right,
And then we talked about nineteen ninety two, actress Demi
Moore appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair nothing but
a painted on birthday suit.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
All right?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
And then two a thirty four year old skydiving cameraman
from Addison, Vermont filmed his false teeth falling out of
his mouth at nine thousand feet during his first jump.
I got that he said it was a very expensive
lesson and next time he'd take out his dentures. The
fallen dentures could have landed anywhere within a seventy seven
(04:43):
square mile area. Yeah, back the teeth.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Following through your room, stuck to the tree.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
All right, well there you go.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
There's that three categories one eight hundred Big Show. As
you told free line, we play outbursts next, Good Morning.
(05:22):
It's a big show on the radio show lot of fourteen.
We got our feature track from the Big Show, Big Box,
Big Show, driving theater, family n key words, family and
I did the Big Box.
Speaker 7 (05:34):
That the Big Show not coming out.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Upburst. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boys and
Billy gave.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
The prizes from the Big Prize be let's go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Contested number one. This should be a lot of funs
win your playing up, have a lorry up and gust time.
You have the best time to level big shots. Let's
say hey to John from Chandler Indy out we shot
(06:21):
Good morning John, Hey, good morning John boy.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Talk about John.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Welcome in here, buddy. All right, let's get you through
the categories. Get you at long Tagger's prize bag might
even get you the sturges about eighty five grand richer.
How about that? Hey, John boy, don't tease me. Now
welling for you, John. Here we go in five seconds.
Three Disney parks ready to go, OHHP Car and Magic Kingdom, and.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Or didn't you want them for ever?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
To come out.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
A bunny?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I'm thinking up on you again. Here we need three
famous magazines ready to go, oh, rolling Stones, Mad Magazine
and People Magazine? Right, Mad magazine? What my fame? All right? Good?
Here we go for the wind. Three things that can
fall out of your mouth.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Ready go.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Dent yours, bubble gum and candy your food.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Find out boy.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Talking about good prist back there, registered for the trip
of Sturgis. You gotta going on, buddy, appreciate you listening.
Glad you won. I appreciate you'all boy?
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Alight boot.
Speaker 9 (07:48):
All right?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Were jumping out catching your phone?
Speaker 8 (07:50):
You news.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Don't talk about Naga demi moorm magazine and leave about
half Nagan on it the.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Ta you got it off on him.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
The morning I make shows on the radio. Man, I'm
driving crazy, I'm talking never had so this is fun.
And then the house I kind of post up on
make but there says, I blurted out, kids, how I
get sucked into that? And then well, I'm just going
for I know, man with a wife, you know, got
out and you kids me, excuse me going through old pictures,
(08:55):
you know, Sharon go and ren Is pointed out, you know,
my wonderful things. You know, we're at number one hundred
and forty eight, the Purple Heart homes, Jolie's going. You know,
I still got more of those, and and I haven't
given away pictures, but you pointed out when you put
a picture on, you know, on our website.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
To show what we're giving away. Yeah, everybody gets what. Yeah,
so I said, all right.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
We'll good, well share some of our pictures on our
John Boe Billy Facebook page. And I not gonna appreciate
y'all checking in. Oh this it's pretty neat. Yeah, Tater
takes care of and.
Speaker 9 (09:33):
I would just you know, I when I when I
posted the picture of you posing like Demi, I just
wanted to correct you that that was from ninety one
when she was seven months pregnant.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That's the one I couldn't really do. The painted on
birthday suiting that which was the following year, the one
that back on this date in nineteen ninety two.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Yeah, yeah, it was the painted all he was looking
he was looking ahead and he was like, oh, I
got a picture for this.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
I was like, okay, I'll put her there. I was like,
this will explain, you know, this will this will make
sense tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (10:03):
Well, I've got of pictures of him that I'll have
to share with you. Some of them he doesn't like
very well, you know the one it's right in mind.
I was ain't a corn dogs.
Speaker 9 (10:21):
Praise that picture of Demi Moore of it, you know, pregnant,
and others said it was obscene.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
So I don't know what the critics said about yours.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
We'll tag it out. I was very popular john facebook page.
And my wonderful thing is that the show dot com
(11:05):
good morning, Big Show's on al radio. Here we go.
It's time to axe Heit Yo.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
What's up ahead, Patrick, get them chickaween dunboy, don't care.
Speaker 11 (11:19):
Welcome to axe Eke, the place to go for all
the for one one you need for all y'all.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
What you called a intro personal relation to Pete This him,
dear mister Turner, that giveaway. It is a white boy.
I am at the end of my rope, and you
are the only person that can help me. I've met a.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
Wonderful woman, smart, gorgeous, amazing body and successful. We've been
seeing each other for over two months now. The problem
is the lack of intimacy. She said, if you love me,
you'll wait, and that it will.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Definitely be worth it.
Speaker 11 (12:03):
In the meantime, I do everything for her, run her errands,
take her places, and she loves fine dining.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
But honestly, I'm getting tired of waiting. How do I
tell her?
Speaker 11 (12:12):
Signed Frustrated in Fayetteville, Dear frustrate, good.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
News, bad news, bad news? Is you stupid?
Speaker 11 (12:24):
You have done transformerated into what some sexperts consider a
mythophological creature, much like the yetie or it's North American cousin,
the Saskrotch.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
You done run smack diddler dab into a.
Speaker 11 (12:40):
Nope count little morallity skeezer, and she done turned you
into the legendary hoh nanny.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Let me preach on that that that that that that
the Isaac Hayes Urban.
Speaker 11 (12:53):
Dictionlinary describes whole nanny as and I quote a stupid
sob that runs his domain ragged in hopes of knocking
boots with a good looking skeezer who.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
Is way out of his league. You are exactly the
kind of dude she looking for.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
Fairly normal, good job, not relientated on the food stamps,
and most importantly love hungry. Let me guess you met
her at the grocery store, a fancy one like a
Publix or something, and she asked you about something high end,
(13:30):
like that stuff for.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
Keen weenie, and then she started with a small talking.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
You, being a good dude, you walk her to the
checkout and said she had less stuff than you. You
let her go first, and she conveniently don't have no
money on her and then you jump your stupid gulobal
ass in and pay for her food, and she is
all swoon terrific in giving you the big eyes, and
so you walk her to her car, and in gravilitude
(13:56):
for your gentilosity, she gives you a kiss on the cheek,
and while the blood is rushing back and forth from
one head to the other, she slips you her phone
number and you call her right away, and that's when
she knows the hook is set. Frustrated, you remember them
bug Bunny cartoons where Elma Fudge falls for one of
(14:17):
them tricks, and then he looked at the camera and
his head turned into a big Tuzi plot. That's you,
and don't expect to find out how many licks it
takes to get to the Gouy Center.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
So now you don't know it.
Speaker 11 (14:34):
You is a slave brother picking up her dry cleaning,
taking her yappy little jackass dog into the event.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But it don't stop their phone rings.
Speaker 11 (14:43):
She's in the mood for pad thigh, whatever the hell
that is. She won't go to the weed chied down
buffet on the corner. She wants to upscale stuff like
PF WANs. So you show up, mister dumbass, expectorating the
romantical dinner for two. Then here she comes with all
her loud, fat, stupid talky ass friends.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
Oh and it gets better.
Speaker 11 (15:07):
There will be no splitting of the check this evening, Broseph,
you're gonna be picking up the whole town for Helfer
Paloozer man.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
What some of that?
Speaker 12 (15:15):
Man?
Speaker 11 (15:17):
But I how does you know so much about ole nanny?
Well player, I ain't too pridified to tell you I
was once in your shoe booties. Why is upon a time,
got a minute? Once upon a time, when I was
just catching fire, I spotted this fine full figure fighted lady.
She was a real palm grill lookerike, big afro, coco,
(15:39):
gotta skin, big mismatched boobies.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
She was a new Burian princess. Most bros would only dream.
