Modern Love

Modern Love

For 18 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast. Each week, host Anna Martin brings you stories and conversations about love in all its glorious permutations, dumb pitfalls and life-changing moments. New episodes every Wednesday. Listen to this podcast in New York Times Audio, our new iOS app for news subscribers. Download now at


December 1, 2023 13 mins

Sonja Falck reads her Modern Love essay, “Our 34-Year Age Gap Was Showing."

To hear our conversation with Sonja, listen to the episode: “Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn’t Matter, Until It Did.”

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Sonja Falck was immediately attracted to Colin, the professor who was renting her a room. He was intellectual and lively, with bright eyes that drew her in. It was only after they were already dating that Sonja found out Colin’s age: He was 34 years older than her.

Their age gap didn’t give them pause. Sonja and Colin got married, had kids and built a fulfilling life together. But when Colin reached his 80s, and Sonja was in her mid...

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Eric Darnell Pritchard reads their Modern Love essay, “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love."

To hear our conversation with Eric, listen to the episode: “Two Boys on Bicycles, Falling in Love.”

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November 22, 2023 23 mins

Eleven-year-old Eric Darnell Pritchard was a solitary kid. They preferred reading romance novels to playing sports, and watching soap operas to hanging out with the neighborhood kids. Although they were obsessed with love, they felt too different to find a romantic connection of their own.

Then, a cute boy moved in across the street. To Eric’s surprise, they both “like liked” each other. But when Eric told the wrong person about the...

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Jessica Slice reads her Modern Love essay, “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him."

To hear our conversation with Jessica, listen to the episode: “He Cared About Me, So I Broke Up With Him.”

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November 15, 2023 29 mins

When Jessica Slice started dating a man named David, there was a lot to like about him. They could nerd out about books and board games, he was thoughtful and kind. 

But Jessica had a problem. The more caring David was, the more she recoiled. "He’s the greatest!" She texted her sister. "But I doubt I’ll go out with him again." This wasn’t the first time she'd felt like fleeing from affection, but something about David made Jessica h...

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November 8, 2023 29 mins

Rick Reiss was scared for his teenage son, Gabriel. Gabe was struggling with depression and mood swings, and no amount of therapy or medication seemed to work.

But when Gabe became violent, Rick wasn’t just scared for his son; he was scared of his son. Rick and his wife felt as if they had to do something drastic. So they made the decision to send Gabe to a wilderness therapy program.

Nearly 18 years later, father and son talk about ...

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November 3, 2023 11 mins

Christi Clancy reads her Modern Love essay, “Revenge of the Friend."

To hear our conversation with Christi, listen to the episode: “My Sweaty Revenge.”

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November 1, 2023 18 mins

Christi Clancy had been avoiding her best friend’s ex-husband. He’d unexpectedly left her friend for another woman. After supporting her friend through the pain and heartbreak, Christi couldn’t help but resent the ex-husband for all the damage he’d done.

So when the man walked into Christi’s spin class, she saw an opportunity to exact revenge in the best way she knew how: on a spin bike.

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Heather Sellers wrote her Modern Love essay in 2013, about reconnecting with her elderly, estranged father. Although their relationship was painful, Heather made sure that her last words to her father were “I love you.” And at the time, that felt like closure.

Now, 10 years later, Heather tells our host, Anna Martin, that she would write a completely different essay today. She sees her father, and herself, in a new light — and reali...

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Deanna Fei reads her Modern Love essay, “To Keep but Not Be Kept."

To hear our conversation with Deanna, listen to the episode: “What Does It Mean to Be a Kept Woman?”

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October 18, 2023 27 mins

Deanna Fei did not need a man. She was in her 20s, living in Shanghai on a Fulbright scholarship, writing her first novel: a book about fiercely independent Chinese women, very much like Deanna herself.

Growing up as a first-generation Chinese American, Deanna resented the way some men, specifically white men, looked down on her. She refused to be anyone’s fetish. By the time she arrived in Shanghai, she had sworn off dating white m...

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Susan Gelles reads her Modern Love essay, “Single, and Surrounded by a Wall of Men."

To hear our conversation with Susan, listen to the episode: “Don't Hide in the Bathroom Stall.”

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October 11, 2023 26 mins

Susan Gelles was a lawyer in her 30s who was too busy to find love. But after finally admitting that she was lonely, Susan did something that went against all her best instincts. She started attending singles mixers.

On this episode, Susan shares her disastrous mismatches, awkward flirtations and the story of how she almost missed her chance to meet the love of her life.

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Khalid Abdulqaadir reads his Modern Love essay, “The Polygraph Test That Saved My Marriage." 

To hear our conversation with Khalid, listen to the episode: “Have You Ever Kept a Secret From Your Wife?”






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Khalid Abdulqaadir’s life was full of secrets. He started keeping them when he was a teenager, after his father was accused of an unimaginable crime. He didn’t want to explain his family history every time he started a new relationship. So his secrets followed him, even as he got married.

Many years later, Khalid was interviewing for a job in the U.S. government, and he was required to take a polygraph test. The examiner asked him a...

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August 2, 2023 25 mins

Samantha Joseph’s childhood was scattered with golden trips to California to visit her Aunt Gail. Aunt Gail was the cool aunt. She worked in Hollywood and befriended actors like Robin Williams, Mayim Bialik and the cast of “Friends.” And yet she was still relatable (she’d get on the floor and play like a kid).

One day, those trips to California stopped: Aunt Gail no longer wanted to see Samantha’s family. Samantha was devastated, an...

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August 2, 2023 12 mins

Samantha Joseph reads her Modern Love essay, “I Had to Stop Asking Why.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Samantha in the “Modern Love” podcast feed - the episode is called “I Needed David Schwimmer’s Help:. 

You can also read Samantha’s essay on the New York Times website here.

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Nell Stephens reads her Modern Love essay, “How I Lost the Financé but Won the Honeymoon.” You can listen to Anna’s interview with Nell in the “Modern Love” podcast feed. 

You can also read Nell’s  essay on the New York Times website here.

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Bored and in love, Nell Stevens found a hobby combing the internet and entering her name into online contests. But, when she actually wins a prize — a luxury honeymoon in India — her world falls apart: The man she thought she was going to marry breaks up with her.

She decides to go on the trip anyway.

On today’s show, the host Anna Martin talks with Nell about her fiancé-less honeymoon — and what she had discovered about herself by t...

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