MON PT 3: B2 gets hurt while riding on a snow mobile

Charlie surprised the other couples in Punta Cana. Capsule hotels. Rover talks about an ice bar in London and ski mobiles in Norway. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Remember if you stumbled and ball, We'll always be there
to pick you up, all.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Right after we laugh and post a picture of it
on social media.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Rover's Morning Glory, dumb At, she's coming up in a
few minutes. What do you have on the way to?

Speaker 4 (00:20):
Peter is really mad over a celebrity who gave gifts
of animals. I'll tell you who it is and what
the gifts were.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
All right, we'll get to that in just a moment. Charlie.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
When you went to Punta Khana and you were going,
a couple had gone there, and she said the husband
took the wife there and it's like, oh, it's just us,
and then other people start showing up.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Did you start showing up?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Did the other couple show up all at once like
a big surprise party, or did you like the one
couple comes through and they're.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Like, oh my god, I can't believe you're here. On
he did it like that?

Speaker 2 (01:01):
So he told her, I guess they So they got
there first, they got off the plane. And then when
they were at the airport, he goes, all right, rides
here and he looks over and the who's pointing to
is this other couple? And then the girlfriend's really surprised.
She goes, oh, my god, I can't believe he did this.
You invited another couple and he goes, yeah, where it's

(01:21):
just us four for this week, for this week or whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
She's like, Oh, this is so awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
And then I guess they got to the resort and
then another couple shows up, and she's surprised again. And
every time he kept lying saying that's it, nobody else
is coming. And it was actually a double I told
him because my dad I had canceled. I said I
can't come, so he didn't know I was. In the end,
he didn't even know I was coming either. I told
him I wasn't coming, and I wasn't and then I

(01:48):
we share our locations with each other, so I knew
exactly his room, where he's at at the resort everything.
So we get there, he doesn't know where there is,
his wife doesn't know. And then uh, they're all the
pool and I just walk in. I'm more in my
bath towel and I just take rip that off and
I've just got my red speedo on and then jump
in the pool next to him and say what's up.

(02:09):
And then I really pretty surprised because I especially him
because I told him I'm not coming, so you're not coming?

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Yeah? It was fun.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
So how many how many different couples total were there?

Speaker 3 (02:19):
Eight? Probably eight? I mean there's a lot.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Now do you think that she was excited about this
or was she looking forward to just having a romance
with her husband?

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Absolutely loved it?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Oh yeah, because I said the same thing because some
of the people he's inviting. I was like him, you're
gonna vite you? Sure she wants to hang out with me?
Because I'm going to be annoying. I'm gonna be annoying,
like I'm just unlimited drinks there?

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
So like, are you sure she's gonna be okay with this?
She's like yeah, and uh no, she absolutely loved it.

Speaker 5 (02:49):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
We took a big group photos. Surety printed out the
size of like, you know, huge massive prints. So she
was she couldn't have been more excited.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Uh there.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
So, how did you do with the unlimited free alcohol restort?

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Life? That does not It's not for me? It said, no,
it's not. What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (03:07):
I would like just unlimited food and unlimited drink.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
It's it's unlimited to a to a point. I guess
it's you can get as many as you want. So
you go to the the buffet is okay, it's okay.
There's a buffet there, all right, and you could go
there as much as you want. But then there's these
other restaurants that you have to kind of book you
have to go. I want to go to the Hibachi place. Well,

(03:33):
you can't just walk into the Hibachi place. You have
to plan that out earlier in the day. I don't
want to be hungry, I don't know what I'm I
don't want to have to plan this out like that.
So I didn't really like that because then we ended
up not getting into any of these other restaurants. It's
just buffet for five days or five meals in a row. Sorry,
I just ended up having really bad nachos. Just that's it,

(03:54):
because every the buffet was kind of crappy, and I'm like,
this sucks.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
The other thing I really really disliked, really really hated,
and got so mad about it.

Speaker 3 (04:07):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
We we get there like late later, it's like six
or seven. So we get there and we surprise the
other couples. Then we go back to our room, we
go to sleep, and then that was it. That was
it for the whole the first night. Nothing. Then we
wake up the next morning and we walk up to
the lobby and it's a really nice place. It's really nice.
Everything's nice, the pool's nice, everything's great. And this the

(04:31):
lady that checked us in and goes, oh, I'm so
glad you guys are here. I forgot to give you your
coupons and we go, what what do you mean. She goes, oh,
there's coupons for the spa and everything, and we go, oh,
thank you.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
So just handing some coupons.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
She goes, oh, and I'll give you one hundred dollars
gift card if you just take a tour of the place.
And but we're gonna give you free breakfast. And I'm like,
free breakfast. It's free breakfast every day every moment. I
could just go eat food. And she goes, oh, no, no,
she's go on this little tour and I get it

(05:04):
helps me out too. And then she's showing his pictures
of her son, and I'm like, okay, what is this,
Chris is all and she's she's loving, Oh cool, we're
getting free spot okay, and I go, I don't want
to do this.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
I'm trying to whisper like this is a scheme of
some kind. What do you mean they're gonna show us
the place? So we go on this tour of a
place I already just walked around. So they're like, here's
the pool and I was like, yeah, I was in
it last night. Here's this here's this place, Like okay, yeah,
I get it. And then you got to sit there
and you have to eat breakfast with a guy. There's
just a guy with you at breakfast and he's just

(05:36):
telling you about how great the resort is. Oh, what's
your dog's name? And he's just talking to this guy.
You're like, what is it? Why am I eating breakfast
with this guy at the buffet that? Why is he here?

