July 28, 2025 • 40 mins
Monday (pt 2 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, in honor of the 23rd Annual Capt. Eddy Haneman Sailfish Tournament, that took place over the weekend, we’re replaying episodes of our own high-seas adventure - a Big Show Mini Movie, “Morons of the Mid Atlantic”.. - Jeff Pillars is in with another Top 10 List - this time he’s listing the 10 other things that he hates about getting old.. - There’s a new car company vying for your attention - and your wallet - it’s Gooberu.. - and we’ll wrap up with a visit from Lipless for his jokes about Summertime…
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Greetings film fans, and welcome to the Big Show Morning
Movie Mini Siries Special. When we last left our heroes,
their seafood dinner had just been interrupted by the main
course's mother, a gigantic mutant crab. Join us now for
the continuing heart stopping adventure of Captain John Boy and
first mate Spanky in part three of.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The Forms of the Moon Lunt. Spanky kids about to
cut me in half? Are you gonna help me or not?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
What does it look like I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It looks like you're climbing a tree.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'm gonna swing over there on one of these vines
and land on her back.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Here go.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Made it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Now, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I'm gonna give her a taste of this the fish
back hershell can't possibly be any harder than your skull.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know how you feel, honey. He's been doing that
to me for two days. I'm gonna crack.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Her open like a New England dinner. Then we're really
gonna eat big boys. Oh if we only had some
melted butter.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Let her have it spanking, but be careful. She's pretty
quick when I was claw. I'm not too.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Worried about it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm telling you I'm right now. What are we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, if she pitches me any tighter for that giant claw,
I'll be able to bend over backward and kiss my
own button. Goodbye. What in the world, Maybe those wax
have finally got into her.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Whatever it is, she's dropping us.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Get off me, a big sack of sausage.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Like, well, then you have to lay right under me.
She's going down, bro Shoe, that was close. Spanky, Spanky,
where are you?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm down here?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Oh no, this is terrible.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
In a final fit of rage, the giant crab ate
poor Spanky and now he's down there. Well, that's what
you get for being so mean to me, A stoepeg stupid.
I thought the afterlife was supposed to make you mellow.
That's why you went to Haydes. Some folks call it purgatory.
I called it hades.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Get shot, app I'm not dead, I'm underneath the crab.
Get me out of here, please, please?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
What's wrong with you? I told you she's going down.
Why didn't you get out of the way.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I was trying to get out of the way, but
you knocked me down and trampled me. Screaming like a
little girl ducks, What are you ducking for?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I was expecting to get bean with that fishbata.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I lost it under the crab somewhere, but I did
find this.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Wow, where'd you find an arrow.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Stuck in the crab shell? She covered with him? That's
what brought her down?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Well? Well, what? Well?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'm just waiting for you to figure out a way
to take.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Credit for this.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
They're probably just artifacts from some ancient civilization that were
buried in the sand, and once you started staring up
the beach with all them left.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Hold it. You don't think somebody might actually shot those arrows?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Spanky?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
When you've been sailling the seas for as long as
I have, you've realized that these islands have been uninhabited
for thousands and thousands of years.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
You see, I suppose that's just some ancient CD and
a primitive boom fuck.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I hate to say it, but I'm starting to miss
that fish bass.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What are you talking about? Wow?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Poking me without arrow?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
I'm not poking you?
Speaker 5 (03:54):
Then?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Who is?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
They are?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Holy moesha in a grass skirt. It looks like it's
out of the crab pot and onto the shit.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Kebab. What to do?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
What?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
To do to find out. Tune in Next Time for
part four of The Big Show Morning Movie mini series
special starring John Boy as John Boy, Spanky is Spanky,
and Rue Paul has twinkled the Chief's gay nephew in.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Morons album Long Turner. One more episode of About the Hour.
We'll wrap our morning mini movie. All right, we're right now,
let's unwrap our blonde and play Beat the Blonde one
eight hundred Big Show. You don't look at it like it,
(04:44):
You don't relyveld. Okay, now you can't look at it
like it. We'll play next Good Monday Morning. It's a
(05:15):
Big Show on the radio. Our feature track from The
Big Show Big Box. Lipless says he's got some funny
jokes about summertime. He says he's got jokes, but he
said funny jokes. It's all right, Episite go Limpless. He
words summertime. It's a bit box at the Big Show
(05:36):
dot com click out on their contest. But you be
can't get too Jackie, call you. It's such a teacher,
little boys on the phone. It's a bonus, is what
it is. Well, that's mean I can test her right now.
We got Robert out of Seneca, South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Good morning, Robert, you're morning every.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Hey Boddy, welcome, Hi, Rob. You know what we're gonna do? Well,
ask Tata some questions.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You agree or.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Disagree, whether you think she's right wrong? Getting two bells
for two buzzers?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You got? There'll be a god rise package. I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
I've got a back, Taylor, Baby. We know somebody is
taking them off the plane. We do, yes, we do.
You know how how cause every year airlines in the
US buy more than twenty million of them?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
What are they? You plane flying? World traveling girl?
Speaker 5 (06:45):
You well, they are so versatile. I wanted to take
them myself. There's the airsick bags, the airsick bag, vomit bags, baby.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Vomit bags. You know the words that you can get
more gross, the puke bags. Want me keep Robert, do
you agree or disagree? I'm gonna have to agree with that.
All right, Well that was the thing to do. Sure enough.
Fair sickness bags. What he'm doing with them?
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Here's a lot of stuff in there.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The lunch, I mean it's all sandwiches.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Yeah, you take all your snacks that you get on
the well, you haven't puked in it.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yet you know you use it when you when you
steal the shampoo from the hotel.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
You could it's it's it's you know it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Buttons up nice, Okay, you carry around with you, nobody
will looking at it.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
No, no, just don't hold my bag of vomit.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Like the I was.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
I need a your en samble, Samon samble and the
stool samble. I said, I'll just leave your mom to wear.
I'll see you next week. But all right, I might
not never get to use that one again. So oh,
I'm sure you'll get it in, Robert, back to you.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Sorry there, buddy, So one bell right there.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Okay, Tater, your doctor says you have a peril vital echamoses,
py para, let me try it again, okay, parry orbital echemoses?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
What is it more commonly known as well, you're already
there at the doctor.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
I think you already know you got yourself a lazy eye.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
A lazy eye. What do you say about the pair
of vital emoses there, Robert, I'm gonna have to disagree
with that. Wow, and it sounded I'm going to win.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
But she was close. A black eye? Ah, a black eye?
Is that?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
How is that close.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Eye because an eye okay at the orbital part.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Right, Well, good work, Robert.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
You got the big old low Tiger's prize pack name
and a hat for the ultimate styling and Sturgis trip
of a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Looks like you got it going on this morning, buddy.
Well great, thank y'all. Can I give a shout out?
You go ahead.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I want to shout out to.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
My brother, a teen gentry in Augusta.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
He's a program director at KICKS ninety nine radio station.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
How about that, I ask him? If he does request,
I want to hear the bird girl raps. I've ever rap.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Here you go, all right, Robert.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Said, you buddy, hang on.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Jumping out, catching you up on your news. And on
the other side, remember and ray with a ray hew,
(10:21):
you'd only got a big shoulder radio go down the
rape studio where Robert d observes. When we point fingers
at what is to be blamed for our children's behavior,
maybe we should look in the mirror.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Seems to me.
