Fun Months, Ace In The Hole, Plight Rider, 21 Vomits, Steve Byrne, Butt Grapes, Travel Plan(ets)

The Alan Cox Show

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
The Federal Communications Commission has determined the following content to
be emotionally harmful.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Funny Things that she thinks funny aren't funny.

Speaker 3 (00:11):
Jimmy Cox Cox Allen Coxshow kicks ash Man welcome you me.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
What's you go?

Speaker 5 (00:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
I canna see a lot of cocks on TV. Allen
Cox from the Allen Conso I don't know what's about you,
but I can't get thank you.

Speaker 6 (00:26):
Well, it don't be a pretty Let's take it cofee
ticket and you'll get eight.

Speaker 7 (00:31):
With a tasty group. Okay, what two three tickets ticket?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Tom dam put you one time ticket.

Speaker 8 (00:42):
Allen Con.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here we go, He'll add, he'll be trying.

Speaker 6 (00:44):
Here's the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point seven
double U m M.

Speaker 2 (00:59):
This is Rob Blurry or I am the better I
look you just you're looking too good today tryck Yeah,
trying to uh focus in on me the way that
green works with you?

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Right, I mean, uh, I mean you know, I just
wanted to make sure you're capable, is all said.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
Listen. I like all of it's a pop and the rise,
well pop yeuh hey, welcome, good afternoon.

Speaker 7 (01:24):
My name is Alan Cox. Thanks for being here. Rob
Anthony's right over there.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Thanks up man, and uh yeah, our eyes do pop
if you're watching the live stream. If you're not rest
assured they still do. He'd like to join us today.
Phone numbers two one six, five, seven, eight one double
oh seven, eight hundred three four eight one double oh
seven Send me attacks three five one nine two. Alan

(01:49):
coxshow dot com best place to email. You can watch
the aforementioned video stream on the Alan Cock Show YouTube channel.
I get a press for released this morning. Fort Would
you like to take part in Sober October. I'm like, nope,
you know it's halfway through the month, right, This might
have been better served getting to me.

Speaker 7 (02:10):
I don't know tail end of September.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
But in answer to your question, no, I have no
interest in doing Sober October all those kinds of things
for charity.

Speaker 9 (02:21):
You know.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I can't do sober October because of course it's October, right,
and in honor of the late great Ace Frehley, I
will be over drinking for the remainder of the month
of October, so the exact opposite of sober. But then
of course you go right into no nut November. Isn't

(02:42):
that a thing too?

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Now?

Speaker 10 (02:44):
What is that for.

Speaker 7 (02:45):
Is that for like a testicular cancer thing, or I
couldn't begin to tell you is at Is it an
in cell thing?

Speaker 2 (02:51):
They go, well, we're not having sex anyway, let's just turn.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
It into a movement. I never made it past No Nut.
As soon as I heard that, I was out. I
didn't care what it was for. I didn't even hear November.
They're like, hey, do you want to participate? No, no Nut,
No right, no, I'm not going to.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Do that ever, because as I understand it, it's got
nothing to do with people who have allergies to legomes right,
It's not no Nut November an annual Internet challenge of
sexual abstinence. Now, there are a lot of people who
are already abstaining the other eleven months of the year,
and so I guess they figured, well, what am I

(03:26):
doing this for? For free? Again, I assume that there's
a charity component. Otherwise it's the dumbest thing I've ever
heard of before. Just because something blew up on the
Internet doesn't mean it has to become something. But then again, Rob,
I go listen, if you want to take part in that,
if you want to withhold that, good for you. It's

(03:48):
got nothing to do with me. Although what follows up
no nut November? As I understand it, destroy your D
December yep, because of course after giving your elf. You know,
it's ironic that the no nut November happens during the
month with Thanksgiving in it, because you think that you'd
want to thank I don't know think put that on

(04:12):
the list of things for which to give thanks. But anyway,
I've gotten way off topic here. I got a press
release for sober October. Let's do mow nut November. Hey,
let's get mow nuts mo. Yeah, well, there are videos
online the no nut November debate. I'm like, why is
there a debate about it? What debate? Either do it

(04:35):
or don't do it? So if you want to you know,
some guys, to quote Andrew dice Clay, they think it's
like wine.

Speaker 7 (04:43):
They think they got to let it age and you know,
and then decimate your D.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
December shows up, and then I have to assume that
January being the next month. It may be mentally, you know,
people are in the mindset of turning over a new leaf.
What's the longest mature here? But while we're on the subject,
what can you call the longest provided that you do them.
Can you recall the longest that you ever stayed with
a New Year's resolution?

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Oh yeah, I've done it them. No, I don't do
them often, but when I do do them, I do
them for real. When I lost, like, I lost a
lot of weight at one point in my life, I
started January first and it went through God October, I
didn't I didn't eat anything bad. I stopped drinking. I

(05:31):
didn't drink for almost a year.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, and me, you know me, I got drink I no, nothing,
not a simple wine, nothing, And I dropped like sixty
five pounds.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
Oh good for you. Yeah, I put like thirty of
it back on. But now I'm going the other way again.
How are you doing that?

Speaker 3 (05:45):
Thanks to my friends at Mentality? Oh yeah, for them
looking good man, I'm telling you, Wow, you've been working
with them so closely that they're friends.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Now they are my friends, very very close. I get
to see him again on Monday. Well, listen, when doctor
Ryan Bergland is here with the Cleveland Clinic, we do
is it read? A few times throughout the year. He
will tell you you gotta be a big proponent for
the health of your prostate. No, not November could actually
be deleterious to the process of taking care of your prostate. Right,
you want to make sure that you're getting regular pops.

(06:16):
You gotta get your reps. You want to make that forearm,
I can guarantee you you want to get that Popeye
Arm Guing.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
I am never ever, ever going to get prostate cancer.
If that's the one way to make sure you don't
get it, I am, I am golden.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
I can't believe the only reason that we know that's
not the only way is because it still is a thing.

Speaker 7 (06:37):
Because there isn't a guy.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
On the planet who would have problems with their prostate
if that was the only issue. Listen, I don't adhere
to the Monty Python mantra. If every sperm is sacred,
I believe that there's absolutely nothing sacred about them fundamentally
or life itself. However, it's your stuff and you should
do whatever you want to with it. I think more

(06:59):
along the line of why can't we just have a
moderation March rub you know, in the spring, rebirth all
that crap. Why does it have to be Why does
everything have to be so extreme? You know, people complain
about extremity in our culture and our politics, but maybe
our brains are wired kind of an all or nothing thing.

Speaker 7 (07:19):
There's nothing wrong with moderation.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
I know it's not as sexy, but you know, the
sexiness is in the complete abstinence or in the excess,
but the moderation is where the fun is. Yeah. See,
if you're gonna do that, you want it to be
like in you know, month after months.

Speaker 3 (07:37):
So you know, if March is going to be the moderation,
then you would want to celebrate like, let's see Fabruary.

Speaker 7 (07:46):
That's exactly right.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
R Yes, So you go hard in February yep, good
pun and then you slow it down moderate in March.

Speaker 7 (07:53):
That's right.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Decimate your d December you get their Christmas if you're
right into the jerk of January, and then you're in February,
and then moderation March through April. Yep. Then it's finger
up the April and then whatever you want to do
for the rest of the year, you can come up
with one. Yeah, you know, quarterly maybe, and then of

(08:15):
course from May that's uh May, I put this there,
that's the month I celebrate. Then of course June the
month of my birthday. And so that's a whole big thing.
Well that you celebrate the whole month, of course, and
then of course you've got July. You're halfway through the
summertime there and everybody's feeling good. And then of course
the month of July is July about having something before

(08:36):
we got naked and I left it in. And then
you get to August. Then you know, it's just kind
of a dealer's choice in August, and then you're back
to the month of Zeptember. Yeah, right into October, and
then right into October slash sober October for some people.
And then you've come full circle if you so choose
to know nut November. We've got a good balance here.

Speaker 7 (09:00):
Celebrate nothing but nut November. How about that?

Speaker 2 (09:03):
Right, You're lucky to find me not doing that throughout
the month of November. So once we pass Halloween, Rob
and I of course, will be in separate studios so
as to respect each other's privacy. The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 6 (09:18):
On one hundreds. When the world just seems too.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
Crazy, gaze into the eyes of a child, because you'll
probably find a booger, and man, is that a hoof Allen.

Speaker 6 (09:34):
Cock Show on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
I think they announced I was in here for quite
a while after the show last night, maybe the last
hour of the show.

Speaker 7 (10:08):
The word came down to days Freiley was in on
life support or whatever.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
And then still as we signed off, I think he
died or the word got out that he died because
we were I still have the text screen open, and
people had blown up. Ace Frayley just died with And
I was talking to Chory Erotic about this morning and
he was like, were you ever because Standsbury a huge
Kiss fan, and I enjoyed Kiss, you know, I mean,
I wasn't.

Speaker 7 (10:29):
Kiss was the first band that I remember.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I think probably that a lot of people remember or
what there was like a you know, they were fully
merchandised and all that, and there were times where the
music seemed almost secondary, but theatrics unparalleled and all that,
and you know, way before they kind of became legendary.
And Corey Erotic way into them as well, and he
was kind of pointing out that for a lot of
young boys of a certain generation, Kiss was kind of

(10:51):
the connective tissue for them, right, And I had friends
that were like that.

Speaker 7 (10:55):
I had a handful of friends that were like crazy
for Kiss.

Speaker 2 (10:58):
They had the dollars in the comics and the lunchbox
and all that, and so from afar, I kind of
saw that and I was like, oh, yeah, like I
get what's going on.

Speaker 7 (11:05):
And it was entertaining.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I mean they were there was a you know a
couple of decades where you couldn't look in any direction
in Natzie Kiss. So but they were never like a,
you know, one of my favorite bands. But so, what
I'm trying to get to is I could never tell
how good Ace Frayley was. Was he considered a good guitarist,

(11:28):
I mean compared to the other guys in Kiss. I
understand people like, oh, he was like the legit guy,
you know. And I don't know that anybody who plays
the bass has ever quoted Gene Simmons as a as
an inspiration with respect, you know. I mean, then nobody's
been like, oh, I was influenced. You might have been
influenced by like Kiss as far as the overall vibe goes.

(11:50):
You know, plenty of bands were inspired by Kiss. Like
I can never tell if Ace Frayley was like a
great guitar player. I think so.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Yeah, I think he's one of those dudes that was
a tree point to every Like Dan had a thing
that he posted on his on his page that said, uh,
your your favorite guitar playist players favorite guitarist is Ace Frehley.
I saw that, and I think it's I think it's
one of those things that he was the entry point
for a lot of those dudes. Tom Morello and those

(12:18):
type of guys first kind of saw Ace and kiss
and fell in love with what that was, and then
they all kind of went from there. So an Ace
would tell those those just spin the yarns about how
Eddie van Halen learned how to tap because of him.
That's probably not true.

Speaker 7 (12:33):
I was gonna say, but nobody believed that.

Speaker 2 (12:35):
But that's what I mean, like because but but when
people go, oh, I I picked up a guitar because
of Ace Frayley, I hear that as I saw a
kiss as this massive thing and said that's what I
want to do and then picked up a guitar.

Speaker 7 (12:48):
Not I heard this guy, Ace Frehley, and it blew
my mind.

Speaker 9 (12:51):
You know.

Speaker 7 (12:52):
I think that that's why I could never figure.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Out It really depends on how you define what makes
a great guitarist. Like when you when you do that
top five greatest guitars things, there's a lot of points
that come in to consideration, right, Like you're thinking about
memorable licks, You're thinking about all of these things.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
And when you name like everybody.

Speaker 3 (13:09):
Somebody was asking me earlier today, how do you where's
the differentiation line from you know, when Ace was in
the band to when he wasn't, And I was like,
everything good was Ace, with the exception of lick it Up.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
Well, this is where you and I part company because
the way I always this. So I told Corey this morning,
I said, I didn't really genuinely get into Kiss until
Creatures of the Night. So for me, the subsequent guitar players,
Bruce Kolick, Vinnie Vincent, those were the guys I was like, Oh,
these guys are amazing. Ace was good if you're a

(13:44):
kid for what Kiss needed. That's why I couldn't tell,
because those guys were like shredders. An Ace not a shredder.
But again, my point is Kiss didn't need that. You know,
you serve the songs. But I could never for as
vaunted a position they have in rock and roll, and
I'm not saying deservedly. I could never because I'm a drummer,
I'm a guitar player. I could never tell if he

(14:09):
was like a genuinely great guitar player. If you go
and you listen back to all the old Kiss stuff.

Speaker 3 (14:14):
And when I say everything good was Ace, I mean
every single song that you could mention off the top
of your head, with the exception of maybe you who's
who you know had a different entry point into Kiss,
You're gonna name every single song that was Ace's licks.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
So when you talk about him being a great guitar grapher,
those are the classics, right right exactly, Yeah, those are
the classics. Parasite to me, I liked a lot because
I like that opening riff that to me was kind
of a grungier song that kissed that you know, dig
col jin Ace Frehley wrote Deuce. You know a Stansbury
is playing a lot of Kiss earlier today wrote Deuce,
which has the greatest opening line of any song in

(14:51):
heavy metal and rock and roll, which is get up
and get your grandma out of here. I mean, only
a guy who was getting high all the time would
have come up with that. And so, yeah, a lot
of good It's funny they were I was kind of
watching a lot of retrospectives and they were talking about
Ace was telling a story about how they had a
nickname for cocaine, and he's like, we called it Betty White,

(15:13):
and everybody had a good lab. It was like on
the Today Show or something, and everybody had kind of
a chuckle, you know. But I was always like, why
did why did anybody need a nickname for cocaine? Every
band was doing it, you know, you hear these stories
about like you just go into the dressing room in
the green room and there's a pile of cocaine on
the table, Like why was everybody all cloak and dagger
about coke at a time when everyone was doing it. Hey,

(15:36):
I'm gonna need some of that Betty White, bro, just
say cocaine, I think, just go get me some cocaine.
I think everybody was afraid of the stigma that was
attached to it.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
You know, everybody was doing it, but I think to
just say it would have been a little for the
little munch.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Yeah. Well, Kiss got into the Rock and Roll Hall
of famorite course in twenty fourteen, and his influence in
guitar playing is unquestionable, right, Like you said, you talked
to all those guys and they're like, oh.

Speaker 3 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah, and again he's not He's not. He wasn't
a virtuos guitar player. He wasn't an Eddie Van Halen,
Stevie Ray Vaughan. The band didn't need that, that's right. Yeah,
but but again that was why I couldn't get kind
of my arms around whether or not. You know, but
when you run through that list, man, like you hit play,
like literally, if you just open up our program and

(16:26):
just hit play on the the intros to rock and
Roll All Night, Cold Gin?

Speaker 2 (16:31):
Yeah what else?

Speaker 4 (16:33):
Now?

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Cold Gin does have my favorite solo, which sounds like
a guy who just learned the guitar. This is what
I'm saying right.

Speaker 4 (16:55):
Now.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
It goes up an octave all right, now we're gonta somewhere, Okay, listen,
I love it. I'm like that.

Speaker 7 (17:04):
That was where my question came from.

Speaker 2 (17:06):
That sound. Obviously he didn't just learn the guitar, but
that's like a solo you would play if you just
learned the guitar.

Speaker 3 (17:14):
Lena, Yeah, those dudes weren't I mean, listen, he was
the musician in the band, yeah, right, like the other.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Guys just mean the bar was so low that you
know all of Peter Krisko drummer. But I mean again,
but for what that was the other guys who came in.
When I started to get to Kiss, I was like, oh,
this is because I was My bias was I was
listening to heavy metal, so I was used to bands
where they were all virtuoso's right, right.

Speaker 7 (17:39):
I fully understand the appeal of Kiss. I really I
do like them.

Speaker 2 (17:43):
My son came in for that last show in Cleveland
and we just had a great time. But when I
finally started really paying attention to Kiss, it was like
Eric Carr, who was a great drummer, and Vinnie Vincent
Bruce Coolik like guys that OpEd that band's game, and
so I could never really get a handle on. I

(18:04):
guess Ace was probably the perfect guy at the right
time for them.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
And I think Ace is one of those dudes who's
going to be remembered in a similar way to and
again Slash a better guitar player I think overall, but
in the same way like if you hit play on
Paradise City or Rocket Queen. Yeah, when you hear those licks,
you're like, oh hell yeah, right and that's what this

(18:28):
is like in Detroit rock City.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
I realized that it's as much about feel as anything
else too. So there are plenty of influential people who,
you know, might not have been the greatest people to
ever pick up an instrument, but they're undeniably influential. And
so I figured that was the silo that Ace Frehley
fell into. I meant calling Doctor Love, I said, that
was right after him. Yeah, it was Vinnie Vincent. That
was the first album after Yeah, Well they took the

(18:52):
makeup off. Yeah, they again, and then they got named
Mark Saint John. It was on one album, but he died.
He got some nerve disease or something. In Mark Saint Jay.
He was on Animalized. But they had a real revolving
door there for a while until they got to Bruce Coolick.
I handed the keys to this thing last night to Corey.
I was driving.

Speaker 3 (19:08):
I'm like, dude, yeah, you're a huge fan, do whatever
you want, and he played I Stole Your Love. I
forgot how much I love that song. It's a great song.
I was like, I think he played it today, did he?

Speaker 2 (19:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (19:19):
I just I could not get over I forgot all
about it, and that was on I think that was
on Love Gun and I'm like, I could. I haven't
heard that song in so long, And I'm like, hell yeah,
I listened to like five times on my driving to work.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yes, Sansbury played last hour his show. Oh did he?

Speaker 7 (19:34):
Yeah, it's so good. It is good. Yep, Stole your
love is on love Gun.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Yeah. I'm gonna be on a kiss kick for a while.
I think that I am too. I am I'm in
no way diminishing, but I was just thinking from a
musical standpoint, like, if you talk to a guitarist who's
really great at their craft, do they say.

Speaker 9 (20:01):
That?

Speaker 2 (20:01):
Was my question. I think for that reason, you're never
gonna say.

Speaker 3 (20:08):
When you have the conversation who was the greatest guitar
player of all time and you start talking about Paige
and Hendricks and Stevie Ray Vaughan and those guys, You're
never going to say Ace freely at that point, right.
But in that same vein of Holy God, this guy
came up with a million licks that you can say
off the top of your head.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
He will be great in that way, And dozens of
players have cited Ace as a direct influence. Doesn't get
enough credit. Technically proficient and self taught. Well that's impressive too,
when you've taught yourself, I imagine that cole jen is
one of the first things either. Look, there's a.

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Reason they took their time putting together Kiss Alive, right, like,
uh huh, yeah, he gotta find the good cuts, yup,
and go ahead and work your way back then, and
you got a sweeten the whole thing, that's right.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, throw a little extra crowd noise on that one part. Well,
our friend Jean Simmons did check in with us in
the after all. Good yeah, kiss also myself. I'm sure
at this point you've heard the news about our dear friend.

Speaker 11 (21:11):
He's really passing.

Speaker 5 (21:14):
Although over the years we did have our differences and
how we saw the business and how we wanted to
run the business.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
But you know, there was no hard feelings to the
point of anything like this.

Speaker 11 (21:27):
So I hope everyone will take a moment to remember
his work.

Speaker 7 (21:30):
Well, how about that anything like this.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
It sounds terrible because Gene of course drives a twenty
twelve Honda Pilot and some of the windows aren't sealed
all that well, but real heart felt there from him.
No no hard feelings or anything like this ele Miss
of Jeene Simmons, of Kiss and also of myself. He's
so good.