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Then he takes you to a room and he goes
check this room out, this awesome room, and I go, yeah,
He's like, this could be yours if you become a
member of something.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
I'm like, this room could be yours.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
And I go the room I have I actually bought
was better than whatever this room is, So what are
you showing?

Speaker 3 (06:06):
Like?

Speaker 2 (06:06):
My room's right over there and it's the same hallway
I go, but it's pointing towards the ocean. This one's
not and go, what are you showing me? And then
he takes, he's take. It's taken forever for this is
full hour or ninety minutes. I'm wandering around with this guy.
I'm learning about his whole life. He's learning about my
dog's name. He's writing it down and its notes everything,

(06:27):
and then he sets you down. Then you get in
this room where it's like the closing room at a
in a car dealership.

Speaker 3 (06:33):
It does not look tropical anymore.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
We're sitting in a crappy chair, crappy wall, table, in
your face.

Speaker 3 (06:39):
White walls.

Speaker 2 (06:40):
He's got an iPad out and he's going, now, I
want to show you all the different hotels we have.
And you're like, I don't. And if he's just going, oh,
we got this boy got this place. But we're also
connected to this place. But so if you've heard of
this place, we've also connected that. And you could stay
at this place as much as you want for a
week of every you go week only one thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
It's only be a thousand dollars to stay here.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
And I'm like, okay, and I say he's trying to
sign me up to become a member, and I'm like.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Go vacation club member or some time share. It's not
a time I don't think it's a timeshare technically, because
in a timeshare you own it and you only get
to use it once or twice a year or something.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
This was more you could use it, I think, unlimited,
but you got to pay this upfront cost. And then
I finally just stop. I go listen because I'm I'm
like wearing shorts. I want to be out at the
beach doing anything other than sitting in this room. I go,
how much? How much are we talking here? And he goes, well,
it's not that bad. It's only sixty eight thousand dollars.

(07:44):
And I go, I said, I don't know you're you're
talking to the wrong person.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Dollars.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
I go, no, no, no, no, you're talking the wrong This
is a big waste of your time.

Speaker 3 (07:56):
You don't even have to continue. Just stop.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
I'm walking out of here because I'm never you think
I'm just gonna because we ate breakfast together. I'm gonna
I'm gonna walk out and accidentally give you sixty eight
thousand dollars.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
And whoa, But today there's we have a deal today.
We went down all your lucky day. It's it's cheaper
today only.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
But I have to act now twenty seven thousand dollars
And I go.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Oh, yes, wow, I said, you're nuts if you think
he's like, well, think about it.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
If you're gonna spend that on vacations throughout the next
thirty years or something.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
I go, yeah, as it comes up, I don't want
to know.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
And I go, you're just wasting You've wasted everybody's time here.

Speaker 3 (08:33):
I'm never gonna give you. Well, you don't have to.
You only have to give me twenty five percent right now.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
And I go, no, I'm not getting you twenty seven
thousand dollars or whatever it was.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
And I was so mad, got it pissed me off.
I've already paid to be there. Leave me alone, don't
try to do the sales pitch. I was so pissed up,
that ruined. I was so mad about that for like hours.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Just what did you know what they were trying to
do before you went on this I didn't know tour.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Whatever you knew.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
They were, yeah, because they're like, here, if you go
on this tour, we'll give you one hundred dollars gift
card or something. I'm like, they don't do that for nothing.
There's some reason they're gonna do that. And then Crystal like,
what else do we have to do?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
And I go anything anything other than this, just the beach.
I don't want to be in a pressure, high pressure
sales pitch thing and the it's just so annoyed. God,
it was so annoyed. Never and then I'll never go
to those places again. If that's what you do when
you get there. I'm trying to relax.

Speaker 2 (09:32):
I can eat breakfast with some strange man and they're
just like he's just eat and I At one point
he said, how many times a day do you do?
It's like, oh, I have three or four breakfasts today
and I because you just off the threat and I'm like, gosh,
your life sucks, dude, just sucks.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Other than that nice place, food is kind of crappy.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
The drinks, all their glasses are slightly smaller than a
normal glass, so and I.

Speaker 3 (09:55):
Think, yeah, but they're like noticeably smaller. It's not like
a thimble or anything.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
But you're like, this is slightly smaller than what normal
glasses and the I could not catch them I couldn't
get a buzz off of the vodka sodas.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
You could not.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
I mean because you finish it and then you got
to go back to the bar and they're not going
fast because they're trying to keep you so you don't
actually get anything. They're trying their best to actually not
give it to you, and you get it, and then
by the time you walk away, you've already almost finished it.
And then you're like, this is the only way you
could actually get drunk or even get a buzz is
if you just drink beer. If you just drink beer

(10:33):
because it's unopened, can uh and you drink that, maybe
you could, but no, And just the food isn't They're good?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
They alcohol like the vodka.

Speaker 1 (10:42):
You think it's like the lower alcohol, like the lower percentage.