Speaker 11 (15:46):
I give my whole heart to her, and the more
I gave, the more she took and never ever give back.
Every time I was in the mood, it was like, oh,
I cannot yet we barely know each other. Now go
you get me two racca ribs, some fried chicken, barbecue catfish,
and a dyet coke.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
And what did I get in return? A peak at
some damn side boob. It was all like that for months.
Speaker 11 (16:14):
What finally did it for me is was having to
take her back and forth to the uh uh what
you call im? A ginocologist? She went like every damn
week did she have insurance?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Sort of me?
Speaker 6 (16:29):
And why was she going to the doctor? She kept
getting STPs.
Speaker 11 (16:36):
And one thing for sure, hush, she wasn't getting them
from me. So I take the stand. I tell her
to free robit over. She could take her perfect booty,
that creepy hot chocolate complexionary and them Jackie Lium Hooters
and find someone else to wait on her hand.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
And Fetus says, I was devastorated. It took me.
Speaker 11 (16:58):
Almost five days before I could even think about hooking
up with someone else.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Damn you, Tina, so frustrated.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
There you go.
Speaker 11 (17:12):
I schooled you on the dages of nanny and a hoe.
Go on with your life and just be choosy so
you don't get a dud and wind up with a doozy.
Speaker 6 (17:21):
And if you find another beach.
Speaker 11 (17:23):
Who is hold nanny trolling, put the toe of your
boot in the front door of her colon.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
This is Ike peace out.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
If you want a axig, mail the Axe Big Show
peel box one nine one one Charlotte, n C two
eight two one nine, or email anybody but me at
the Big Show.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
Tata put it together. High five, high five.
Speaker 7 (17:54):
This is sour beat Jones the world for political rattler.
And if you don't want a class, ain't nagging dumping.
You'll keep that dial. Toe to the Big Show with
party about that halfpipe, tell him about it, sweaty.
Speaker 13 (18:05):
If you change the channel, I'm gonna come to your
house and wash my song in your synk.
Speaker 7 (18:09):
You heard her right here on the Big show.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Good morning. It's a big Jenre Radio National Dude Day.
Why what has some fun with it? Ag about half
nigget on the John wonebelly Facebook, vain Demmi Mahr's there.
Look as I take some of this thing out of it,
A little nude day and little tape measure day, Randy
(19:08):
would be kind of hurtful. By the way, anytime we
can have comedian Kevin Meaney for any reason whatsoever, we
jump home out with you. So that's not you know,
we're Irish Catholic, so uh.
Speaker 14 (19:27):
And my sister would go into the bathroom, she'd use
all the towels, so I'd have to run from the
bathroom to the bedroom naked.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
And I get caught every time here naked, being in
the hallway naked. That's not right.
Speaker 8 (19:40):
You get into that bedroom right now and do six
Hail Marries for being nude in the hallway.
Speaker 14 (19:45):
That was the penance I had. I had to do
six Hail Marys because I was nude, like a little
kid doing Hail Mary's because I'm naked.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
So now every time I'm nude I'm doing Hail Mary's
my and I talked to this about.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
You know, to my shrink.
Speaker 14 (20:03):
You know, not a psychiatrist, just a little shriveled up
guy got too, and he's a terrific boy. And uh,
what a good price I get done that. Uh he's
happy that I'm married, you know, yeah, because I'm not
going on the blind dates anymore. So you're going to
(20:25):
you know what they call them blind dates because when
you see the girl, you want to jamb something sharp
into your eyeballs.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio, coming up here.
We are gonna play John BOYD Jeopardy. I got right
here and it's over the swag from World Lawn Mowers,
the best value zero turn mowers on the market. Got
a three year, unlimited hours warning commercial grade Kalisaki Engines
Heavy Dutey fabricated deck starting just twenty nine world long
(20:55):
teph One Grass easy on your wallet. Look for the
link at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Huh all right there, yea.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
We got Robert Arrow for our Monday morning song here
and I want to, uh jack where Robert Earrol's moving
around here? Had the Big Old River Fest down there
in Hersville for July the fourth, and it looks like
tonight he's gonna be in San Louis Obispo.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Where is that that?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Man, that's Mexico, ain't it Because is it St. Louis Obispo?
The Fremont Theater. Well that's English, the Fremont Theater, all right.
And then tomorrow Monterey, California. Okay, he's in California. Then
and then the uh hot monk taver. Let's say when
he's getting back. Okay, August nineteenth, twentieth and twenty first,
(21:43):
he'll be in Alexandria, Virginia. Man, he's got three shows
in a row there, So getting back on the East coast.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
That's easy to get to. That's easier.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
So find out when he will be near you. Robert
Earl Keene dot Com.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
All right, well, let's sing it.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
As done by Robert Earl Keane.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
Is being lying a bit your studio.
Speaker 15 (22:04):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Come on track and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 15 (22:11):
Sometimes on my days are filled with.
Speaker 12 (22:15):
Right as I traveled and left, some bad things ain't
going my.
Speaker 15 (22:25):
Way because there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
You keep swerving in the line.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
And it's causing lots of banger.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 15 (22:44):
I'm shooting you the fling.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 12 (22:52):
Too, when you're swerving all lives pig By, you run
Summon off.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
The ride the day Joe, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 15 (23:10):
Never could love another? How else could I feed? But
nowing you run into me, I can't believe I could
not see.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Her all tank up.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No one's have the waiting.
Speaker 12 (23:33):
To keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of thames.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
I'm a cussing out your name.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
I keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 15 (23:52):
But you're just too dimpty.
Speaker 12 (23:54):
Now when you're swerving all lights, Oh, why you're run
a Simon off the road.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
All right, well, let's play John Boyd Jeopardy. Let's just
jump right in here. More people die playing this sport
than any other.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
What is Russian roulette?
Speaker 11 (24:21):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (24:24):
Sport?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So yeah, okay, what y'all got one?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Eight hundred?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Big show? You told free line, we go to we
get the winter. We played John Boyd Jeopardy next.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
That's a big showing. The radio bagging here rolling to
your July of fourteenth, and we got our future track
from the Big Show bit Box, Big Show Driving Theater,
Family Nights for key Words Family Nights the time. Appreciate
the production value the Hall of Fame Radio show.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
How about that.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Key Words Family Night? And you click out on their
contest button when you're there at the Big Show dot com.
You can't get too We'll call you. Let's play Yeah.
Slive across America is stohn b jem oh wow. And
now your host. After years of getting out of bed early,
he says, when he retires, he's not getting out of
(25:42):
bed till his grandson wins tickets to the chocolate factory.
He gets John Boyd that tag up as I headed
Dreson out of Huntsville, Alabama. Good morning, Dreson, Good morning,
How you doing?
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Hey aw?
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Somebody also welcome in here? All right? You got first
shot at John Boyd Jeopardy this morning. More people die
playing this sport than any other.
Speaker 16 (26:11):
I'm gonna go with hockey.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
You see, hockey kind of a violence sport where fighting
is encouraged. Let's see.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
I don't know, I don't remember remember dragging.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
A body off. I'm glad there's no doubt.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Apreciation lucky fans dragging down the road. Buddy, have a
great day down Huntsville. All right, all right, you can
do it. Add well, let's go to Chris in Rowan Oak, Virginia. Chris,
(26:55):
good morning, Good morning, John boyd Hey, buddy, we know
more people don't play don't die playing hockey than any
other sport. So uh, what would you say, Chris?
Speaker 7 (27:10):
I'm gonna say golf. A lot of people get eaten
by gators.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
People die playing golf. You are, But Chris leading causes
heart attacks and strokes.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
I means.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Hit the ball track.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Larry Throkes.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Oh, hey, with good work, Chris. You're a big short swag.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Is that up to rowing over for you?