Speaker 4 (21:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
So tomorrow night we called a couple of audibles, by
the way, Tomorrow night we do a metal show called
two Hours to Midnight, and Corey is going to play
Anthrax's cover of Kisses Parasite, which is done. Oh nice.
Anthrax has always been. Last week we played their cover
of Anthem by Rush. So Anthrax has been on the
two times in two weeks. You know, Anthrax obviously huge

(22:10):
kiss fans. They were on that kiss My ass remember
the tribute album called kiss My ass YEP from the
mid nineties here, And so we'll play Parasite tomorrow night,
and we're gonna do a lot of kiss all weekend too.

Speaker 3 (22:30):
So Corey will do a double shot at the beginning
of every hour uh tonight, yeah, and then all weekend
long we'll do at least one an hour. We'll throw
one in and let these guys yack a little bit
about kiss because every one of our our guys are
all big fans.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
Man like Stansbury's broken up. Oh yeah, yeah, you know,
and this is when Ozzie died for you. Yeah, and
Van Halen died for you and me, Chris Cornell for me. Yeah, well, Allen,
what would David Lee Rossa like on cocaine?

Speaker 6 (23:00):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Dave you want some more? Alright? Jesus, I think he's
already had a saying alright, alright, hey David you are
are you? Are you doing? Co currently? WHOA?

Speaker 5 (23:22):
All right?

Speaker 11 (23:23):
I live my life back this tomorrow. Well someday that
will be alright over here, coffin. All right, thank you,
thank you, Dave. All Without kiss, Pantera and Death wouldn't exist.
Their influences vest absolutely, like listen, all those guys are like.
But again, to me, that was generational.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
That was kind of my question, and I know I'm
really splitting hairs, but it's a genuine question for people
my age, like the gen Xers, the Pantera guys, all
those bands, right, their first exposure to a band that
was huge and bombastic and dynamic and the makeup and
the pyro. There isn't a kid alive who wouldn't look

(24:06):
at that and go, eh, you know that's different than
going that guy made me pick up a guitar. And
so of course, I guess it does get you in
the gut before it gets you in the brain.

Speaker 3 (24:18):
I think it's synonymous. I think the two things are
equal with that band, Yeah, I really do. I think
that these dudes saw that for the first time. It
was the first band to the I mean their fans
were called the Kiss Army.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 3 (24:31):
It was a big deal, man, And I think once
people saw that, they're like, well, yeah, I totally want
to play guitar. Yeah, those songs, Hell yeah, it's fall
in love with those those riffs. I don't know, man,
I get it. You know again, I'm not the world's
biggest Kiss fan by any means, but I've always liked them,
and I understand where everybod's coming from.

Speaker 2 (24:53):
By the way, they also hold the distinction of there
hasn't been a single member of the Kiss Army who
has ever been killed in combat any military intervention around
the world, at least not directly, maybe indirectly, but and
so they can at least hold their heads high about that.
There was a I told you about this before the show.

(25:14):
Bob Art imaging person here.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
He makes those things that we play in between songs,
and he found this clip of Paul talking about Ace
and we're going to use that as as one of
the intro to the songs over the weekend. I don't
know if you want to play it now or not,
but it is so worth it.

Speaker 7 (25:34):
What's the number again?

Speaker 2 (25:36):
What did I say? Hold on because I don't have
it up?

Speaker 4 (25:38):
One?

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Four, six three. This is so great. This is why
I love rock and roll. Look this boot up here?

Speaker 12 (26:03):
How you doing this is Paul Stanley of Kiss and
you're listening to w MMS.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
The Home of the Buzzer. The Buzzard remembers Ace.

Speaker 7 (26:11):
At one point, Ace got the nickname the Chef.

Speaker 12 (26:14):
One night, while we were sitting in front of our
mirrors putting on our makeup, Peter walked up behind Ace
and put his on his shoulder. Ace very nonchalantly turned
to the side and gave it a kiss. So he
became the chef because he had to taste everything.

Speaker 2 (26:29):
Wow, that alone puts you in the pantheon. That puts
you on Mount Olympus of rock and roll. Right, so great,
Just and you just think about it. I have to
completely rework the Mount Rushmore of rock and roll, Ace Frehley,
and then whoever the other three guys are that you
want to put up there.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Just that the idiot nature of these dudes, that's so
funny to taste everything.

Speaker 2 (26:49):
Peter just walked up.

Speaker 3 (26:50):
And placed his d on his shoulder the chef and
that's what, guys, and that's what started kissing.

Speaker 7 (27:00):
Kiss yeah, kiss it.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Just turned around and kissed it.

Speaker 7 (27:04):
He took it a little too seriously. He kissed it.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
But no, it's just the name of the band.

Speaker 4 (27:08):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (27:09):
Then I am in kiss anything that crosses my field
of vision.

Speaker 7 (27:14):
Oh yeah, crack me up, man, Alan.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
The influence with Ace is that he was on the
biggest band in the world, and anybody with a modicum
of talent could play his stuff. That's what I mean.
That's what would be fun about it is if you
loved kiss listen, nobody's gonna listen to Van Halen and
go oh. I could do that. I couldn't do it
on the drums. Guitar players couldn't do it, you know
what I mean. But kiss you go oh. I can
play these songs. That's the fun of it is recreating

(27:40):
those I told Corey. Also the story I'm sure I've
told it here, but my first full time job in
radio was in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Went there in the fall
of ninety five and those small markets, you know, they're
very community mind and whatever. And I worked for a
classic rock station. The station I was at was basically
like the mms of that area. They've been there forever
eight hundred pound Gorilla. And there was this local holiday

(28:02):
parade that all of like these local companies and local
businesses and local media all took part in this holiday
parade that would go through this route downtown Kalamazoo. And
so my first year there, me and these three other
dudes that were on the air, I said we should
do a Kissmas float. This was my big idea. We'll

(28:24):
do a Kissmas float. And so we decked out this
big flatbed trailer that was going to get pulled out.
This was going to be our float. I said, we're
the rock and roll station. Why are we going to
be up there dressed like Santa and all this dumb
crap that all these other people are doing. And so
I said, We're going to do a Chissmas float. And
so we spent months putting this thing together. Right, we
got actual instruments. Now we were kind of lip syncing

(28:46):
along with it, but we had giant stacks that were
going to play the music. We the four of us
did the makeup. I got a drum kit on there.
We had real instruments. We did the makeup. One of
the guys on our air staff dabbled and you know,
doing electrician stuff or whatever. So we had a full
white bulb light Kiss logo backdrop behind us that flashed.

(29:08):
I mean, it was a full thing. And so but
unfortunately the night of the parade, because this was a
holiday parade, it was like frozen sleet, right, not heavy,
but just enough to be uncomfortable, Like my hands were
frozen because I'm back there, you know mine, I'm I'm
playing the drums. They're miming, you know, their instruments because

(29:29):
we have the music blairing through these stacks on this flatbed.
But I'm playing the drums. Anyway, the people on the
parade route loved it because it was such a spectacle.
But the city council after that reworked. We forced them
to rework the wording of the charter for this annual
community parade that the float had to be holiday in nature.

Speaker 7 (29:53):
So we were one and done on the Kissmas float.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
But I was like, it was so fun and and
that was just a paired down version of what those
guys were doing every night, so you understand white people
are like, oh, this is great.

Speaker 7 (30:07):
Did you did you ever see him with kiss Ace Frehley?

Speaker 2 (30:11):
Yeah? No, I saw kiss twice my entire life. And
the second time was that very last show they just
did here in Cleveland a couple of years ago. I
did because they reunited for was it Psycho Circus? Yes,
I think that was the first time I saw them,
But it wasn't Ace, was it he came back.

Speaker 3 (30:26):
Yeah, he played with them that I must not have
seen that. It was ninety six, I think, yeah, to
two thousand and two he was back.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
With that band. He toured with them when they toured.

Speaker 7 (30:36):
So will he be buried in a kiss casket?

Speaker 2 (30:38):
God?

Speaker 3 (30:38):
I hope so, I hope. I hope at the very
least Jeane's nice enough to give him one for free.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Those are fifteen thousand dollars.

Speaker 7 (30:47):
He charges the Freiley estate for a kiss cask.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
Hit Glen Carr show on one of it called the
Alan Cox Show. It's called the Cellular Fall, and it's
being heralded as a revolution in technology.

Speaker 4 (31:06):
Two one double O seven or eight one double O seven.

Speaker 2 (31:19):
Three. If you want to send a text Allencoxshow dot
com email me there for anything. No Calves tonight. The
regular season begins on Wednesday in New York against the Knicks,
and then one week from tonight they will be over
there in Merklan play in the Nets. But the Calves
home opener is one week from Sunday where they will

(31:41):
be back at the Rocket Arena to host the Milwaukee Bucks.
And I will have tickets for you last pair this
week in about twenty minutes to get to that game.
And of course they have all kinds of to do
ready to do for the Cavs home opener. Everybody in
attendance gets the Calves inspired home Opener tip off t

(32:02):
shirt and rally Twell. It is no coincidence that that
spells hot hurt, because boy, it's gonna be a hot
hurt night at Rocket Arena. Calves dot com will have
all the details for you for the entire season. I
got a message from Rebecca all On. You guys were

(32:24):
talking earlier in the week about those script signs in
Cleveland and Parma. This's went up by me and Bay Village.
Here in Ritman, there's also a script sign in front
of what the city calls Charlie's puddle. It's a very
tiny pond which is dyed blue and green, and you
can't really see it very well in the picture that
she attached. She goes, but behind it there there's an

(32:45):
electrical box. There's Charlie's puddle back there, behind the lit
up ritman Ohio script sign, and she says, it's not
not super great placement, and for a city that's fallen apart,
maybe they should be spending the money differently.

Speaker 7 (33:04):
Well, that it's the argument that's made. And again it's yeah,
it's cosmetic, but people, does.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
That really cost in all fairness?

Speaker 7 (33:12):
Well, I think more than you think. I think that's
the umbrage.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
Some people have taken those script signs as they're like, look,
even if it costs two thousand dollars, as opposed to
something that's five figures, They're like, that money could probably
go into something else.

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Sure it could, but two thousand dollars isn't going to
make a scratch, you know what I mean? Like maybe
off the Titanic, if you got massive issues, maybe it
could clean up Charlie's puddle. Maybe, Well, it sounds like
it's already been dyed.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
Somebody said the set me a map of the scariest
named towns by state. You know, we have a lot
of beer a Chiefs and the gray shade of Montana.
That's big Sky country up there. Marshall is in Butte,
Ashley is in Pulse in Montana. John is in Sealy Lake, Montana.

(33:59):
Andrew is in Deer Lodge, Montana. A lot of people
in Montana, at least of which is the town of Helena.
Of course, Helena the capitol. Yes, okay, Helena, Montana was
also almost called Pumpkinville because of some I don't know,
old timey crap. But there every state that you know,
somebody made a map of every state's scariest town name.

(34:23):
Massachusetts it's called Bloody Pond. Do you know where Bloody Pond,
Massachusetts is a lot of people in the Midwest might
be familiar with Hell, Michigan. That one's pretty on the nose,
Devil's Elbow Missouri. None of them get too crazy. Uh,
there's Bloody Gulch Road in Illinois and a town in
Kentucky called Hell for certain I do like Slaughter Beach, Delaware.

(34:47):
That's pretty good. Here in Ohio, it's of course Gore
Orphanage Road. Every buddy James Renner, who has written a
couple of well he's a novelist by trade, but true
crime podcaster and all that. But his uh, he's joined
us on Halloween's Past for kind of literary ghost stories

(35:08):
and things like that. He's written a couple of books
along those lines. And he's talked about Gore Orphanage Road,
which I'm not sure where it begins and ends. I
think it's I think that's partly in Vermilion. By the way,
it would probably be Rebecca's in Ritman. I mean, I
think it would be probably a pretty good run northwest
of that. But Gore Orphanage Road. They say, now that's
not a town though, They're like, oh, these are these

(35:29):
spoo Maybe it's spookiest place name in each state.

Speaker 7 (35:33):
What is it in Roadie in Rhode Island? Yeah, let
me see here.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
The scariest place name in Rhode Island is small Pox Trail. Jesus,
I don't even know what.

Speaker 3 (35:47):
Okay, that bloody thing you mentioned from Massachusetts is Plymouth.
It's in a little leg okay, in Plymouth.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
In eighteen forty five and outbreak of small pox struck
the town of Richmond, Rhode Island. Okay, I know where
that is. The event led to the road on which
local councilman Ezekiel Phillips lived, to be named after it,
since he was the first person to present with smallpox.
How about that, we're gonna name this smaller pox Trail.

Speaker 5 (36:13):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Listen, a lot of people in this town died from smallpox.
Couldn't we name it something a little bit more uplifting. Now,
we're gonna call it small Pox Trail. It's the only
way out of town. They were very much on the
nose back then. Now I do like South Dakota, which
has punished woman's leg. Yikes. You probably don't have to
think too hard to figure out how they got that name.

(36:36):
But you know, back when they were a drowning women
because they thought they might be witches. You've bled for
seven days and heaven died. Yeah, which there was no
way around that. You know, if she survives, she's clearly
a witch. If she drowns, she was a witch. Oh,

(36:56):
it's always been fun. I assume to be a gal.
So thank you whoever sent me that. All of the
scary places in and around these United States. Alan rob
Love the show devn Devrin set the type of Devrin
from Wickliffe. I'm a ten year Uber driver in Cleveland.

(37:18):
I listened to the show all the time. Lately, I've
had several people ask me to turn the radio down
while I'm listening to your show in the car. Do
you think it's rude or disrespectful to tell the driver
to turn down the radio. I don't have the volume
up that loud, just enough so I can hear. I

(37:39):
want to know your guys' opinion. Well, you know that's
why they put those You can toggle your experience in
the Uber app. You want a quiet ride, click that
puppy over right. I don't do that because it's you know,
who cares. Some of them are super chatty, a lot
of them aren't. But listen. I will never dissuade anybody

(38:03):
from having this show on at full blast, mind you,
in their car. I think that the solution here, devn
Devren is it's on solo that you can pretend you
don't hear them, right, so they go, excuse me?

Speaker 7 (38:23):
Could you?

Speaker 2 (38:23):
And you are just driving along, laughing your ass off
at the program. It is your car, but you are
also providing. You know, they are paying you for a service,
So there's I guess there's a couple of cases to
be made there. I would just say to them, well,
you know you can. Usually the quiet experience means no
talking with the driver. It doesn't mean no sounding the car,

(38:46):
as I understand it. You know, when I was my
car was in the shop last week, and so all
last Friday I was a bulk of the weekend. I
was taking ubers everywhere and the one guy asked me
if I had a problem with the music he was
listening to.

Speaker 7 (38:59):
It just so happened to be like a hard rock
type situation.

Speaker 2 (39:02):
I said, I got no problem with that at all,
But he asked, and had I not been like dead tired,
I would have said, could you put on some smooth jazz?
Just because that's clearly not what he wanted to listen to.
But that's also the best way to maybe stumble upon
a genre that maybe you didn't know you liked. And

(39:24):
so let's say, you know, this guy's got some deaftones on.
When I get into his Kia and he goes, you
got a problem with the music, and I go, now
that you mention it, do you have a smooth jazz
station that you could put on. You know, it's a
Friday night. I got a chill before I go back out.
I would kill to hear some Kenny G or some
David sand some David Sanborn or some Cause or something,

(39:51):
even some Larry Carlton. Who was that first guy you mentioned,
Dave Cause, No, the guy before that, Kenny G is
that his mom knows him as Kenneth Gorlic and he's
one of He's probably the most successful smooth jazz artist
as far as album sales go in history. Rob, I
don't know if you've ever heard of him, but I

(40:13):
heard of who Kenny G. Anytime I mentioned his name,
an angel gets its wings. And I don't know if
you have an opinion on that, Rob, This guy goes.

Speaker 7 (40:28):
Is it rude? I don't think it's.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
No.

Speaker 7 (40:30):
I don't think it's rude to ask the driver to turn.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
The radio down. I mean, you're paying for the service,
it's your car. But no, you know you've opted to
drive for this for uber, I mean you've been doing it.
He's a decade in and he's not telling you to
turn it off. He's just asking you to turn it down.
So yeah, I don't I don't think that's terrible.

Speaker 7 (40:48):
Isn't everybody's cup of tea?

Speaker 2 (40:50):
You know we're talking about it at the time. I don't.
I'd need more context, obviously, But I know it's a
broad question. But you know, somebody gets in the car,
you know what kind of day there haven't They might
have just I don't know, maybe they got into a
fight with their significant other, maybe they lost their gig
and they don't want to get in the car. And
hear us talking about a bevy of queeves rob getting

(41:12):
in there, and even a camel too can release a
bevy of queves. Oh no, nobody wants to. Doesn't that
sound like the beginning of bad reputation?

Speaker 7 (41:23):
By the way, yes, you hear you?

Speaker 2 (41:27):
Could you turn this down? I'm sorry, I can't hear you.
Excuse me, yes, excuse me? Could you turn this down?
Speak up? Please? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Come on?

Speaker 7 (41:39):
Hello?

Speaker 2 (41:39):
Can I get out here? Pardon excuse me? I can't
hear you.

Speaker 8 (41:43):
Can you turn this down?

Speaker 13 (41:45):
What do you?

Speaker 14 (41:45):
What do you?

Speaker 2 (41:48):
Boy?

Speaker 4 (41:49):
I mean?

Speaker 7 (41:49):
That sounds terrible?

Speaker 4 (41:51):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Actually nobody wants that. How about those goddamn Blue Jays.
How about those Toronto Blue Jays? Even the series? Yeah,
Mad Max Sures are on the mound. When I was
on in Detroit, he was with the Tigers. I ran
into Max Shures or a couple of times. They walked
out there to tell him to get up the mound.
He told him to go scratch. He sure did, mat

(42:12):
He said, get the hell out of here. I'm not
going anywhere. They cut to the bullpen. They're all laughing.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
Well, there was no way you could see. As soon
as he left the dugout he started shaking his head. No,
he is it, Get out of my face. Yeah, I'm
in Yeah, I'm going to finish this thing off. Blue
Jays were down two games and nothing against the Mariners.
They've even it up a game five. I love a
game five.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
A game five. We had it here.

Speaker 7 (42:39):
Mariners, blue Jays tonight.

Speaker 2 (42:41):
Just as we're getting off the air at six point
thirty on the dot truck Russ, if you're listening, just
when we're getting off the air, Rob, around six oh
eight is when the game will begin.

Speaker 7 (42:55):
Blue Jays Mariners in Seattle.

Speaker 2 (42:59):
And this is for all the proverbial marbles. Well, no,
this would be not yet right. No, I thought it
was best of five. I thought it was seven for them.
I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm thinking of Yeah, okay, well
listen either way, man, this is a it's a. The
momentum is in their core. Yeah, I still love a

(43:20):
Game five AnyWho. So, yeah, they will play tonight, Game
six on Sunday, and then Game seven, and it's bad
news for your brothers Brew crew. Oh I know.

Speaker 3 (43:31):
Oh they're screwed, man, I know, down three nothing to
a team like the Dodgers. I know, yeah, that's happened
once getting shut out, but I am less concerned about
that and more concerned about.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
The Blue Jay.

