October 13, 2025 • 40 mins
Monday (pt 1 of 2): On Today’s Late Riser’s Podcast, in honor of the first cornerstones being laid for the official White House, we’ll reflect on our trip there back in the day.. - Gary Busey has been “temporarily detained” so his Cousin Mary will fill in for his diary update.. - we’ll fill a request for Ricky Tidwell’s Mama.. - and in honor of Columbus Day - we’ll take a hard look at what John Boy has in common with the explorer of the new world…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Good morning and rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical? Goad to
(01:01):
do coca ricos?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
That what the French, they would say, take to coccos.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Making the sound of the rooster. She's so cute.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I don't know which one of you is going to
end up in the trap.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Yes, we have spanned the globe here on the Big
Show over the years.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And sometimes the globe has spanned us.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
We don't need to practice.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
France came to America, so that was that was all.
We went to Japan the Minister of Tourism. As we
were doing our part.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I thought you were doing like a history lesson of America.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I was like, what it was all about the Big Show.
It's all about the Big Show. Range you ought to
know that?
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Oh boy excited and y'all brought me on full time.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I was like, gonna travel.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Now. I had to pull her out in the parking
lot A couple of times.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Schooler and.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
We are trapping.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
And today we are celebrating when we did the Big
Show from the White House. Yes, we were in the
White House. Then what was imageur you looked the years,
it was a George Bush.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It was w that's right.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, man, that's when we met Sean Hannity. You know,
we said he was a big fan of the Big Show. Man,
cool Sean, do real.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Good for the picture of you guys with Ashcroft.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah, man around like three Yeah, who's no wild Democratic
cage and down there, well we'll always your hands about that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's married to Mary Matlin and she was there.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Yeah, so anyway you.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Looked at up.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
But I'm telling you this because we're celebrating that because
they began construction on the White House on this day
and history, and we started thinking about our trip there.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
So yeah, that was another trip. I helped line up
all the guests for you to talk to, and I
just had to hear about it.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, we needed somebody back on the ground, Tata to
take care of them.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Yeah, that was.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
All right.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We're going good time.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
We gonna get to it and get the winning beginning,
all right, the brand new week of broadcast. All right,
we're way back cram it big shows on the radio.
Good morning, I got the big show on the radio.
Get our first prize pack for you to win as
a LS Tractor prize pack clues, hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler,
and a key chain. Go to LS Tractor USA dot
(03:42):
com find your local dealer, Learn why customers start blue
and stay blue?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
All right man?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Three days in History where We're gonna categories. Nineteen thirteen,
the first air passenger flight is made from Albany, New
York to New York City.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Nineteen thirty.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Wilbur and Orville was already done with their deal out
to the Kitty Hawk.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Apparently I fell down that dune. I'll tell you that
story later.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Nineteen fifty seven, Being Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced America
to a brand new car, the Edsel. The Ford Motor
Company sponsored a one hour musical special with the two
superstars to promote its new EDXEL model.
Speaker 9 (04:27):
That wasn't cheap.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It wasn't the Edseel's fault. That it was a great car.
So it's just that's what what was the deal?
Speaker 8 (04:34):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Was it just had it had so many highly advanced
features that people were like, well, I don't need a
car knows that.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
It's like my grandad. I ain't gonna wear a Saint
belt for getting the wreck. Yeah, car, catch on fire.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm going to get thrown clear. That's what my dad
always said. So anyway, you had the Edzel model was
just over by his head. Back in nineteen fifty seven,
all right. Finally, nineteen seventy eight the British Columbia Auction,
the Houston tavern owner Jim Anderson paid three thousand for
(05:08):
a pair of Bloomers once worn by Queen Victoria.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Wow, now there's a pervert.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
There are history's most expensive used Bloomers.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Does all right? But there you go.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
There's a categories one eight hundred big shows. He told
Free Love, we'll play out Burst next good Monday morning,
(05:59):
ain't going and half bad here in this October to
thirteenth and our feature track from the Makes Your Bet
Box Here on Columbus Day, comparing Christopher Columbus with John
Boy Randy's humor, He words, Columbus, we'll get into your
Columbus ideas.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
All right, now, let's.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Get ups let's play upburst.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
John Boy Billy gave the prizes from the big prize
being Let's go. He contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upburst, have a y.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Up and guest time. You have the best time level
big shots.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
Pat's say hey the school from door chat Stairs, South Carolina.
Speaker 8 (07:10):
Martin Stu, good morning, John boy.
Speaker 11 (07:15):
Man.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
How are what?
Speaker 5 (07:19):
How in the hell are you?
Speaker 8 (07:26):
I'm not that bad in the vocabulary. Okay, I got you.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah man, I'm getting them forgetting Yeah, loud headphones for
fifty years. Yeah yeah, kids stay in school, all right,
let's get see.
Speaker 8 (07:42):
It happened and I did stand in front of a
lot of loud music.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
So there you go, sitting in loud music. You know, guns,
you know, it kind of builds up over the years. There,
white tone, yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
You know, and pretending your death for like twenty five years,
you know, gets gets old. Well, Stu, check out the
John won'billy facebook page if you the news story can
get my reference. Uh, Stu, We're gonna get you through
these three categories.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
You ready to go, buddy, I'm as ready as I
can be.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, let's do three things that carry passengers.
Speaker 8 (08:24):
Ready go man, airplane, uber muscles.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, all right, Stu. Three things in a vehicle, ready
to go.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
Let's see a steering will a seat?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay, break that's only can think about got hung up.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
From you know, he's never been inside the car.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Stu, Here we go, buddy. You give us for the wind.
Three things sold at an auction, Ready go.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
At the auction.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Bloomers.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, that's two. You know if you got it like that.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Rend Stow took a little help, buddy, but we got
you to You got the big old LS tractor prize pipe.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
We appreciate you listening and playing with us this morning.
Speaker 8 (09:32):
Don boy, you take care and I'll listen to you
all every morning religiously.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
You are the man. Stew hang on our girl, Jackie?
Speaker 8 (09:38):
All right, Jackie, all right? I mean dom boy.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Did I buy the many hour Tobbyo news? Little Robert
Earl game get ready?
Speaker 8 (09:54):
Uh not?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Swerves from Bunday mornings ain't long in a minute?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Happy
birthday to the.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
United States Navy two hundred and fifty years old. So
proud to have lie y'all listen to big shoviny years.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Man.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
It's so awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You see President Trump Millennia celebrating.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
With the Navy over the wiki.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
May we got us a hot First Lady Award. I'm
telling you what, Wow, We'll go man back to the
Navy way to go after Birthday in fifty years.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Let's me get background. Monday Morning song.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Y'all reg to sing along Robert Earl Keine.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
That's done by Robert Earl Keane. Is being lyinging up
at your studio.
Speaker 12 (11:20):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 11 (11:25):
Come on, Jack and get Sometimes on my days are
filled with right as I traveled down last bad things
ain't going my way because there's always.
Speaker 13 (11:44):
Someone swirming in my line. You keep swiming in the
line and it's causing lots of.
Speaker 14 (11:54):
Thingger I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 12 (12:00):
I'm shooting you the flame.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
To keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 8 (12:08):
Just too dim to.
Speaker 14 (12:12):
When you're swerving all lives pie way. You're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 11 (12:20):
The day Joe, Why I thought I never never.