Speaker 9 (27:49):
Bo?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Congratulations, Thank you, John Boy. I love the first shout
out to my new baby boy, mister Kolbe. He loves
listening to y'all. Oh man, mister Colby and you big
show baby. All right, Chris, gratulations my boy basing Brighte.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Why the one the hour top of your news on
the other side of our time capsule, that one mark
July of fourteenth.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Up more line, this is the award.
Speaker 17 (28:50):
Winning Jong Boy and Billy big show, the South's number
one export. It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 11 (29:10):
Well well, well, so that old job is getting to
be quite a grind dah, same thing over and over again,
day after day, where you can't help but feel trapped.
So it's not hard to understand why some folks decide
(29:30):
to just say the heck with it, give up that
old nine to five, grab one of the old ladies pattyhose,
and turn to a life of crime.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
And for a lot of people it's a step up.
After all.
Speaker 11 (29:46):
In prison, you spend the majority of your time in
a spacious eight x ten cell. At work, you spend
the majority of your time in a cramped little six
by eight cubicle with no bunk. In prison, they give
you three meals a day, and if that's not enough,
(30:07):
you can steal the new guy's corn bread. At work,
you only get a break for one meal a day,
and you pay for it. And if you steal the
new guy's corn bread, there's consequences and repercussions. Brother, you see,
(30:29):
I rest my case exactly my point, my bespectacled young friend,
that's the right way to see. In prison, good behavior
is rewarded with time off and maybe a conjugal visit.
At work, good behavior is rewarded with more work and
(30:55):
no overtime, so at least you're getting screwed somehow. In prison,
that nice god locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
Sometimes they even tip their hat. At work, you have
to use your security card and open all the doors yourself,
(31:15):
that is if the system is even working, and sometimes
the janitor even.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
Gives you the finger.
Speaker 11 (31:23):
In prison, you only have to share the toilet with
one other person. At work, you have to share a
one seater with everyone, and you always manage to get
in there after the office cheapskate has taken all the
loose toilet paper out to the car. In prison, you
(31:44):
get visits from family and friends. At work, you can't
even speak to your family, but you do get to
visit with that unblinking anorexic psycho with the propeller hat.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
I'm blinking.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I rest my case.
Speaker 11 (32:05):
In prison, all expenses are paid by the taxpayers, including
cable TV, jim fees.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
And healthcare.
Speaker 11 (32:12):
At work, you get to pay all your own expenses,
and only after the man takes half your paycheck to
pay the prisoners tab. That's called irony in prison you
spend your life behind bars waiting to get out. At work,
you spend your life wanting to get out and go
(32:34):
inside bars. In prison, you're surrounded by people with names
like Rico, Bugsy, left Eye Killer, and Razor.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
At work, you're surrounded by people with names like.
Speaker 8 (32:54):
Jaw boyd.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Tata, Spanky, made.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
A Man, Yogi, and Pecca from Graham.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Certain sound like your work.
Speaker 11 (33:09):
J In prison, you have a humorless, sadistic warden, a
real buzzkiller, drunk with authority, a power mad lunatic bent
on making your time there as miserable as possible. At work,
you have Randy.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That sounded familiar. I rest my case, jun.
Speaker 18 (33:38):
Boy and Billy working to make the world just a
little smiter.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Good morning radio, done right?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
M h, Good morning. It's Bigsy on the radio. We
haven't fun National Nude Day. I got a later on
(34:20):
Abucy's song and get Naked, Carle Melendo Naked and Afraid
and even the rev and Goob skinny dip Yeah, Bud.
Speaker 14 (34:34):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
It's time for the Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Dear Diary, this is Gary beucy Well Diary.
Speaker 16 (34:50):
Instead of taking some sort of glamorous Hollywood vacation, some
exotic locale. I decided to get back to my roots
and visits folk out in Oklahoma. Stayed with my uncle
who used to be a state executioner. Old Noosey Bucy
retired a couple of years ago. Bought him a cattle ranch.
(35:12):
Seemed like the right guy to hang with. No pun intended.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Sorry, dope, there ain't no hope. Noocy Busey's coming, and
he's got the rope.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
It's a dangler.
Speaker 16 (35:24):
Oklahoma in the summertime is a straight up endurance test.
He had gotta get up early in the morning and
get them chores done to.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Beat the heat.
Speaker 16 (35:34):
Thankfully, I haven't let my superstar status corrupt my country ways.
I'm up at the crack of dawn drinking coffee and
peeing off the porch. And I do the same thing
in Oklahoma watching my cousin mother Goosey Baucy round up
the geese for feeding. Oh she does a bang up job,
(35:56):
probably because she's kind of built like one of the
big butt, long neck She walls around with that bucket
going hawk. They trailed right along. After a big breakfast
of beef, steak and bourbon, it's off to the milking bard.
I don't know what it is, but cows love me,
(36:17):
whether it's two legs or four. Heifer's got a sweet
spot for that solid gold, busy charm. Time's havn't changed
since I was a kid. Milk's been all been done
by machine these days. But I got a chance to
break out my manual skills. Old number of forty three.
Wasn't given the goods like.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
She used to.
Speaker 16 (36:38):
Uncle Nucy was talking about putting her out to breed,
and I said, unc, give me a shot at her.
So I grabbed that little stool and I sidled up
to her. I closed my eyes and grabbed a hold
of that udder, and I thought back to the days
of doing dinner theater with the.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Likes of Barbara Eden Elkie Summer and Sylvia Miles.
Speaker 6 (37:03):
Yea yea, yea yeah, yea yeah, yea yeah yeah.
Speaker 16 (37:06):
I was sitting there whispering sweet nothing's to her, And
then glorious, magical beaucy hands go to squeezing and a
rubbing and a tugging, and before you know it, she's
giving me buckets left hand, right hand, left hand, right hand.
I think I overdid it a bit because by the end,
she was putting out whipped cream and licking my ear.
(37:27):
Loverboybusy smooth of silk, talking dirty and getting milk lactose intolerant.
Being a veteran of navigating a Hollywood melliu, I'm an
old hand dealing with manure, bull, horse, pig, agent, manager, publicist.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
It all smells the same, brother.
Speaker 16 (37:51):
The only difference, Diary is that critter crap doesn't cost
you fifteen percent of your paycheck. In fact, I'm a
bye God authority on all things fertilizer, great granny, dub
me deucey beaucy. See, all crap is different in texture.
Horse is nice. It's like shoveling tennis balls. Happy little
(38:15):
compact turns. Only downside is that they tend to roll.
You get a good roller, and all of a sudden
you're in a silent movie chasing a lone meadow, muffing
around the barnyard like Harold Lloyd. Cow pies are pretty
much how they sound, like someone dumped a chocolate pie
upside down in the pasture. Most times a hayfork will
(38:38):
get it up in one chunk, but pig dump. Forget
the hay fork. It's like eating soup with chopsticks.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Get the snowshovel.
Speaker 16 (38:50):
This fhy I have fifty pound hog produces three hundred
pounds of stewle a day.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Now I know how Gerald McCraney feels.
Speaker 16 (38:58):
Hello, Burke, Please don't say it's too much work.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
The shed them extra pounds at.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
You put on?
Speaker 6 (39:08):
And what would Gerald say when he sees how much
you weigh?
Speaker 1 (39:14):
He looked down at that scale and he'll be gone, Boy,
howdy diary. There ain't nothing like country cooking.
Speaker 16 (39:27):
Farmed of plates vegetables, make grown mango vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I had me a hankering for some fresh corn.
Speaker 16 (39:34):
On the cob and okra, but unfortunately I over did it,
just a little teeny tiny bent That oprah went right
through me and I didn't quite make it to the outhouse.