Speaker 3 (43:47):
It just means whoever wins out of the American League
is who you're rooting for, because nobody want I don't
want to see the Dodgers win.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
I don't like that.

Speaker 3 (43:55):
So either Seattle or Toronto, I'm gonna be perfectly happy
with the World Series.

Speaker 2 (44:00):
I just don't know that anybody can beat l A.

Speaker 7 (44:03):
How about the Bengals fans chanting thank you Cleveland.

Speaker 2 (44:06):
Oh ultimate kicking the pecker huh After Joe Flecco beats
the Steelers, thank you Cleveland over the Steelers, And if
you can here, it's the same.

Speaker 7 (44:20):
Thank you Cleveland.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Clap clap, clap, clap, Yeah, thank you Cleveland. Mike Tomlin,
of course, longtime coach of the Steelers, goes, I don't
know what they were thinking, but okay, yeah, I don't.
I don't think anybody knows what they were thinking.

Speaker 7 (44:37):
Well, let's go down the list.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
Baker Mayfield leaves Cleveland, starts killing it, Joe Flacco leaves Cleveland,
starts killing it.

Speaker 3 (44:43):
Well, and he's and he's like, it's just on paper.
He shouldn't, you know, But yeah, he sures a rob
Max sures. That's a different hip story, right. It was
so funny Schneider leaving the dugout thinking and he's pulling them. Yeah,
oh bitch, nope, go back to your home.

Speaker 2 (45:06):
Somebody's comment was Joe Flacco's annual good game, like well, yeah,
well great, yeah, guess what he has that we don't
an AFC win. Yeah yeah. To be honest, it was
shocking to me.

Speaker 15 (45:23):
Andrew Barry must be a lot smarter than me or us,
because it doesn't make sense to me to trade a
quarterback that you think enough of to make your opening
the day starter to a division opponent that's hurting in
that area.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
But that's just my personal feelings. That's my personal feelings.
Michael Tomlin esquire. So, oh, by the way, being of
the Browns, Larry Williams died. I remember how many people
remember Larry Williams. He went deep in the draft. Boy,
but he played for the Cleveland Browns back in the day.
And apparently this dude was working out and cacked out

(45:59):
right there in the gym. He was the athletic director
at the University of San Francisco and he was working out,
young guy sixty two and he was working out on
campus and it sounds like he had a heart attack
and died right there. But he was He's from California.
But the Browns drafted him in the mid eighties, and

(46:21):
so he played for them for a couple of season
and then he kind of bounced around the league a
little bit. But then I think he like became a
lawyer after he left the NFL. But then he went
back to being an athletic director. He was at the
University of Akron. I think for a minute, and boy,
that's no way to go, now what I would you know,

(46:43):
in the initial reporting, they'll kind of give you the
broad strokes, but in the days that follow, people who
follow up on these things they'll say, well, here's the
cause of death. I would like to know what exercise
he was doing when he kicked out? You know, a
clean jerk. You gotta say that for Fabruary Fatbuary. He

(47:06):
appeared in sixty one NFL Games, forty four career starts.
But some people might remember him with the Cleveland Browns,
and he got his law degree at Notre Dame, I
believe in the late nineties and then kind of bounced
around being athletic director at a handful of schools, including
the University of Akron. But people might remember the name

(47:29):
Larry Williams still a young dude. Isn't that the guy
who calls us all the time?

Speaker 9 (47:35):
That is?

Speaker 2 (47:36):
I'm sorry? Who is that?

Speaker 7 (47:39):
Isn't that Larry? Isn't that Larry Williams? Larry Williams?

Speaker 4 (47:43):
Now?

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Are you thinking of General Larry Platt? The pants on
the ground.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
Who's the guy that calls us all Walter Williams?

Speaker 2 (47:52):
Hello, ther name is Larry Platt?

Speaker 5 (47:55):
My name General?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yes? General?

Speaker 15 (48:00):
Okay, I gonna say my song called pants on the
grounds on the ground.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
Pants on the ground, to the pants up?

Speaker 14 (48:10):
All right?

Speaker 2 (48:11):
Okay, okay, ran on straight.

Speaker 13 (48:17):
Pants on, pants on the prowl in your mouth, characters
out way, pants on the crown, pants.

Speaker 2 (48:31):
On, looking like a fool. I don't think that's the
guy who calls us No, No, I don't think so.
All right, remember General Larry Platt, General Larry Platt. Yeah,
that guy's long dead, right, I think so it has
to be General Larry Platt twenty ten. Okay, an American idol.

(48:56):
Pants on the ground was his song, and boy they
loved him. That's of course our little remix there, but
American Idol fans from way back. He was kind of
in the you know, the beginning part of the season
where they're just showing the people who have no chance whatsoever.

Speaker 13 (49:14):
Of the way pant hit the ground, cars off a
cool account, looking like.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
A fool walking down town with your pants on the
Hey didn't you pasts off the pray look at like
a fool? Yeah, poor Randy Jackson is gonna sit like
Jesus Christ. Why this is interesting?

Speaker 7 (49:34):
Yeah, that's when Mary J. Blige was one of them.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
That's a no for me. Dog the Elan Cox.

Speaker 6 (49:39):
Show on one hundred.

Speaker 16 (49:45):
If he sounds super excited to see you, hey, what's up?

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Remember he is a paid performer as a broadcaster.

Speaker 7 (49:52):
He's real good.

Speaker 6 (49:53):
Alan Cox on one hundred point seven double m MS.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
I got more money for it in about nine minutes
nixt keyword to grab a thousand dollars from the buzzard bookie.
And then about ten minutes after that, closer to three
forty last pair of tickets. You want to go to
Youngstown Monday. See they're in Daughtry and pod pretty good.

(50:29):
I got a message from Ashley, she's one of our
bureau chiefs. Listens on the iHeartRadio app in Ocean City, Maryland,
and she goes, look what they're doing out here, and
they're looking for The police there in Ocean City, Maryland
apparently didn't realize how many volunteers they get when they

(50:52):
said they wanted people to smoke weed for impairment training.
I don't know how you'd miss that one, but okay,
Ocean City, Maryland police overwhelmed by the number of people
who they said they wanted to volunteer for a cannabis
impairment training event. They only had a dozen slots for participants,

(51:16):
and obviously that filled up very very quickly. The cops
there in Ocean City, Maryland want to look at people
getting impaired in real time as part of a DUI
training session that's going to happen next weekend. And the
apparently the local constabulary was like, oh, golly, we didn't

(51:37):
know that we'd have this many people.

Speaker 7 (51:39):
How would you not know that?

Speaker 2 (51:40):
It doesn't matter where you are, They don't know that
they were going to get that many people, way more
than the dozen slots that they had helping officers recognize
the signs of impairment. They said, hey, twenty one and over.
Obviously we're going for about a dozen people, and of

(52:01):
course they filled up completely. Imagine the very first person
to get in there. So you just kind of clicking around.

Speaker 7 (52:07):
Maybe they don't even know. They're just kind of going
about their business.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Online and they stumble across the Maryland Highway Safety Offices
Facebook page and it's just been posted.

Speaker 7 (52:18):
Just coincidental that they got on there. Oh either hmm.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
They're doing a DUI conference and they're looking for volunteers
to smoke weed, because you know, nothing's more fun than
getting high in a controlled environment. But I just like
the notion that they, golly, we didn't know that many
people want to smoke weed. You didn't, Oh, you didn't
think that would happen. You didn't think that would happen
real time cannabis impairment. Shuttle and lunch will be provided. Yeah,

(52:48):
better shuttle and lunch gives me an idea for that.
How about snacks? Piles of snacks will be provided. We
don't want them driving, and we'll give you lunch. What's that?

Speaker 3 (53:00):
It gives me an idea for us. We bring somebody
in and do that. Yeah, we could do cannabis. We
could do by somebody. You mean you and me booze
the next day. Have somebody see how many drinks it
takes before were impaired? How many things of kinna us.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
The first couple of years I was in Cleveland here
at MMS, we used to do a Saint Patti's Day
bar crawl. It was all the RMG crew and then
it was us and we would get on a party
bus and we'd go out and we'd all party and
it was so fun. We haven't done it in a
long time, but it was like one of my favorite
things to do because we'd all hang out together, which

(53:40):
we don't really have an opportunity to do that very often.
But the first couple of years I was here and
we did that. For whatever reason, I came back to
do a show. I said, oh, we should still be
on the air. I don't know.

Speaker 7 (53:53):
I was trying to be a cool guy. I was
new I was eating whatever.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
But as a result, the people on my show at
the time would get hammered and I would have to
hold back. Oh because yeah, so I'm like, why are
we doing this? Yeah? So then I obviously RMG would
be off the air and then we all you know,
And I got over that real fast. Didn't Someone puke
at a bus?

Speaker 17 (54:16):
Was it?

Speaker 5 (54:16):
Bill?

Speaker 13 (54:17):
Who?

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Who got sick?

Speaker 13 (54:18):
He?

Speaker 2 (54:20):
Yeah, he puked at a bush. Okay, we got back.
I think it was a polar one of the bar
crawls or polar blasts or something.

Speaker 9 (54:25):
You know.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
We came back in the limo and he it was
when we were in Independence and he fell asleep on
the front lawn there outside the outside the building. It
puked at a bush and I ended up I think
taking his friends home to Parma or something.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
I was like, he'll be fine. Yeah, he fell asleep
in the bush. I remember he had the when you
guys had a party bus bring you to Polar Blast.
When I first started and I bought a bunch of
pizzas and stuff and he walked in and Bill Goest's
put him over there. He was already hammered bottle of something.
That's what it was. Yeah, it so funny. I'm like,

(55:00):
this dude's rock.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
His girlfriend at the time she had a big flask
of ninet nine bananas. I was like, oh, this is dynamite. Yeah. So,
needless to say, I loosened up in subsequent years. I
was like, I'm not going back to do a show.

Speaker 7 (55:12):
A show is that?

Speaker 2 (55:13):
I just remember one year we got back from the
Saint Patty's a bar crawl.

Speaker 7 (55:17):
That show.

Speaker 9 (55:21):
Was.

Speaker 2 (55:21):
I had a friend in from Denver, so she just
sat in the studio quiltly to watch what was going on.
Jeane Simmons was on the show that day, Nikki six
was on the show, and there was like a third person.
I have three guests that damn Like So anyway, I
mean again, I didn't get wrecked because I had to
do the show, but it was after that I was like,
why am I doing this? Jeane Simmons. For my daughter's

(55:45):
twenty first birthday, her birthday's a week after mine, and
so she turned twenty one this past summer and I
got her a shrink wrapped two dozen airplane bottles of
ninety nine bananas, like as a goof, I said, hey,
you're gonna be turned twenty one, what do you want
to drink? And I think she was She and her

(56:05):
like roommates or whatever. She lives with like six other
girls on campus. She's at Michigan State, and I think
that they had dabbled in ninety nine bananas, so I
think probably half joking, She's like, oh, ninety nine bananas,
and I'm like, that's heinous, but okay. So I found
like this shrink wrap thing of like two dozen bottles,
and then last time I saw her, she's like, yeah,
we went through like a couple of those, and I
think the rest of them, we don't know where they went. Like, yeah,

(56:29):
it's pretty harsh. I didn't imagine that was going to
be a crowd pleaser. You know, by the time people
turned twenty one, they already you're never gonna believe this,
they've already been drinking. Really yeah, listen, now, I wasn't
one of those people. You know, people are like, who
was your twenty first birthday? Like, I don't even I
was working. I was on the air, Yeah, exactly. I

(56:49):
don't even remember my twenty first birthday. It was June
twenty third, nineteen ninety two. Well, I know what I
was doing.

Speaker 9 (56:56):
I was.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
I was interning on a morning show in Chicago. So
they probably had me out doing something stupid. But the
point is I worked my entire birthday.

Speaker 11 (57:03):
Now.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
I wasn't really drinking anyway, I didn't really. I didn't
really start drinking though I was twenty six, but but
occasionally I would have a drink. I just wasn't a
I wasn't a seasoned drinker. Yeah, I was out.

Speaker 3 (57:17):
I got called in or the overnight guy at the
radio station was sick. Uh it was so you had
been drinking and yeah, yeah yeah it was like eleven o'clock.
We had just gone out, you know what I mean? Yeah,
and uh March ninth, two thousand, Yeah was the date, and.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Like, hey, can you come in? And I was never
going to say no to win air shift, you know
what I mean. I wanted this job.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
So I went in and I turned twenty one in
two thousand, two thousand. Rights make well, I was born
yees seventy nine. I know, I just forget your eight
years behind me. Yep, yeah, so that was Uh. I
went in, I did my shift, I was I was
great the first three hours. Yeah, I'm still I'm kind
of buzzed by.

Speaker 7 (57:57):
Hey, three o'clock. Hit Hey the clear what's going on?

Speaker 4 (58:01):
No?

Speaker 7 (58:01):
Three am?

Speaker 2 (58:02):
That's what it did right there? Yeah, and he still
hit the post right. Oh yeah, man, give it at
three in the morning, like, who cares? Right, you give
me any of those soft rock favorites. Man, I'll bring
the post all day long. I don't have to look anymore.

(58:25):
I played those songs so many goddamn times I could
muscle memory. Oh god. Yeah, and I haven't done that
twenty years.

Speaker 9 (58:34):
No.

Speaker 2 (58:34):
Friends of mine would show up drunk after the bars
when I was doing weekend overnights and the radio station
I was working at was in an old ranch house,
and so the studio was in this huge back room
where the other three walls were just windows. And because
the studio is all lit up, I couldn't see what
was going on out there, right because it's so it
would just reflect from inside the studio. And so friends

(58:55):
of mine, around three am on a Friday overnight, I'm
I'm pulling CDs and I'm getting the next thing ready
or whatever. And they would show up drunk and they'd
start banging on the windows and I'd crap my pants
every time because I can't see out the window.

Speaker 7 (59:12):
Holy Christ, Yeah, we had it. We just goun kun
kung kong kung. I'm like, oh okay. Our station was
in the ghetto.

Speaker 2 (59:19):
Oh god.

Speaker 3 (59:20):
It was a north end bridge in Springfield, Massachusetts. There's
a like a truck stop there now. They tore the
station down a few years ago, but there was a
there was a restaurant right next door that turned into
a dance club at night. So all the time we
would see like lights come into our parking lot, the cameras,
you know, and people just be porking in the parking

(59:40):
lot for hours after the bars would close. Yeah, and
then we'd be like, okay, good, but be outside smoking cigarettes.
You just see, you know, the vans are moving around.
It's so funny, porking in the parking lot.

Speaker 2 (59:49):
It's one of my favorite Motley Crue songs, porking in
the parking.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
Yeah that of course some of w have I all right, Yeah,
people would stop by all the time. You know, I'd
be I'd smoking a Butty'd be, hey, man, listen, can
I see you inside? Like, of course, think about the
safety things back then versus that I have people in.
We'd be hanging out, chicks would come by all the time,

(01:00:18):
like a little party going.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
I'm still smokingside, yeah, they smoking cigarettes. No, I was pretty,
I was great. I was by the book. Oh I
was not. I was a rebel on a radio station
playing Celine Dion songs. Babay all good.

Speaker 7 (01:00:31):
I mean, you had to make it bearable.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
I did. Yeah, Alan, I waited until my twenty first
birthday to get drunk, and it was great.

Speaker 7 (01:00:39):
No, all right again, I got dreena.

Speaker 2 (01:00:41):
I didn't drinks because I got hammered when I was
fifteen and I vomited all night and I was on
red wine, which is why I didn't drink wine. And
I was like, I'm not doing this again. And I
smoked a lot of weed obviously, but it was like,
I did not drink again regularly until until I got

(01:01:02):
into radio. Right, and You're doing appearances at bars and
I'm like, oh, I can't do this sober. But I
didn't know what my drink was. I had friends who drank.
I didn't know what my drink was. I think I
started literally the first thing that I drank regularly were
like vodka, cranberries.

Speaker 7 (01:01:20):
Does I didn't know anything about anything.

Speaker 3 (01:01:21):
I was always a beer guy up until ten years ago.
It's all I drank was beer. But I I think
that's silly. Waiting until you're twenty it's like waiting until
you're twenty one to have your first drink is like
waiting until you're married to have sex.

Speaker 14 (01:01:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
I guess if you want to do that, fine, but everybody,
I mean, it's not even controversial anymore that people have
fake id's. And again I never had a fake ID.
But but if you wait till your everybody I knew,
did you know?

Speaker 3 (01:01:46):
Twenty one? You get drunk, you're like, oh, that sucks.
I don't want to do that again. You do it
when you're young. You get out of the way.

Speaker 2 (01:01:52):
Like the first time you had kish, you didn't like keisha,
keish in acquired taste.

Speaker 7 (01:01:56):
You keep drying like keish.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
Well, you just keep going until you get it right,
and you're like, Okay, that one's not that I like
it with a little feta cheese and spinach.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
Now you know how you like it?

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
Yeah, twenty one. Come on, somebody wrote let's have a
post off between rock.

Speaker 13 (01:02:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
I was looking at the list of the for October
or the back half of October. I was looking at
the list of the like of the day holidays or whatever. Yeah,
and today is pay Back a Friend Day, but I
read it as pay a Black Friend Day. So, like
on the front of my friend Jean this morning, I'm like, hey,
do I owe you money? He's like, why are you
calling me? I'm like, it's pay a Black Friend Day.

(01:02:32):
He's like, payback you racist?

Speaker 14 (01:02:34):
Back?

Speaker 6 (01:02:34):
Oh right?

Speaker 2 (01:02:36):
Like, how does you being black make me racist? Complain
to your parents not me? And I hung up on
with the quickness. I was like, you dick, trying to
pay you back. It's like, you know what, you don't
owe me money? Okay, Oh so that's not because you're black,
got it. I don't watch a lot of reality television,

(01:02:57):
but I if I'm going to, I prefer competition shows
to just screaming rich women. I guess people have different
parts of their brain that if they're prone to watching
reality TV. There are just certain kinds you like, and
some people love the ones where people are screaming at
each other. I cannot get into that, but I do
like the competition ones. There's ones called Traders that I like.

(01:03:20):
Alan Cumming is the host, and he's been on this
show a couple of times over the years for various
projects he's done. I've never had him on talking about Traders,
but I like that show and they do it. I
think this is another show that started in like Denmark
or something, and they've adapted it around the world, and
so there's different versions of it. They do in the UK,
but the version here in the United States is where

(01:03:42):
they take a variety of they send them over to
Scotland or something, and they're in a castle and they
there is a giant circle of like it's a mix
of actors and reality television stars and things like that,
and two of them are randomly chosen to or three
of them I think, are randomly chosen as traders. Alan

(01:04:04):
Cumming taps them on the shoulder and they are the traders,
but other people can't. So it's between the faithful who
are supposed to discover who the traders are and banish them,
and the traders, who are, unbeknownst to everyone else, trying
to win this money. At the end, I'm probably not
explaining it very well, but the fourth season of the

(01:04:26):
American version is I don't know when it's going to start,
but they've now. They announced the cast a couple of
weeks ago. Some people I know, some I don't. Comedian
Ron Funches is in there. I know him, Tery Lepinsky,
who I think is an Olympian actor, Michael Rappaport, he's
been on this show. He's going to be part of
the new season of Traders. Lisa Rinna. I think she

(01:04:47):
was a real housewife. Johnny Weir, Remember Johnny Weir. Yeah, yeah,
he was like an Olympic skater or something. Colton Underwood,
he is the bachelor who came out as gay afterwards.
He was a football anyway. I mentioned this because they
also do a British version. It's called Trader's UK, and
there's an actress on there who's part of the cast

(01:05:08):
named Celia Imri, who I didn't know the name, but
I immediately recognized her face because I've seen her in
a lot of films and shows.