Speaker 12 (12:28):
Could love another? How else could I feed? But bowing
you run into.
Speaker 11 (12:38):
Me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 13 (12:49):
To keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bames.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I'm a cussing out your name. I'm a shifting.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
He's a fight.
Speaker 12 (13:04):
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
But you're just too dimpty.
Speaker 14 (13:10):
Now when you're swerving all lights o by, you're running
someone off the ride.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Driving a big show. Good morning, it's a big show
(13:54):
on the radio. Action Hello, Fred, you're.
Speaker 15 (14:00):
All paled Burnburn Here with another sinus shriveling edition of
John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Wanna Bet. As
our story opens, a study lawyer is talking on the
phone as she boards her flight to Houston.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
I know, I know. I'll get off the phone before
take off.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I know the law.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
I'm a lawyer. I'll run along, toss some peanuts to
the monkeys and coach. Sorry, Marla, the help was interrupting me.
Of course, I'm sitting at first glass. Who's sitting next
to me? I don't know. Let's see. Oh my, it's
some hay seed in a maga hat. I'm gonna have
some fun. I'll call you when I land. Hello, I
(14:41):
think I'm sitting next to you.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh no, you ain't.
Speaker 15 (14:45):
What do you mean you ain't sitting You're standing next
to me?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
This is gonna be fun?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
What was that I said?
Speaker 5 (14:52):
You look like fun?
Speaker 8 (14:53):
Ooo?
Speaker 15 (14:54):
You got that right, Sugar breeches. Just wait till that
Drake Carr comes around.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You ain't seen then yet.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
I can't wait. I'm Lily Peace, and you are.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Claude till more in the flesh. Please to meet you,
Miss Lily.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
You always fly first class?
Speaker 15 (15:09):
Oh shoot, no, they oversold the cheap seats and I
got bumped up here Lucky, I guess lucky.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Say?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Would you like to play a game?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What like spin the bottle?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Maybe later? Let's ask each other questions. If you don't
know the answer to my question, you owe me five dollars.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Woo, I don't know five dollars. That's in my state.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yeah, but if I can't answer your question, I'll pay
you one hundred dollars.
Speaker 15 (15:38):
A c note.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
H bang, you got a deal. Fare away.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
Let's start with an easy one, shall we. What's the
distance from the Earth to the moon.
Speaker 15 (15:47):
Ooh, dang uh, Well it's got to be more than
a couple hundred miles.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, shoot, I can't say for sure. Dang namit.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Here's five dollars.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Thank you. Now it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 15 (16:00):
Uh, okay, what goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Oh okay, let me think you got me here you go, Holley.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Do mister Franklin were going to Applebee's tonight.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
So what was the answer?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Hell, I don't know. Here's five bucks.
Speaker 15 (16:25):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh miss Lily.
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Oh undo them?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Top three buttons.
Speaker 15 (16:33):
Who tune in next time when we'll hear Lily's friend
Marla trying to raise her bail money.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good
morning is a big show on radio.
Speaker 16 (16:48):
Helly you Lindsey premise here when I'm on mid side
of the pond, I get my daily dous of culture
and edification every morning from these two delightful lands, John
Boy and Billy right here on the big show. You know,
I hate to break it to you boys, but where
I come from, you're all Yankees.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Who well, I thought it was funny.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
H good morning.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's a big shaw on the radio, celebrating today when
we got a special limitation to broadcast from the White House.
It took a big sod to the White House. Long
bucking wouldn't say what round two thousand during the bushitting
the Bush administration was when it was celebrating with memories.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
We start that one is top ten, Liz, go right out.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
The top ten things John Boy has said since arriving
on the ground. Number ten? Can I use the bathroom?
Number nine? Is it okay if we pulled the big
show grill right up to the gate here? Number eight?
Y'all still give out those badges like the one Elvis got?
Numbers six? You sure I can't use the bathroom?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Really had good?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Number five?
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Any old interns laying around y'all aren't using number four?
Why does everybody keep asking to see my press pass.
Speaker 7 (18:47):
Umber?
Speaker 6 (18:48):
Can we get some extra badges for our kids? Number two?
Can you see the statue.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Of liberty from here?
Speaker 6 (18:57):
And the number one thing John Boy has said while
on the One House grounds, Can somebody get me some
more toilet paper?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Let me leave right here taking ease of their forest dump.
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Jeff
Pillars runs down some stuff from our White House broadcast
here on our special Monday morning show on the Navy's birthday.
Coming up, We're gonna play John Boy Jeopardy and we
(19:26):
will play for a Happy Herd prize bag is hunting season, y'all.
Happy Herd makes top quality attract instrumenterals and feed for deer,
bear and hogs. Tack on a Happy Herd banner at
the Big Show dot Com Enter Coach JBB you'll get
tim percent off at checkout Wildlife. George up moving around,
and we got some herd going, so I might have
(19:47):
some cool pictures before too much longer.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay, gotta wait for the season to come in.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Just a little bit, just a little bit idea, So
hang on, we'll play for that end minutes.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
But back to fun at the White House.
Speaker 17 (20:01):
Yeah, yeah, wasn't too long ago. How boys, Washington DC,
the nation's capital, inside.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
The belt Loop?
Speaker 6 (20:10):
I think you mean inside the belt Way.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
You weren't with me and Jackie in the hot tub.
Speaker 17 (20:17):
Let's bring Jeff Pillars in to read from his NARI
on our latest Big Show trip.
Speaker 9 (20:25):
Charlotte twelve forty five PM. Arrive at the aviation for
one pm takeoff. Surprise to see John Boy pacing in
front of the terminal screaming about us being late. Randy
points out that Johnny has not yet set his watch
back stupid. This is going to be a long trip.
Twelve fifty Randy hands out suit bags containing our uniforms.
(20:46):
Johnny hands his bag to me, saying his hands are full.
Twelve fifty one PM Johnny heads for the plane, an
umbrella in one hand, a sandwich in the other. Twelve
fifty five make the biggest mistake of the trip by
trying to set in the bathroom seat on the plane.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Not good.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
Either this is a smaller plane than last time, or
my booty is bare. Probably the latter had to suffer
the indignity of Marty laughing at him. One six PM
land in Washington. Get hustled by John Boy into carrying
his bag again. Two one pm. Arrive at the hotel.
Bellman gets hustled into carrying Johnny's bags. I get hustled
(21:23):
into tipping him. Three pm. Crew meets in hotel lounge
to discuss the show. Jackie bonds with some of her
peeps over here.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Okay, and you know and who the baby daddy is.
Speaker 9 (21:42):
Three h nine pm. Everyone orders appetizers except John Boy.
He says he's not hungry, but proceeds to go from
plate to plate for just a taste. Put three twenty
seven pm, the crew decides to order dinner since they
didn't get to eat their appetizers. John Boy takes a pass,
saying he's full. Dinner comes see appetizer scenario. Three thirty
(22:04):
seven PM. Accidentally gets seated next to Rayford, who begins
his brown liquor reminiscing about his days in Washington. Five
thirty pm. Interrupt Rayford to go to the bathroom. Five
point thirty two pm. Come back to find someone else
in my seat. Rayford is still talking. Take the chance
to make my getaway. Five forty five pm. Decide to
(22:27):
go to the hotel hot tub. Find Johnny in his
boxer shorts bobbing in the bubbles. Then I noticed the
hot tub.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Is not on. Go back to room, order dinner and
go to bed.