The corn was of my undercooked and when I cut loose,
it was like a Dick Tracy machine gun. Knocked the
(39:56):
hat off my hermit granddad, reclusive musy, killed two chickens,
broke ten jars of preserves, and dented the hell out
of the fender on the old John Deere tractor. On
the upside, my colon is cleaner than a kitten's ear
be ile Well, Diary, I got the ski daddle. I'm
(40:19):
taking Katie Segall, Judith Light and Yasmine bleathed up to
knots Berry Farm for country fair days. We're entered in
the milking competition. Old habits are hard to break.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Al kom until next time, Diary, X's and O Gary.
But you see.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
And now the moment you have been waiting for for
some folks consider the single best part of the John
Boy and Billy Big Show, a highly anticipated highlight that's
short of please.
Speaker 7 (41:01):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (41:02):
It's a break from all the stupid right here on
the really big shoe.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
H h.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
That's a big show on the radio. Back to celebrating
national news days quietly as possible. How about this with
a reven Google.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
That's all.
Speaker 10 (41:51):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
That's good morning that John.
Speaker 18 (41:55):
Randy Hey, Jack must be a little cold in the
studio this morning, sir, say hell. I want to send
a shout out to my good friend Reverend Lamont Dinkins
at the Shiloh Christian Center down in Valley, Alabama. He
just turned fifty years old last week. And I've known
this man for over thirty years. In fact, men and
him went the seminary together years ago. I remember one time,
(42:18):
about fifteen years ago, out there, on visiting Lamar. One weekend,
me and him went for a hike out behind the
church building. Come up on this beautiful little pond way
out in the middle of the woods. Now it was
a pretty hot day. We was all sweating. Lamart turned
two men said, you know, we ought to take us
a little dip. Well, so we peeled off a clothes
and piled them up on this big rocket. Went skinner
(42:38):
dipping for a few minutes.
Speaker 6 (42:39):
Well, little while, lady.
Speaker 18 (42:40):
We sitting down beside the pond, letting the sun kind
of dry us off before we got dressed again. All
of a sudden, this group of four or five women
came hiking down the trail. Of course, me and Lamar
grabbed up a clothes and died for the bushes. Now
the women saw, they kind of gig a little bit.
They kept on walking, and after they was gone, I
turned to my buddy, I said, Lamart, let me ask
you a question.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
I notice when we.
Speaker 18 (43:00):
Grabbed up our clothes, I put mine down around my
private parts.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
And you held yours up over your face.
Speaker 6 (43:07):
What's the story on that? And Lama says, well, I
don't know how.
Speaker 18 (43:10):
It is Joe place, but people in my church know
me by my face. Listen, gentlemen, give it off for
your head on a man who's most skinny and dippy.
Speaker 13 (43:20):
Yeah, it's good, I think right about churchy y, I
bought better right at Jack. I got a cut fart
jokes for you today. I'm not gonna talk like I'm
gonna be high brow. I'm just gonna going in here
for some.
Speaker 17 (43:33):
Hum.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She's browsing around.
Speaker 13 (43:36):
Suddenly she spots the most perfect beautiful car walks over
the inspectu. She beds forward to feel that fied leather polstery.
An unexpected little burst of flat she lit's escapes her.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Oh, she said, bear.
Speaker 13 (43:48):
She looks around real quick, see everybody, No, this is
a hoax of salesperson. Don't pop up back right now.
She turns back there steady next towards the salesman, pleasant smile.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
He treats her.
Speaker 13 (43:58):
Good day, bad, I'll have a we help you today.
Let's just try to matain the air of sophistication, act
as though nothing happened. She smiles, says, sir, what is
the price of this lovely vehicle that's still smile and
sells and says, madam, I'm very sorry to say that
if you farted just touching it, you don't want to
know what you gonna do when you.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Hear the problem. Hey, hey, this that's it.
Speaker 6 (44:21):
I tell us the good I want.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
To hear it again.
Speaker 13 (44:23):
There's this old lady. Come into a doctor's office. Confess
to an embarrassing problem. I fared all the time, Doctor Johnson,
but they're soundless and they have no odor. In fact,
since I've been here, I farted no less than twenty times.
Speaker 6 (44:36):
What can I do?
Speaker 5 (44:37):
Help me? Help me?
Speaker 6 (44:38):
She was saved? Well, doctor said, here's prescription, missus turnmore want.
Speaker 13 (44:42):
You to do take these pills three times a day
for seven days, then come back see you in a week.
Did just say next week? Miss Turbore, come back in off.
She's hot. She march into doctor Johnson's off.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Doc.
Speaker 13 (44:53):
I don't know what was in the pills, but the
problems worse. I farted just as much. They're still soundless,
but now they well terrible. What do you have to
say for your self? Com down there, best, turn board,
doc said, soothing, least now that we fixed your sideuses
we're gonna work on.
Speaker 6 (45:09):
Do you he hearing that's a heart from the other
side of your body.
Speaker 18 (45:13):
I see that's a joke with a joke.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Get it, we do.
Speaker 9 (45:18):
We got
Greetings all.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
This is Big Show Legal Counsel Aloicious, Pete Bagel hold
of the Buford Bagel Hole. Some other shows have accused
John Boy and Billy of creating a morning radio monopoly,
that it's profoundly illegal. All that's hogwa wash is all
perfectly legal, just like the Big Show with John Boy
(00:24):
and Billy.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'm an out them big shows on a radio. And yeah,
it is Monday, July the fourteenth, and we are just
tending to be back here everybody. All right, ya missed
our family right here is we were all with our
other families. So you hey, man, perfect time, y'all. I'll
(01:28):
get you ready for outburs here and coming as I
was looking ahead. Actress Demmy Moore appeared on the cover
of Vanity Fair when she was pregnant on this date
in nineteen ninety two. You know you got my picture
on break Fair or Vanity break whatever they renamed it
just so they could have me on the cover of
the magazine. So the same poss Yes, before you have
(01:52):
breakfast this morning, check it out.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
See what you think.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
The John Boy and Billy Facebook page celebrate Anybody's curious.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
It turned out to be a boy.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
I couldn't put triplets in there. I was smooth. Oh yeah,
hold big old hairy huh.
Speaker 5 (02:13):
I didn't look at Harry.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Well, no, y'all know, here's a check man, Oh dear,
So let's say here, what else. Let's just ease into
our work day. Here, appreciate your men with us.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
Were all away.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Big Show's on a radio, Good morning, Big Show's on
a radio. And I didn't get to got them talking
about me posing like Demi Moore about half naked looking
pregnant on the cover of a magazine. So y'all check
that out. We'll get back to it this National Nude Day. Oh,
(02:50):
I wonder if that's what Demy had in mine when
she originally did that.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
Yes, she was nude, no doubt about it.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
You were wearing my red silk boxer for sex.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
No one wanted to paint you.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Yeah, that's all right. Then it was totally holloway naked,
all right, and by so National Nude Today, we're gonna
celebrate that in our own way a little bit later, right,
Carl and Melenda starring on naked and a frame.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Oh, we got a lot of viewers.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Hold that all right, Well, let's let's get our first prize.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Pack out and.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
Get you ready to win a Law Tigers prize. Pack
the hat, t shirt, tumbler, twenty five dollars gas card,
and your name and a hat for the ultimate Styling
in Sturgis trip of a lifetime with over eighty five
thousand dollars in prices. Make sure you are registered. Get
the tails and registration at Styling Insurgis dot com. Of course,
we got to set up the Law Tigers link at
(03:46):
the Big Show dot com. Three dates in history where
we get our categories? Are they told you we'll Let's start.
In nineteen seventy five, Disney announced plans to build Epcot
Center in Florida. And we were there, right several times,
didn't that cock?
Speaker 4 (04:05):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Well you never were.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I was in the area. She was too hot, right,
And then we talked about nineteen ninety two, actress Demi
Moore appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair nothing but
a painted on birthday suit.