Speaker 7 (01:05:17):
And she farted, and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:21):
I guess they turned it into a promo. I don't
know what they did, but she farted because she was nervous.
You know, they're trying to make it sound very dramatic, right.
Part of the fun of Traders is that Alan Cumming
is so campy on the show and his delivery, and
he comes out in these garish outfits and you know
what I mean that in the best possible way because
he pulls them all off. But the the UK version

(01:05:45):
of Traders, Celia Emory farted.

Speaker 17 (01:05:50):
That is welcome to the worst team building away day
experience in history. I just far.

Speaker 6 (01:06:09):
It's nerves.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
But I always I always not to guys settled. I
always own up to my far. I've just farted, farted.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
This will be the most dramatic excuse me, this will
be this particular challenge. Oh no, dear, excuse me. Everyone's
settled farted.

Speaker 2 (01:06:41):
Now it's down to three traitors and two faithfully and well,
but we would find out.

Speaker 7 (01:06:46):
Now, are you nervous?

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
Are you all right? Have you eaten more bangers? And
used to just come? Stop? And I'm so stupid when
I watch these shows that I buy them hook line
and singer. My wife worked in real television for a
long time, so she's like, they're not sleeping in this
castle because they're all on a castle, right, but they
when they the montage of them like going up the

(01:07:09):
steps at the end of the night and them settling
into bed and they're putting on their sleep mosques, She's like,
they're shit. They're shoveling them to a hotel. Oh my god,
it's a bummer. I mean, they're not sleeping in a castle.
I like to think of them sleeping in a castle.
And lo all thing about fought I've fought it and
I don't cow who knows this timiss my fault. I

(01:07:34):
have a very particular thing time.

Speaker 6 (01:07:38):
Oow the Allen Cox Show on one hundred point's call
the Allan Cox Show.

Speaker 4 (01:07:47):
Is this for real?

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Well, they're swearing in this all kinds.

Speaker 15 (01:07:50):
Of effing them, Jiffin, Are you really announce to broadcasting
some on the radio?

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
Two six seven eight one double o seven or one
three four.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
Eighty one double O seven. I am board the board.
I'm a living I'm living like a dog. Seems like

(01:08:30):
a pine tree in here. That's because of me.

Speaker 7 (01:08:32):
Spray something. No, I just ran into the men's room.
Oh did you bring in pooh?

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
No, they just did that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
Uh you brought that back with you, dude. The whole
bathroom right, like they sprayed it with that they age
and orange that bathroom. They hosed it down with bleach
and whatever that stuff is. Yeah, Like it almost gave
me a headache. It was so I mean, listen, I
am not complaining. No, by the way, clean is great,
but they nuked it. But boil boy, did they nuke it.
I think they just sprayed it ceiling to floor.

Speaker 2 (01:08:59):
Well, because I'm so nose blind to the pine air
freshener I have in here. I have like a plug
in that's always got that pine oil, just because I
love that smell. Except the only people who smell it
are people who come in here. They go, oh, it's
smell so good in here, And I don't ever smell
it because I smell it all the time, so I
just don't smell it anymore. But I was like, oh,

(01:09:19):
that must be what it's like when people come in
here from out there. What a fun little change in atmosphere.
You're welcome. Hmmm, Well, maybe you would have had a
better experience at fifteen if getting drunk on red wine
included some ice cream. Do you imagine that we were
talking about how red wine and ice cream is the

(01:09:39):
new like the supposedly viral thing dou jour yesterday. And
imagine if because the reason I got so drunk at
fifteen was I drank basically almost an entire box of
Phronsie red wine. That's how long Phronsia has been around, right,
My buddy's older I'm the oldest of four. I didn't

(01:10:01):
have an older brother getting me stuff. And my friend's
older brother was supposed to get us wine coolers. That
was gonna be our entree into alcohol. Because my parents
didn't really drink. I didn't grow up in a house
where people were drinking. You know, if my dad went
and played poker or something to have a beer, obviously
they weren't. You know today is national straight edge Dera.

(01:10:22):
It wasn't them at all. And my mom would have,
you know, some scotch on New Year's Eve or something
like that. But they were not drinkers in general. And
so as I got to be older, I came to
appreciate social drinking because I wasn't going to parties with
my parents obviously, so if they were out of New
Year's Eve or they were going to a friend's party,

(01:10:44):
occasionally they would drink. But I just didn't grow up
around it. So my friend goes, Oh, my brother's gonna
get us some wine coolers like Bartle's and James or
whatever was around then in the mid eighties. And his

(01:11:05):
brother goes, oh, yeah, I forgot, I forgot. I think
mom's got some wine. He throws a box of Phronsie
of wine. He's got the bladder inside in my friend's room.
We go all right, And so I drank most of
that box of wine. And I was eating Planters peanuts
the whole time. Whoops in my fifteen year old brain,
thinking well, the peanuts will soak up the wine. Again.

(01:11:28):
I know dick about anything when it comes to drinking
at fifteen. And uh, boy, that did not happen. Uh
that Uh that was not how any of that worked.
Just give you a little peanut projectiles when you were
puke and out of life.

Speaker 4 (01:11:41):
Sure did.

Speaker 2 (01:11:41):
I was on my knees in front of the toilet
all night with peanuts coming out of my nose. And
so I'm like, yeah, I'm not I have no interest
in doing this again anytime soon.

Speaker 12 (01:11:52):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (01:11:52):
But my other friends they sullied forth, boy, sallied forth.
They plowed forward and began years of drinking and I
guess with varying degrees of success. Alan, I just want

(01:12:12):
you to know I hate the show so much. Even
though the radio in my BMW doesn't work, I'm listening
through my phone. It's the only radio show I've ever
done this for, not even Rover. Well, Okay, thank you
so much. You should get if you're driving your bmwsh
you'd get the radio fixed. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:12:34):
My wife used to have a Beamer.

Speaker 2 (01:12:36):
Wagon and that thing was constantly in the shop. We
lived in Ohio City, and those are so low to
the ground, like if we got two inches of snow,
the thing would have to get towed.

Speaker 7 (01:12:46):
You gotta get rid of this car, Alan, You gotta listen.
You got to look up gator wine.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
I've heard of it.

Speaker 7 (01:12:54):
It's cheap red wine and blue gatorade.

Speaker 2 (01:12:56):
Listen. It is amazing the things that people will come
up with to get themselves lit up. Rich in Jacksonville,
Florida checks in with us pretty frequently, a lot of
times on the iHeartRadio app. What he sends me this time, however,
is al may I please present to you what might

(01:13:17):
be the greatest flatulence ever. It's a remix. I don't
know if you've seen this. There was a viral video
going around over the past couple of weeks of a
girl in like workout gear, workout top track pants, and
she's lying on the couch with her boyfriend and he's
paying attention to whatever is probably on television, and she's
filming because she is going to rip one and it's
impressive and it made the rounds, went viral and somebody asked,

(01:13:42):
or she said, would somebody please remix this into Satisfaction
by Benny Benassi. Now I don't know Satisfaction by Benny Madasi,
but I will take the purveyor herself of the flatulence
asking for a remix. I'll give you the video and
then the remakes of it.

Speaker 16 (01:14:04):
Jesus.

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
Now, the boyfriend looks over and she's down to like
winking one eye, and she's increasingly proud of herself, obviously,
and the look on his face is, yeah, this is
nothing weird with this monster that I live with. But
she's pleased with herself, and it keeps going and going
and going, yeah, laughing, and then this guy goes, Okay, fine,

(01:14:26):
I will remix this into that song. Since you've asked
so nicely. I mean, I'm waiting for the drug rat.

(01:14:55):
I'll tell you what, do we have a dance station here?
We are putting this into heavy road. No, but we
just talked about the music, Ben, Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:15:08):
I mean, imagine the work that it took for that
to come to fruition.

Speaker 2 (01:15:13):
If you will. Devotion to accuracy, this is what This
is what I want the Internet for, frankly right, and
I need people screaming at each other. I need people
remixing their farts. Yes, say again. I was just gonna say,
devotion to accuracy. I believe she was winking two eyes. Yes, indeed,

(01:15:33):
thank you? Yeah, so yeah, I like that a lot.
Thank you, rich down there in Jacksonville. Oddly one brown,
one blue. I think her eyes are brown. I think
they're both. I think they're all brown, all three. Yeah,

(01:15:54):
it just looks like that's what it looked like to me.
I don't know if that's the case. But walking backwards
is good for you. You know, it's no wonder that
people can't get a handle on their health because you're
constantly bombarded with competing messages. Right, don't eat eggs, Eat
more eggs. You're drinking too much water. You're not drinking

(01:16:15):
enough water. Milk is terrible for you. Drink a lot
of milk. Now it's walking backwards is good for you.
Most people aren't walking forwards well, I mean they are
to get around. It is primary method of personal conveyance.
But somebody wrote an article about how walking backwards could
be Is there a better metaphor, by the way, for

(01:16:37):
the current state of the nation than walking backwards, then
suggesting that people do this for their health. Walking backwards
can add to the benefits of walking forwards. People are
actually writing articles like this. I guess not everybody can
be covering the Israeli Godza situation. A professor at the

(01:16:59):
School of Health at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas.

Speaker 7 (01:17:04):
I mean, when you think the epitome of health, you
think Vegas.

Speaker 2 (01:17:08):
She's a professor and she says, hey, a lot of
people are always trying to figure out how they can
switch up their walking routine. You know, by now people
are familiar with they go, oh, ten thousand steps, But
then down the road they determined that that was just
basically a nice round number that people could remember, and
it really has no data driven connection. There's no connection

(01:17:28):
to ten thousand steps. It's just a matter of well
walking is good for you, And so this woman says, well, sure,
walking is good for you, why don't you try it backwards?
I don't know that I'm gonna do this. I like walking,
but they had to make it sound cool. Backward walking
also known as retro walking. No, it's not. No, you

(01:17:52):
just made that up because you're writing in or backward
walking also known as retro walking or reverse walking. Yea,
so reverse in, backward or synonyms. I don't think anybody,
what is your favorite workout routine?

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
What do you?

Speaker 17 (01:18:05):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (01:18:06):
I do some retro walking around the mall.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
When done safely, turning around not only provides a change
of view but also puts different demands on your body.
This is an actual thing somebody wrote. Now listen, I
think anything that makes people healthier that's good. Right. It's
like I was reading about somebody that was promoting an

(01:18:33):
otter yoga class in Cleveland. This is how much people
don't want to exercise. You have to come up with
all kinds of dumb crap to add to the most
fundamental exercises to get people interested. Otter yoga. Now, for
people who don't normally do yoga, it is much more challenging.

(01:18:54):
That you might think. Right, there's beginner yoga obviously, but
people who do a lot of yoga. It's really good
way of saying shape. But having an otter running around?
How about just the yoga? I mean you could do
that at your home. But this is what I'm saying.
It's how that's how much people don't want to exercise.
You've really got to zushit up for him. Want to

(01:19:15):
go do some yoga?

Speaker 14 (01:19:15):
M m m.

Speaker 7 (01:19:17):
What if they're otter running around?

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
All right? Now I'm in?

Speaker 7 (01:19:20):
What if we walk backwards to get there?

Speaker 14 (01:19:23):
Ah?

Speaker 2 (01:19:25):
I mean you're walking around with your mat under your arm.
Did you say something about otters? Because now I'm in again.

Speaker 7 (01:19:32):
I mean I was gonna do hot yoga.

Speaker 2 (01:19:35):
But if you're telling me that it's not hot yoga
but there are carnivorous mammals walking around me, then maybe
I'll go. And now I'm back in. And now I'm
back in. So listen, Like I said, anything that gets
people healthier, legitimately healthy, right, not doctor brainworm with his

(01:19:57):
You know, circumcision causes autism. I mean like actual data
driven you know health, nothing wrong with it. But I mean,
aren't otters?

Speaker 1 (01:20:10):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
Don't you got to keep an eye on them. I mean,
did I guess I didn't?

Speaker 16 (01:20:13):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:20:14):
We for my daughter's birthday last February, we took her
and some of her friends, like way South to one
of these farms where you can interact with the animals,
and they had otters. I mean, they had the option
if you booked a session to swim with the otters.
We didn't do that.

Speaker 7 (01:20:28):
But they're playing with otters.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
But I didn't get the notion that this was maybe
an animal that you could just let run around, especially
in a yoga class. Seem like you want to keep
an eye on an otter. I think so Again, I
know nothing about them other than the limited interaction I've
had with otters. But they're cute. But there's like goth
yoga now again, anything that gets people moving is good,

(01:20:54):
but you gotta you know, you gotta up or people
won't do it.

Speaker 7 (01:21:02):
Hey, you're gonna you want to go for a walk,
you want to do it backwards?

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Still not now? I want to do it less. Now
hot yoga, that's legit. I like hot yoga. I've done
it in a minute, but that's legit. Because don't get
me wrong, I love all that crap. I don't know
if that if that sensory depth tank is still there
in Lakewood, but I used to go over there all
the time, like sensory deprivation tanks, like the float pods,
all that stuff. It's all great. I don't need an

(01:21:31):
otter running around. And again, nobody's forcing you go to
otter yoga, but there have to be I wonder if
you have to get permits from like the Border Health
or something to do that. They're so cute, Well they're
super cute, but it's like, you know, ferrets are cute too,
but they're like the dicks of the animal kingdom. So
you're not gonna have a ferret running around razor sharp teeth. Yeah,

(01:21:51):
whatever you want running, I might get me there. I'm
not gonna go just to be hot. Well no, yeah,
you don't have to do bickram yoga. I'm just saying,
like yoga in general, I could do anything.

Speaker 9 (01:22:00):
Do it.

Speaker 3 (01:22:02):
With your rob put on these skin tight shorts and
then watch the otter and do the same thing he does.

Speaker 2 (01:22:09):
Yeah, but my question is how many otters? Right if
it's a big class, a couple dozen people and one hotter, Yeah,
you're watching the otter.

Speaker 14 (01:22:18):
You're not.

Speaker 2 (01:22:18):
Now you're gonna be You're gonna be focused on your thing,
and the otter is gonna be somewhere else in the
studio and you're gonna be like, well, this is less fun.
You gotta still be able to see it.

Speaker 7 (01:22:28):
That's how we got you here.

Speaker 3 (01:22:29):
Pedestal or something pedestal, Yeah, think, I mean, there's gotta
be something. You just have a hotter running around Alan.

Speaker 2 (01:22:37):
I've walked backwards on a treadmill because it helps my
sciatic back pain. How about that? My sciatica, Oh.

Speaker 1 (01:22:47):
God, God, Jesus and Baby Jesus, my big my sciatica
and ass, I'm walking backwards on a treadmill.

Speaker 2 (01:22:56):
Boy, you gotta be careful doing that. Bro, you better
put that on a two or three. You gotta go
wicket slow, yes and no incline. I'm walking backwards. By
the way, I'm playing Sciatica tomorrow night on two hours
to midnight, our weekly metal show. Their song is called, Uh,
You've got some Nerve. That was terrible, terrible, awful terrible.

(01:23:20):
So yeah, they do otter yoga, they do cat yoga,
they do all kinds of stuff to get people in there,
and uh, Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with that. You get
people in the door. Question is whether it costs more
if you are picking up the cost of that otter
otter food or you know, and you're a yoga guy,
I like yoga. Yeah, I don't do it as frequently

(01:23:42):
as I should, but I do like it.

Speaker 11 (01:23:44):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:23:44):
Now, what about the two things that the two main
things that will determine how healthy you are as an
older person, Strength and flexibility. It's that simple. You could
never be too strong and it's very hard to be
too flexible.

Speaker 7 (01:23:58):
But so you the hot yoga. I have done hot yoga, yes,
And it's.

Speaker 2 (01:24:04):
A very common thing that people fart the entire time
during yoga. Correct. That's why I think I attribute this
wave of girls on social media celebrating their farts to
yoga because they have come up in the yoga environment
where to your point, there's so much farting that the

(01:24:26):
stigma is removed. And so now you've just got girls
now that and guys are gross and women realize that they.

Speaker 7 (01:24:33):
Could make that's a lot of dudes kinks.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
There was just a big article in like some major publication,
The Atlantic or somebody did something about how yeah, a
lot of guys online their kink is girls farting.

Speaker 7 (01:24:49):
Really Yeah, see that's I couldn't be further from that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:54):
I'm with you, but I think anything that makes people less,
you know, nervous or whatever. But I attribute this wave
of female fart content online and them laughing at it
to yoga. Yeah, it's called a proctophilia. That's a fart fetish.
Oh it is. Yeah, Okay, yeah, that's the I mean,

(01:25:15):
it does the exact opposite for me. I don't like
that at all.

Speaker 3 (01:25:19):
But I don't fully understand though, if farts are always
based on temperature to stink ratio, right, if they come
out hot, it's gonna smell.

Speaker 7 (01:25:31):
Oh we talked about this, Yeah, right, if you're in
a hot.

Speaker 3 (01:25:34):
Yoga setting, isn't that gonna make it like ten times
worse if it's one hundred and fifty degrees in the room.

Speaker 2 (01:25:38):
I think some people who are so focused when you're
in hot yoga, unless you do it all the time,
it's so uncomfortable, it's so hot that I just think
any release real probably make you feel better. Again, I
don't ever recall farting in hot yoga, but I'm sure

(01:25:58):
it happens. Discover magazine online an article from ten years ago,
sexually aroused by farts.

Speaker 7 (01:26:06):
You're not alone ten years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
Really, I just don't get that at it.

Speaker 7 (01:26:14):
Oh, well, that's why there's a whole spectrum of kinks.

Speaker 2 (01:26:18):
Well, he has an ass for every seat, right, And
so you know, Brad was a twenty two year old
single man from Illinois with a bachelor degree and fine arts,
making a good living, and he had a fart kink.

Speaker 3 (01:26:36):
I guess that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Fine arts,
fine arts, fine arts. For a guy who has a
fart kink. It just goes together with what he's in.
That's probably why he needed to know what the word was.
I'm a proctophilia. What do you, sir, what do you

(01:26:57):
do for work? I'm in fine art. It's the person
writing just puts f dot arts. They're like, oh, he's
a fart guy. Yeah, totally into farts.

Speaker 2 (01:27:09):
So he kind of reverse engineered it, is what you're saying, right, Yeah,
well backed right into it, sure did so. Anyway, Yeah,
I don't know, but obviously it's very very common in yoga.
But that that that's kind of baked into the cake,
like they know that right, nobody's like.

Speaker 7 (01:27:24):
Oh my god, whoops?

Speaker 3 (01:27:26):
Yeah, but how does I don't know how people don't laugh?
And if somebody farts, I'm gonna laugh, you know, I mean, like,
how do you not?

Speaker 5 (01:27:35):
I don't know that.

Speaker 2 (01:27:36):
Ah, I don't know that.

Speaker 3 (01:27:38):
I would laugh in a yoga class. If you're in
a yoga class and they're like, okay, we're gonna do
uh what is it? Downward dog?

Speaker 9 (01:27:45):
Now?

Speaker 3 (01:27:45):
Okay, here's the here's the post, and you bend over
and someone blows a huge fart, you're not laughing.