Speaker 7 (10:35):
In order to change our children's behavior, then our behavior
must change.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
First.
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Mother says that after noting how parents are the primary
influencers of our children's behavior, she's concerned about how children's
eating habits are a reflection of their parents eating habits,
how much parents ben watching television and wonder why their
children watch so much television. Another mother, Judith Warner, deplores bling,
(11:03):
bling barbies and potty lipped brats, thongs for tweens, and
make up parties for five year olds, and increasingly tarted
up world of young girls and preteens. The sexualization of
girls hot tots, they are called. So how can we
expect our daughters to navigate the cultural rapids of becoming
(11:23):
sexual beings when we ourselves are setting the examples at
communities where plastic surgery is the norm, and augmented moms
who strut their stuff in spaghetti straps and spandakes, always
absorbed with self improvement books and TV shows, and the like,
girls who are often embarrassed by the way their mothers
(11:43):
try to act like teenagers. A group of twelve year
olds said their mothers are coming to school, picking them up,
or coming to school events thinking that they are eighteen
year olds and it's embarrassing to them. Out of the
mouths of babes comes wisdom. Robert E. Rayford, passion along
on the John Boy and billy show.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Good morning, that's a big shoulder radio man.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Here we go. It's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Fibberty, fabilty food. I'm old and I hate super heroes.
In my day, we didn't have no Kate flapping tight
wearing secret identity, hiding bad guy big slapping faster than
a speeding bullet, running tall building, leaping goodie two shoes.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
We had superheroes with powers.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
No one else has today, like staying married until you
died or it killed your man, or Captain Paysy's damn
bills on time. Look hump in the sky. It's a bird,
it's a plane. I hate these new glasses superheroes. We
(13:23):
love superheroes. Ah, what a load of monkey spit. In
my day, we didn't need no comic books to find
strange and unusual people who stood for something bigger than themselves.
We lived or in a part of history that produced
the real inspirations for them, funny paper phonies, a time
(13:45):
when humanodities out numbered the normal people, and we did
it the old fashioned Southern way in breeding.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
We were cousin humping maniacs, spitting out a steady stream
of off beat offspring to truth Justice had the Hillbilly Waite.
Probably the most famous was the town librarian, Little Scottie
yuh Bro, or as we called him, power Possum. He
was pure albino and whiter than patsayjack. He wore dark
(14:18):
glasses over his creepy pink eyeballs, and instead of a
belly button, he had a big fleshy pouch where he
kept his eye drops and beef jerk. He wore loose
fitting drawers to hide a big thick tail that hung
out over his butt crack. That night, he'd come out
and prowl the neighborhoods looking for peeping toms, and when
(14:39):
he found some pervert oogle and some defenseless women folk,
he'd pounce on him with all his possum powers. He'd
wrap his tail around their neck, scamper up a tree, and.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
After he lynched him with his human butt.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Rope, he didn't want any evidence, so he'd eat him.
Whooptie WHIPTI wobbled d I'm a pink eyed cannibal stringing
up the local dirt bags with my trusty rupnos, gobbling
up in it and learning the Dewey decimal system.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
We loved it.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
But just because we didn't have no superhero didn't mean
we didn't have a super villain. And he weren't no
man Bey Pamby Mama's Boy like that Red Skull or
that head wax.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And hoy Pelloi Lex Luthor. We had a real badass.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
His name was Franklin Delano dark Anihilator. He was the
smartest guy in town, but he used his knowledge for
evil on a count. He had a little teeny wiki.
He was taking it out of the world. He had
a giant head like a hollyween punkin, and if you'd
sneak up and scare him, it.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Did wobble around like one of them bobbled. He had dogs, but.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
You had to be careful because when you weren't looking,
he'd swing that enormous.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Nagging at you like a rabid tether ball.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
He had a cave under old Folly knuckle Humper's root seller.
He'd help himself to all that country ham and rudy
beggars and pickled turnips, and he'd let go with some
of the most foul, eye burning ash grenades known to man.
Sometimes he'd ride through town on his horse drawn dark
annihilator mobile cutting the cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And head just going every witch away.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He was the county tax collector, so you couldn't screw
with him, because he'd take your land and put you
in a street to live with the gypsies. And he
am weights salesman. So we did the next best thing.
We gave his great Dane those extra strength laxatives and
took his wife to the hayloft for a little of
the old hibbit egibbety on the side that kept him
busy cleaning up poop and wondering why none of his
(16:43):
kids had giant heads like he did, wing a dingle
whippity do look at me, I'm a stupid pumpkin dodgeon
poop puddles and doing the table tangle with old hamster
Willie's wife, filling the town with illegitimate children and bitch
slapping the gypsies. That smells like victory with a sigh
to order a dog crack.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
And we liked it.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
We loved it. Flibberty flue. I hate superheroes. Good morning,
the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
Hang out all right, listen to you, mog It's time
to button your yapp say I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boy and Belly on the Big Show. Yeah,
the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big. It's enormous. Hey,
he's adorable.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Friends
in Texas. It's gonna make sure y'all know about the
New Bronfels city.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Where well, that's like this is for me. Thank you
very much. How you found that.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Work where it was talking about Robert ur Keine doing
an applause for the cause concert I lost some alongside
very special guest. August twenty eighth and Whitewater Amphitheater in
New Bronfles, Texas. It's thirty two miles northeast of downtown
San Antonio and then forty eight miles southwest of Austin.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So right there, that's a that's a good area there.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
So in the proceed support the Community Foundation of the
Texas Hill Country. And we got the Robert Earrol's website.
You can click over when you go to our website
and then that'll take you as well to the Community
Foundation of the Texas Hill Country.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
That's right, you'll be able to see that when you
can scam the through it and same thing on the
facebook page. You can do it as well. Okay, look
through his Facebook page.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Very similar to when you know concert for the Carolina's
happened in Charlotte for the Western North Carolina, right, you know,
kind of held it in the city close to you know,
away from so people could do their work and restore
where the damage happened. So just like that, that's why.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
They're going to define make a long time.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Yes, yeah, if you can help, if you can, they
helped us.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
All right, Yo.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Well that concert is going to be August twenty eighth.
You find out all about it. Click on Robert Earl's
link at the Big Show dot com. Hang on wrapping
up our Big show morning. Many move in here in
a second. Let me tell you about what you can
win if you can win on wordy word. We got
an assortment of swag from World Lawn Moors. It's the
best value zero turned moors on the market. Got a
(19:52):
three year unlimited hours warning it commercial grade Kawasagi Engines
heavy duty fabricated decks starting. It's just thirty two nine
to nine world long, tough on grass, easy on you wallet.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Just look for the link at the Big Show dot Com.
Hang on play for it in minutes.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Rise and shine, movie Buffs, It's time for the John
Boy and Billy Big Show Morning Movie miniseriries special. When
we last left our intrepid adventurers, they had barely survived
the colossal case of the Killer Crabs, only to be
captured by a mysterious tribe of ancient island dwellers.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Will the madness never end?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Join us now for the adventures of Captain John Boy
and first mate Spanky in the fourth and final chapter
of oder.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I recognize the tune, but I cannot understand the lyrics.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Don't you think that sounds familiar?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And you shut up for two seconds? I can't think.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Geez, what a crowd.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Let's scoot over. It's tjing big enough for the two
of us.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Wouldn't seem so snug if you, big head, wouldn't taken
up all the room.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I can hardly breathe.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, I got a feeling we won't have to worry
about that much longer. Say what, check out that big
pot of boiling water. Unless I miss my guests, I
think these birds got them a taste for some red.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Ennick Skew oh brother, have you seen too many movies?