Speaker 5 (04:22):
All right?
Speaker 3 (04:22):
And then two a thirty four year old skydiving cameraman
from Addison, Vermont filmed his false teeth falling out of
his mouth at nine thousand feet during his first jump.
I got that he said it was a very expensive
lesson and next time he'd take out his dentures. The
fallen dentures could have landed anywhere within a seventy seven
(04:43):
square mile area. Yeah, back the teeth.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
Following through your room, stuck to the tree.
Speaker 5 (04:50):
All right, well there you go.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
There's that three categories one eight hundred Big Show. As
you told free line, we play outbursts next, Good Morning.
(05:22):
It's a big show on the radio show lot of fourteen.
We got our feature track from the Big Show, Big Box,
Big Show, driving theater, family n key words, family and
I did the Big Box.
Speaker 7 (05:34):
That the Big Show not coming out.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Upburst. Let's play upburst.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
It's the game that anyone can win. John Boys and
Billy gave.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
The prizes from the Big Prize be let's go.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Contested number one. This should be a lot of funs
win your playing up, have a lorry up and gust time.
You have the best time to level big shots. Let's
say hey to John from Chandler Indy out we shot
(06:21):
Good morning John, Hey, good morning John boy.
Speaker 6 (06:24):
Talk about John.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Welcome in here, buddy. All right, let's get you through
the categories. Get you at long Tagger's prize bag might
even get you the sturges about eighty five grand richer.
How about that? Hey, John boy, don't tease me. Now
welling for you, John. Here we go in five seconds.
Three Disney parks ready to go, OHHP Car and Magic Kingdom, and.
Speaker 8 (06:56):
Or didn't you want them for ever?
Speaker 3 (06:58):
To come out.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
A bunny?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I'm thinking up on you again. Here we need three
famous magazines ready to go, oh, rolling Stones, Mad Magazine
and People Magazine? Right, Mad magazine? What my fame? All right? Good?
Here we go for the wind. Three things that can
fall out of your mouth.
Speaker 5 (07:24):
Ready go.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Dent yours, bubble gum and candy your food.
Speaker 5 (07:30):
Find out boy.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Talking about good prist back there, registered for the trip
of Sturgis. You gotta going on, buddy, appreciate you listening.
Glad you won. I appreciate you'all boy?
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Alight boot.
Speaker 9 (07:48):
All right?
Speaker 3 (07:48):
Were jumping out catching your phone?
Speaker 8 (07:50):
You news.
Speaker 3 (07:52):
Don't talk about Naga demi moorm magazine and leave about
half Nagan on it the.
Speaker 5 (07:57):
Ta you got it off on him.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
The morning I make shows on the radio. Man, I'm
driving crazy, I'm talking never had so this is fun.
And then the house I kind of post up on
make but there says, I blurted out, kids, how I
get sucked into that? And then well, I'm just going
for I know, man with a wife, you know, got
out and you kids me, excuse me going through old pictures,
(08:55):
you know, Sharon go and ren Is pointed out, you know,
my wonderful things. You know, we're at number one hundred
and forty eight, the Purple Heart homes, Jolie's going. You know,
I still got more of those, and and I haven't
given away pictures, but you pointed out when you put
a picture on, you know, on our website.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
To show what we're giving away. Yeah, everybody gets what. Yeah,
so I said, all right.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
We'll good, well share some of our pictures on our
John Boe Billy Facebook page. And I not gonna appreciate
y'all checking in. Oh this it's pretty neat. Yeah, Tater
takes care of and.
Speaker 9 (09:33):
I would just you know, I when I when I
posted the picture of you posing like Demi, I just
wanted to correct you that that was from ninety one
when she was seven months pregnant.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
That's the one I couldn't really do. The painted on
birthday suiting that which was the following year, the one
that back on this date in nineteen ninety two.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Yeah, yeah, it was the painted all he was looking
he was looking ahead and he was like, oh, I
got a picture for this.
Speaker 6 (09:58):
I was like, okay, I'll put her there. I was like,
this will explain, you know, this will this will make
sense tomorrow.
Speaker 10 (10:03):
Well, I've got of pictures of him that I'll have
to share with you. Some of them he doesn't like
very well, you know the one it's right in mind.
I was ain't a corn dogs.
Speaker 9 (10:21):
Praise that picture of Demi Moore of it, you know, pregnant,
and others said it was obscene.
Speaker 6 (10:26):
So I don't know what the critics said about yours.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
We'll tag it out. I was very popular john facebook page.
And my wonderful thing is that the show dot com
(11:05):
good morning, Big Show's on al radio. Here we go.
It's time to axe Heit Yo.
Speaker 6 (11:14):
What's up ahead, Patrick, get them chickaween dunboy, don't care.
Speaker 11 (11:19):
Welcome to axe Eke, the place to go for all
the for one one you need for all y'all.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
What you called a intro personal relation to Pete This him,
dear mister Turner, that giveaway. It is a white boy.
I am at the end of my rope, and you
are the only person that can help me. I've met a.
Speaker 11 (11:42):
Wonderful woman, smart, gorgeous, amazing body and successful. We've been
seeing each other for over two months now. The problem
is the lack of intimacy. She said, if you love me,
you'll wait, and that it will.
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Definitely be worth it.
Speaker 11 (12:03):
In the meantime, I do everything for her, run her errands,
take her places, and she loves fine dining.
Speaker 6 (12:09):
But honestly, I'm getting tired of waiting. How do I
tell her?
Speaker 11 (12:12):
Signed Frustrated in Fayetteville, Dear frustrate, good.
Speaker 6 (12:18):
News, bad news, bad news? Is you stupid?
Speaker 11 (12:24):
You have done transformerated into what some sexperts consider a
mythophological creature, much like the yetie or it's North American cousin,
the Saskrotch.
Speaker 6 (12:37):
You done run smack diddler dab into a.
Speaker 11 (12:40):
Nope count little morallity skeezer, and she done turned you
into the legendary hoh nanny.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
Let me preach on that that that that that that
the Isaac Hayes Urban.
Speaker 11 (12:53):
Dictionlinary describes whole nanny as and I quote a stupid
sob that runs his domain ragged in hopes of knocking
boots with a good looking skeezer who.
Speaker 6 (13:03):
Is way out of his league. You are exactly the
kind of dude she looking for.
Speaker 11 (13:09):
Fairly normal, good job, not relientated on the food stamps,
and most importantly love hungry. Let me guess you met
her at the grocery store, a fancy one like a
Publix or something, and she asked you about something high end,
(13:30):
like that stuff for.
Speaker 6 (13:31):
Keen weenie, and then she started with a small talking.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
You, being a good dude, you walk her to the
checkout and said she had less stuff than you. You
let her go first, and she conveniently don't have no
money on her and then you jump your stupid gulobal
ass in and pay for her food, and she is
all swoon terrific in giving you the big eyes, and
so you walk her to her car, and in gravilitude
(13:56):
for your gentilosity, she gives you a kiss on the cheek,
and while the blood is rushing back and forth from
one head to the other, she slips you her phone
number and you call her right away, and that's when
she knows the hook is set. Frustrated, you remember them
bug Bunny cartoons where Elma Fudge falls for one of
(14:17):
them tricks, and then he looked at the camera and
his head turned into a big Tuzi plot. That's you,
and don't expect to find out how many licks it
takes to get to the Gouy Center.
Speaker 6 (14:32):
So now you don't know it.
Speaker 11 (14:34):
You is a slave brother picking up her dry cleaning,
taking her yappy little jackass dog into the event.
Speaker 6 (14:41):
But it don't stop their phone rings.
Speaker 11 (14:43):
She's in the mood for pad thigh, whatever the hell
that is. She won't go to the weed chied down
buffet on the corner. She wants to upscale stuff like
PF WANs. So you show up, mister dumbass, expectorating the
romantical dinner for two. Then here she comes with all
her loud, fat, stupid talky ass friends.