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Yeah, not only smaller glasses, but I think lower proof.
So I don't think. And also I like going out
and doing things like on vacation, like oh yeah, me too. Adventure.
That's my middle name. Adventure. Well, wander around, meet some people.
Not this place, there's no there's you're on you're in
the middle of nowhere. You're just sitting there on the
beach and there is three weird stands called Puta Kana,

(11:13):
Jason Penny, Pootakna, Macy's, and Potakna Walmart.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
And they're just these wooden stands, literally just huts that
they're just selling.

Speaker 3 (11:22):
Crap, and don't ever walk over there.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
Don't even make the mistake of walking up to them,
because they surround you and then you're stuck there some
guys trying to like jackals yes, and you're like, I'm like,
I don't even have money, so we don't have to
get this conversation started.

Speaker 3 (11:38):
Not doing it.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
I don't have anything, and they're like, don't worry, we'll
go get your money. Have this coconut. We'll open a
coconut for you. So anyways, that's it. That's that's all
you can do. You can go to those three huts
in by crap, just total garbage, or just sit at
the resort. And there's and I walked down this other
end of the beach till it ended, and it's like

(12:00):
there's some rocks and there was like a little hut
over there that had beer.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
But then that guy was kind of annoying.

Speaker 2 (12:07):
Because he kept trying to sell me fish but out
of his cooler, just a huge, weird looking growth. I'm like, no,
I don't want your weird fit, weird weird ugly shaped fish.
Uh yeah, not really for me. I like walk around
cities and stuff, and I don't know going. I mean,

(12:27):
there's there's like that seems that seems.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
I don't know. I like that.

Speaker 2 (12:33):
I don't like that word excursion. It makes whatever you're
doing sound really lame to me.

Speaker 3 (12:37):
I don't like.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
You didn't rent jet skis or something. You like the
jet ski.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
No, I don't even know why you do it. I
have to talk to the I just I don't know.
I just didn't like. I didn't like the whole thing.
It's not for me. It was nice, nice there, it
was cool, but I disliked my time. It's just there's
a couple of annoying things. But other than that, you
just kind of said, what else.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
I'm waiting to see the shirtless picture of Charlie on
a horseback there on the ship of the counter.

Speaker 3 (13:07):
I did see.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
I did.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
There was a horse guy at the beach with some
really depressing looking horses, and you're like that, I don't
after an elephant thing rover. It's like I see this,
these three horses that are tiny, little weird horses. You're like,
I don't. I don't ride that thing looks depressing. It's
tied up like with a one foot rope to a fence.
It's just not great. Doug, hold your shoozy stories. We'll

(13:32):
do a supersized shoozy. I've got to take a break.
We'll be right back on Rover Morning Glory.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Hang on, do you think it?

Speaker 1 (13:40):
They say it masturbating on the counter tub of toe Fooji.

Speaker 3 (13:45):
We're back to rovers Morning Glory.

Speaker 1 (14:07):
Juan in Texas says, this all makes sense now why
Deeter kept going to Punta khanat time after time after
time he was bamboozled by one of the time share
people like Charlie almost was only they got to him.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Think they think they sold them.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
No, no, when they told me that number again, the
number they told me was twenty seven thousand dollars, I'm like,
I don't know who you think you're talking to. I
just happened to be here. I'm not I don't have
that kind of money right now. Like I call, you
get paid off in four years or no? And I'm like,
I do the maths in front of him.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
I go you think after eating breakfast with me, I'm
going to give you like six hundred dollars a month
for the next four years.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
You're nuts, and then that's the only place in cold vacation.

Speaker 3 (14:51):
This is it. You've You've given them so much money.
I thought the price was gonna be.

Speaker 2 (14:55):
I knew what, Like I had an idea that what
was going on through halfway through, like I'm like, this
is more than just breakfast and a tour of the place.

Speaker 3 (15:03):
Because once he shows me the room, I start going.

Speaker 2 (15:06):
He's slightly mentioning the word member, but I don't really
understand because he doesn't come out and just say it
slow holds that whole thing. And then because I'm expecting
to go like four thousand dollars or something, that's the
number I was thinking in my head.

Speaker 3 (15:20):
So because I finally just said, all right, it stopped,
just give me the number. And then he first he
said whatever it was, sixty sixty eight sixty eight thousand
dollars ago, I'm just walking, gonna get up now.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
This is I don't We're not We're never going to
come to an agreement ever. I mean, because I'm thinking
maybe one thousand dollars, maybe I would give you for this,
but now I'm not thirty thousand dollars. I guess if
you you know, if you like that though, and I
didn't do the math because there's no way I'm paying that.

Speaker 3 (15:46):
But it might be a good deal. Actually it actually
might if you like.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
I don't know if it is or not, but I
don't know i'd want to be locked into going to
the same place for well, no, it's not the same
place for different resort own.

Speaker 3 (15:59):
It's a very large company.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
You know, there's only a couple of them, so you
could pick pick whatever one you think it is, and
they have resorts literally all over the world.

Speaker 3 (16:07):
So I was like, oh, that's not too bad.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
I mean, I don't know if the math really checks out,
but you're guaranteed one thousand dollars a week for a room,
nice room to a nice room, and I don't I
never got to the nomber. I mean, I just quite
asking questions at that point.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
Speaking of rooms, I ran into somebody when I was
over vacation before we went to Falbard. We were in London,
and because you could just fly there and then fly
up to Smallbard easy, you can't fly direct to Falbard obviously,
so Anyways, I ran into a we met some people

(16:47):
and there was a girl that was staying in a
capsule hotel and it's basically like a cocoon or something.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
It's just basically a bed.