Speaker 2 (01:27:52):
I wouldn't want to make them feel bad if they
feel weird about it, if they laughed.

Speaker 3 (01:27:58):
Oh dude, dear, is no holding back that. That's why
I can't probably ever go. I don't have the power
to not laugh at a fart. Hmmm, it's just gonna happen. Yeah, Sorry, Hey,
my bad. I didn't mean to laugh at you and
make you feel uncomfortable, but you farted, and it's my
right to laugh at that far.

Speaker 4 (01:28:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:18):
Like I said, I think any release, especially it was
hot yoga classes. Boy, I mean, you come out of
there just destroyed. Josh. You can't.

Speaker 7 (01:28:26):
Anybody doing camel yoga.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
That might be fun putting a camel toes person who
died a fart failure. I don't have that clip anymore. No,
I have the Swedish news anchor who farted when her
sign for monda Yeah, hey.

Speaker 15 (01:28:53):
Car show on.

Speaker 2 (01:28:55):
One all our women in uniform. I've been a lifelong
fan twenty years of military.

Speaker 9 (01:29:04):
Come back to sign your afternoons show is horrible.

Speaker 2 (01:29:09):
Thanks from the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 6 (01:29:11):
Horrible on one hundred point seven WMMS.

Speaker 2 (01:29:23):
Three five two. You want to send me a text,
By the way, I will have another one thousand dollars
for you in about ten minutes, So listen for that
next keyword. It's the second to last one today and
for the week. We'll fire it back up on Monday morning.
Grab a grand from the buzzard. Bookie Steve Byrne is
back the headliner for what would end up being the

(01:29:47):
final Alan Cox Show comedy tour twenty nineteen, really at
the Masonic because then COVID hit right and it was
all gone. I killed it. You well, you killed it,
but you didn't kill COVID killed it. Well, you killed it.
I came from Wuhan that weekend. I killed the country
and damn the club. I was patient zero. Josh Caderna

(01:30:11):
is with us as well. He is your He's featuring
for you over there at Hilarities this weekend. Josh, where
are you from? Let me get your CV very quick.

Speaker 7 (01:30:19):
Wuhan as well all the way around. The double whammy
is a word.

Speaker 2 (01:30:24):
That's what we call it. We all have radio voices.
I'm from I'm very sick. Now, I'm from Baltimore. Oh
well you mean Balmore, Balmore, you leave the tea out right, Baltimore. Yeah,
I came over here from Balmore via wu Han over
there via wuhn. Well it's different in coming from Pittsburgh, Doyle,

(01:30:45):
you come down off from Mount Washington. We got that wuhan,
you got that China food. How about those Penguins. I
know you're a big Penguins fan. I used to uh yes,
but I'm just saying yes, how about listen. Not everybody
can be killing it the way some teams are. My

(01:31:06):
Toronto Blue Jays are the last team they follow that
are even in this friggin thing. So you're not a Guardians,
I'm a well, the White Sox are my home team,
but they suck, suck, suck, so White sox on my
home team. Guardians are my B team. They were in
it now they're not, gotcha. Pirates are my other division team.

(01:31:29):
Yeah I know, okay, but the Blue Jays are like
my my the team that I follow, four teams that one,
and they're the only ones that are still in it.

Speaker 7 (01:31:37):
Right, So I'm over there rooting for the Blue.

Speaker 2 (01:31:39):
Jays and the only Canadian baseball team left, right, I mean,
uh yeah exposed. Yeah that's right, yes, correct, and football
team we lost one as well, so turnabouts, fair play.

Speaker 7 (01:31:56):
Here we go about him always. By the way, who's
that both of you guys?

Speaker 2 (01:32:01):
Yeah? Oh we do, don't wait?

Speaker 7 (01:32:03):
Yeah, and I'm an old man, how about this?

Speaker 2 (01:32:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:32:06):
Yeah, hold you, I'm fifty four?

Speaker 2 (01:32:08):
Are you really?

Speaker 7 (01:32:08):
Hell's yes? I like I like that you pretend you're surprised.

Speaker 2 (01:32:13):
I love that. I think we're in the same range.
But we're both gen xers. But I'm a little older
than you, just a just a tad. How old are you?
Fifty one? Yeah? So three years? I mean, Rob's like
forty eight.

Speaker 5 (01:32:26):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (01:32:26):
Roub forty eight?

Speaker 7 (01:32:28):
Forty seven, Josh, you're twenty eight?

Speaker 2 (01:32:30):
Hold of you thirty nine? Robs twenty two young, sun
block and just cigarettes. Look it looks horrible. Yeah it's not.
Absolutely red wine and ice cream. That's their dinner every night. Okay,
so quick question. So we're all of a generation spinal
tap two. Who saw it?

Speaker 7 (01:32:46):
I never even got around to it.

Speaker 2 (01:32:47):
It was apparently nobody saw it because it was gone
in like a week on gone. I just watched it,
So you never Oh I love it. I love spinal tap.
I want to I want to see it. I wanted
to see it in the theater. Is streaming already, you're
streaming already? Oh okay, well then I will watch it. Okay. See,
I'm the guy that didn't like Superman. I thought Superman. Yeah,
I could not get down the street from this Superman

(01:33:09):
hotel from they filmed everything like that. Yeah, I was
walking around when we were in town filming it, but
everybody was like, Superman's awesome.

Speaker 7 (01:33:16):
It's I'm in a distinct minority on that.

Speaker 2 (01:33:18):
I saw it in the theater and I go and
then it starts streaming, and I go, well, maybe I'll
give it another shot. Right, I got a half an
hour in I go for me, Yeah, it's like for kids,
it's the closest I'll come to popping a pill. Like
it is all over the map. There's so much going on, yes,
and it's very bright, and they go to that third

(01:33:39):
world or whatever. I was just like, I don't do drugs,
but I assume this is what this is must be
what like I went to Christopher Reeve and I'm here
watching this.

Speaker 7 (01:33:48):
I mean, I went so I understand what he was
trying to do.

Speaker 2 (01:33:51):
He's like, we want like a bright, positive Superman. But
in my mind as I'm watching Hi, I'm like, this
is for children, Like this is a great kids movie.
I could kno get into it, but apparently I'm one
of the very few people. Yeah, I'm in the middle.
My kids loved it. My kids love crypto. They love
the dog. They liked it.

Speaker 7 (01:34:10):
They came out of it like, oh, we love SuperM.
I was like, well, there you go, that's it.

Speaker 2 (01:34:12):
Yeah, that's right here. I hear the dog's a big party.

Speaker 4 (01:34:15):
Oh the dog.

Speaker 2 (01:34:15):
You didn't try to get your kids into crypto. Oh
that's good. I was gonna say, Oh, you're always on
the middle. I love crypto.

Speaker 7 (01:34:23):
Everybody's gonna be on crypto.

Speaker 16 (01:34:26):
You know, I love money. Everybody knows I love money.
And I love technology. Nobody knows technology like I know technology.
Any crypto is the new front deer. Speaking of all,
I'm gonna love stay Burns from Muhan. I saw you,
What did they see you on? Where you made the
Jefferson David we were you?

Speaker 4 (01:34:46):
Just not?

Speaker 2 (01:34:46):
It was a Fox team show. I was on Late
Saturday Night with jim Ifallia. Okay, so I see this
and I felt for you because two weeks ago I
made some dumb Jefferson Davis joke. Well I'm here, so
I don't hear anything. Right, there's nobody groaning or anything.
You were in a live room and it was like

(01:35:07):
crickets crickets. Yeah, now that's a deep cut. It's a
deep deep cut. But you think on Fox, you think
that crowd jeff we love him. It's like that's Jesus
Christ for Fox. Mewers Jefferson Davis. But Jimmy said that
his his dog's or his son's name is Lincoln. Yeah,
because he named him after Abraham Loss And oh my
son is actually with me. We named Tom Jefferson Davis

(01:35:28):
Byrne and it's just a whoosh sucks. So who is
that guy? Who's that host? I don't know who that
is Jimmy. So the reason I know Jimmy, Jimmy literally
was in late nineties, early two thousands a cab driver
that did stand up, so he'd literally pull up to
the club, throws carn park, turned the light off, run

(01:35:48):
inside to a set, throw the meter back on, and
hit the road. And so so you knew him before this.
I don't keep him wack in the day. So now
he's like ascended. Now he's a big talking head on
Fox News. So I do his show probably once a month,
and I do Gutfeld once a month, and it's crazy.
I mean, Josh and I have talked about this multiple
times because you know, I'm very politically independent, but I

(01:36:09):
think the minute you do gut Feled, people think, oh,
you're hard and conservative. And I was my question, just
like I'll go do anything like Roywood. Junter is one
of my good pals. He's never asked me to do
a show. I've submitted two or three times to Colbert.
I haven't gotten on for whatever reason, but it's not
for lack of trying on my end. I certainly would
go and do panel or stand up on foul and

(01:36:31):
or any of them. The problem is these days, I
think that it is divisive, and it's this zero tolerance.
It's almost like we can't give platform to anybody that
might disagree or have a difference of opinion, or not
only difference of opinion, but just a difference in terms
of diversity of thought.

Speaker 7 (01:36:52):
Which is why I appreciate Bill Maher.

Speaker 2 (01:36:55):
I watched Bill Maher weekly and he really is somebody
that will be abjective. And I think I'm I'm probably
closest a line to Bill Maher than anybody I've seen
in these because I have Bill on this show a
couple of times every year, and not even objective, just
somebody who's not necessarily shut down to everything, you know,

(01:37:16):
because people go why to your point, people go, well,
why can't we just get a broader spectrum of whatever?
And you go, that's a great theory, but people are
really siloed and networks are just given people what they're
coming to see. So it's kind of like incumbent upon
us to figure that out. Ye, Rather than the reverse engineering,

(01:37:36):
it's like the business dynamic. I spent five years studying
Johnny Carson, like literally studying Johnny Carson, like Jeff Ross,
studied the art of the roast. Yeah, he would literally
go to museum at television radio and before the Internet,
he was watching all the Dean Martin Rose, so he
was literally watching it constantly and studying it. So I
studied Carson, I studied, you know, and then just to

(01:37:59):
try to emulate the writing style of a lot of
those late night writers. And so I started getting into
this late night monologue style that I really love doing,
and it's really fun to do. You integrated into your
specials and everything, integrated in the specialist and everything. But
now I'm getting death threats. My wife is getting affected
because of the live show or because of what I

(01:38:20):
put online, because you know, I made a joke about
Mitch Mcconnody the other day, but people will instantly fly
over that. A lot of the I got, to be
honest with you, A lot of the hatred, a lot
of the vich you all comes from.

Speaker 7 (01:38:33):
Left liberals, I understand.

Speaker 2 (01:38:34):
Does I never had that from the right, and even
my friends in entertainment on the right, I never had it.
But a lot of I'm getting texts over the last
two years. I just got one the other day from
a good friend of mine who's a comedian that's very left,
just saying, what's happening? Are you conservative? I'm hearing like
you're all I'm like, no, I'm me. I'm independent. I
like to make jokes about everybody, and I think if

(01:38:56):
you come to see the shows especially, it is fairly balanced.

Speaker 7 (01:39:00):
Especially in the monologue stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:39:02):
I try to hit the left and the right for
as much as I I will, maybe even to a
point like defend Trump. Then the next half half I'm
actually kind of like doing the converse on Trump, where
I'm going to the opposite and swinging the pendulum and
having fun with him. So I do try to keep
it very balanced when I do the show because I'm

(01:39:22):
held accountable nightly by people to come to the shows.
And when I see them leaving and I'm asking them,
did you have a great time tonight? Was it great?
Because I put everything out, they all seemingly have a
great time. I think the problem is these days, when
you put something on social media, your pigeonholed into one
sector because that's all they remember. They don't remember the

(01:39:43):
other ones that I made. I just made fun of
the turning point halftime show, and that joke went viral. Yeah,
but I won't get any pats on the back. I
won't get any like, hey, good job on that joke.
It's just why do you do this? Why do you
do that? How are you just like guys? But that's
what I mean is also like the algo is feeding
people like it's picking out, you know, and so it's
like you got to reverse engineer at all most of

(01:40:06):
the point where it's like you got like I follow
Fox News, I follow like all, I'm a progressive, I'm
as liberal as they come. Yeah, But so I was
really am I didn't go too deep into it, but
people were asking me about that Riat Comedy Festival, and
obviously I had no direct connection to it, but I
was really ambivalent about it because on the one hand,
I'm like, I understand why comics were doing this, right,
because they're like, well, you know, uh, we're bringing our

(01:40:29):
culture to them or whatever. And by the way, this
is not an unprecedented situation. American comics have been doing
the mi add least for a while now. Yeah, I mean,
so you know, it's usually a USO tour, though it is,
but they've been I don't know that there's been a
comedy festival, but a lot of those guys, like Louis,
and they've done shows over their be course, you know
what I mean. So it's not like they were breaking
the seal on this thing. Yeah, but I also understood

(01:40:50):
people that were like, yeah, that is blood money and
blah blah blah.

Speaker 7 (01:40:55):
It was a real weird thing.

Speaker 2 (01:40:56):
Louis was on Bill Maher and he's like, you know,
he was pretty uh, he was pretty candid about the
whole thing. Yeah, and I think I think, look, it
was a paydate. A lot of them couldn't refuse. And
Bill Burr's saying, oh my god, the royal family, they
they were awesome. It's like, yeah, so was Beijing. When
when you go to the Olympics, like they clean the

(01:41:17):
streets up. They literally it's like they clean the whole
Of course they're going to roll out the red carpet,
make you feel welcome. But go there, Go there on
a Tuesday when the festival is not happening. Go to
an American city when it's not having the super Bowl.
Like yeah, years ago when the Steelers, I was still
on in Pittsburgh and I was doing a week of
shows from Detroit because the super Bowl that year, like

(01:41:38):
six O seven was at Ford Field in Detroit.

Speaker 7 (01:41:41):
It was the Steelers and the Seahawks, I think, and.

Speaker 2 (01:41:43):
Boy, they put every homeless person inside. They were like
building facades and shelters for super Bowl week to get
people off the street. So Detroit looked awesome. But I
mean that's a different you know, that's a sliding scale.
But I mean they do those kinds of things that
your best face forward. Of course, of course, my disparity
or issue with the folks that did the RII Comedy Festival, right, yeah,

(01:42:06):
I have a lot of friends and even a lot
of people that were my friends that are on that mosaic.
I saw that poster. I know people that are in
front of me. I know people that's blocked me. I
know people that un followed me. I know people on
that poster that I was very tight with. The don't
talk to me anymore because seemingly I make jokes about
their side. But you're also not some like sooner right wing,

(01:42:31):
That's what I'm saying. So I'm cure I'm surprised, because
if you get a bunch of comedians into a room, right,
they'll usually find kind of uh, they'll find sea level.

Speaker 7 (01:42:43):
Yes, you know, what I mean, you know, is it funny?

Speaker 2 (01:42:46):
Is it not funny? That kind of right? Right, So
I'm surprised that's what you're getting. That sucks. Yeah, I've
gotten it. I've gotten vitriol and malice from my friends
that are hard and left hard and left right. And
it's almost like I would analogize it to like the
trans debate, right, It's like, well, here's my perspective on
trans as a parent, right, Yeah, Well you can't say that.

(01:43:08):
It's like, but why can't I have a difference of
a pinion? Well, that's hate speech. It's like, it's not
hate speech, it's an opinion, you know. And I think
another part of it these days as being a comedian
is I'm being held responsible for comments people make in
the comments section. That's the other issue is like you're
enabling this hatred. It's like, no, I'm posting a joke,

(01:43:29):
You're going into the comments section, you're reading it. You're
poking the Horne's nest. Now they're all coming after you.
And by the way it goes, it flips every other day.
The petulum flips are, you know, dependent on what I write.
So I just I think it's unfair to like in
this day and age of social media, et cetera, et cetera,
being held accountable and responsible for the things other people saying.

(01:43:51):
When I'm just posting a joke. You know, the joke
may be something you'd disagree with, but it's never done
out of like I have malice or yeah thing, it's
just like it's at the end of the day, a
joke that I tried. My barometer is could I do
this on a late night talk show?

Speaker 3 (01:44:08):
That's it.

Speaker 7 (01:44:10):
Josh Baltimore is known for crabs.

Speaker 2 (01:44:12):
Right, I do have crabs. I didn't think we're going
to talk about it, but yeah, I know that might
be a hip of violation. But nevertheless, Steve Burn and
Josh Caderna are doing the weekend at Hilarities. If you
go to hilarities dot com you will see all of
the details there six thirty and nine to fifteen tonight,
six thirty and nine to fifteen tomorrow night. Now, we've

(01:44:33):
talked about this all year long, fortieth anniversary of Hilarities. Right.

Speaker 7 (01:44:38):
An icon in the comedy club business nic Costas.

Speaker 2 (01:44:41):
Right, there is an a comedian that comes through that
is anything more than glowing about Hilarities as an establishment
for the fortieth anniversary. This is why they bring in
big guns like Steve Byrne. This is why you know
Louis came through to do a one night or a
while ago. Pete Davidson comes in, Neil and comes in.
They go, what is Steve byrn doing? Lives in Nashville,
Now go get him right They bring him in with

(01:45:04):
Josh for the shows this weekend and very excited. Well,
I just got done at a gun range with Kid Rock,
so I'm more than happy to be here. It's a
lot of wasted beer. That's a real that's a real shame. Yeah,
by the way, inside here between you and me. But today,
our friend Sean McDowell turns seventy years old. Wow, seventy seventy.

(01:45:24):
He retired to Vegas many years ago. Last I was
out there. He is a fantastic but looks awesome, still
looks exactly the same. Yeah, seventy today, that's getting high
every day all day. Seventy is the new fifty four.
That's what they say. You know, I've heard that. I
did hear that. We have these conversations about, like, you know,
life extension technology, not just within the Alex Jones Sphere

(01:45:46):
or whatever. But I mean, you know you're constantly seeingty
hook with between Ai and all these other things. Right,
I'm just hoping that I can hang on long enough
where they go, take this pill and you get another
fifty years. I don't care if I take you to
do it. Absolutely, yes, you'd stick around front the other

(01:46:07):
fifty I think. So, I mean, I'm in good, nothing hurts, right,
I'm fifty four. I take pretty good care of myself.
I'm an old dad. I mean, I have two older kids,
but I have a fourth grader, and so it's like
I'd like to stick around long enough for that. But
also it's like the vampire movies. Right, you want to
get bit when you're like twenty one. You don't want
to get bit when you're nine. Here'son Dunst. You don't
want to get bit when you're seventy, right, No, you

(01:46:28):
want to get bit in your prime. Yeah, fifty four
is no one's prime. It's like not old. But you know,
if you die still got it, you're still young. Only
if you die at fifty you got a head of hair.
Well hold on that. I'd argue I could, but you say,
old Toby Keith song. I as good as I once was,
but I'm as good once as I'll ever be.

Speaker 4 (01:46:47):
Right.

Speaker 7 (01:46:47):
Isn't that something like that?

Speaker 17 (01:46:48):
Yeah? Like that?

Speaker 7 (01:46:49):
Yeah, yes, Nashville still Steve Byrne.

Speaker 2 (01:46:51):
Everybody. I'm the oldest I've ever been, and I'm the
youngest I'll ever be. Right now?

Speaker 7 (01:46:59):
Is that burnaked lady?

Speaker 4 (01:47:00):
What what is that?