Speaker 6 (15:06):
Oh and it gets better.
Speaker 11 (15:07):
There will be no splitting of the check this evening, Broseph,
you're gonna be picking up the whole town for Helfer
Paloozer man.
Speaker 3 (15:14):
What some of that?
Speaker 12 (15:15):
Man?
Speaker 11 (15:17):
But I how does you know so much about ole nanny?
Well player, I ain't too pridified to tell you I
was once in your shoe booties. Why is upon a time,
got a minute? Once upon a time, when I was
just catching fire, I spotted this fine full figure fighted lady.
She was a real palm grill lookerike, big afro, coco,
(15:39):
gotta skin, big mismatched boobies.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
She was a new Burian princess. Most bros would only dream.
Speaker 11 (15:46):
I give my whole heart to her, and the more
I gave, the more she took and never ever give back.
Every time I was in the mood, it was like, oh,
I cannot yet we barely know each other. Now go
you get me two racca ribs, some fried chicken, barbecue catfish,
and a dyet coke.
Speaker 6 (16:07):
And what did I get in return? A peak at
some damn side boob. It was all like that for months.
Speaker 11 (16:14):
What finally did it for me is was having to
take her back and forth to the uh uh what
you call im? A ginocologist? She went like every damn
week did she have insurance?
Speaker 3 (16:26):
Sort of me?
Speaker 6 (16:29):
And why was she going to the doctor? She kept
getting STPs.
Speaker 11 (16:36):
And one thing for sure, hush, she wasn't getting them
from me. So I take the stand. I tell her
to free robit over. She could take her perfect booty,
that creepy hot chocolate complexionary and them Jackie Lium Hooters
and find someone else to wait on her hand.
Speaker 6 (16:54):
And Fetus says, I was devastorated. It took me.
Speaker 11 (16:58):
Almost five days before I could even think about hooking
up with someone else.
Speaker 6 (17:02):
Damn you, Tina, so frustrated.
Speaker 5 (17:11):
There you go.
Speaker 11 (17:12):
I schooled you on the dages of nanny and a hoe.
Go on with your life and just be choosy so
you don't get a dud and wind up with a doozy.
Speaker 6 (17:21):
And if you find another beach.
Speaker 11 (17:23):
Who is hold nanny trolling, put the toe of your
boot in the front door of her colon.
Speaker 6 (17:31):
This is Ike peace out.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
If you want a axig, mail the Axe Big Show
peel box one nine one one Charlotte, n C two
eight two one nine, or email anybody but me at
the Big Show.
Speaker 6 (17:46):
Tata put it together. High five, high five.
Speaker 7 (17:54):
This is sour beat Jones the world for political rattler.
And if you don't want a class, ain't nagging dumping.
You'll keep that dial. Toe to the Big Show with
party about that halfpipe, tell him about it, sweaty.
Speaker 13 (18:05):
If you change the channel, I'm gonna come to your
house and wash my song in your synk.
Speaker 7 (18:09):
You heard her right here on the Big show.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Good morning. It's a big Jenre Radio National Dude Day.
Why what has some fun with it? Ag about half
nigget on the John wonebelly Facebook, vain Demmi Mahr's there.
Look as I take some of this thing out of it,
A little nude day and little tape measure day, Randy
(19:08):
would be kind of hurtful. By the way, anytime we
can have comedian Kevin Meaney for any reason whatsoever, we
jump home out with you. So that's not you know,
we're Irish Catholic, so uh.
Speaker 14 (19:27):
And my sister would go into the bathroom, she'd use
all the towels, so I'd have to run from the
bathroom to the bedroom naked.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
And I get caught every time here naked, being in
the hallway naked. That's not right.
Speaker 8 (19:40):
You get into that bedroom right now and do six
Hail Marries for being nude in the hallway.
Speaker 14 (19:45):
That was the penance I had. I had to do
six Hail Marys because I was nude, like a little
kid doing Hail Mary's because I'm naked.
Speaker 6 (19:56):
So now every time I'm nude I'm doing Hail Mary's
my and I talked to this about.
Speaker 3 (20:02):
You know, to my shrink.
Speaker 14 (20:03):
You know, not a psychiatrist, just a little shriveled up
guy got too, and he's a terrific boy. And uh,
what a good price I get done that. Uh he's
happy that I'm married, you know, yeah, because I'm not
going on the blind dates anymore. So you're going to
(20:25):
you know what they call them blind dates because when
you see the girl, you want to jamb something sharp
into your eyeballs.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
Good morning, Big shows on the radio, coming up here.
We are gonna play John BOYD Jeopardy. I got right
here and it's over the swag from World Lawn Mowers,
the best value zero turn mowers on the market. Got
a three year, unlimited hours warning commercial grade Kalisaki Engines
Heavy Dutey fabricated deck starting just twenty nine world long
(20:55):
teph One Grass easy on your wallet. Look for the
link at the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 5 (21:00):
Huh all right there, yea.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
We got Robert Arrow for our Monday morning song here
and I want to, uh jack where Robert Earrol's moving
around here? Had the Big Old River Fest down there
in Hersville for July the fourth, and it looks like
tonight he's gonna be in San Louis Obispo.
Speaker 4 (21:19):
Where is that that?
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Man, that's Mexico, ain't it Because is it St. Louis Obispo?
The Fremont Theater. Well that's English, the Fremont Theater, all right.
And then tomorrow Monterey, California. Okay, he's in California. Then
and then the uh hot monk taver. Let's say when
he's getting back. Okay, August nineteenth, twentieth and twenty first,
(21:43):
he'll be in Alexandria, Virginia. Man, he's got three shows
in a row there, So getting back on the East coast.
Speaker 6 (21:49):
That's easy to get to. That's easier.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
So find out when he will be near you. Robert
Earl Keene dot Com.
Speaker 5 (21:57):
All right, well, let's sing it.
Speaker 6 (22:00):
As done by Robert Earl Keane.
Speaker 5 (22:02):
Is being lying a bit your studio.
Speaker 15 (22:04):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 6 (22:09):
Come on track and get ready to say anybody.
Speaker 15 (22:11):
Sometimes on my days are filled with.
Speaker 12 (22:15):
Right as I traveled and left, some bad things ain't
going my.
Speaker 15 (22:25):
Way because there's always someone swirming in my life.
Speaker 3 (22:33):
You keep swerving in the line.
Speaker 6 (22:37):
And it's causing lots of banger.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 15 (22:44):
I'm shooting you the fling.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
Keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 12 (22:52):
Too, when you're swerving all lives pig By, you run
Summon off.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
The ride the day Joe, Why I thought I never.
Speaker 15 (23:10):
Never could love another? How else could I feed? But
nowing you run into me, I can't believe I could
not see.
Speaker 5 (23:26):
Her all tank up.
Speaker 3 (23:29):
No one's have the waiting.
Speaker 12 (23:33):
To keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of thames.
Speaker 6 (23:41):
I'm a cussing out your name.
Speaker 3 (23:45):
I'm shooting you the fine.
Speaker 6 (23:48):
I keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 15 (23:52):
But you're just too dimpty.
Speaker 12 (23:54):
Now when you're swerving all lights, Oh, why you're run
a Simon off the road.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
All right, well, let's play John Boyd Jeopardy. Let's just
jump right in here. More people die playing this sport
than any other.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
What is Russian roulette?
Speaker 11 (24:21):
Ah?
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Wow?
Speaker 6 (24:24):
Sport?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
So yeah, okay, what y'all got one?
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Eight hundred?
Speaker 3 (24:28):
Big show? You told free line, we go to we
get the winter. We played John Boyd Jeopardy next.