Speaker 1 (16:59):
And I got to think, and I go, you know,
I felt so bad that Charlie won that trip to London.
Maybe Crystal could do a trip and stay in a
capsule hotel because it sounds like it sounds like they
put you in a coffin basically, and that's it. You
have no no bathroom, it's just a it's like it's
like the bunk on the bus essentially, I believe. Uh

(17:21):
and with shared bathrooms or something. I guess, I go,
what is that cost? And what did what did she say?

Speaker 3 (17:28):
It was? It was pretty cheap.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
I think it was like one hundred pounds a night,
which would be I don't know what one hundred and
thirty dollars.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
This is still expensive. I think this is a pick.
This is a capital hotel in London. So oh, I would.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
Be committed to.

Speaker 6 (17:49):
That paper partition or something you pull down and not
at natural door.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
Sometimes no they.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
Must say yeah they have something, because there looks like
there's a little lock there at the bottom of that.
So there's probably a like a door that slides down,
like a little miniature garage door.

Speaker 3 (18:03):
How do you get in and out of these things? Honestly,
I was in. You just crawl in, you literally crawl in. Yeah,
you die, you slide in?

Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah, I mean it looks like you have to contort
yourself to get it anyway.

Speaker 7 (18:16):
I think those are also pretty popular in Japan. Yeah,
they are, guys. Being at Japan is especially with all
the large seats like Nagasaki, Tokyo, Nakajima. Places like that
are very densely populated.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Uh huh.

Speaker 5 (18:32):
What about Fukushima, Fukushima, Hiroshima, places like that, Kyoto, Kyoko,
I mean every major, every major Yoto.

Speaker 7 (18:43):
I mean, I can't name every major Japanese city, but
they're all very densely populated. Yeah, I'll take you to
a place called Kokomo. Dug about the app.

Speaker 3 (18:51):
Here's another capsule hotel, just a video of it. Come
up with a solution they hope will solve the problem
of sharing the strangers. The first capsule hostel in the
case it looks like he's sleeping in a washing machine
or a catbox, is such a cool.

Speaker 8 (19:06):
It's a litter box with a curtain of understanding the hostel.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
No way, Oh god, that was a curtain and kind
So where do you shower?

Speaker 6 (19:15):
And it's like usually there's a shared bathroom down the hall,
or a shower like a communal.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
Something like this. I would never for I stayed. I
thought I was gonna.

Speaker 2 (19:26):
I rented something like this once that I thought was
going to be like this, but it was actually a
small room. I was at the airport and we're really
tired and made a long layover, so I rented a
sleeping room, just sleeping, and uh, it wasn't I said
this one was expecting I bought, but it was actually,
oh this looks awful.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
It was actually a little tiny room. Man, that's crazy.

Speaker 6 (19:47):
The only problem with that is getting up to go
to the bathroom and walking down the hall to the
bathroom instead of just rolling out of your bed in
the bathroom's right there. Because I don't mind this. Oh
you really do at your hotel is sleep?

Speaker 3 (19:59):
Anyways? You want to go adventure? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Man, no, I thine, I think a lot of dollars
or one hundred and thirty at night, Like I get it.
Hotels are expensive in big cities. I think I'd rather
spend the extra money on having an actual room with
a bathroom.

Speaker 6 (20:15):
And yeah, would you pay thirty what about thirty or
fifty bucks or something like that.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
If it was thirty.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Dollars, yeah, maybe I would consider that thirty bucks.

Speaker 3 (20:23):
But you'd have to be able to You couldn't use
a curtain.

Speaker 1 (20:26):
It would have to be like a little roll down
like that one that lock, that little rolled down garage door, because.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
What if you wanted to leave.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
So if you're staying there for three days you want
to leave something in here, you have to be able
to leave stuff there. So if it's just a curtain,
people are going to rifle through your stuff and steal it.

Speaker 3 (20:41):
No way. Oh so what if you're with somebody, Yeah,
to each get your own.

Speaker 6 (20:46):
Two one I watched I think it was in Japan
and it was separate and the husband and wife had
to sleep in separate areas.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
You're not saving any money. Then it's two hundred and
sixty dollars. It is like a thirty dollars thing. If
it was thirty bucks each maybe and then plus no
hotel pomkang exactly.

Speaker 3 (21:06):
M not sure exactly what that means. Can you explain
that to me?

Speaker 7 (21:11):
It means if you're in a capsule and orally, can
you only hold one person each?

Speaker 3 (21:16):
You guys can't.

Speaker 7 (21:16):
They can't get busy in a hotel in that that's
why you do on a regular hotel room with the
big double kingsized bed so you and your significant other
can get busy.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
So I I told you that I almost got a
divorce in Swallbard because we go out there. It's pitch black,
it's wintertime. It's negative ten degrees. My wife hates the cold. Uh,
and just I hate the cold. I don't know what
the hell I was thinking going up there. Uh, but
it was negative ten fahrenheit as a high. It was

(21:51):
negative like thirteen as a low. I mean, it's just
incredibly incredibly cold, and it's pitch black the entire time,
twenty four hours a day, pitch black.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
My wife is already crabby.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
We we went to a place it was closed, and
we had the It was like a JLR. I went
to a brewery, it was closed. We had to walk
an hour back to the hotel. Uh, in this freezing
cold snow.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
Like is it are you like on a trek or
is it like a sidewalk you could walk on.