Speaker 9 (22:41):
Wednesday morning, five point fifteen arrive in lobby to leave
for the White House. Find Johnny angrily pacing in the
lobby yelling about everyone being late. Finally, Randy resets Johnny's
watch for him.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Stupid Randy.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Five eighteen am get security in an unlocked bar so Rayford
can go along. Have to force him to got his
conversation short with that bust of Napoleon.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
Nineteen.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
Ryford picks up where he left off with Napoleon with
the limo driver. I get hustled into carrying Johnny's bag again.
Five point twenty two. Arrive at the front gate of
the White House. Marty's underwire man's ear sets off the
metal detect Now I get to laugh at him. Cruse
submits to strip search Billy's Everyone knew Billy had a
tattoo of Marvin the Martian, but did not realize he
(23:26):
had it there.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Six am show begins.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
Randy reminds us that if we ruin this for him,
he's going to kill us all. Seven point fifteen Jackie
hooks up with Condoleeza Rice over here. Okay, and you
must be talking about Clinton. Ten am show ends. Johnny
takes all the credit. I get to carry his bag again.
Ten forty five am. Take the White House tour tour
(23:53):
guy tells us he's a member of the Secret Service.
Everyone wonders how bad he had to screw up to
get busted down to tour dude praying nothing bad happens
with him in charge. Ten fifty four am John Boy
cockily asked the tour guide if they used to use
candles in the chandeliers before they had electricity. I actually
think I heard a pin drop. Eleven twenty am. Pack
(24:17):
up and head back to the hotel. Crew has to
help lug heavy broadcasting equipment back to the van. Johnny
helps carries umbrella and sandwich. Eleven thirty. Get back to
the hotel. Run to room. Marty carries Johnny's back. This
time Rayford strikes up conversation with the concierge. Hour and
(24:37):
a half later, one pm. Rayford is still talking, but
the concierge has left. Get in the limo to leave
for the airport. We can tell Johnny's watch is fixed.
He's late. Two fifteen. Get back on the plane. Make
Berry sit on toilet seat. He has plenty of rooms.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Three thirty.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Get back to Charlotte.
Speaker 9 (24:59):
Get stuck carrying Johnny's bag button, tag it in the
terminal and put it on another plane. Shut off cell
phone and speed home. Four point thirty. Get home and
immediately read the want ads. It's a seat opening for
baggage handler. Cry go to bed. Have nightmare about Billy's tattoo.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It was magical, wed.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Those good memories. Yeah, I love that all right, And
we've got more. I go for it right now. Let's
play John boy Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in here
with a Happy Herd prize pack. In the nineteen sixties,
Catholics were still not allowed to eat meat on Fridays,
so McDonald's rolled out the hula burger. It was a
(25:44):
toasted bun with melted cheese, mustard cuts up, a pickle,
all topped off with a grilled slice of this.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
What is a McRib because you know that ain't meat.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
What y'all got one eight hundred big shoe you told
free line, We go to We got the Winter. We
play John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning, there's.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
A Big Show on the radio. We got that feature
track from the Big Show bid box here on.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Columbus Day, comparing Christopher Columbus with God more. There's for
keywords Columbus in the bid box at the Big Show
dot Com. There right now, let's play Oh Yeah live
across America. It's John Boyd Jeopardy and now your host
he says, it's a shame nothing is built in America anymore.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I mean he bought a news me and it says
built in tuoner. He don't even know where that is
shotting boy.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
As they hated Tommy out of Kingsport, Tennessee. Good morning, Tommy,
good morning. Well hello Tommy with a smiley face. Eye yeah,
big eyes and asley big eye, a little tall. Okay,
workshops some stuff later on, Tyler, Are you taking notes?
Speaker 5 (27:30):
How's that charisma working on you?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Tommy?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
You got the first shot at John Boydjeverary this morning.
Let's just go with that. So it was nineteen sixties.
Catholics were still not allowed to eat meat on Friday.
So McDonald's rolled out the Hula burger burger. There's a
toasted bun with melted cheese, mustard, cuts up a pickle,
and it's all topped off with a grilled slice of this.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Well, let's see, I think I go with a pineapple.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
A pineapple. Let's see.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah, ground pineapple is good. That was good. I'm started
liking it on pizza like that.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
You know what, I have tried it on pizza. It's
not bad.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
You got I got a ride ingredients surrounded.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Hey, well wait tell you nothing, Tommy, look at you,
big old price back head the king Sport.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Congratulations, thank you the first time.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Alrighty yeah man, pineapple good, that's good. That would always
have that woman fish out of Costa Rica a lasuneos
like that.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Always have that fresh on the boat. Cut it up,
that's good, old pine.
Speaker 7 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Once you get a grill going, you go down anyway. Okay,
I'm getting hungry. Okay, we're hungry. That's all right. We've
got to plan out here, little pineapple with an eye.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Using it time capsule all the other job, no challenge,
other fruits.
Speaker 18 (29:08):
M This is the award winning John Boy and Billy
(29:36):
Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Man.
Speaker 7 (29:49):
Hello, hoyt oh, my life.
Speaker 17 (29:51):
I want to fight about not right now, Hod, I'm
not feeling too well, John, Billy.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
Here, Johnny, don't there he goes again?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Boy, don't make him laugh?
Speaker 7 (30:08):
Laugh boy, all right, all right, I'll do my fan Okay.
Not a good thing to say when we're getting ready
to do a phone call.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, well, we just want to check in with did
you see how you doing?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Man? I care?
Speaker 8 (30:21):
I was like, what what? Why?
Speaker 6 (30:22):
What's wrong?
Speaker 7 (30:23):
Bout stuck in this trailer out in the sticks with
Debrett and his daddy.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Oh Man, Reid's still living with you guys, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:30):
Him and wife number six going through that message divorce
man sleeping on the couch. She he gets back on
his feet.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Never did patch it up with her.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
She had a lot of growing up to do. And
when I say a lot, I mean low. You know
he likes him young. Yeah, yesterday he's on the phone
arguing with her about it. Who gets the easy bait?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Young? Well, tell him we hope everything turns out all right?
What what else is happening?
Speaker 5 (30:56):
No I care.
Speaker 7 (30:58):
They had a weird experience yesterday morning when he pulled us.
A couple of long chairs up in the front yard
were sitting there and having a cup of coffee before work.
He's kind of watching the traffic go by here on
the highway, and this big old truck with a state
emblem pulls up across the road and fella gets out
with a shovel and he digs in the hole. It's
(31:18):
about two feet across and about three feet deep, and
he gets back in the truck. Well, the truck just
sits there for I don't know, four or five minutes,
and finally this fella gets out of the passenger side
of the truck with another shovel. He walks over to
the hole and fills it back up with dirt and
then he gets back in the truck. And here's where
(31:39):
it gets real weird. They pull up about twenty feet
and stop, and the first fella gets out again, digs
another hole like the first one, and gets back in
the truck. Five minutes go by, second fella gets out.
I have a dog lot if he don't fill that
second hole back up, and then he gets back in
the truck. They pull up another twenty feet, same thing again.
Why said they did this war or five times while
(32:01):
we sat there watching him, And finally curiosity got the
best of me. I walked across the road, knocked on
the window of the truck and he rolls it down.