Or what?
Speaker 3 (21:09):
What is that supposed to mean?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You are something else?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Boy, you see a bunch of half naked natives dancing
around the fire, A big pot of water on the ball.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Human skeleton's everywhere right away, You're all gloom and doom.
Oh boo hoo. The natives are going eat over the
love it.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
I just hope they don't make us do it coconut
deal where we have to put them up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Our bull You stop saying that.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Didn't you ever hear that playhouse? If we can't do it,
they cut our heads off.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
But it looks like we're about to find out one
way or the other. Here comes to chief. Now let
me do the talking.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Save your breath. These guys don't speak English. Listen, Mogo
told you bull go boll go woo go. I wonder
what he said.
Speaker 9 (21:57):
I said, enough with the drums already, guy's the band
take a smoke.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Wrop you bat in a thousand genius.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
Everybody else repare the intrudos for that coconut deal?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
What they have to put them up the pot?
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Hold on your cheefee, let's talk about this.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
One of the boys overheard you talking psych Hey he
fell for.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Oh my head, what a relief. You're a real joker there, chief, Yeah,
good one.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Nah, how about cutting us loutes, double us, figure out
a way out of here.
Speaker 9 (22:32):
Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, no, cand you boys are
staying for dinner.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Sweet What do we having? Looks like white meat to me?
Speaker 3 (22:44):
What you're still gonna heat us.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
That's how we were bonding, having a laugh.
Speaker 10 (22:49):
What cannibals can't have a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
We didn't say that, We just thought.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Okay, two cannibals sitting around the fire. One cannibal says,
I really hate my sister. The other one says, step
the noodles. My son got sent home from school for
buttering up the teacher. Buttering up forget it, you know,
having to dessert chocolate covered.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
Ants and uncles and uncles.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I'll be here all week. Don't forget to eat you waiter.
He's good. You gotta gig a mad shut up.
Speaker 9 (23:26):
It's too bad. You guys aren't gonna be a run
for the midnight show, all.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Right, get him in the pot. Start with the talking one.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
At last, a little justice, so that.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Hey, turn me loose. I'm too young to no. Now
that water's hot?
Speaker 9 (23:41):
Now, o.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
O oh was it something I said?
Speaker 10 (23:51):
Did you say ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh whah.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yeah, I'll say it all the time, but that water
was on?
Speaker 10 (24:01):
Are you the one they call John boy?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
I'm alive?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
On a fart about it?
Speaker 9 (24:09):
What do you say there, you big old harry, but
picking no sailing pervert.
Speaker 10 (24:14):
We listen to you all the time on the radio.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
You guys have radio, of.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
Course, there's one on every boat left here by our
dinner guests. And judging by the size of your skull,
you must be billy. We love you, guys. Look what
happened to your voice?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
It's allergies?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
What are you allergic to?
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Big pots of boiling water?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
No, no, no, no, you are in no danger.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You mean you're not gonna hit us.
Speaker 9 (24:42):
We can always find other tourists, but how can we
ever replace the big show? Apart from the screams of
our victims begging for mercy, you are our only entertainment.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Talk about a rough room.
Speaker 10 (24:55):
You are free to.
Speaker 9 (24:56):
Go on one condition, Amy chief. We could sure use
a case or two of that grillin sauce. Make some
of our company a little easier to swallow. Get it
easier to swallow.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Buddy, You got it, cheat, But first we gotta get home.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Well, take any of these bots you once, How about
a nice yard? Take the eighty footer over there.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Well it's not my.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Donzie, but I guess it's okay. Do you have anything
a little bigger?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
You? Shut up and get on the boat.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Thanks a lot, cheap love yoke?
Speaker 11 (25:26):
Mean it the hello too, Jackie and the dander.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Oh man, that was close.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's like I told you, it's good to be John Boy. Hey,
look a built in ships compass.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh and look what else?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Now? A fishpat?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Do you have anything bigger? You idiot? I hope you've
learned a lesson than all this.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I sure have.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
It's better to have a nod on my head than
a coconut in my butt.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Just drive the boat, and as our intrepid cruise sails
for home, we waved goodbye to the fourth and final
chapter of this John Boy and Billy Big Show Morning
Movie Miniseries. Super special event until next time. This is
your morning movie host Burt Fern, saying, so long, cinemaniacs.
Speaker 6 (26:16):
Alright, EESes on boy, hikee, Well let's play wordy word
one ain't on it makes show you told free long,
get a couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Good morning.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Let's big show on the radio on Monday morning, July twenty.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
This kid a whole week ago wordy word.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
And everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, man, let's do not contestants. We got Rich from
Myrtle beat South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Go morning, Rich, Good morning, sir, Hey.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Moddy, Hey, we got Carl from bat Tavia.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I go Indiana, Idaho? Where is that state? Jackie? You
don't know, he's just random runners. Hey, Carl, you and Iowa. Carl,
my name Steve. I can barely hear you. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I tell you right.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
Receptions really bad.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
We's got a really bad connection.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Okay, all.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right, well hang on, let's see if we can solve
that right quick, bro, bro, all right, Carl, you got
us now, buddy, Yes, sir, alright, the isle was staticky.
It wasn't your fault, jockey, right, boys, So Tater and Carl,
John Boy and Rich, let's do two rounds to see
(28:19):
if we can get us a winter wordy word for
one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull snunt.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
All right, Carl, you relax, Rich, are you old women?
Oh no, okay? Three letter words?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yeah, we got all mad because they were hard last time. Okay,
I got a little mad. We're going with three letter words.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Guys. All right, Rich are you ready? Yes, sir, okay,
start to clock. Now.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
College kids drink beer out of one of these A
big old mud.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
No, another word, that's.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Big you tap it tap a yes, uh huh okay,
this like Mother's against drunk driving and like it was
a magazine man, Yes, uh huh. This is what you
paddle a boat with. And yes uh the high card
(29:16):
in the deck is the eight.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yes, not the mom but the dad.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Money, good word.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
Now there's a five with some good old three letter words.
I told y'all it would be good.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
I.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Go.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Let's see what you dator can do for your round one.
There was a five on the board for Rich. Okay,
brand new word and go.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
You do this to a hole past tense with a shovel.
You blank a hole? You and you you did it already. Okay,
now the first part of this, all right, will go
to the blank out when it's not their turn to
be on the field.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
The blank out. Yes, all right, this.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Means your heavy set. You've got a lot of this
on you. You are wait three letters, yes, you use
this again in your house.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Oh, there's a bozzer right there. All right, so a
two on the board for Carl. It's five to two.
All right, Rich, here's where we pile on for the wind.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Are you ready? Yes, sir, and go.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
You use this to unlock your door? Yeah, this is
what you have. Test tube scientists, man, scientists in the
what test tubes, and they do experiments in the what
the three letter words? Yes, uh huh, Peter blank, you never.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Grow up, pam? Yeah, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
A blank doll, hey, little blank doll, little.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Blank black doll. Yeah, that is the ch I'll pick
up the what.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Yeah, after nine, I'm sorry, put.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
A five on that.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Five A ten score, Carl, Let's see.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
What you and Taylor can do. Eight will tie it
up and.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Go the number after nine? Yes, the dog's tail will
what a dog's tail?