Speaker 3 (22:22):
Uh there was like on the on a road.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Basically they don't have necessarily maybe they do they have
sidewalks and areas, but basically just walking on the road
it's paved though you're not just and you're not just
walking through snow banks. Yeah, I mean it's completely covered
in snow and ice the roads, and they don't really
they basically put sand down on top of the roads
to give traction. I guess they spread sand out a

(22:45):
little bit, so you're gonna be careful because you're walking.
You'll you'll you'll eat it. It's just just ice and well,
there was a concern of polar bears. That's the first
thing you mentioned about. It was everybody walks out. If
you walk around, you're supposed to have a gun. Is
the true. Outside the village limits, you have to have

(23:06):
a gun. But if you're walking around in the in
the village, you do not have to have a gun.
Because they claim that the polar bears don't come into
the village. I don't know how they get them to stop.
But uh, not only did we not see any polar bears,
we didn't see any Arctic foxes. We saw absolutely. We
saw no rain there. We saw absolutely nothing. Because we
saw people wenger.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
Because it's nighttime, you didn't see it, or because you
don't think they were around.

Speaker 8 (23:31):
You can't see it.

Speaker 3 (23:32):
I bet there are don't know the answer to that,
I don't. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Another question, when you're walking back from this brewery, do
you have flashlights?

Speaker 3 (23:41):
I don't know, Like, I don't know how far out
of the city you are. We weren't too far. There
were there was enough ambient lights.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Okay, so there's like a drum building, so yeah, they
would have street lights. And and uh, you know, the
moon is pretty bright. I guess, so you're going by moonlight.
But it was so she he was not having a
good time. And then and I had booked this snowmobile
excursion three hour snowmobile expedition. And she goes, let's cancel it.

(24:12):
I go, honey, I've already paid for this. I also
got my international driver's license.

Speaker 3 (24:17):
You need to use it. I need to use this thing.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
I paid twenty twenty eight dollars or something to triple
A to get a piece of paper that basically just
has my name and birth date on there. That's it.
That's the extent of it. It's just the handwritten. I
thought Charlie was lying when he got one of those things.
I God, it can't be that, Jakie. It's just a
piece of paper that they give you, a little booklet
that they staple together.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
And I'm pretty sure nobody would ever ask to see
in a fight. Because I was going to do it
to drive in Japan, and I was I changed my mind,
and once I saw how they drive, and I was like,
I can't do this. But there's no way that guy
would have asked when I went to go rent the car,
do you have an international driver's license? And I show
him this pamphlet and you'd go, I don't need What
is the hell? What are you showing that? What are
you talking?

Speaker 1 (25:00):
But they on the Snowmobile website says, listen, the United
States is not part of whatever motor treaty of nineteen
fifty eight convention or something, and you need to have
this international driver's thing license in order to drive a snowmobile.
I go, all right, let me pay the twenty eight dollars.

(25:22):
I think I paid a five dollars extra to expedite
it or something. And so I have this in my possession.
I said, honey, we are not canceling this thing. So
she was not looking forward to this at all. We
were bundled up, we have We did a dry run,
I think the night before we a night or two

(25:43):
before we left, we did a dry run where we
bundled up in our winter in our winter suits, and
we went to the ice bar at Winter Wonderland in
London and we just hung out in the ice bar
and we started talking to people. We were in this
ice bar, I'm not even kidding you for like two
or three hours, and I'm like, oh, this is this

(26:03):
is easy, this is a piece of cake and anybody
could do.

Speaker 3 (26:05):
This is actually who I'm getting kind of hot in here.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
I come to find out that the ice bar they're
just lying to you when they tell you that it's
like negative ten degrees.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
Because I go, I'm taking off my gloves in there.
My head, I go, it's really not that hot.

Speaker 1 (26:18):
And then I google it and it goes, yeah, ice
bars are typically kept at like twenty five degrees or something. Yeah,
no negative ten cold, yea yeah, not negative ten. So
we did we did a dry run in the ice bar,
and I think Schnitz might have some pictures there we
are at the ice bar.

Speaker 3 (26:36):
And h in London clothes.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
So you bought, bundled up, bought these clothes because we're
bought these clothes.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
That's right, That's right. That's another trial. You have to go.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Gore text, man, Gore text, gotta gotta have wind proof.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
You know.

Speaker 6 (26:49):
Is it a whole snowsuit or is it a top
like a jacket and pants.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
It's a jacket and pants. I like because because I
might have to you know, when I crap. I don't
want to crap in my snowsuit. You know, I'm prone
to emergencies. Uh So, so anyways, so we tested out.
We go all right, this is going to be good.
Uh And we get to the snowmobile place. And the
whole reason we bought these outfits is because my wife.

(27:14):
The snowmobile place says, we'll give you anything you want,
anything you need. Will give you the suit, the boots,
the gloves, everything, the thing that goes over your face.
You knowes I don't want to put the I don't
want to put my feet in like these nasty ass
used boots that have been used one hundred times, and
I don't want to get I go okay, all right,
we'll buy these some some good winter out.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
How much are these suits?

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Oh my god, I don't I don't know, but they
cheap mants, actual gortex, Is that right?

Speaker 3 (27:43):
That? Is that a Is that a brand of clothing
or is that a material material?

Speaker 1 (27:49):
I think it's a I think it's like a chemical
or some sort of fabric that's water repellent, and then
anybody can use that or license that to make their
clothes out of it.