I said, excuse me there, buddy, Me and my friend
I've ever been watching you for the past fifteen minutes.
It's god all stunk. Just what in the hell are
you boys doing? He says? Wow? Where is the governor's
highway beautification project? And the fella that plants the trees
(32:25):
called in sick today. I hope I didn't kill you
that I tried. I tried to rain it in a
little bit and say you wouldn't. Actually it's not gonna
run you gonna yeah, probably, Well, well you tell him.
(32:46):
I said, you know what you mean. Y'all all came
in sight of the.
Speaker 18 (32:59):
Boy.
Speaker 19 (32:59):
You want to say some time the next time you're
in a DVD, don't bother rewinding it. The way I
see it, it's the next guys property.
Speaker 18 (33:11):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
It's a mix show on the radio on Monday, October
to the thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Around we read it, okay together, around.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
And now an entry into the diary of Gary Busey's
cousin Mary.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
Dear Diary, this is Mary Fucy. Cousin Gary weren't able
to make the entry this week. He's taking a little
break courtesy of the state. Now the Charlie Sheen's Sweet
at the Charlie Napier Correctional Facility. I don't know all
the details, but it seems like I heard he got
into a pissing contest with wee man from Jacks. They
(34:25):
should have called him wee wee man. Do you get it, Diary,
I mean a literal pissing contest. They had little Filler
hit the road as soon as he seed the blue lights,
but cousin Gary, well, he's too prone to stop midstream.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Put a tarp on the tepee type two pea pee.
My drawers are wet and I feeling seafe. Swimming up
streams is like on otter. I guess cousin Gary's making water.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Splitch blenched host taking a bleak just until the po
po showed up.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Head drop non poot po So diary. I'm in charge
of cosa debuty for a spell. Came all the way
out from Tosa, Oklahoma. Yeah, tain't never been to LA before.
I wanted my fat brother Moosey Beausey to tag along,
(35:18):
but he's in a pie eating contest, so I'm on
my own here. Los Angeles is a different sortie place
that calm. You have to look pretty hard to find
a weirdo. I mean, we got plenty of rednecks, Jehovah
witnesses and doorder or tupperware salesman, but not many weirdos.
(35:42):
I tell you out here, you can't fart without crop
dust and some ding dong with green hair, a ballerina
dress and a Daddy's girl two shirt or fake boobs
and face pierced to the Bejesus belt. And the women
are even worse thrine. What in the world is that
a girl either? That a rabbits, squirrel things a lot,
but no damn thankye. I think gonna pass on this
(36:03):
ganggay bangay diary trying to get a bike to eat
out here. No frosty creams, no golden corrals, and the
dennis alsome like ransid jalapenos and expired vesels. I mean,
(36:26):
the Indians own all the Mexican restaurants, and the Greeks
own the Indian restaurants, and the Mexicans own the Chinese joints,
and the Vietnamese on the donut shops.
Speaker 6 (36:33):
All right, by wait, I got gag gama.
Speaker 5 (36:38):
I just gave up on all that and decided to
look for a good wainer back home. We got der
winter Snitzels, wiener world Chef's Walley's wiener wigwam and of
course the famous handsome whistling waners. Eat one of those,
and they gotcha, gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 6 (36:55):
Oh gorgeous.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Out here, they told me they call him Glizzlies.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Glizzies.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
I mean that sounded to me like it was being
set up for a joke or something.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Just my luck.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
I asked some bird where I can get a Glizzie,
And next thing you know, I'm in a bathtub, little
of ice of the motel five and missing a kidney.
Oh not interested now. So I was driving my rental
car around the city looking for a wonderful wiener. As
I do, Hey, we're get a girl from out of town.
Find a tasty wiener. I finally asked that guy who's
(37:30):
standing on the corner, and before the cops toted him off,
he gave me his phone number. Oh, I hope he
gets out for I hope he gets out for I
gotta leave because I still ain't got that waner. No, sir,
wier Listen, old.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
La, what a waitness?
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Brother?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Day eight hours later and no tube steak.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
Somebody give a girl a break, y'all, y'all wait, Okay,
I'll take up a ridle. What I heard from cousin
Gary that celebrity is was everywhere. The only place I
saw any was out in front of that big old
Chinese theater. I'll be damned if I know why more
(38:07):
people wasn't there. I mean, I met Batman, Superman, Captain
Jack Sparrow. Hell, even SpongeBob was there, holler than I
thought he'd be, and he was a smoke or too.
I tried to shake Superman's hand, but he wouldn't put
down that bottle of Thunderbird. I then Kryptonit ain't his
only weakness. I even met a pack man. I might
(38:30):
be from Tulsa, but I'm no dummy. They weren't the
real pac Man. No, it weren't, at least I don't
think so. I mean them video game guys ain't real,
are they? Hunhy teenage mutant ninja Turtles, Madonna and a
jog of a girdle. A five foot two freaking's tiny
egg got two fresh and grabbed behind men.
Speaker 6 (38:47):
Bunky monkey Turtle's the junkie in my trunky. I'm not
that kind of girl.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Not to dirm, well, Diary, I got a skin that
all some god named Crazy. Frank's coming over says that
the share is talking smack about me. Let's see if
Shirt believes in life after all?
Speaker 6 (39:11):
Blooper I as.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Until next time, x is and ups Mary.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
God morning, A big show is on your radio. I'll
tell you I've never seen anything like it in my life.
Speaker 9 (39:32):
The sun's belly up. There's full deverywhere flying through the air,
bites and bullets and hands. People eat them with their fingers,
their feet. Other people's feet. They doesn't believe it. With
the spreads, you can't imagine chicken and biscuits and whole
pigs and a great big sticky. That's what it's like
at the jun Boy of Bully Pig Show. It's a
buffet from stuff to finish. There should be a coming charge.
Speaker 6 (39:51):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 9 (39:52):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You fainted like cleaning bill over my head.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
You canna eat that.
Speaker 6 (40:00):
There at.
Speaker 8 (40:02):
Ending to
Speaker 18 (40:07):
Them from tw
Good morning and rolling to the Big Show on the radio. Hello,
this is Robert Goulay and you're listening to the pride
of the Red States, John Boy and Billy right here
on the Big Show. Some enchanted money. You may hear
the Big Show.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Where's my big bag? Who can't be topical? Goad to
(01:01):
do coca ricos?
Speaker 3 (01:04):
That what the French, they would say, take to coccos.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Making the sound of the rooster. She's so cute.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
I don't know which one of you is going to
end up in the trap.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Yes, we have spanned the globe here on the Big
Show over the years.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
And sometimes the globe has spanned us.
Speaker 5 (01:31):
We don't need to practice.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
France came to America, so that was that was all.
We went to Japan the Minister of Tourism. As we
were doing our part.
Speaker 4 (01:45):
I thought you were doing like a history lesson of America.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I was like, what it was all about the Big Show.
It's all about the Big Show. Range you ought to
know that?
Speaker 5 (01:54):
Oh boy excited and y'all brought me on full time.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
I was like, gonna travel.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
Now. I had to pull her out in the parking
lot A couple of times.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Schooler and.
Speaker 5 (02:09):
We are trapping.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
And today we are celebrating when we did the Big
Show from the White House. Yes, we were in the
White House. Then what was imageur you looked the years,
it was a George Bush.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It was w that's right.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Yeah, man, that's when we met Sean Hannity. You know,
we said he was a big fan of the Big Show. Man,
cool Sean, do real.