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You do this to your card? Make it shine?
Speaker 5 (31:39):
No?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Three letters?
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Yes, first blank, it's you know, it's health first blank?
Cool blank, it's a drink cool sorry cool blank, gator blank?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Sorry, twins fire my finger, twits to I and uh
that word was aid, by the way, for y'all playing
at home.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
The first aid well Carl out of Bactamia Otah, I
mean I oh what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Illinois? Wherever you are you can drive you buddy. We
appreciate you playing with us. Love you, Larry, Carl.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Rich, you hang on your bull's not gleaning products.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Headed down to myrtle bats.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
Could I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Of course you can.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I like to give a shout out to President Trump.
And I'd like to give a shout out to all
the first responders who went to Texas.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
God bless them well, Thank you Rich. Shout out buddy,
budd God bless the big show. Thank you mate.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
When you hang right there, Rich, i'all can hook you up.
Good morning, got the bag sh on the radio. Bit
requests from Ungo Andy Shaw. Guys, I want to hear
that old commercial goobaro. Thanks longtime listener, had a new
born North Carolina. We've got it and we're all going
back a waff of gooboo.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
What do it next?
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Good morning, It's a big showing the radio and something
you'd like to hear about this time Monday through Friday.
Hit us up on the John over on the Facebook
page longtime listener and know who you are at the
New North Carolina he goes Son.
Speaker 11 (33:55):
Googleoo has been building cars the same way since nineteen
fifty four, plane boxing, almost totally devoid of personality. In fact,
it might just be the same car they were building then.
In nineteen eighty, the ugliest car in Japan became the
ugliest car in America. For the past thirty years, no
(34:17):
car maker is thought more about cup holder placement and
less about kerb appeal than Gubaroo. But ugly is what
we do. From the original tu door Gubaru travesty to
the simulated luxury of the plastica sedan to the rugged
all will drive hunchback SUV, Goobaru's awkwardly butchered styling has
(34:39):
made it the number one choice of public defenders, LPGA
golfers and crazy cat ladies across the USA, and the
word is getting around. Road and Track says your average
Gubaroo is shaped like a sackful of door knocks.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Autoweek says the.
Speaker 11 (34:56):
Only thing worse than looking at it is driving it.
Car talk dot Com calls Goobaru Kathy Griffin with wheels
and now the front wheel drive Goobaru Hunchback has just
been named one of car and drivers ten Gayis Cars Echo,
why should your car be prettier than you? Goobaro as
(35:16):
plain and unadorned as the woman who drives one official
vehicles of Oprah and Gaels No boys allowed. Road trip
across America coming this fall. Get zero points zero percent
financing for seventy two months plus season tickets for the
WNBA team of your choice during the Goobaru Little Fare
of Value Sales event. Visit gooburu dot com or see
(35:37):
you're desperately struggling dealer for details.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Feeds
your dragging the bed box liplers glad to have this.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Visit Berliplace keywords summer time when you at the big
show dot com?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
All right, man turning loose. Morning there, y'all w horning,
all you inch o hey, hold you and yacke. I
hear your wavor it. I need dragging out you hang on.
You don't love me, you won't worry. I wanter. I
think you got well out.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Hard time here again somebody had season out all I
want it?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Hell we are tin hot?
Speaker 11 (36:45):
Does get hot in the summer.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah, you know what you don't touch while talking and
areeze kind of cools. We're all right, I'm wrong? A
what load? O my havard yoking about summer time? But
Joe already right? The falls begin the balls? Oh, let
the goo falls be? Where does she sing? There's somewhere vacation?
Speaker 11 (37:12):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Why not like that?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Somewhere cool?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Cold?
Speaker 12 (37:22):
I can't take a sweater. All can't take their sweater?
Where do sharks go on vacation? Where do sharks finland?
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Nowhere? I had hard works anywhere and won't anywhere.
Speaker 11 (37:42):
What do you get when you called her elephant with
a What do you get when you cross an elephant
with a fish? Swimming trunks?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
I had? I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb?
Speaker 11 (37:57):
Oh there you go?
Speaker 2 (38:00):
All right, Okay, we're over.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Who's irish and he's outside all summer long?
Speaker 11 (38:11):
Who's irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
I had old skin cancer, legie skin cancer?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Me?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
What's thet saying to do if you lose your y'all
at the hunt factory.
Speaker 11 (38:33):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun Tan Lusion Factory, reapply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I had take a good hard look at you, like,
because you probably could do that life coach, right right?
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Hirate movie?
Speaker 11 (38:56):
Couldn't the little kid get in to see the new Pirate?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
It was rated? I have no idea. That's it you have?
I had? It shows who was woody?
Speaker 11 (39:10):
It shows too much booty?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Why does it woing never take cake?
Speaker 11 (39:18):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
He waited.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Why I had caught the day because he's.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
I got the.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
What's the only time you go while it's red and
it's top when it hurts green?
Speaker 11 (39:45):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green? When you're eating a watermelon?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Summer time?
Speaker 5 (39:54):
For?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I had? When you drunk?
Speaker 4 (39:57):
When you're drunk, well, I say, where's trap?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Next time?
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Is the old whatdy listeners saying this is your what?
He list listen, y'all hallo ishous hub.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Bitch and suver.
Speaker 11 (40:11):
Big Boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 11 (40:17):
You can shop the Big Box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 11 (40:22):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it now. All the John Boy Billy
Late Risers.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Podcast up next. Wherever you get your podcast making easy,
subscribe to us with a free I Heard Radio out
I love you mean it
Greetings film fans, and welcome to the Big Show Morning
Movie Mini Siries Special. When we last left our heroes,
their seafood dinner had just been interrupted by the main
course's mother, a gigantic mutant crab. Join us now for
the continuing heart stopping adventure of Captain John Boy and
first mate Spanky in part three of.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
The Forms of the Moon Lunt. Spanky kids about to
cut me in half? Are you gonna help me or not?
Speaker 3 (00:29):
What does it look like I'm doing?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
It looks like you're climbing a tree.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
I'm gonna swing over there on one of these vines
and land on her back.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Here go.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Made it?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Now, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
I'm gonna give her a taste of this the fish
back hershell can't possibly be any harder than your skull.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
I know how you feel, honey. He's been doing that
to me for two days. I'm gonna crack.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Her open like a New England dinner. Then we're really
gonna eat big boys. Oh if we only had some
melted butter.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Let her have it spanking, but be careful. She's pretty
quick when I was claw. I'm not too.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Worried about it.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
I'm telling you I'm right now. What are we gonna do?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Well, if she pitches me any tighter for that giant claw,
I'll be able to bend over backward and kiss my
own button. Goodbye. What in the world, Maybe those wax
have finally got into her.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Whatever it is, she's dropping us.
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Get off me, a big sack of sausage.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Like, well, then you have to lay right under me.
She's going down, bro Shoe, that was close. Spanky, Spanky,
where are you?
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I'm down here?
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Oh no, this is terrible.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
In a final fit of rage, the giant crab ate
poor Spanky and now he's down there. Well, that's what
you get for being so mean to me, A stoepeg stupid.
I thought the afterlife was supposed to make you mellow.