Speaker 3 (27:58):
Anyway. So, so we.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Get to the snowmobile place and we're all bundled up
well ready to go, and they give you a quick
safety briefing and then they go, okay, we're going to
hand out these suits. And I'm like, can I wear it?
And they go, nope, you have to wear our suit.
You have to wear our Just put put our suit
on top of your suit.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Trust us. It's going to be cold.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
And my wife has just given me she's and they
give you these nasty ass boots that have been used
by like six thousand people, and she's she's so angry
at this point. So we're not getting off on the
right foot at the at the at the snowmobile place.
And then and then they go, okay, final thing, everybody,
we need to, you know, show us your license. I

(28:42):
pull out my international drivers permit and I go, here
you go. I goes, No, I don't need that. I
just need your regular driver sessions because you're from the US.
But it isn't your website, so I had to pull out.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
My driver's license show it's on. Yeah, total sucker.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
I mean, I don't know what kind of scam try
blaze operating, but something's going on. And so then we
get on this snowmobile and I'm we're all bundled up.

Speaker 3 (29:09):
I mean, we have our winter.

Speaker 1 (29:09):
Outfits on, we have their snowsuit on on top of that.
I'm sweating, man, I'm sweating my ass off. I go,
this is gonna be this is gonna be too I'm
gonna be too hot out.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
There on this snowmobile.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Then you get on the snowmobile and you realize it's
freaking cold when you're doing thirty miles an hour on
a snowmobile. And why I haven't been on a snowmobile
in like forty years. Why don't they have a windshield
that comes up. They give a windshield that's four inches tall.
It doesn't actually block the wind. What's the point of that?

(29:43):
Why don't they put this in front of your face?

Speaker 3 (29:46):
Great? Great questions? Well, we're you and be two sharing one.
Did you get a shared want to drive it? Yes? Oh?
She was on.

Speaker 1 (29:54):
I said, do you sure you want to? You don't
want to drive? She goes, no, I won't be able
to drive this thing. So she hops on the back
of the snowmobile. We are now off in an expedition
through the valley, and it is I'm telling you, it
is beautiful. The five feet ahead of you that you
can see, because that's it.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
It's totally pitch black.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
There are apparently you're in a canyon surrounded by all
these ice mountains and stuff, which looks really cool. I'm
sure you can find a picture of it if you
google it. I'm sure it looks beautiful. Could not see
one thing. The only thing you can only see about
twenty five feet in front of you, the little narrow
headlight path, and you're just trying to stay on the

(30:38):
path from the person ahead of you there. I think
there were like five or six snowmobiles in this little caravan,
the guy leading it at the front, A bunch of
people that don't really speak English in the middle from
I don't know to other places. And then E two
and I are in the back. We're holding up the rear.
Now I'm doing a great job. I'm keeping a maintaining

(31:00):
a safe distance of the uh of the snowmobile in
front of me?

Speaker 3 (31:04):
Is this no pacing?

Speaker 1 (31:06):
The guy in front of me, he's he's doing he's
doing weird stuff.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
He's he's he's going slow, he's going.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Fast, he's not uh, he's not keeping it like it's
not hard to steer these things. And every time they stop,
they stop like a few times. And this guy who
must have been like fifty in his in his I
don't know where he was from, Switzerland or something.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
He keeps asking.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
It feels like it's going to tip over or is
this gonna tip over? And I'm like, dude, it's not
that hard to drive this thing. It's really it's so bizarre.
So is this kind of what it looks like? I mean,
is this is that you can't see anything but I
don't know, I can't see Charlie.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
You literally cannot see oh, but you see that.

Speaker 8 (31:51):
So this is like not.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Even this is now we're more on like a flat
thing it's just you don't see You certainly don't.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
See whatever that sky is with lights, you don't see
any of that.

Speaker 2 (32:01):
Well, and the drones showing like this is no, you
don't see you don't see.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
This, don't see this ice waterfall, don't see that, don't
see this cave?

Speaker 7 (32:09):
No?

Speaker 3 (32:09):
All right, never mind, all right. I was trying to
find out a video of it.

Speaker 1 (32:12):
Okay, it would essentially be imagine getting on a snowmobile
blindfolding yourself and then just going thirty miles an hour blindfolded.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
In negative fifteen.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
I kind of think, is it like when you see
those deep Sea Explorer things like the James Cameron's always
driving just like they just have like ten feet in
front of him.

Speaker 3 (32:32):
There's nothing that's exactly what it is.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
It's exactly what Maybe something will come in the view
for a second, but it's gone.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
All right.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
The guy, the guy leading the tour, he had a
rifle strapped over his back in case we came across
any polar bears. And at that point I'm like, please
eat me to get me, put me out of my misery,
because it's freaking cold out here.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
So we stopped.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
I think he stopped, like three or four times, and
the first time we stopped, I were out in the
middle of nowhere, and I made a terrible decision, which
was she goes, be too, goes, do you want to
get a picture while we're stopped? They go, okay, sure,
I take out my phone and you can't operate your
phone with these big thick gloves on. So I take

(33:14):
my glove off and I'm trying to take a picture.
Can't take a picture of many take as it's pitch black.
He cannot see a thing nothing. I don't know what
I'm taking it just darkness. So then I'm like, wow, man,
my hand's out of this glove for like thirty seconds,
and I'm like, ooh, man, it's getting cold. I got
to put this glove back on my hand. I don't
I didn't actually get frostbite, I don't think, but I

(33:36):
thought I was going to have to go to the
hospital because like, I get back on that snowmobile and
then that hand is just like just burning, just unbelievab
And now you're going thirty miles an hour and it's
just so goddamn cold, and she's miserable bouncing around on
the back.