Speaker 5 (24:56):
Good Monday morning.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
That's a big showing. The radio bagging here rolling to
your July of fourteenth, and we got our future track
from the Big Show bit Box, Big Show Driving Theater,
Family Nights for key Words Family Nights the time. Appreciate
the production value the Hall of Fame Radio show.
Speaker 6 (25:18):
How about that.
Speaker 3 (25:21):
Key Words Family Night? And you click out on their
contest button when you're there at the Big Show dot com.
You can't get too We'll call you. Let's play Yeah.
Slive across America is stohn b jem oh wow. And
now your host. After years of getting out of bed early,
he says, when he retires, he's not getting out of
(25:42):
bed till his grandson wins tickets to the chocolate factory.
He gets John Boyd that tag up as I headed
Dreson out of Huntsville, Alabama. Good morning, Dreson, Good morning,
How you doing?
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Hey aw?
Speaker 3 (25:58):
Somebody also welcome in here? All right? You got first
shot at John Boyd Jeopardy this morning. More people die
playing this sport than any other.
Speaker 16 (26:11):
I'm gonna go with hockey.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
You see, hockey kind of a violence sport where fighting
is encouraged. Let's see.
Speaker 4 (26:25):
I don't know, I don't remember remember dragging.
Speaker 6 (26:27):
A body off. I'm glad there's no doubt.
Speaker 3 (26:35):
Apreciation lucky fans dragging down the road. Buddy, have a
great day down Huntsville. All right, all right, you can
do it. Add well, let's go to Chris in Rowan Oak, Virginia. Chris,
(26:55):
good morning, Good morning, John boyd Hey, buddy, we know
more people don't play don't die playing hockey than any
other sport. So uh, what would you say, Chris?
Speaker 7 (27:10):
I'm gonna say golf. A lot of people get eaten
by gators.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
People die playing golf. You are, But Chris leading causes
heart attacks and strokes.
Speaker 6 (27:30):
I means.
Speaker 3 (27:35):
Hit the ball track.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Larry Throkes.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
Oh, hey, with good work, Chris. You're a big short swag.
Speaker 4 (27:47):
Is that up to rowing over for you?
Speaker 9 (27:49):
Bo?
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Congratulations, Thank you, John Boy. I love the first shout
out to my new baby boy, mister Kolbe. He loves
listening to y'all. Oh man, mister Colby and you big
show baby. All right, Chris, gratulations my boy basing Brighte.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Thank y'all.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
Why the one the hour top of your news on
the other side of our time capsule, that one mark
July of fourteenth.
Speaker 5 (28:18):
Up more line, this is the award.
Speaker 17 (28:50):
Winning Jong Boy and Billy big show, the South's number
one export. It's time for Oliver.
Speaker 11 (29:10):
Well well, well, so that old job is getting to
be quite a grind dah, same thing over and over again,
day after day, where you can't help but feel trapped.
So it's not hard to understand why some folks decide
(29:30):
to just say the heck with it, give up that
old nine to five, grab one of the old ladies pattyhose,
and turn to a life of crime.
Speaker 6 (29:41):
And for a lot of people it's a step up.
After all.
Speaker 11 (29:46):
In prison, you spend the majority of your time in
a spacious eight x ten cell. At work, you spend
the majority of your time in a cramped little six
by eight cubicle with no bunk. In prison, they give
you three meals a day, and if that's not enough,
(30:07):
you can steal the new guy's corn bread. At work,
you only get a break for one meal a day,
and you pay for it. And if you steal the
new guy's corn bread, there's consequences and repercussions. Brother, you see,
(30:29):
I rest my case exactly my point, my bespectacled young friend,
that's the right way to see. In prison, good behavior
is rewarded with time off and maybe a conjugal visit.
At work, good behavior is rewarded with more work and
(30:55):
no overtime, so at least you're getting screwed somehow. In prison,
that nice god locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
Sometimes they even tip their hat. At work, you have
to use your security card and open all the doors yourself,
(31:15):
that is if the system is even working, and sometimes
the janitor even.
Speaker 6 (31:19):
Gives you the finger.
Speaker 11 (31:23):
In prison, you only have to share the toilet with
one other person. At work, you have to share a
one seater with everyone, and you always manage to get
in there after the office cheapskate has taken all the
loose toilet paper out to the car. In prison, you
(31:44):
get visits from family and friends. At work, you can't
even speak to your family, but you do get to
visit with that unblinking anorexic psycho with the propeller hat.
Speaker 6 (31:57):
I'm blinking.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
I rest my case.
Speaker 11 (32:05):
In prison, all expenses are paid by the taxpayers, including
cable TV, jim fees.
Speaker 3 (32:10):
And healthcare.
Speaker 11 (32:12):
At work, you get to pay all your own expenses,
and only after the man takes half your paycheck to
pay the prisoners tab. That's called irony in prison you
spend your life behind bars waiting to get out. At work,
you spend your life wanting to get out and go
(32:34):
inside bars. In prison, you're surrounded by people with names
like Rico, Bugsy, left Eye Killer, and Razor.
Speaker 6 (32:51):
At work, you're surrounded by people with names like.
Speaker 8 (32:54):
Jaw boyd.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Tata, Spanky, made.
Speaker 6 (33:00):
A Man, Yogi, and Pecca from Graham.
Speaker 4 (33:07):
Certain sound like your work.
Speaker 11 (33:09):
J In prison, you have a humorless, sadistic warden, a
real buzzkiller, drunk with authority, a power mad lunatic bent
on making your time there as miserable as possible. At work,
you have Randy.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
That sounded familiar. I rest my case, jun.
Speaker 18 (33:38):
Boy and Billy working to make the world just a
little smiter.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Good morning radio, done right?
Speaker 3 (34:00):
M h, Good morning. It's Bigsy on the radio. We
haven't fun National Nude Day. I got a later on
(34:20):
Abucy's song and get Naked, Carle Melendo Naked and Afraid
and even the rev and Goob skinny dip Yeah, Bud.
Speaker 14 (34:34):
Right now.
Speaker 3 (34:36):
It's time for the Diary of Gary Busey.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
Dear Diary, this is Gary beucy Well Diary.
Speaker 16 (34:50):
Instead of taking some sort of glamorous Hollywood vacation, some
exotic locale. I decided to get back to my roots
and visits folk out in Oklahoma. Stayed with my uncle
who used to be a state executioner. Old Noosey Bucy
retired a couple of years ago. Bought him a cattle ranch.
(35:12):
Seemed like the right guy to hang with. No pun intended.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
Sorry, dope, there ain't no hope. Noocy Busey's coming, and
he's got the rope.
Speaker 4 (35:20):
It's a dangler.
Speaker 16 (35:24):
Oklahoma in the summertime is a straight up endurance test.
He had gotta get up early in the morning and
get them chores done to.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Beat the heat.
Speaker 16 (35:34):
Thankfully, I haven't let my superstar status corrupt my country ways.
I'm up at the crack of dawn drinking coffee and
peeing off the porch. And I do the same thing
in Oklahoma watching my cousin mother Goosey Baucy round up
the geese for feeding. Oh she does a bang up job,
(35:56):
probably because she's kind of built like one of the
big butt, long neck She walls around with that bucket
going hawk. They trailed right along. After a big breakfast
of beef, steak and bourbon, it's off to the milking bard.
I don't know what it is, but cows love me,
(36:17):
whether it's two legs or four. Heifer's got a sweet
spot for that solid gold, busy charm. Time's havn't changed
since I was a kid. Milk's been all been done
by machine these days. But I got a chance to
break out my manual skills. Old number of forty three.
Wasn't given the goods like.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
She used to.
Speaker 16 (36:38):
Uncle Nucy was talking about putting her out to breed,
and I said, unc, give me a shot at her.
So I grabbed that little stool and I sidled up
to her. I closed my eyes and grabbed a hold
of that udder, and I thought back to the days
of doing dinner theater with the.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Likes of Barbara Eden Elkie Summer and Sylvia Miles.