That's why you went to Haydes. Some folks call it purgatory.
I called it hades.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Get shot, app I'm not dead, I'm underneath the crab.
Get me out of here, please, please?
Speaker 2 (02:44):
What's wrong with you? I told you she's going down.
Why didn't you get out of the way.
Speaker 3 (02:48):
I was trying to get out of the way, but
you knocked me down and trampled me. Screaming like a
little girl ducks, What are you ducking for?
Speaker 4 (02:54):
I was expecting to get bean with that fishbata.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
I lost it under the crab somewhere, but I did
find this.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Wow, where'd you find an arrow.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
Stuck in the crab shell? She covered with him? That's
what brought her down?
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Well? Well, what? Well?
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'm just waiting for you to figure out a way
to take.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Credit for this.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
They're probably just artifacts from some ancient civilization that were
buried in the sand, and once you started staring up
the beach with all them left.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Hold it. You don't think somebody might actually shot those arrows?
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Spanky?
Speaker 4 (03:28):
When you've been sailling the seas for as long as
I have, you've realized that these islands have been uninhabited
for thousands and thousands of years.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
You see, I suppose that's just some ancient CD and
a primitive boom fuck.
Speaker 4 (03:45):
I hate to say it, but I'm starting to miss
that fish bass.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
What are you talking about? Wow?
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Poking me without arrow?
Speaker 3 (03:52):
I'm not poking you?
Speaker 5 (03:54):
Then?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Who is?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
They are?
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Holy moesha in a grass skirt. It looks like it's
out of the crab pot and onto the shit.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Kebab. What to do?
Speaker 5 (04:10):
What?
Speaker 1 (04:11):
To do to find out. Tune in Next Time for
part four of The Big Show Morning Movie mini series
special starring John Boy as John Boy, Spanky is Spanky,
and Rue Paul has twinkled the Chief's gay nephew in.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Morons album Long Turner. One more episode of About the Hour.
We'll wrap our morning mini movie. All right, we're right now,
let's unwrap our blonde and play Beat the Blonde one
eight hundred Big Show. You don't look at it like it,
(04:44):
You don't relyveld. Okay, now you can't look at it
like it. We'll play next Good Monday Morning. It's a
(05:15):
Big Show on the radio. Our feature track from The
Big Show Big Box. Lipless says he's got some funny
jokes about summertime. He says he's got jokes, but he
said funny jokes. It's all right, Episite go Limpless. He
words summertime. It's a bit box at the Big Show
(05:36):
dot com click out on their contest. But you be
can't get too Jackie, call you. It's such a teacher,
little boys on the phone. It's a bonus, is what
it is. Well, that's mean I can test her right now.
We got Robert out of Seneca, South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Good morning, Robert, you're morning every.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Hey Boddy, welcome, Hi, Rob. You know what we're gonna do? Well,
ask Tata some questions.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
You agree or.
Speaker 4 (06:07):
Disagree, whether you think she's right wrong? Getting two bells
for two buzzers?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
You got? There'll be a god rise package. I don't
know what it is.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
I've got a back, Taylor, Baby. We know somebody is
taking them off the plane. We do, yes, we do.
You know how how cause every year airlines in the
US buy more than twenty million of them?
Speaker 2 (06:39):
What are they? You plane flying? World traveling girl?
Speaker 5 (06:45):
You well, they are so versatile. I wanted to take
them myself. There's the airsick bags, the airsick bag, vomit bags, baby.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Vomit bags. You know the words that you can get
more gross, the puke bags. Want me keep Robert, do
you agree or disagree? I'm gonna have to agree with that.
All right, Well that was the thing to do. Sure enough.
Fair sickness bags. What he'm doing with them?
Speaker 5 (07:16):
Here's a lot of stuff in there.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
The lunch, I mean it's all sandwiches.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
Yeah, you take all your snacks that you get on
the well, you haven't puked in it.
Speaker 4 (07:23):
Yet you know you use it when you when you
steal the shampoo from the hotel.
Speaker 5 (07:28):
You could it's it's it's you know it.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Buttons up nice, Okay, you carry around with you, nobody
will looking at it.
Speaker 5 (07:34):
No, no, just don't hold my bag of vomit.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Like the I was.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
I need a your en samble, Samon samble and the
stool samble. I said, I'll just leave your mom to wear.
I'll see you next week. But all right, I might
not never get to use that one again. So oh,
I'm sure you'll get it in, Robert, back to you.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Sorry there, buddy, So one bell right there.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
Okay, Tater, your doctor says you have a peril vital echamoses,
py para, let me try it again, okay, parry orbital echemoses?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
What is it more commonly known as well, you're already
there at the doctor.
Speaker 5 (08:21):
I think you already know you got yourself a lazy eye.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
A lazy eye. What do you say about the pair
of vital emoses there, Robert, I'm gonna have to disagree
with that. Wow, and it sounded I'm going to win.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
But she was close. A black eye? Ah, a black eye?
Is that?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
How is that close.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Eye because an eye okay at the orbital part.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Right, Well, good work, Robert.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
You got the big old low Tiger's prize pack name
and a hat for the ultimate styling and Sturgis trip
of a lifetime.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Looks like you got it going on this morning, buddy.
Well great, thank y'all. Can I give a shout out?
You go ahead.
Speaker 4 (09:15):
I want to shout out to.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
My brother, a teen gentry in Augusta.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
He's a program director at KICKS ninety nine radio station.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
How about that, I ask him? If he does request,
I want to hear the bird girl raps. I've ever rap.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Here you go, all right, Robert.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Said, you buddy, hang on.
Speaker 4 (09:42):
Jumping out, catching you up on your news. And on
the other side, remember and ray with a ray hew,
(10:21):
you'd only got a big shoulder radio go down the
rape studio where Robert d observes. When we point fingers
at what is to be blamed for our children's behavior,
maybe we should look in the mirror.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Seems to me.
Speaker 7 (10:35):
In order to change our children's behavior, then our behavior
must change.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
First.
Speaker 7 (10:42):
Mother says that after noting how parents are the primary
influencers of our children's behavior, she's concerned about how children's
eating habits are a reflection of their parents eating habits,
how much parents ben watching television and wonder why their
children watch so much television. Another mother, Judith Warner, deplores bling,
(11:03):
bling barbies and potty lipped brats, thongs for tweens, and
make up parties for five year olds, and increasingly tarted
up world of young girls and preteens. The sexualization of
girls hot tots, they are called. So how can we
expect our daughters to navigate the cultural rapids of becoming
(11:23):
sexual beings when we ourselves are setting the examples at
communities where plastic surgery is the norm, and augmented moms
who strut their stuff in spaghetti straps and spandakes, always
absorbed with self improvement books and TV shows, and the like,
girls who are often embarrassed by the way their mothers
(11:43):
try to act like teenagers. A group of twelve year
olds said their mothers are coming to school, picking them up,
or coming to school events thinking that they are eighteen
year olds and it's embarrassing to them. Out of the
mouths of babes comes wisdom. Robert E. Rayford, passion along
on the John Boy and billy show.
Speaker 4 (12:30):
Good morning, that's a big shoulder radio man.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Here we go. It's time for the grumpy old man.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Fibberty, fabilty food. I'm old and I hate super heroes.