Speaker 3 (33:52):
Of this thing. She's just she is just going berserk.

Speaker 1 (33:58):
And every time we stop, like I can't feel my fingers,
They're gonna have to amputate my fingers. I'm I'm we
got to go back, and I can't say that in
front of this group.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
I can't. I mean, we're in the middle of nowhere.
There's nowhere to go back to. It can't. It's impossible.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
You'd have to make the tour guide take you back, right, everybody,
the whole expedition would have to turn.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
You can't do that, No, No, you can't.

Speaker 8 (34:21):
You don't think they'd take you back.

Speaker 3 (34:22):
I'm sure they would, but then everybody would.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
But then everybody's going to be upset because we have
to go back for these fingers that are falling off
back here.

Speaker 8 (34:29):
And they were all miserable too, you know.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
I think everyone was miserable already because the other people
were couples too, and you could tell, like, like every
one of these women is in the same boat as
I am.

Speaker 3 (34:41):
They don't want to be here. They're hateing this And
I've never been on a snowbiel. Is it really loud?
Can you talk? Can't talk because you have helmet on?

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Oh? Yeah, So there's no communication. There's absolutely nothing. You
can't I mean even if you're even when you're just
standing there, it's hard to communicate. How long do you
do for? Three hours?

Speaker 3 (35:01):
Charlie? Three hours? What?

Speaker 8 (35:03):
What if?

Speaker 9 (35:04):
It?

Speaker 3 (35:04):
Actually I'll take it back.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
It was probably about two and a half hours of
actually being out on the snowmall.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
When did your wife want it to be? When did
you want it to be done? Forty five minutes? Uh no,
because we.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Start going and I'm like, oh, this is this isn't bad.
And then about five or ten minutes in, I go, oh,
my fingers are getting pretty cold. This is Yeah, this
is not as comfortable as I thought it was going
to be. And I would say twenty minutes in, I
was ready to turn around.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
I'm like, I got especially, we can't see anything.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
What's the point? I can't see a thing, just miserable.
So it's bad enough. That's bad enough. But then so
we make a stop and then it was our final side.
He goes, Okay, we're heading back to our next place.
We're going to be back to the little building or whatever.
And so I'm following again. I'm in the rear, I'm following,

(35:52):
and the snowmobile ahead of me kind of like did
a little like a left or a right and then
a left, and I'm like it was only like a
ten foot twenty foot stretch. I go, well, I can
just go why go over those bumps in a round?
I can just go straight through. It's nice and flat
right here. So I do that, and I guess it's

(36:16):
just like a patch of ice or something.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
I go right through it and we do a complete
three sixty on the snowmobile. That's just complete spin out,
come to a dead stop. But the other people are still,
you know, they're still going. So now there's quite a
bit of you know, a bet who's not happy that
we just did a three sixty. But everything's fine, you know,
we didn't tip over or anything like that. And so

(36:43):
I can barely hear her. She's screaming at me, and
she's like, I can't see. I can't see I what
do you mean? She goes, my helmet got turned around.
I can't see, like it's blocking my eyes. And I'm
like the snowmobiles in front of us, they're like they're
not coming to small little lights. I go, I cannot
be stuck out here in the middle of the wilderness

(37:03):
in pitch black. I go, I go, you're just gonna
have to I go, you've got a string. We don't
have time to take this off. We know, have we
kid there? I go, We've just got to go, and
she goes, fine.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Fine.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
So now I got a lot of catching up to do.
So I have to floor the snowmobile and I'm going
and we hit a bump, and I mean it's like
a big ridge. She flies off the snowmobile and with
her helmet backwards all right, with her helmet right so

(37:35):
she lands. I didn't see it because I'm facing forward.
Apparently she lands right on her tailbone, and I don't
even notice for about like I thought I heard her screen.

Speaker 3 (37:48):
And I'm like, but she's not holding onto me. I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
I haven't been on a snowmobile like forty years. I
don't know if you guys have been on a snowmobile recently.
But she's not holding onto me. On the back of
the snowmobile there like these handles that you put behind
that are like behind her. I guess that she's holding
on to underneath the seat or something, you know. So
she bounces right off and so now I turn around.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
I go, oh my god, now I have to stop.
I circle back.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
She's she was a little bit angry because she told
me the whole time. She goes, you're going to drive
like a maniac. I said, Honey, I swear I'm not
going to drive like a maniac. I told you it's
going to be funny. I go, I'm not trying. I go, no,
I'm going to be totally fine. And then but I
got we got so far behind from spinning out that

(38:39):
I had to try to catch up anyway, So she
was a mess, and she was behind her because it's
so dark.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
What hapen?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
No, because I went right back on the path. I
only had to I only had to go for like,
thank god, twenty seconds, thirty seconds?

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Maybe what did she land?

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Like?

Speaker 3 (39:03):
What kind of what was the grind? Like? It's just
ice she lands. It's like landing on a hockey rink, essentially.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Oh that hurt. It's oh, oh her tail, she's oh.
I'm still hearing about it about how her.