Speaker 6 (37:03):
Yea yea, yea yeah, yea yeah, yea yeah yeah.
Speaker 16 (37:06):
I was sitting there whispering sweet nothing's to her, And
then glorious, magical beaucy hands go to squeezing and a
rubbing and a tugging, and before you know it, she's
giving me buckets left hand, right hand, left hand, right hand.
I think I overdid it a bit because by the end,
she was putting out whipped cream and licking my ear.
(37:27):
Loverboybusy smooth of silk, talking dirty and getting milk lactose intolerant.
Being a veteran of navigating a Hollywood melliu, I'm an
old hand dealing with manure, bull, horse, pig, agent, manager, publicist.
Speaker 1 (37:48):
It all smells the same, brother.
Speaker 16 (37:51):
The only difference, Diary is that critter crap doesn't cost
you fifteen percent of your paycheck. In fact, I'm a
bye God authority on all things fertilizer, great granny, dub
me deucey beaucy. See, all crap is different in texture.
Horse is nice. It's like shoveling tennis balls. Happy little
(38:15):
compact turns. Only downside is that they tend to roll.
You get a good roller, and all of a sudden
you're in a silent movie chasing a lone meadow, muffing
around the barnyard like Harold Lloyd. Cow pies are pretty
much how they sound, like someone dumped a chocolate pie
upside down in the pasture. Most times a hayfork will
(38:38):
get it up in one chunk, but pig dump. Forget
the hay fork. It's like eating soup with chopsticks.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Get the snowshovel.
Speaker 16 (38:50):
This fhy I have fifty pound hog produces three hundred
pounds of stewle a day.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Now I know how Gerald McCraney feels.
Speaker 16 (38:58):
Hello, Burke, Please don't say it's too much work.
Speaker 3 (39:04):
The shed them extra pounds at.
Speaker 5 (39:06):
You put on?
Speaker 6 (39:08):
And what would Gerald say when he sees how much
you weigh?
Speaker 1 (39:14):
He looked down at that scale and he'll be gone, Boy,
howdy diary. There ain't nothing like country cooking.
Speaker 16 (39:27):
Farmed of plates vegetables, make grown mango vegetarian.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
I had me a hankering for some fresh corn.
Speaker 16 (39:34):
On the cob and okra, but unfortunately I over did it,
just a little teeny tiny bent That oprah went right
through me and I didn't quite make it to the outhouse.
The corn was of my undercooked and when I cut loose,
it was like a Dick Tracy machine gun. Knocked the
(39:56):
hat off my hermit granddad, reclusive musy, killed two chickens,
broke ten jars of preserves, and dented the hell out
of the fender on the old John Deere tractor. On
the upside, my colon is cleaner than a kitten's ear
be ile Well, Diary, I got the ski daddle. I'm
(40:19):
taking Katie Segall, Judith Light and Yasmine bleathed up to
knots Berry Farm for country fair days. We're entered in
the milking competition. Old habits are hard to break.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Al kom until next time, Diary, X's and O Gary.
But you see.
Speaker 8 (40:49):
And now the moment you have been waiting for for
some folks consider the single best part of the John
Boy and Billy Big Show, a highly anticipated highlight that's
short of please.
Speaker 7 (41:01):
That's right.
Speaker 6 (41:02):
It's a break from all the stupid right here on
the really big shoe.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
H h.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (41:40):
That's a big show on the radio. Back to celebrating
national news days quietly as possible. How about this with
a reven Google.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
That's all.
Speaker 10 (41:51):
That's all.
Speaker 3 (41:52):
That's good morning that John.
Speaker 18 (41:55):
Randy Hey, Jack must be a little cold in the
studio this morning, sir, say hell. I want to send
a shout out to my good friend Reverend Lamont Dinkins
at the Shiloh Christian Center down in Valley, Alabama. He
just turned fifty years old last week. And I've known
this man for over thirty years. In fact, men and
him went the seminary together years ago. I remember one time,
(42:18):
about fifteen years ago, out there, on visiting Lamar. One weekend,
me and him went for a hike out behind the
church building. Come up on this beautiful little pond way
out in the middle of the woods. Now it was
a pretty hot day. We was all sweating. Lamart turned
two men said, you know, we ought to take us
a little dip. Well, so we peeled off a clothes
and piled them up on this big rocket. Went skinner
(42:38):
dipping for a few minutes.
Speaker 6 (42:39):
Well, little while, lady.
Speaker 18 (42:40):
We sitting down beside the pond, letting the sun kind
of dry us off before we got dressed again. All
of a sudden, this group of four or five women
came hiking down the trail. Of course, me and Lamar
grabbed up a clothes and died for the bushes. Now
the women saw, they kind of gig a little bit.
They kept on walking, and after they was gone, I
turned to my buddy, I said, Lamart, let me ask
you a question.
Speaker 6 (42:59):
I notice when we.
Speaker 18 (43:00):
Grabbed up our clothes, I put mine down around my
private parts.
Speaker 3 (43:04):
And you held yours up over your face.
Speaker 6 (43:07):
What's the story on that? And Lama says, well, I
don't know how.
Speaker 18 (43:10):
It is Joe place, but people in my church know
me by my face. Listen, gentlemen, give it off for
your head on a man who's most skinny and dippy.
Speaker 13 (43:20):
Yeah, it's good, I think right about churchy y, I
bought better right at Jack. I got a cut fart
jokes for you today. I'm not gonna talk like I'm
gonna be high brow. I'm just gonna going in here
for some.
Speaker 17 (43:33):
Hum.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
A lady walks into a Lexus dealership. She's browsing around.
Speaker 13 (43:36):
Suddenly she spots the most perfect beautiful car walks over
the inspectu. She beds forward to feel that fied leather polstery.
An unexpected little burst of flat she lit's escapes her.
Speaker 3 (43:47):
Oh, she said, bear.
Speaker 13 (43:48):
She looks around real quick, see everybody, No, this is
a hoax of salesperson. Don't pop up back right now.
She turns back there steady next towards the salesman, pleasant smile.
Speaker 6 (43:57):
He treats her.
Speaker 13 (43:58):
Good day, bad, I'll have a we help you today.
Let's just try to matain the air of sophistication, act
as though nothing happened. She smiles, says, sir, what is
the price of this lovely vehicle that's still smile and
sells and says, madam, I'm very sorry to say that
if you farted just touching it, you don't want to
know what you gonna do when you.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Hear the problem. Hey, hey, this that's it.
Speaker 6 (44:21):
I tell us the good I want.
Speaker 4 (44:22):
To hear it again.
Speaker 13 (44:23):
There's this old lady. Come into a doctor's office. Confess
to an embarrassing problem. I fared all the time, Doctor Johnson,
but they're soundless and they have no odor. In fact,
since I've been here, I farted no less than twenty times.
Speaker 6 (44:36):
What can I do?
Speaker 5 (44:37):
Help me? Help me?
Speaker 6 (44:38):
She was saved? Well, doctor said, here's prescription, missus turnmore want.
Speaker 13 (44:42):
You to do take these pills three times a day
for seven days, then come back see you in a week.
Did just say next week? Miss Turbore, come back in off.
She's hot. She march into doctor Johnson's off.
Speaker 5 (44:53):
Doc.
Speaker 13 (44:53):
I don't know what was in the pills, but the
problems worse. I farted just as much. They're still soundless,
but now they well terrible. What do you have to
say for your self? Com down there, best, turn board,
doc said, soothing, least now that we fixed your sideuses
we're gonna work on.
Speaker 6 (45:09):
Do you he hearing that's a heart from the other
side of your body.
Speaker 18 (45:13):
I see that's a joke with a joke.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Get it, we do.
Speaker 9 (45:18):
We got
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Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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