In my day, we didn't have no Kate flapping tight
wearing secret identity, hiding bad guy big slapping faster than
a speeding bullet, running tall building, leaping goodie two shoes.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
We had superheroes with powers.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
No one else has today, like staying married until you
died or it killed your man, or Captain Paysy's damn
bills on time. Look hump in the sky. It's a bird,
it's a plane. I hate these new glasses superheroes. We
(13:23):
love superheroes. Ah, what a load of monkey spit. In
my day, we didn't need no comic books to find
strange and unusual people who stood for something bigger than themselves.
We lived or in a part of history that produced
the real inspirations for them, funny paper phonies, a time
(13:45):
when humanodities out numbered the normal people, and we did
it the old fashioned Southern way in breeding.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
That's right.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
We were cousin humping maniacs, spitting out a steady stream
of off beat offspring to truth Justice had the Hillbilly Waite.
Probably the most famous was the town librarian, Little Scottie
yuh Bro, or as we called him, power Possum. He
was pure albino and whiter than patsayjack. He wore dark
(14:18):
glasses over his creepy pink eyeballs, and instead of a
belly button, he had a big fleshy pouch where he
kept his eye drops and beef jerk. He wore loose
fitting drawers to hide a big thick tail that hung
out over his butt crack. That night, he'd come out
and prowl the neighborhoods looking for peeping toms, and when
(14:39):
he found some pervert oogle and some defenseless women folk,
he'd pounce on him with all his possum powers. He'd
wrap his tail around their neck, scamper up a tree, and.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
After he lynched him with his human butt.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Rope, he didn't want any evidence, so he'd eat him.
Whooptie WHIPTI wobbled d I'm a pink eyed cannibal stringing
up the local dirt bags with my trusty rupnos, gobbling
up in it and learning the Dewey decimal system.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
And we liked it.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
We loved it.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
But just because we didn't have no superhero didn't mean
we didn't have a super villain. And he weren't no
man Bey Pamby Mama's Boy like that Red Skull or
that head wax.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
And hoy Pelloi Lex Luthor. We had a real badass.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
His name was Franklin Delano dark Anihilator. He was the
smartest guy in town, but he used his knowledge for
evil on a count. He had a little teeny wiki.
He was taking it out of the world. He had
a giant head like a hollyween punkin, and if you'd
sneak up and scare him, it.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Did wobble around like one of them bobbled. He had dogs, but.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
You had to be careful because when you weren't looking,
he'd swing that enormous.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
Nagging at you like a rabid tether ball.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
He had a cave under old Folly knuckle Humper's root seller.
He'd help himself to all that country ham and rudy
beggars and pickled turnips, and he'd let go with some
of the most foul, eye burning ash grenades known to man.
Sometimes he'd ride through town on his horse drawn dark
annihilator mobile cutting the cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:19):
And head just going every witch away.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
He was the county tax collector, so you couldn't screw
with him, because he'd take your land and put you
in a street to live with the gypsies. And he
am weights salesman. So we did the next best thing.
We gave his great Dane those extra strength laxatives and
took his wife to the hayloft for a little of
the old hibbit egibbety on the side that kept him
busy cleaning up poop and wondering why none of his
(16:43):
kids had giant heads like he did, wing a dingle
whippity do look at me, I'm a stupid pumpkin dodgeon
poop puddles and doing the table tangle with old hamster
Willie's wife, filling the town with illegitimate children and bitch
slapping the gypsies. That smells like victory with a sigh
to order a dog crack.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
And we liked it.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
We loved it. Flibberty flue. I hate superheroes. Good morning,
the big shows on the radio.
Speaker 8 (17:15):
Hang out all right, listen to you, mog It's time
to button your yapp say I'm trying to listen to
these two clowns, John Boy and Belly on the Big Show. Yeah,
the Big Show. It's big, say bigger than big. It's enormous. Hey,
he's adorable.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Friends
in Texas. It's gonna make sure y'all know about the
New Bronfels city.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Where well, that's like this is for me. Thank you
very much. How you found that.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
Work where it was talking about Robert ur Keine doing
an applause for the cause concert I lost some alongside
very special guest. August twenty eighth and Whitewater Amphitheater in
New Bronfles, Texas. It's thirty two miles northeast of downtown
San Antonio and then forty eight miles southwest of Austin.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So right there, that's a that's a good area there.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
So in the proceed support the Community Foundation of the
Texas Hill Country. And we got the Robert Earrol's website.
You can click over when you go to our website
and then that'll take you as well to the Community
Foundation of the Texas Hill Country.
Speaker 5 (18:58):
That's right, you'll be able to see that when you
can scam the through it and same thing on the
facebook page. You can do it as well. Okay, look
through his Facebook page.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Yep.
Speaker 5 (19:06):
Very similar to when you know concert for the Carolina's
happened in Charlotte for the Western North Carolina, right, you know,
kind of held it in the city close to you know,
away from so people could do their work and restore
where the damage happened. So just like that, that's why.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
They're going to define make a long time.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
Yes, yeah, if you can help, if you can, they
helped us.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
All right, Yo.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Well that concert is going to be August twenty eighth.
You find out all about it. Click on Robert Earl's
link at the Big Show dot com. Hang on wrapping
up our Big show morning. Many move in here in
a second. Let me tell you about what you can
win if you can win on wordy word. We got
an assortment of swag from World Lawn Moors. It's the
best value zero turned moors on the market. Got a
(19:52):
three year unlimited hours warning it commercial grade Kawasagi Engines
heavy duty fabricated decks starting. It's just thirty two nine
to nine world long, tough on grass, easy on you wallet.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Just look for the link at the Big Show dot Com.
Hang on play for it in minutes.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Rise and shine, movie Buffs, It's time for the John
Boy and Billy Big Show Morning Movie miniseriries special. When
we last left our intrepid adventurers, they had barely survived
the colossal case of the Killer Crabs, only to be
captured by a mysterious tribe of ancient island dwellers.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Will the madness never end?
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Join us now for the adventures of Captain John Boy
and first mate Spanky in the fourth and final chapter
of oder.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
I recognize the tune, but I cannot understand the lyrics.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
Don't you think that sounds familiar?
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And you shut up for two seconds? I can't think.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
Geez, what a crowd.
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Let's scoot over. It's tjing big enough for the two
of us.
Speaker 4 (20:49):
Wouldn't seem so snug if you, big head, wouldn't taken
up all the room.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I can hardly breathe.
Speaker 3 (20:54):
Yeah, I got a feeling we won't have to worry
about that much longer. Say what, check out that big
pot of boiling water. Unless I miss my guests, I
think these birds got them a taste for some red.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Ennick Skew oh brother, have you seen too many movies?
Or what?
Speaker 3 (21:09):
What is that supposed to mean?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
You are something else?
Speaker 4 (21:13):
Boy, you see a bunch of half naked natives dancing
around the fire, A big pot of water on the ball.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Human skeleton's everywhere right away, You're all gloom and doom.
Oh boo hoo. The natives are going eat over the
love it.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
I just hope they don't make us do it coconut
deal where we have to put them up.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Our bull You stop saying that.
Speaker 4 (21:33):
Didn't you ever hear that playhouse? If we can't do it,
they cut our heads off.
Speaker 3 (21:37):
But it looks like we're about to find out one
way or the other. Here comes to chief. Now let
me do the talking.
Speaker 4 (21:43):
Save your breath. These guys don't speak English. Listen, Mogo
told you bull go boll go woo go. I wonder
what he said.