Speaker 7 (01:47:00):
It might be yeah, okay, it might make George Wash
Yeah it might have been. Jefferson Davis, Jefferson Davis. Is
there we go?

Speaker 2 (01:47:10):
Yes, we go, Nathan Hale. I regret that I have
but one life to give for my country, and I'm
the youngest I'm ever gonna be again. You know, they
never get the fox that head of hair. You should
travel everywhere horseback. Who says, I don't you know what?
It's that damn anti horse legislation that's sweeping its way
through Ohio. You gotta get you gotta have those Mariah

(01:47:32):
Carey fans. When guests come in and it just blows
and ripples through your hair. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot
that blows around here. It's rippling through my hair. Listen, Josh,
from one hair farmer to another, I mean, congratulations, thank you,
fast how are the children. By the way, Steve Burne,
kids are good. They gotta be old thirteen. It's a

(01:47:53):
silly thing to say teenager. You have a teenager. I
have a teenage.

Speaker 3 (01:47:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:47:58):
She is as paint in the butt. Yeah, she's at
that age now where it's like, oh boy, here we go, Masphora. Yeah.
The Aviator Nation we're in Vegas. Sweatshirt. Do you know
how much an Aviator Nation sweatshirt is? I have a
hoodie and it was one hundred and seventy five dollars. Yeah,
and it's not even good.

Speaker 4 (01:48:17):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (01:48:18):
It's solid. Bro, I love Aviator Nation. Do you really?

Speaker 12 (01:48:21):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:48:22):
Why best hoody I own? Come on, there's a lot
of things you pay a ton of money for and
then you get them and you're like, this kind of sucks.
It's just I think Aviator Nation, at least the couple
of items I've gotten from them, they are of course
over priced, but.

Speaker 7 (01:48:37):
But they're solid. I think you're solid. Yeah, So it's
the wy Goose Steak of sweatshirts.

Speaker 2 (01:48:42):
As far as I'm concerned that, you know, I'm no epicure,
but I mean, as far as hoodies go, pump up
the seat you know, as far as I'm concerned, Yeah right,
I mean, why would I hide this hair under a hood?
You know, no wearing hats or anything? Josh knows. Yeah,
of course that a hat. You guys should be in
a band and I'll be the keyboard player. I mean,

(01:49:03):
that's really what's happened. Like, why the keyboards because the
keyboard player is always in the back over here and
tell that to John Tesh.

Speaker 7 (01:49:12):
Not cool? Okay, this guy round ball rock? Yeah, you're you.
You're in a band, Josh?

Speaker 2 (01:49:18):
Is that the deal? Yes? Or you're musically and what's
your band? Bands called gist? Okay, I would prefer Jizz,
but just I guess is that j I S team.
That's a lot of g I S t G I
S a lot of people, and I gotta tell you
they say the same thing. They go, your band is jizz.
Yeah you're close. Yeah the band group chat is called

(01:49:39):
the jizz chats all right? Yeah yeah? Put our music
all over your face, shoot it all over the shoot
it everywhere. If he's saying it, you've had it multiple times.
Have you ever thought maybe this isn't like we can't
have merch guys? Is this the real? Like if you
know quacks like a duck looks like a duck called jizz?
Is this what you're saying? Or lean into it or

(01:49:59):
don't do it? I I don't think you lean into it?
Have you thought of changing it? Gist parentheses were not jizz?
Would that where you go? I'm looking at your Instagramiz,
I do?

Speaker 4 (01:50:09):
I love it?

Speaker 7 (01:50:10):
Listen?

Speaker 2 (01:50:11):
Uh you get the gist as you guys on Instagram? Yeah,
so you guys are a heavy band. Yeah, beautiful hardcore band.

Speaker 7 (01:50:17):
I host a metal show here on Saturday nights.

Speaker 2 (01:50:19):
I'm always looking for it. I'd love to play you
guys a listen, we're gist. I love Are you a guitarist? Yeah,
guitar player in that band? Okay, just doesn't sound heavy though.
Just yeah, it's like I like short. You know so
many metal bands have these long band one of my
favorite bands out of Pittsburgh called Signs of the Swarm,
and these guys just you probably know, I'm Josh unbelievableist.

(01:50:42):
It feels kind of nineties grunge to me, short, sweet, succinct,
and then you hear them and you go, you know what,
I do get the gist? You pegged me from the Jump.
This is what I look forward to watch you guys
during Pride Week. It's gonna be great. Alan Cox and
j Yeah, yeah, it's just jam. The debut LP, The

(01:51:07):
Vanity of Self Loathing. Now that's a metal core album.
Your first album, Belly Belly Pancakes. Yeah, yeah, Pearl Necklace.
It looks like the Mariana Islands was their EP that.
Thank you for coming in, bro of course, let's see
you absolutely. Steve Burn and Josh Caderna will be doing

(01:51:29):
stand up for your entertainment. I don't have to tell you. Uh,
if you were with us for that tenth Annual Alan
Cox Show Comedy tour, you remember Steve Burn blowing the
roof off the Huh will you bring it back? I've
been telling him for five years. I want to bring
it back, but it is the radio thing. You have
to do it with the radio.

Speaker 4 (01:51:48):
You do it.

Speaker 2 (01:51:48):
You have enough. Clout. I thought about it, but it's
that's the name of my folk band, Clout. Clout and
Gis on the Road. Yeah, it's always uh in the ether,
me thinking about it and you know, well the minu
you do it. Let me know, thank you though you
got it. The Allen Cox show on.

Speaker 6 (01:52:06):
One hundred seven Call the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 2 (01:52:12):
He'll tell you all the best knock knock jokes.

Speaker 7 (01:52:14):
Plus is surprising opinions about Hawaiians.

Speaker 4 (01:52:17):
Seven eight one double oh seven or one eight three
four eight one.

Speaker 2 (01:52:20):
Double oh seven three f want to send me a text?
If you listen on the iHeartRadio app, tell me where
you do that you leave messages for us. Austin listens

(01:52:45):
in Houston, Texas. Derek is out in Cottonwood Heights, Utah.
I think that's suburban Salt Lake City. Melissa's in Seattle.
Rodney is in Allen, Texas. Alana is in Dover, New Hampshire.
Rob Dova Dova Dale's out in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. And Ray
and Colleen listened to the show in Milford, Delaware. If

(01:53:08):
you know where that is? Milfed? Milfed?

Speaker 5 (01:53:12):
What's up, guys.

Speaker 2 (01:53:13):
I've done a fair amount of yoga in my dad
and I have never once either heard nor smelled a
part in class ever ever. Ever.

Speaker 7 (01:53:23):
I'm sure it happens, but it's way blowout portion, blown
out of proportion.

Speaker 2 (01:53:28):
I get it all right. So he's done a lot
of yoga. Again, I've never been and it's been a minute.
But I've never been in a yoga class and heard
a fart or smelt one because as you know, Rob,
if you'll recall, if I smell it, that means that

(01:53:50):
ideal it you in fact dealt it.

Speaker 7 (01:53:54):
Yeah, And so it's you know, I don't like to
adhere to that.

Speaker 14 (01:54:01):
Now.

Speaker 2 (01:54:02):
If I'm smelting metal, that's a whole other thing. Then
I will absolutely deal that metal to you, because that's
my side. Hustle. Okay, you know I've got I've made
my own blast furnace at Cosa Cox And or if
I'm out fishing for smelt, Rob, you want to talk
about an appropriately named fish, A smelt gross, but it's

(01:54:28):
good eating and if you smelt it, you dealt it.
If you're a fan of you know, Northeast Ohio fish fries, yummy,
You ever gone to a smelt fry?

Speaker 9 (01:54:41):
No?

Speaker 7 (01:54:42):
Oh, come on, you get your Omega three's right there?

Speaker 2 (01:54:45):
Yep, No, I'm good.

Speaker 7 (01:54:46):
You don't like smelt?

Speaker 4 (01:54:47):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:54:48):
Oh, I mean I like. Hey, listen, you know everybody's
worried about mercury in fish smelt. They got some of
the lowest mercury levels. And you know me, I like
a lot of mercury in my diet. But smelt pretty good.
Isn't that just like bait fish?

Speaker 9 (01:55:05):
Though?

Speaker 7 (01:55:05):
Maybe? But it's actually it's a good Yes, I like smell.
You like if you go to a smelt fry.

Speaker 2 (01:55:13):
I think so. It just says cut the head and
the tail off. Yeah, it just tastes like whitefish. No,
thank you. That doesn't seem like anything i'd want to do.
You don't like a deep fried oily fish. I don't
think that.

Speaker 14 (01:55:26):
I do know.

Speaker 2 (01:55:28):
I'm gonna stick with like a piece of code okay cod?
Oh sorry, mister codd o anywhere here? Huh, you can
get that in any grocery store here, cod cod or
smelt cod. Oh all right, I guess I'm just not

(01:55:48):
as discriminating, right, I like a tuna. Now you won't see.
You won't see smelt on a sushi menu.

Speaker 7 (01:55:56):
I've noticed that.

Speaker 2 (01:55:57):
Can't imagine why you won't. You won't see if I go, hey,
can I call the place that I go to we
get sushi. It's from a place in his homestead, worse
to drive, and I go, you guys have that? Oh god,
do you have that? Smelt roll? Hello? Hello?

Speaker 3 (01:56:13):
Click click is exactly stupid yeah, went for sushi last night.
This was one of the conditions of Caitlyn coming home
this weekend. Oh God for you and no smelt, no smell?
All right, Oh yeah, your daughter's home from college.

Speaker 2 (01:56:29):
Yeah, it's fall breaks, so she's and so she goes,
let me guess. Hey, you say, what would you like
me to make? Because you know, you're a chef and
like Ace Frehley and you exact same way. I get
the title too, and you go, oh, my girls coming
home is very exciting. Let me whip up something for you.

(01:56:50):
And she goes, nah, that's almost exactly how it went there,
you go. Melissa had a procedure this morning.

Speaker 3 (01:56:59):
She remove of chopsticks. No oh no, okay, but she
couldn't eat, yeah, you know, because she was having the
thing whatever. So we it was just the three of us,
and Caitlyn's like, well you and the two girls. Yeah,
it would be so much better if we didn't cook
at home, because then mom wouldn't be like, oh, this sucks,
I can't eat, So let's.

Speaker 2 (01:57:19):
Go out for sushi. I'm like, you know that's gonna
be wow. What She really shoeharned that she was and
she's the best she contorted herself into a reason to Yeah,
but you don't need a reason to go somewhere at sushi.

Speaker 3 (01:57:30):
No, But it was that is she was using that
excuse as like, hey, let's get out of the house
for mom's benefits.

Speaker 7 (01:57:36):
I don't want mom to feel left out.

Speaker 3 (01:57:38):
And then tonight, my youngest Cali, she's at a friends
for a sleepover, so it's just the three of us,
and I have to imagine that means it's going to
be just me and Caitlin. So I know we'll be
out again. Oh really, two nights in a row. Yeah,
because I'm going to say, well, what do you want
me to make? And she's going to go, I don't
now because she went she worked today. She works at
a chiropractor in town, so she's I worked all day.

(01:57:58):
I just want to dad, just eat.

Speaker 2 (01:58:02):
It's something to eat. They'll get Mexican or something. So
she doesn't want to wait for you to prepare the food,
is what she's saying. I see again what she'll do tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:58:11):
She'll be like, didn't you say you made clam chowder
last week when I wasn't home, And I'll go, yeah,
well you think maybe.

Speaker 2 (01:58:18):
You can make a little more.

Speaker 7 (01:58:21):
There's none left over. You didn't send any asign.

Speaker 3 (01:58:25):
There is some and you freeze it. It just it
doesn't it's not as good as fresh. So she asks,
I'll make it. I'm a sucker for her. Man, I understand.

Speaker 7 (01:58:33):
Has she remarked on the Ducks, she hasn't even really met.
She hasn't been around. I mean they were there before
she left for school.

Speaker 3 (01:58:43):
Right, yeah, but she but she hasn't been around when
they've been like really active, like I said to that video,
and she thought it was funny, and she's heard us
talk about it on the show and stuff. But and
then it's like friends of hers will be like, hey,
I heard your dad bitching about the Ducks, and she'll laugh.

Speaker 7 (01:58:57):
Does she like college life so far?

Speaker 2 (01:58:59):
She loves it?

Speaker 3 (01:59:00):
Okay, And that's exactly like everybody. My parents are my
mother and and uh Melissa's mother and father were well,
you know, she was so reserved in high school. I
wonder how she's gonna do in college. I'm like, she's
gonna have a blash.

Speaker 2 (01:59:16):
That's also where people it's where people break out. That's
what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:59:18):
It's gonna be the absolute greatest thing that ever happened
to her was going to college. So she's, yeah, she's
having a blash.

Speaker 2 (01:59:24):
She loves it.

Speaker 3 (01:59:24):
So she's been off. Uh it's Wednesday through Sunday for
fall break at Mount Union. I don't know if that's everywhere,
but she's like, she's like, yeah, I'm gonna I'll come
home Thursday morning. And I'm like, well, why don't you
come home Wednesday night? You're out of classic like two,
y'all come home Thursday morning and I'm gonna leave like
Saturday afternoon. And I was like, well, we've got like

(01:59:47):
Saturday afternoon. You don't have to go back till monday.
Why don't you stay and leave Sunday morning? Y'all go
back Saturday afternoon. Yeah, she's she's got a live man.
I know, she's got a life. She's coming home to
wash her sheets because then wash there doesn't have a
high capacity, so she's washed. She's got it's got three
sets of sheets there before you get all pal, she

(02:00:09):
washed a set last week when she came on.

Speaker 2 (02:00:11):
Now's're washing them. Honey, why do you have to wash
so many sheets? I don't think I want to know.

Speaker 7 (02:00:16):
Okay, no, no, no, no, maybe you should go back Saturday.

Speaker 3 (02:00:19):
Why don't you leave now? No, it's uh, yeah, it's
it's just I'm just loving the fact that she's there.
I'm loving the fact that she's loving college like it's
it's I never did it, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (02:00:30):
My wife went Tonney, did you spill clam chowder all
over these sheets? Settled down? The son of a bitch?
What happened? And this here? You gotta stop eating in bed.
I'm leaving.

Speaker 4 (02:00:42):
That's it.

Speaker 2 (02:00:43):
I'm out of here. Oh god, oh, how dare you?

Speaker 3 (02:00:50):
Won't you try to get me back now with David Dan.

Speaker 2 (02:00:57):
To get back in my good graces? Dave? Are you laughing?

Speaker 5 (02:01:00):
Thing?

Speaker 2 (02:01:03):
D d R doing to rob the end, doing the
doing the sheets, and then she dips back out and
she's gone, yeah, yeah, she's it's a it's a quick visit.

Speaker 3 (02:01:15):
But you know, like I said, it's just gonna cost
me a bunch of dinners and then I'll end up
having to make something tomorrow, I guarantee and a scramble.

Speaker 2 (02:01:21):
You make Penny Ala vodka for me. Wow. So they're
like you're like uber, You're like door dash or something,
or you're like a You're like a walking menu. Oh yeah,
when the girls are around. Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:01:35):
But I mean I've done this to myself over the
years too, you know what I mean, Like I've been
cooking that way for them since they were little, okay,
and that's what sucks, Like when we go out to anywhere,
get a steak, you know what I mean, Like I
lost the ability to like say, hey, get the kids cirtlin,
you know, for six dollars on the because the first
time they had a good steak, they were like, well,
why would I ever get that dog crap other meal?

Speaker 2 (02:01:58):
Try to serve me.

Speaker 3 (02:01:59):
I want these steaks now, right. And I'm not the
guy that's gonna be like, no, you have to eat
off the goods men, you know, right. So yeah, I've
just they've they've they've got their tastes and things that
I've done to myself over the years now so.

Speaker 2 (02:02:12):
And I love it.

Speaker 3 (02:02:13):
I do love cooking for him makes all right. I'll
send her on her way with whatever she wants and
clean sheets, you son of a bitch.

Speaker 2 (02:02:20):
Look at that.

Speaker 7 (02:02:21):
How full service. I'm not doing full service menu laundry.

Speaker 2 (02:02:27):
I'm not doing.

Speaker 1 (02:02:28):
Ok.

Speaker 2 (02:02:29):
I like laundry.

Speaker 7 (02:02:30):
It calms me.

Speaker 2 (02:02:31):
I like doing the laundry. That's ladies work well that
I then call me missus doubt fire, I love. I'm
the guy up at like one in the morning finishing
a load of towels.

Speaker 9 (02:02:42):
No.

Speaker 7 (02:02:44):
Oh, this trip to La it's the last one.

Speaker 2 (02:02:46):
This week we announced our Alter Ego Festival and it's
gonna happen in January again out of the Kia for him.
Last year's got canceled because of the fires out there,
and so we had to skip a year. They canceled
last minute, So we'll get back to it this year.
The Alter Ego Festival. It's Green Day and it's twenty
one pilots and it's good Charlotte on the lineup, and

(02:03:12):
who else who else is on Alter Ego? Yeah, just
stay good Charlotte. Yeah, stay Green Day.

Speaker 5 (02:03:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:03:19):
I think that's it. I think we're done. Green Day
and good Charlotte. Twenty one Pilots, Cage the Elephant, Sublime
baby band I like called almost Monday. They'll be there too, anyway.
Trip for you and a pal fly up, put you up,
get your tickets of the whole she bang, and it's
your last chance this week before they go on sale,
So listen closely and good luck.

Speaker 4 (02:03:40):
Now your chance at a trip to our iHeart radio
alter ego. Jack's the nationwide keyword party to the number
two hundred two hundred. You'll get a confirmation text and
INPOS standard data and message rates apply in this nationwide contest.

Speaker 2 (02:03:54):
That's party to two hundred two hundred.

Speaker 8 (02:04:00):
A finger bag, finger bag bang bang bang, finger bang bang,
finger bag bang bang bang, finger bang bang, finger bag
bang bang bang, finger bang bang, finger bag bang bang,

(02:04:27):
finger bag bang bang bang, finger bang bang, finger bag
bang bang bang, finger bang bang.

Speaker 2 (02:04:35):
I didn't want people getting mad because I forgot about
Brian's finger bang Friday afternoon, five o'clock on a Friday. Everybody,
welcome to the weekend. Yeah a clock somewhere. Uh yeah, okay,

(02:04:56):
m hmm. What's up, gentlemen, I'm taking a piss and
my backyard thinking while I'm paying.

Speaker 10 (02:05:05):
Does Rob's hate for Halloween have anything to do with
his daughter is not being home anymore?

Speaker 2 (02:05:13):
Or his daughter?

Speaker 18 (02:05:14):
Sorry if I mixed it up, But as a father myself,
I could definitely understand that mine aren't in college.

Speaker 2 (02:05:20):
But you know, okay, stupid question, all right, see you
hate show? Goodbye? What was he saying? Do I hate
h Halloween. Yeah, no, again, I don't hate Halloween.

Speaker 7 (02:05:34):
I was gonna say I almost before you.

Speaker 2 (02:05:36):
But the whole thing with the office decorations that was
fundamental to Rob's concern is that these don't belong in
a place of business.

Speaker 7 (02:05:44):
Not I don't like Halloween, it does.

Speaker 2 (02:05:47):
It shouldn't be in our office, right And guess what
talking about peeing pissing in the wind on that one.
It's pretty funny. I think they've put up more decorations.
Phone in one hand, pecker in the other. Yea, they did.
And did you see what I did to mine? They
hung that skeleton over my desk? Huh.