Speaker 5 (02:34):
Good for the picture of you guys with Ashcroft.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
Yeah, man around like three Yeah, who's no wild Democratic
cage and down there, well we'll always your hands about that.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
That's married to Mary Matlin and she was there.
Speaker 7 (02:51):
Yeah, so anyway you.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Looked at up.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
But I'm telling you this because we're celebrating that because
they began construction on the White House on this day
and history, and we started thinking about our trip there.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
So yeah, that was another trip. I helped line up
all the guests for you to talk to, and I
just had to hear about it.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Well, we needed somebody back on the ground, Tata to
take care of them.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Yeah, that was.
Speaker 8 (03:18):
All right.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
We're going good time.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
We gonna get to it and get the winning beginning,
all right, the brand new week of broadcast. All right,
we're way back cram it big shows on the radio.
Good morning, I got the big show on the radio.
Get our first prize pack for you to win as
a LS Tractor prize pack clues, hat, stainless steel insulated tumbler,
and a key chain. Go to LS Tractor USA dot
(03:42):
com find your local dealer, Learn why customers start blue
and stay blue?
Speaker 2 (03:48):
All right man?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Three days in History where We're gonna categories. Nineteen thirteen,
the first air passenger flight is made from Albany, New
York to New York City.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Nineteen thirty.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Wilbur and Orville was already done with their deal out
to the Kitty Hawk.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
Apparently I fell down that dune. I'll tell you that
story later.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Nineteen fifty seven, Being Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced America
to a brand new car, the Edsel. The Ford Motor
Company sponsored a one hour musical special with the two
superstars to promote its new EDXEL model.
Speaker 9 (04:27):
That wasn't cheap.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
It wasn't the Edseel's fault. That it was a great car.
So it's just that's what what was the deal?
Speaker 8 (04:34):
Well?
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Was it just had it had so many highly advanced
features that people were like, well, I don't need a
car knows that.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
It's like my grandad. I ain't gonna wear a Saint
belt for getting the wreck. Yeah, car, catch on fire.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I'm going to get thrown clear. That's what my dad
always said. So anyway, you had the Edzel model was
just over by his head. Back in nineteen fifty seven,
all right. Finally, nineteen seventy eight the British Columbia Auction,
the Houston tavern owner Jim Anderson paid three thousand for
(05:08):
a pair of Bloomers once worn by Queen Victoria.
Speaker 4 (05:13):
Wow, now there's a pervert.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
There are history's most expensive used Bloomers.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Does all right? But there you go.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
There's a categories one eight hundred big shows. He told
Free Love, we'll play out Burst next good Monday morning,
(05:59):
ain't going and half bad here in this October to
thirteenth and our feature track from the Makes Your Bet
Box Here on Columbus Day, comparing Christopher Columbus with John
Boy Randy's humor, He words, Columbus, we'll get into your
Columbus ideas.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
All right, now, let's.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Get ups let's play upburst.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
It's the game that anyone can win.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
John Boy Billy gave the prizes from the big prize
being Let's go. He contested number one.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
This should really be a lot of fun when you're
playing upburst, have a y.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
Up and guest time. You have the best time level
big shots.
Speaker 10 (06:55):
Pat's say hey the school from door chat Stairs, South Carolina.
Speaker 8 (07:10):
Martin Stu, good morning, John boy.
Speaker 11 (07:15):
Man.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
How are what?
Speaker 5 (07:19):
How in the hell are you?
Speaker 8 (07:26):
I'm not that bad in the vocabulary. Okay, I got you.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah man, I'm getting them forgetting Yeah, loud headphones for
fifty years. Yeah yeah, kids stay in school, all right,
let's get see.
Speaker 8 (07:42):
It happened and I did stand in front of a
lot of loud music.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
So there you go, sitting in loud music. You know, guns,
you know, it kind of builds up over the years. There,
white tone, yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
You know, and pretending your death for like twenty five years,
you know, gets gets old. Well, Stu, check out the
John won'billy facebook page if you the news story can
get my reference. Uh, Stu, We're gonna get you through
these three categories.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
You ready to go, buddy, I'm as ready as I
can be.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Well, let's do three things that carry passengers.
Speaker 8 (08:24):
Ready go man, airplane, uber muscles.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, all right, Stu. Three things in a vehicle, ready
to go.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
Let's see a steering will a seat?
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay, break that's only can think about got hung up.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
From you know, he's never been inside the car.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
Stu, Here we go, buddy. You give us for the wind.
Three things sold at an auction, Ready go.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
At the auction.
Speaker 3 (09:10):
Bloomers.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
Yeah, that's two. You know if you got it like that.
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Rend Stow took a little help, buddy, but we got
you to You got the big old LS tractor prize pipe.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
We appreciate you listening and playing with us this morning.
Speaker 8 (09:32):
Don boy, you take care and I'll listen to you
all every morning religiously.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
You are the man. Stew hang on our girl, Jackie?
Speaker 8 (09:38):
All right, Jackie, all right? I mean dom boy.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Did I buy the many hour Tobbyo news? Little Robert
Earl game get ready?
Speaker 8 (09:54):
Uh not?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Swerves from Bunday mornings ain't long in a minute?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
Good morning, there's a big show on the radio. Happy
birthday to the.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
United States Navy two hundred and fifty years old. So
proud to have lie y'all listen to big shoviny years.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Man.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
It's so awesome.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
You see President Trump Millennia celebrating.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
With the Navy over the wiki.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
May we got us a hot First Lady Award. I'm
telling you what, Wow, We'll go man back to the
Navy way to go after Birthday in fifty years.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Let's me get background. Monday Morning song.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Y'all reg to sing along Robert Earl Keine.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
That's done by Robert Earl Keane. Is being lyinging up
at your studio.
Speaker 12 (11:20):
Sometimes I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 11 (11:25):
Come on, Jack and get Sometimes on my days are
filled with right as I traveled down last bad things
ain't going my way because there's always.
Speaker 13 (11:44):
Someone swirming in my line. You keep swiming in the
line and it's causing lots of.
Speaker 14 (11:54):
Thingger I'm a honking on my horror.
Speaker 12 (12:00):
I'm shooting you the flame.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
To keep switching on my bride lights.
Speaker 8 (12:08):
Just too dim to.
Speaker 14 (12:12):
When you're swerving all lives pie way. You're running someone
off the ride.
Speaker 11 (12:20):
The day Joe, Why I thought I never never.
Speaker 12 (12:28):
Could love another? How else could I feed? But bowing
you run into.
Speaker 11 (12:38):
Me, I can't believe I could not see her.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I'll tank up the ones at the waiting.
Speaker 13 (12:49):
To keep swarming in my life, just causing lots of bames.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
I'm a cussing out your name. I'm a shifting.
Speaker 6 (13:02):
He's a fight.
Speaker 12 (13:04):
I keep switching on my briding lights.
Speaker 8 (13:08):
But you're just too dimpty.
Speaker 14 (13:10):
Now when you're swerving all lights o by, you're running
someone off the ride.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Driving a big show. Good morning, it's a big show
(13:54):
on the radio. Action Hello, Fred, you're.