Speaker 9 (21:57):
I said, enough with the drums already, guy's the band
take a smoke.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
Wrop you bat in a thousand genius.
Speaker 9 (22:04):
Everybody else repare the intrudos for that coconut deal?
Speaker 2 (22:09):
What they have to put them up the pot?
Speaker 3 (22:14):
Hold on your cheefee, let's talk about this.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
I'm just kidding.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
One of the boys overheard you talking psych Hey he
fell for.
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Oh my head, what a relief. You're a real joker there, chief, Yeah,
good one.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Nah, how about cutting us loutes, double us, figure out
a way out of here.
Speaker 9 (22:32):
Oh no, no, no, no, sorry, no, cand you boys are
staying for dinner.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Sweet What do we having? Looks like white meat to me?
Speaker 3 (22:44):
What you're still gonna heat us.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
That's how we were bonding, having a laugh.
Speaker 10 (22:49):
What cannibals can't have a sense of humor.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
We didn't say that, We just thought.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Okay, two cannibals sitting around the fire. One cannibal says,
I really hate my sister. The other one says, step
the noodles. My son got sent home from school for
buttering up the teacher. Buttering up forget it, you know,
having to dessert chocolate covered.
Speaker 10 (23:12):
Ants and uncles and uncles.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I'll be here all week. Don't forget to eat you waiter.
He's good. You gotta gig a mad shut up.
Speaker 9 (23:26):
It's too bad. You guys aren't gonna be a run
for the midnight show, all.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Right, get him in the pot. Start with the talking one.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
At last, a little justice, so that.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
Hey, turn me loose. I'm too young to no. Now
that water's hot?
Speaker 9 (23:41):
Now, o.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
O oh was it something I said?
Speaker 10 (23:51):
Did you say ooh wah, ooh wah, ooh whah.
Speaker 2 (23:55):
Yeah, I'll say it all the time, but that water
was on?
Speaker 10 (24:01):
Are you the one they call John boy?
Speaker 4 (24:04):
I'm alive?
Speaker 2 (24:05):
On a fart about it?
Speaker 9 (24:09):
What do you say there, you big old harry, but
picking no sailing pervert.
Speaker 10 (24:14):
We listen to you all the time on the radio.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
You guys have radio, of.
Speaker 9 (24:19):
Course, there's one on every boat left here by our
dinner guests. And judging by the size of your skull,
you must be billy. We love you, guys. Look what
happened to your voice?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
It's allergies?
Speaker 10 (24:33):
What are you allergic to?
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Big pots of boiling water?
Speaker 10 (24:37):
No, no, no, no, you are in no danger.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You mean you're not gonna hit us.
Speaker 9 (24:42):
We can always find other tourists, but how can we
ever replace the big show? Apart from the screams of
our victims begging for mercy, you are our only entertainment.
Speaker 3 (24:54):
Talk about a rough room.
Speaker 10 (24:55):
You are free to.
Speaker 9 (24:56):
Go on one condition, Amy chief. We could sure use
a case or two of that grillin sauce. Make some
of our company a little easier to swallow. Get it
easier to swallow.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Buddy, You got it, cheat, But first we gotta get home.
Speaker 10 (25:13):
Well, take any of these bots you once, How about
a nice yard? Take the eighty footer over there.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Well it's not my.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
Donzie, but I guess it's okay. Do you have anything
a little bigger?
Speaker 3 (25:23):
You? Shut up and get on the boat.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
Thanks a lot, cheap love yoke?
Speaker 11 (25:26):
Mean it the hello too, Jackie and the dander.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
Oh man, that was close.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
It's like I told you, it's good to be John Boy. Hey,
look a built in ships compass.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Oh and look what else?
Speaker 2 (25:44):
Now? A fishpat?
Speaker 3 (25:46):
Do you have anything bigger? You idiot? I hope you've
learned a lesson than all this.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
I sure have.
Speaker 4 (25:52):
It's better to have a nod on my head than
a coconut in my butt.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Just drive the boat, and as our intrepid cruise sails
for home, we waved goodbye to the fourth and final
chapter of this John Boy and Billy Big Show Morning
Movie Miniseries. Super special event until next time. This is
your morning movie host Burt Fern, saying, so long, cinemaniacs.
Speaker 6 (26:16):
Alright, EESes on boy, hikee, Well let's play wordy word
one ain't on it makes show you told free long,
get a couple of contestants and play next.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Good morning.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Let's big show on the radio on Monday morning, July twenty.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
This kid a whole week ago wordy word.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
And everybody's head about the bad.
Speaker 4 (27:16):
Yeah, man, let's do not contestants. We got Rich from
Myrtle beat South Carolina.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Go morning, Rich, Good morning, sir, Hey.
Speaker 4 (27:28):
Moddy, Hey, we got Carl from bat Tavia.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
I go Indiana, Idaho? Where is that state? Jackie? You
don't know, he's just random runners. Hey, Carl, you and Iowa. Carl,
my name Steve. I can barely hear you. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
I tell you right.
Speaker 6 (27:51):
Receptions really bad.
Speaker 5 (27:53):
We's got a really bad connection.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
Okay, all.
Speaker 4 (27:58):
Right, well hang on, let's see if we can solve
that right quick, bro, bro, all right, Carl, you got
us now, buddy, Yes, sir, alright, the isle was staticky.
It wasn't your fault, jockey, right, boys, So Tater and Carl,
John Boy and Rich, let's do two rounds to see
(28:19):
if we can get us a winter wordy word for
one hundred and twenty dollars worth of bull snunt.
Speaker 2 (28:24):
All right, Carl, you relax, Rich, are you old women?
Oh no, okay? Three letter words?
Speaker 4 (28:32):
Yeah, we got all mad because they were hard last time. Okay,
I got a little mad. We're going with three letter words.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Guys. All right, Rich are you ready? Yes, sir, okay,
start to clock. Now.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
College kids drink beer out of one of these A
big old mud.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
No, another word, that's.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
Big you tap it tap a yes, uh huh okay,
this like Mother's against drunk driving and like it was
a magazine man, Yes, uh huh. This is what you
paddle a boat with. And yes uh the high card
(29:16):
in the deck is the eight.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yes, not the mom but the dad.
Speaker 6 (29:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Money, good word.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
Now there's a five with some good old three letter words.
I told y'all it would be good.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
I.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
Go.
Speaker 4 (29:39):
Let's see what you dator can do for your round one.
There was a five on the board for Rich. Okay,
brand new word and go.
Speaker 5 (29:48):
You do this to a hole past tense with a shovel.
You blank a hole? You and you you did it already. Okay,
now the first part of this, all right, will go
to the blank out when it's not their turn to
be on the field.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
The blank out. Yes, all right, this.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Means your heavy set. You've got a lot of this
on you. You are wait three letters, yes, you use
this again in your house.
Speaker 4 (30:20):
Oh, there's a bozzer right there. All right, so a
two on the board for Carl. It's five to two.
All right, Rich, here's where we pile on for the wind.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Are you ready? Yes, sir, and go.
Speaker 4 (30:33):
You use this to unlock your door? Yeah, this is
what you have. Test tube scientists, man, scientists in the
what test tubes, and they do experiments in the what
the three letter words? Yes, uh huh, Peter blank, you never.