Speaker 3 (02:06:04):
They put one of those plastic skeletons I don't know,
maybe foot long. Yeah, and they hung it on the
desk between you know, Jeff, our promotions director, and my
desk are faced.

Speaker 2 (02:06:14):
Yeah, they put it right on the light above us.

Speaker 3 (02:06:18):
So I broke all the fingers so that it just
has two middle fingers pointing directly back at the person
that hung them.

Speaker 2 (02:06:23):
It's not a skeleton. Just gives two double birds. And
I'm very kind of myself.

Speaker 7 (02:06:27):
Well, good, thank you. It's a little bit of a
back and forth, isn't it.

Speaker 2 (02:06:31):
It's a volley between you and the people in charge
of the Halloween decoration.

Speaker 3 (02:06:37):
I told the story, and this is again how much
I know my kids are my kids. I was telling Caitlin,
my my oldest, about that yesterday. I'm like, yeah, I
gave the I made the plastic skeleton. Give middle fingers
to the person at the desk that hung the thing
over my desk. And she goes, did any of the
fingers break off? And I go, one of them kind
of did, but it's sort of there. She goes, you

(02:06:58):
should break that one off and get a private part,
and I'm like, you are a genius. See there is
my next movie. There you go, Caitlin, you are awesome.

Speaker 2 (02:07:06):
Get you sell some super glue. And now that skeleton
has one prominent bone, that's right, and due to country belief,
there is no bone in it.

Speaker 4 (02:07:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:07:17):
Speaking of cooking, lady published a book of I didn't
I guess I didn't realize this. You know, I've talked
about when I go visit my father's grave. He is
in the same cemetery as my grandparents, as my mom's parents,
and so the plot with my dad, that's where my
mom and dad will be and it's in the town

(02:07:38):
my mom grew up in in central Illinois, and a
lot of really old headstones going way back right, there's
a lot of small ones. There are a lot of
kids dying from a variety of things. But I gotta
tell you, I'd never seen one with a recipe on it.
And apparently that's not uncommon on really old gravestones. And

(02:08:02):
there's a woman who I guess blew up on TikTok.
She was talking about how there are a lot of
recipes on old gravestones, and she spent the last four
or five years traveling the country to find the best
ones and replicate them. And she has put out a
cookbook called Wait for It to Die for a cookbook

(02:08:22):
of gravestone recipes. I'll be playing Gravestone Recipe tomorrow night
on two hours of midnight. But in the meantime, have.

Speaker 7 (02:08:31):
You ever seen an old gravestone with a recipe on it?

Speaker 2 (02:08:33):
No? Here lies Marty Malloy. Here's her recipe for soup. Mmm,
chicken bone and wet rag soup, loads of cabbage. My mother, Valerie,
she would make the soup for us. It's a chicken soup.
With myself. She would think it for us one of
aver sick and if it was called on side, so

(02:08:55):
something we always look forward to. Before my father passed away,
my uncle passed away. My father wrote this poem always
wanted to get it published. As a direct result of
my uncle passing away.

Speaker 8 (02:09:03):
We came up with the idea of Creyton an open
book and published the poem actually on the front of
the tombstone.

Speaker 2 (02:09:08):
My mother loved it, so when she passed, he thought,
let's do something that will represent her. And what better
than her cooking?

Speaker 18 (02:09:15):
Hmm.

Speaker 2 (02:09:17):
I've never seen a recipe in a gravestone, say, never
seen a recipe, and.

Speaker 3 (02:09:21):
I don't know if I would want to just start
cooking stuff off the back of a tombstone.

Speaker 2 (02:09:26):
How do you want your tombstone? Pepperoni and cheese? Those
old commercials. Guy's gonna be uh executed? What do you
want in your tombstone? Ellen? I wonder what your grandmother
would call a bone protruding from a skeleton's pelvic region.
Omer that's that, Grandma.

Speaker 7 (02:09:50):
Uh yeah, I love you, thank you, grandma, appreciate it.

Speaker 2 (02:09:57):
Grandma. What do you call those people who put up
all those office ween decorations? A bunch of assholds. Oh grahma,
I miss you, love you so much. The Allen Cox
Show on one everything is so expensive.

Speaker 6 (02:10:16):
Instead of buying new clothes, just wait for the rapture.

Speaker 14 (02:10:20):
He'll be surrounded by free stuff because, let's face it,
you won't be going anywhere.

Speaker 4 (02:10:27):
Another life hack from The Allen Cox Show.

Speaker 7 (02:10:30):
On one hundred seven w MMS.

Speaker 2 (02:10:37):
I'm a little minor threat. Forty four seconds of straight
edge right in your face.

Speaker 7 (02:10:51):
Ian McKay and the Boys.

Speaker 2 (02:10:53):
No smoking, rob no drinking, no kokayene, no nothing, nerds,
all kinds of punk and hard core bands that were
committed to just doing the music, no illicit substances whatsoever.
Now they've been doing Straight Edge Day for maybe twenty
five thirty years. However, it can be very confusing because

(02:11:18):
it's technically called National Edge Day. Now for people who
might not be hip to the straight edge lifestyle, you
might think it's about something else. But listen. I would
think that National Edge Day would be more than one day.

(02:11:38):
I think that that would go on for quite a while.
Alan Cox Show on your social media platforms Straight Edge lifestyle.
Of course, for National Edge Day, I couldn't do it.
I had friends that we were talking about this earlier.
Sure I didn't, you know. I started smoking weed early
and tried drinking when I was fifteen. I didn't pick

(02:12:00):
that up again until I was twenty six. But I
had friends that were in to those kinds of bands,
and so they were kind of taking their cues from
bands like Minor Threat that were straight edge bands. There's
nothing wrong with that. I have friends to this day
who are strange. Now I'm not talking about people in recovery.
I'm talking about people who were like, it ain't for me.

(02:12:22):
Ten Yard Fight, another one of these bands is like that,
right every year on October seventeenth. Originally Rob this was
started in Boston, Massachusetts. Boston, Massachusetts, a town known for,
among other things, not being particularly straight edge. But they
do Austin do it in a lot of cities now.

(02:12:46):
But I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it as
a younger man. I could never. I guess if I
had really, if I really put my mind to it, Rob,
I can do anything, But I always think of the
Frank Sinatra line he goes. I feel bad for people
who don't drink, because when they wake up, that's the
best they're gonna feel. All day, all day, and you

(02:13:08):
know it might not necessarily be true, but I take
his point. So for people who are straight edge who
came up that way, I say good on you, but
it's not for me.

Speaker 7 (02:13:21):
I need plenty of edge in my life. From Eric
and Penhills.

Speaker 2 (02:13:26):
My client an adult at his office taken over by
Halloween decorations two weeks before Halloween, when he complained he
found a skeleton on his desk. Sound familiar.

Speaker 7 (02:13:36):
Call the Law Offices of Lindy Korn.

Speaker 2 (02:13:39):
Yeah, the people responsible for our premature Halloween decorations out
there in the suite have hung, if you pardon the pun,
a skeleton over Rob's desk and it's great. Have you
been called a cheap jew at work? Called the law Wow?

Speaker 7 (02:14:01):
That escalated quickly, Sure did.

Speaker 17 (02:14:06):
My client was in sales and a top performer and
was up for promotion, but when his supervisor found out
that he was gay and HIV positive, he never got
the promotion.

Speaker 2 (02:14:17):
Does this sound familiar? Called the law office of Lindy
corn Well, listen, I think it's self explanatory. The HIV part.
She said. He was a top performer and scene Okay,
so yeah, I got that money for you. In about
five or six minutes. The last keyword courtesy of the

(02:14:40):
Buzzard bookie for you to get one thousand dollars. David
checking in from the west coast of Madinah County, Alan,
Did your parents buy extra plots in that cemetery for
your future step dads? First of all, I don't know you,
son of a bitch, Why you're speaking about step dad

(02:15:01):
in the plural. I will never have a singular step
dad of any color. I know that guy likes to
check it's your future black step dad.

Speaker 7 (02:15:13):
I mean then I met him, nice guy, And again
it's got nothing to do with me.

Speaker 2 (02:15:21):
You know what I'm saying, if my mom sees fit
to uh, My mom has made it quite clear that
she has no interest whatsoever in anything beyond being courted,
which I guess is what's happening.

Speaker 16 (02:15:37):
With her.

Speaker 7 (02:15:39):
What's the what's the other word that means courting?

Speaker 3 (02:15:42):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:15:42):
Big wood Yep?

Speaker 7 (02:15:45):
All right, this short one.

Speaker 2 (02:15:54):
No listen, My mom's having some dinners, some nice Actually,
I haven't even talked to her about what.

Speaker 4 (02:16:00):
You know.

Speaker 7 (02:16:01):
She broke this news to me last Thanksgiving. Didn't even have.

Speaker 2 (02:16:08):
The kindness to tell me after I'd eaten she told
me beforehand, thereby rob running the risk of ruining my appetite.
And you know, my appetite at any given time minimal.
So on a day like Thanksgiving where I am prepared
to undo my belt, so my mom tells me this,

(02:16:30):
So it will This Thanksgiving will mark the one year
anniversary of my mom telling me that she's dating. How
are you going to celebrate? I don't know.

Speaker 7 (02:16:43):
Well I will celebrate.

Speaker 2 (02:16:44):
I've already texted my mom in advance, said hey, FYI,
I'm going to be home again for Thanksgiving. If there's
anything I can bring, please let me know. And my
mom always says the same thing again, it's just a
it's this scurtesy that I text because shows you.

Speaker 4 (02:17:00):
No.

Speaker 7 (02:17:00):
No, I'll take care of everything.

Speaker 2 (02:17:01):
Okay. One year I did bring one of those ice
cream turkey cakes from Baskin Robbins. People enjoyed that. Now
I did not realize that the ice cream was turkey flavored.
I just thought it was in a turkey shape. So
that's on me. But no, I said, if you want
me to bring anything, let me know, and of course

(02:17:23):
she read no, and it'd be just you just bring yourself.
Just bring yourself honey, everything else. I'll take care of
everything else.

Speaker 18 (02:17:30):
And Mom, but before I let you go on top
of if there's anything else I could bring, If you
have anything you want to tell me before I get
there this year?

Speaker 2 (02:17:40):
Is there anything I need to know?

Speaker 9 (02:17:42):
Actually, Annie, now that I think about it, could you
bring a lot of lube?

Speaker 2 (02:17:46):
No, Diddy's getting out of jail. Oh, now you talk
about black stepdad, you talk about a future black stepdad.

Speaker 9 (02:17:55):
I've been talking to this nice young man named Sean.

Speaker 7 (02:18:00):
Oh no, Mom, what's his last name?

Speaker 9 (02:18:03):
I don't know, but I think he owns a comb
factory or something. He says he sells combs.

Speaker 2 (02:18:08):
Oh jesus, Mom, he goes by P.

Speaker 7 (02:18:11):
He sure does wolf in a place that you don't
want it. It goes by P.

Speaker 9 (02:18:18):
He calls himself pea combs.

Speaker 2 (02:18:20):
Oh no, Mom, no, Mom, run run run place, run
run here, Honey.

Speaker 9 (02:18:31):
I heard that you've been making fun of your stepdad
with some frequency. His name is David Roth, and I'd
like you to.

Speaker 7 (02:18:38):
We're talking about a curveball. How about that? Oh, he
just throws the name man. Yeah, he's very nice.

Speaker 2 (02:18:44):
Is he nice?

Speaker 4 (02:18:45):
Mom?

Speaker 10 (02:18:45):
I mean?

Speaker 2 (02:18:45):
Does he scream a lot? Does you say woo a lot.
Is this the guy that I'm thinking of because I
was a huge fan back in the day.

Speaker 9 (02:18:51):
All I'll say, I don't want to get too graphical,
I'll say is that I never feel threatened by him
because it's just this a cash and you're like, I know,
growing up you like Cashews. I don't want to ruin
that for you.

Speaker 2 (02:19:05):
You can wear the hell out of a pair of
leather pants.

Speaker 9 (02:19:08):
He wears these shorts and I'll tell you, honey, they
hug him.

Speaker 2 (02:19:11):
In Jesus, Mom, you can forget about that ice cream
turkey cake lady, little Cashoes.

Speaker 9 (02:19:24):
Little Cashoes. When he wears those pants, they look chocolate covered. Now.

Speaker 2 (02:19:31):
So I need to follow up with my mom about
Thanksgiving because what I do is I first that first salvo,
like a month in advance. I go halfway. I let
you know him coming, because last year it was her
and me and my daughter and uh not that it
might be exactly save mes here. I don't know, but
I was like, I want to learn know I'm coming,
and my son lives there now you know, he moved Chicago.

(02:19:52):
So I'm trying to find a way to figure that
whole thing out too, because I'd like to go kind
of hang with him and see his new spot, and
you know, go have some pops. Now that both my
kids are of legal drinking age, both of my older
kids are of legal drinking age, Rob I didn't even
drink around my kids until they were like in their
late teens. It felt weird to me because I never

(02:20:14):
was around my parents when they drank. Oh i'm drinking, mom,
Please stop, Mom. Jesus, we're doing the Rush thing again
next week, Is that right?

Speaker 5 (02:20:23):
We are?

Speaker 2 (02:20:23):
Yeah? Okay, So all this week, if you've been trying
to get yourself to that Rush concert, the first of
two the Rock and Arena next year, September seventeenth, all
this week Rover would tell you what the song of
the day was in Stansbury Play. We're gonna do that
again next week Monday, we're going to announce the winner
of the first pair of Rush tickets from this week,

(02:20:44):
and then next week we'll do it again. So off
the rip you get that ticket to pair of tickets
for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and then
you'll be one of the five people next week who
will qualify for the tickets to see Rush.

Speaker 3 (02:20:55):
Yep, And we've still got that Instagram contest going to
oh we do yeah, the all the how to on
that's on our Instagram page. But yeah, you can win
a pair of tickets there as well. So yeah, another
week of a different pair. By the way, I just
want to make sure I'm clear it's not you're playing
for the same pair. I know you said we're doing.
We gave away a pair this week, We're going to

(02:21:15):
give away another pair next week for the rush song
of the day.

Speaker 2 (02:21:19):
Everybody who qualifies from the pair of tickets will fight
it out on Euclid having a big fist fisticuffs. Yeah,
it'll be the thing with the old the giant padded
Q tips the people used to fight with Ryan, Like
American Gladiators or what happen? It was the show I
was trying to think of it when you said that,
I was like, the name of that show, American Gladiators.

Speaker 7 (02:21:38):
There's a great documentary on Netflix.

Speaker 2 (02:21:41):
And again I never watched American Gladiators, but I kind
of knew the broad Strokes because I friends of mine
they were into like w w F back in the day.
We're watching American Gladiators And there's a great documentary called
h Muscles and Mayhem about American gladd Over on Netflix.
It's probably a couple of years old, but it's very entertaining.

(02:22:05):
It's kind of a bummer because it's like these people
who were very prominent in that field for a while
and then ended up like, you know, just kind of
their personal lives fell apart like so many other documentaries.
But you know, some people emerged more successful than some
other people. Well, they all had weird names and stuff too,
and like Turbo and Steroid, used bad contracts that left

(02:22:29):
them practically penniless. And again, a lot of it does
revolve around roid rage. There was another documentary about the
God What the lady wrestler who shot a guy, The
lady bodybuilder who shot a guy. I didn't seen that

(02:22:50):
one at uh shot her husband or.

Speaker 7 (02:22:57):
Killer Sally.

Speaker 2 (02:22:59):
The nineteen ninety five case of Sally McNeil, a bodybuilder
who shot and killed her husband. She said self defense
after he allegedly beat her. This is another thing that
was completely revolving around roid rage. She discovered he was
fooling around, and so they said that was her motive,
but she said that he was beating her up. She
called nine to one one saying she had shot her husband.

(02:23:23):
It's called Killer Sally. It's over there on Netflix. That
one's a couple of years old, too, But that was
very entertaining. I don't know what it is about. Like
body builder documentaries, I'm fascinated by him because from the
beginning of these documentaries, you're like, the only reason they

(02:23:43):
made one is because it doesn't end well. Write some documentaries.
They don't necessarily end poorly. They just might not have
any They might still be ongoing. I'm not talking about
true crime just in general. But this killer Sally killed
him on Valentine's Day, which golly seems to be the

(02:24:04):
worst possible day to kill a spouse. She forgot to
get him a card. I guess so some people take
Valentine's Day very seriously. I could see somebody doing that. Jesus,
what am I gonna do? I got and now there
isn't a guy on the planet who would care about
not getting something for Valentine's Day. But if the roles
were reversed, this guy comes home. They're both bodybuilders. She's

(02:24:27):
as jacked as he is. He comes home, what holding
half a dozen pieces of rotting flora from the local
convenience store. Happy Valentine's Day, Baby cotton Ball says Alan,
You just wait when a Halloween decoration goes missing, then

(02:24:52):
we're gonna find your office's sticky fingered hooligan. You imagine that,
Imagine how you get pinched. Imagine if the very same
person who is stealing my selsey eye is caught orange
handed stealing somehow. Now I can't imagine anyone to be
stealing Halloween decorations, but your logic is pretty sound. We'll

(02:25:18):
find out. Hmm, you should undo your belt at Thanksgiving? Alan,
like stepfather, like stepsunt? You wow?

Speaker 7 (02:25:29):
Motherless?

Speaker 2 (02:25:30):
Or you.

Speaker 16 (02:25:33):
Son?

Speaker 2 (02:25:33):
Wow of a bitch? I mean, right for it, Alan,
Has anyone ever killed someone over hemorrhoid rage? Rather than
steroid rage, you would droid rage. Oh he was a bodybuilder? No, no, no,
he had terrible hemorrhoids. Nope, look like he was pooping
out water balloons.

Speaker 7 (02:25:53):
It was terrible.

Speaker 3 (02:25:54):
He had had enough of the itching and burning and
the tucks were doing nothing, and he just lost it.

Speaker 2 (02:26:00):
Killed seven people.

Speaker 7 (02:26:02):
My kingdom for a medicated pad. I'm God.

Speaker 2 (02:26:08):
People talk about hemorrhoids. I'm like, Jesus, what are you doing?
People get them in a million different ways. I guess
I don't either, and some people. I've never had one,
but the way some people describe them, I'm like, oh
my god, what is happening with your body?

Speaker 3 (02:26:26):
Had a buddy who said it was like a bunch
of grapes, a bunch of little grapes sticking right.

Speaker 2 (02:26:33):
I mean, just I'm like, what do you do? He's like, hey,
put that stuff on it kind of trying to push
him back in, push him back in? Oh, what do
you why? Why would you do that? He said?

Speaker 3 (02:26:43):
Well, what am I gona leave him out? Doctor said
again him, I'm like, I don't know what you do,
but I don't think I want to push him back in.

Speaker 2 (02:26:48):
Well, the doctor could tell him my professional opinion. You know,
I went to medical school for fourteen years. My professional
opinion pushed them back in? Your body? Yeah, you know
what you want to just take your thumb, just give push. Really,
do you have a knitting needle in your house? Yeah?
A lot of people say, I mean.

Speaker 4 (02:27:06):
What do you do?

Speaker 2 (02:27:08):
I think I think you just live with it, right,
or you have to have them lanced? Oh my god?
Because it's isn't it just it's part of your intestines
falling out right. No, I don't think it's that. I
thought I think it is. I thought it was like
a uh, I thought it was a growth or something.
I think it's like on your intestine. It's not a prolapse.
I mean it's I think it's close to that. What

(02:27:29):
is a hem uid I think it is.