Speaker 3 (39:19):
See see twelve or see something.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
See they're fused together now, Charlie, they're just smashed together,
is what she told me.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
How did you tell you all of that with your
frozen shoulder, Like, how painful was that for you?

Speaker 8 (39:32):
Because when you're on a snow as long as my.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Arm doesn't go above my head, I'm fine.

Speaker 8 (39:37):
So going so just holding it, that was okay.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
So now I have to pick her up because her
helmet is like and and really I'm looking at her
and the helmet. She's like, I can't see the helmet
is it looks like it's straight out. I go, oh
my god, I think her eyeballs frozen. She's going blind
or something. And then it turns out later that once
we got the helmet off of her that what had
actually happened was that her hair had somehow gotten over

(40:02):
half of her face and it was like all matted
down so she couldn't even feel her hair.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
It was just it was a mess. It was a mess,
an absolute disaster.

Speaker 9 (40:12):
She doesn't want to cut her hair off now for sure.
She wants a divorce, is what she wants. Yeah, here's
the picture. This is after the fact. This is what
we'll give her the rating of the of the ride.
You see how pink her thumbs are too. You see
that her thumbs her face?

Speaker 1 (40:35):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, she yep, she might she might
file for divorce anything.

Speaker 3 (40:40):
Now. She was not happy, not happy. She said she's.

Speaker 1 (40:44):
Through with doing anything on a vacation and she's never
doing another expedition, adventure, excursion, whatever, never going to do
that ever again.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
She said. So that was that was Falbard for us.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
Yeah, just how many days? I think we were there?
Four days, Charlie. How long did you run out of
things to do? Like day one day?

Speaker 3 (41:09):
Well, we landed there on day one.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
We didn't get there until like seven pm or something,
so we went out to dinner and then just went
to bed.

Speaker 3 (41:16):
That was it.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
Day two ran out of stuff to do and you
know what else? Was it sort of a scam. I
saw these pictures and I was really looking forward to
this because you look online, you see all these pictures
of the inside of all the hotels.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
Yeah, it looks great restaurants.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
And they all have these big, roaring fireplaces that are
going and I'm like, this is gonna be great, cozy,
like a ski logic to come in for my snowmobile expedition.
I'm gonna I'm gonna sit by the fire, I'm gonna
be drinking drinks. I'm gonna this is gonna be this
is gonna be luxurious. And in reality, we get to
the hotel or in the in the lounge area there

(41:57):
of the hotel, and I'm sitting next to this fire.
I go, can you guys, can you can you turn
on this fireplace like like they have in the pictures
and I'll love it. The bartender he goes, oh, let
me get the manager. And the manager comes out and goes,
mm yell, okay, yeah I can, I can. I can
get this going for you. She comes back with like
a like a bottle that she pours into a little

(42:21):
tray and it's like that liquid that you just burned.

Speaker 3 (42:24):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
It puts off zero heat and the flame is about
two inches tall.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
It's not like a real fireplace. Nobody there was.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
I didn't see one fireplace on this entire place. Nobody
has a fireplace. So it was it was yeah, you
can do it about in and out twenty four hours too.
If you don't want to visit there?

Speaker 8 (42:44):
Where did you go there after?

Speaker 3 (42:46):
Then?

Speaker 8 (42:46):
So you left Norway?

Speaker 1 (42:50):
We went from Faalbard. Well, we couldn't get back uh to.
We couldn't get back without going to We had to
spend a night in Oslow Norway. So we stayed in
Oslow and was that cool? Well, we got into Oslow
at about we got to the hotel at nine pm.

(43:12):
I said, hey, what what, We're really hungry.

Speaker 3 (43:16):
There was no meal on the plane or anything.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
And I said, you know, what are some restaurants that
go they're all closed? I go, it's nine o'clock. They go,
now everything's everything in the area is closed. Yes, Charlie.
I didn't believe it. So then I went to walk around.
Everything was actually closed. All the restaurants were closed. I
couldn't believe at nine o'clock at night. And and I

(43:40):
did see a Christmas they had like one of those.
It was closed, but they had one of those Christmas
like villages with all the stalls and everything, and I'm like, oh,
this looks cute like they were just they just closed it.
And then as I'm looking at what is is that? A?

Speaker 3 (43:57):
Is that a cat.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Running through the Christmas village thing by all the stalls?
And then I go, oh, wait, there's another one. So
I keep walking giant rats just running around. I'm talking
dozens of rats. Just so then after we saw that,
we're like, oh we are do we even.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Want to eat?

Speaker 1 (44:16):
In a restaurant down here, because the whole city must
have been overrun by rats.

Speaker 3 (44:20):
I've never seen anything like this, just scurrying about.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
And then people were walking around like like they must
have seen it.

Speaker 3 (44:27):
I guess, but it didn't phase them one bit.

Speaker 8 (44:30):
Wow, did you come home for Christmas?

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Then?

Speaker 8 (44:33):
Were you home in time for Christmas?

Speaker 3 (44:36):
Did you?

Speaker 1 (44:37):
I told you forget the small bar you travel the
whole time we were sitting small barred after like the
day after Christmas. So okay, uh, I've got to take
a break. Du you said you're gonna give us. Oh
my god, we're running behind Super Size Shizzy. When we
come back, we'll be all right. We'll be right back
on Rover's Morning Glory. Hang on,