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Grow up, pam? Yeah, uh huh.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
A blank doll, hey, little blank doll, little.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Blank black doll. Yeah, that is the ch I'll pick
up the what.
Speaker 4 (31:02):
Yeah, after nine, I'm sorry, put.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
A five on that.
Speaker 4 (31:09):
Five A ten score, Carl, Let's see.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
What you and Taylor can do. Eight will tie it
up and.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Go the number after nine? Yes, the dog's tail will
what a dog's tail?
Speaker 2 (31:36):
You do this to your card? Make it shine?
Speaker 5 (31:39):
No?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
Three letters?
Speaker 5 (31:41):
Yes, first blank, it's you know, it's health first blank?
Cool blank, it's a drink cool sorry cool blank, gator blank?
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Sorry, twins fire my finger, twits to I and uh
that word was aid, by the way, for y'all playing
at home.
Speaker 4 (32:12):
The first aid well Carl out of Bactamia Otah, I
mean I oh what I mean?
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Illinois? Wherever you are you can drive you buddy. We
appreciate you playing with us. Love you, Larry, Carl.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
Rich, you hang on your bull's not gleaning products.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Headed down to myrtle bats.
Speaker 5 (32:36):
Could I give a shout out?
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Of course you can.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
I like to give a shout out to President Trump.
And I'd like to give a shout out to all
the first responders who went to Texas.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
God bless them well, Thank you Rich. Shout out buddy,
budd God bless the big show. Thank you mate.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
When you hang right there, Rich, i'all can hook you up.
Good morning, got the bag sh on the radio. Bit
requests from Ungo Andy Shaw. Guys, I want to hear
that old commercial goobaro. Thanks longtime listener, had a new
born North Carolina. We've got it and we're all going
back a waff of gooboo.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
What do it next?
Speaker 4 (33:39):
Good morning, It's a big showing the radio and something
you'd like to hear about this time Monday through Friday.
Hit us up on the John over on the Facebook
page longtime listener and know who you are at the
New North Carolina he goes Son.
Speaker 11 (33:55):
Googleoo has been building cars the same way since nineteen
fifty four, plane boxing, almost totally devoid of personality. In fact,
it might just be the same car they were building then.
In nineteen eighty, the ugliest car in Japan became the
ugliest car in America. For the past thirty years, no
(34:17):
car maker is thought more about cup holder placement and
less about kerb appeal than Gubaroo. But ugly is what
we do. From the original tu door Gubaru travesty to
the simulated luxury of the plastica sedan to the rugged
all will drive hunchback SUV, Goobaru's awkwardly butchered styling has
(34:39):
made it the number one choice of public defenders, LPGA
golfers and crazy cat ladies across the USA, and the
word is getting around. Road and Track says your average
Gubaroo is shaped like a sackful of door knocks.
Speaker 2 (34:54):
Autoweek says the.
Speaker 11 (34:56):
Only thing worse than looking at it is driving it.
Car talk dot Com calls Goobaru Kathy Griffin with wheels
and now the front wheel drive Goobaru Hunchback has just
been named one of car and drivers ten Gayis Cars Echo,
why should your car be prettier than you? Goobaro as
(35:16):
plain and unadorned as the woman who drives one official
vehicles of Oprah and Gaels No boys allowed. Road trip
across America coming this fall. Get zero points zero percent
financing for seventy two months plus season tickets for the
WNBA team of your choice during the Goobaru Little Fare
of Value Sales event. Visit gooburu dot com or see
(35:37):
you're desperately struggling dealer for details.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Good morning, it's a big show on the radio. Feeds
your dragging the bed box liplers glad to have this.
Speaker 4 (36:10):
Visit Berliplace keywords summer time when you at the big
show dot com?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
All right, man turning loose. Morning there, y'all w horning,
all you inch o hey, hold you and yacke. I
hear your wavor it. I need dragging out you hang on.
You don't love me, you won't worry. I wanter. I
think you got well out.
Speaker 4 (36:38):
Hard time here again somebody had season out all I
want it?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Hell we are tin hot?
Speaker 11 (36:45):
Does get hot in the summer.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah, you know what you don't touch while talking and
areeze kind of cools. We're all right, I'm wrong? A
what load? O my havard yoking about summer time? But
Joe already right? The falls begin the balls? Oh, let
the goo falls be? Where does she sing? There's somewhere vacation?
Speaker 11 (37:12):
Where does sheep spend their summer vacation in the Bahamas?
Speaker 3 (37:20):
Why not like that?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Somewhere cool?
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Cold?
Speaker 12 (37:22):
I can't take a sweater. All can't take their sweater?
Where do sharks go on vacation? Where do sharks finland?
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Nowhere? I had hard works anywhere and won't anywhere.
Speaker 11 (37:42):
What do you get when you called her elephant with
a What do you get when you cross an elephant
with a fish? Swimming trunks?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
I had? I don't know what look out when it
was a canon wall in the womb?
Speaker 11 (37:57):
Oh there you go?
Speaker 2 (38:00):
All right, Okay, we're over.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
Who's irish and he's outside all summer long?
Speaker 11 (38:11):
Who's irish and stays outside all summer long? Patty old furniture?
I had old skin cancer, legie skin cancer?
Speaker 3 (38:24):
Me?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
What's thet saying to do if you lose your y'all
at the hunt factory.
Speaker 11 (38:33):
The best thing to do if you lose your job
at the sun Tan Lusion Factory, reapply every thirty minutes.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
I had take a good hard look at you, like,
because you probably could do that life coach, right right?
Speaker 4 (38:52):
Why couldn't the little kid get in to see the
new Hirate movie?
Speaker 11 (38:56):
Couldn't the little kid get in to see the new Pirate?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
It was rated? I have no idea. That's it you have?
I had? It shows who was woody?
Speaker 11 (39:10):
It shows too much booty?
Speaker 2 (39:14):
Why does it woing never take cake?
Speaker 11 (39:18):
Why does the mommy mummy never take a summer vacation? Well,
he's scared to unwind.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
He waited.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Why I had caught the day because he's.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
I got the.
Speaker 4 (39:38):
What's the only time you go while it's red and
it's top when it hurts green?
Speaker 11 (39:45):
The only time you go while it's red and stop
when it turns green? When you're eating a watermelon?
Speaker 2 (39:53):
Summer time?
Speaker 5 (39:54):
For?
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I had? When you drunk?
Speaker 4 (39:57):
When you're drunk, well, I say, where's trap?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Next time?
Speaker 4 (40:02):
Is the old whatdy listeners saying this is your what?
He list listen, y'all hallo ishous hub.
Speaker 2 (40:07):
Bitch and suver.
Speaker 11 (40:11):
Big Boxes here all your favorites from four decades of
The Big Show ninety nine since each fifteen for nine
ninety nine.
Speaker 2 (40:16):
Buy them once, play them anywhere.
Speaker 11 (40:17):
You can shop the Big Box online right now at
the Big Show dot Com.
Speaker 2 (40:21):
Order a Big Show Stuff I phone.
Speaker 11 (40:22):
The number is eight hundred and four to seven one
Stuff Online services by Anemic dot Com.
Speaker 2 (40:27):
Have you missed any of The Big Show this morning?
You can hear it now. All the John Boy Billy
Late Risers.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
Podcast up next. Wherever you get your podcast making easy,
subscribe to us with a free I Heard Radio out
I love you mean it
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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