Speaker 7 (02:27:34):
It's a hemorrhoid range.

Speaker 3 (02:27:36):
Hemorrhoids are swollen, enlarged blood vessels located in the lower
rectum and anus.

Speaker 2 (02:27:41):
All right, so it's not your intestines, it's it's it's
inflamed blood vessel.

Speaker 7 (02:27:46):
But it's part of your lower rectum, which is part
of your intestine.

Speaker 4 (02:27:48):
Is it not?

Speaker 2 (02:27:51):
I don't know. Let me see, uh, your lower gi.
Should you push your lower g I should put these
back in my.

Speaker 3 (02:28:01):
Body, hemorrhoids back in? H I swear to God if
this company ever looks at my Google searches, huh rab
could you come in my office and bring everything in
a desk with you. We noticed that you were doing
a lot of searches for should I push my hemorrhoids
back in?

Speaker 2 (02:28:21):
And we are concerned it's the second thing mind?

Speaker 3 (02:28:26):
Yes, see look, yes, you should gently push a hemorrhoid
back in one that is bulged outside of anus.

Speaker 2 (02:28:33):
I don't know, given your example, I don't know how
somebody would gently put a group of grapes back in. Well,
let me tell you.

Speaker 3 (02:28:40):
It says right here, clean yourself first, wipe the area
with a gentle excuse me, gently with a damp toilet towel.

Speaker 2 (02:28:48):
After a BM, lubricate your finger.

Speaker 3 (02:28:51):
Oh my god, push gently while sitting on the toilet
and push the roid back into the anis with your finger.

Speaker 7 (02:28:57):
Do you have to put your knees in your chest?

Speaker 3 (02:29:00):
It has to do while you're sitting on the can
ensure it stays in, stand up and hold it in
to help it stay inside smoothly.

Speaker 2 (02:29:08):
And I use warm water.

Speaker 7 (02:29:10):
But doesn't logic dictate that.

Speaker 2 (02:29:11):
Then every subsequent time you have to go number two,
you're doing this whole thing.

Speaker 3 (02:29:17):
No, because I don't think it happens all the time.
I think they're like you keep them forever, like luggage.
But I don't think they are out there. I don't
think they're there all the time. I think they get inflamed,
Oh my god. And then this that's when you have
to like push it in and put the cream and
stuff on them. They sells depositories. I'm looking at all
kinds of stuff. When to see a doctor if the
hemorrhoid's very painful and you can't push it back in,

(02:29:40):
if it won't go back in with gentle pressure, or if.

Speaker 2 (02:29:43):
You experience a lot of bleeding. Oh well yeah, people
are texting me now, Alan, and I wipe. It's like
I'm on my period and I just live with it. Well,
that's no go, that's no good at all. Well, if
it's bright red, I mean, if it's brown, that's coming
from further in. But I mean, you know, you should
not try and pop a hemorrhoid yourself. No, have a

(02:30:04):
neighbor do it? You got Pinjin? Come on over here
with that danks you got, doesn't Marge new Cross ditch?

Speaker 7 (02:30:15):
Just grab her basket and.

Speaker 5 (02:30:16):
Bring it over.

Speaker 2 (02:30:16):
What terrible fruit basket? Right now, I get you some
eazy air rifle. I'm gonna grab ankle here. You just
you take a couple of shots.

Speaker 4 (02:30:24):
Pal.

Speaker 2 (02:30:26):
Oh Jesus, you know I've been overlooking a fruit of
the loom commercial from back in the eighties. Alan, I've
had them for twenty seven years, and I've been told
to have them removed is the worst pain you could
ever go through. And I had two children naturally with
no drugs. I bet women get them from pushing kids out.
That's yeah, that's what they say, that you can't just

(02:30:49):
lance them off. It's a surgical procedure. Reason four nine
and sixty two that it's fun to be a gal Jesus.

Speaker 9 (02:30:58):
H h.

Speaker 2 (02:31:01):
The H stands for hemorrhoid alan. You either have internal
or external. External hurt like hell. Internal don't hurt, but
bleed like hell. Oh, so it's pretty much a wash.
Then it's uh god, almighty whoh. My best friend works
for a colo rectal surgeon. Good gig, and they do

(02:31:21):
not recommend it unless it's unless you're an unbearable pain.
There's no other out. Don't recommend what pushing them back in?
I assume getting them removed? Oh, removed, got it? Yeah?
People with ibs. Jesus, I'll tell you what I Oh,
I'm gonna I'm gonna leave the show today, Rob walking
on Sunshine. See, I'm gonna be skipping out of this place.

(02:31:45):
So fortunate to not have butt grapes. Butt grapes. That's
a good band.

Speaker 7 (02:31:50):
Are they green or purple?

Speaker 4 (02:31:52):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (02:31:52):
Wait, let me guess.

Speaker 2 (02:31:54):
Ellen Carr show on one.

Speaker 4 (02:32:00):
Called the Alan Cox Show.

Speaker 7 (02:32:02):
It's for living out radio workplace fantasies. And if I
have to explain that to you, it's clear you don't
deserve it.

Speaker 4 (02:32:07):
Twout six seven eight one double oh seven or eight
one double oh seven.

Speaker 2 (02:32:23):
Christmas to make me put me in a good mood
with everybody blowing me up on the text with their
hemorrhoid and anal Fisher stories. I'm gonna say it had
to be bad two days in a row with this song.
I had to get you needed something. I mean, I'd
play this on a loop if I have my druthers,
But you know how light I am on druthers these days.

Speaker 7 (02:32:45):
An old Fishers, it has no fun.

Speaker 4 (02:32:48):
Man.

Speaker 2 (02:32:48):
People that have like gut stuff and they get you know,
anything they eat, no matter how simple, is like a
crap shoot and it's oh no fun.

Speaker 3 (02:32:56):
But I have diticulosis, but it's oh, You've mentioned that.
It's not something that is there all the time. It's
just like if I if I have an issue, it's
like a little flare up ski and then I got
a problem. But that's all internal, you know, Yeah, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's like little uh pockets in your colon, and then
every once in a while something gets stuck in there,

(02:33:17):
and then you get an infection and then.

Speaker 2 (02:33:19):
Yeah, colon pocket, they're full of change. I just you know,
I find a random mint in there, and yeah, it's
where I keep my pistachios colon pockets, uh huh. And
then that gets infected and then you got diverticulitis.

Speaker 7 (02:33:32):
And that's the Oh, that was my next question I've
heard of.

Speaker 2 (02:33:34):
I know you've mentioned diverticulosis, but I've heard of diverticulitis.

Speaker 3 (02:33:38):
Yeah, so the the diagnosis of what you have is diverticulosis,
and then when you have the issue, it's divertic that's.

Speaker 2 (02:33:47):
The flare up correct alan Severe hemorrhoids are called piles.
Oh my goodness, I'm gonna look this up now. P
I l e s Yeah, piles, piles hemorrhoids. Oh no,
don't google images. Oh I just did. Don't ye, don't
don't just there. Just don't know better than me, that's

(02:34:13):
all I'm saying. Oh, yeah, better you than me. Oh
my god, how do you even get anything by that?
I guess you probably don't. Oh, I mean, is any
are any of you. I do not are any of
these afflictions genetic. I mean, are things like ibs and

(02:34:34):
crones genetic?

Speaker 6 (02:34:35):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:34:37):
You know if you I have to think that things
like hemorrhoids are not genetic. It's like maybe you don't
have enough fiber in your diet. I don't know the
way some people eat. But Ellen, you can remove him
at home with a cigar cutter. Okay, listen, this is
not a medical show. So with a grain of salt
is how you should take these things that just changed me.

Speaker 3 (02:34:56):
Dude, I'm a different person seconds ago. I closed it out,
but I'm no longer the same man. I can't I
can't forget gotsy from twenty years ago. All right, I
don't need this stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:35:11):
How about somebody who called me about trying to get
my car over three hundred thousand miles.

Speaker 10 (02:35:17):
Hey, so I had a two thousand and eight Chevy
and Paula named that baby the Ivory Pearl. She had
I think two hundred and eighty nine thousand miles in
the end, and I still donated her to the Vets
because she was running just fine. No engine trouble ever,
just rotors, brakes, tirodes. The regular stuff. So if you

(02:35:40):
find yourself a ride or die. I see riders of
the wheels fall off.

Speaker 2 (02:35:45):
That's what I'm saying. You can get that funko pop
of ice Cube in his Impala, right, yeah, the ss
and it was a good day video. No helicopter looking
for the murder to you in the morning. Got a
fat burger.

Speaker 3 (02:36:01):
Even saw the lights on the Goodyear blimp and they
read ice cubes of pimp.

Speaker 7 (02:36:04):
Ice Cube is a pimp.

Speaker 2 (02:36:06):
He was just here. We'll grow up around one.

Speaker 3 (02:36:10):
She didn't hesitate to call ice Cube the top gun
tru and I'm coasting. Took another ship, put the postion
hit the three wheel motion. Oh yeah, no engine trouble ever,
she said. See that's where I am. I haven't had
any engine in trouble. Do the shocks, do the lights?
A couple of things here cosmetic right, nothing under the hood.

Speaker 4 (02:36:31):
Yet.

Speaker 2 (02:36:32):
That's when it's gonna get real, is when that stuff
starts happening. But in the meantime, uh, that'll be fine.

Speaker 4 (02:36:41):
But holy cow, Alan, you keep talking about these butthole
diseases and ailments.

Speaker 2 (02:36:48):
Had to turn it off again. Now when I turn
you back on, you pee talking about the buttole ailments
and other gross health stuff. Thanks Man show. Maybe if
you didn't say it like that, we would now. I
just want to keep talking about it forever.

Speaker 14 (02:37:05):
Butthole of the worlds sometimes, right, Yeah, Listen, we only
got on it because so I was talking about the
bodybuilder documentary Killer Sally and the American gladiators and people
that were, you know, getting themselves into a roid rage,
and somebody took that and ran with it and said,
is that short for hemorrhoid rage?

Speaker 2 (02:37:24):
And then we just kind of went from there and
away we went. Yeah, that's kind of how these things go.
Once we start spinning out. Twenty minutes later, we're going
to commercials.

Speaker 1 (02:37:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:37:39):
Oh, speaking of documentaries, by the way, is a documentary
that's dropping about what is really known about UFOs. You know,
they called them UAPs now unidentified aerial phenomenon. It's called
the Age of Disclosure, and I think this documentary is
about what the government really knows about the UFOs. So

(02:38:03):
for people who are interested in those kinds of things,
the Age of Disclosure set what is believed to be
a record for cross platform views for a documentary at
twenty two million views, and so it's people in government,
it's people in the science community, it's people from all across.

(02:38:24):
It's going to be in theaters the week of Thanksgiving,
but then it'll be on Amazon Prime to stream. And
the guy directed it was like, I just wanted to
interview people who had direct knowledge of this topic. See
this is where I kind of you know, talking about
UFOs is fun, but what you're really talking I mean

(02:38:48):
literally unidentified flying objects. It's come to be synonymous with aliens,
but there's nothing fundamentally that implies aliens.

Speaker 7 (02:38:58):
It's merely on ad and it's cool.

Speaker 2 (02:39:02):
He's cool to watch. And I don't know that anybody
really thinks we're alone in the universe. You know, you
have Fermi's paradox right. The size of the universe makes
it nearly impossible that we would be the only intelligent life.
But because it's so large, it's also unlikely that we

(02:39:24):
would ever cross paths with them. And so this documentary
is called the Age of Disclosure. And I just have
to assume that the changes in this some people have
seen it. But the changes in this is that for
a long time, people in charge would deny that this
stuff with the was even going on. And now they're
kind of like, yeah, there's some things we can't explain.

(02:39:46):
And listen, there are new theories popping up all the time.
There's a guy named Robin Corbett. He's at the NASA
Goddard Space Flight Center and he just dropped a new paper.
He's at the University of Maryland and his theory is
not His theory on why aliens haven't contacted us is

(02:40:10):
that they're not much more advanced than we are. You
know these and they're obviously they're all theories, but some
people are like, well, if they're truly advanced species that
are capable of interstellar travel, they might just pass us by.
They wouldn't have that much in common with us. His

(02:40:31):
thought is, well, the idea is that they're more advanced,
but they're not much more advanced. It's like having an
iPhone forty two instead of an iPhone seventeen was his example.
So you're not talking about anything that could be very significant. Well,
that's what I'm saying. I mean, you know people think that,
you know, when something grows exponentially, and they talk about

(02:40:52):
AI and they're like, exponentially doesn't mean that it just
keeps getting bigger. It means that it gets way bigger,
way faster.

Speaker 3 (02:41:00):
Like think about what the iPhone one looked like to
what your iPhone seventeen looks like.

Speaker 7 (02:41:04):
And that's only what fifteen the sixteen removed. So think
about that.

Speaker 2 (02:41:12):
Think of how much technology is now into your phone
versus the first one you had.

Speaker 7 (02:41:17):
Did you have an OG iPhone?

Speaker 2 (02:41:19):
I did?

Speaker 7 (02:41:20):
An iPhone one?

Speaker 2 (02:41:21):
I did? Yeah, it was the first phone.

Speaker 3 (02:41:23):
So I was always a BlackBerry guy, and then as
soon as the iPhone came out, I got one.

Speaker 2 (02:41:29):
I don't know, God I think of I think an
OG Apple iPhone. It's on eBay for thirty five hundred
dollars really just as a nostalgia piece. If this is
what I'm looking at I have.

Speaker 3 (02:41:42):
I still have my old, my original iPad, and that
our iPod rather and that's worth a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (02:41:47):
I know that the OG first edition iPod. Yeah, I
rebought mine because mine fell out of my car. People
listen to this show for a long time, remember that
story where my entire library is on my iPod and
I lost the iPod or it fell out of my
backpack or something when I was living in Ohio City.
And then I re bought an iPhone, or I bought

(02:42:09):
a new iPod, one of those like one hundred and
twenty eight gig. Yeah. You know, by that time, though,
streaming it got to the point where I was like,
I'm not gonna you know, I reloaded my catalog onto
this thing and then never used it. I don't even
know where it is anymore. It's in a drawer, battery dead.
Probably maybe I have a box with all my old phones.
But I did not have an og iPhone. I don't

(02:42:29):
think I got one until like the iPhone three. I
didn't get a first generation iPhone. Yeah I did.

Speaker 3 (02:42:37):
I had that was that was the first time I
was still rocking like flip phones and stuff. I was
a BlackBerry guy first and then yeah what was that iPhone?

Speaker 2 (02:42:45):
Yeah that is June twenty ninth, two thousand and seven
was the first one that was discontinued the next year
because they were ye see there's one online you can
buy and looks like you could use. It's unlocked.

Speaker 3 (02:42:56):
It's one hundred and sixty five bucks on eBay, so
I think that thirty five hundred dollars. It's probably like
a in a box or you know, like still sealed
Apple iPhone thirty five hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (02:43:09):
Eight gig first generation screen as a couple of pixel
lines that are dead, complete with original box, doc earbuds
and manuals.

Speaker 3 (02:43:18):
Yeah, it's got to be that then, because everything on
here is like three hundred, says three hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (02:43:22):
I was gonna say, the reason it's still on there
is because nobody's dumb enough to spend thirty five hundred
dollars for it. Now, I didn't have that, let's see
iPod because there wasn't an iPhone two. They went from
one to three, didn't they. I had an iPhone three.
I don't remember a two, and so I don't know
why they did that. Maybe because of the three G network,

(02:43:42):
but I was like, the iPhone three is the first
one I remember getting.

Speaker 3 (02:43:46):
Yeah, my my iPod, the one that I have. It
says like people are buying it for like four hundred bucks,
so it makes some money on it.

Speaker 2 (02:43:54):
Now, there you go. I'll let it sit there forever.
Mm hmm. Good luck finding one of those plugs to
charge that some bitch. Now, Yeah, allan anxiety runs in
my family, and that can cause ibs. Again, I don't
know that anxiety is something that's genetic either, I mean,

(02:44:14):
anxiety comes I would think from uh, environmental factors, right,
Like if your parents or your family members are like
really high strong, that's going to kind of put you
in that if that's what they mean. But again, people,
you know, if you know people to have those problems,
like you know, all that stress manifests in your gut

(02:44:34):
and that sucks. My stress manifests somewhere, but fortunately not
in my gut. Where's it manifest in my wiener?

Speaker 7 (02:44:46):
Ah listen in uh.

Speaker 2 (02:44:49):
My back, my brain, my anxiety. Alan, Some aliens would
have to be less advanced than us too. Every species
has to go through early primitive stages of evolution, that's true.
I think they're confining their theories though, to people, to
civilizations that we would come in contact with, because obviously

(02:45:10):
we are not traveling interplanetary or interstellar, so it would
be reliant on those species coming to us or are
we or are we we are hurtling through space. We're
all made of stars, Rob, so any who, Yes, granted,

(02:45:31):
people are terrified at this prospect, Rob that if I'm
putting these two things together, that alien species might bring
us their butthole problems. Have I conflated the two. I
mean they already did you know what we were talking about.
Maybe that's why we have roids on this planet. Well

(02:45:52):
you ever watched that sho ancient aliens o Oh yeah,
where they're like, oh, they've been here way before us,
which is a great theory because there's no way to
prove or is prove it. You can look at these
things that are in the ground and they go, oh,
this proof of an alien species. And maybe we're all aliens.
What if they left some spores here that when they

(02:46:14):
interact with our primitive makeup, causes hemorrhates. I don't know,
I don't know. It's a terrible thing to consider. And
again I'm not lying to you. I'm gonna skip out
of work tonight. I feel so good. I feel like

(02:46:37):
a million. I feel like one hundred dollars coming out
of here today. And that's almost never the case. Allen
aliens are among us, deep in our oceans where we
can't explore. Is that a euphemism? Yeah? What do they
always say? We're always looking to the skies. We should
be looking underwater, right like eighty percent of the world's oceans,

(02:47:02):
or we can't even begin to explore them. I still
can't understand that. Why can't we because there's it's so deep.

Speaker 3 (02:47:07):
No, I know, but there's if there's eighty percent or
seventy percent that we can't explore.

Speaker 2 (02:47:12):
What percentage of it can we explore? To what depth?

Speaker 3 (02:47:15):
I don't know, you know, like you would think, okay,
so you can't hit the bottom. It's been a problem
mind since I started having.

Speaker 2 (02:47:21):
Sex wmms Rob on Instagram never stopped trying. Yeah, I'll
tell you what a lifelong spelunker. Rob's got the mining
helmet on stalactide stalactites.

Speaker 7 (02:47:38):
Yeah, he didn't care.

Speaker 4 (02:47:41):
Now I must leave you as the Brady bunch is
on and I find four of those children incredibly arousing.

Speaker 7 (02:47:48):
Get out of here.

Speaker 5 (02:47:50):
Be careful of what you say. Be careful in every way,
Be careful of what you do. Big brother is watching you.
Be circumspect and discreet, Stay light on your mental feet.

(02:48:10):
One slip and you know you're through. Big Brother is
watching you. And on with our narrative. Remember, oh, it
is paid. And when you watch that davy screens, remember
it works both ways. You'll disappear in a wink. Unless

(02:48:35):
you can double think, you'll vanish into the Blue big
brother is watching you.