Speaker 15 (14:00):
All paled Burnburn Here with another sinus shriveling edition of
John Boy and Billy Playhouse. Today's episode Wanna Bet. As
our story opens, a study lawyer is talking on the
phone as she boards her flight to Houston.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
I know, I know. I'll get off the phone before
take off.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
I know the law.
Speaker 5 (14:19):
I'm a lawyer. I'll run along, toss some peanuts to
the monkeys and coach. Sorry, Marla, the help was interrupting me.
Of course, I'm sitting at first glass. Who's sitting next
to me? I don't know. Let's see. Oh my, it's
some hay seed in a maga hat. I'm gonna have
some fun. I'll call you when I land. Hello, I
(14:41):
think I'm sitting next to you.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Oh no, you ain't.
Speaker 15 (14:45):
What do you mean you ain't sitting You're standing next
to me?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
This is gonna be fun?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
What was that I said?
Speaker 5 (14:52):
You look like fun?
Speaker 8 (14:53):
Ooo?
Speaker 15 (14:54):
You got that right, Sugar breeches. Just wait till that
Drake Carr comes around.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
You ain't seen then yet.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
I can't wait. I'm Lily Peace, and you are.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Claude till more in the flesh. Please to meet you,
Miss Lily.
Speaker 5 (15:08):
You always fly first class?
Speaker 15 (15:09):
Oh shoot, no, they oversold the cheap seats and I
got bumped up here Lucky, I guess lucky.
Speaker 5 (15:15):
Huh?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Say?
Speaker 5 (15:16):
Would you like to play a game?
Speaker 2 (15:18):
What like spin the bottle?
Speaker 5 (15:22):
Maybe later? Let's ask each other questions. If you don't
know the answer to my question, you owe me five dollars.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Woo, I don't know five dollars. That's in my state.
Speaker 5 (15:33):
Yeah, but if I can't answer your question, I'll pay
you one hundred dollars.
Speaker 15 (15:38):
A c note.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
H bang, you got a deal. Fare away.
Speaker 5 (15:42):
Let's start with an easy one, shall we. What's the
distance from the Earth to the moon.
Speaker 15 (15:47):
Ooh, dang uh, Well it's got to be more than
a couple hundred miles.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, shoot, I can't say for sure. Dang namit.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Here's five dollars.
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Thank you. Now it's your turn.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Okay, let's see.
Speaker 15 (16:00):
Uh, okay, what goes up a hill with three legs
and comes down with four?
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Oh okay, let me think you got me here you go, Holley.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
Do mister Franklin were going to Applebee's tonight.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
So what was the answer?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Hell, I don't know. Here's five bucks.
Speaker 15 (16:25):
We hope you've enjoyed John Boy and Billy playhouse.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Oh miss Lily.
Speaker 5 (16:29):
Oh undo them?
Speaker 4 (16:32):
Top three buttons.
Speaker 15 (16:33):
Who tune in next time when we'll hear Lily's friend
Marla trying to raise her bail money.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
Say hey, big man, let me hold a dollar. Good
morning is a big show on radio.
Speaker 16 (16:48):
Helly you Lindsey premise here when I'm on mid side
of the pond, I get my daily dous of culture
and edification every morning from these two delightful lands, John
Boy and Billy right here on the big show. You know,
I hate to break it to you boys, but where
I come from, you're all Yankees.
Speaker 2 (17:07):
Who well, I thought it was funny.
Speaker 8 (17:12):
H good morning.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
It's a big shaw on the radio, celebrating today when
we got a special limitation to broadcast from the White House.
It took a big sod to the White House. Long
bucking wouldn't say what round two thousand during the bushitting
the Bush administration was when it was celebrating with memories.
Speaker 2 (18:08):
We start that one is top ten, Liz, go right out.
Speaker 6 (18:12):
The top ten things John Boy has said since arriving
on the ground. Number ten? Can I use the bathroom?
Number nine? Is it okay if we pulled the big
show grill right up to the gate here? Number eight?
Y'all still give out those badges like the one Elvis got?
Numbers six? You sure I can't use the bathroom?
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Really had good?
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Number five?
Speaker 6 (18:38):
Any old interns laying around y'all aren't using number four?
Why does everybody keep asking to see my press pass.
Speaker 7 (18:47):
Umber?
Speaker 6 (18:48):
Can we get some extra badges for our kids? Number two?
Can you see the statue.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Of liberty from here?
Speaker 6 (18:57):
And the number one thing John Boy has said while
on the One House grounds, Can somebody get me some
more toilet paper?
Speaker 3 (19:06):
Let me leave right here taking ease of their forest dump.
Good morning, got the big show on the radio. Jeff
Pillars runs down some stuff from our White House broadcast
here on our special Monday morning show on the Navy's birthday.
Coming up, We're gonna play John Boy Jeopardy and we
(19:26):
will play for a Happy Herd prize bag is hunting season, y'all.
Happy Herd makes top quality attract instrumenterals and feed for deer,
bear and hogs. Tack on a Happy Herd banner at
the Big Show dot Com Enter Coach JBB you'll get
tim percent off at checkout Wildlife. George up moving around,
and we got some herd going, so I might have
(19:47):
some cool pictures before too much longer.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Okay, gotta wait for the season to come in.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Just a little bit, just a little bit idea, So
hang on, we'll play for that end minutes.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
But back to fun at the White House.
Speaker 17 (20:01):
Yeah, yeah, wasn't too long ago. How boys, Washington DC,
the nation's capital, inside.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
The belt Loop?
Speaker 6 (20:10):
I think you mean inside the belt Way.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
You weren't with me and Jackie in the hot tub.
Speaker 17 (20:17):
Let's bring Jeff Pillars in to read from his NARI
on our latest Big Show trip.
Speaker 9 (20:25):
Charlotte twelve forty five PM. Arrive at the aviation for
one pm takeoff. Surprise to see John Boy pacing in
front of the terminal screaming about us being late. Randy
points out that Johnny has not yet set his watch
back stupid. This is going to be a long trip.
Twelve fifty Randy hands out suit bags containing our uniforms.
(20:46):
Johnny hands his bag to me, saying his hands are full.
Twelve fifty one PM Johnny heads for the plane, an
umbrella in one hand, a sandwich in the other. Twelve
fifty five make the biggest mistake of the trip by
trying to set in the bathroom seat on the plane.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Not good.
Speaker 9 (21:02):
Either this is a smaller plane than last time, or
my booty is bare. Probably the latter had to suffer
the indignity of Marty laughing at him. One six PM
land in Washington. Get hustled by John Boy into carrying
his bag again. Two one pm. Arrive at the hotel.
Bellman gets hustled into carrying Johnny's bags. I get hustled
(21:23):
into tipping him. Three pm. Crew meets in hotel lounge
to discuss the show. Jackie bonds with some of her
peeps over here.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Okay, and you know and who the baby daddy is.
Speaker 9 (21:42):
Three h nine pm. Everyone orders appetizers except John Boy.
He says he's not hungry, but proceeds to go from
plate to plate for just a taste. Put three twenty
seven pm, the crew decides to order dinner since they
didn't get to eat their appetizers. John Boy takes a pass,
saying he's full. Dinner comes see appetizer scenario. Three thirty
(22:04):
seven PM. Accidentally gets seated next to Rayford, who begins
his brown liquor reminiscing about his days in Washington. Five
thirty pm. Interrupt Rayford to go to the bathroom. Five
point thirty two pm. Come back to find someone else
in my seat. Rayford is still talking. Take the chance
to make my getaway. Five forty five pm. Decide to
(22:27):
go to the hotel hot tub. Find Johnny in his
boxer shorts bobbing in the bubbles. Then I noticed the
hot tub.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
Is not on. Go back to room, order dinner and
go to bed.
Speaker 9 (22:41):
Wednesday morning, five point fifteen arrive in lobby to leave
for the White House. Find Johnny angrily pacing in the
lobby yelling about everyone being late. Finally, Randy resets Johnny's
watch for him.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Stupid Randy.
Speaker 9 (22:54):
Five eighteen am get security in an unlocked bar so Rayford
can go along. Have to force him to got his
conversation short with that bust of Napoleon.
Speaker 8 (23:04):
Nineteen.
Speaker 9 (23:05):
Ryford picks up where he left off with Napoleon with
the limo driver. I get hustled into carrying Johnny's bag again.
Five point twenty two. Arrive at the front gate of
the White House. Marty's underwire man's ear sets off the
metal detect Now I get to laugh at him. Cruse
submits to strip search Billy's Everyone knew Billy had a
tattoo of Marvin the Martian, but did not realize he
(23:26):
had it there.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Six am show begins.
Speaker 9 (23:30):
Randy reminds us that if we ruin this for him,
he's going to kill us all. Seven point fifteen Jackie
hooks up with Condoleeza Rice over here. Okay, and you
must be talking about Clinton. Ten am show ends. Johnny
takes all the credit. I get to carry his bag again.
Ten forty five am. Take the White House tour tour
(23:53):
guy tells us he's a member of the Secret Service.
Everyone wonders how bad he had to screw up to
get busted down to tour dude praying nothing bad happens
with him in charge. Ten fifty four am John Boy
cockily asked the tour guide if they used to use
candles in the chandeliers before they had electricity. I actually
think I heard a pin drop. Eleven twenty am. Pack
(24:17):
up and head back to the hotel. Crew has to
help lug heavy broadcasting equipment back to the van. Johnny
helps carries umbrella and sandwich. Eleven thirty. Get back to
the hotel. Run to room. Marty carries Johnny's back. This
time Rayford strikes up conversation with the concierge. Hour and
(24:37):
a half later, one pm. Rayford is still talking, but
the concierge has left. Get in the limo to leave
for the airport. We can tell Johnny's watch is fixed.
He's late. Two fifteen. Get back on the plane. Make
Berry sit on toilet seat. He has plenty of rooms.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
Three thirty.
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Get back to Charlotte.
Speaker 9 (24:59):
Get stuck carrying Johnny's bag button, tag it in the
terminal and put it on another plane. Shut off cell
phone and speed home. Four point thirty. Get home and
immediately read the want ads. It's a seat opening for
baggage handler. Cry go to bed. Have nightmare about Billy's tattoo.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
It was magical, wed.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Those good memories. Yeah, I love that all right, And
we've got more. I go for it right now. Let's
play John boy Jeopardy. Let's just jump right in here
with a Happy Herd prize pack. In the nineteen sixties,
Catholics were still not allowed to eat meat on Fridays,
so McDonald's rolled out the hula burger. It was a
(25:44):
toasted bun with melted cheese, mustard cuts up, a pickle,
all topped off with a grilled slice of this.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
What is a McRib because you know that ain't meat.
Speaker 3 (25:56):
What y'all got one eight hundred big shoe you told
free line, We go to We got the Winter. We
play John Boyd Jeopardy. Next, Good Morning, there's.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
A Big Show on the radio. We got that feature
track from the Big Show bid box here on.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Columbus Day, comparing Christopher Columbus with God more. There's for
keywords Columbus in the bid box at the Big Show
dot Com. There right now, let's play Oh Yeah live
across America. It's John Boyd Jeopardy and now your host
he says, it's a shame nothing is built in America anymore.
Speaker 4 (26:59):
I mean he bought a news me and it says
built in tuoner. He don't even know where that is
shotting boy.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
As they hated Tommy out of Kingsport, Tennessee. Good morning, Tommy,
good morning. Well hello Tommy with a smiley face. Eye yeah,
big eyes and asley big eye, a little tall. Okay,
workshops some stuff later on, Tyler, Are you taking notes?
Speaker 5 (27:30):
How's that charisma working on you?
Speaker 2 (27:34):
Tommy?
Speaker 3 (27:34):
You got the first shot at John Boydjeverary this morning.
Let's just go with that. So it was nineteen sixties.
Catholics were still not allowed to eat meat on Friday.
So McDonald's rolled out the Hula burger burger. There's a
toasted bun with melted cheese, mustard, cuts up a pickle,
and it's all topped off with a grilled slice of this.
Speaker 5 (27:57):
Well, let's see, I think I go with a pineapple.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
A pineapple. Let's see.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
Yeah, ground pineapple is good. That was good. I'm started
liking it on pizza like that.
Speaker 4 (28:17):
You know what, I have tried it on pizza. It's
not bad.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
You got I got a ride ingredients surrounded.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Hey, well wait tell you nothing, Tommy, look at you,
big old price back head the king Sport.
Speaker 2 (28:26):
Congratulations, thank you the first time.
Speaker 3 (28:29):
Alrighty yeah man, pineapple good, that's good. That would always
have that woman fish out of Costa Rica a lasuneos
like that.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Always have that fresh on the boat. Cut it up,
that's good, old pine.
Speaker 7 (28:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:44):
Once you get a grill going, you go down anyway. Okay,
I'm getting hungry. Okay, we're hungry. That's all right. We've
got to plan out here, little pineapple with an eye.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
Using it time capsule all the other job, no challenge,
other fruits.
Speaker 18 (29:08):
M This is the award winning John Boy and Billy
(29:36):
Big Show, the South's number one export.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Man.
Speaker 7 (29:49):
Hello, hoyt oh, my life.
Speaker 17 (29:51):
I want to fight about not right now, Hod, I'm
not feeling too well, John, Billy.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
Here, Johnny, don't there he goes again?
Speaker 4 (30:06):
Boy, don't make him laugh?
Speaker 7 (30:08):
Laugh boy, all right, all right, I'll do my fan Okay.
Not a good thing to say when we're getting ready
to do a phone call.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Yeah, well, we just want to check in with did
you see how you doing?
Speaker 5 (30:17):
Man? I care?
Speaker 8 (30:21):
I was like, what what? Why?
Speaker 6 (30:22):
What's wrong?
Speaker 7 (30:23):
Bout stuck in this trailer out in the sticks with
Debrett and his daddy.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Oh Man, Reid's still living with you guys, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (30:30):
Him and wife number six going through that message divorce
man sleeping on the couch. She he gets back on
his feet.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Never did patch it up with her.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
She had a lot of growing up to do. And
when I say a lot, I mean low. You know
he likes him young. Yeah, yesterday he's on the phone
arguing with her about it. Who gets the easy bait?
Speaker 2 (30:49):
Young? Well, tell him we hope everything turns out all right?
What what else is happening?
Speaker 5 (30:56):
No I care.
Speaker 7 (30:58):
They had a weird experience yesterday morning when he pulled us.
A couple of long chairs up in the front yard
were sitting there and having a cup of coffee before work.
He's kind of watching the traffic go by here on
the highway, and this big old truck with a state
emblem pulls up across the road and fella gets out
with a shovel and he digs in the hole. It's
(31:18):
about two feet across and about three feet deep, and
he gets back in the truck. Well, the truck just
sits there for I don't know, four or five minutes,
and finally this fella gets out of the passenger side
of the truck with another shovel. He walks over to
the hole and fills it back up with dirt and
then he gets back in the truck. And here's where
(31:39):
it gets real weird. They pull up about twenty feet
and stop, and the first fella gets out again, digs
another hole like the first one, and gets back in
the truck. Five minutes go by, second fella gets out.
I have a dog lot if he don't fill that
second hole back up, and then he gets back in
the truck. They pull up another twenty feet, same thing again.
Why said they did this war or five times while
(32:01):
we sat there watching him, And finally curiosity got the
best of me. I walked across the road, knocked on
the window of the truck and he rolls it down.
I said, excuse me there, buddy, Me and my friend
I've ever been watching you for the past fifteen minutes.
It's god all stunk. Just what in the hell are
you boys doing? He says? Wow? Where is the governor's
highway beautification project? And the fella that plants the trees
(32:25):
called in sick today. I hope I didn't kill you
that I tried. I tried to rain it in a
little bit and say you wouldn't. Actually it's not gonna
run you gonna yeah, probably, Well, well you tell him.
(32:46):
I said, you know what you mean. Y'all all came
in sight of the.
Speaker 18 (32:59):
Boy.
Speaker 19 (32:59):
You want to say some time the next time you're
in a DVD, don't bother rewinding it. The way I
see it, it's the next guys property.
Speaker 18 (33:11):
Good morning radio, dumb right.
Speaker 2 (33:41):
Good morning.
Speaker 3 (33:42):
It's a mix show on the radio on Monday, October
to the thirteenth.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Around we read it, okay together, around.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
And now an entry into the diary of Gary Busey's
cousin Mary.
Speaker 5 (34:01):
Dear Diary, this is Mary Fucy. Cousin Gary weren't able
to make the entry this week. He's taking a little
break courtesy of the state. Now the Charlie Sheen's Sweet
at the Charlie Napier Correctional Facility. I don't know all
the details, but it seems like I heard he got
into a pissing contest with wee man from Jacks. They
(34:25):
should have called him wee wee man. Do you get it, Diary,
I mean a literal pissing contest. They had little Filler
hit the road as soon as he seed the blue lights,
but cousin Gary, well, he's too prone to stop midstream.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Put a tarp on the tepee type two pea pee.
My drawers are wet and I feeling seafe. Swimming up
streams is like on otter. I guess cousin Gary's making water.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Splitch blenched host taking a bleak just until the po
po showed up.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Head drop non poot po So diary. I'm in charge
of cosa debuty for a spell. Came all the way
out from Tosa, Oklahoma. Yeah, tain't never been to LA before.
I wanted my fat brother Moosey Beausey to tag along,
(35:18):
but he's in a pie eating contest, so I'm on
my own here. Los Angeles is a different sortie place
that calm. You have to look pretty hard to find
a weirdo. I mean, we got plenty of rednecks, Jehovah
witnesses and doorder or tupperware salesman, but not many weirdos.
(35:42):
I tell you out here, you can't fart without crop
dust and some ding dong with green hair, a ballerina
dress and a Daddy's girl two shirt or fake boobs
and face pierced to the Bejesus belt. And the women
are even worse thrine. What in the world is that
a girl either? That a rabbits, squirrel things a lot,
but no damn thankye. I think gonna pass on this
(36:03):
ganggay bangay diary trying to get a bike to eat
out here. No frosty creams, no golden corrals, and the
dennis alsome like ransid jalapenos and expired vesels. I mean,
(36:26):
the Indians own all the Mexican restaurants, and the Greeks
own the Indian restaurants, and the Mexicans own the Chinese joints,
and the Vietnamese on the donut shops.
Speaker 6 (36:33):
All right, by wait, I got gag gama.
Speaker 5 (36:38):
I just gave up on all that and decided to
look for a good wainer back home. We got der
winter Snitzels, wiener world Chef's Walley's wiener wigwam and of
course the famous handsome whistling waners. Eat one of those,
and they gotcha, gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 6 (36:55):
Oh gorgeous.
Speaker 5 (37:00):
Out here, they told me they call him Glizzlies.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
Glizzies.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
I mean that sounded to me like it was being
set up for a joke or something.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
Just my luck.
Speaker 5 (37:08):
I asked some bird where I can get a Glizzie,
And next thing you know, I'm in a bathtub, little
of ice of the motel five and missing a kidney.
Oh not interested now. So I was driving my rental
car around the city looking for a wonderful wiener. As
I do, Hey, we're get a girl from out of town.
Find a tasty wiener. I finally asked that guy who's
(37:30):
standing on the corner, and before the cops toted him off,
he gave me his phone number. Oh, I hope he
gets out for I hope he gets out for I
gotta leave because I still ain't got that waner. No, sir,
wier Listen, old.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
La, what a waitness?
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Brother?
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Day eight hours later and no tube steak.
Speaker 5 (37:46):
Somebody give a girl a break, y'all, y'all wait, Okay,
I'll take up a ridle. What I heard from cousin
Gary that celebrity is was everywhere. The only place I
saw any was out in front of that big old
Chinese theater. I'll be damned if I know why more
(38:07):
people wasn't there. I mean, I met Batman, Superman, Captain
Jack Sparrow. Hell, even SpongeBob was there, holler than I
thought he'd be, and he was a smoke or too.
I tried to shake Superman's hand, but he wouldn't put
down that bottle of Thunderbird. I then Kryptonit ain't his
only weakness. I even met a pack man. I might
(38:30):
be from Tulsa, but I'm no dummy. They weren't the
real pac Man. No, it weren't, at least I don't
think so. I mean them video game guys ain't real,
are they? Hunhy teenage mutant ninja Turtles, Madonna and a
jog of a girdle. A five foot two freaking's tiny
egg got two fresh and grabbed behind men.
Speaker 6 (38:47):
Bunky monkey Turtle's the junkie in my trunky. I'm not
that kind of girl.
Speaker 5 (38:52):
Not to dirm, well, Diary, I got a skin that
all some god named Crazy. Frank's coming over says that
the share is talking smack about me. Let's see if
Shirt believes in life after all?
Speaker 6 (39:11):
Blooper I as.
Speaker 5 (39:15):
Until next time, x is and ups Mary.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
God morning, A big show is on your radio. I'll
tell you I've never seen anything like it in my life.
Speaker 9 (39:32):
The sun's belly up. There's full deverywhere flying through the air,
bites and bullets and hands. People eat them with their fingers,
their feet. Other people's feet. They doesn't believe it. With
the spreads, you can't imagine chicken and biscuits and whole
pigs and a great big sticky. That's what it's like
at the jun Boy of Bully Pig Show. It's a
buffet from stuff to finish. There should be a coming charge.
Speaker 6 (39:51):
I'll tell you.
Speaker 9 (39:52):
The only thing missing napkins. I guess that's what your
shirt is for. You fainted like cleaning bill over my head.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
You canna eat that.
Speaker 6 (40:00):
There at.
Speaker 8 (40:02):
Ending to
Speaker 18 (40:07):
Them from tw
Hosts And Creators
Billy James
Johnny "John Boy" Isley
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